1-sadistic-lover-1sl

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

Why is it that you speak as if doms are only men and subs are only women? So much of your advice could help and apply to so many people but you exclude them by utterly pointlessly gendering roles even when you’re talking about them in general. You probably don’t mean it that way but it comes across as sexist as all fuck. You’re just reinforcing shit even as you try to educate.

I hear you and you are far from the first to say this. I write my lived experience. In fact I write my poems and quotes about my life with @spoiled-lil-kitten. When you read “she” it might as well be her name because it’s her soul that moves me to write. It would be truly disingenuous of me to speak as if I know the experience of Domme or of training a sub that is not a woman. I have never been the one or trained the other. I do not and will not pretend knowledge where I have none. There are so many brilliant writers out there who have the right to speak from that truth. I do not.

Regards,

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

What the Hell is Gor?

I want to make this clear first: Gor is a fictional world created by author John Norman in his series of science fiction novels known as the Chronicles of Gor. The books are set on a planet called Gor, which is inhabited by humans and various other species. The society on Gor is based on a hierarchical system where men are dominant and women are submissive.  BDSM, on the other hand, is a set of sexual practices and activities that involve bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It is a consensual activity that involves power exchange between partners.  The Gor novels have been associated with BDSM due to the dominant/submissive dynamic that is prevalent in the society depicted in the books. The Gor novels are a work of fiction and do not necessarily reflect the reality of BDSM practices.  Furthermore, the depiction of women in the Gor novels has been criticized for being misogynistic and promoting non-consensual activities.  BDSM is a consensual activity that involves mutual respect and communication between partners. Any activity that is non-consensual or promotes violence or abuse is not considered BDSM.  SO… while the Gor novels may be used as role play in BDSM, it is important to approach them with caution and not use them as a guide for BDSM practices. It is important to prioritize communication, consent, and mutual respect in any BDSM activity. 

The world of Gor is highly ritualized, and there are many codes and rituals that must be followed. This is likely why the books became so attractive to BDSM practitioners. So...Yes, there are groups and individuals who incorporate elements of the Gor novels into their BDSM practices. These individuals identify as "Gorians" or "Goreans" and use the terminology and hierarchy depicted in the novels in their BDSM activities.  Not all BDSM practitioners who incorporate elements of Gor into their play necessarily endorse or support the problematic aspects of the Gor novels, such as the non-consensual treatment of women. Many BDSM practitioners who use Gor-inspired elements in their play do so in a consensual and respectful manner that prioritizes the safety and well-being of all parties involved.  As with any BDSM practice, it is important for individuals to communicate their boundaries and expectations clearly with their partners and to prioritize mutual respect and consent. It is also important to be aware of the potential risks and challenges associated with incorporating elements of Gor into BDSM play, such as the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes or the reinforcement of non-consensual power dynamics.

All of that stated let's move on:

Rituals

Here are some of the most important rituals and codes depicted in the books in the context of BDSM. 

1. The Gorean caste system: The society of Gor is divided into castes, each with its own set of duties and responsibilities. The highest caste is the Warriors, followed by the Scribes, Builders, Physicians, Initiates, Outlaws, and Slaves.  

2. The codes of the caste system: Each caste has its own set of codes that must be followed. For example, the Warrior code emphasizes honor, courage, and loyalty, while the Scribe code emphasizes accuracy and impartiality.  

3. The use of collars: Collars are used to signify a woman's status as a slave. They are also used to control and discipline slaves.  

4. The use of kajirae: Kajirae are female slaves who have been trained to be obedient and submissive. They are often used for domestic work and sexual pleasure. 

5. The use of rituals in slavery: Slavery on Gor is also highly ritualized, with many codes and rituals that must be followed. For example, when a woman is first enslaved, she is often stripped naked and publicly displayed before being collared.  

6. The use of hospitality: Hospitality is highly valued in Gorean society. Guests are treated with respect and are expected to behave respectfully in return.  

7. The use of oaths: Oaths are taken very seriously on Gor. Breaking one's word is seen as a serious offense and can result in punishment.  

