absurd-pasta
U Are My Fire My One Desire
125 posts
personal blog for @/old-mug || 21 || she/they|| you will see nothing here but stupidity and doorknob antics.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
absurd-pasta · 2 months ago
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RIVALS (2024-)
‘I can’t breathe without you’
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absurd-pasta · 9 months ago
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unknown / Cable and Deadpool issue #35 / Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe / Cable Issue #3 / Deadpool (2023) / Azra T., My Heart is Full of Open Windows / Deadpool (2023) / Mikko Harvey.
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absurd-pasta · 9 months ago
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My hottest take is that the Hike From Hell is actually a beating. Like, I struggle to read it any other way than Cassian actually physically abusing Nesta with Rhysand and Feyre's blessing. I don't really see how you could read it any other way.
"But Cassian doesn't touch Nesta, he never lays his hands on her!"
Well what do you call it when a man, at the direction of his boss who is also his brother in law, forces a woman to do strenuous physical activity against her will for days on end? What do you call it when a man forces a woman to carry the heavy supplies, doesn't check if she'd eaten or had water, doesn't allow her to rest, and doesn't allow her to leave the situation until they've had sex and he deems her adequate for society again? He has no kind words for her and he knows that she's In a dark mental spiral and he keeps pushing her until she faints from exhaustion.
I'm serious. What is this, if not physical abuse?
Nesta "acted out" and the men in her life punished her physically for it.
It's genuinely disgusting how this scene is meant as an important step on the so-called healing journey.
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absurd-pasta · 10 months ago
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absurd-pasta · 10 months ago
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*Kicks down the door* YOU KNOW WHUMPY TROPES I LOVE SO MUCH BUT BARELY EVER SEE?
MAGIC FATIGUE/EXHAUSTION/OVERUSE.
Give me those sweet side effects of overusing magic:
Getting lightheaded and weak, struggling to stand let alone keep fighting
"Are you ok?" "Yeah I'm fine. *immediately faceplants because their legs can't support their weight anymore*"
F a i n t i n g
Physical injuries like burns, broken bones, etc
The risk of permanent damage either physically or mentally
Can I get uuuuhhhhh "loses a sense either temporarily or permanently depending on the severity of the overuse"?
Stopping their heart (cue the team scrambling to drag their dumbass friend back from death)
THERE'S SO MUCH YOU CAN DO AND I SO RARELY SEE IT.
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absurd-pasta · 10 months ago
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Every time I think about Bagginshield I want to EAT GLASS!!!
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absurd-pasta · 11 months ago
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Aelin Galathynius created Prythian. She is the Mother.
This theory contains TOG, ACOTAR and (slight) CC SPOILERS!
Many, many thousands of years ago, Amren recalled that a huge "rip in the sky" appeared in her home world. Out of curiosity, Amren flew through this rip, and landed in Prythian.
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This perfectly aligns with Aelin ripping a hole in the sky of the God's realm. This is the most concrete piece of evidence that Throne of Glass took place in the past (something I have already theorised about).
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However, and most interestingly, it is suggested that Amren entered Prythian when it was being made - when the world itself was beginning to form.
If Aelin indeed created the "rip" in the sky that Amren went into - the timing suggests that Aelin's actions led to the creation of Prythian.
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And, although subtle, we actually have proof of this.
Recall that Wyrd was described as the thing that "keeps the realms apart:"
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But, when Aelin shut the gates between worlds at the end of Kingdom of Ash, we have this VERY important (and often overlooked) clue:
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Aelin caused for all worlds to overlap.
I believe this is how Prythian was born.
The Cauldron.
According to the mural that Feyre observes, Prythian was created by a female with "glowing, slender hands," who tipped a fluid with "strange symbols" (wyrdmarks), from the Cauldron, onto the land.
I believe this was Aelin - perhaps not literally, but metaphorically.
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But this begs the question; what exactly is the Cauldron?
For starters, we know that the Cauldron has 3 "legs". These legs provide most of its power (and this is an important clue!)
This is very similar to the 3 wyrdkeys in TOG; the very 3 wyrdkeys that Aelin embedded into her arm (and subsequently her blood) when she sealed the gates.
