5o8ie-nerd-blog

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It’s that time of year again. Hats and extra layers. https://www.instagram.com/p/BpJzXRYBDtf07sY44ktpsiDM2GQESakrAUQ05c0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ps9s8y5ibzwg

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Ain’t he the cutest. ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/BpCZBblHBTM-pgprQgQjJjGF3hrcJTVCvt2q5o0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wkg9q4s7kca7

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Got chased by the Scientology Ministry today. #NoMeansNo ... #Vaffanculo - Romford says #GoHomeYourDrunk https://www.instagram.com/p/BoeF0F9HYiE9WFQP8mjcuRjyf0B2RCq3ZJSw-c0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1pwjwcm9rmpv7

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Sick and tired of all the constant poking and prodding ... It’s such an inconvenience, invasion, violation. I just wanna be left alone. Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I wanna go to bed ... (at North Middlesex University Hospital NHS Trust)

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Me when I ask for more juice. “More???” ... They say. I’ve experienced #Despair and #Defeat most my life ... But this is some next level shite ... 32 days and counting. No food. I’d be lucky if I even got #Slop - I cannot even ask for water as I’ve been on prescription liquids for the last 32 days and water is prescription only too. This is what those who claim to care, have subjected me to all my life. Directly and now, indirectly. (at Finsbury Park)

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I’m unable to process deceit and betrayal. I don’t speak no more. If you’re special to me you’ll get a few kind words said in a whisper and kind gestures. If you get none of the above that means #YoureIrrelevantToMe and #GodForgivesIDont I do #Indifferent so go seek #SpiritualGuidance to absolve yourselves of your guilt and pacify your conscience some place else. #SelfishAssMOFOS (at Finsbury Park)

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Broken, dented. Same difference. Literal and figuratively. My #ObjectiveMindSet always is set on #EmpathMode that’s why I can relate to the ‘BadGuy’ because I feel their pain and their depth. But understanding #Evil the logic behind their character is just plain inhumane and sick. The #Joker is justified because he ain’t really a bad guy - but there’s no justification for #PureEvil I understand their logic as I can process multitude of perspectives at any given moment but the motives are purely selfish and are void of human traits. (at Finsbury Park)

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Time Check - 0504hrs. Still stuck in a dump on the side lines. (at North Middlesex University Hospital NHS Trust)

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#HateSpaceInvaders I have to always disinfect and sanitise myself. I hate them my head and I hate them in my face. I’m always auditing and editing. Can’t keep track of fake phoney ass people’s so I just avoid anybody I doubt based on historical facts. I hate that I have to breath other people’s air. At least give me #MyPersonalSpace it’s the only thing I hate. (at North Middlesex University Hospital NHS Trust)

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#LonelyHunter “We’re born Alone, We live Alone, We die Alone.” Pretty much sums up the human experience. That’s why I take care of my #EternalSelf ... Everything else is mundane, futile, irrelevant, illusory, mediocre ... Oh and the sheep - my biggest and worst fear. They so stupid and dumb. Shame these are medical conditions - they would make excellent test subject considering the amount of synthetic chemical crap they consume. (at North Middlesex University Hospital NHS Trust)

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#StrandedOnDeathRow ... This is what happens when you in one hospital held being prisoner - sustain an injury due to insufficient care whilst in hospital and so they send you to another hospital where the scientists and vampires mash up your arm and leaving you stranded on a bed in the corridor. A minimum 3hr wait before I see a Doctor and he/she gives me #DiagNONSENSE ... One place is worst than the next. I seriously have no fight left in me. #ISoSad ... It’s now Day 31. SoBie has been stripped of her freedom and basic human rights. She attempted to fight the system but was met with hostility and mockery by care staff. As a result she received insufficient care and was taken for emergency treatment at another hospital. All of which could have been avoided if staff actually cared and were not busy gassing and dossing all day long. I was injured between around 2pm I reported it at 3pm. I was buzzing my emergency alarm but I was ignored. Then I had to leave my bed to grab somebody’s attention and she didn’t even notice my state and demanded I go back to my room. I told her what happened and she calls for the Duty Doc at 7pm. Now I’m stuck here - was waiting for an ambulance till 2am. Hey I was thinking maybe I should do a video/blog diary think. But I’m unable to speak. #IWannaGoHome no more hospital, no more space invaders no blood and psychic vampires. They don’t even have pillows. I never spend a night away from until some #GuiltyAssMOFOs ambush me and lie to get me here. They break me so they can then fix me at my expense. What shite logic is that??? Stretcher in a corridor ... I realise that pets are treated with more care than humans. Unless you’re a poor lab animal. Hospitals are just sophisticated human laboratories. They’re not Gods so admittedly they don’t know what’s wrong with you. They call it ‘treatment’ - I call it ‘trial and error’ because treat is something they do. And Gods they are NOT. To which they concur but insist to use the word treatment to describe their profession. (at North Middlesex University Hospital NHS Trust)

