awisekrakens

[awisekrakens]

god damn this is a QUILT ('late day shadows' by nancy messier)

[awisekrakens]

yes but here's the deal: I don't like money. I would preferably never think of it again, but that's not something that can realistically happen.

1k/day just appearing in my bank account like a glitch? guaranteed by the many money gods to continue for the rest of my life, forever and ever amen? fucking yes, thank you, what shrine should I pray at in thanks. in no world without hyperinflation will I ever need more than 365k (or 366k in a leap year), especially after the first year or two, and I can fuck around with what I don't immediately use without penalty. if I want more, all I have to do is be patient, and I'm great at that.

achieving a higher personal best is, to me, not worth the stress of managing it or dealing with all the people who are trying to cheat me out of it, because I don't care about high scores in the first place. next to the 1k/day, the lump sum is a low risk/no reward situation. personally, I'll take no risk/low reward.

sorry for getting so heated about this financial literacy thing, it's just rare to see tumblr users as a whole so overwhelmingly wrong about something with an OBJECTIVELY correct answer. and im using "objectively" here as defined in the dictionary, not a hyperbole. like you can pull out a calculator and mathematically show that the lump sum is better in literally every way. and people still pick the daily payments based off of... vibes i guess? im genuinely depressed reading through the notes and seeing people justify their financial illiteracy

[awisekrakens]

for when the tv knitting needs to be a shape, I have been referring back to this pdf for years for basic garter stuff. also handy when designing your own lace rot 😊

[awisekrakens]

[awisekrakens]

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

[awisekrakens]

With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.

Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)

You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯

The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)

You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))

This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D

Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪

Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.

If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O

I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)

Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ

Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.

If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.

[awisekrakens]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[awisekrakens]

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

[awisekrakens]

i cant stop fucking laughing

[awisekrakens]

[awisekrakens]

you'll never be punk yr clothes are from shein and yr makeup is from tiktok

[awisekrakens]

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

[awisekrakens]

Taking jesters out of government was the biggest mistake we ever made. Every single person in any position of power should be followed around by someone who’s job is to insultingly point out the flaws in every single thing they say and do.

[awisekrakens]

The Worst Attraction in Every State

[awisekrakens]

Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

[awisekrakens]

The really funny thing about Data playing poker with the rest of the senior staff is that, like... with the way his brain works he's constantly aware of numbers and calculating probability but he would also know that counting cards is against the rules so does he just try to ignore it. Does he pretend not to. Can he like actively choose to discard that information as it comes in so he just forgets every .005 seconds

[awisekrakens]