zinnynia

[zinnynia]

GUYS ITS NOT FUCKING TIME Y’ALL 😭🙏🙏

Okay but fr tho everyone lowkey just b forgetting about the Thanks it’s 𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 😒😒😒😒

Also it’s been like, 6 months since this video got deleted on YouTube like I might actually crash out cus why would they do that to me

[zinnynia]

BARNEBASS AND GODORN FELT PLUSHIES

It’s been a year since I’ve had them fr fr 😭🙏🙏 I LOVR THEM SOOOO MUCH

^^^ the shop if anyone’s interested)))

[zinnynia]

“Time, turn back. Don’t come in, just like the old days.” ~ Mirishira Romeo and Cinderella

NEW BARNEY AI COVER LETS GOOOOO 😍😍😍 with a side of Alyx this Lowkey ate fr fr 🙏🙏🙏 Lowkey kinda fits him BUT IH MY GOD ALYX SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL?????? 😭 WHY ARENT THERE MORE ALYX COVERS LIKE SHE FR ATE THAT UP

Honestly this drawing took WAYYY too fucking long 😭😭😭 of the 7:50 hours half of it was just me contemplating and struggling on how to do muscle anatomy 💀💀💀💀 that shading Lowkey kinda ate tho like???

[zinnynia]

WIP - Mirishira Romeo and Cinderella

I’m crying and shaking cus I can’t understand muscle anatomy 😭😭😭😭💀

But here’s a sneak to my next AI cover 😍😍😍 Might make Alyx do a cameo, but idk 😔 I also forgot who’s UST I used when I made my SynthV cover back then, and it didn’t have harmonies so I threw in my own in SynthV overnight 😍😍😍 I ATE THAT UP OMGGGG LIKE WHY DID THOSE HARMONIES UP

[zinnynia]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!! 😍😍😍 MUSIC POSTING AND BARNEY FR FR

Finally got this song out after 1 year 😭😭😭😭 made the lyrics (was originally a poem) in one sitting, and then delayed the music and vocals because I was confused asf 💀

Also, happy birthday, me!!! 😍😍😍

ISNT MY CAKE SOOOO CUTE 🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭💔 The entire time I was carrying around my 2ft Barney Calhoun pillow, and everyone kept saying I was gonna get him stolen 😭 ain’t nobody wanna steal his nasty ass (I would)

Anyways, the music links (if yall are even interested 😰) (yall probably ain’t interested tbh) (honestly same, I’d only look at this post for Barney too) (I LOVE Barney SOOOO much 😍😍😍😭🥺💔💔💔👅💦💦💦💦)

[zinnynia]

I know no one cares about my music, butttt….. 💀

New song just dropped!!! 😍😍😍

This song is a part of my seasons series, which is somewhat of a documentation about my childhood best friend and my relationship.

Start out as “I don’t have any hope in finding you again (Fall),” “I found you again and I have hope (Winter),” to “It’s hard not to lose hope given the circumstances (Spring),” and now “I have hope, but I don’t have the strength anymore (Summer).”

Check out the series here!!!

SoundCloud link if that’s preferred)))

[zinnynia]

THE MAN IN THE FLESH 😍😍😍😍

He’s actually SOOO cute oh my god

Happy Wednesday don’t forget to love yourselves pookies 😍😍😍😍😍 lots of hearts and sending lots of prayers

[zinnynia]

Barnebus AI Covers!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Wake up babes I made 3 new covers fr frr!!!

Honestly, as pricey as Kits.AI is, it's pretty decent. Sucks that they removed community AI tho???

Like why do he sound like that 😭😭😭 His voice sounds so sweet fr fr like it was a great choice I fed the AI some of his beta voicelines

^^^ My playlist of all my covers fr fr 🙏🙏🙏

[zinnynia]

POV: You're a Combine and you see Gordon and kiss

OKAY BUT LIKEEEEE???? IN THE POSTER I MADE AS A REF??? WHY IS HE SO FINDDDD OMGGGG 😍😍😍😍 HE'S SOOO CUTE

AUGHHGHHFYSDHJGFEJSHFD HE'S SO CUTE I'M LITERALLY CRYING AND SHAKING

[zinnynia]

Say, if I had a heart, how would I find it? / Smiling a little, you say: “Well about that, it’s right here.” ~ Kokoronashi, Chouchou-P

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BARNEY LIFESTYLE!!!! 😍😍😍😍 OMGGG!!!! I HOPE I OUTLIVE SOME OF YALL’S HALF LIFE FIX (I will) (Count your days)

Anyways, check out this old song I like!!! 😍😍😍 Lowkey Barney coded cus of the fact he gotta kill his own men to not blow his cover, and it probably fucks with his mental health and self image + worth.