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I’m just a a figment of YOUR #Khayal [old Arabic word for Imagination] #IbnArabi (at Finsbury Park)

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#SheepEveryWhere - but just thinking, I don’t reckon they got MIND - that would make them human. It’s all just a construct and they too #BlindDumb and #BrainDead to #Recognise ... Oh well, #GoodLuckWithThat (at Finsbury Park)

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Oh I forgot to mention - staff @StAnnesMockYou ... I over heard 3 different staff members mock me in reference to not liking my notes because I cannot communicate through speech. And they roll their eyes and they insist I must press my alarm for assistance but nobody’s available when I’m in terrible need of urgent assistance. They sit in the office #GassingAsTheDayIsLong in a cruel, callous insensitive way which is also so very inappropriate considering this Wards specialist apparent care and field of ‘work’ as advocated and officiated by the Royals. (at St Ann's, London)

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#Preach I been #RollingAlone since I was a child. Resented by one parent and overlooked and #Abandoned by the other and both usually at the same time when one wasn’t bashing me because she resented me for him not living up to the Prince Charming she thought he would be. Raised my siblings #Alone so they could go visit and have time away from the kids. It’s amazing how I kept siblings #SaferThanSafe then my parents ever could. Oh well, I’m not proud or cocky even. I’m just so pleased that I was an excellent daughter and sister and aunt. Note the #WasNotAnyMore ... I relinquished/resigned as #Lieutenant way way back when I got #ViolatedByFamily repeatedly till I couldn’t fight no more. So I became #IndifferentToBadEnergy as oppose to allowing them for the privilege. Oh and erm ... #Amen (at St Ann's, London)

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#Abandoned #Dismissed by staff and services and family. They don’t even #HearSilentScreams ... I suffer alone in silence. Staff hide behind red tape and ‘holidays’. Nobody to authorise water. It’s ‘prescription only’. No staff available to cater for #BasicHumanRights ... Stripped of dignity. And #RoyalFamily big up the NHS and they’re huge ambassadors of Mental Health. More like #NoHealthService and #ProfessionalResponsibilty is code for passing you from #PillarToPost #PassTheBuck #IWillAskMyColleague if you can have water. #StAnnesHospitalNotSaintly - tomorrow will be 28 days they’ve kept me on liquids only that make me ill. They fail to communicate important relevant information despite me handing them info on a plate, so to speak. I ain’t seen a dish or cutlery since my last meal at home on the 29th December ... I didn’t wanna do this but I’m sorry. Just because I’m single and look a #SailorLady they dismiss me. I’m judged and categorised. You get used to it when it’s family - but highly respected Royal officiated services? Me thinks NOT! Cannot even turn to family because to quote - “I don’t want to take responsibility for you in case something happens to you the family will blame me.” Also they need permission to party on while they ensure they lies keep me away and hidden and they can comfort their conscience by deceiving themselves into thinking I’m in the right place. #WRONGO I forgot to mention they don’t even cater for the mobility challenged patient. 3 weeks into being here, they ordered equipment and I still ain’t received it. Care??? Hospital??? Do you know even speak CARE!!! Not to mention no #CarePlan till 18 days into admission. Waited till 19th to get supplements that I can manage the symptoms of but not the correct prescription. They even regulate this despite my GP prescription being higher. (at St Ann's, London)

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And then she said #Vaffunculo You not welcome. You not wanted. You not invited. Go home. Go away. #GoRowRowRowYourBoatGentlyOffACliff ... I ain’t responsible for nobody’s #GuiltyConscience and it’s unfair and a dam insult to assume so. #InsultToInjury (at Finsbury Park)