bewarethelocust

[bewarethelocust]

I wrote this for class and my teacher & classmates didn't get it (they thought it was about robots) so I'm posting it here

Mimic

I don't think I'm human.

Other people think I am, at least at first, but when they get too close they realize something is wrong and leave quickly. I try to mimic them, but it's imperfect. Even the smallest mistake makes them suspicious. I live in fear that they will find out I'm not one of them.

Then one day things change. I meed a girl, like no one I've ever met. Around her, I find I don't have to pretend to be human.

One day the truth spills out. I expect her to hate me, but instead she laughs. "It's okay. I'm not human either."

[bewarethelocust]

wouldn’t it be funny if i died lol

[bewarethelocust]

i hate it when i open up a very little bit, and when i decide that im done talking, someone tries to press the subject and try to “help me.”

can you shut the fuck up?

i stopped talking and told you i was okay cause i don’t want to talk about it anymore

if i tell you im fine then im fucking fine.

leave me alone.

[bewarethelocust]

i think the reasons i don’t eat very often are

1. i can’t be bothered enough to take care of myself majority of the time

2. i enjoy feeling like someone cares. i don’t eat in hopes that someone will tell me to because they care about me. days that im alone with my dad, i dont eat, days that my mom is home, i do. because my mom cares and my dad doesn’t.

3. i don’t think i deserve to eat.

[bewarethelocust]

sometimes i wish i had more trauma

or that the trauma i do have bothered me more than it does

because the stuff that bothers me is always something that i can’t make myself stop thinking about

like how im going to die one day

that’s the hard truth of it

time never stops moving

and one day everyone i love will die

and i will too

i try to tell myself it’s okay

but it’s not

it’s not okay and it won’t ever be

i can’t make myself feel better or stop thinking about it by just telling myself that “my trauma doesn’t define me”

no this defines me

this defines every single action i take

every action is dependent on whether it will or could kill me or not

cause sometimes i really don’t want to die

and other times i want nothing more

[bewarethelocust]

ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be a weird & unsettling teenage boy

[bewarethelocust]

tic attack. i think.

make it stop.

it’s different from the others and i don’t understand.

how would i be able to tell anyone?

i don’t talk to my dad.

my mom won’t believe me.

my brother would make fun of me.

my older siblings aren’t close with me.

i’m scared and it hurts and i don’t understand.

[bewarethelocust]

lesbians love and support our trans sisters 💖💖

[bewarethelocust]

i did not mean to post this on this acc lol but yay :))

Science experiment: Moots describe me as detailed as you can I wanna see smth

[bewarethelocust]

cute and silly and goofy chinese autistic person who kind of scares me sometimes but is actually just super smart and interesting that i don’t understand half the stuff they say, super super chill guy who’s usually more cool than chill and wears cool clothes and makes me smile a lot lmao and they’re really weird but so am i so i can’t judge lmao besides weird is cool a lot of the time

Science experiment: Moots describe me as detailed as you can I wanna see smth

[bewarethelocust]

slice slash

[bewarethelocust]

i hate new years

[bewarethelocust]

you try too hard to be different from everyone else because you were always compared to other people growing up and it affected you more than you let on.

there’s nothing wrong with having similarities, but you don’t want those similarities to take away from who you are just because you have something in common with another person.

you crave attention, you like it when people see you as different or weird because it makes you feel special. You think that being different means being unique means being special. you want people to see you and think you’re weird, in a good way. you want attention, you want validation, and you want to be seen as a real person. you don’t want to be compared to anyone else because you don’t want it to take away from who you are.

you need someone to see you for who you are and not for who you try to be.

[bewarethelocust]

gonna do something i’ll definitely regret.

[bewarethelocust]

MARCEL STFU

[bewarethelocust]

my mutuals don’t message me but the last person that messaged me in general was a pedophile soooo i’m gonna go with noo… lmao

Would you be able to raise a child with your last messaged Tumblr mutual if they had gotten you preagnent?

[bewarethelocust]

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

do you truly believe you deserve happiness?