[zinnynia]

give ur opinions on every half life cast member go into details i want to see how ur brain functions

My opinion on the Half Life cast? I don’t have any/many opinions about most of them, so I’ll just not talk about those characters.

I’ll be going from least - most thoughts and opinions, starting with Lamarr.

Though, not really about Lamarr, but headcrabs in general. Out of every alien and enemy in Half Life, Headcrabs and Headcrab Zombies are the scariest to me. Idk man, they’re terrifying, and the concept itself is depressing.

D0g + Eli and Russell are all three very cute characters. I always love seeing them interact with Alyx, and their relationship with her is very sweet. D0g was made by Eli, and Alyx kinda just continued to add more to him, making him the D0g we all know and love. I haven’t completed my Half Life: Alyx run yet, but so far, Russell and Eli seem like really nice parental figures for her. Russell is funny, and has genuinely made me smile and enjoy his company in stressful situations, and Eli just seems like an overall great father. I think I have daddy issues.

I don’t really like Adrian. It’s not that I hate him, or like him at all. I mean, the art of him is kinda cute tbh, and maybe the angst and shit, but he doesn’t really hit the spot like Alyx, Gordon and Barney. I mean, his concept is kind of cool, I guess, but I really wish we could see more of him. Maybe in Half Life 3 (if it comes out), the G-Man could possibly use Adrian against Gordon, as sort of a way to “distract” the gang and make Adrian join the Combine ranks. ..I could be cooking some fanfic ideas for y’all, so PLEASEEE cook up some Combine Adrian AU fr fr. Make him hot too (I might have a thing for the Combine Ngl).

Alyx is girliepop. She ate, slayed, and left no crumbs. What I really like about her is that she doesn’t really idolize Gordon, like what most of the Resistance does. She treats Gordon like a normal human being, and has shown from time to time that she genuinely cares about him. I think she’s well written, but what I don’t really like is that she’s the “love interest” of Half Life. I don’t really think there needs to be romance, because the story is already pretty good. I also find Freemance kind of… iffy. Gordon kind of knew her when she was a baby, and I can’t imagine popping out 20 years later and some kid I knew started crushing heavily on me, or their dad starts shipping us together. But that’s controversial, and if you ship it, you do you. Not my business, and it’s all fictional. Plus, they’re both consenting adults, just the idea is kinda weird.

The G-Man’s concept really intrigues me, and I feel like a lot could be built off of him in Half Life 3 (if it ever comes out). I’ve written a Half Life OC kind of based around it, actually! Basically, the G-Man manipulates and uses resistance members to distract the gang, taking and stealing them, along with Alyx. This causes the gang to feel stressed and discouraged, hopeless even. Barney is nowhere to be found (he’s safe and untouched), so it’s just Gordon and Eli. I feel like a lot could be done with this, and builds more on the G-Man’s manipulative and antagonistic character. It would also be cool if the Combine joins forces with the gang, and defeat the G-Man, then agree on a truce, leaving Earth or co-exist together. I also just feel like I’m intrigued by the G-Man so much, mostly because I’ve written my story’s main antagonist similarity to the G-Man coincidentally.. and that’ll be a story for another post.

Last, but not least… Gordon and Barney omggg!!! Barney and Gordon are both my most favorite characters of Half Life, Barney especially. About a year ago, when I laid eyes on Barney, something inside of me literally just…. Clicked. I was like “I like this man. He’s my favorite character now.”

^^^ Pieces of artwork I made when I first got into Half Life))

I didn’t really understand it, until I really started to look into the fandom, realizing him and Gordon were best friends, and how he practically missed Gordon for 20 years, holding onto crowbars and thinking about the beer he owed Gordon. This REALLY hit me, as I’m in an oddly similar situation.

^^^ The him))

My childhood best friend and I were pretty close, despite knowing each other for only 2 years. We got split up, but met again, but never got the chance to reconnect and actually chat. But throughout the years, I always bought lockets, and sometimes items with sunflowers. Lockets, because he and I were BIG Undertale fans back then (also FNaF and Pokemon), and our parting gifts were paper heart lockets. Sunflowers, because of flower symbolism (wishful thinking, happiness, etc etc) and the idea of “Summer.” We always did everything together, like paper crafts. Another funny thing is that, after finding him again recently, our dynamic is somewhat similar to Freehoun in a way. Me being the more chatty one, while he’s a little more silent. My problem is that I'd rather hear him talk, because he’s really everything I’d want to talk about (no homo 4 him pls I swear). It’s also funnier that he’s a science guy and works out, and is taller than me. It’s giving……. Gordon to Barney.