It's important to note that the codes and rituals of Gor are highly controversial and have been criticized for their treatment of women and their glorification of violence. They were never meant to be taken as a model for real-world societies. That being said lets look at one of the elements of the book that is central in it’s BDSM incarnation, slavery.

Slavery in Chronicles of Gor

The next aspect to look at in the books is slavery. Slavery is a central aspect of the fictional world of Gor, as depicted in the Chronicles of Gor. The rituals of slavery on Gor are highly ritualized, and they play a significant role in the lives of both slaves and their owners. Here are some of the most important rituals of slavery on Gor: 

1. The Collaring Ceremony: When a woman is first enslaved, she is stripped naked and presented before her new owner. The owner then places a collar around her neck, signifying her status as a slave. The collaring ceremony is a highly ritualized event, and it is often witnessed by other slaves and free persons.  

2. The Slave Dance: The slave dance is a ritual dance performed by female slaves. It is designed to showcase the beauty and grace of the slaves and to entertain their owners. The dance is often performed in public, and it is a highly sexualized performance.  3. The Slave Position: Slaves on Gor are required to assume a specific position when in the presence of their owners. This position involves kneeling with the head bowed and the hands clasped behind the back. The slave position is a sign of submission and obedience.  

4. The Slave Meal: Slaves on Gor are often required to eat separately from their owners. They are given a simple meal of bread and water, which they must eat while kneeling. The slave meal is a reminder of the slave's status and their dependence on their owner.  

5. The Slave Auction: Slaves on Gor are often bought and sold at public auctions. The auctions are highly ritualized events, and they are attended by both free persons and slaves. The slaves are displayed on a platform, and potential buyers can inspect them before bidding on them. 

6. The Slave Punishment: Slaves on Gor are subject to punishment if they disobey their owners or fail to perform their duties. The punishments are often physical and can include whipping, beating, or confinement. The slave punishment is a reminder of the slave's status and their dependence on their owner. 

7. The Slave Bath: Slaves on Gor are often required to bathe in front of their owners. The slave bath is a ritualized event, and the slaves are expected to wash themselves thoroughly while being watched by their owners.  

8. The Slave Lash: The slave lash is a whip used to discipline slaves. It is a symbol of the slave's submission to their owner, and it is often used in public as a form of punishment.  

9. The Slave Branding: Slaves on Gor are often branded with the mark of their owner. The branding is a permanent reminder of the slave's status and their ownership.  

10. The Slave Oath: Slaves on Gor are often required to take an oath of obedience to their owner. The oath is a ritualized event, and the slave is expected to swear complete loyalty and obedience to their owner.  

11. The Slave Parade: Slaves on Gor are often paraded through the streets as a display of their owner's wealth and power. The slave parade is a highly ritualized event, and the slaves are expected to behave with complete obedience and submission.  

12. The Slave Auction Block: The slave auction block is a platform where slaves are displayed for sale. The block is a highly ritualized object, and it is often decorated with symbols of the slave trade.  It's important to note that the depiction of slavery on Gor is a fictional construct and does not reflect real-world societies. The rituals of slavery on Gor are not meant to be taken as a model for real-world behavior or social norms.

There are SO MANY MORE. Listing them would be a book on its own.

 ***Again, please keep in mind, the rituals of slavery on Gor are not meant to be taken as a model for real-world societies.This is fantasy.***

Additional Elements

These rituals are hardly all that gets used in real life dynamics. BDSM practitioners who incorporate elements of Gor into their play use various other aspects of the books, including:  

1. Terminology: The novels use specific terminology to describe the roles and relationships between dominant and submissive partners. For example, dominant partners may be referred to as "Masters" or "Mistresses," while submissive partners may be referred to as "slaves."  

2. Hierarchy: The novels depict a complex hierarchy, with various castes and social classes that determine an individual's status and privileges. BDSM practitioners may use this hierarchy as a framework for their play, with dominant partners taking on higher-status roles and submissive partners taking on lower-status roles. 

 3. Props and costumes: The Gor novels feature various props and costumes that may be used in BDSM play, such as collars, chains, and leather clothing. These props and costumes can help create a specific atmosphere and enhance the power dynamic between partners.  

