alsethwisson

[alsethwisson]

Nothing pains me just as badly as people here parroting obvious russophobic propaganda without an ounce of effort to analyse it or at least to understand that if what they are saying about Russia was said about pretty much any other nation they would be rightfully called out for racism and cultural posturing.

Especially prominent since Israel has started its openly genocidal campaign.

[alsethwisson]

Okay, now I have a definitive Gil-Galad hc

Let me tell you a brief history of Elrond as a character.

First, he writes Elrond as an elven king of half-human ancestry. But he wants to emphasise his humanity more. Therefore, the character of Elrond "undergoes fission" and becomes two characters: an Elven king, Gil-Galad, and a Human king, loremaster Elrond.

Elrond the Human King goes on to found Numenor and, well, die, but Tolkien used him as a stand-in in that little fairy-tale of his he also used Thingol for, nothing important...

...yeah, that was Hobbit and soon the need arose to reconcile the "Elrond is dead" and "Elrond is alive" narratives.

Lo and behold, another fission! Now it's Elrond-alive, the loremaster, and Elros-dead, the king. And they are twins.

Now, my revolutionary idea!

Let Gil-Galad be the third triplet! It would be true to his textual history, it brilliantly explains why he is a king for both Iathrim and Noldor AND why Elrond is his heir... and also he has a proper Thingolian name: Ellach.

He just uses it Noldor-style, as Finwe Ellach (like Finwe Nolofinwe or Finwe Arafinwe), or in Sindarin - Finellach.

[alsethwisson]

My weird Ainur headcanons, pt2

Manwe is Gandalf, and Gandalf is Manwe. I mean, "I am also a steward"? He's not even trying.

Also, Manwe is not, and never has been, a mellow calm guy. His was the power to end his brother's work (as per Tolkien's notes); he is the lord of winds, not still weather. I mean, he's the guy who spends time sitting on a top of the highest mountain with his equally weird and powerful wife, the guy who invented song and dance. He's pretty much Shiva! If he's not destroying everything, it's because he doesn't want to!

Ages have worn him down, mostly because he had to do nothing but mend what his brother had broken; his creative expression thus stifled, he found being Gandalf a great way to unwind and have fun.

Gandalf was his second, more direct way of interfering in the affairs of Middle-Earth. In the First Age he used a cloud illusion of an elven lord, called Gwaewen. Unlike Gandalf, Gwaewen was more of a puppet and Manwe himself remained in Valinor. Also unlike Gandalf, there were multiple Gwaewens. He tried to offer counsel to the Noldor, but was mostly ignored; then he tried to guide Sindar and was marginally more successful.

He has a red mantle made by Vaire. It's embroidered with birds in golden thread; all the birds in the world.

If Manwe is Chaos, as is Manwe's dearest friend Ulmo, then Varda is Order. She chose Manwe precisely because, chaotic as he was, he had respect for ordered things and understood their necessity. Unlike certain someone who saw any attempt at planning as unforgivable.

If Manwe is all about interfering directly, but in mundane ways (counsel, maybe a helping hand) Varda is about overseeing from the above and providing miracles if called for. She is the only one allowed power over the world beyond Aman even after the Fall of Numenor - precisely for that reason.

Her best friend is Mandos, as they have a lot in common and understand each other perfectly. That is precisely why they've never been in love with each other, though; both sought someone who would compliment them, not their mirror image.

She is a solitary person and spends a lot of time simply gazing at Middle-Earth and hoping someone calls for her help, especially after losing her son Fionwe Ilveran, captured and tortured by Morgoth. Elves respect her for being ready to help, but they mostly socialise with Manwe.

In reality, it's Varda who bears the functions of Taro (King): namely, lawgiving, judging, overseeing, warfare etc. Manwe has assumed the functions of her Tari (Queen): counsel, socialising, talking to God. In their eyes and the eyes of Elves they're equal.

[alsethwisson]

Do you have a truly weird hc that refuses to go away?

Like, you know it's not like that in-canon, but the hc just won't leave your head.

When I was young, there was no access to HoME, so I've always imagined Feanor as red-haired, for example.

