bobbieisthebest

[bobbieisthebest]

Joel holding a Roman candle aloft, running: Will we do it? Will we do The Correct Thing? Hahaha, NEVER! Let's make poor decisions!

Patty: WHOO!

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Sam: We're going to drink magic thinking juice until we figure out what to do.

Flick: Magic thinking juice?

Sam: Beer.

Kato: That would explain why you nailed a grand piano to the ceiling.

Sam: Did it or did it not fit in the room that way, Mr. Complainy?

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Alicia: You’re a good friend, Juni.

Juniper: One of us has to be.

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Dad: closes the kitchen cabinet too roughly

muffled sound of glass crashing

Dad: You hear that sound, Sammy?

Sam, visiting the twins for the first time: Yeah?

Dad: That's the sound of somebody else's problem.

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Richard: Everyone around here is crazy!

Juniper: That’s not true

Wendy: Let me put down my bag of rubber hands and explain something to you...

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Jake: you can trust me

Bobbie: I don’t even trust the way you just now said i could trust you.

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Joel: Wendy! You’re forcing me to be the voice of reason! And it’s not a good look for me!

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Buddy: I’m totally useless.

Bobbie: You’re not totally useless. You can be used as a bad example!

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Juniper: I won't say Alicia has a "strained" relationship with the truth... She don't know the bitch. She's never met her.

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Patty: Fuck being nonchalant. I love being a chalant bitch. I have never been chill not once in my life. Even when I am asleep, I am clenching my teeth.

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Nate: It's like feeding two birds with one hand!

Juniper: …Do you mean "killing two birds with one stone"?

Nate, very serious: I would never hurt a bird

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[bobbieisthebest]

I'm on an indie game kick where I want to play another game afterwards with that exact vibe but it just doesn't exist

[bobbieisthebest]

[bobbieisthebest]

I've been playing Growing Up and oh man I have so many feels!

Idk why more of you guys aren't playing this game. You start as a baby and you choose what skills to learn and make choices with how you interact with parents, teachers, other kids, and potential love interests!

There are even queer characters!

There are themes of divorced parents, generational trauma, drug abuse, gang life, selfharm, underage drugs and alcohol, and bullying.

HOWEVER

The moments in between that you have with some of the characters can be the sweetest and most wholesome moments, there are several troubled characters that you can help avoid awful fates. If you have no luck with a love interest you can even choose what gender you want your future partner to be.

You also get to change the hair and outfit for your character from elementary school-high school. There are mini games to help with your skills and build out your character. You even pick your initial parents.

After your character gets to adulthood, it gives a summary of what happened to you and the other characters you were close to and after that YOU go on to have a baby and that's the start of the next generation.

You literally play as your character's child and continue the story with new friends to meet.

I cannot stress this enough

Go get this game, it's $15 bucks on Steam

Skip the next shitty sim pack and get this game

Growing Up is too good to miss

[bobbieisthebest]

Jake: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Juniper: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Jake:... I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

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Joel: Oh look, I survived! Brilliant! Love it when I do that!

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Flick: Bobbie was going to run into a metal bar so we yelled ‘duck’

Patty: She proceeded to turn and quack at us before slamming into the bar.

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Buddy: Jake’s in trouble!

Richard, not looking up: Jake's always in trouble.

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Sam: 'You'll never find the body' is such a boring threat. A better threat would be; 'You'll never stop finding the body.'

Kato: Or just say, 'They'll be finding parts of you for at least four months…and you'll still be alive for three of them.'

Nate: Now that's a threat!

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Joel: I love unnecessarily ominous statements, and I will still love them when there's nobody alive to make them.

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Charles: Jake, are you high?

Jake, clearly high: Hello. Am I what?

Bobbie: High.

Jake: Hello.

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Joel, in holding with Wendy after skipping school: Everything will be alright.

Wendy: How can you say that?

Joel: Because sometimes when things get tough, denial is all we have.

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*During the CnS campaign*

Joel: you’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens-

explosions are heard from his tape recorder

Joel: …but I made a mistake.

Kato:...roll for initiative McGee.

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Juniper: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Alicia: What changed your mind?

Juniper: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

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Richard: Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?

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Mort with his gang: Why can’t we all just get along?