4. Power dynamics: The Gor novels depict non-consensual power dynamics, with dominant partners exerting control over submissive partners. BDSM practitioners who incorporate elements of Gor into their play may use consensual power dynamics, with all parties involved giving explicit consent and having the ability to set boundaries and negotiate their roles and activities.

  ***Note that while some BDSM practitioners may use elements of Gor in their play, it is not a universally accepted or endorsed practice within the BDSM community. Many BDSM practitioners reject the non-consensual power dynamics and problematic portrayal of women depicted in the Gor novels, and prioritize consensual and respectful play that prioritizes the safety and well-being of all parties involved.***

Terminology

Let’s look at terminology. The Gor novels use specific terminology to describe the roles and relationships between dominant and submissive partners. Some of the common terminology used in Gor-inspired BDSM play includes: 

1. Master/Mistress: The dominant partner who has control over the submissive partner.  

2. Slave: The submissive partner who is owned and controlled by the Master/Mistress.  

3. Kajira/Kajirus: A female/male slave, respectively.  

4. Collar: A symbol of ownership worn by the submissive partner.  

5. Gorean Positions: Specific positions that a slave may be required to assume, such as the "Tower" position or the "Bara" position.  

6. Free: A person who is not a slave.  

7. Caste: A social class or group that determines an individual's status and privileges.  

8. Home Stone: A symbol of a person's identity and loyalty to their city or tribe.  

9. Silk: A term used to describe the clothing worn by slaves, which is often revealing and designed to emphasize their submission.  

10. Pleasure Slave: A slave whose primary role is to provide sexual pleasure to their Master/Mistress.  

From terms we move on to positions. One of the biggest draws to Gorean BDSM are all of the tangible, physical elements described in the books that can be lifted from the pages and put into scenes.

1. Kneeling position: This is the most common and basic position in Gorean culture. It involves kneeling with the knees spread apart and the hands resting on the thighs.  

2. Tower position: This position involves standing with the feet shoulder-width apart and the arms raised above the head, with the fingers interlocked.  

3. Pleasure slave position: This position involves kneeling with the thighs spread apart and the hands clasped behind the back. The head is tilted down, and the eyes are lowered.  

4. Tower slave position: This position is similar to the tower position, but the slave's hands are clasped behind the back.  

5. Display position: This position involves standing with the feet shoulder-width apart and the hands clasped behind the neck. The head is held high, and the chest is pushed forward.  

6. Serving position: This position involves kneeling with the knees spread apart and the hands clasped in front of the body. The head is tilted down, and the eyes are lowered.  

7. Gorean dance position: This position involves standing with the feet shoulder-width apart and the arms raised above the head. The hips are swayed from side to side in a sensual manner.  

8. Tower of defiance position: This position involves standing with the feet shoulder-width apart and the arms crossed over the chest. The head is held high, and the eyes are fixed forward.  

9. Tower of submission position: This position involves standing with the feet shoulder-width apart and the hands clasped behind the back. The head is tilted down, and the eyes are lowered.  

10. Tower of pain position: This position involves standing with the feet shoulder-width apart and the arms raised above the head. The slave's back is arched, and the head is tilted back. 

This list doesn't even scratch the surface of what's contained in the books. Many of them have fun Gorean names as well like Kneeling position is called  "Nadu" amd Tower position is called  "Talunas" 

Paces

The postures and positions are paired with walks to create something called “paces” In the Gor book series, there are several different slave paces (walks) that are used to train and discipline slaves.In Gorean “walk” translates to "Sa-eela".  Here are the slave paces from the Gor book series along with their corresponding positions and postures:  

1. The Gorean walk: This is the standard walk for a slave, characterized by short, mincing steps and a swaying of the hips. It is often used in conjunction with the "kajira position," in which the slave stands with her legs slightly apart, her hands clasped behind her back, and her head bowed.  

2. The pleasure slave walk: This is a more sensual version of the Gorean walk, with the slave moving more slowly and seductively. It is often used in conjunction with the "pleasure slave position," in which the slave kneels with her thighs spread wide and her hands clasped behind her head.  

3. The panther girl walk: This is a more aggressive and predatory walk, with the slave moving with a feline grace and a low, prowling gait. It is often used in conjunction with the "panther girl position," in which the slave crouches on all fours, with her head down and her back arched.  

