yello0oooooo

[yello0oooooo]

Here, let me do what other people do, too: I was heartbroken, and this is what I learned

[yello0oooooo]

I have finally come to realize and fully understand why real depressed people literally shut their mouth and keep things by themselves Because, in the end, it’s bs. No one actually understands. Some might act like they care but they barely understand. Or that they may say things very nicely as if cheering you up and saying you’ve got their back however judging you behind your back. Thinking of you as a pathetic being. “Someone who can’t be grateful.” Telling you nice things they never really mean. Nothing is genuine when it comes off of healthy people’s thoughts. They think it’s our mistake to become this way. And they will blame you and they will leave you eventually. Eventually. The day will come.

So you better shut up. Shut up and be depressed by yourself. Hurt yourself and tell no one. Cuz no one will care. No one will. No one will understand. Whether you are alive. Whether you are dead. You will still be seen as a disappointment. Gotta let nobody know, cuz nobody really cares. You are and will never get to be anyone’s no. 1 priority.

[yello0oooooo]

for there will come a time when we won’t be able to see each other again...

Forever.

[yello0oooooo]

How,

not to cry.

[yello0oooooo]

How do you fix a broken heart?

How, to fix a broken heart.

[yello0oooooo]

People are so irritating,

so irritating,

so irritating.

[yello0oooooo]

My Benvolio;

is always a peace-maker;

as his name suggests, he is everybody’s well-wisher (Cain, 1934).

One day, you see him tearing apart.

[yello0oooooo]

You can talk

‘Cause I can not!

[yello0oooooo]

"Get on the mic!" Paul said to John. He did not shout, no nothing. He pointed to his mic, apparently relaying a gesture to his pal, rather nervous.

And John, giggling, all eyes toward Yoko. Upon Paul's request, the starry eyes promptly vanished, in a split second he eventually was in extreme repugnance.

John, picking up his mic, then muttered, "Well you don't have to bitch about it."

What probably happened on the site lol. Since Paul obviously would never tell John to get OFF the mic. Anyone who wrote the title of the video above is shit!!!!!

[yello0oooooo]

🌻 My Very Own Coffee Latte Recipe 🌻

EDIT: You know what, turned out that the one I posted earlier was not my recipe. Sigh. I got it from Youtube and I guess it won't hurt to have it here as well. Hence I'm gonna give you TWO recipes: 1) the one I got from Youtube and 2) my very own coffee latte recipe. Here you go:

Espresso: 1/4 cup (59 ml) water, 1/4 cup (32 g) coffee powder (1/4 cup sugar ??? o yeah issoke) sigh everything equal, boil 30-40 seconds. Heat the melk (500 ml?) until iy becomes foamy (raising to the top)

LATTE: 2 portions of espresso, steamed milk, veeeeery little bit of milk foam

Cappucono: even distribution of the three TEMPERATURE OF THE MILK NEEDS TO BE CORRECT... u know what nvm

How to make a foam: using a hand blender or a whisk jsakskjdksksks blend or whisk the milk

K apparently a lot of ppl in the comment section said that instant foffwe is supposed to be mixed with lukewarm wayer not to be boiled with hot worwr

Here is my own coffee latte recipe!!!

Making my own low-budget espresso with nescafe. It is a mini sachet of nescafe + 100 ml lukewarm water + 1 tbsp of sugar (if you don't fancy bitter coffee AT ALL, add another spoonful of sugar)

Whisk/blend/shake a 60~70 ml milk (no need to be warmed) until it becomes foamy

Mix them and VOILA!!!!!!

(A picture will probably be attached by tomorrow, I guess.)

I LOVE MY COFFEE AS MUCH AS YOU RICH ASS PEOPLE LOVE UR SBUX. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

[yello0oooooo]

This list will be constantly updated and growing in size

If I can create a superhuman, namely my unrealistic future husband, it will be him:

Primary list:

As religious as I am MUCH MORE religious than I am!

(new) INTELLECTUALLY CONNECTED, period.

(new) Understands my emotions. And is emotive himself. Understands just how complex my thinking process is. Will never mock me for being too sensitive. The one who can bear with it.

(new) Doesn't smoke

(new) Is not harsh, not using bad words

I don’t necessarily need a good looking man, as long as he shaves because I’m not a fan of facial hair. Nice arms and hands are a +

Someone who willingly and happily wants to, and will never get tired to LISTEN to my stories, my ideas, well basically everything that comes out of my mouth

Has to like my cats...

