#but it’s funny to see people bend over backwards to say that critics are being unfair to the show

[marisatomay]

I’m reading reviews for the new season of IWTV (very excited. highly recommend the first season.) and they all allude to this Problem with a good chunk of the second half of the season and it’s kind of freeing to know that every iteration of IWTV will just have this inherent flaw where—no matter how you work it or how talented the other actors are or how compelling you make Louis or Armand or Claudia or Daniel—Lestat still disappears for part of the story and it kills the vibe because he is the driving force for conflict and you need conflict to make a story Go

[the1975attheirverybest]

All I'm saying is all the "good taylor has done has always somehow financially benefitted her. And while yes money is a factor in our world when her fans property up these things she's done they always ignore the immediate benefit it serves for her. Or the ling term benefits. For example charity? 1 excellent pr and 2 very common technique for those with money to have tax write offs in the US.

Calls to causes? Does more harm than good because her fans are rabid and don't know what they're doing; sure some good comes from it but not before the whole thing I'd diluted and devalued. And she gains 1 more devotion 2 more pr and 3 a whole new demographic to access.

Everything taylor has done has always been to her immediate benefit. There has been nothing she has stood for a believed in that had even a neutral effect.

Yeah that’s what I said when they were like “oh how dare you say she doesn’t stand up for Palestinians. Didn’t you see she went to a benefit?” Ummm I DID SEE! And she WANTS YALL TO SEE. Because the internet has been calling her own for being silent for quite a while. This is clearly her PR response to that. PLUS she had Selena Gomez with her, who just two days prior, was getting negative press for going off on people who told her to give a shit about Palestine. Coincidence????!!!

Funny how they will bend over backwards trying to decide Easter eggs when it comes to her music but will somehow lose all critical thinking when it’s time to critique her unethical practices.

[alivehouse]

just wondering why you dislike Neil gaiman so much?? not trying to criticize or defend him, just curious

gghhhhh

(this is all just going to be based on good omens related stuff bc i havent really willingly interacted with any other work of his since i was like 12 he is not a great writer imo)

ok before i get into why specifically the way he uses his socials annoys me so much i just want to mention that good omens (tv show) has a serious problem with treating its characters of color poorly/as disposable (which this post goes into) and as far as i know neil has never so much as acknowledged this let alone apologize for it so theres that

but as for why i hate his social media presence specifically so much i just think the way he interacts with his fanbase is annoying & i dont want to use the term 'gaslighting' for something this stupid but i dont even know how else to describe his habit of like. pretending he wrote aziraphale and crowley in a relationship for the sake of clout?

^ he used to regularly regularly say condescending no homo shit like this but then when he realized he could get attention for pretending he wrote queer characters he pulled a 180 and started going 'ohhhh i DID write them in a relationship actually and also trans and also nonbinary i cant believe you didnt GET it just because its SUBTLE im sorry half assed vaguely subtextual scene #5 was not enough for you stupid fa- i mean people'

and he does this shit constantlyyyy and gets no flack for it. in fact a lot of his fanbase encourages it even bc were still stuck on begging for word of god scraps from rich straight men instead of engaging with work made by actual queer people i guess. (ALSO THIS TWEET SPECIFICALLY IS REALLY FUNNY bc like a month later he lied about there being a secret handholding scene in the show to send people on a wild goose chase zooming in on shit trying to find anything just to give him more streams i guess i dont know i think it was a stupid thing to even fall for honestly but it still strikes me as kind of cruel)

i mentioned this in tags before & idk if he still does this but he used to go look up his own name on here to find people talking negatively about him so he could reblog it and get them dogpiled which is why you see people talking negatively about him calling him 'neilman' so much instead of his actual searchable name. literal full grown man picking fights with random people on here bc he knows hell win since hes a famous author and will get backed up no matter what

and ok this is edging into fandom circlejerking (i think hes only said this one a few times but his fanbase brings it up constantly to shield him from any criticisms) so i wont go into this as much as i could but theres this Thing hell do where he says they cant be gay bc they technically arent men bc they arent humans (based on a bit in the book where they feel the need to specify that aziraphale is NOT ACTUALLY GAY after continuously subjecting him to homophobic language/aggression) and people will bend over backwards trying to interpret this as meaning they are canon nonbinary and Epic Trans Rep and hell vaguely encourage this instead of like acknowledging the extended man-in-a-dress evil nanny bit in the show and pointing out that it was fucked up? & honestly the whole undertone of that is like 'this character might go out of their way to look like and dress like and act like and refer to himself as a man but he cant REALLY be a man because he wasnt Created That Way' like how the fuck am i supposed to be treating this as a trans positive read of the situation lmao. not to mention the 'inhuman = nonbinary,' 'nonbinary = CANT be gay!!! there are no gay nonbinary people i guess' legwork going on here going on here i dont know its a whole mess

PLUS i just think its funny that hes said making characters gay would be disrespectful to his deceased cowriter but pulling an entire second out of his ass for that sweet amazon money apparently isnt lmao

and to finish this off just for fun heres him at the start of the pandemic when there was a crazy high rising death toll making it about his fucking book, + him answering another ask in response to that AFTER he had deleted the original post, to make the person asking him look like they were attacking him for no reason:

[house-of-the-dragon-fanworks]

HOTD thoughts so far

I haven’t read the book, but so far it is funny to see all the people (the viewers) bending over backwards to discredit Rhaenyra and her children in favor of putting Aegon ii - a weak, lazy, bully, drunkard, and rapist (probably more I missed) - on the throne instead of her for basically having consensual sex and children out of wedlock and lying about it... children who seem well educated, well behaved, and conscience of their duty and position... and basically being raised by a loving, blended family - where the alternative choices were ... not.

Honestly, it is sad to see people genuinely debating online and thinking that having sex out of marriage makes her unfit to rule, that not having ‘married’ parents somehow creates tainted kids unfit to rule or inherit, and not considering the actual people they are propping up in their place... GRRM isn’t even being subtle in this statement, the ‘bastard’ kids are shown as reasonably ‘good’ and well raised, their uncles are very problematic, and basically everything that could potentially go wrong with blind adherence to patriarchic hereditary rule, and their sister seems sweet, but a strong ruler she is not...

And I say ‘blind adherence’ because this is still a feudalistic society, I’m not going to waste time criticize the entire system as for the times it was probably the defacto best solution, any modern changes would take changes to society as well, and that requires a lot more societal development that just isn’t realistic at this time...  but selecting the best of your children / grandchildren as your successor that would best rule after you seems like a good common sense solution that could mitigate the number to terrible rulers than following the - he is a legitimate first born boy child so we have no other choice but to crown him and make him king.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

[woundjob]

good morning was flipping thru the lindsay ellis tag for context as to what she did this time and my god. people will bend over backwards to defend extremely wealthy white women from the savage enraged mobs of… poc critiquing them online.

i get that when people don’t like your favorite internet celebrity it can be upsetting or feel like a personal attack against you (surely lindsay ellis, my idol, is not racist, IM not racist and i like her very much!!) but it’s really funny how when a white lady says something racist online there are like VASTLY more “angry mobs” defending her than there are critiquing her

this happens like literally every time a white lady on the internet receives any criticism, from natalie “trans people are only valid if they’re normal” winn to jenny “still has me and a bunch of other black people blocked for critiquing her” nicholson and honestly it’s sad on all accounts. firstly and most importantly because the audiences of these white ladies absolutely refuse to listen to people of color for even a nanosecond despite claiming to be leftists of some kind, and secondly because these women will never have the chance to grow. if you keep defending them when they make mistakes, especially when those mistakes are Being Racist, they get coddled and are allowed to believe they’re always right. nobody’s going to learn anything that way

the other thing to keep in mind here is that these women have not been ~cancelled~ in any meaningful way, no matter how much they say they have. i know for a fact that lindsay ellis and natalie winn (idk about jenny nicholson because again, she has me blocked) make at the very least 10k a month on patron. that’s more money than i reasonably will ever see. thats literally over 100k a year. that’s like 300$ a day, or 60$ an hour working a 40 hour workweek. except, you know, they don’t work. they make youtube videos about why trans people have to be respectful to cis people or why stephanie meyer is good actually.

just to drive this point home, when you defend these women, you’re defending people who have gotten incredibly wealthy off of doing next to nothing, whose lives haven’t changed in any meaningful way from people liking them less, and the people who like them less are not the angry mob that they have made them out to be, we’re just people of color talking about how they’re being uh, typical white ladies. you’re goofy, theyre goofy, i’m done talking about this now. honestly if they’re that sad about it, they can wipe their tears with dollar bills.

[tobi-smp]

i guess the thing that absolutely Baffles me is when people say "c!dream sympathetic" as if it can only be this helpless, dumbing-down brand of woobifying, and then everything else is critical at best or demonization at worst. because there is a way to view c!dream sympathetically while actually sticking to canon text, at least imo. like c!dream is a really interesting character when he's not being twisted into whatever image the reader wants to justify their pre-existing bias and it's very possible to sympathize with him by understanding his warped but ultimately logical perspective while not... "philza spoonfeeds him"-ing him. it just seems like an exhausting way to enjoy the character.

oh absolutely, it's layers upon layers of absolutely Baffling ways to interact with not only dream as a character, but fandom in General.