Aelin then gave over the 3 wyrdkeys, and all of her fire power to forge the new lock. It is this very power that is the essence of the Cauldron. 
As evidence of this, when we see the Cauldron's power in ACOWAR, it presents as Aelin's own power; "raw fire power," capable of burning an entire army to ash within seconds.
The Dread Trove.
The Cauldron also created the Dread Trove - and this is another very important clue.
The Crown.
The Crown can control and influence people - just like the wyrdkeys (and subsequent wyrdcollars and rings controlled people in TOG).
The Mask.
The Mask can control the dead - just like the wyrdkeys could create armies of dead people; a power Erawan desperately wanted.
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The Harp.
The Harp can open portals to different locations, and potentially different worlds and realms. This is one of the key features of the wyrdkeys.
In fact, it was said the 3 wyrdkeys were needed to create a wyrdgate.
The Cauldron has 3 legs (that I believe are the 3 wyrdkeys Aelin yielded to seal the lock).
Thus, the Cauldron *IS* a wyrdgate.
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Cauldron = Wyrdgate.
As further proof of this, to "nullify" the Cauldron, Amren had to:
give up her current body,
forget about those she loved,
and unleash her power of "light and flame."
Which is just like Mala Fire-Bringer; who also had to:
give up her current body,
forget about those she loved, (in fact, both her and Amren both warned that they will no longer "remember" their loved ones),
and unleash her power of "light and flame", in order to forge the lock, and shut the wyrdgate.
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But, recall that when Mala's plan didn't work, Aelin (and Dorian) had to give all of their power to reforge a new lock, in order to seal and shut the wyrdgate once more.
This is just like Rhys in ACOWAR; in order to re-seal the Cauldron, he had to give over every inch of his power.
In fact, when Aelin and Dorian's power were used together, and in combination with the wyrdkeys, it was described as "creation and destruction," and the "beginning and the ending."
These are the exact same terms used to describe the Cauldron - and I'd argue the exact same *power* of the Cauldron (but more on that later).
And, as a side note - at one point, the Cauldron's power was even described as "fire and ice"... (ring any bells?)
The Lock.
Further, when Aelin and Dorian were sealing the wyrdgate shut, they had to make a "lock."
The lock they made was the Eye of Elena. This is perhaps the most important clue in this theory; that this very symbol and mechanism allowed for the creation of the Cauldron.
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However, we learn in later TOG books that this symbol isn't just known as the Eye of Elena, but also as the "Eye of the Goddess." This is because it was first a sacred witch symbol, created by Rhiannon Crochan.
Crochan means Cauldron.
Additionally, the Eye of the Goddess was named as such, as it is said to represent the Three Faced Goddess (that the witches worshipped), and her three counterparts;
The Maiden
The Mother
The Crone.
It's for this reason that I believe the Cauldron was created from the Eye of Elena, or the Eye of the Goddess lock, as it too follows the principles of Maiden, Mother, and Crone.
We see clear evidence of this when Elain, Nesta and Briallyn were thrown into the Cauldron.
Elain was made into the Maiden.
The Maiden often symbolises innocence, beauty and blossoming.
In TOG, the Maiden was represented by the Blueblood witches, who were the "oracles, mystics, and zealots."
Elain was made into a Seer.
The Bluebloods also required more iron (as it was said that they were the most powerful), and it is rather interesting that Elain (presumably) wears an iron ring.
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Nesta was made into the Mother.
The Mother often symbolises maturity, responsibility, and power.
In TOG, the Mother was represented by the Blackbeak witches, who were the warriors - known for their "obedience, discipline, and brutality."
Considering the multiple references to Nesta making a fine General in an army, as well as the parallels between Manon's thirteen, and Nesta's Valkyries - it makes perfect sense.
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Briallyn was made into the Crone.
She was, quite literally, turned into an old woman by the Cauldron.
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Creation and Destruction.
Knowing that that the Cauldron was made from the Eye of Elena/Eye of the Goddess, as well as the 3 wyrdkeys, as well as Aelin's own power that she donated to forge the lock, and seal the gate - this can explain Nesta's own power.
