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A cross country trip

Just a little while longer to hold this hand.

A little while longer to have hope of new things.

An opportunity to wash the slate clean with-

A slow moving freshwater flow-

inch by inch down the flat land of Florida

and

The trickle of a fountain in a park nearby where I was born

and

The gush of hot steam from a geyser known as Old Faithful-

gracefully blowing its top the moment our feet rest nearby on the designated viewing area

and

The bubbling scalding water of a thermal pool, decorated in multi colors

from nature- minerals, bacteria, temperatures

from people- disposing of used items as if the earth were their trash can

and

The drip of rain down glistening green leaves,

a soft irregular rhythm in comparison to the roar

of waterfalls crashing down upon rocks wearing through the years

with the steady irreverent pounding of water

in areas known for their droughts

and

the slow seep of tidal waters

as they draw out to the sea, making space for the footsteps of

little boys and little girls, and parents of all shapes and colors and genders (or genderlessness)

to crowd around and point out the types of life

hiding in the pools at the base of Cannon rock.

I could wash away the hurt of not being chosen for a place I wanted to dedicate my life to,

wash away the greed of politicians and people who only see money instead of life,

wipe away the tears cried in a relationship I kept wondering why I wasn’t good enough in,

and I did.

I walked the coastline on the other side of our continent.

I met a woman who painted some of the most beautiful paintings I have ever been lucky enough to see, who let me help her make dinner, and sat down with me and her two amazing sons to watch movies and laugh.

I snuggled puppies of all shapes and sizes.

I saw the Space Needle, and visited amazing National Parks across the country. I saw so many new bird and animal species I had never seen before. Watched the colors change across the American landscape. Met up with friends and families along the way. I even got into a misadventure too.

And that was only over the course of a month or two.

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A Key West cat.. then West Coast coastline. Cannon Beach

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Another update!

When the time come for that researcher to fly home to Washington, I proposed a crazy idea. “Why don’t you let me drop you off?”

That question turned into a cross country road trip. Before we left we explored south Florida. We went to Dry Tortugas, explored the Keys, stopped by Big Cypress. Then we left Florida. We visited the Gateway Arch, Cahokia Mounds in Illinois, stopped by Omaha, headed over to Grand Tetons, Yellowstone... saw the changing colors in the trees. We visited friends in Yellowstone, and had the opportunity to see Wolves, Bison, Elk, Moose, Mountain Goats, and event Grizzlies. Then we headed into Oregon, got into Washington and rested for a moment.

The West Coast was a whole new monster. A new world. It was verdant green, humidity, but low heat. It was searching for birds in prairies and rich forests. It was Stellar’s Jays screaming out of the window, chickadees hopping in the trees. He took me to Seattle for a light show, we got to see some west coast hummingbirds along the waterfront, and were later able to do a camping and coastal Oregon trip. I saw an ocean that looked like it wasn’t even related to the calm south Florida ocean. The white caps, the rocky outcroppings, the skeleton of the Peters Iredale, the whole dead trunks of trees tossed about... this was the sea of Poseidon it seemed.

After a few weeks I flew back home, prepared my bags and then flew to New York for the beginning of the trip to Thailand.

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Elizabeth! I love you and I miss you so much!

It has been a million years.. but I miss you! I hope you have been doing well!

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A poem from magnets I compiled in Boston. Arrival at my destination.

Rescuing a snapping turtle baby from being crushed in a parking lot.

Assisting with Bat research.

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A photograph with a class group out in the Mangroves nearby Biscayne NP. A photograph of me looking like a neanderthal in uniform assisting a guest. A photograph with me as one of the individuals on the right, volunteering as Group Chair for a local Sierra Club group.

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During our final “test”. a prescribed fire. This beauty was actually a snake in the care of a researcher, it was used for education purposes and was not a wild individual. Handling of wildlife is never a good idea, not only can it harm the wildlife, but also the person. It unnecessarily stresses animals out.

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An update

So, this is a long shot... but I had some inspiration earlier today- and a tiny little wiggly feeling that told me I should pop in.

I’m going to try and post a semi-blog recounting of the past few years... a catch-up I daresay.

All my journals have been neglected, but daily stories are shared whenever possible.

So let’s go back.. way back... all the way back to 2014..

It is funny how when you look back through the years it is difficult to tell how much is reality and how much is an emotional lens. It is also easy to forget that in 2014, I was only 21. My brain hadn’t even finished developing. As harsh as I want to view myself, I also understand that the mistakes I made, and the mistakes people I cared about made were in part due to inexperience and age.

In 2014 I was hurt. I was hit with the concern that someone I loved couldn’t be trusted. The thing that I had truly thought I didn’t need to worry about, came up and slapped me in the face and turned me around.