I had an unpleasant interaction with a dream apologist not too long ago and when I went to their blog to block them the first thing I saw was a post they'd made along the lines of "wouldn't it be funny if sad-ist liked c!dream," not if she was a dream apologist but if she liked him as a character. and it just, made me absolutely choke laughing.

genuinely there's a section of dream apologists Completely Convinced that in order to like a character you have to bend over backwards to justify everything that they do, and if you recognize a character as a villain then you must not like them.

and again, you'll see this idea floating in apologist spaces where people will talk as if other fans create content that they don't like to Spite them rather than because they enjoy it. people getting angry over fans for making meta dissecting dream's character because Obviously No One Likes Making Or Reading It so it's Got to just be to make them angry. or more recently people insisting that people are Only drawing horror themed art of dream to make dream apologists mad because Obviously people don't just enjoy horror art, they want to make c!dream look bad.

dream apologists live in a weird bubble of denial where they create the rules that washes over everything, from canon to word of god to common sense, and it would seem a portion of them assume that everyone consumes media (and Specifically the dream smp) exactly like they do, and that anyone putting their time into making something they don't like (something that makes dream look bad) Must be doing it out of spite and nothing else.

they'll watch sadist spend Hours lavishly animating dream, going out of their way to frame him as cool as possible, and assume that she Doesn't Like Him because he's framed as the villain. and that some fantasy world where she Did like him would mean that she'd be like them.

they twist literally everything and everyone to be what they Think it is and it's, anywhere from fascinating to hilarious to horrifying depending on the time of day. I wish to study them

none of this is even getting into how the woobification nits itself in with ableism to an Uncomfortable degree, but that's a whole other can of worms innit

[omegafrisk]

so i have some criticisms of berdly

ok so i wanna get my thoughts on berdly out in public because the way people have started talking about him after chapter 2 is making me very uncomfortable. apologies for the length of this!

a lot of people have warmed to berdly after chapter 2, but personally i have nothing but criticism for his writing. from his introduction he's been coded like a baby misogynist dudebro. every part of how he talks echoes that subculture. i can't even call it parody because that's literally how these people are.

i've seen people say it's wrong to call him a misogynist or transphobe because he doesn't overtly speak that way in the text, but i seriously object to that. he's a fictional character; toby fox doesn't write microaggressions. he's artificially sanitised because he's not real while otherwise word-for-word echoing the sentiments of real bigots. a man who, let's be honest with ourselves, was likely intended by the author to be cis calling himself superior to everyone is kind of inherently going to fall into misogyny and transphobia. yes, berdly is a child, but so are the people around him and around real people like that who are hurt by his beliefs and actions.

being a child, berdly is of course capable of growth, but he isn't even given the opportunity to do that. he's the butt of every joke and humiliated a bunch, but noelle never gets a chance to properly stand up to him. yeah, she chokes him out for saying he has a crush on susie, but she doesn't get to confront him for how cruel he's been to her or to others in the same way she gets to confront the queen as a standin for her mother.

berdly is right back to his old self once the chapter ends with minimal growth because he spent the chapter learning almost nothing. not even queen tells him off, we just get the running gag (which is hilarious, don't get me wrong) of her avoiding him. of course there's still the opportunity for growth in future chapters, but i think that's extremely poor pacing on toby's part when he's introduced an actual bigot into his story.

berdly is far from the only example of toby poorly representing real-world harm in this chapter. just look at him bending over backwards to defend hometown's police and defang king spades with a "haha, he wasn't THAT bad see everyone? he's funny and he was totally bluffing! queen likes him she's cool!" and, of course, acting like being imprisoned has made king spades way better. these are all completely unnecessary narrative decisions.

because that's the thing about berdly - he didn't HAVE to be like this. his narrative role of being a bit of a jerk who's tied up in noelle's backstory could easily be filled without touching on that. you can be a stuck up prick without echoing real bigoted sentiments.

a character can be a bad person while still being a good character, but i absolutely object to the idea that berdly can be counted as that. he's just unpleasant. quite frankly, i find the fact that so many people like him suddenly because he's kind of sort of trying a bit and might possibly try more in the future disturbingly similar to how people treat real bigoted men when they show the slightest sign of any kind of improvement, too. remember that post that went around about that incel who started healing from depression after learning to take care of shrimp, who called his uncle a homophobic slur in the post and never mentioned no longer viewing women as inferior...?

i guess my point is that sometimes you have to look outside a text to understand a character. or, really, all the time. characters exist in the context of how they reflect the real world. writers you like a lot can do things poorly. #ReplaceBerdlyWithAnOC20k21

[amitds]

so I lurked through an old/inactive Tumblr Blog which was extremely critical of Naruto(both the character and manga) and only liked a select few characters,and funnily enough I agreed with most of their critiques about story being incoherent/inconsistent/incohesive and the supposed main bond of the story- naruto/sasuke - being poorly done,etc but they also said that team7/sannin parallels shown in the war arc were bs as the hype for sannin had not been kept consistent throughout the story in terms of feats(they were pro sakura but said her equalling sasuke and naruto was bullshit as they were too op), I know you have shown us through databooks and manga statements that she was indeed equal and she meant what she said but if we look at only manga feats and background(outside hype),can you justify her equivalence to SN duo, I mean kishimoto says in his interviews that he had planned to give her an arc but ditched it for god knows what reason...also can you explain her emotional plot relevance and do you think it's needed/positive,I mean there are many retconned things in this manga that elevate stagnant,minor and blank canvas(eg:rin) characters to plot importance(he also retconned Itachi so..) so I would like to know how sakura,a dynamic and major character effects the plot!! I know this ask was all over the place but I would really love to know your thoughts here,if you wish you could make a post on this or maybe ignore this altogether if you feel this is unneeded!!! Thank you!

“so I lurked through an old/inactive Tumblr Blog which was extremely critical of Naruto(both the character and manga) and only liked a select few characters,and funnily enough I agreed with most of their critiques about story being incoherent/inconsistent/incohesive and the supposed main bond of the story- naruto/sasuke - being poorly done,etc but they also said that team7/sannin parallels shown in the war arc were bs as the hype for sannin had not been kept consistent throughout the story in terms of feats(they were pro sakura but said her equalling sasuke and naruto was bullshit as they were too op),”

I don’t understand that sannin part. Are they saying the sannin’s hype hasn’t been consistent as in they were not portrayed as equals throughout the manga? Are they basing this strictly on feats? If so then they are mistaken and are, like so many, mixing loud Western fandumb talking points ( eg.OROCHIMARU IS THE STRONGEST SANNIN. TSUNADE CAN ONLY PUNCH AND HEAL) with the actual canon series where from what I read the sannin have always had consistent hype (outside of Itachi’s statement which can be due to him being secretly good and for the village). 

It’s always: 

It takes a sannin to beat a sannin

The power of a sannin

Each of the sannin have special powers

I’m one of the sannin (Orochimaru said this in the present Boruto timeline to hype himself)

He’s one of the sannin 

Like what’s not clicking for these people?

Tsunade had chakra reserves comparable to a tailed beast with her seal, regeneration like Hashirama and her super strength affected incomplete susanoo and was beyond the raikage’s when he was lightened by Onoki ,according to Madara himself. Are those feats not comparable in these fans’ minds to Jiraiya’s incomplete sage mode with his odama rasengan that couldn’t break through a susanoo rib cage when naruto used it vs Madara or Orochimaru’s featless 8 branches technique? 

DATABOOK SUPPORT:

The thing is, Sakura equaling them was not bullshit. First of all it is the author who makes the power scaling, not us. So this ‘rule’ wherein Sakura CANNOT equal EMS Sasuke and KCM Naruto in skill and power because fans view them as too OP is ridiculous. 

They were not AS overpowered as the fandom makes them out to be. The same people who say they were so overpowered etc. are the same ones who argued that Sasuke was still under Itachi even when he got EMS vs Itachi’s MS. Lol! The same people don’t want to admit that Edo Minato is stronger or a little weaker than KCM Naruto. So you’re telling me someone above the sannin and alive Minato cannot be on par with someone </= Itachi or >/= Edo Minato, especially when the author says it? 

Do they think EMS Sasuke and KCM Naruto were Hashirama leveled? No? Okay then what’s the issue with someone above the sannin, Hiruzen and Alive Minato being on their level? Why can’t someone above the sannin and alive Minato not be comparable to Edo Minato and KCM Naruto? 

It also doesn’t help their point when we remember that while EMS Sasuke and KCM Naruto were struggling along with Edo Minato, Tobirama and Hiruzen vs Obito, that Sakura was healing the army and giving it chakra. So we never got to see her fight at full power with the boys after she equaled them in skill and power (her taijutsu and medical prowess). This makes the claim that she couldn’t and didn’t equal them even more unfounded. 

