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Buzzfeed Unsolved - Supernatural: The Puzzling Possession of Alex Quackity

Today, we cover the life of  Alex Quackity, a former politician, general, and casino owner. But is his life simply a tale of the corruption of power? Or is there something darker at play?

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now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into

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this is like just a fourth of a whole musical medley addressing that you can’t live like the simpsons anymore. harsh :(

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We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

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gun memes but I made them anomalocaris

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i cannot believe that i am only now learning about the dinosaur king drama

in case you’ve never heard of dinosaur king:

it’s a pretty mediocre anime from the early 90s, that was pretty much just made to market this dinosaur trading card game. the plot was extremely boring (until stuff suddenly started happening around episode 35), and for some reason they decided to have all the dinosaur fights with these incredibly stiff 3d models, which was.. a choice..

all together it was so bad that it’s good (but not particularly good), and kinda forgettable

and then they decided that it needed a remake. they were releasing some new toys, and a video game was being worked on, so in 1999 they released a fucking remake of that weird show

the writers and producers were these two austrian guys, suppenheimer and vemovich

the remake was planned to be two seasons

the original dinosaur king had two seasons as well, the first had 49 episodes, and the second had 30 episodes

the remake was 60 episodes total, and completely ignored season two of the original

suppenheimer and vemovich only retold season one, expanded it a bit, reshuffled some events (namely putting the twist from episode 35 way earlier), giving the characters actual motivations… they actually managed to make the show good

(they still kept in the weird 3d dinosaurs, and the card game tie-ins, because at the core the show was still about marketing the toys)

and then season two ended, neatly tying up the story, and it was genuinely good

and then the network renewed the show for a third season

suppenheimer was done with the show at that point. they only ever wanted to make two seasons, and they had told exactly the story that they wanted to tell, so they were out

but vemovich wasn’t done yet, so he stayed on and wrote season three.

and season four.

and…

the entire remake turned out to be twenty seasons long

and it got weird, lemme tell you

the very first thing vemovich introduced in season three of dinosaur king, the anime about dinosaurs and traveling to the ancient past, was alien space pirates

which i guess makes sense, because they can travel through time, so the future is technically also viable

and then season six was all about one of the main characters becoming a werewolf? which was never fixed, but they also just never mention it at any point after the season six finale

season eleven was all about the love story between one of the supporting cast and one of the antagonists (who had a redemption arc early in season two, but vemovich cast him as a villain again anyway starting in season four)

season sixteen only had one episode where any dinosaurs appeared?? in a show called dinosaur king? and i’m pretty sure they said the word “dinosaur” zero times in that entire season

it was weird, okay, the entire remake was weird after season two

meanwhile, on the forums (and later on twitter), suppenheimer has completely divorced themselves from the show’s production, but they are definitely still watching, and loudly complaining

suppenheimer and vemovich were actually said to be on pretty good terms during the production of the first two seasons, but after that suppenheimer got mean

[id: a tweet by @ cimminimmi from december 2016 that reads “what was the worst show you guys watched this year?”, with a reply from @ suppi_sr (suppenheimer’s twitter) that reads “dinosaur king. for the 5th year in a row.” end id.]

we never really heard anything from vemovich. he was never on any of the forums, and he had a rule of never publicly interacting with any hate whatsoever

so we had suppenheimer just tearing the show down at every point, calling for people to stop watching, and even making several petitions to have the show cancelled, none of which ever went anywhere of course

because we then got season seventeen, which introduces vemovich’s author insert. they are absolutely not subtle about it, the character pretty much goes “hey, my name is vemovich, i’m the guy who is writing this story”

and he just occasionally pops up during the next four seasons

and then season nineteen and twenty are building up to this great unseen danger that is threatening to wipe out the universe

and at the very goddamn end of season twenty, the finale of the entire show, the big threat is finally revealed

so, i’ve said that this entire thing is an anime with weird 3d dinosaurs inserted into it

the big bad, the last villain that was threatening to destroy the fabric of reality… was suppenheimer

a live action suppenheimer, who is greenscreened into the anime world

he is of course stopped by vemovich’s author insert, who up to that point had been 2d animated, but now he is also greenscreened into the show

so the goddamn epic finale of the show is a live action suppenheimer and vemovich fighting, using 3d animated dinosaurs, on this 2d animated battlefield

it looked bad

and then the show is over

but this story is still going

because suppenheimer has spent the last eighteen years tearing apart the show and tearing apart vemovich publicly at least once per week

and then, two years after the show is over

those bastards tweet out that they are married

[id: a twitter conversation between vemovich, suppenheimer, and twitter user abblycidre from october 2021. vemovich is replying “love you, babe” to suppenheimer. suppenheimer replies “love you too.” abblycidre replies “don’t you two have beef?” suppenheimer replies “we can have beef and be married at the same time. it’s fine.” abblycidre replies “married?!” in all caps. vemovich replies “last i checked we’ve been married for 13 years now, yeah”. end id.]