Patty: Because most of you are assholes.

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Joel: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Charles: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Joel: Yeah, they're all birds.

Nate: *falls over laughing*

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Coach: Fletcher, is that a gun?

Jake, deciding against all odds that he’s going to gaslight himself out of this situation: what gun.

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Sam to Juniper: I’m in love with you. You just want to be friends. And I’m totally cool living with that constant pain.

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Charles: Oh, give me patience.

Patty: I think you mean 'give me strength.'

Charles: If it gave me strength, you'd be dead.

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The Lad to the other mentors: Are any of you happy?

Elliot: I cross the street without looking.

[bobbieisthebest]

Joel: How do I cite a dream/hallucination in APA 7th?

Kato: What?

Joe;: I want to include something that was revealed to me in a vision in one of my research papers. But I do not know how to cite it.

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Bobbie: stop your addiction to being right!

Alicia: good advice for everyone who isn’t me.

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Charles to Jake and Joel: It must be a liberating thing for you both, not to be blessed with a moral compass.

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Kato: Ah, the Scientific Method. Step One: Fuck around. Step Two: Find out. Step Three: Record your results. Step Four: Confirm, or fuck around again.

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Patty: How did you get Alicia to co-operate with you?

Wendy: We threatened to reveal her dark secret.

Patty: Which is what?

Juniper: I honestly have no idea, we were both bluffing, but it must be something horrible.

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Bobbie: Joel is a good person, if you ignore all the things he does on purpose and concentrate on all of the things he does by accident!

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Nathan: We should turn you in right now.

Jake: You wouldn’t! Would you?

Richard: Give us one reason why we shouldn’t.

Jake: Because… I’m cute?

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Sam: We’ve known each other for a long time, right? You’ve come to respect me?

Flick: Sure.

Sam: Well, get ready to stop.

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Buddy: Do you ever think about these things before you say them, or just…?

Joel: Yeah, I do. I think ‘Wow, that’s brilliant, I should say that out loud’. And then I do, and it’s spectacular. It exceeds my expectations.

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Sam playing CnS: Nathan and I are here on a vital mission of friendship and loyalty.

Kato, the tired DM: And here I thought you were on a mission to get drunk and bed the local innkeepers.

Sam: We can do more than one thing at a time.

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Charles: You do realize that stunt you pulled defines “out of control”?

Alex: I just wanted you to see that I would never put any of you at risk if I wasn’t willing to take the same chances myself.

Juniper: I love how you think that’s comforting.

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Patty: Do cats understand what static shock is, or does my cat think I have a mildly painful defensive ability that I sometimes use on them for no reason?

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Jake: Alcohol tastes better when you’re underage because the secret ingredient is crime.

[bobbieisthebest]

I've got some ideas for potential rps for the game growing up by vile monarch. I like having the npcs interact with each other as a friend group (and of course with some pairings). been trying to find someone to work with but it's such a niche game I can't find anyone. hit me up if you're interested

[bobbieisthebest]

YES GOT HIM TO SURVIVE

[bobbieisthebest]

Joel, holding a baseball bat: There’s no need to be afraid of me. I don’t bite.

Mort, standing a safe distance away: Yeah, but do you wack?

Joel:

Joel: I don’t bite.

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Charles: I don’t know about this, Jake.

Jake: The last time you said that Hoffer you ended up loving it.

Charles: The last time I said that you were holding a bag of durian flavored chips; now you’re holding a roman candle. They are two very different things.

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Nate: You remind me of a Russian doll.

Alicia: Aw, thank yo—

Nate: Full of yourself.

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Kato: If anyone has any questions, ask me.

Bobbie: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?

Kato: ... If anyone has any RELEVANT questions, ask me.

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Wendy (a warlock): Do we not have a plan?

Sam, playing barbarian: Who needs a plan? I’ve got an axe.

Sam: *starts running ahead*

Kato, the very tired DM: An axe is not a plan!!!

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Flick: One time Jake and Juniper were having a heated argument in the car and Juniper took Jake's Queen tape out of the player and threw it out the window with rage and Jake looked her dead in the eyes and pulled out a second copy of that same tape and put it back in the player.

Buddy:...And Jake’s still alive?

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Dad: Tell your mother everything is fine.

