angelica-romanticaa

[angelica-romanticaa]

Why is it I never seem to be first choice?

Not when I sing my love and need in my voice

And still not even when I try deceive with composure and poise.

All I’ve ever done is scheme with a thousand attempts and ploys

And learnt to choose oh so carefully my friends, lovers and toys

Since it doesn’t do to give to just anyone your coins

It just drains you and makes you poorer with no returns in joys

So I’ve built walls for my heart and peace, an ultra-exclusive palace the size of a thousand Troys

And I convince myself that it doesn’t bother me, everyone else’s noise

And the way they pick my friends and would- and should-be lovers to enjoy

And that it doesn’t my heart, soul and ego destroy

Yet still on occasion my mind, my heart annoys

Because I sometimes let myself fall into believing I could be, and oh boy

The realization that I’m not always comes creating a disappointed aching metallic tasting alloy

Which to further fortify these weakened yet ever-thickening walls, I employ.

Maybe if I tear out my heartstrings and braid a noose

I could my ego and disappointment smother in an attempt at a truce

To forget the way without even trying everyone manages my sensitive heart to abuse

And how, even if she makes it so far, she never wins the deuce

To never expect anything more, everyone else I’ll just excuse

And to come to terms with the fact that I’ve always been easy from the heart and mind to cut loose.

[angelica-romanticaa]

Why'd you have to go and ruin the image I had of you like that?

Even if you never loved me, I'd still have held you in such high esteem, a real good man

But I see you for what you are now; you're not a man, but a boy

Who threw a tantrum, ολα παραπονα με εσενα, and broke the toy

Who loved him so

Who wouldn't have let him go

A toy because you played with me

Και την καρδιά μου η καλή

Αυτή την κούκλα την έσπασες και τα κομμάτια τα έχωσες στο πατάρι

Μα γιατί? Αφού σε είχα για μανάρι

Αλλά κατάλαβα, εν τέλη, είσαι αλήτης

Όπως είναι και εκείνη

[angelica-romanticaa]

But αγάπη, we could be an oasis To your double suns, I’ll be the moon golden since these create us Oh your eyes! My moon, those suns chase “us”  A desire so close, oh yes, those suns leave traces

[angelica-romanticaa]

I wonder what you’d say

If I had the courage, blind and wild, to be brave

Να σου πω όλα όσα η καρδιά μου για σένα λέει 

Αχ εξαιτίας σου my body, with my cold hands, shakes

I try to be poised, collected, but you’re putting me through my paces

Come on, I feel that maybe your heart though with faces

Is rearing, mine so close it chases

Just until I turn to see, like Orpheus

And then you play it nonchalant and your eyes, your heart with defences laces 

But αγάπη, we could be an oasis

To your double suns, I’ll be the moon golden since these create us

Oh your eyes!

My moon, those suns chase, “us” 

A desire so close, oh yes, those suns leave traces

[angelica-romanticaa]

I say semi-ironically 

“The man I’ll love is a very lucky man”

And you say so sincerely

“Yes, he is”

So sincerely 

It surprised me

Made my mind wonder endlessly 

What that could mean

I know what I’d like to believe 

So, I ask hypothetically 

How you’d save me, if at all you’d rescue me 

And you say so seriously

An answer so well thought out, forged maybe

How save me you would and forcefully

Didn’t even grace the idea of leaving me

No, you’d save me 

With power and force moving the earth and sky so gracefully

[angelica-romanticaa]

II

But in the backseat of your mind, she’s seizing 

It’s cold and she so easily succumbs to freezing

You know this so why are you still glances from her stealing

Collecting them and in my rib cage them sealing

That makes her heavier and has her heartstrings weakening

Oh I fear to my heart you are more wonderfully destructive than you are healing

[angelica-romanticaa]

I

I’m so wonderstruck I might stop breathing

So obviously when I see you with her it has me seething

I’m not about to swoon with no good reasoning 

I don’t want to at least though I don’t seem to have a say, it’s a feeling

The angels seem to like in me, discreetly since I don’t like revealing

The way so easily you have the romantic in me reeling

And with abundant poetry bleeding 

From every crack in this heart you’re commandeering 

[angelica-romanticaa]

