br0kenhopes4rchive - Tumblr blog

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

because we are honest in my blog, here are the realities about being underweight

what other people don't tell you

yes, skinny privileges is true, and everyone treats you better, but how is it to actually being skinny?

sitting on the floor sucks, it hurts. you can feel your tailbone and its so uncomfortable.

insomnia 24/7, no matter how much did you workout and that you are feeling super tired, you won't be able to sleep at night most of the time.

you find yourself wrapping your fingers around your arms, legs, more often, without even noticing.

since your legs have less fat, crossing your legs is uncomfortable and sometimes you cross them twice, like a pretzel.

there are days that depression hits hard and you just want to rot in bed.

craving food like crazy, stuff that you never ever liked (for me it was peanut butter) but you would start craving them because your body wants/needs the nutrients.

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

Anyone have purging tip every time I do I feel like it take forever to get everything out of me

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[br0kenhopes4rchive]

been feeling really blue lately ...

૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟꒱ა

this post is gonna be different asf ik its not 3d related but i lowk-highkey dont have anyone or anywhere else i can/feel comfortable talking abt this....

TW: RAPE MENTIONED

my mind is racing with nostalgia these last few nights.. lately ive been reflecting on my life a lot as i wind down for the night after putting my daughter to bed, my life felt boundless and every moment was an adventure.

i miss the simplicity of those days—the laughter, the friendships, and the thrill of being young and carefree.

as I sit back and look at my life thus far, memories flood my mind. I think about my very first friend from middle school, the one whom i shared secrets and dreams with during those formative years. u saved my life countless times kier ily sm....

i think of the old coworkers from random jobs and school bullies; names and faces that faded into the background of my life, but whose memories still linger.

faces and events lost to time float through my mind, reminding me of the experiences that have shaped who I am today. as I sift through my old playlists, I'm transported back to the moments when these songs were my favorite—skipping school, and driving aimlessly across the city with the windows down just for the thrill of it. hotboxing in the car and feeling invincible.

I chuckle at the memories of sneaking out and getting caught, the thrill of rebellion coursing through my veins. I remember old homes and sleepovers with cousins, the scent of candles and the sound of laughter and music echoing through the night as we get hushed. then there were first crushes and those sweet, first fleeting romances that made my heart race.

each of these memories brings with it a wave of emotion, a bittersweet reminder of who I used to be. jus the other day, I caught a whiff of a cheap walmart body spray, and in an instant, I was 16 back behind my high school, with my bestie wearing low-rise jeans with a diet mountain dew in one hand and a newport in between my lips. these moments are etched in my memory...

but theres something that has been lingering in my thoughts more than anything else..

i find myself reflecting on the reality that I haven’t been in a real relationship in years. this void in my life is one I yearn to fill.

while I have been blessed with the joy of motherhood, I carry the weight of my journey—becoming a mother through the traumatic experience of sexual assault.

In this journey of motherhood, I find myself navigating the beautiful chaos without the partner I so deeply desire by my side..

I crave that special someone who should be beside me, no matter what the day brings—whether it’s moments of joy or times of tears.

imagine having a partner who supports you unconditionally—a confidant who walks with you through the ups and downs of life.

I envision quiet moments, simply lying down, embraced by that person, feeling safe and cherished, knowing they will always be there for me.

It is the comfort of their presence that I seek—an anchor amidst the chaos, a gentle reminder that I am not alone. an energy that can quiet the buzzing thoughts in my mind and bring me peace with just their touch or voice..

after a long day of caring for my beautiful baby, I yearn for someone to welcome home, to cook for, to kiss— who understands the trials of the day and to share both the joys and burdens of parenthood with. ive been longing for this connection, for this sweet- special kind of love, it tears me apart....

I crave the touch and intimacy that no one else should provide. my heart is overflowing with devotion, yet I find myself with no one to give it to.

i was gonna hangout w the guy i been talking to for a while (would be our 3rd time) then he ghosted me out of nowhere??? legit after saying he was otw to the park we agreed to meet at? idk what happened all ik is i sat outside w my daughter for an hour then it started raining..... so we went home.. my baby had fun playing tho so its wtv <3 sent a message to ask what happened and he had blocked me?!