Joel: Hey, Mom! We haven't eaten for days, your plants are dead, and I'm dropping out of school. Love ya, bye!

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Kato: What? Didn't I specifically tell you not to do specifically, exactly just that?

Alex: Actually, specifically, you said not to *humiliate* you by doing that. So, we won't!

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Richard: 99% of the time, whenever random violent crap happens, it seems you're somehow involved!

Joel: Can't you have a little faith in that last 1%?

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Buddy: *screams*

Joel: *screams louder to establish dominance*

Flick, concerned: Um, shouldn’t we do something?

Patty: No, I want to see who wins this time.

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Jake: Fun fact of the day: pen ink tastes like almonds..... don't try to suck the ink out of your pens kids it's disgusting and makes your mouth feel funny.

Patty: Why would you even do that?

Jake *shrugs*: I was bored.

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Bobbie at Alicia’s house: I love jacuzzis!

Bobbie: Sometimes I pretend that I'm getting captured by witches and they're using me to make soup!

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Juniper: I know this is going to sound sarcastic, but this is a great plan and I’m really impressed with you guys.

Buddy:

Nate:

Sam: Don’t listen to her, this is a great plan.

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Wendy: Kato, are you sure you don't wanna use my graduation speech? It goes like this: Later, losers.

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Alicia: Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving extremely late with an iced coffee. Please respect that.

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Juniper: I am so hungover. I have never been this hungover. Are we dead?

Alex: I feel great, I ran 5k this morning.

Flick: Really?

Alex: No I threw up in the shower.

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Joel: My life is a cautionary tale, but like a cool, flashy one that instead of inspiring people to do better it inspires them to be more chaotic

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Juniper: can we go to a haunted house?

Mom: what’s wrong with the one we live in?

Joel: wh- wait what?!

Mom: goodnight Children.

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Humphrey: Mr. Jake, what’s your favorite food?

Jake, deadpan: Children.

Flick: JACOB!

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Nate: Are you crazy?

Joel: Legally no, there's not a word for my condition.

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Charles: [casually taking four stairs at a time]

Wendy, falling behind: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fu-

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Kato: Dear people who won’t stop asking- Yes, I am actually feeling fine, and yes, I really have been getting a decent amount of sleep at night!

Kato *bites into an onion*

Kato: Hey, this apple tastes like shi-

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Richard: *puts a cup down over a spider*

Joel: *appears; smiles; puts 2 more cups down beside Jay’s*

Richard: Come on, Joel, please no, don’t… DON’T—

Joel: *starts shuffling the cups*

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Jake: Hoffer, in your professional opinion, how would I die?

Charles: Murder. Gangland style execution. We never find your head.

Nate: That’s a shame.

Patty: *slightly raises finger in question*

Charles: You slip in a tub.

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Buddy about Jake: I'd follow him to hell and back, but I wish he'd stop going there.

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Bobbie: I love to dismiss my horrible decisions by saying "yeah that was a weird time in my life" as if the rest of my existence hasn't been absolute clown shoes.

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Alicia: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

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Juniper: When I was small-

Kato: *chuckles* Was?

[bobbieisthebest]

Growing Up MC: Juniper and Joel McGee

- Her middle name is Elizabeth.

- Oldest Twin.

- Writing and Cells & Sorcery were her sole hobbies.

- Juniper likes to snoop and get in people's business. She combines this with writing and becomes a Journalist. 

- Her best friends are Richard, Charles, Flick, and Bobbie

- Casual friends with Nathan, Kato, Alex, Wendy, and Buddy.

- Frenmies with Alicia and Sam. 

- Love Interest is Jake. 

- The Mom Friend of the group.

- Juniper continues being friends with Sergio well after his mentorship of her. He ended up being a witness at her and Jake’s Las Vegas wedding along with Flick and Kato, who also decided to get married at the same time. 

- Sergio likes Jake because Jake will argue with him and Jake likes Sergio because he also cares about justice.

- Worked as a cashier at the Mall before quitting in her junior year and becoming a tutor.

- Jake's mom loves her and Juniper gets along well with Mrs. Fletcher. Mr. Fletcher and Juniper merely tolerate each other.

- Juniper and Jake have twin sons, Freddy and Felix.

- His middle name is Evan.