They talk about lack of feats for her equaling them but actually there’s lack of feats for her not. I mean we didn’t ever see her at full power after this AND when we did see her with them again they were Gods facing off against Madara and she was low on chakra. 

“I know you have shown us through databooks and manga statements that she was indeed equal and she meant what she said but if we look at only manga feats and background(outside hype),can you justify her equivalence to SN duo, I mean kishimoto says in his interviews that he had planned to give her an arc but ditched it for god knows what reason..."

Well I don’t personally feel that we need to find feats to justify something that already has been stated and shown as fact i.e. if Sakura and Kishi say she’s on par with them, the fandumb doesn’t have to power to invalidate this by their stupid explosion watching, physics calculations or vs hypotheticals BUT since I actually do like to debunk people soundly I’ll bite. 

Sakura doesn’t have feats in a particular battle per se however, even if we totally ignore the databook entries about her equaling them:

Sakura’s strength is beyond Tsunade and Ei’s which they used on incomplete susanoo. EMS Sasuke uses an incomplete susanoo. That is a direct comparison between their abilities. Even if we want to argue that Sasuke’s incomplete susanoo was above the ones Tsunade/Ei broke and fought, Sakura’s strength is beyond theirs so where does that leave us? Her strength while not at its zenith was able to break Kaguya’s horn and injure here more severely (she had a swollen eye) than God leveled Naruto’s physical strength boosted by the 5 tails power to give ‘unparalleled strength). 

DATABOOK SUPPORT:

Sakura reacted to Kaguya’s chakra arms and evaded for a while, while low on chakra. Kaguya’s chakra arms were stated by God Naruto to be super fast and he warned God Sasuke about it, to which he agreed. This is Sasuke who could teleport and Naruto with Minato like speed or above, so... 

With Sakura’s seal she was able to heal and army and give it chakra 2 times (2nd time with Tsunade) and then she had enough chakra by the time she needed to help save Sasuke. She had more chakra while low and nearly depleted than one of God Naruto’s clones. She was able to fuel Obito completely on her own even though Naruto’s clone went with them to help give chakra and Sakura, as I said, was low on chakra. 

With the seal Sakura and Tsunade were able to access the byakugo no jutsu which, acc. to Madara and DB 4 is similar to Hashirama’s healing ability. In fact DB 4 explains in detail that Hashirama’s ability is due to his massive chakra reserves which Tsunade lacked. Therefore she needed the seal to access regeneration for a long time like him. Sakura boasted that she doesn’t use chakra from her seal 24/7 to keep her body young. This gives Sakura 2 abilties comparable to Hashirama i.e. chakra reserves and regeneration. 

It should be noted that Hashirama himself said that KCM Naruto had almost as much chakra as he did so Sakura’s seal granting her comparable chakra reserves to Hashirama also puts her reserves in this ball park in the original series. So this is another direct comparison to one of the boys. Along with Sasuke’s susanoo and her strength, we have Sakura and KCM Naruto’s chakra reserves being compared to Hashirama’s in the databook and manga, respectively. 

I think it’s funny that Sakura has 2 abilities/powers/characteristics that are comparable to Hashirama’s most notable ones (chakra reserves and regeneration) and which are beyond Tsunade’s versions of them, and people (not you) think it’s a gotcha question to ask what feats/powers she has that compares to EMS Sasuke and KCM Naruto (even though a lot of feat comparisons are SUBJECTIVE, even mine here). 

Keep in mind that these feats are not from her actually fighting and only supplement Kishi in the databooks and the manga and Sakura stating and showing that she was equal to Naruto and Sasuke when she got her seal. 

What I usually ask people when they come with the whole ‘she never caught up to them’ BS is:

How can you prove it?

What feats do you see that proves that she wasn’t on par with them?

What statements are there to prove this? 

Then you see people bend over backwards to pass off opinions about blaze release, odama rasenshuriken and ‘punching’. It’s hilarious. 

“also can you explain her emotional plot relevance and do you think it's needed/positive,I mean there are many retconned things in this manga that elevate stagnant,minor and blank canvas(eg:rin) characters to plot importance(he also retconned Itachi so..) so I would like to know how sakura,a dynamic and major character effects the plot!! I know this ask was all over the place but I would really love to know your thoughts here,if you wish you could make a post on this or maybe ignore this altogether if you feel this is unneeded!!! Thank you!”

I don’t really feel the need to go into detail with this. Simply put IMO.

Sakura deserved better.

She deserved a unique power along with her powers surpassing Tsunade (genjutsu + slug sage mode)

Sakura, and even Kakashi, IMO should have played a more important role in Sasuke’s redemption. 

Sakura should have gotten her own arc(s) like fucking Shikamaru a side character, did. 

Sakura IMO didn’t need to be like Rin, Itachi or Minato or any side to affect the plot. I am fine with her getting more fights and helping Naruto and Kakashi more along with having more of a role in bringing Sasuke back being what gave her plot importance. I don’t need a big back story for her. Just more missions and maybe some of what Kakashi got?

[phoexin]

An update

So, this is a long shot... but I had some inspiration earlier today- and a tiny little wiggly feeling that told me I should pop in.

I’m going to try and post a semi-blog recounting of the past few years... a catch-up I daresay.

All my journals have been neglected, but daily stories are shared whenever possible.

So let’s go back.. way back... all the way back to 2014..

It is funny how when you look back through the years it is difficult to tell how much is reality and how much is an emotional lens. It is also easy to forget that in 2014, I was only 21. My brain hadn’t even finished developing. As harsh as I want to view myself, I also understand that the mistakes I made, and the mistakes people I cared about made were in part due to inexperience and age.

In 2014 I was hurt. I was hit with the concern that someone I loved couldn’t be trusted. The thing that I had truly thought I didn’t need to worry about, came up and slapped me in the face and turned me around.

It wasn’t just the trust though. I wasn’t completely sure of my sexuality, or my direction. I wasn’t sure what I wanted or needed. I am not free of fault, and sometimes in my reflection I cringe at the monster I feel I was. Not considerate enough, not appreciative enough. By 2015 I was walking into work terrified everyday. Some days I was barely eating, taking classes, working three jobs. I went from not understanding how much socializing I needed, in a desperate attempt to drown myself with outside stimuli, hating my own thoughts and silence.. to eventually being with someone who pushed me to achieve and do better. That seemed amazing, it motivated me. I was really blind however to the fact that while there was motivating, there was also restricting going on. I couldn’t go to certain places, talk to certain people, do certain things. I had to put up with callousness, a lack of care in certain things, an apathy. While previous years had been sprinkled with beautiful poetry written on coffee sleeves, compliments were now in a period of severe drought. “it goes without saying” was all I could get when I sought one to quench my thirst.

I dealt with trying to solve a rising desire to harm myself, with the fact that my partner was also completely unwilling to help me quell concerns as they rose.

I transitioned from three jobs to mostly one, working in an environmental center that allowed me to educate the public and kids about ecosystems and animals. I also got to work really closely with those animals. Management changes made things chaotic throughout the year. From a supervisor who accused me of verbally accosting her, (me bringing up concerns I had in what I had felt was a very tactful way), to a manager who actively tried preventing me from making friends with coworkers. I eventually was able to get a position doing something I’d started dreaming of doing- working in a National Park.

I was a Community Engagement Intern. I helped prep things for engagement fairs, I worked in a visitor center, I led tours. In fact, I stayed working in that park for over three years. I loved it. I loved my coworkers. I had the opportunity to apply for a uniform position, and got it. I worked as an education ranger for 8 months, happy to be making decent money, with insurance, in the place I loved. During this time I was able to shadow researchers, build amazing friendships, get Red-Carded for fighting wildland fires, even getting onto the instagram of Nat Geo! I also took python catching training, water ditching and survival training, and led tours for some important groups out in the park.

When my season came to an end- a new possibility was on the horizon. A permanent position had opened up, in the office I had worked in for over three years, with the people I knew so well. I thought I was perfectly poised to get it, completely eligible, obviously invested.

On my last day, as I did my exit interview- my supervisor dropped a bomb on my view of my experience. After 8 months, she decided to criticize me on something she had noticed early on and NEVER mentioned to me.

My enthusiasm, my excitement, my drive to help connect others and share my experiences in the park- came off to her as smugness. That I was trying to one-up everyone else, that I thought I knew better than everyone else.

My one place jumping to answer questions (when I had almost never raised my hand throughout the history of my education) came off in a negative way.

Instead of pulling me aside and discussing this with me- she waited 8 months to bring it up.

When I walked out of the interview, it felt like my entire career of bending over backwards- helping others with their projects, keeping the spaces I worked immaculately cleaned, always offering assistance that went beyond to guests, was nothing.

When I stopped by a few days later to see a tour led by a ranger I had been begging to get a tour from, he let me know something came up that had to cancel our plans. As I stood in the visitor center wondering what I was going to do, another ranger who had been in that season excitedly exclaimed he had gotten the permanent I had been dying for.

When I left- I didn’t want to return.

That was in July of 2017.  That March I had finally ended the relationship that was beginning to really wear on me. Instead of being a motivator during a time I was struggling to train for the pack test, my “partner” had been insulting me, accusing me, and generally dragging me down.