so i guess the tweet where suppenheimer threatened to divorce vemovich wasn’t a joke after all

[a tweet by suppenheimer from june 2012 that reads “@ vemovich. if you don’t stop ruining dinosaur king i will divorce you.” end id.]

suppenheimer and vemovich have been living together for the entire goddamn run of the dinosaur king remake, while suppenheimer was constantly starting shit about the show online

they’ve been dating since before the show even started, and they got married during season nine, and they’ve just been keeping up those personas for twenty fucking years

and i just kinda don’t know what to do with my life now that i know that

what the fuck did those guys’ home life look like?!

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The most beautiful folktales from Ukraine

A list of folktales from Ukraine. Some Ukrainian, some Rusyn, some Cossack, some Hungarian. It is a diverse country with many beautiful traditions. (Links in the titles)

The first pysanky

The origin story of the famous Ukrainian painted eggs. One year a harsh winter arrives early, and people collect half-frozen birds that could not migrate away in time. They care for them in their own homes throughout the winter. When the warm weather comes, the birds fly away, and bring beautiful colorful eggs as a sign of gratitude: the first pysanky. (This one also has a picture book retelling.)

The Christmas spiders

One of the most beautiful Christmas tales I know. Spiders explore a family’s tree, covering it in silver thread - and, true to the miracle of the season, the threads actually turn into tinsel.

Ivan, the giant’s son

A poor man chases his youngest son away, and the boy takes service in the home of a friendly giant. When he grows into a young warrior, the giant sends him out in various directions to defeat vampires. He hacks his way through cursed forests and makes deserts bloom again. He also kills a dragon and rescues a princess.

The princess who slapped a dragon

A Transcarpathian variant of a well-known tale type, but with a marvelous twist. Three superpowered brothers rescue a princess, but on the way back a shapeshifting dragon takes the place of one of them. The brother left behind has to find a way down the Glass Mountain to reveal the truth before the dragon marries the princess. When he does, the princess takes matters into her own hand. Quite literally.

The tulip soldiers

A Hungarian historical legend from Transcarpathia. A boy (who later grew up to be revolution leader Rákóczi Ferenc II) protects his mother’s tulips from a sudden hailstorm. Later, when their castle is besieged, the grateful flowers transform into colorful soldiers, and protect the boy and his family.

The boy who wanted to walk on the clouds

There’s a whole collection of Transcarpathian folktales, but this one is probably my favorite story in the collection. A boy dreams of walking on the clouds while everyone believes he is a fool. He sets out on an adventure, climbs a mountain, and eventually finds his way to the Cloud Kingdom - proving that dreams do come true.

Boris, Son of Three

A boy is adopted by three brothers, who name him Boris, Son of Three. He sets out on a great adventure involving treasures, firebirds, and the Sun itself, until he finds a kingdom and a happy ending.

The poor man and the Raven Czar

A giant raven makes a man choose between his meager wealth and his son - and the poor man chooses right. In exchange the raven czar offers him a reward, and the son of the man sets out to claim it. I like this story because it subverts some old folktale tropes.

The origin of the Tisza River

A magical Rusyn legend about the river Tisza, which flows from the Ukraine across Hungary until it joins the Danube in Serbia. A kind fairy from the salt caves turns two fearsome giants into two bears - then, to protect people from the bears, but still give use to their strength, she turns them into two great rivers.

Sirko and the Wolf

An old dog is chased away from home for being useless. He befriends a wolf, who comes up with a plan to help. He pretends to steal a child, so the dog can rescue it; after that, the dog is cherished by people again. In exchange he invites the wolf to a feast in secret - and when people try to attack him, the dog helps him get away.

Foxy-Loxy

I just wanted to add here that Ukrainian folktales have a really fun female trickster, a vixen that gets back at a mean wolf in various creative ways. Yay!

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It laughs, it laughs, a multitude of overlapped voices whispering their amusement as Techno strains to hold on to the last of his consciousness. All he can hear is them.

“Give me Tommy,” he thinks. “Give me Tommy, you fucking bitch.”

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...do my Minecraft villagers think I can't talk? The player never makes any noise close to language in-game...do they know that my little crouch dance means hi? Are they learning that when the strange flying one who doesn't speak holds out armfulls of wheat to them that means they want to trade? Are they just used to being silently shuffled away from ledges by this cryptic protector who eats golden food and doesn't seem to need sleep?? Why have I never thought of this before, the villagers must be so confused by dealing with me...

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A tale in 4 parts

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Childhood made everything feel like it lingered. The time it took for hot chocolate to cool down was eternal. Christmas day took weeks. The two-hour drive to my grandparents' house took us to a new world. It's all too fast now.

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