- Youngest by five minutes, Joel claims Juniper cheated him out of being the firstborn.

- Bowls as a hobby and played baseball throughout his school years and well into college.

- Joel and Alex buy and run the arcade. Joel also coaches Little League.

- His best friend’s are Wendy, Jake, and Kato. Gets along well with everyone else, with the exception of Alicia. Joel HATES Alicia and she hates him back.

- Has a weird enemy to friend relationship with Sam.

- Love Interest is Alex. 

- Therapist/Chaos Friend.

- Joel and The Lad remain close throughout their lives and Joel invites the man to his wedding. 

- The Lad wholeheartedly approves of Alex. 

- Worked as a Kitchen Assistant all through high school.

- Alex’s parents love him. 

- Joel and Alex have three children: Lady, Yvonne, and Ruthie.

[bobbieisthebest]

Kato: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Charles: Actually, Kato, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

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Juniper: What’s your plan?

Jake: Don’t die.

Juniper: Okay, but beyond that?

Jake: Don’t die.

Juniper: That’s not a plan. It’s a general demand of living.

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Richard: The word "incident" isn't reassuring.

Alex: Then you're gonna hate the phrase "intentional grease fire".

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Sam: If a beautiful woman disagrees with me I will immediately change my views. I have no principles.

Flick: Well, maybe you should have principles.

Sam: You're right maybe I should.

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-

Nathan, drunk: what's the word for when your hands are bisexual?

Charles: do you mean ambidextrous?

Nathan: i love you so much.

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Bobbie: If something happened to Richard …I couldn’t live with myself. Of course I wouldn’t have to because Juniper would kill me.

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Patty: I was arrested for being too cool.

Wendy: the charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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Joel (other MC): And then I come home to find you chewing on my twin sister’s face!

Jake: We were kissing.

Joel: Guilty!

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Coach: “Become a teacher” they said, “It’ll be fun” they said

Joel, from the dugout: PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!

Sam: it’s to big to smother, get the reverse flame thrower!!

Flick: it’s called a fire extinguisher!

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Alicia: I’m never wrong. I thought i was wrong one time, but i was wrong.

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Bobbie, after fucking something up: Whoops

Joel: Whoops? WHOOPS? this is not a “whoops” situation. we are far past whoops. whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. we are solidly in “oh fuck” territory, and i expect you to act like it.

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Juniper: This is such a bad idea.

Jake: Then why are you coming along?

Juniper: One of us need to be able to talk the police out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Patty: What’s the best thing to wear to court? A law suit!

Joel:

Juniper: Is this your way of telling us you have a court date?

Patty: It’s my third offense!

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Jake: When I was little, I wanted Spider Man powers, so I found a spider and let it bite me. Later that day my parents took me to a doctor and I got diagnosed with ADHD.

Jake: For years I was afraid that getting bitten by the spider, instead of giving me super powers, had given me ADHD.

[bobbieisthebest]

I don’t have the time to test every combination but I kinda want to, that’s how good Growing Up is.

[bobbieisthebest]

What is this bad boy extragavanza

[bobbieisthebest]

Charles: Can you keep a secret? 

Kato: Do you know anything about my life? 

Charles: No, I don't. Good point.

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Juniper: You need to be nicer

Jake: I am nice!

Juniper: You threatened to stab him!

Jake: And I think giving him a warning was pretty nice of me.

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Flick: Alright, so I got this box and we're gonna put everything we love in it.

Bobbie: *raises hand*

Flick: No, we're not putting Juniper in the box.

Bobbie: *lowers hand*

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Wendy: How come you've been so nice lately?

Alicia: What do you mean?

Wendy: You're just nicer than usual.

Alicia:  ...I can punch you if you want.

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Nathan: Did you ever think about how we never stop tasting out own tongues?

Charles: How about I taste yours for a change?

Sam: I hate this so much. I hate this so much. Get out of my house!

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Sam: Were you dropped on your head as a kid?

Jake: Bold of you to assume I was held.

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Nathan: I can't think straight with you so close to me.

Charles: That's the point.

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Baby Juniper: *crying*

Dad, picks Juniper up: Oh, it’s okay, sweetheart, you’ll learn how to do that on the inside when you get older 

Mom: … 

Mom: Love, are you okay? 