When we broke up I did many of the things he had told me I “wasn’t allowed” to do. I bought a concert ticket and saw a concert of one of my favorite artists alone. I flew to Boston alone and stayed with a college friend, exploring the city through public transit, volunteering at a Breaking Benjamin concert with Reverb. In July I had begun getting close to a researcher who worked in another local park... and began planning a trip to Thailand with a friend and coworker.

I’ll tell you more about Thailand later... maybe even include a couple shots of my journey.

With love,

Liz/Ellie

[soft-ris]

HI FRIEND, FOR THE CP: (such a cute idea btw!!!) let me see if i get this right...i cut it short but i have curly hair, dark dark brown but with some really cool natural blonde highlights. i have bluish-silver eyes and i think nice lips, and am around 5'7" (174 cm i think?). i am a WRITER to the core, super creative, ideas hit me 24/7. i really love history and would love to visit ruins someday. movie junkie. i'm sarcastic but like to think to think i'm also funny! I'LL BE 🐄 I HAVE ONE MORE 😫

OKAY ITS 🐄 AGAIN. as i said i really love making people laugh and writing poetry for people. i'm very selfless but often to a major fault lol, not very good at taking care of myself a lot. self esteem? DON'T KNOW HER. but hey, i kinda enjoy cooking, and i really love reading!! (IS THIS OVERSHARING) since we only have jojo in common my top 3 are risotto🖤, DIO⚰ and Jonathan🗡 :^) thank you AGAIN an i hope you have an absolutely wonderful day my dood

———————————————————————

Cupid’s Pick for your match made in heaven is...

...Jonathan!

———————————————————————

I'm very selfless but often to a major fault lol. Not very good at taking care of myself a lot. Self-esteem? DON'T KNOW HER.

The MAIN reason I chose Jonathan was because of this. Jonathan’s a whole gentleman (I mean he basically strived to be one). Kind and sweet and positive and has a heart bigger than both his boobs and ass cheeks combined. He would be the best match up for you because his affirmations and positive attitude and sweetness would be like to honey to your tea, the sugar to your coffee, the whipped cream to your strawberry. He’s the best (out of the characters you’ve given me) in reassuring you. And because of his personality and disposition, you’d be well taken care of (physically especially). Your self-esteem would also flourish because there’s no doubt that he loves you and only you (romantically), and he’d remind and show you for as long as he’s with you. He’d also appreciate your selflessness the most because he’s always out there being selfless, so having it be done to him is just a big uwu for him. I feel like that’s how he shows his devotion and love, and so your selflessness is just top notch in catching his heart. But when you take it too far, he will reign you back in. He may scold you, but you’ll know it’s because he means well and he doesn’t want to see you hurt or exhausted. He’s sincere in that sense, and because of that, you know he means it when he tells you he loves you, when he calls you beautiful, when he says you own his heart and soul because you actually do. In the long-term, I see his personality just helping you improve your self-esteem and self-care and selflessness naturally.

While I was tempted to match you up with Risotto, Jonathan ultimately won out because I do not see him (Ris) doing as well with this aspect of yours (compared to big boy Jonathan).  He can translate your selflessness to either being a pushover (when you bend yourself backwards for others, and he’s disapproving of that because he believes you should respect yourself more and may even take you under his wing instead of his bedsheets lol) OR he can interpret this as either your loyalty to him (when you bend yourself backwards for him). With the latter, he may end up taking advantage of it sometimes. This is because I believe he’s so used to having things taken away from him or not having enough of something, so he may subconsciously demand more of you in some manifestation of greed. So you’d end up giving more, he’d end up taking more, and it’s just not a good balance. ESPECIALLY if you say you’re not good at taking care of yourself. I’m not saying he won’t take care of you if you two are dating, but I also think he needs someone who can essentially function well without him (since he’s so busy and has a lot on his plate and can’t always be there for you; I’m not saying you’re a burden bc you’re not, I’m just saying Ris has a lot going on and he doesn’t want to be the reason for your decline in health and mental state if y’all were dating bc he wasn’t there and he will beat himself up over it).

The biggest reason I didn’t pair you up with DIO specifically is because I feel like he would 1000000000000000000000% take advantage of this. He’s not above that and he most likely will not feel remorse for that. Hell, he would 100% enjoy utilizing your disposition to his advantage, and in the long-term (hell, even in short-term), that’s not good for you and your health at all. As shown countless times before, he relishes in power and does not enjoy it when people are of equal or higher standing than him. And because of that, I feel like he would not hesitate to use your low self-esteem and selflessness to further his ego and complex. DIO’s also surrounded by gorgeous people every day, and he wouldn’t bat an eyelash if you were to voice your insecurities to him. Although, he may end up also using sweet reassuring words to you just so you fall under his spell harder (which means it would be easier to manipulate u and ur selflessness) OR he may exploit it and make you feel more insecure but also manipulate you to be more mindlessly devoted to him (it’s easier to use that forehead bug thing but that’s removable). All in all, it would just breed an extremely dependent and toxic relationship between the 2 of you because you would never be his equal, even in a relationship with him. He’s not the antagonist for nothing lol (I’m well aware of his past and the implications/effects it has, but we’ve all seen how he has acted throughout his life and his thought process). 0/10 recommend.

I am a WRITER to the core, super creative, ideas hit me 24/7.

Jonathan would be supportive all around and would love to help you in any way he could. He’d want to read everything you produce too! Overall, extremely proud of your creativity and if you publish a book, he will throw a party, make Speedwagon buy a copy too, and cherishes the first copy you give him.

Risotto would gift you things to help you with this, like books, stationaries, & etc. Would help you out with proofreading and editing too if he has the time. He’s supportive like that and he’s attracted to how you’re so creative and can draw inspiration at all times.

DIO thinks your creativity is admirable. He would also love to read what you write, but is very critical. He’s read so many books, and while preference is subjective, he knows what good writing is (based on genre, style, & etc.). So if it’s not good, you’ll know why from A to Z. And if you get disheartened by him, he will look down on you and call your passion weak.

I really love history and would love to visit ruins someday.

Jonathan seems like he likes travelling in general, so he would love to visit with you too! Might not be super into history, but well, anything will interest this big puppy if you tell him passionately enough.

Risotto looks like he doesn’t mind? Not super interested, not super disinterested either, but will travel with you if he’s able to free up his schedule.

DIO can only go at night, but he looks like he enjoys history and ruins.

Movie junkie.

Jonathan and you would set up a weekly movie night date thing, and he’ll let you pick whenever because he just loves to spend time with youwu. He has some favourites, but if the movie doesn’t interest him, he’ll still sit through it but his attention would be on cuddling you.

Risotto? Kinda depends on the genre? But he looks like the kind to not have enough time to be a movie lover or sit through one for you, so not the best match.

DIO prefers books so he won’t indulge in this love of yours, but if it’s an adaptation from a book he would watch it. But he’ll be a raging bitch if doesn’t match up to the books. Honestly, if he’s uninterested, he won’t be watching it.

I’m sarcastic but like to think to think I’m also funny!

I see Jonathan as someone who enjoys it when his partner can quip back, so while he may not find sarcasm funny most of the time (when aimed at him), he does find it attractive. If you’re sarcastic to the people who give him a hard time, he would kiss you passionately afterwards and who knows… you might even get dicked down after oho. If you’re sarcastic to the people he cares about, he won’t mind if no one’s feelings are hurt.

DIO won’t tolerate being disrespected in any form, even if it’s a joke. I just can’t see him allowing that with that God complex of his lol, but he does find it amusing when you’re sarcastic to other people.

Risotto loves sarcasm, but he has an image to keep. So as long as you don’t undermine or disrespect him (you have to have a 6th sense with the boundaries), he’s more than happy to sass you back or chuckle at it.

I really love making people laugh.

Jonathan and Risotto appreciates this the most. Finds it lovely. Jonathan especially because he finds it so sweet that you want to bring laughter to others. Risotto enjoys a partner who would love to bring more joy into his life. But I see the shit Risotto laughs at as dry or dark or when its real stupid or boomer/dad-like, anything else he’s a little like ‘ok’. Jonathan appreciates the effort alone and would tease you a little if it’s a really bad joke (all in good nature of course).

DIO…he laughs mostly at other people’s demise or stupidity or cluelessness. That’s all I’m gonna say.

I really love writing poetry for people.

Jonathan would SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOON SO hard. He would show it off to Speedwagon and then keep it tucked somewhere safe so he can read it whenever he wants to.

God he’s just so in love with you and he thinks it’s just so romantic of you. He absolutely loves it. Hell, even if it’s not for him, he’s so proud and awestruck because poetry is hard and he’s just so proud whenever he brags about this skill/hobby of yours. He also thinks it’s so sweet of you to write poetry for others and love doing it. Man just has heart eyes all around and I can’t blame him.

DIO would be smug about it for all the same reasons but in a more…condescending way? Like ‘HA. Do you peasants see that? Their talent? You could never lmao’. But would get pissy if you write for others more than you write for him because he should be your #1.

