anasgirl2d

[anasgirl2d]

I don’t understand why you stopped caring about us. I feel like a side character in your life like our story doesn’t matter that much to you, like it’s only here for appearances and if it is please just tell me so I can leave and finally move on and have closure. I’m scared cause if I tell you you’ll deny it and say “you still love me”, “you’re just distracted with work” and hey I get that cause you work long days but idk I guess I just wish I could feel like you need me like I need you. But hey that’s not up to me I can’t make you act anyway I can just be here and hope you let me go one of these times if you’re just gonna keep hurting me. I really hope you do that or you realize you’re hurting me and pushing me to my brink. I promised myself I’d never let myself get back here. I promised I’d never feel this way again. I don’t want to break my promise. So please just please let me go or love me…

[anasgirl2d]

Life with Ana is a roller coaster sometimes you push her down and you win other times...

She wins with her cruel words that cut like daggers against delicate skin, her presence is a weight you can never escape, her voice is the soothing tone after you’ve lost those few pounds, but then she’s back with the screaming and terrorizing of your mind, she doesn’t want you to be comfortable, she wants you to suffer...

But the worst part is when you think you deserve to suffer with her by your side for eternity.

[anasgirl2d]

Her curse

Her blessing

I won’t let you hold me forever

Her lies

Her hate

I will fight back for myself

My release

My cure

I will find a way to be happy

My fight

My struggle

I will find a way to love myself

Her darkness

Her pain

I won’t be perfect and that’s okay

My voice

My strength

I will understand I am who I am

My victory

My path

I will always suffer with her by my side but I don’t have to let her lead the way or define who I am and how I live my life.

[anasgirl2d]

It’s 2021 and I met someone amazing in 2019 who surprisingly was and is the only person who’s been able to get through my mind and really help with ana he makes me feel beautiful in my body and I’ve gotten to the point in my healing where I love my body I did reach my goal in the earlier half of 2020 and then spent the rest of the year trying to gain weight I had reached 86.8 lbs at one point without meaning to so I set myself on a journey of getting my mind and body back used to eating regularly I still find it hard to eat three meals a day and usually only eat two with snacks throughout the day I’m now around 96 lbs and am extremely happy with myself. I just want anyone who reads this to know although you don’t see yourself as beautiful someone will and they’ll show you how they see you and your eyes will be opened truly.

[anasgirl2d]

I relate hard core

[anasgirl2d]

• silent workout •

these workouts you can do at night to get rid of that fat that just never goes away

{ How to get rid of your Flabby Stomach }

- 20 crunches

- 35 sit-ups

- 10 full body crunches

- 50 crisscross crunches

- 10 wide leg cross sit-ups

- 20 leg raises

~ How to get rid of your jello thighs ~

- 100 pillow squeezes

- 30 side leg lifts ( each side )

|| How to get a nice ass ||

- 40 butt bridges

- 25 lying kick backs ( each side )

- 50 clam lifts ( each side )

- 20 forward kicks ( each side )

- 30 knee tucks ( each side )

repeat each 2-3 times ❤️

[anasgirl2d]

I guess body check I’m at 97 pounds wasn’t trying to lose but I did so yay?

[anasgirl2d]

An aesthetic? Probably not

[anasgirl2d]

[anasgirl2d]

Personal pictures again body check 102 lbs

[anasgirl2d]

This is relatable

Someone: I am starving lolol, want to go grab a bite to eat?

Me: No thanks, I had a big lunch..

Someone: Ooh, what'd you have?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: I gotta go

[anasgirl2d]

Pain is beauty they said; they never said how extreme the pain was

[anasgirl2d]

I can’t wait for the summer when I can wear my cute new bathing suits to the lake

[anasgirl2d]

Learning to love my body

[anasgirl2d]

Thinspo of me wtf never thought I’d find a picture worthy of being thinspo of my own body

[anasgirl2d]

Forever ago

I’ve always been insecure even when I was younger and it didn’t help that I knew I wasn’t normal I had multiple personality disorder and depression and I had a little gender dysmorphia as a child and the fact I always hungout with guys and was super short and super skinny never had long hair I wasn’t a regular girl and I got bullied for this and as I got older I came to love my multiple personalities and accepted how I always had a little twinge that this body wasn’t meant for me but grew to love being a girl but of course as I got older I developed crushes and whenever these boys would find out they would say things like “gross she likes me she’s so ugly” “haha like I’d ever like a fat girl” (I WASNT FAT) even “why would I like such an ugly fag it grossed me out to know she even liked me” see as people said these things I started hearing a voice (ana) telling me how I could get back at them how I could make them pay for what they were saying that voice got louder each day and soon I was restricting extremely I was on the worse side of ana I would not eat at all and if I did I would burn off those calories and more so I would have negative calories I was always dizzy and I’m a dancer so I need energy but multiple times I would almost pass out in dance because I had not eaten anything for days but then I met an amazing guy who started helping me get better he made me feel beautiful in the body I was in and I loved this guy we just recently broke up I still love him and he says he still wants to be with me but he can’t be in a relationship right now so I’m in a difficult position without him ana is moving back in but he’s still my friend we talk every day from morning to night and he is still helping me get better but he’s not watching me the same way I never eat breakfast I don’t eat lunch I eat supper with my family but then I don’t eat for the rest of the night except for little snacks to tide me through but even then it’s mostly water he doesn’t want me to get worse because he doesn’t want to lose me and every time I meet his eyes I feel guilty for being this way and I feel truly beautiful he is my curse and my blessing I’m grateful for him but I always wonder is the care from him and my friends enough to make me better I might never know

[anasgirl2d]

🍃🍁Binge-Free Fall 2017 Challenge☁️🍂

Winter bodies are made in the Fall.

September 22- December 21

Who wants it the most?