“Anyway I basically didn’t sleep at all last night” I start

And oh my heart

You had the audacity to breathe out a chuckle at that in that dive bar 

And I had the naivety to smile back because no one else knew why

That was our little secret in the crowded room, like letting out a freeing sigh

That I cared so much about you and us that I asked and I wanted to try

That I’d confessed it all to you, raw in my vulnerability 

Described the jagged edges από κάθε εύθραυστο κομμάτι της καρδιάς μου, η σπασμένη

Each angle, each sheered curve και πως της έγινε, η καημένη 

I showed you her configuration shattered on the floor

I hoped against hope that you’d give the simple care and consideration I’d asked for

You looked with an upturned nose, 

    considered with a mind already made up

       My words banging on closed ear drums

         Then you regarded me before you strutted out the door 

Your lips reassured, insisted even, lies effortlessly from your lips tore

while you took care to tread on the pieces to shatter them more

[angelica-romanticaa]

You were never good for my heart

No, I may have denied it vehemently

But she knew you were trouble from the start 

I won’t insult my instinct, won’t it betray again

For it has proven time and time again

To be as wise as sages ten 

Oh how the body screams what the mind won’t admit

For when your name at my tongue and mind bit

My heart would start with palpitations against my rib cage to hit

As though, like a child, she were throwing a fit

Και πονούσε but butterflies can bite too, isn’t it?  

Oh, if it were butterflies, I now see they were necrotic 

So I wonder what it was in me that wanted you so

Η λογική ποτέ δεν ήταν ο δικός μου σημαιοφόρος

Άρα it must have been my heart, my masochism’s abode

And I see he must have arranged the sinew and strings to be his own

So now she seems to believe that in pain and adversity she does thrive and grow

She prevails only under the thumb of a lover who’s in reality a foe

Maybe she does the sting crave, ο πόνος ανυπόφορος

Ίσως κάτι άλλο σου ζητούσε, απορώ  

Ίσως να την απευαισθητοποιήσεις εσύ ρε παλιόπαιδο 

[angelica-romanticaa]

This Game We Play

I adore and hate this game we play

I can’t decide if with me you play 

Or if my heart has just become your prey

I also can’t decide if it’s monopoly or poker, ruthless and untame

Though I’m leaning to the latter, good grace

Because I’ve mastered the poker face 

I’m bluffing and sometimes I’m convinced you are too, sweet face

Other times it feels like I’m at your mercy, that you have every ace

Because you look at me in your charming way

And I try so hard a Vougiouklaki charm to portray 

But I blush instead of bluff 

And I’m sure that this is enough

Enough for you to know you’ve won and I a gamblers cuff

Brandish since it’s tough

For a romantic like me

To pretend you haven’t enchanted me

To hold my cards to my chest since my eyes speak poetry

Like drops of Venus in the chalice of the page of cups, offered like wine in tea

Oh so surreptitiously 

Just like the way I tempt the game λίγο πιο πολύ 

Since competition, κι ας μην με συμπαθεί

Is second nature to me

So raise the stakes 

And the ferry man I’ll pay 

Όταν σε σένα χάσω και με πεθάνεις τελικά

[angelica-romanticaa]

I gave you the keys

To the getaway car, I said "please

If you want to leave, leave"

You looked at me then the keys in your palm, insisted, "κόρη

Τι λες ρε, this doesn't change us, είμαστε φίλοι"

Έχει πλάκα ψέματα να λες, ρε αγόρι?

Αφού ειλικρινά δεν σε καταλαβαίνω και αυτή την λογική

I told you to leave

You insisted οτι θελεις να μενεις, but you kept the keys...

Τόσο εύκολα νόμιζες θα μπορούσες να με ξεγελάσεις?

Yet still in good faith γύρισα μία στιγμή

Και στην πλάτη μου κάρφωσες το κλειδί

Προτού έτρεξες στην πόρτα και σε εκείνη

With the keys in the ignition still bleeding

You twisted it and drove off recklessly

Σαν το ηλίθιο αγοράκι που είσαι, ρε αγόρι

Unsurprising, since on the best of times you drive poorly

for a while every time I'd see you, έκλαιγε η πληγή

But now for you, I flood with pity

Αφού αλεξίσφαιρο είναι το σημάδι

Now I see you for what you are, αγόρι

Και κατα βάθος το ξέρεις

Because just like when you took those keys

Τώρα στα μάτια να με κοιτάξεις, δεν μπορείς.

~ Aggeliki