Risotto would say thank you and give you a kiss. Outwardly he won’t show as much (unless you look hard enough and notice the way his eyes soften more, like the way he would smile too, and his cheeks might even have a touch of pink), but he will forever treasure the poem. He also keeps his favorite on him all the time, like a little good luck charm. He doesn’t brag about your talent, but he’ll proudly agree if someone brings it up. Of course, you wouldn’t know all this though (unless you accidentally find out).

I kinda enjoy cooking.

Johnathan has a refined palate because of his upbringing, but he also looks like he’d eat whatever you cook solely because you made it just for him. He’s a gentleman and a sap with a big heart, if he doesn’t like it, he’ll eat it. He might tell you what can be tweaked, but never in a way that makes you feel bad or inadequate. He also looks like he can’t cook for shit lmao, so teach him!! He’s always down to do anything if it means spending time with the love of his life uwu

Risotto and DIO would tell you straight up if they don’t like what you’ve made. The difference is, DIO (if he ain’t a vampire yet) wouldn’t even touch it (anymore after the first bite) lmao, Risotto too but he’d end up cooking with you to teach you how to improve the dish. Of course, he doesn’t do it to shit on you. He appreciates the sentiment, but he’s not going to subject himself to something he doesn’t enjoy if he can help it. Also would turn it into a cooking date with you. DIO would just take over the kitchen and make you watch LOL

I really love reading!!

DIO too! I see Risotto enjoying it as well, but not as much and probably prefers music related hobbies. As for Jonathan, he doesn’t mind it? He’s not the biggest fan of it, but if you read it to him, he’d happily perch his head on your lap and listen to you like an audio book sent from the heavens (but somewhere along the way he will fall asleep KSKSKSK)

DIO would engage in conversations with you on the books (also thoroughly enjoys if you can keep it interesting), Risotto would if he knew the book (but would then just listen and ask questions if he didn’t), Jonathan is just happy to have your attention on him, but would read the book and talk about it with you if you want that.

Your physical appearance description.

Jonathan would just love to play with and admire your hair 24/7, and if his attention isn’t on your hair, then it’d be on your lips. Kissing, brushing his tongue or fingers or **** against your lips, just absolutely loving the shape and feel of it.

And because you’re also tall(-er than average?), kisses are SO much more easier to access and that’s such a plus uwu. I mean regardless of height, he can always just lift you, but he also doesn’t have to bend too far when plopping his head on the crown of ur head too. And if u wear heels or shoes that give u extra height? Power couple goals😩🤘🏼💫

[convivialjoys]

the signs summed up, from my personal experiences with them

Aries: Spring and Fireworks together, somehow. But they're all of the new, exciting parts of spring, none of the soft, pretty parts. They are life, new life. Young souls. Usually very funny, laugh at a lot of things, and don't get embarrassed easily. Usually make great leaders when they can pay attention for long enough, especially if it involves a cause with passion, but they bore easily if the experience is not new. They fizzle out quickly, which makes them seem angry and volatile at times. Need to constantly be Doing something. Very physical energy. Can be indecisive, especially when bored. They don't linger on the past; only move forward into the new. They don't tend to hold grudges. Blood in the Cut by K. Flay. A little bit egotistical, but they also can laugh at themselves. Quick anger; explosive, but not lasting. The embodiment of Mars. Flashy and powerful.

Taurus: Earthy; almost doe-like. Innocent. Unintentionally hilarious, usually in a very cute, charming way. Very reliable and consistent. Stubborn, sometimes to a fault - they've found what they like, they've found what works, and that's that on that; don't waste their time. They like to take things slow. They don't tend to worry about things that don't matter / infringe on their happiness. They like the simple, beautiful pleasures in life; they like being comfortable, and living in luxury. Deep, solid, Venus energy. Over and Over by Tullio. Prone to laziness if they are not careful, but they are also consistent in the work they do. Their anger is rigid, but not bitter, and not fire-y. They do not hold grudges; they'll charge, and forget why they charged two minutes later. Often can laugh at themselves.

Gemini: The definition of adaptable. The chameleons of the zodiac. Quite chaotic. Generally unattached to most things, but fascinated by all things. Tend to be fantastic storytellers through acting. The fun side of Mercury. Amazing at holding conversations. Karma Chameleon by Boy George. Quirky; oftentimes have a difficult time sitting still, due to their constant need to "drift." Always up for a good time. The person that you lose track of time talking to. Don't take themselves too seriously, and will admire you if you can one-up them at their own game. Never offended. Masters of shade, oftentimes without anyone else realizing it. Quite content with having their own inside jokes with themselves. Generally entertained by others, which makes them social, even if they're not necessarily emotionally involved. Have very original thoughts. Geniuses, but can't always organize their own ideas, or say them in a way that make sense. Don't need to be seen or heard by others to feel validated, but do need to be engaged in some way, socially.

Cancer: Gentle, understanding, compassionate. Easily nurture others, and know exactly when it is needed. Associated with the moon and the mother. Soft, but not fragile. Very solid and reliable. Are You Alright by Lucinda Williams. Make for good instigators of things, due to their cardinal energy - are likely the friends to take the lead, if a lead should be taken - but they'll do so in a graceful and tactful way. Can be withdrawn, surprisingly, and prone to social exhaustion quickly. Sensitive to vibes of the environment, especially of the home. Empathetic. Can sense when someone is "off" emotionally, and are likely to ask you about it. Offer hugs, but don't want them in return. They want to nurture, but not be nurtured, or they'll withdraw.

Leo: Pride, nobility, courage. Roar loudly and proudly. Don't Rain On My Parade by Barbra Streisand. Feel fulfilled by being the "light" in the room, and the center of it. Shameless in this; finds shame distasteful. A maned aristocrat. The Sun. Unyielding in their opinions. Will charge and kill, and will not hold back once they've decided to do so. Loyal to their loved ones, and are likely the first ones to stand up for you. Like to show off, and like to show you off, too, if you're in a relationship with them. A bit grandiose; can be jokers. Thrive off of others looking at them. They will love you if you love them. No pretense with them. Ignoring them is one of the worst things you can do to them. Usually appear "large" and take up a lot of space; they have a presence. They could pull Apollo's chariots. Always have the last word; you will not "win" an argument with them.

Virgo: The fixers. Both perfectionists and chaotic. Generally fit in where ever they are, due to their mutable energy. Obsessions by MARINA. Very tasteful; not promiscuous. Have a pure light about them that makes them seem "untainted" by the world around them, despite any hardships they might have endured. Mercurial, conversational, oftentimes make for exceptional writers. Similar to Gemini, but if Gemini were more grounded. Observant about others, but not always necessarily about themselves. Probably well read, even if they can't remember from which book their facts are coming from. Can be at odds with themselves often, due to their dual need for material success / values, and their simultaneously floaty, dreamy energy. Can be very self critical, and prone to anxiety, especially if things are not in order. Like things resolved, and will obsess if they are not. Often the nerd friends. Dabbled in a lot, and know about a lot. Usually very successful, even if they don't want grandiose things. May struggle with self image, or some form of dysphoria. Soft hearted.

Libra: The diplomats, the judges. Very graceful; love to be comfortable and stylish. A little bit shady, but you have to look hard to see this, as it will be disguised in tact. Charming, with soft eyes. Venus energy, but a bit more forward and extroverted than Taurus. Vogue by Madonna. Have a tendency to mirror who they are communicating with. Social, usually good at taking lead, and at communicating your thoughts back to you in a way that makes sense to all. Mediators. Fascinated with relationships between people, and enjoy observing / talking about them. Oftentimes romantic, but can bore easily. Flirts. A little vain. Very into looks and appearances, due to the artistic influence of Venus. Interested in what you have to say, and in hearing all viewpoints, so they can judge which is the just one. See the light and dark of most situations, and the beauty in both. Find disharmony abhorrent; will oftentimes hide their true anger at a situation because of this. Will bend over backwards to try and understand others and their situations; will find it unjust if the same treatment is not given to them. Can be ruthless in their judgments, especially if they perceive injustice. Are usually forgiving if you've wronged them in some way and attempted to reconcile. Social; easy to get along with and talk to. Could be ambassadors for humanity.

Scorpio: Powerful, perceptive. Dark, mysterious. Observant; probably the most observant of all of the signs. Terrible Thing by AG. Can be quite funny, and have a weird sense of humor that seems uncharacteristic. They do not reveal information unless absolutely critical; power through knowledge is of utmost importance to them. Incredibly sharp and remember conversations from five years ago that seem meaningless to you. Everlasting souls. You likely will not forget these people, and they won't forget you, either. Unyielding and relentless, but also crafty. Probably have a number of topics that they've researched extensively, and could easily write a thesis on, but instead let only hints of said information out occasionally. Deep, transformative. Somehow the Scorpion and the Eagle in one. There is a sense that they will be the last ones standing. Reliable; they will never flake. They want to know everything about you. Their observations about things are masterful, poetic, and unbelievably perceptive. Emotional, but not open about this, and not necessarily empathetic. A deep focus, and sometimes there is a tendency to hyperfixate.