It wasn’t just the trust though. I wasn’t completely sure of my sexuality, or my direction. I wasn’t sure what I wanted or needed. I am not free of fault, and sometimes in my reflection I cringe at the monster I feel I was. Not considerate enough, not appreciative enough. By 2015 I was walking into work terrified everyday. Some days I was barely eating, taking classes, working three jobs. I went from not understanding how much socializing I needed, in a desperate attempt to drown myself with outside stimuli, hating my own thoughts and silence.. to eventually being with someone who pushed me to achieve and do better. That seemed amazing, it motivated me. I was really blind however to the fact that while there was motivating, there was also restricting going on. I couldn’t go to certain places, talk to certain people, do certain things. I had to put up with callousness, a lack of care in certain things, an apathy. While previous years had been sprinkled with beautiful poetry written on coffee sleeves, compliments were now in a period of severe drought. “it goes without saying” was all I could get when I sought one to quench my thirst.

I dealt with trying to solve a rising desire to harm myself, with the fact that my partner was also completely unwilling to help me quell concerns as they rose.

I transitioned from three jobs to mostly one, working in an environmental center that allowed me to educate the public and kids about ecosystems and animals. I also got to work really closely with those animals. Management changes made things chaotic throughout the year. From a supervisor who accused me of verbally accosting her, (me bringing up concerns I had in what I had felt was a very tactful way), to a manager who actively tried preventing me from making friends with coworkers. I eventually was able to get a position doing something I’d started dreaming of doing- working in a National Park.

I was a Community Engagement Intern. I helped prep things for engagement fairs, I worked in a visitor center, I led tours. In fact, I stayed working in that park for over three years. I loved it. I loved my coworkers. I had the opportunity to apply for a uniform position, and got it. I worked as an education ranger for 8 months, happy to be making decent money, with insurance, in the place I loved. During this time I was able to shadow researchers, build amazing friendships, get Red-Carded for fighting wildland fires, even getting onto the instagram of Nat Geo! I also took python catching training, water ditching and survival training, and led tours for some important groups out in the park.

When my season came to an end- a new possibility was on the horizon. A permanent position had opened up, in the office I had worked in for over three years, with the people I knew so well. I thought I was perfectly poised to get it, completely eligible, obviously invested.

On my last day, as I did my exit interview- my supervisor dropped a bomb on my view of my experience. After 8 months, she decided to criticize me on something she had noticed early on and NEVER mentioned to me.

My enthusiasm, my excitement, my drive to help connect others and share my experiences in the park- came off to her as smugness. That I was trying to one-up everyone else, that I thought I knew better than everyone else.

My one place jumping to answer questions (when I had almost never raised my hand throughout the history of my education) came off in a negative way.

Instead of pulling me aside and discussing this with me- she waited 8 months to bring it up.

When I walked out of the interview, it felt like my entire career of bending over backwards- helping others with their projects, keeping the spaces I worked immaculately cleaned, always offering assistance that went beyond to guests, was nothing.

When I stopped by a few days later to see a tour led by a ranger I had been begging to get a tour from, he let me know something came up that had to cancel our plans. As I stood in the visitor center wondering what I was going to do, another ranger who had been in that season excitedly exclaimed he had gotten the permanent I had been dying for.

When I left- I didn’t want to return.

That was in July of 2017.  That March I had finally ended the relationship that was beginning to really wear on me. Instead of being a motivator during a time I was struggling to train for the pack test, my “partner” had been insulting me, accusing me, and generally dragging me down.

When we broke up I did many of the things he had told me I “wasn’t allowed” to do. I bought a concert ticket and saw a concert of one of my favorite artists alone. I flew to Boston alone and stayed with a college friend, exploring the city through public transit, volunteering at a Breaking Benjamin concert with Reverb. In July I had begun getting close to a researcher who worked in another local park... and began planning a trip to Thailand with a friend and coworker.

I’ll tell you more about Thailand later... maybe even include a couple shots of my journey.

With love,

Liz/Ellie

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Wilson’s Warbler

H.J Andrews Experimental Forest, OR

Photo credit: E. Jackson

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An 11 month old baby pangolin in Namibia. Little is known about the shy, endangered species.

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A baby pangolin is born quite helpless, other than the ability to suckle and cling. Until the baby is big enough to travel on its on, a mother pangolin will tote it around on her tail.

Images: Firdia Lisnawati

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nature | Marsh Helleborine | by RPGraphix | http://ift.tt/1KoHw5w

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nature | still some questions - noch Fragen? | by Uwe_Mochel | http://ift.tt/1VEikf1

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Cat’s Eye & Rhinestone Necklaces

$5.30

free shipping with $25+

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Winthorpe by Andreas Lite.