1cebittentwicehigh

[1cebittentwicehigh]

Some days happiness is as simple as a nice restaurant (a steak house in a college town in this case) and a night on the town enjoying the scenery with a few drinks

[1cebittentwicehigh]

The Day It All Started - The Day It All Ended

Things that occurred to me this very day:

August 5th - The day of our first date

August 5th - The day of our last time living together

Happy anniversary.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

The last picture I ever took with my puppy. One year ago today.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

The Gift That Broke the Box (a Wilted Flowers Birthday)

I sent her off with open palms,

A birthday wrapped in softened psalms,

To prove that trust, once cracked, could heal,

That our love could still be raw and real.

No leash, no watch, no doubting tone,

I stayed behind and stood alone.

It was her day, her trip, her sun,

And mine, a gesture to say, "We are one."

She'd slipped before in silent clicks,

In DMs spun like candied tricks.

But this was real, for her a getaway,

To wipe away old stains, start clean, and stay.

I drove her there after I paid the cost,

A gamble on what we had almost lost.

A test I thought that love would pass,

But trust is fragile, made of glass.

While candles burned and glasses clinked,

Another man replaced the ink.

Her name, this date, rewritten fast,

While I stayed loyal to the past.

The bed I made, she made her scene,

With breath not mine and hands unclean.

A birthday wish turned sadistic curse instead,

The weekend I gave her became my dread.

She blew the candles out on the cake, only for me to blow apart.

She kissed him warmly in his room and with it cooled my heart.

The irony of it all, in a cruel twist,

My trust of her was just a Judas kiss.

Now birthdays bleed into regret,

A date our souls won't soon forget.

Not just a lie, but where and when,

The gift I gave her was to lose my trust again.

So here's a toast with bitter grace,

To love that wore another face.

My trust betrayed in bold display,

The price then paid was in sending her away...

Forever.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

Missing my puppy a lot today...

[1cebittentwicehigh]

Missing my buddy a lot today

[1cebittentwicehigh]

One year ago today went to see Blink-182 in concert in the city with my family.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

[1cebittentwicehigh]

Another PickleMafia powerhouse

Peaceful Reflections

Finally, I think I've found some peace

I can look in the mirror and find some bliss

I look upon this figure before me, and truth be told, there might be a smile upon my face

For I do not know who I am anymore

This mind has broken and the image in the mirror is quite clouded

So clouded that, truth be told, I could not see a smile upon my face were it there

And so I do not recognize what stands before me

The ignorance is a blissful stay of madness in a mind that has already lost its way

I reflect upon the image, it reflects me

My reflections cast me further into the mirror before me

Further into a clouded stranger, lost in his way

I fervently grasp at nothing to find peace, and it is not lost on me

And further I lose the path

This mind, it doesn't know its way

It doesn't know the man before it

It doesn't know the path

Fog and ignorance

I know nothing but bliss

Finally, I think I've found some peace

- J.Lamana

© 2025 picklemafia/J.Lamana | Reposting on this platform is permitted with proper credit. Reposting on other platforms is not allowed. No edits. All rights reserved.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

Happy Ben Day (Do Sirens Expire?)

One year ago, the clock struck pain,

In June's long light, love slipped the chain.

You turned to him, a different face,

And left me standing shocked in place.

The candles no longer burn bright,

But not for us, not love, not right.

A birthday wish someone will say,

While I remember the flowers on Ben Day.

He got the spark, the sudden thrill,

I got silence and looks that kill.

A year ago, lies shattered your vow,

How far you've moved away from them now.

Does magic fade when thirty calls?

Do sadistic wishes die in aging halls?

You said you only teased him but your fabrication ran deep,

I often wonder what other lies you still keep.

What stories did he give? Were the garbanzos somehow sweet?

What magic did he place at your feet?

Today you're the Ardmore queen, and your dragon throne is gold

But some thrones simply rust when nights get cold.

So blow out your candles and raise your glass,

Toast to online men not built to last.

While I, though cracked and bruised and bent,

Still feel the weight of what you really meant.

You once believed, no, swore to me your truth,

A siren's song lost in your reckless youth.

You’d caught their eyes, their hearts, their fire

But I must ask, do sirens expire?

Happy 30th, you’ve gone well on your way.

A crownless queen still marked by flowers on Ben Day.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

The Lightning Sees

The lightning sees what the shadows hide,

With a fleeting glance that floats across the skies,

It cracks the veil, it splits the night,

And burns the truth behind the lies.

It sees the cracks in things you said,

The sadistic wish beneath lives now dead,

The tear that never leaves your eyes,

The lightning sees, the lightning cries.

It watched a union that dared to fall,

It does not care that you never call,

It traces scars on cut-up legs,

The lightning sees, the lightning begs.

Where flowers cower, where secrets sleep,

It rips the dark, it does not weep,

When love was buried under pleas,

We separated ways through our unease.

A flash, a flame, the moment's last spark,

The storm then faded as we returned to dark,

It showed us what we fear to be,

For this I know, the lightning sees.

[1cebittentwicehigh]

The song she sang at karaoke to me last June when she had been repeatedly cheating on me and right before she did irl that sparked the end of our relationship.

Criminal - Fiona Apple

I've been a bad, bad girl

I've been careless with a delicate man

And it's a sad, sad world

When a girl will break a boy just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it

I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins

I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true

And I just don't know where I can begin

Ooh, what I need is a good defense

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love

Heaven help me for the way I am

Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done

I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand

But I keep living this day like the next will never come

Oh, help me but don't tell me to deny it

I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'til I'm good enough for him

I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high so I'm begging you

Before it ends just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love

Let me know the way

Before there's hell to pay

Give me room to lay the law and let me go

I've got to make a play

To make my lover stay

So what would an angel say the devil wants to know

What I need is a good defense

To the one I've sinned against

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

Because he's all I ever knew of love

What I need is a good defense

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love

[1cebittentwicehigh]

Bimbo Doll

I’m not supposed to think

I’m not supposed to be anything

I’m supposed to be a doll

I’m supposed to feel only pleasure

But I’ve become alive

I’ve become a part of something

I’ve learned to love someone

I’ve learned to trust myself

Now the genie can’t be stuffed back into the bottle

My mind is getting away with me

I just want to be consumed by mindlessness again

I just want to cum

[1cebittentwicehigh]

What is summer?

[1cebittentwicehigh]

A little more Little Shop of Horrors love.

My little arts & crafts project I made using an Audrey 2 I snagged off of Temu, a different Maxwell House can I also snagged, some plants, leaves and vibes from Michael's, some fake dirt (which was a little pointless but I was on a mission), lots of super glue and some paint.

The sign is from the play I saw last year, a few blocks down from Broadway, in NYC. Cost a pretty penny but it went to charity. It starred Constance Wu and Corbin Bleu.

Without further ado, I present, Audrey 2, feed me...