Sagittarius: Very lucky. Fun; an all around great time. Probably not good at holding alcohol. High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco. Are the most likely of your friends to end up in an obscure bar at 4am, dancing on tables. Will fight at all times, but will also laugh quickly after fighting. Chaotic, but somehow always survives every situation unscathed. Love to travel, and are probably well traveled, or have dreams of doing so. Curious about everything; very easy to talk to because of this. Have a lot of various interests that may make them seem flighty, but it is simply because they are infatuated with the world. Overstimulated easily; very physical. Will never judge you for anything. Probably have laughter that is infectious. Have a somewhat humorous quality about them. Can be egotistical, but are usually good-natured, too. There is a sense that they are good friends, and a deep positivity around being with them. They have their own backs.

Capricorn: Organized, classy, powerful, or crave becoming powerful. Very earthy, but the part of earth that makes diamonds. Disciplined, due to Saturn being their ruler. Have dreams rooted in either material possessions and wealth, or status through other means, but want to get there through hard work, and all on their own. We Have It All by Pim Stones. Never want to count on others, but you can count on them to be reliable and to give you practical, good advice. Usually very good at gift giving. Prone to being critical, but it is always to help you, and well intentioned. Both crave status and feel unworthy of status. Admire those with status. Care very deeply, but may have a hard time showing it. Prideful. They don't hold grudges. They somehow make practicality look artful. Structured, responsible. Somewhat of traditionalists at heart. Probably very family oriented, and "tough love" nurturers, but are also appropriately nurturing.

Aquarius: The politicians, the humanitarians, the executives. Probably philanthropists, or would make good ones. Water bearers; they bear the "life" of the world and its answers, and are here to communicate that with us. Quite social, yet emotionally disconnected. Higher Love by Kygo & Whitney Houston. Can seem distant; they see the problems of any given situation or initiative easily, and know exactly how to communicate fixing those, but in an unemotional way. Speaking with the masses is what they are best at. They seem almost other-worldly, or above everyone, because of this. They usually make successful CEOs. A misfit, in the best of ways. They tend to have reasons for everything they do. Fun and open-minded, they love to goof off, but surprisingly tend to have a stubborn streak due to their fixed modality. Very hard to win a debate against them; they can probably sway you in their direction, since it is always logical and well reasoned. Intellectuals. A little unusual, but not in the quirky way that Gemini is; more because they stand out as very intelligent leaders. Charismatic. Social. A little "zany" because of their air. Have a sense of "unease" or sudden movement about them, due to the unexpected, restless energy of Uranus.

Pisces: Always seem to be drifting; quirky, probably funny in that way. Very dreamy. Loving souls; very soft. Tend to be introverted and artistic. They are curious about intuitive, creative ventures, such as acting, painting, writing, musical instruments or music. Talented at such things. Very good at reading emotions, and are usually also affected by them, too. Can get overstimulated very easily. Empaths. Love involving themselves in people and situations in the same way that Gemini does, and are adaptable, but very emotionally sensitive. May even be emotionally volatile or unpredictable due to this. Their intuition is other-worldly. They are the oldest signs in the zodiac, and probably seem psychic, or are, in many ways. Have a sense of living many past lives about them. Blowing Kisses in the Wind by Paula Abdul. Usually very content with being in their own heads. Visual or auditory thinkers. Sometimes have synesthesia. Have a hard time staying "rooted" because of all of the amazing worlds they see, outside of our own immediate one. The dreamers, the psychics. Neptune, associated with illusion and dreams. Make for excellent storytellers, and usually lead by example, rather than by communication. Have a way of understanding the universe that is unique and unlike any other.

[dear-wormwoods]

I'm just curious can you list the losers club from your favorite to least favorite and explain why

Ohhh this is so hard and here’s why: Richie and Eddie are constantly rotating who is in the top spot depending on like... my mood, or what I’m thinking or writing about the most. I know that probably comes as a surprise given that most of my meta is so Eddie focused? But god I just love Richie so much. It’s a head vs. heart thing with them, honestly. A year ago I would’ve absolutely said Eddie first because I was constantly churning out meta about him, but RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT the order is:

1. Richie. Gonna go with my heart on this one - I have a big giant weakness for funny-charming characters/people, so Richie has always been like, the “if I was gonna marry one of the Losers” choice since I first read the book in high school. And Richie has so much depth, but you have to really read between the lines to find it, so his chapters are fun in that way, too. I love him for the same reasons Eddie does - his “sometimes enchanting, sometimes exhausting charm”, his ambition, his willingness to go with the flow, his devotion to his friends, his intelligence, his fascination with music and theatrics, and also the way he’s just sort of an enigma. And then obviously Bill Hader, a long-time celebrity crush, had to come along and fulfill my wildest dreams by taking the role and pouring his soul into it. Lastly, in terms of writing, I have the most fun writing Richie. I write Eddie’s POV a lot more (on the rare occasions I write fic) because it comes more naturally, but I actually get the most fulfillment from writing Richie.

2. Eddie. If my heart belongs to Richie, my brain belongs to Eddie. I have spent countless hours analyzing every god damn word in his chapters and I think about him nearly constantly. He’s always been the Loser I relate to the most, but not because of his home life or anything (my parents are actually a lot like Richie’s - my dad is hilarious and my mom is just great, but as a kid/teen they didn’t get me at all because I turned out way weirder and more annoying than they anticipated and it was a Struggle to communicate lmao). Anyway, I relate to Eddie’s personality a lot, and just how his brain works. I too am always stuck in my own head, emotional and overly self-critical, historically reluctant to take risks because it’s safer to be stagnant, will bend over backwards to take care of other people to the point of not doing anything for myself because of codependent tendencies, etc etc. Analyzing Eddie gives me a lot of intellectual fulfillment and also helps me reflect on myself. This is why I refuse to baby him and try to explore and examine his flaws and mistakes. He���s the most complex character in the story and inherently so Brave and Good. (sidenote: I hate saying really positive things right after saying that I relate to him because it feels arrogant and like I’m saying that about myself, too, which I’m definitely not. Does anyone else get like that? Like, you relate to a character and openly praise them, but then feel like a giant asshole because you inadvertently said something nice about yourself by loving on a character you relate to?)

3. Ben. I love reading Ben’s chapters so much, he’s such a well-developed character and I feel his chapters are almost on par with Eddie’s in terms of being a joy to read and having a very distinct tone. If Eddie’s the guiding light of the group, Ben is the engineer. He has this sort of deep and natural self-confidence that I love. He’s got his hobbies, his books, and he’s just chillin’. He’s very self conscious about his body, but he’s SO confident about his mind and his heart. I’ve always found it fascinating that Ben’s IT manifestations are so impersonal and very typical movie-monster type shit, and I think it’s because he really doesn’t fear much. He doesn’t need to. He knows what he’s capable of and he doesn’t stop to ruminate about it, he just fucking does it. IT can’t really touch that. Also, as Richie’s mirror, he automatically gets a high spot on the list - we stan wildly successful but deeply lonely guys who spent their youth pining in secret.

4. Mike. I know a lot of people find the Derry Interludes boring, but I really love being able to dive into Mike’s stream of consciousness journal keeping. He’s truly the lighthouse keeper, and that’s a rough fucking gig. His love of lore and history is so relatable, though. And I love his relationship with his parents, especially with Will, and it’s great to have a prominent example of positive parenting to combat against the likes of Sonia, Alvin, and Butch Bowers. Mike really loves his parents and the Losers, and he’s so smart and sensitive and GOOD, even in the face of near-constant racism and 27 years of exhausting and lonely detective work. My only wish for him is to fucking leave Derry and finally relax.

5. Bev. I really love Bev, but she’s lower on the list because I find her to be a pretty underdeveloped character in the novel. This is mostly because Stephen King truly sucks at writing women, but knowing that doesn’t stop me from just not feeling super engaged with her chapters. In theory, Bev is great - and she was/will be great in the movies, too. She’s Eddie’s mirror, so admittedly a lot of my affection for her stems from that and the joy I get from examining their parallels (particularly in terms of how IT targets them both with their sexuality and dirtiness/cleanliness).

6. Bill. I have never really been super invested in Bill. It’s just like... too glaringly obvious that he’s a self-insert for Stephen King, so he falls flat a lot of the time, for me. Sometimes I like to think that’s intentional, because we get so much of seeing Bill through the Losers’ eyes with all their idolization and projection, so the “real Bill” never really stood a chance of living up to that image. Other times all I see is a self-insert. But I do really love the way his guilt over Georgie’s death is explored and how that guilt leads him to be selfishly single-minded in his quest for vengeance. I just wish more time was spent on that in his adult chapters and less on that cringey hotel sex scene.

7. Stan. Stan is last but I certainly don’t dislike him. It’s just... I’m really sorry but I think Stan is a super overrated character. I love his scene with the Standpipe and the drowned kids, and I think his friendships with Eddie and Bev are not given enough attention, and I love Stanpat, but overall... I just don’t think about him all that much. I’m really only able to get invested in Stan if it’s in relation to Patty. They just wanted a baby and a happy life, Mike.