4. The tower walk: This is a slow and dignified walk, with the slave holding her head high and moving with a regal bearing. It is often used in conjunction with the "tower position," in which the slave stands with her legs together, her arms at her sides, and her head held high.  

5. The belly crawl: This is a submissive and humiliating crawl, with the slave moving on her hands and knees and dragging her belly along the ground. It is often used in conjunction with the "belly position," in which the slave lies on her stomach with her legs spread wide and her hands clasped behind her head.  

6. The high slave walk: This is a more formal and elegant walk, with the slave moving with long, graceful strides and holding her head high. It is often used in conjunction with the "high slave position," in which the slave stands with her legs together, her arms crossed behind her back, and her head held high.  

7. The chain walk: This is a walk in which the slave is chained to another slave, with both slaves moving in unison and taking small, shuffling steps. It is often used in conjunction with various positions and postures, depending on the specific task or activity being performed.

Ad infinitum...

Please understand that their are hundreds of postures, poses, walks and terms in these books there is just no way I can tell you about them all.

By this time, if you are not already a Gorean practitioner and you read all of this, you probably know way more than you ever wanted to know about Gorean BDSM or… you don't know enough and are about to go down a very interesting rabbit hole.

Either way I wish you luck on your journey and as always, warm regards,

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

A VERY brief history of BDSM in America

BDSM, an acronym for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism, is a form of sexual expression that has a rich and complex history in America. The origins of BDSM can be traced back to ancient civilizations such as the Greeks and Romans, who engaged in various forms of erotic play and power exchange. However, it wasn't until the 20th century that BDSM began to emerge as a distinct subculture in America.

One of the earliest examples of BDSM in America can be found in the works of the Marquis de Sade, a French writer who lived in the 18th century. De Sade's writings, which often depicted extreme acts of sexual violence and domination, were banned in many countries for their explicit content. However, his ideas about sexual freedom and the exploration of taboo desires would go on to influence generations of BDSM practitioners.

One of the most significant events in the history of BDSM in America was the publication of the Kinsey Reports in the 1950s. These reports, which were based on research conducted by sexologist Alfred Kinsey, helped to break down many of the taboos surrounding sexuality and paved the way for more open discussions about BDSM.

In addition in 1950s and 60s, BDSM began to gain more visibility in America through the works of artists and writers such as John Willie and Irving Klaw. These artists created images of women in bondage and other BDSM scenarios that were often sold through underground channels. While these works were controversial and often criticized for their objectification of women, they helped to establish BDSM as a legitimate form of sexual expression.

Another important figure in the history of BDSM in America was John Norman, who wrote the "Gor" series of novels in the 1960s and 1970s. These books, which were set in a fictional world where BDSM was the norm, helped to popularize BDSM and make it more acceptable to a wider audience.

The 1970s saw the emergence of the leather subculture, a group of BDSM practitioners who adopted a distinct style of dress and created their own social spaces. The leather subculture was particularly influential in San Francisco, where it helped to establish the city as a hub for BDSM activity. During this time, BDSM also began to gain more mainstream acceptance, with publications such as Playboy and Penthouse featuring articles on the topic.

One of the earliest known BDSM organizations in America was the Eulenspiegel Society, which was founded in New York City in 1971. This organization was created to provide a safe and supportive space for people who were interested in BDSM, and it helped to establish many of the norms and practices that are still used in the BDSM community today.

In the 1980s and 1990s, the BDSM community faced significant challenges from law enforcement and the legal system. Many BDSM practitioners were targeted by police and faced criminal charges for their sexual practices. This led to the creation of organizations like the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, which was founded in 1997 to advocate for the rights of BDSM practitioners.

Today, BDSM is a thriving subculture with a diverse range of participants. While it is still often stigmatized and misunderstood, BDSM has become more visible in popular culture, with movies such as Fifty Shades of Grey bringing the topic into the mainstream. However, it is important to remember that BDSM is a complex and nuanced form of sexual expression that requires communication, consent, and a deep understanding of power dynamics.