Another one is gay Daemon I Blackfyre, heh.

[alsethwisson]

On Palantiri

There are offensive fanons. Problematic fanons.

And then there are godawful stupid fanons.

And one of those is that fandom at large tends to consider Palantiri something akin to magic smartphones.

You know, those magic stones that allow you to see past and maybe future and survey all the mortal lands. That are interconnected and can be used to contact each other but said contact is in no way their main function.

[alsethwisson]

Turgon: And his arms bound. Sound off is not enough, he'll invent sign language out of sheer spite.

Nerdanel: Yes, he was such a good boy when he was all bound... and gagged...

Curufin: Ingo, you asked me, why we were afraid of our parents showing affection. Now you know.

Finrod: But, you must agree, your father WAS better bound and gagged!

Curufin: ...

Curufin: No, not bound. Gagged and chained to his anvil, with his worktable in reach. That would've been optimal solution.

Nerdanel: It would, but we had to make you all somehow, silly!

Pengolodh: Feanor was a key player in much of the early history if the Eldar

Pengolodh: He sucked but he was great

Pengolodh: But he also mostly sucked. But he was kinda great

Pengolodh:

Pengolodh: He was good with the sound off

[alsethwisson]

Fandom: Turgon is a kinslayer for ordering Eol's execution!

Also fandom: Eol is poor meow meow, nothing wrong with murdering his wife, she was most definitely racist.

*

Fandom: Turgon was a rampaging racist! He forced Ondotlim Sindar to speak Quenya!

Also fandom: Thingol is a horrible racist, the Noldor needed to teach all the Sindar Quenya, which is clearly a superior language.

*

Honestly, here lies madness.

[alsethwisson]

I mean, why nobody pictures Aegnor with his trademark anime hair?..

[alsethwisson]

My weird Ainur headcanons pt1

Gender (and sex) is for Ainur less of identity and more of personal taste. You like wearing skirts, I like wearing jeans, this sort of thing. Their identity is "genderless eldritch being" and our concept of gender is as alien to them as their whatever is to us.

Exception one: Yavanna really identifies as female, but it's a question of sex, not gender for her. She feels intimately connected to females of all species and their role as mothers. All her fanas are female, even a tree.

Exception two: Ulmo doesn't even bother to choose a single gender to present as. He's fluid, like water, ever changing. One moment he's an old man, then a child, than an elf-maid, and then he thinks someone is really being too hasty and turns into an ent.

Elves have no concept of nonbinary or transgender (they are, after all, beings in perfect harmony with their bodies), so they designated him male to create balance (7 valar, 7 valier). He didn't mind because he doesn't really care.

Ulmo has fallen in love with Nowe (Cirdan) even before Cirdan awoken. He saw a glimpse of him in the Third Theme. When he met him for real, Ulmo was kinda speechless and circled through forms, trying to choose the most beautiful and alluring. Cirdan laughed and thus broke the ice. Soon, they were inseparable.

I like the idea of Valarindi, so. Yes, there were children born to Valar. And to Maiar. And to descendants of Maiar. "Born" though is not exactly the right word; they are created, literally woven from pieces of their parents' souls. It requires a lot of time and patience, and severely drains both parents, especially if one of them is not an Ainu.

Orome was a kid of Yavanna and Aule, and the sole Valarindo who was actually _born_, not woven. That's why he's generally less "spiritual", just as his sister-wife Vana and their son Tulcas.

Caring for Orome (who was actually born and therefore had to grow up) was what made Aule yearn for more children and led him to the creation of dwarves.

Nienna chose to remain single so that her love would be shared equally between everything and everyone, not given to a single person. She is most like a nun in that respect; she could've found her special other, but decided not to look for.

In reality the Aratar are not as much about "who is the strongest", but "who is the most respected among elves". Since they have little use for Healing (Este) or Remembrance (Vaire), but delight in Hunt (Orome), we have the list we have.

[alsethwisson]

Oh, I don't say Thingol was unreasonable. I think he was merciful. Especially given that Angrod and Aegnor have, at least in some versions, escaped Helcaraxe and crossed the sea with the Feanorians.

