blackmagickwords

[blackmagickwords]

Better?

I’ve been learning a lot about myself over the last year or so. Sometimes I don’t know what to make of who and what I am, but mostly I just don’t think about it. “Getting better” was always the goal and sometimes I have, and sometimes I haven’t. Mostly, I rely on the medication. But medication only gets you so far, and it certainly doesn’t help you make connections. So I medicate and I don’t…

[blackmagickwords]

to be, or not to be.

If I could peel of my skinuntether myself from the muscle and sinewlet the bones cease to be a walking structure I would let myself just bewithout the urgent pressureto be anything I wasn’t But would I only be a ghost?a lonely thing left to hauntthe spaces I couldn’t otherwise fit in?

[blackmagickwords]

my favorite book

my fingers search your skintrying to find patterns in the cellsthe braille of you just beneath a librarian with the only editionI tremble at the privilegeand drink in every word there is to find oh, and then to be an author,the intent only to weave it to mineuntil it was as though they were only ever one

[blackmagickwords]

A Late Night

I don’t want to forgetthe way my heart skipped when I first saw you the way I followed you with my eyes,the nervousnessthat came when yougot close the freedom in your wordsthe confidence of your wantsand the courage I felt in the midst I want to always remember that first kissand the next,and the next

[blackmagickwords]

blending

I find home in wordsin the black and whiteand I swallow them wholeuntil I am fulland let the black and white spill outuntil I am gray

[blackmagickwords]

intrinsic ego

I was thinking about being found, and then I wondered why it seems to follow me through life and why it seems to mean so much to me. I’ve found connections from my father to myself. He’s always been so lost; trying to find himself in anything he thinks he can; from other people to different careers, and even drugs. I don’t admire how he’s gone about life but I do understand feeling lost. Out of…

[blackmagickwords]

I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.

We swap our vulnerabilities like salivaintense, awkward, and so wantedOur words rush over us like clammy handsUnsure of where to go, just wanting to be everywhere I press my words to your mouthAnd you swallow them, never looking awayYours press into me, fill me upI close my eyes to really feel it There’s desperation in the way we collideThe way we fit, and the way we don’tI think I love you in…

[blackmagickwords]

all for you.

one day my voice will cease my body will crumble and my chest will still these words will be here long past that and in the next life I hope you find them and remember they were for you

[blackmagickwords]

manifestation: kiss

I’ve conjured your kiss in my mindthe way your lips feeland the way my heart races If I could manifest you with thoughtyou would be here a hundred times over

[blackmagickwords]

growing up.

Feet pad softly on the grass, the bare skin leaving little impacts where it finds the dirt. We used to sit and pick at the ground, blow on puffed dandelions. Do you remember holding rolly-pollies? Rolling them gently in your hand before letting them go. Do you remember running with your face nearly split in two by your own grin? How long ago? Days that stretched long into the night but you were…

[blackmagickwords]

strength

white-knuckled, hands hold on so tightlynails cut through skinblood drips, but tears don’t what is strengthwhen it looks like a burden being carried quietly lips curl into a smilebut it doesn’t reach the eyes only the tired does

[blackmagickwords]

This Spring

I bit into April like a peachit wasn’t quite ripe, but the sour-sweetnesswas still refreshing I uncurled my fingers around the normaland let myself slide into the cool watersof something new I’m swimming now,it’s fun and fresh and coolI like the feel of it around my skin already though, my arms are getting tiredand I’m looking for land to pull myself up onand rest

[blackmagickwords]

forever and ever

I don’t remember how it started. I don’t know how it will end. All there is, is stretched out and condensed all at the same time. Ten years ago feels both like just ten minutes, and also a lot like forever. In this forever, some of us reach out to the corners, stretching as far as we can to get the most out of it. Some of us rest in it, not even caring about the wrinkles. And some of us like to…

[blackmagickwords]

eureka

we float around like fishlike dandelion wishesin the vast ocean oftime and experience our immediate connection seversand we float, alone, through lifeand like fish we find schools of friendsand like wishes, we wait we wait for the right timethe right placethe right momentuntil we realize there is no right timeor placeor momentthere’s only now until there isn’t

[blackmagickwords]

imbalanced

dipped like candlesin black waxsad waxthe kind of wax that will take over but, maybe that’s not what wax ismaybe that’s not what it doesdipped in sporesblack spores until the mold covers your every inchand you can’t bleach it offyou can’t bleach it deadyou just are spores.

[blackmagickwords]

ubiquitous; but lost

so soft her skin,like velvet or silkand so does she,too,drip between my fingersdown on the floor,beneath that,too she doesn’t puddle,but only continues to slipuntil the other sideshe findsshe’s manifestedlike a frozen mold with aching wonderher eyes do trace the outlineof the world around herand her feet moveone in front of the other,too

[blackmagickwords]

refuge.

part your lipsso that mine might fill the spaceslay your worry in my handsso I might carry your burdens for a while your brow which you furrow and steadymight it soften and meltunder my soothing fingersand beneath my softest kiss the world, though it seems to hold to your shouldershas pockets of ease and delight,might I guide you there with twined handsand sleepy wonder as your eyes close and…