BDSM has a long and fascinating history in America that has been shaped by a variety of cultural and social factors. From the works of the Marquis de Sade to the emergence of the leather subculture, BDSM has evolved and adapted over time to become a legitimate and important form of sexual expression. While there is still much work to be done in terms of reducing stigma and promoting understanding, the future of BDSM looks bright and promising.

♠️1-SL♥️

- "The History of BDSM in America" by David Steinberg, published in Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201701/the-history-bdsm-in-america

- "A Brief History of BDSM" by Clarisse Thorn, published in The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/19/brief-history-of-bdsm

- "The History of BDSM" by Michael Castleman, published in Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201301/the-history-bdsm

- "The Origins of BDSM: A Brief History Lesson" by Sophie Saint Thomas, published in Allure: https://www.allure.com/story/history-of-bdsm

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201701/the-history-bdsm-in-america

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

Why I Laughed,

A letter to my Kitten.

I imagine that laughter was not the response you expected when you told me I should leave, but I honestly could not give you any other response. I looked at the tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to overflow as your words hung in the air. "Why? Why are you still here? Why don't you leave? You deserve better than me. I'm BROKEN." My heart ached at your words. This was not the first time we had been here, nor was it the first time you had told me that I would somehow be better off without you.

Despite the ache in my soul at the sound of those words, I stifled a bubbling laugh that rose from my deepest self. You were so earnest in your assertion that you were somehow unworthy of me, and I feared that my laughter would crush you. Still, I couldn't help but smile. It was the absurdity of it all, you see? My mind thinks in pictures, and the images it conjures when you say things like this are humorous indeed.

I pictured you as you seemed to see yourself, a tool of some kind that was broken, a shovel perhaps, with a broken handle. So there I was, listening to my broken shovel telling me to throw it away. You would laugh too if you were in my mind. Then I pictured you as I see you, an entity of inherent value. If we want to extend the tool metaphor, my mind sees that shovel as being made of solid gold. Immensely valuable for what it is, for what it's made of, regardless of how well it works for digging holes.

So now my bubbling laughter was threatening to overwhelm me because here I was, listening to a golden shovel telling me that even though it was made of precious metal, I should throw it away because its handle was broken and it couldn't dig holes. Would you not take the time to mend a tool like that? Would you not recognize that even if it NEVER digs another hole, it is worth keeping? With that much gold, it could even be reformed, shaped, and made into something new. Why on earth would I toss away something like that?

You are precious beyond anything you could ever do for me. Your value will never rely on your abilities or accomplishments. You are MINE. You are PRECIOUS. I will mend your breaks, and if need be, I will be there while the fire of life reforges you into whatever you need to be, but I WILL NOT throw you away. So that, my love, is why I laugh when you tell me I should leave.

I love you @spoiled-lil-kitten,

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“If you’re doing your job as a Dom well, your submissive is going to grow and gain confidence and display quite a bit of strength, self acceptance and pride. This does NOT mean they are becoming less yours or less submissive. In fact letting them know you are strong enough to let THEM be strong will bind them to you even further.”

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

IMPACT PLAY

Our next installment of BDSM Basics is Impact. Impact play is just what it sounds like, play that that involves striking the body with various objects, such as floggers, paddles, and whips. While it can be a thrilling and enjoyable experience for both the top and the bottom, it's important to prioritize safety to avoid serious injuries.

Here are some tips for practicing impact play safely:

1. Communication is key: Before engaging in impact play, it's essential to have a conversation with your partner about your limits, boundaries, and any medical conditions that may affect your safety. Use a safeword to indicate when you need to stop or slow down.

2. Start slow: If you're new to impact play, start with light strokes and gradually increase the intensity. This will allow your body to adjust to the sensations and prevent injuries.

3. Choose the right equipment: Use equipment that is appropriate for your skill level and experience. If you are inexperienced, avoid using objects that are too heavy or rigid, as they can cause serious injuries. Make sure that your equipment is in good condition and free from any defects.

4. Know your target areas: Certain areas of the body, such as the kidneys, spine, and neck, are more vulnerable to injuries. Avoid striking these areas and focus on the fleshy parts of the body, such as the buttocks, thighs, and back.

5. Check in regularly: During impact play, check in with your partner regularly to make sure they're comfortable and safe. Look for signs of distress, such as flinching, tensing up, or crying.