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

cal logg

Limit: 300 cals

Breakfast: soup, 26 cals

Lunch: skipped

Dinner: goulash leftovers, 260 cals

Ate: 286 cals

Burned: 941 cals

Total: -655 calories 🎀

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

If you’re eating because you’re bored, take slow and small bites with little sips of water in between

If you’re eating because you’re hungry CHUG a bunch of water and then eat your meal extremely quick, you will feel more full that way

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

who wants to fast tg?

abt to do a 3 day fast:

day 1: liquid fast

day 2 & 3: water fast

dms r open if u wanna be 4n@ buddies

🦋😽🍄‍🟫🌻

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

almost binged td lowk i have been slacking lately with working out too.... ln was the first time in 3 days

.. |˚ᆺ˚| .......

i went shopping td tho so tm is a liquid fast with bone broth and then the next two im water fasting

∩(︶▽︶)∩

c4l log below cut ˊˎ˗ ↴

cal limit: 800

consumed: 793

lunch:

snack (which i dont normally have):

my daughter wanted to eat a snack tg and watch

sophia the first and ofc i couldnt tell her no :(

dinner:

i felt so bloated this afternoon im rlly not used to eating that much all at once.. and felt so guilty eating the rib meat for dinner because of how much i ate for lunch but i needed it tbh cuz my iron has been low recently....

workouts i did tn (^з^) :

+ i did some stretching td too:

im gonna try n post, my cal log at least, every day so im forced to not embarrass myself by binging 🙏🏻

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

bought the cutest pair of pants but theyre just a size too small-

perfect motivation to lose more weight

(^з^)-☆

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

i got dizzy 4 times today doing farm work i love it

🪵🍄🌻🌞

cal limit: 800

consumed: 439

breakfast:

dinner:

i rlly only had two fries; but id rather be safe than srry w the cals xD

worked out for lil over 45mins:

stay consistent babes and u can achieve all ur dreams and more 🌼💫🦋

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

Daily reminder to stop eating

In all seriousness, how tf did this happen?

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

Chic Diet (the book): Masterlist

Index in case you wanna read it...

(Like/reblog this in case you want to read that way. I'll be adding the latter parts soon and then i will edit this masterlist as I go)

FOREWORD

THE FUNDAMENTALS CIGARETTES COFFEE (BLACK, NATCH) DIET COKE ADDERALL AMBIEN ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS CHEWING GUM SPARKLING WATER CHAMPAGNE

THE MECHANICS OVERDIGESTION BEING COLD DIURETICS FIBER LAXATIVES COLONICS

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HEALTHY JUICE CLEANSING GLUTEN SENSITIVITY DETOXING EATING CLEAN SUPERFOODS HEALTH BEVERAGES COCONUT WATER NON-DAIRY MILKS BARS ACUPUNCTURE GENERAL ORTHOREXIA EXERCISE

UM, IT'S NOT A FAD… IT'S A LIFESTYLE VEGETARIANISM THE BABY FOOD DIET THE AIR DIET THE PALEO DIET THE RIDICULOUSLY LOW CARB DIET THE STRATEGIC STARVATION DIET THE RAW FOOD DIET THE ONE FOOD DIET THE TWO CUP DIET THE HCG DIET THE CABBAGE SOUP DIET THE I-CAN'T-SEE-IT DIET THE I'M-FUCKING-RICH-AND-GLAMOROUS DIET

HIDE IT, BETCH BLACK SPANX BOHO CHIC ONE SIZE DOWN

I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S ILLEGAL COCAINE MDMA VALLEY OF THE DOLLS BANNED DIET PILLS

FODDER FOR YOUR SHRINK COMPETITION MODERATION COMPROMISE LYING HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER BEING A TOTAL BITCH STRESSOREXIA

ALL THAT OTHER CRAY SHIT OCCASIONAL VOMITING CHEW-AND-SPIT HYPNOSIS THINSPIRATION PUBLIC EATING A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS SHARING IS CARING COACHELLA BOO, YOU WHORE

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

Be honest, are you a bad person in any kind of way? I've been finding out about gross stuff that a bunch of blogs I really liked did and I feel icky :(

yeah in most ways. Good luck out there

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

I love when people are like “kids today just want to stay inside and play on their computers, they don’t want to go outside ever” and I’m always like where do you want them to go? You’ve turned every bit of public land into territory that is untouchable without a car. Do you want them to play in traffic? Do you want them to walk 5 miles to the nearest shopping centre? Where do you want them to hangout exactly?

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

chat i did not stay under my c4l limit (800) i literally stuffed my face all day td i felt so stuffed and fat and disgusting earlier..

im bloated asf and i have no motivation to work out at all rn im gonna sob- idek how but im hungry rn (it's midnight) but all ik is atleast my stomach feels empty again after being a gluttonous pig all day..

[br0kenhopes4rchive]