aventylittleshit

[aventylittleshit]

There should be a kid friendly version of not being sober. Because idk if I'm gonna survive the next few days without my brain being not here. I'm not even sure if I'm gonna survive today anymore

[aventylittleshit]

A competent shooter could do the funniest fucking thing rn

[aventylittleshit]

Feel free to kill me for this but casual reminder that not everyone has money. Not everyone can donate to things. Not being able to provide for others when you can't provide for yourself is NOT a moral failing.

[aventylittleshit]

I feel like I'm gonna have a breakdown

And I say that even though I'm already having one lmao

Everything feels like it's crashing down in one way or another. Which is really fucking funny because everything is getting better for almost everyone else in my family.

I wanna vent about things in detail but it's just. Everything. Including things I did to myself in all honesty. Not extremely harmful things but even things that SHOULD be harmless but they just. Aren't.

I don't even feel suicidal. I just feel like I'm going to explode.

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone

[aventylittleshit]

I'm getting kinda scared that no one actually cares about me lmao

I could be gone for hours but nope! No response! Not a fucking peep!

[aventylittleshit]

My least favorite part of having HPD is that sometimes it feels like everyone is actively ignoring me. I literally just mentioned that I could've gotten killed a year ago why are you moving on so easily to talk to someone else--

[aventylittleshit]

Why do I feel so dysphoric about being skinny. I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm not supposed to feel weight dysphoria, I'm the thing people starve to be. I shouldn't feel uncomfortable about my body at all.

And yet I am.

I don't even know what to do.

[aventylittleshit]

Sometimes I wanna break my body so that it could be easier to call myself disabled without questioning it or feeling like a baby. I know I'm in pain half the time, but I need to be in pain 100% of the time so that no one can call me an able-bodied person. Including myself.