Nesta's power manifested as "cold" flame, one that seemingly burned without a trace.
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We have already seen this before;
Aelin's moon-fire,
and Kaltain's shadow-fire.
The commonality between these two? Both women were in possession of the wyrdkeys.
The same wyrdkeys that the Cauldron now possess; the same power that Nesta stole.
And, all in all, this makes perfect sense. The Cauldron is a wyrdgate. Wyrd is the "language of the universe," it is the power of both creation and destruction, life and death.
Nesta's power symbolises one half - Death.
And, it's for this reason that I believe that Elain's powers (that are yet to be revealed), will symbolise the other half - Life. Creation. (And, I also have an inkling that she will be the one to rebuild the Dusk Court with this very power).
We also know that the Cauldron loved Elain. If the Cauldron was indeed created by Aelin - that she is it's Mother - then perhaps it's no coincidence that "Elain" is an anagram for "Aelin"....?
A portal too?
If the Cauldron is indeed a wyrdgate - then recall that Feyre threw the Book of Breathings into it.
Now, Jesiba Roga possesses that exact book.
Does this tell us that the Cauldron is in fact a wyrdgate to Lunathion, and the Crescent City world...?
Knowing all the connections between the Cauldron and the witches - and Jesiba being a witch herself, it makes sense...
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absurd-pasta · 11 months ago
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The Throne of Glass world no longer exists.
It was destroyed by the Asteri to create Midgard.
[Spoilers for Throne of Glass, ACOTAR, and Crescent City]
Many thousands of years ago, and prior to the Asteri's invasion of Midgard, there existed another civilisation. Part of this civilisation lived in a place called Parthos.
More specifically, when asked what the Crescent City world was before the Asteri's reign, Tharion noted that "ancient humans and their gods dwelled here."
An exact description of the Throne of Glass world.
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Interestingly, despite the Crescent City books mentioning other continents (such as Pangera), readers are only given a map of Lunathion.
This is particularly strange, as all other SJM books have provided a full world map.
So, why would this be hidden for Crescent City...?
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As such, I theorise that Midgard is actually the Throne of Glass world; hence why a full map has not yet been revealed.
Thus, I believe that following the events of Kingdom of Ash, some years later, the Asteri showed up and destroyed their world. The result of this was the creation of Midgard, and subsequently Lunathion - the world Bryce inhabits today.
The Timeline.
Evidently, this theory suggests that the timeline between the ACOTAR, CC and TOG worlds are not simultaneous, but rather that Throne of Glass occurred in the past - many thousands of years ago.
When considering this possibility, some rebut that this cannot be possible, as Aelin fell through worlds - right past Velaris and Lunathion. However, there is nothing to suggest that Aelin didn't also fall through time.
In fact, there are a multitude of hints throughout the various SJM books to suggest that time travel, or time manipulation, is indeed possible:
When the Asteri lured people into Midgard, it is said they offered a hand through "space and time."
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The Harp, when used, can transport people through "space and eons." In fact, the 26th string is time itself - but what happens when a full melody is played?
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Merrill straight up suggests that all of the worlds overlap - sharing the same space, but are separated by time. Almost as if it suggests that ACOTAR, CC and TOG are in the same 'world,' but manifestations of differing time periods; the past (TOG), the present (ACOTAR), and the future (CC).
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Most importantly, when Bryce lands in Prythian, she starts to wonder if she had travelled in time; or, if this new world occupies a different time period (the exact concept that Merrill just suggested...)
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Further, in her most recent interview, SJM was asked whether time travel would play a part in future books. SJM mysteriously replied, "no spoilers."
Thus, if this theory is correct, and Throne of Glass is indeed set in the past, then it is perhaps no coincidence that "Midgard" is the Norse name for "Earth."
And that "Terrasen" means "Old Earth."
Parthos.
As previously mentioned, a portion of the civilisation that used to inhabit Midgard (and as this theory suggests, the TOG characters) resided in an ancient city called Parthos.
