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love elizabeth s.

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i never want to leave the macbook photo booth era :3

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"I think about leaving sometimes."

"Where would you go?"

"Anywhere. Just not here."

Feeling miserable lately.

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"i fucked myself up getting attached to you."

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during fall 2023™️ (19, misdiagnosed & taking high levels of the WRONG medication) i used to post these “memes” on my instagram story before my 8hr shift at the grocery store, find a man on tinder for my plans that night (how TF am I still alive????), and then wake up at 5am the next day for my next shift.

so here’s some of the horrors of that season:

- nearly failed my first college class ( + earned an EW on my transcript)

- had no place to live for an entire week & isolated myself in a hotel room w/ barely any extra clothing

- men! (derogatory)

- had my first kiss with a guy who had the same name as my dad

- worked 40 hrs a week doing manual labor and purely survived off of caffeine instead of sleep

- had at least 30 people watch me forget a speech I was presenting & stare into space

- called my psychiatrist to tell him the medication was making me miserable only for him to up my dosage to four pills a day (this did not end well)

- front seat of my car was COVERED in trash & i could barely clean it (my co-worker found out & told our work friend group)

- spent $200 on the worst flash tattoo i have ever seen

- drove 150 miles and spent $90 to see a concert @ 7pm for a first date, only to not make it in the venue (he made me wait outside for 2hrs)

- *in the Panera Bread parking lot bawling in my car* a man came up to my window and knocked on it asking to pray for me (i let him)

^^ he was very kind & I appreciated the kindness and concern!!!!!

let this be a reminder that if they move you to a different psychiatrist three times, you may or may not be the problem (2/3 of them no longer practice apparently???)

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Sometimes I am still there,

On the bus,

With my dad.

I'm looking out of the window,

It's a sunny day.

And we are laughing,

Because he was funny

back then.

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Slowly accepting the fact that no matter how deep the bond is, no matter how happy those memories are, the day will come you'll end up taking different paths and move on.

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Holding on to hurt.

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Maturity is not seeking revenge. It's healing and moving on, so you don’t become like the people who traumatized you.

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List of character flaws that can be prominent in villains

Rebellion: Strong opposition to authority figures and societal norms.

Manipulativeness: Tendency to exploit others for personal gain.

Cruelty: Enjoyment or indifference to causing suffering in others.

Narcissism: Excessive self-love and lack of empathy for others.

Arrogance: Overestimation of one's own abilities and importance.

Impulsiveness: Acting without considering consequences or long-term effects.

Deceitfulness: Habitual lying and deception to achieve goals.

Entitlement: Belief that one is inherently deserving of special treatment or privileges.

Distrust: Difficulty trusting others, often stemming from past betrayals or trauma.

Insecurity: Deep-seated feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness, leading to defensive or aggressive behavior.

Jealousy: Resentment towards others' successes or possessions.

Vengefulness: Desire for revenge against perceived wrongs or slights.

Machiavellianism: Willingness to manipulate and exploit others for personal gain.

Sadism: Deriving pleasure from inflicting pain or suffering on others.

Paranoia: Irrational suspicion and distrust of others' intentions.

Egocentrism: Difficulty seeing beyond one's own perspective and needs.

Addiction: Dependency on substances or behaviors that impair judgment and control.

Rage: Explosive outbursts of anger or violence.

Perfectionism: Setting unattainably high standards for oneself and others, leading to frustration and resentment.

Hubris: Excessive pride or self-confidence, often leading to downfall.

Sociopathy: Lack of empathy or remorse for one's actions, often accompanied by manipulative behavior.

Psychopathy: Antisocial behavior, lack of empathy, and disregard for social norms and moral standards.

Obsession: Fixation on a particular person, goal, or idea to the detriment of everything else.

Fearfulness: Paralyzing fear or anxiety that drives destructive behavior.

Isolation: Withdrawal from social interactions and relationships, leading to further detachment and hostility.

Codependency: Unhealthy reliance on others for validation and self-worth, often resulting in manipulative or controlling behavior.

Nihilism: Belief in the meaninglessness of existence, leading to a disregard for moral and ethical considerations.

Megalomania: Delusions of grandeur and a desire for unlimited power and control.

Impatience: Frustration with delays or obstacles, leading to rash decisions and reckless actions.

Self-destructiveness: Subconsciously sabotaging one's own success or well-being due to deep-seated issues or trauma.

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Signs of Attraction

Mirroring your movements unconsciously.

Frequent light touches on your arm or back during conversation.

Persistent eye contact, with pupils dilated when looking at you.

Quick glances at your lips while talking.

Frequent, almost nervous laughter in response to your jokes.

Finding excuses to start or extend conversations.

Revealing personal details in hopes of creating a deeper connection.

Sudden interest in your hobbies or activities.

Adjusting clothing or hair when they notice you looking.

Offering compliments not just about your appearance, but your qualities or achievements.

Standing closer to you than to others in a group.

Making plans for future meetings without a specific reason.