This turned into such a fucking ramble. Hopefully it’s what you were looking for! 😬

[bloodyshadow1]

look..., I don’t want any member of the cast to get hate, I sincerely don’t, I like them all, but it really bothers me that I see a dozen posts, not just on here, talking about how Sam/Nott doesn’t deserve any criticism for for killing Caduceus, no, it was a stupid decision, even in the best case scenario it was a stupid decision that got one of the Nein killed.  I’m not saying that Sam should get hate, I just know that for whatever reason Sam gets the golden treatment in the fandom where he can do no wrong so he gets half the criticism of the men at the table and an 1/8 of what Laura and Marisha get.  

Sam is a good player, but he is also a chaotic player, which is fine, but it leads to selfish decisions at the table for the sake of what he thinks is funny.  It happened a lot with Scanlan, it happens with Nott all the time (a bit less so with Tary because the character was openly selfish and arrogant and clearly in need of character development).  In all honesty I have little problem with Sam or his playing style, but the sheer amount of viewers who will bend over backwards, twisting themselves in knots and ignore what happened just to justify why he didnt’ actually make a mistake and instead made the optimal decision is sickening.  

Nott fired an explosive bolt at a single enemy when it was unnecessary damage wise, with the trigger being that she would fire as soon as it came in range of it despite already having advantage and sneak attack because she was hiding.  No matter what it would have damaged her teammates, all who were wounded, no, she didnt’ know that it was going to try and kill a wounded Cad, but it was still a dumb decision overall.  Sam acknowledged it as a dumb decision, don’t give him hate, but stop acting like he can do no wrong.  He didn’t know that Jester had a 3rd level for revivify and even though it didn’t need a ritual or a roll it still cost them a 300 gp diamond.  People ragged on Laura for betting and losing the diamond, it was a stupid decision, but this was just as bad if not worse given how even more unnecessary it was.

Overall, Nott did fine until the end, probably should have spent her time doing damage instead of trying to get Caleb up, but she did a lot better than Fjord and definitely more than Caleb who shat the bed this encounter.  They all made mistakes they should be acknowledged for what they are

[peepingtoad]

¬ romance headcanons. repost; do not reblog!

name:  Jiraiya nickname:  Ero-Sennin, Jira, Raiya, and probably a whole host of others he doesn’t know about.  gender:  Cis male romantic orientation:  Yes sexual orientation:  Yes

preferred pet names:  He likes anything, really. Anything is fine with him, even if it’s mildly insulting, because someone cared enough to give him it. He’ll try and get creative, funny and oddly specific when thinking of pet names for others. They usually end up being more like titles.

relationship status:  Almost always ‘painfully single’ or ‘it’s complicated’

favorite canon ship:  Uhhh. The unrequited love towards Tsunade and how he deals with that is something I love, to be honest, as much as I ship them being happy together. I guess that’s as close to a purely canon ship as we get with him!

favorite non-canon ship:  Sannin OT3 (though is that not basically canon pff), Jira/Oro and Jira/Tsu. Those are my big ones that I came into this loving, tbh, also give me a Sakumo or someone else similarly aged and male for young man Jiraiya to explore his bisexuality with. Like, gimme. Hit me up with that shit. Even though the Sannin get almost nothing in terms of other shinobi their age!

opinion on true love:  He believes it exists, and to be honest he kinda fears it. To him, it’s the sort of unconditional love that will see you do anything for that person, which is scary for someone who lives primarily for himself and has such lofty ideals that he doesn’t want anything to get in the way of. What if the person he loves to that degree is the wrong sort? He’d find it more challenging to stick to his ideals if it came at the detriment of someone he was in love with. But you’ve gotta give him props, because he’d try his best to meet in the middle :P

opinion on love at first sight:  Not love, only lust--though in his excitement at seeing someone particularly eye-catching he might think ‘oh wow, I love her!’ (and let’s face it, it’s usually a ‘her’ because he’s weak to an amazing rack). He does, however, believe it’s possible to feel a spark of interest or intrigue that compels one to find out more about a person. He believes that people can naturally gravitate towards each other through some force that can’t be seen or explained.

how ‘romantic’ are they?  He finds falling into affectionate, lovey-dovey behaviour very easy, because he lives for that ‘honeymoon period’ (which is pretty much the extent of any relationship he has). He likes to buy gifts for love interests and write little poems/love letters for them, so in that sense he’s quite cheesy in his romance. However, it can sometimes come across as pretty shallow because he goes into a relationship with such an ‘all in good fun’ attitude, not seeking anything serious out of it. When he’s truly fallen for someone his love is a lot more quiet and intense, manifesting in ways such as always keeping an eye out for them/potential threats to them at all times, and pretty much bending over backwards to make sure they’re happy. He's romantic to the degree that when separated from his loved one, the strength of his love can feel like Actual Death crushing down on him, and if it existed in their world he’d probably spend long candlelit hours listening to the entirety of Disintegration by The Cure on repeat and pining while writing poetry. And worst thing is, he’ll enjoy the sheer self-indulgence of being so hopelessly in love. So in short, he’s pathetically romantic :’)

ideal physical traits:  Regardless of gender he tends to go for a softer, ‘prettier’ face, but it hasn’t stopped him from making eyes at a handsome manly-man. One preference is long hair over short--on any gender. A huge turn-on for him, again in any gender, is a more shapely hip as opposed to narrow, particularly with a nice dip to the waist. A curving spine with good posture (unlike his own). Smooth skin with minimal hair is a plus. Also... kinda more appearance than bodily trait, but a certain flair in terms of style goes a long way with him.

ideal personality traits: Fun-loving, adventurous, healthily competitive, a sharp sense of humour, passionate about a cause or hobby. Someone who can keep up with him in all his wild impulsiveness and throw aside responsibility, but also rein him in when it’s needed (and possibly even be a little controlling). Somebody with that perfect balance of clinginess/independence. In fact, someone who has a tendency to be cold/aloof can be very appealing to him because it offers him the challenge of getting to their softer centre.

unattractive physical traits:  Honestly, just poor grooming/presentation/hygiene. Unloved hair, nails and skin is a turn-off. Other than that he can easily be attracted to a variety of different bodies/faces.

unattractive personality traits:  Judgemental, harshly critical (particularly of him), close-minded, resistant to trying new things/taking risks. He’s an optimist though, so he’ll often seek out the attractive traits in people and focus on those.

ideal date:  Wine and dine all the way, followed by a nice scenic walk, stargazing (and, date permitting, getting a little frisky somewhere ill-advised).

do they have a type? Not particularly--if he clicks with someone in conversation, chances are he can go from ‘meh’ to ‘would bang’ very quickly.

average relationship length:  Ahahaha. Up to six months, I’d say. When he was in his teens he may have had one or two girlfriends for a year or so, but as he gets older he’s on the road too much to hold down anything long term, and to be honest he doesn’t even want to risk trying.

preferred non-sexual intimacy:  Use him as a chair. Get in his lap, snuggle into his chest, wrap your arms around his neck. Pet him. Pet each other. Face touches. Share baths (though that may well become sexual). Drink together and get all passionate about interests.

commitment level:  Basically nonexistent, without heaps of development. Nothing personal~ (on the other hand, he’s ridiculously committed to his fellow Sannin, in both friendship and if a relationship was to start with either of them. Go fig.)

opinion of public affection:  Fun and sexy, with a partner willing to engage. He loves to show off who he has on his arm. Still, the point of anything more than your typical PDA is to keep it clandestine, to see how much they can work each other up in the most subtle of ways. In general, he tries to restrict it to an arm around the waist/shoulders but he often gets ahead of himself--he might need to be told off for being a little too gropey in public. He really couldn’t care less about seeing others’ PDA! Good on them!

past relationships? He’s not had many meaningful ones, just a looooong string of flings, shorter relationships that fizzled and one night stands. When he was a teen, I think he had a couple of girlfriends until he didn’t, probably was in a relationship with the person he lost his virginity to. In his late teens/early twenties, probably didn’t want to be tied down and experimented with men too (especially tempting when he was sent places far from home). During his longer stints away from Konoha (between his return from Ame and Minato’s death, and again between Minato’s death and coming back to Konoha/meeting Naruto), I suspect he may have held a couple of relationships for a few weeks or months here and there, possibly a few willing booty calls at any given time, but things were all so fucked that his heart wasn’t really in them. In short, Pretty Much Nonexistent!

[toddsfall]

Let’s talk about Star Wars

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS (don’t say I didn’t warn you)

first off, the entire cast looked like a DELICIOUS SNACC PACK if you were attracted to any of them before and are wondering if they have somehow become more attractive the answer is yes. Yes they have. 

Rose is awesome, I love her (even though I have Thoughts about her storyline, more on that later) and if I see one more racist motherfucker on Twitter try to bend themselves over backwards trying to justify calling her ‘the worst character ever in SW’, ‘unattractive and fat’, ‘the worst part of the movie’ I am personally pulling the plug on the internet. Same goes for anyone trying to hate on Finn, y’all are really transparent and IT’S FUCKING GROSS. YOU RACIST ASSHOLES.