As readers, we are first offered a glimpse of Parthos when Apollion takes Bryce to a "dream world" - a landscape in which the Great Library of Parthos used to be.
When in this dream world, Bryce notes that what remains of Parthos is a "DUSTY plain."
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Interestingly, in the ACOTAR world, the Bone Carver mentioned that the world he (and his siblings) came from is now nothing more than "DUST drifting across a plain."
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As the Bone Carver mentions this, Feyre notes that he draws three interlocking circles into the ground.
This is the exact symbol of Bryce's Archesian necklace - which is also the symbol of Parthos.
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If this theory is correct, then the Bone Carver originated from Parthos - from the Throne of Glass world.
Considering the similarities between the Bone Carver and the Sin Eater (the absent God-like being in the TOG world who quite literally carved bones, and was known as the 'God of Truth')... it makes perfect sense.
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However, the most telling clue of all, that connects everything together, is this;
Knowing that Parthos is referred to as a "dusty" plain, consider Rowan's words to Aelin:
"I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a FORGOTTEN WHISPER OF DUST between the stars, I will love you."
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Why would the world Aelin and Rowan inhabit ever turn into a "forgotten whisper of dust"? Just like Parthos?
Because IT IS Parthos.
It is the world the Asteri destroyed to create Midgard.
Asteri Archives.
As even further proof, recall that when Bryce entered the Asteri's archive rooms at the end of CC2, she found notes on how Midgard came to be.
These notes stated that the "indigenous life was not sustainable" for the Asteri.
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If this theory is correct, this suggests that the "indigenous" lives were the Throne of Glass humans, and that they did not possess enough magic (or first-light) to feed the Asteri.
We already know this is true, as it was a similar problem that the Valg previously faced.
Additionally, on the exact same page of the notes that detail the Asteri's invasion of Midgard, there is a sketch of both a wolf shifter, and a mer.
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The wolf shifters and the mer are the two species confirmed to be the Throne of Glass fae.
So, it begs the question; why were the Throne of Glass fae explicitly mentioned on the Asteri's Midgard (pre-colonisation) notes...?
The Southern Continent.
If Midgard is built on the ruins of the Throne of Glass world, then I believe that Lunathion is situated on the Southern Continent (the setting of the TOG book, Tower of Dawn).
More specifically, as Lunathion is said to be modelled after an "ancient city," I believe it is modelled after the famed Southern Continent City - Antica.
In Tower of Dawn, Antica is described as a city surrounded by a wall, lined with "olive groves" and "wheat farms" bordering the city.
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Lunathion is described in the exact same way:
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Further, both Lunathion and Antica have "arid" climates:
Lunathion:
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Antica:
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And, most notably, both are surrounded by deserts; a unique geographical feature that is not prominently featured in other SJM settings.
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As such, this suggests that the lost library of Parthos, is the Torre Cesme.
Perhaps the most sacred building in the entirety of the Throne of Glass world, the Torre Cesme is home to a huge library - one that is said to be the oldest.
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In the present day, Jesiba Roga guards the remaining books that were once held in the library of Parthos (or, in the Torre Cesme library).
Prior to the end of CC1, Jesiba kept these books locked away in her store, Griffin Antiquities. Interestingly, a set of "glaring owl eyes" had been placed on the store to Jesiba's shop.
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Owl's are the symbol of Silba, and the healers of the Torre Cesme.
Further, considering that Yrene's healing abilities are the exact same as Bryce's Starborn powers - could this explain why Jesiba looked like she had "seen a ghost" when she first beheld Bryce's Starborn light?
Such a notion makes even more sense when you consider that Hypaxia's tutor was brought back to life using necromancy, and was originally an inhabitant of Parthos.
Hypaxia states that this tutor specifically trained her in healing magic; just like the healers of the Torre Cesme.
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In fact, the scene of Hypaxia removing the Kristallos venom is near identical to Yrene removing the Valg parasite from Chaol:
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Lidia Cervos.
Speaking of necromancy, knowing that Hypaxia's family dabbles in such magic calls into question the identify of Lidia, Hypaxia's half-sister.
Is she Aelin Galathynius, brought back to life?
