casualmorpheusconsumer

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every TED GARCIA scene from EDDINGTON [7/9]

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Whenever a fic starts with “sorry English isn’t my first language”, I lock the fuck IN because I know I’m about to read some Pulitzer Prize winning literature.

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ARMS

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what Animal kingdom does to a mf

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shawn hatosy kissing compilation

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Starts meowing

DR. JACK ABBOT + hands

for @pittinmystomach ♥

[casualmorpheusconsumer]

7 Going On 17 | Girl Dad Jack Abbot

Jack leaned against the hood of the car as he waited for your daughters class to dismiss. She was in the 2nd grade now, the days of crying over her math homework at the dinner table had just begun. Unfortunately so had the days of making Jack go gray— well, grayer.

As the doors opened, out she ran carrying the latest fridge masterpiece that she made in art class.

“Hey bug.” He beamed, taking the backpack from her shoulders and helping her into the car. “How was school?” He asked, getting into the drivers seat and glancing at her from the rear view mirror.”

“Good.” She said matter of factly.

“Just good?” He chuckled, it was the same response every day. “What did you do at school? Learn anything fun?”

“We worked on our times tables.”

“Oh yeah? What’s 5 times 5?”

“That’s an easy one dad, 25.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh I have a boyfriend now.”

Jack hit the breaks with a screeching halt. His face almost hitting the steering wheel.

“What?”

“Mhm” she kicked her feet as she stared out the window, looking for whatever caused her dad to stop the car so suddenly.

“Is that so? What’s his name.”

“Jonathan.”

“Jonathan what?”

“Makowski”

Jack had already planned on recruiting you to find his parents on social media— you were good at that. All you needed was a first name and 5 minutes and you were looking at their cousins, aunts, sister in laws photos from their beach vacation to the Bahamas in 2009. Had you not been an ER doctor, you’d do wonders in the FBI.

“He nice to you?”

“Yeah dad, I’m his girlfriend he has to be nice.”

He felt the closest he’s ever been to an actual heart attack.

He started grilling:

“Where does he live? What’s his dad do? What’s his mom do?”

“I don’t know, dad.”

“Is he nice to the teacher? Does he get good grades?”

“Mhm. He helps me with my times tables.”

“I can help you with your times tables too you know… Does he know your dad carries and has a shovel?”

“Huh?”

“I have a nerf gun too, and I’m not afraid to use it. Does he ever get into any fights? Can he fight?”

“Daddy!”

“Does he like the Steelers or Browns?”

“You mean the Oranges?”

“Honey, I understand their helmets are orange, but they’re still called the Browns…”

“It’s so confusing, why are they called the Browns if their helmets are orange?”

“Yes I know it’s confusing… it’s because the man who created the team was named Paul Brown…”

“That’s stupid.”

“So are the Browns.”

When you pulled into your driveway, you were still asking questions.

“I can’t wait to tell mommy. He kissed me at recess!”

Okay NOW Jack was the closest he’s ever felt to a heart attack.

“Woahwoahwoah,” Jack spun around so fast he heard his back crack like a glow stick. “He did what?”

“Mhm! Under the slide.”

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

Your daughter unbuckled her car seat and jumped out of the car, running with her art project still in her hand. When Jack walked in, it looked like he saw ghost.

“Mommy! Mommy! Guess what?”

“What sweetheart?” You stood over the stove sautéing some vegetables for dinner. Before your daughter could answer, Jack interjected.

“I have to fight a 7 year old.”

“Mommy, don’t let dad fight my boyfriend!” She protested. You bite your lip in an attempt to stifle a laugh.

“Who is your boyfriend sweetheart?”

“Jonathan.”

“Makowski?” She nodded. “He’s a nice boy.”

“Daddy said he’s gonna bury him in the backyard.”

“Honey, I won’t let him do that. Why don’t you go start your homework and then I can help you with whatever you don’t understand, okay?”

She shot daggers at her father and dragged her book bag down the hallway to her room.

“You’re laughing? I gotta fight a second grader who kissed my daughter and you’re laughing?” You looped your arms around his torso, resting your chin on his chest.

“Jack— come on. It’s funny. She’s 7.”

“Exactly, she’s 7!” Deep down Jack knew it was funny. Deep, deep down, beyond whatever uncomfortable feelings that were bubbling in his chest. Visions of him taking his daughter home from the hospital after installing and reinstalling the car seat 5 times. Just to be safe. He saw her taking her first steps. The first time she said dada. Now one mention of a boyfriend and he is picturing her on her wedding day. Having a family of her own.

“You mean to tell me you never had a little girlfriend when you were a kid? Me and Dale Wallace kissed under the bleachers when I was her age.”

“Oh great. Now I gotta fight Dale Wallace too?”

You belly laughed as he buried his head into your neck, biting and sucking on the warm skin.

“Enough! Now go tell your daughter you won’t bury her boyfriend under the tree next to the cat.”

He sighed and made his way down the hallway to his daughter’s room, turning around when he heard your phone buzz and you chuckle.

“What is it?”

Nosy.

“Jonathan’s mom. Asking to set up a play date.”

“Absolutely not!”

[casualmorpheusconsumer]

whatever happens now is entirely the fault of the united states and israel

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🤨

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SHAWN HATOSY as ANDREW 'POPE' CODY Animal Kingdom (2016-2022)

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me next pretty please

ʜᴏᴛᴛᴇꜱᴛ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇꜱ — ᴀɴᴅʀᴇᴡ "ᴘᴏᴘᴇ'' ᴄᴏᴅʏ 6/♾️

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Pope's Back

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And Every single one is accurate

Do you think he saw something crazy and decided maybe rejoining twitter was a mistake

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This is my favorite genre of Shawn Hatosy pictures

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ANIMAL KINGDOM — 02x08

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Someone PLEASE take his phone away

@neon-travesty