channwie - Tumblr blog

channwie · 9 months ago

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i'm a twisted wretched thing who loves like a dog long euthanized, an ancient tomb ransacked and a coffin nailed shut too long ago —

why do i love like i'm dead and you've forgotten to mourn me?

i smile at the wind and the grass and food and empathize with clouds when it rains too much or too little and dust when it settles, i live in the cracked walls of my sister's cramped art studio, broken dishes set aside in my mother's kitchen, the scratched keychain on my father's belt loop waiting to be thrown away — i crave the act of being seen, relish in being the niche thing appreciated by the curious eyes and softened heart, the one thing you can't let go yet can't understand all the same.

i love desperately, pathetically, unrequited in paracosm.

i want to be touched but i am cold and curled fatally fetal in the centre of my room, four walls but two colored charcoal (i can't seem to move on from the idea of you) the other two apricot and forest green — i want to talk to you with my mouth full of citrus and acidic things but i don't want to hear you speak (if you do i'll know you love me less because you know me more)

i want to be loved (not entirely, not really but yes)

#pedir clemencia ✶#— on queue .ᐟ #initially queued for vday #but #idk i've lost my train of thought lately so i'll queue this randomly for feb #lately i've been descending back into a not so great place #and i think last of all places i'd speak about my inner struggles is here but #icel i might be on hiatus when this is posted but still #cherish the little things #please be kind to people #the world is so pretty #i dislike myself for being unhappy in a world like this where there is still so much good and so much light #but this sadness or this hurt is part of me too so i think it matters equally if not almost as much

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channwie · 9 months ago

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💭 13.02.24

#about poverty. . .#‧₊ ⊹ ( 💭 ) my thoughts .#— on queue .ᐟ #i grew up poor (still am)#but i would never outwardly say that as it felt disrespectful to my parents who tried their best #but i think we don't speak about the inner hatred that comes with living like that #as a kid i hated myself for not being able to host sleepovers or try certain foods or go places #i never had a room for myself in the years i've been on this planet #my room*** that i have now is not mine alone #but i was blessed to have parents who give me freedom and stretch themselves thin to ensure i don't feel lesser than in certain aspects #but the inner hatred is something i think won't ever go away? i had a conversation with my sister about this since tmr is valentines day but #there is always that lingering jealousy or hatred of myself when i see someone can freely indulge in their interests and spend money—#—on those things #especially growing up in the caribbean where poverty is the backbone of our society #i have never and probably will never be able to indulge in things i enjoy due to that #and while i am grateful #a certain sense of fomo and sadness comes with that #i could speak about the issues this has on mental health but i digress #and some people living here have it way worse than me #i feel mean and struggle with how to relate to some of my peers or online friends because of this #and sometimes they'll complain about things that stump me and make me internally feel like shit #but i think it's okay to feel bad for being ''poor''#i dont like to say im poor because my family has gone beyond themselves for me again im saying it #but still #these are just my thoughts

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channwie · 10 months ago

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HOW ARENT YOUR WORKS BLOWING UP THEYRE SO GOOD OMG (your blog gives such good vibes)

GAHHH HELLO !!! tysm for saying that 😖 but it's just an archive of sorts my love, i'm really here to personal blog and talk your ears off and rb things i like — i'm glad you like it here though <333

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🧾 ) asks .#signed anonymous ᝰ.ᐟ

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channwie · 10 months ago

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hey alex!! this may come off as rude but i genuinely wanna know if youre ever continuing the prince!satoru series?? i really enjoyed reading it n its one of my fav series of all time <\33

hi baby !! dw you aren't coming off as rude at all, and actually i do have the rest of the chapters stashed in my docs (except the ending chaps) but idk if i'll get around to posting them or continue writing at all for the time being !

i'm glad you love the series and i'm sososo sorry for leaving on a cliffhanger of sorts, i just don't feel ready to re enter publishing my works on here or engaging in the writing community at all at this moment — so for now you can consider it as discontinued.

again, sorry and i love you, thanks for reading my work <33

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🧾 ) asks .#signed anonymous ᝰ.ᐟ

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channwie · 10 months ago

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careless whisper fucks so insanely hard and i will never forgive the internet for making it a "meme song." tonight the music seems so loud i wish that we could lose this crowd maybe its better this way we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say. if you even care.

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🗑️ ) reblogs .#it's the way it's my go to karaoke song #WE COULDVE BEEN SO GOOD TOGETHER ‼️#hot girls have deep and complex history with careless whisper

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channwie · 10 months ago

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hi !! just a quick reminder to pls read my rules 😖 this is not @/driaswrld and if you come here and spam me ab stuff that i specifically said in my rules that i don't want to talk about — please leave and go enjoy my archive instead ty 🩶

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🎧 ) lexlurks .#📢 psa !#i know you guys have good intentions #but please understand that i'm not addressing all that here #i will write when and if i choose to write #please understand #and i'm sorry #love you <33

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channwie · 10 months ago

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good afternoon to the dash !! happy 87 followers , i hope u all are having a great day/night and plspls eat well and rest well <333

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🎧 ) lexlurks .#rn i am prepping ingredients to cook #i hope everyone ate well #if not i am sending u some of my food <33 #and a reminder that u can spoil urself !!#you are allowed to do that n be happy on ur own #(my tummy is grumbling lmao)

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channwie · 10 months ago

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SEUNGMIN / SKZ TALKER EP. 64 REQUESTED BY ANON 🖤

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🎬 ) skz on film .#puppy m !!!#this genre of seungie >>>#pls come back to me my golden retriever son

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channwie · 10 months ago

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vet/ zoo keeper 🦊 Support me on PATREON 🦊🦊

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🗑️ ) reblogs .#hq art

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channwie · 10 months ago

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hiiiiii i love ur blog <3333

hiiiii i love you <3333

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🧾 ) asks .#signed minsooons ᝰ.ᐟ

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channwie · 10 months ago

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It's not a question but more.. appreciation. I stumbled upon your other account and began reading. I can't stop. I wish I found it a little earlier but I'm glad you have this one too <3

gahhhh you are too sweet !! actually,,, i'm glad you're enjoying my works so far, m' sending you a big hug !! i'm unsure if there'll be much writing on this account for now — i hope you have fun w driaswrld tho ily <333

#‧₊ ⊹ ( 🧾 ) asks .#signed faeryminnyx ᝰ.ᐟ

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channwie · 10 months ago

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that subposting shit is weird and what’s weirder is sending people actual death threats . i beg you all to go breathe some air fr

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channwie · 10 months ago

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