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EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

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I copy pasted parts of this but I do hand letter everything, because while I'm trying to work easier as I'm chronically ill, I am still chronically stupid

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friends roman’s and fellow countrymen i need help

for years and years and years my great aunt made a cheese cake for easter. but it was no ordinary cheesecake. it was a no bake farmers cheese cheese cake that was wrapped in cheese cloth and put in the fridge and had like some kind of nuts and also those gummy fruit things in it. the recipe does not exist. but i know it’s eastern european. and i want to eat this cake. but i cannot find it anywhere on line, every comparable recipe is a baked one. have any of you heard of this??? can anyone send me anything that might be useful?????? please??????????

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ino hc

so. I doubt she'd ever admit this under normal circumstances, but she thinks of her two teammates like rocks. like, something stable to balance her out. choji is always very kind and sees the best in people, and as ino grows older she realizes such. she's glad to be his friend. and shikamaru? forever just thinking about how she especially sees him like her rock, because when she lost her father? he was the only one who could understand exactly how she felt. when they all lost asuma together and leaned on one another.

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Naruto Modern AUs

Modern AUs of Naruto plague my brain.

Mafia? Every Clan is a mafia family and civilians are police. Uzumaki were destroyed via Gang War. The Sabaku siblings are part of a different mafia family based in another city. The Hokage is the DA of police/military.

High School? Rich kid school that only accept Naruto (orphan, has terrible grades) because his uber wealthy mother (again, Clans = Old Money) put it in her will. Her family founded Konoha High? You're going to deny that? Sakura's parents spend a lot of money to ensure she gets the best education and she's on a partial scholarship.

Similar thing with University aus that keep me up at night, although those are easier to handle. Personally.

Flower shop is exclusively the Yamanaka Clans. Sorry, I don't make the rules and it's usually tied in with the Mafia somehow.

Spies is a weird one where they're trying to prevent a number of issues but the information broker will always be Yamanaka Ino.

Idol/Actor/famous AU - bunch of Nepo Babies and Sakura.

etc, etc.

In every single one, the Yamanaka family knows everything. It's terrible and they are terrifying, but Shikamaru and Choji have just figured out how to roll with the punches.

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The way that a Yamanaka behaves seems rehearsed. Like something has possessed them and is controlling them like a puppet. They only slightly understand how to move. Their conversations are stilted. They walk too loudly. No matter their expression, they look off. It’s like staring at an alien or a strange imitation that only a demon would think passes as ‘normal’. You cannot invade their minds. Genjutsu is useless. They struggle with their bodies so the easiest way to kill them is to just go for the jugular.

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When using shadows, the Nara Clan looks atrophied. Shadows curl in their arms and their chest and their cheeks, giving them the look of a grotesque monster starving and as they stare at you with an ancient hunger, older than chakra or humans or bones or life itself trying to consume the world and revert it back into Something From Long Ago That Should Stay Dead and yet is commanded by a Genius. Their eyes are impossibly dark, shadows sucking all the light as they trap you in shadows that only existed under your bed or in your closet or at the Beginning Of Time.

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The Akimichi Clan’s bones are impossibly brittle. They break and snap, elongate and shrink on command. They worship the concept of Death. They do not dream of the afterlife or second life. This is your one life and so you must do everything and anything to make it okay so you have to break your bones and stretch your skin and muscles and destroy everything about yourself to keep living.

They do not live past 40.

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Ino will definitely kill someone with a crowbar. It's not a matter of how but when.

Asuma probably because Choji and Shikamaru are always down for murder.

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so what does konoha do when it comes to crimes within the village?

Keep reading

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"If Ino is a card game she would be the "cards against shinobi"

-Shikamaru Nara

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I have read that the archetype characters in naruto is consist of a jesus (naruto,jiraiya,obito), judas (sasuke, orochimaru, kakashi) and mary (sakura, tsunade, rin). But when it comes to Team Asuma the dynamics are different. Shikamaru is the Jesus archetype, Ino is the Judas archetype and Chouji is the Mary archetype (Because he is the true heart and strength of the team). And it is so intriguing.

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Did anyone else remember that the Hyuga Clan is descended from the Sage's brother who's stuck on the moon?

I just remember it while going through some Clan Headcanons and I'm like OH YEAH! The Hyuga Clan and Uchiha Clan aren't descendants of Indra who branched off and evolved differently.

This is CANON. Which is the wildest part of it all.

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Assorted #8

In Konohagakure, there are 3 types of Ninja. Clan, Civilian, and Civilian Clan Ninja.

Clan Ninjas are really rigid and have a lot of unspoken rules of propriety. They are extreme lightweights and can't drink coffee without Side Effects occurring. Typically (exceptions may apply) living with their families, they have very specific diets that won't cause any issues in the long run.

The Inuzuka Clan can't really eat vegetables. Shino nearly faints when he finds out that Kiba has never see lettuce because that's a huge staple of the Aburame Clan.

Civilian Ninja are 'rowdy' and 'rough'. They can generally eat everything safe for humans and live in either the civilian or ninja districts. They drink coffee, eat deep fried food, etc.. No Clan Ninjas can truly drink coffee or have whiskey, despite Kakashi desperate attempts when he was a chunin.

There are a few 'Civilian Clans' (Uzumaki, Lee, Sarutobi, Yamanaka) where they can eat normal food and drink coffee but they can't handle alcohol.

The exception to all these rules is the Akimichi Clan who can consume Anything with no side effects whatsoever. This includes rotten flesh, although they don't exactly like the flavours or taste.

P.S. I have Feelings about the Sarutobi Clan. None are really good.

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Assorted #7

The Senju clan is a bunch of polygamists. Hashirama and Tobirama (and the rest of their siblings) have three dads, two moms, and a lot of aunties and uncles.

Hashirama only marrying one (1) person is wild in his clan of but he's content with Mito and their three kids. He's probably considered asexual by the Clan.

Tobirama never marries but has like 5 other people he lives with in the Senju Clan Compound and they have orgies fairly often.

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If Sasuke didn't leave Konoha, he would drink Japanese Vodka like it's water.

me to my friend who doesn’t know anything about Naruto except that I really like Yamanaka Ino and like writing feral fics.

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Assorted #6

Minato has dimples. Kushina has freckles (like most redheads).

Naruto has dimples and freckles.

Ino has neither (the Yamanaka pride a smooth, unblemished face above all else and Ino Is Yamanaka Beauty Standard) but her children generally have dimples. So Inojin has dimples.