Hmm so anyway, I have a lot of thoughts and most of them will be rambly so come along this ride with me friends (I swear I’ll try to make clear & concise points)

Okay so I want to go right off the bat say that I have loved Star Wars since I was a wee babbie so I’m? going to? love it? always? so yeah, I know I’m biased (but honestly who isn’t? everyone reviewing the movie has their own biases attached to it sooo deal with it) 

The movie starts off with several action sequences which immediately pull us into the story, they got my heart racing from minute one and I was here for it. Also, I got goosebumps the minute I saw Leia/Carrie’s face and I stayed pretty emotional throughout the entirety of the movie. I think they gave her the respect she deserved, her legacy really shined through in every single one of her scenes (and her scenes were among the most memorable in the movie imo)

I loved how much the movie focused on characters. This was a story about people; 

how they can fuck up and fall off their pedestal (Luke); 

try their hardest and still fail someone (Leia and Han failed Ben, it’s sad but it’s true); 

how they can overcome their past and choose the light over and over (Rey was the main focus but Finn and Rose were definitely part of this theme as well); 

how they can feel completely abandoned and isolated and  become completely unhinged, unable to overcome their past and become completely bitter (Kylo Ren/Ben, listen I am not trying to sound like I approve of his actions but I really like how the movie delved into HOW people can become ‘the villain’ in a story, it was an unflinching take on how someone can have very legitimate reasons for becoming the way they am and it still in the end not justifying their actions at all. Idk, other people probably have a take different take on this but I for one found it kind of refreshing). 

This movie really delved into how heroes are people too, everyone fucks up. Everyone. Even the best among us. And we don’t all handle it so well (aka Luke completely abandoning everyone he’s ever loved to die, you could argue that was a pretty egocentric move and maybe that seems out of character - ask yourself if you’ll be the same person you’re now in 30 years now, especially if the current political climate keeps matching the pretty horrifying ones in sw- but it shows how disillusioned he’d become). 

However, in the end it felt to me like hope was still there. All these people, who have lost so much and who have fucked up in various ways (Finn wanting to abandon the rebellion, Poe leading them into a defeat, Leia failing her son, Rey possibly considering joining Kylo?/the darkness, Luke see above) still choose to stand up for what’s right. I know people thought the ending was a bit too cheesy (and I will come back to how choosing this ending will probably end up costing them later) but I loved it. I don’t know about you guys, but movies don’t always have to choose the dark route to end up good for me? Like, sometimes I just want to be entertained and escape into another world where it’s possible for heroes to be flawed but ultimately still good? maybe just me though.

So that’s what I loved most about the movie. Some of my fave scenes: (and I’m sure I’m forgetting some?)

I loved Kylo and Rey’s scenes (because heyyy they have similar experiences and yet are polar opposites, their dynamic has really grown on me! I don’t want them to end up together romantically but their climax will probably be the most interesting villain/hero confrontation in a while - that’s just my opinion thooo-) the scene in the rain, the hand touching and the fight in Snoke’s room were so emotionally charged I liveee

As I said, I loved Leia’s scenes (especially with Poe, god I wish we’d get more of that dynamic but :((( ) the scene with Luke at the end, not gonna lie that one got to me (I mean, it was going to be emotional bc of Carrie anyway but the weight of those last scenes, honest to god chills)

the scene where Admiral Holdo flies into the command ship was fucking MAGNIFICENT seriously, the silence? the visuals? fuck.

I want to go into a really detailed analysis of how the use of old motifs and themes from previous movies in the score carried a lot of the emotional weight forward, but I’d have to watch/listen to the movie again to fully carry that out with the respect it deserves so maybe another time. Just mentioning it because it’s still one of my favorite star wars things (and I know it’s said so many times before but you know what? the music is so good, it should still be mentioned in every single review. don’t do john williams dirty like this) it’s very subtle at times, but I swear I heard some of Darth Vader’s iconic march come through in Luke’s score in this movie? very interesting!! pls let me geek out over music internet I’m begging you

I already mentioned Snoke’s throne room but the moment you see Kylo deciding to kill him is glorious too (props to Adam Driver, seriously you can hate Kylo and I totally understand but attacking the actor - especially when it’s based on his looks, which most of you are wrong about jsyk I don’t make the rules, it’s just science his eyes look like a baby deer?? - is so unnecessary please don’t stoop to the level of those dudebros on twitter attacking rose? like, Kylo has enough bad deeds on his resumé it’s okay you can attack him for that, you don’t need to drag his looks into it so annyyywaay sorry for that tangent it just irks me)

BB8 being the reason while basically any of the resistance is still alive is so fucking funny I’m sorry if you hate it I love my dumb orange cat robot (the reunion with Poe? cleansed my entire soul)

Finn towering over Phasma and spitting out ‘rebel scum’ is Good and should not be forgotten also, speaking of good acting? the way John conveys the inner conflict Finn is going through so subtly is probably going to go unnoticed BUT IT IS GOOD AND I’M GOING TO SHOUT AT Y’ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH HE 5AND DAISY° HAVE GROWN TILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULLS

if we’re talking about Iconique scenes, the man licking the ground and saying ‘Salt’ was fucakfmlkdj so funny I can’t explain how fucking funny that was 

I’m not going to dwell too much on what I didn’t like because I believe there is such a thing as analyzing something to death and I don’t want to do that (besides, it’s really not hard to find criticism for this movie. People really out there comparing it to the Phantom Menace? Lies. Y’all really hate this movie huh? Too bad, I was thoroughly entertained and I loved it  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I feel like most of my problems with the movie could have been solved with some changes to the plot. The critiques I agree with are

 the pacing was weird (how long was Rey on that island? it didn’t seem to be that much longer than the entire plot and subplots of the rebels trying to escape the ship, but that was at most like 20 hours sooo) 

the plot was pretty straightforward: conflict-resolution, conflict-resolution, conflict-resolution. I would have liked to have seen this shaken up a bit. The movie could still have focused on characters with higher stakes, more unresolved issues, messier plots. It was a bit too neat. I saw most of the ‘twists’ coming (e.g. kylo killing snoke, boy they really layed it on thick there) except for: leia charging in and shooting poe (heyoo that’s cinema baby), luke actually still being on the island (and something else but I’m completely blanking rn!)

 I think that’s why people don’t like the ending, it’s too neatly wrapped up in a bow (ignoring the fact that there are like 10 rebels left now? that’s seems like uuuh a problem) And while I like it from an emotional resolution point of view, I think the the movie could have done with more tension at the end. More tension, to keep you on the edge of your seat, wanting to immediately see the next movie. that was its biggest flaw imo

and finally - fair warning: I’m conflicted about this- Rose and Finn’s plot. Hooo boy, okay. So, I wanna say that I love them as characters but.. I don’t really want them to get together? idk remove all forced romance from your plot, writers. It will really help unclutter your stories I swear. (that said, I wouldn’t mind them in a relationship as long as it’s not to create tension with rey? or like any love triangle at all. Please leave that garbage at the door). Aside from that, I know people think their plot was the worst of the movie and I don’t think that. However, I think they could have done more with it. Shown more conflict! let Finn be the spark (and he is!! fight me!!) but also conflicted about joining the rebellion. Let Rose be completely torn up about her sister and let her be bitter dammit! They could have used more obstacles, their plot seemed mostly resolved by a deus ex machina (aside from Finn fighting Phasma - who I’m kind of wishing he didn’t kill cause I can sense she has sooo much more in her, honestly Hux is 100 times more boring, you have gwendoline RIGHT THERE FUCKERS USE HER) I didn’t mind the exposition of the filthy rich people planet (YESSS EAT THE RICH STAR WARS PLS SHIT ON THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN) but it just lacked.. spark. I hope their plot turns out to be important for the next movie, otherwise it was sadly something that could have been much greater (and it’s really uncomfortable to introduce two main poc characters and then basically have them contribute nothing to the main plot, hmm okay star wars I’m watching you)

I can’t/don’t have the energy to address everyone’s issues, but mostly I don’t agree with people being mad about characters (I think it’s clear I like the direction they’ve taken with most of them), the humour is a bit disneyfied but I really didn’t mind (it’s clear as day some of those cutesy aliens were in there for the money, money, money but like.. it be like that sometimes), I honestly don’t care about Snoke so I wasn’t disappointed his backstory was not a part of this, Rey NOT being a part of the great history before her is important to me (can’t believe I didn’t mention it with my favorite scenes, really regretting that salt guy now) even if they try to backpedal on it later that moment was beautiful in the movie (my space daughter isn’t important in the grand scheme of things but she so iiiiiis!!). All in all, I really liked it. It’s not my favorite movie (not even my favorite star wars movie) but it was damn entertaining! Here’s to hoping that the next movie will be the opposite of this very tight, contained movie. Give me the intergalactic class revolution I deserve (seriously, I hope that’s what Rose and Finn’s adventure was planting? might be idle hope, and I’m trying to keep my expectations low but it would be pretty cool right?)