It’s also funny that a lot of the fanfics I’ve read and liked remind me a lot of us. One fanfic had Gordon and Barney have a conversation, talking about how they can’t “resume” where things left off. That reminds me about a thing he told me one night, about how we weren’t the same people we were in 2nd and 3rd grade, but truthfully I didn’t love him (platonically) for who we were, but for who he is. On the topic of fanfics, I’ve written my fair share (2), and they’re all vents about him in the form of Freehoun! Though, they aren’t technically romantic, they could be interpreted as romantic.

^^^ Old artwork I made based off of my fanfic "Never Again."))

And speaking about Freehoun, I’m actually not much of a “Freehouner.” Sure, it’s cute, but I think they’re just really cute friends. The things they’d do in Black Mesa, and the beer. The way Barney looks at Gordon, and how upset his face was when he had to part ways in Episode 1. Anyways, it took me 7 years to finally have him back (technically 2 + 5, but we didn’t get time to really chat, so I add the 2 years), and I told him “I’d wait another 7 years if it means I’d get to talk to you again” and I also did kinda write him a 2 page (platonic) Valentines Letter that he DID kinda print out cus it was a google doc. Letters are kind of our thing, because I always gave him letters back then when I had a way to send them (via people/connections).

Plus, Gordon is kinda fine...... And Barney's really cute. Like??? PLEASEEEE who decided to make two good looking best friends like tf? And can we PLEASE TALK about how sad Barney looked at the end of Episode 1???? Shit still has be crying.

[zinnynia]

“Cover me, Gordon.”

Honestly I think I ate that 😍😍😍 was debating whether I should’ve drawn this in Roblox, colored and shaded or drew actual people, but decided I was lazy today and wanted to try something new fr fr 🤧 I mean it lowkey goes kinda hard ngl

[zinnynia]

im the person who made the barney hips and thighs post 😈😈 (sorry if i sound stalkerish i never knew you had a tumblr until recently)

HELPPPSJDID 😭😭😭 SO YOU NEVER REALIZED THAT WAS ME ON YOUTUBE 😭 AND EVEN COMMENTED AND FOLLOWED ME HEREEHDBEIDNEEJ 💀💀💀

Tbh it’s ok fr fr cus I noticed that someone actually did repost a video of mines somewhere and didn’t give credit, so I don’t blame u fr fr 💀

Why d gotdon kind find in this photo tf 😨😨😨 I think I a little too freaky and should stop

For a sec I lost you in my 600 Barney photos, but alls good cus I found it !!! 😍😍😍

[zinnynia]

alyx vance jumpscare

I’m like… not sorry 😔 got a little too freaky here tbh but lowkey drawing in Roblox is kinda fun

^^ the person was NOT pleased with this image I drew of them. And yes, I also drew them pregnant

[zinnynia]

NOT BARNEY POSTING OR EVEN BUTCHERY WILLIAM LMAOOODJRI 😭😭😭😭😭

I a freak and spent a lil too long on this 😔😔😔 Digital Circus woulda been good if Gummigoo lived smhhhhh he was the only reason why I watched

[zinnynia]

Freehoun backpack!!! 😍😍😍

So today while on the bus to work, a guy noticed my backpack and kept looking at me, until we sat down and he complimented my bag!!! 😍😍😍

He was a really nice guy. Hopefully I run into him again!!!! 😍😍😍

[zinnynia]

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY, 「Pray」!!!!!!

No one probably cares because this isn't my usual Barney Calhoun posting, and it's an obscure song, but!!! Happy 2nd anniverary!!!

I made a Piano Arrangement in celebration of the song's 2nd Anniversary!! 😍😍😍 honestly ate that up fr fr

I originally made this song for myself, concept alive, but an instrumental. I heard the news of a SynthV song contest happening, so I jumped to work!

It sounded pretty rough, so of course I didn't win. BUTTT! For its 1st anniversary last year, I made a remastered version!

!!TW!!: Hints of Domestic/Child Abuse + Suicide (especially in the Description) (and up ahead 💀💀💀)

The song is about a little girl (she's 8) in a messed up household, using Religion as a coping mechanism. One night, a shining figure appeared in front of her and told her to pray to him. She would continuously pray to the figure, which made things in her family look better, until it didn't. She started to doubt the figure, but he simply told her that she wasn't putting enough faith into him. So in the end, to prove her faith and worth, she took her own life doing so.

I can NOT stress how much I love this story (and song), mostly because it has some parts relating to me (my major depression in 4th grade + dysfunctional family + praying to things except I wasn't really too serious about it), but because there's LOREEE 😍😍😍 OMGGG!!! I'm basically making a Visual Novel about this, and it may take many years to finish (I'm still building the base of the story). I unintentionally took inspiration off of FNaF and Half Life (I started constructing this story WAAY before I got into HL).

Who knows if she's now in a better place now. I can't say she is, at least.