Or, perhaps she is a child of Aelin and Rowan, brought back to life?
Not only do Lidia and Aelin look near identical,
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Not only is Lidia represented by flame (Aelin's power),
But her shifted form is that of a deer; that sacred animal of Terrasen. Even her last name "Cervos" is a type of female deer.
Lidia is also seen wearing a "gold ring, crowned with a square, clean-cut ruby." This is the exact description of the ring Aelin have to Rowan when they married.
Further, Ruhn also suggests that Lidia must be an Asteri, or as old as one, given the way she uses language. However, as Lidia is only 47, this makes no sense.
However, it makes perfect sense if Ruhn is actually talking to Aelin, or Aelin's child; someone who, according to this theory, existed many thousands of years ago.
(And, as a side note - given that Lidia looks like the "spitting image" of Luna, and that Luna's sacred animal is the Stag... could it be that Luna is Aelin? And that Lunathion was named after her?)
Connections.
Is it then perhaps no coincidence that one of the houses of Lunathion is the "House of Flame and Shadow." Aelin was known as the "Queen of Flame and Shadow."
In fact, Throne of Glass being the past world of Crescent City explains a plethora of connections:
The "Stag King" of Avallen.
Ruhn being named after the Ruhnn mountains.
Why so many CC places sound like TOG places (Morrah = Morath, Korinth = Orynth).
The witches worshipping the same "three-faced goddess."
Why wyrdmarks can be found everywhere (especially underwater, where some of the ruins of the "ancient civilisation" are said to lie).
It also explains the "World of Throne of Glass" book, which to this day, mysteriously remains unpublished.
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According to SJM, the World of Throne of Glass is an "encyclopedia" that documents the full history of the Throne of Glass world. Written by a "grumpy librarian," SJM stated that it will "feel like a book you can pull off the shelves of an ancient library."
It's almost as if the World of Throne of Glass is a Parthos book in itself...
Is that why it remains unreleased?
Future books.
If this theory is correct, some may wonder how SJM could possibly include TOG characters if they are indeed dead.
I believe there are two viable options:
The "rewrite history" route:
In a future multiverse book series, the main characters of CC and ACOTAR would team up, and using the Harp/Horn (or perhaps the full power of the Dread Trove), they would go back in time. In doing so, they would join forces with the TOG characters, and stop the Asteri from ever overthrowing their world.
If successful, it would mean that the Dusk Court was never destroyed. At present, Bryce is hinted to be the ruler of this court... but it doesn't exist (and there isn't a lot of time to rebuild an entire city). However, if time manipulation was used... no rebuilding would be necessary.
It would also explain why the Oracle told Ruhn that the "royal bloodline will end" with him - as Midgard would never be created, the same applies for the Autumn King's reign.
The "escape" route:
Alternatively, perhaps when the Asteri arrived in the TOG world, some of the main characters were able to escape into other worlds - such as Prythian.
This would explain why so many of the characters in the ACOTAR and TOG worlds share many similarities (for example, Tamlin as the ancestor of Aedion and Lysandra...)
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This would also explain why so many of the ACOTAR character's last names have been hidden from the reader.
Some characters may have escaped elsewhere too, such as Hel...
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(^ This is more of a crack theory, but there's only two characters in the SJM universe who have "freakishly" blue eyes, can shape shift into any form they choose, and have powers that manifest as cold...)
However, no matter the method of saving the world, or storyline adopted, Aelin said it best herself:
"This world will be saved and remade by the dreamers."
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absurd-pasta · 1 year ago
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Wounds of the Earth
— by xis.lanyx
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absurd-pasta · 1 year ago
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is anyone else seeing this????? HELLO????????
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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is the cannibalism a joke……
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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the boys / supernatural
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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will graham icons.
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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consensual workplace relationships be like that sometimes
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Instagram | Twitter | Etsy | Shop | Ko-fi
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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Robert Pattinson as Batman in THE BATMAN (2022) Tom Sturridge as Sandman in THE SANDMAN (2022)
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absurd-pasta · 2 years ago
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house m.d moments that rotate in my mind with zero context
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