an-anodyne-constellation

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brain is now broken in a New And More Intense Way but im mostly chilling how about you

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starting the new year in a kiel arc. may god have mercy on our souls

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crazy to read ulysses and have one of my alters be like "oh, that guy, Stephen, he's me." not like in a fictive sense but in a. "yeah that's my bit." a new kinda way. dogsbody coded alter. alter becoming a featherbed mountain. alter concerned with the ineluctable modality of the visible. "i am also a highly intellectual young boy who is regularly accused of being a sociopath" ok thanks buddy

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are you tired? are you overwhelmed? are you sick of always being the one fronting?

well bOY do i have the solution for you!!

for the low low price of your sanity and little remaining memory, you too could have *explosion sound effect* THREE HOSTS AT ONCE!!!!

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when the alter that responds to crises is frontstuck so after the crisis it just finds ways to generate more crises and you're learning new things about how cortisol works

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this is easy. if it's literature, you want mass market paperback no question. if it's an academic book, you want trade paperback or hardcover. i want to be able to carry around literature, beat it up, etc. and i want to be able to annotate in the margins of academic books. ofc some books have their own thing going on, i wouldn't trade what Nox or House of Leaves is doing for any other format, it wouldn't even be the same book

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Met some new people recently. We were casually talking about mental health stuff when one of them mentioned believing they had "people in [their] head" for a few years. And then another one mentioned experiencing the same thing for about a month! Not to mention the way they talked about it, as something outside the norm but still just A Thing they saw as just kinda happening to people sometimes. We were just sitting there as they discussed this, wondering if we should bring up the fact that we had and continue to have people in our head for basically our entire life. It was. A mix of awkward and exciting, as one might imagine!

I don't have any grand takeaway from this experience, and I didn't have enough social standing with them to ask about what they went through more in-depth. But if there is anything that I came away from that conversation thinking, it's that there may be more people out there who go through plural-adjacent experiences out there than we think – especially when it comes to those who go through these experiences for a short time. So much of plural and related neurodivergent discussion is centered around long-term things – and in some cases, this is warranted, but in others, I wonder if this heavy focus has left some people out of the conversation who could otherwise offer their insight and stories to the community. This especially goes for those who figure out they're incorrect about their initial suspicions of what's going on in their head; even if someone is wrong about fitting something in particular, something drew them to that thing in the first place, and that story in itself deserves to be told.

It's just something to think about, I guess. I hope in the future, as plurality becomes more well-known, we'll be able to be there for those who may fall into these adjacent experiences.

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nothing that stimulant medication and a coffee and an energy drink and a bump of coke and a good hard slap in the face and seven years in the harsh wilderness and a hug from a friend and a firm prostate milking and 250mg of MDMA crystals and a top of the line gaming PC and a tall glass of water and a distant memory of summer and piano lessons and four 20mg edibles and a sword that hungers for human blood and a well socialized tuxedo cat and a sushi dinner and a leather jacket and a power nap and a single beautiful rod of depleted uranium and regular estradiol injections and a typewritten sheet of paper bearing the solution to the hard problem of consciousness and nipple clamps and a lobotomy and a gun and another coffee can't fix

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Daily life as an autistic/ADHD system!

8:30am-9:30am: i forgor 9:30am-11am: i forgor 11am-1pm: breakfast 1pm-3pm: i forgor 3pm-5pm: i forgor 5pm-9pm: i forgor 9pm-11:40pm (bedtime): gay

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*hanging out with a friend i haven't seen in a week* okay so then [WHIM] manifested and talked with Tamsin—wait, do you know their lore yet? Neither of them? Ok so Tamsin i—

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(greeting someone u care for deeply)  well well well… look who crawled out of the primordial FILTH

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i’d be an awful person to ask for advice on telling if you’re plural cuz i’d just say “you can do whatever you want forever” which answers nothing but encourages a lot

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i be in my own head fighting for my life

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the ocean, mostly, with the occasional smell of burnt electronics when the wind blows the right way

what does your blog smell like? (idea from @constantlymisgendered <3)

i think mine’s scent would be cinnamon and cigarette smoke <333

tagging @bambibells @constantlymisgendered @lanadelreys-middle-child @lizzygrantsangel @izzy444angel @rosyclouds22 @actuallyblonde-xo @monothenightmare @dark-nymph3t @emlovier @arabellasthunderstorm @queen-of-heartbreak24 @lu-luvslestat @delusions-inpink @angelicgirl444 @strwbryxluvs @lanascinnamongirl777 (no pressure <3)

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my hobbies? uhh.. peeling back the layers…. uncovering metaphors.. mirroring…..connecting dots…..stuff like that

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i know this is sarcastic but its p much right. "non traumagenetic identity" is an oxymoron. nobody, plural or singlet, has an identity that forms without trauma, that's just what an identity is. the discourse is so frustrating because nobody does any work to know what trauma is. the anti-endos nor the discoursing endos actually start w/ an analysis of trauma which is why the obvious view (trauma is universal, nobody is not traumatized in some respects) doesn't come forward. not to do my "read freud" bit but... everybody should read some freud

What is the deal with these so-called non-traumagenic singlets? Like, how does that even happen?

I totally get that people can become singlets if they get a bag of rocks dropped on their head when they're 4! And how that would prevent the brain from being able to properly develop into a full system!

But if that never happened to them, then what even is the point of being just 1 consciousness?!? Why would your brain just do that for no reason?? Make it make sense!

/s

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Who's fronting? Uhm.. Yes.