yesnoactually - Tumblr blog

[yesnoactually]

It's the Dutch national elections today!

And I'm working at the polls.

So, for y'all non-Dutch ppl here, this is what our ballots look like:

You vote for one specific candidate. The longests lists are from VVD and D66 and they consist of no less than 80 people.

Unfortunately I have no cat for reference scale but it's ginormous. I've seen a lot of ppl struggle with folding it.

So far the turnout has been great at my station and we haven't even hit the evening rush yet. The polls suggest more than 50% of voters are unsure who to vote for, so turnout is probably gonna go up by Quite A Bit as it gets dark.

Pssst, Nederlandse tumblrinas, hier een tip:

Ga stemmen!

[yesnoactually]

read the words on my lips, kiss them to answer.

no need to knock the door i know it’s you, just slip right and make yourself at home.

put your feet upon te table and hold me in your arms, like you’ve been here a thousand times and will be here a thousand more.

watch me give you all you want and more, feel yourself sink in my words.

*I love you*

[yesnoactually]

It’s starting to hurt again, get bad again.

The agony comes back peeking around the corner.

each night, each day, each breath i take is a quivering one.

waiting, anticipating the worst is yet to come.

just put me somewhere nobody can see me shake and cry and beg for death.

to hurt is to live but hurting much isnt worth living.

i want to be normal and feel the pain of love and friendship not of death and despair

[yesnoactually]

In the end its all about love isnt it?

platonic

romantic

the wanting to be buried close to a dear one

the holding of the hands of a stranger

the helping those who probably cant be healed no matter what you try

in the end

love is all there is

all there ever will be

love will always be there

if you look very, very closely

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

i found out the hard way

that not everyone hates their body

not everyone avoids the mirror

not everyone sees the characteristics of the sexes as a sure way to hate themselves

“i would make such a pretty boy” i say

so now i will be what i was always meant to be

always wanted to be

A Pretty Boy

with a body that matches the mind

the mirrors will be uncovered

the self love will be there for the first time

and i will be me

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

getting older

hopefully

waiting not so patiently for the end

because with all thats current

i dont see the end taking much longer

so

when i find that first gray hair

i’ll be finally set free

i’ll finally die happily knowing that getting older was meant for me

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

why am i scared to look up in to the mirror?

scared i’ll see what i’ve always known is there

the black figures i see in the corner of my eyes

i see things flying, walking, hiding and smiling beside me

i feel like i wasnt produced properly

a wolf howling at the sun

something isnt right

but its nice to have a friend i suppose

i know they’ll never leave

reassuring in some way

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

I’m not satisfied

the words i choose are so repetitive

as if my vocabulary is a faulty radio

playing the same song over and over again

just to make itself understood

what if it isnt

divine

hedonistic

sensual

depressing

loving

melancholic

erotic

what if i changed them to

ethereal

pleasurable

loving

hurtfull

nostalgic with a tinge of sadness

sexual

it wouldn’t work

its my own

its so safe using those words

like a blanket

thats it

thats all i have to say

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

I want to know what will be in a few years

if i will be loved by something other than friendship

touched by kisses

maybe there will someone drawing soft circles on my back

maybe they will tell me goodmorning and goodnight everyday

or

maybe the crying will never stop

the blues will stay

and the day will not go by in a haze of laughter and sensuality

do i want to know what the future holds?

or does ignorance truly mean bliss?

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

breathe…

don’t panic

don’t look away

the things i see

the things i say

are like hallucinations

the sorrows of the mind

the very pits of pain

pull me out

dust me off

say

“think, feel, breathe and you shall prevail”

breathe…

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

Red

red as the wounds

i made for myself

red as the lips

i so desperately want to kiss

red as the blood

running through all veins

red as the light

of those who lie dormant

red the colour

of pain

and love

so close pleasure and pain

yet so very far

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

it’s just like riding a bike they say

they say you’ll learn

i never did

i may never will

to love is to learn

but i’ve never loved

nor have i ever been loved

i would like to learn tho

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

“if you read this i’ll be dead”

thats what they always say isnt it?

the forward

the backward

the i’ll be dead soon who cares

the i’ll read that later

i still have time

right?

time is a fickle thing it is

the reading of the book

can’t wait

the walking out the door to a new day

can’t wait

the i love you so stick with me

can’t wait

because soon there will be a letter

reading,

“if you read this i’ll be dead”

“i’m so sorry it had to end this way”

so take your time

grasp it with both hands

and let it take you wherever it needs

if not for you

for someone who ran out

had no time

had no love left to give

had no grudges left to feel

stopped feeling all together

please?

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

dauntless

oh to be dauntless

fearless

grabbing the bull by its hornes

that kind of dauntless

the kind where you would

willingly at that

admit fault

admit love

admit hate

admit that

you of all people really are

quite incompetent

to be the freedom itself

the wings on a bird

the mouth of a sailor

the colours of the sky

daunting isn’t it?

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

dying isn’t something done

silently

willingly

it’s something that takes time

effort

grace

love

and lots of hate, revenge and despair

dying takes time

is done with care

lots of yearning for it

when the time is near

love it

or

hate it

you’ll be suprised at how much

you will want it

when it’s all said and done

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

yellow

my favorite colour

the colour of the sun

when you look at it

the colour of the warmth that fills me

when i speak to you

the sparkles in your eyes

yellow

like the bees that give us life

like the daffodils in the field i want to roam in

everything will be yellow at one point

from the sky to the deepest sea

well that is when i’m i charge

-Frances

[yesnoactually]

an end

a beginning

and also the middle bit

i’ve had the beginning

didnt like it all that much

the end will probably be soon

you know given the state of things

but the middle im still searching for

how will it turn out?

will it be nice like a rainy day with a lover

or

will it be awful, vile and horrible

like all other things have been

probably the latter

so i will prepare

gear up

for whatever will come my way

because for some reason quitting isnt an option

-Frances