afirewasinmyhead

[afirewasinmyhead]

when w. h. auden said “evil is unspectacular and always human” and ursula k. leguin said “this is the great treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain”

[afirewasinmyhead]

You know, if you’re thinking about sending someone a nice message and you’re unsure because you’re shy or whatever, just do it anyway. This world lacks so much kindness, and I see people all the time talking about why receiving a sweet message was the highlight of their day. If you have the ability to literally make someone’s day by taking a moment to say a few nice words like, just do it.

[afirewasinmyhead]

i need to put a slice of moon in my mouth like a cold fruit

[afirewasinmyhead]

Challenging Amatornomativity- A Beginner’s Guide

As aros, we tend to be quite aware of amatonormativity, but it might be hard to explain or give concrete examples of it, especially when explaining it to alloromantics. This guide and workbook aims to explain what amatonormativity is by giving examples of how it manifests and how it can be harmful. Through a series of exercises and reflections, people can learn to better identify and challenge amatornomativity. There are also a number of sources and narratives to help people understand its impact and learn from lived experiences. The worbook is aimed at (monogamous) alloromantic folks, but could be useful for aros who are struggling with internalized amatonormativity. 

There are currently five versions of the guide/workbook:

Digital workbook (fillable PDF)

Printer-friendly workbook (printable PDF)

Google Docs version

Youtube (audio with CC)

Downloable MP3

The workbook can be found on here on my WordPress. Feel free to share it, especially with people in your life who could benefit from learning about amatonormativity. And if you consider yourself an ally to aros, please consider engaging with this material and spreading it in your circles. Challenging amatonormativity is not the responsibility of the aro community alone!

A thanks and a shout-out to those who helped, including @aroace-avenue.

[afirewasinmyhead]

rest

[afirewasinmyhead]

imagine you as a child, rummaging around in the current version of your room. what would they be drawn to?

[afirewasinmyhead]

2021-07-10

Canon EOS R6 + RF85mm f1.2L

Instagram  |  hwantastic79vivid

[afirewasinmyhead]

lonely girls my beloved. i see you staying in your room, i see you standing in grocery store aisles feeling the sudden wave of isolation wash over you. i understand how badly you want and how bad that makes you feel. i get it. we're not alone. but we are.

[afirewasinmyhead]

do you ever look at strangers smiling or dancing or having fun and think “i love you”? or see someone bop their heads along with the music from their headphones and you just wish you could tell them how pretty they look doing just that? or feel your heart warm when you watch someone laugh really loudly and then think about them later that day, completely randomly? you’re a part of that, too. someone has kept quiet about how beautiful you are to them, has smiled at the thought of this complete stranger that made their day, has repeated a joke you made to someone they love. there’s a lot of quiet love and admiration and connection in this world and even if you think you don’t belong, you’ve always been and always will be a part of it.

[afirewasinmyhead]

Cozy Room Commission 

Insta: @debbiebalboa

[afirewasinmyhead]

here is a star for everyone who’s not feeling their best today (🌟)

[afirewasinmyhead]

“Seeking joy has been an active practice, because joy doesn’t come easily for me. I’m prone to long periods of fog, as you’ve called it, and if I don’t seek (and make) light, I would stay in it even longer, would possibly never emerge. I swear by keeping routines, which includes taking care of my body—eating enough, sleeping and waking at regular times, getting fresh air, that sort of thing. I also put limits on things that smother my joy; for me, this is primarily the internet, which provides endless messaging that I am not doing enough, am not good enough, and just generally steals my attention and energy, which I would prefer to use on things which nourish me. I believe in the power of creating small joys, instead of waiting for a big one to arrive miraculously in your life. I made a list of these joys so I can refer to it when I’m deeper in the fog, like a menu to order from. 100 joys. They’re simple, but effective—things like bubble baths, calling a friend, dancing, buying flowers, eating dark chocolate, a cup of tea. Some months, I have to challenge myself to meet a quota, when I’m feeling very down. It helps. Little step after little step. Little light after little light.”

— Leila Chatti, from an interview with Sneha Subramanian Kanta in Parentheses Journal, Issue 10

[afirewasinmyhead]

ah i care them

[afirewasinmyhead]

the best thing about the moon and the sky and the stars is that while you can't ever take a picture of them that does them justice......you don't need to. they're gonna be there tomorrow

[afirewasinmyhead]

bath bloom.

[afirewasinmyhead]

Kurt Vonnegut wrote: “When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”

And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”

And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.”

[afirewasinmyhead]

something deeply intimate about being outside early in the morning all alone and seeing the world as she is