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Alex: There's a fine line between not listening and not caring.  I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.

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Kato typing to his Cells and Sorcery group: All right, the way I see it we got three options. I’m gonna go through these in order from fucking terrible to goddamned nightmare

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Richard: I feel like I can be myself around you guys.

Nathan: But you're quiet and weird around us?

Richard: Yep

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Jake: Sorry, I was being sort of a dick.

Buddy: We weren't going to say it.

Juniper, Richard, and Bobbie: I was.

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Buddy: I will put my A down to make ‘a’.

Flick: I will add onto your 'a’ to make 'at’.

Juniper: I'll add onto your 'at’ to make 'rat’.

Kato: I will add onto your 'rat’ to make 'biostratigraphic'.

Bobbie: [Knocks the board onto the floor] Oh no! Earthquake!

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Alicia:  I don’t dress to impress. I dress to depress. I wanna look so good that people hate themselves.

[bobbieisthebest]

Nathan has got to be the best love interest in the game so far that I've romance. In Growing up by vile monarch.

[bobbieisthebest]

Buy This Game

okay like i hate advertising shit, but if any of you have 15 dollars to blow on an indie game/visual novel, go pick up Growing Up.  It’s a mix of Alter Ego and Chinese Parents and it is… it’s fucking GOOD guys. The writing, the characters, the 90s aesthetic.  I FUCKING LOVE IT.  It is waaaay too cheap for how good it is. 

[bobbieisthebest]

Juniper (MC): What did you two do?

Jake:

Mort:

Richard: You guys aren’t in trouble, we just need to know if we have to lie to the police again or not.

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Alicia: Something’s off.

Bobbie, sarcastically: Maybe you’ve finally developed emotions and feel bad for hurting people! Maybe THIS is your redemption arc!

Alicia: No, but that’s funny.

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Mom: Did you wash the dishes?

Dad: I thought you wanted to do that...

Mom: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

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Teacher: Sit up straight.

Charles: No, I'll sit as gay as I want.

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Flick: Sometimes I worry about Juniper.

Flick: I mean, how damaged does the girl have to be, to be into someone as annoying as Jake?

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Nathan: If I came home with four ducks would you be mad?

Charles: What's in your bag?

Nathan: I think you know what's in my bag.

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*After the incident with the football*

Charles: You want to kill Sam? 

Jake hugging Juniper: Just briefly.

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Alicia: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Bobbie: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

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Juniper: I'm always thinking about that one time I was on register for like four hours straight and I said over mic, "Someone please take over register I am about to become the Joker" and they came to relieve me faster than I've ever seen anyone relieve me before.

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Buddy: I really like these cool lights you installed.

Juniper: Actually those are police lights. Jake is getting pulled over again.

Jake: Don’t the police have anything better to do? Three people are getting mugged right over there!

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Kato: Just try

Wendy: I'll try, but I'm telling you I'll purposefully fail

Kato: How is that trying!?!

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Wendy: Without ugliness, there would be no beauty in this world. Thank you for your sacrifice, Sam.

Sam: Look here you tiny shit-

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Jake: Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?

Buddy: We could die?

Jake: Please, like that’s ever stopped us before.

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Bobbie: Not all of your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value.

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Bobbie: What disease do beekeepers get? Hives.

Kato: Hives is a skin reaction due to excess antihistamines. Not a disease.

Bobbie:

Bobbie: Hives.

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Nathan, hungover: please tell me I imagined claiming I was the king of all ducks.

Richard: Well I would, but then I would be lying to the King of all Ducks.

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Juniper: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Flick: 'Prettiest Smile'

Richard, beaming: 'Nicest Personality'

Jake: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Kato: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'. Damn straight.

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Charles: I mean, yeah, I get along with my father great! Last conversation we had didn't go so well, but that was years ago.

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Jake: When we were little kids, Richard got bit by a house spider and he was crying so I went to get some stuff from Juniper’s mom to soothe and numb it, but before I could even walk out the door, I heard him quietly whisper, "I can’t handle the responsibility of being Spiderman."

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Sam: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.

Kato: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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Flick: Why are you apologising for liking me back?

Kato: Because I don’t want to ruin— wait a second. Pause and rewind, what did you just say?