Right after their relatives were slaughtered, yeah. Noice, right?

As a tangent, I don't get fandom hate towards "Galadriel and/or Finrod fought for the Teleri" idea found in later Tolkien's writings. It doesn't absolve them; they are still kinslayers - but it is more reasonable than them standing there doing nothing as their much closer kin is killed!

Thingol: Well, why didn't you tell me there was like a whole slaughter of my relatives in Alqualonde? Angrod: Hey, we had our reasons! But our house was fighting for the Teleri, not against them! Thingol: What?..

[alsethwisson]

I mean, at least for some time when Morgoth was already on parole, Turgon was still a kid or in his early teens.

Imagine Morgoth, in all his goth glory, hesitating when confronted with a middle-schooler...

it being canon that in valinor melkor's eye "lighted on" turgon and that anytime he approached him he got the sense that "from turgon ruin should come to him"... we as a society need to explore this concept more. melkor brazenly and confidently approaching every one of the noldor and getting them to fall into his charm without breaking a sweat. one day he's making his usual rounds looking for more elves to manipulate when his eyes fall on turgon standing some distance away, chatting with his friends. and for the first time when faced with an elf, melkor hesitates

[alsethwisson]

19 and 21 for Alcarinque?

-@outofangband

19. Alcarinque is the type who will silently bear with anything until they can't bear it any more and then they go KABOOM. Her major berserk button is disorder; people who make a mess and most importantly don't clean up that mess when told to... especially if said mess is anywhere near her darling BOOKS...

21. Her being a loremaster (she was Dirhawal's daughter with Evranin, a peredhel herself), she loves her libraries, and was personally involved with building and outfitting the Numenorian Royal Library. But other than that, she has a summerhouse in Emerie, where she goes to let her brain rest amid green hills and simple life.

[alsethwisson]

i wanted to make an oc ask game 😋 things i like to ask people abt their characters:

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

how crafty/resourceful are they?

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

favorite animal? why?

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

are they any good with numbers?

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

their favorite place to be?

do they sleep well at night?

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

do they smell like anything notable?

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

do they ever return home?

[alsethwisson]

The idea that those on Tol Eressea are not allowed to visit Valinor proper is purely fanon, by the way.

And in any way, it's tied to Tolkien's idea of "light burns evil". Valinor is not safe if you are not pure enough. Living on Tol Eressea allows acclimatisation.

i’ve never ignored a piece of canon more than i ignore the “the elves who return all live on tol eressëa” thing, because a) it fucking sucks, b) what makes the return to aman so beautiful is the possibility for reunion, for meetings between elves who haven’t met before, who’ve come back to life, etc., whereas the tol eressëa situation actively hinders that, and b) it’s confusing and paradoxical, because why would a re-embodied elf be allowed to live in aman proper, whereas an elf who happened to survive everything middle-earth threw at them and returned by boat would not be?

in MY book, the elves can live wherever the fuck they want, and there’s a lot of commuting and sea traffic between aman and tol eressëa

[alsethwisson]

Thingol: Well, why didn't you tell me there was like a whole slaughter of my relatives in Alqualonde? Angrod: Hey, we had our reasons! But our house was fighting for the Teleri, not against them! Thingol: What?..

[alsethwisson]

Stuff most people ignore about Middle-Earth

Bree-landers are at least partly Asian. They are descended from Bor's People.

Numenorians are VERY mixed-race, with only Hador's People being definitely white; Beor's people have dark skin, Haladin are black-coded, Drugh are closest to native Australians, and Bor's people are Asian.

Gondorians are dark-skinned, and their facial features (long curved nose, bushy eyebrows, dark deep-set eyes) most closely resemble Semitic people, like Jews or Arabs.

Same can be safely inferred for Arnor people: at least Aragorn's description ticks all the boxes.

Two of the three Hobbit clans are dark skinned, with one of them being also probably black-coded.

Please, don't be more racist than a midcentury British gentleman. Acknowledge Middle-Earth diversity.

[alsethwisson]

Trying to translate my longform into English.