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ON SALE TOMORROW at Caesarink.com

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The 1980 Dallas RPG was a Soap Opera Wargame?

In 1980, SPI, a company known for its wargames did a strange thing and published an RPG based on the Dallas tv show. If you don't know anything about the tv show, don't worry, I will protect you. It's too late for me though. You go on ahead. Basically, it was a hit TV show of big money family feuding. Imagine Succession but it was written in the 1980s and instead of TV news, it was an oil company. Unlike the show, the RPG wasn't a hit. The art director of the game famously wrote that they printed 80,000 copies and that was 79,999 more than people wanted. That one person seemed to be this person's grandma who bought it for him to save his soul from D&D/Satan.

What is this game though? Well, James F Dunnigan, founder of SPI and designer of legendary wargame, Panzerblitz, seems to have applied his analytical mind to the internecine squabbles of Dallas and decided that, if you think about it, petty family drama isn't so different from CIA covert ops. And he was right.

As you'd expect from a wargame, the rules are dry and clinical to a fault. You start by picking one of the 9 characters from the show - JR, Jock, Sue Ellen, Pam, etc. They all have stats like Persuasion, Coercion, Seduction. And these stats have attack/defend values. For example, JR has a Coercion of 24 because he's a real jerk. Sue Ellen has a Seduction resist of 18, but it's 20 against JR, because again, he seems to have been a real jerk. This game genuinely went out of its way to make sure you know JR's wife really really doesn't want to go near him.

Each character starts the session ("episode") with a secret story-based objective. Jock wants to run an angry former employee out of town, JR wants to cheat an Arab oil magnate out of 100 million dollars, Sue Ellen wants to do a favour for an old boyfriend. Yeah, what can I say? Some of these objectives feel more important than others. Regardless, you achieve these objectives by controlling 4 or more specific minor characters and organisations by the end of the game. For example, to enact his 100 million dollar plan, JR has to control the Ewing Oil Company, Mustafa Quattara, Professor Bayard, the reporter Mary Cleef, and so on. But characters' objective overlap so Pam also wants Mustafa Quattara and Jock also wants Professor Bayard. These conflicting goals means players need to scheme, negotiate and attack each other so they can win.

The sessions play out in five rounds. Each round, the GM sets the scene. Then, the players can negotiate and make deals. Then, we enter the conflict phase where each player makes three moves - either trying to gain control of uncontrolled NPCs, or attacking another player to steal an NPC from under them, or protecting their own NPCs. And the game throws in little curveballs every round: Oops, some of JR's drinking buddies are in town and he can't say no to them, so his character is out of this round. Hopefully the player has some NPCs that they can use to act instead. Oops, Mustafa Quattara is being chased by assassins. Whoever controls his card has to give it up as he disappears for a bit and comes back uncontrolled. The end result is somewhere in between Vampire the Masquerade (or rather, Undying) and Blood on the Clocktower.

Sure, the math is dense (you roll 2d6 under the difference between the attack value and the defense value, plus or minus any currency spent). Sure, it takes 9 players to really sing. Sure, multiple people can complete their objective so you need to track victory points separately to decide the real winner. Sure, you have to take the homophobia out of the Seduction rules. Sure, roleplaying is completely optional. Sure, sure, sure. The game is a mess. But it's a very playable mess. I'd go so far as to say it's an electric mess. It's shockingly (sorry) fun to play. I think the secret lies in a very clear agenda for the players, a tight boardgame-like action economy, a premise that supports hilarious degrees of pettiness, and an inter-personal experience that demands everyone pay attention to what their friends are doing.

So. Am I planning a full 9 person play-by-post game of this? Yes. Am I thinking of changing the setting and the math? Yes. Is that basically designing a new game? Yes. Should this game be labelled "Powered by Dallas" or, as one of my players suggested, "Hornswoggled by Dallas"? YES.

(This was first published in the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

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People ask how to support me sometimes, and while I won't be relaunching my patreon for a long while (since im still not doing the comic), dare I suggest my old side comic that is actually finished and is available on itch.io:

https://cryo-draws.itch.io/blue-pill-arcade

It's a weird/sad/cyberpunky love story with a lil bit of spice at the end.

Hopefully I'll get back into making new content proper once our game is done.

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The things I devoured so I could devour you

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the girls...

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The tarrot card designed for DOOMSONG

Late Pledges for the game are here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong/

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ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH With 24 hours left on the Doomsong Kickstarter we are lighting the becon. Check out the page, share it with your friends and enemies alike, and above all... We'll see you in Haell!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong?ref=user_menu

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Check out the whole project over at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong

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To check out the full adventure head on over to the kickstarter (live now) for a little looksie: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong?ref=user_menu

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The Kickstarter for DOOMSONG is still going, There are two weeks left and we're funded, but thats not a good reason to stop showing off all the amazing art, design, concepts, lore and rules in the stunning book.

Go Take a look at: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong

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Kickstarter update:

Tonight at 9 Chris Mcdowall is going to have a little read through of the doomsong sample PDF. The sample can be found at caesar.ink/doomsong and has everything you need to run the one shot castle Lethe adventure.

To check out the full adventure head on over to the kickstarter (live now) for a little looksie: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong?ref=user_menu

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We funded in 24 hours!!!! Thanks to everyone, We can't wait to make this game and see it coming to life on your tabletops, or coming to death? I's been a long 24 hours, If you still haven't looked over the page please, come in, kick of your shoes, there's no harm in looking....

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Kickstarter update:

End of the first night and the day breaks before us.

We got nearly 80% of the way to our goal and we still have high hopes of reaching it in the first 24 hours. I've attached a disordered pile of content to lure you in, but if you like what you see or just want to know more head over to the kickstarter at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong?ref=user_menu

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AND ITS LIVE See for yourself at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong and help us break the first seal!

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4 HOURS REMAINING

Forgive us this is going to be one of those, keep posting to fight off the anxiety days. Doomsong is going live at 4 UK Time. Also, we hit 666 followers overnight, so the anichrist is going to be a playable character in the game! Lucky buggers. Heres the link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong?ref=discovery

Sharing this around on any platform you can is going to really help us out. We are ramping upto the culmination of over four years work and we need all the help we can get. Thanks you, and as always...

I'll see you in Heall.

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24 HOURS TO GO

Sweet baby antichrist! The first seal breaks tomorrow at 4 UK time, The kickstarter goes live and the guild stands between the tides of deaths Heall and the crumbling remains of the realms of the ecclesiarch. How can we stand against the end times? Together thats how. Hold fast or be devoured, the guild stands with you, do you stand with us?

The Kickstarter is here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong

Hit the notify me button and maybe we can hit 666 before we go live

We'll see you in Heall

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4 DAYS TO GO

With 4 days before the kickstarter we are on the cusp of reaching 666 followers to the campaign, if we can hit the number of the beast before we go live on the 17th then Jacks going to put a rare chance to play as the avatar of destruction, the dead gods second coming into the character creator. So share this around a bit and bring in the sacrifices.

the kickstarter preview page is now out for review, check it out here https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/caesarink/doomsong?ref=6pgzm4&token=35c58314

Hit the notify me button and we’ll let you know the moment you can pledge your allegiance to the guild