yellowfeverem

[yellowfeverem]

My friend said I was unsupportive, but if you were standing on a bridge wouldn't you rather have a friend who would help you down instead of supporting your decision to jump?

[yellowfeverem]

sometimes I think it would be so cute to wear bae’s clothes. and then i remember what happened to patroclus

[yellowfeverem]

When you're an alcoholic nothing is sacred.

[yellowfeverem]

Every time I go to the doctor she asks if I have a boyfriend and I'm reminded that I will die alone around surrounded by many cats that will probably feast upon my dead body.

[yellowfeverem]

Cruffin, Bruffin, Rekt, Piecaken…

Please, let me put down my boring toast and learn a new language so we can have a normal conversation.

[yellowfeverem]

Europe's banned it

Person: I want a good guard dog, so I'm getting my dog's ears cropped so he can hear better Me: that's nice. Can you come here for a second? Person: where did those scissors come from Me: no reason, I just need you to hold very still Person: why are you holding my ear Me: don't worry, you'll be able to hear better

[yellowfeverem]

It's called torture for humans

If you're okay with declawing your cat that's your decision, but please don't be offended when I pull your finger nail out.

[yellowfeverem]

Got scammed by a website today, so I’m Netflixing apocalypse TV shows to feel better about myself.

[yellowfeverem]

I eat as a recreational sport

[yellowfeverem]

I've reached that point in my life when "fall back" makes me just as happy as Christmas.

[yellowfeverem]

in history we were taking a test and in the dead silence this boy says in a normal conversation voice "I ate a mcgridle today."

[yellowfeverem]

The only thing I don't regret about being 13 was when I made a boy cry and I felt guilty yet powerful enough to start a dictatorship.

[yellowfeverem]

I wonder if Taylor swift's parents have shown her boyfriend her baby pictures yet.

[yellowfeverem]

I feel like Taylor Swift and her brother laugh at/make fart jokes together and her brother tells her her relationship with her cats isn’t normal. (like my brother).

[yellowfeverem]

my texts were either written by an English professor or a 17th century illiterate sailor. There is no in between.