6. Aftercare: After impact play, it's important to provide aftercare to your partner. This may include cuddling, (if appropriate) hydration, and checking for any injuries. Make sure to debrief and discuss the experience to ensure that both parties are satisfied and comfortable.

Impact play can be a thrilling and enjoyable experience in BDSM, but it's important to prioritize safety to avoid serious injuries. Communication, starting slow, choosing the right equipment, knowing your target areas, checking in regularly, and providing aftercare are all essential components of safe impact play. Remember, safety always comes first in BDSM.

Regards,

♠️1-SL♥️

4/10/23

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

Unverbalized Consent and TPE Relationships.

Consent is the cornerstone of BDSM relationships. It's even more important for my Kitten and I because our lifestyle is often misunderstood and scrutinized by outsiders. We need to embody enthusiastic consent in everything we do, not only to avoid the label of “abuse” but also to help others understand and appreciate our way of life.

Recently, @spoiled-lil-kitten and I were discussing the appearance of consent in long-term BDSM relationships and marriages. We practice 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE) and are also married. From the outside looking in, our relationship may seem like a house with a perfect curb appeal. But what you don't see, what you CAN’T see, is the foundation, the wiring, and the plumbing that make it all work but, it’s there.

Our TPE is like the foundation of our house. We built it with care, negotiation, and consent. We laid every brick. We know it's there, but we don't actively think about it. No one does. It's like the wiring in the walls - we rely on it and of course we KNOW it’s there but we don't see it. Our wiring is the safeguards we put in place to ensure that we both feel safe and respected in our dynamic. They run everywhere in out relationship and make everything work but they are not exposed to be seen, even by the people living inside.

Sure, we know that outsiders, it may seem like we're just pretending or faking TPE because we have all these precautions and foresights. But we know the truth. We live with an actual total power exchange, and we have the consent and care to back it up. It's like the furniture in our house - it's there, and we use it, but we don't actively think about it.

So, is unverbalized consent possible in TPE? Yes, it is. We know that we have consented to each other's desires and needs, and we trust each other to respect our boundaries. Like the air ducts in our house - we don’t discuss them over breakfast but if they stopped working we would notice.

Consent is vital in all relationships, and it's even more important for us to embody enthusiastic consent in everything we do. So while TPE may seem like a perfect house from the outside, it's the foundation, wiring, and plumbing that make it all work. We know the consent and care that went into building our TPE, and we live with an actual total power exchange. Unverbalized consent is possible in TPE because we trust each other to respect our boundaries and desires.

As always warm regards,

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“D/s is a road not fit for everyone to travel but for those who are drawn to it’s path, it becomes a deep, nearly spiritual experience. Exploring desires and boundaries, and perhaps stretching them both. They discover new, powerful aspects of themselves and each other.”

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“In D/s there is no room for judgment or shame. Dominant AND submissive must be willing to accept each other for who they are, flaws and all. Embracing their vulnerabilities and imperfections, both can learn to grow and evolve together, forging a bond that is truly unbreakable.”

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

LEVEL UP!

What I learned about BDSM and Dominance from playing video games.

I am a nerd. There, I said it. Deal with it. I have always been a nerd. I grew up during the infancy of game consoles. I had an Atari and spent countless hours jousting on giant ostriches, defending earth from space invaders, and helping amphibians cross the street. However, it wasn't until Nintendo released the NES that I found my true passion for video games.

It came in the form of RPGs, specifically Final Fantasy. This little gem of a game took over my life. This 8-bit masterpiece consumed hours of my time and established some fundamental principles that I would draw on many years later as I found myself entering the world of BDSM and in my personal journey as a dominant.

That's right; I learned about BDSM AND Domination from a video game. Final Fantasy established the model of many RPGs that would follow and it went like this: You begin the game by selecting a generic character type. Each of them has their strengths and weaknesses. I won't bore you with the details of each type, but suffice it to say that the basic type you choose will significantly affect the way you play the rest of the game. Some characters are easier to play at first, while others are much harder at the beginning but grow very powerful as they evolve. Which brings me to the first thing I learned.

Know who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and who you want to be. You learn right away when playing RPGs is that you know nothing. Now, you can wander around pushing buttons until you figure it out, or you can play the tutorials. I will admit that the wander option does eventually get you the answers, but it's longer and much more frustrating than taking the time to watch the little 8-bit mage give you a text-based lesson on how to use items, cast spells, buy things in shops, etc. It takes a bit more time at first, but it keeps you from having to go back later and do it anyway because you encounter something you don't know how to do. Leading me to my next lesson.

Find and use the resources available. Learn from people who know what they are doing. Alright, you have your character; you know what all the buttons do. You have filled your inventory with all the items available to you at the time. Now what? Well, the King has told you that the bad guy (or whatever) has stolen/killed/is plotting to… well, you get the picture. A hero is needed, and you are it. You, however, are not much of a hero. You find this out the second you step out of the castle and get your ass handed to you by a group of imps that look like they belong on a deck of cards. You need to get stronger. In the world of video games, this means you need to LEVEL UP. To level up, you need EXP (experience), and to gain experience, you need to GRIND. Essentially, what this means is you need to go out and battle until you can't anymore, and then rest up, heal, and go back out and do it again until the monsters in the area you are in become so easy you need to move on to bigger and better monsters. Now, you don't just do this to do this. You do this because you need to be good enough to take on the next mission, which will get you that much closer to reaching your ultimate goal. As you move on, you will progress through the story until you hit a wall. The monsters are too hard to get past, and you will need to go back and train more to level up before you move on. This is how the game is played and that is how you become a great Dominant.

Don't rush in before you're ready. Your characters (people) get hurt. Mastering skills takes time, patience, and repetition. Yes, it's boring, but it's necessary.

You're never done learning and growing. Now, you have all the best equipment, you have leveled up your team of heroes, and you have mastered your skills. Things that challenged you to no end in the beginning are now cakewalks that you pass right over. It is time to storm the enemy stronghold and defeat the final BOSS. Guess what? It's still challenging. You will still have to carefully stock your resources, manage your health, make good choices, and that last battle will be long and grueling. You might fail over and over until you finally defeat it and get to the credits.

The final lesson? It's never going to be easy. It's not meant to be. It wouldn't be fun. It wouldn't be rewarding if it was. When it's all said and done, the game asks you: “Do you want to continue?" Do you want to go back into the world and pick up all the side quests you missed, explore areas you passed by on your way?

Well, do you?

Regards,

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“I think Dominants sometimes mistake the role needed when their submissive is facing a storm. They think that they need to lash her to the dock to keep her from being lost out to sea. This is not the case. She has the skills to sail and a strong anchor. What she needs is a rock to sink that anchor in until the storm passes.”

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“Mine”. I can think of no other word that has the same properties. It requires your presence to have any value. “Mine”, when written down and left alone, has no meaning to the next person who encounters it, however, “Mine” when spoken by the claimant in the presence of said possession, is truly one of the most powerful words in our language.

♠️1-SL♥️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

BDSM in Pop Culture

BDSM, has been a topic of fascination in pop culture for decades. However, it wasn't until the 20th century that it began to emerge as a distinct subgenre of erotica. The rise of erotic literature in the late 20th century paved the way for BDSM-themed literature to become more mainstream, with books like The Story of O, The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, and Exit to Eden introducing BDSM to a wider audience and breaking down some of the stigma surrounding kink.  In the 1980s and 1990s, BDSM literature became even more mainstream, with authors like Anne Rice and her pseudonym Anne Rampling exploring BDSM in their novels. These books worked to further break down the stigma surrounding kink expand the audience even more.  In recent years, BDSM has become even more visible in pop culture, thanks in large part to the success of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise. While the books and movies have been criticized for their inaccurate portrayal of BDSM, they have also helped to bring kink into the mainstream and spark a wider interest in the world of BDSM.  

Other movies and TV shows have also explored BDSM in various ways. For example, the TV show Billions features a BDSM relationship between two of its main characters, with a clear D/s dynamic on display. The show has been praised for its realistic portrayal of kink and its exploration of the power dynamics involved in BDSM relationships.  Similarly, the movie The Duke of Burgundy explores the relationship between two women engaged in a BDSM relationship. The movie has also found praise for its nuanced portrayal of BDSM and its exploration of the emotional and psychological aspects of kink.  Netflix's Bonding follows a dominatrix and her gay best friend as they navigate the world of BDSM in New York City. The show is liked for its realistic portrayal of kink and its exploration of the power dynamics involved in BDSM relationships. There are less mainstream independent films like Secretary that have definitely done their part as well in making BDSM known to many. And let’s not forget iconic BDSM scenes in other genres,  like the "Gimp" scene in Pulp Fiction. These movies and scenes have sparked conversations about power dynamics and sexual desire, and have helped mainstream visibility of BDSM.

The BDSM community has had mixed reactions to the portrayal of BDSM in pop culture, particularly in the media portals mentioned above. While some members of the community appreciate the increased visibility and acceptance of kink, others feel that the media often perpetuates harmful stereotypes and inaccuracies about BDSM.  One of the main criticisms of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise is that it portrays BDSM as abusive and non-consensual, which is not an accurate representation of the community. Many BDSM practitioners emphasize the importance of consent and communication in their relationships, and view BDSM as a consensual and empowering form of sexual expression. Some members of the community feel that the media's portrayal of BDSM as abusive or violent can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and contribute to the stigmatization of kink.  However, others in the community appreciate the increased visibility that the franchise has brought to BDSM. Some feel that the mainstream success of Fifty Shades of Grey has helped to break down some of the stigma surrounding kink and has opened up conversations about BDSM in a way that was previously taboo.  Similarly, the BDSM community has had mixed reactions to other media portals, such as Billions and The Duke of Burgundy. While some members of the community appreciate the nuanced and realistic portrayal of BDSM in these shows, others feel that they still perpetuate harmful stereotypes or fail to accurately represent the diversity of the community.  

The intersection of BDSM and pop culture is a fascinating and complex topic. While representations of BDSM in pop culture may not always be accurate or realistic, they have helped to break down some of the stigma surrounding kink and to bring it into the mainstream. The BDSM community's reaction to the portrayal of kink in pop culture has been multifaceted. While some appreciate the increased visibility and acceptance of BDSM, others feel that the media often perpetuates harmful stereotypes and inaccuracies about the community. I think it’s fair to say that in the end as BDSM continues to be explored in pop culture, it is likely that we will see even more nuanced and realistic portrayals of kink in the years to come. And I’d say that's a good thing.

♠️1-SL❤️

4/5/23

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

"Sadistic Love"

Do not ask me for mercy, I have none

Do not believe your tears will stay my hand, they will not.

Do not not pray for salvation, I am the only god here and your cries of pain are my incense burning on the altar that is your body.

I WILL use you. I WILL hurt you. You WILL scream.

When it’s done, when you are quivering and spent on the floor at my feet. Then you WILL crawl to me and BEG me for more.

I am a sadist. This IS how I love…

♠️1-SL❤️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“Dominance and submission relations closely mimic those of the circus lion and its tamer. The tamer may hold the whip and tell the lion what to do but the lion is the star of the show. Without the lion, the tamer is nothing but a man in a silly costume holding a whip.”

♠️1-SL❤️

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

♠️1-SL❤️’s Blog Navigation

ASKS ARE WECOME.

If you’re on the app use the 💬 button. Up there⬆️

Featured Asks:

Poems:

“The Exception”

“The Simple Truth”

“Breathe”

“You Are Not Too Much”

“When Your Demons Play With Mine”

“When I say You're Mine"

"Sadistic Love"

 

 

Personal Articles (Opinion Pieces):

My Real Kink

Under NOT Less Than, Hidden NOT Weak

She has to own YOU First

 

Blog Articles:

Everyone deserves respect and acceptance

Subspace

Consent: Part I

Consent: Part II

The Different Types of BDSM

What is BDSM and How Does it Work?

BDSM in Pop Culture

 

Humor (I Hope):

“If Dr. Seuss were a Polyamorous Dom”

 

Short Stories and Erotica:

To Dance with her Devils

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“You’re not broken. Life has made of you a puzzle. A beautiful work of art that takes time, patience and skill to put together but in the end is worth every effort.”

♠️1-SL❤️