Must not smell bad

Will never, EVER shout at me

Does not whine over little things (like my mother)

Is not cold at me

Is not short tempered

Intellectually connected w me (turned out I wrote this already uhh..)

Understands my humour

Modest

Understands my family issues

Is not money oriented/materialistic, living modestly

Shares similar musical taste with me.... if possible

(new) Is able to talk with me NON-STOP without getting bored

Secondary list:

(new) Soft, deeeeeeeeeep voice

Someone who plays guitar

And sings well, I once had a uhh idk a crush who often serenaded me every night with his guitar but his voice was just horribly horrible, thank god his guitar playing is beautiful

Likes durian

Wants to go to museums with me on weekly basis

Not really into fashion/don’t care much about fashion because I don't lol

[yello0oooooo]

Have you ever seen someone with such a beautiful smile, so beautiful that it melts your heart?

Well, the thing is, a smile is God-given, so when we praise them do we need to say "Thank God you have a beautiful smile" ?

That'll be weird though.

[yello0oooooo]

Objectively speaking, material wise, would it be any better if I die?

Or if one of us die?

[yello0oooooo]

I WANT TO HAVE A HELLA TALL BOYFRIEND i mean HUBBY!!!!!!!!!! (This is a title)

It is scientifically proven that tall guys are more prominent to have deep voices.

That’s sexy.

[yello0oooooo]

28 February 2020 12.19

When people say that Zuko’s redemption arc was no joke, outstandingly genius, I never really took it seriously...

But after thinking for a while, trying to look upon him deeper, watching several video essays of Zuko, I am getting it. His character was scarred, he “changed” although never becomes someone so perfect, (he even struggled at first being a fire lord and frustrated he would become his father in the future, explained in the comic The Promise 😛) HOWEVER he actually never changed, tbh, it was really true that he just finally RECOGNIZED his true self, built his own morals, BY HIMSELF, with the help of Iroh and partially due to Ursa of course. He’s always a good kid at first place; we cannot COMPARE him to Azula. He’d been born and growing up as a weak-hearted individual, Zuko is hella soft and he HAS been that way, and he always had his honor in first place... and he found it. Within himself. He found it HIMSELF.

Guess who has beaten Iroh’s position in my biases list��😂😂😂

[yello0oooooo]

12 March 2020 22.06

He called my name.

I trembled. My heart beat faster than ever.

It was hard to breathe. The world felt like it has stopped.

Why would he do that, at first place?

Why does he always be like that? For what purpose?

It’s confusing. And I decline to find out.

Not to hope. And not to know what, and why.

Perhaps he’s bored. Perhaps he’s just like that to anyone.

Perhaps, I have never been, not even once, special to him.

Perhaps, I’ve been thinking what I am wanting

Though not what is actually happening.

Perhaps, I am just fooling myself.

Let’s just take it like that.

[yello0oooooo]

5 October 2019 01.13

[00:38 am thoughts]

Sering kepikiran ga sih?

Bahwa, cepat atau lambat, kita bakal ninggalin tempat ini.

Bakal ninggalin PPM.

Pada waktu yang sudah ditentukan...

Sampe detik ini, masih suka ga kuat ngeliat personel PPM pada pergi satu persatu. Pulang, dan tidak akan pernah kembali...

Menempuh hidup baru. Memulai hidup yang sebenarnya. Meninggalkan seluruh kebiasaan yang pernah kita lakuin bersama-sama.

Aku sendiri, (kalo bisa lulus pada waktunya, haha) masih punya waktu sekitar 5 semester lagi di PPM. Tapi, waktu 2 tahun setengah yang akan dilalui itu ga bakal kerasa. Tiba-tiba ajaa nanti udah wisuda. Ngomong-ngomong soal wisuda, aku suka kepikiran, pengeeeen banget yg dateng ke wisuda aku nanti rame. Pengen banget wisuda aku nanti dihadirin sama semua mas-mba yang saat ini masih bernaung di PPM. Tapi, kalo ngomongin soal wisuda, jadi sedih juga. Selama ini aku selalu semangat dateng ke wisuda mas-mas dan mba-mba PPM. Tapi, orang-orang yg aku datengin ini ga bakal hadir di wisuda aku nanti...

Dan rasa sedih ditinggalin anak PPM itu selalu hadir di setiap tahunnya, (dan mungkin bakal selalu kerasa lebih sedih di tiap tahunnya). Aduh, susah digambarin sih. Rasa sedih yg kumaksud adalah, setiap tahunnya, orang-orang di PPM tuh beda. Ada yg baru dateng, which it means that I need to get to know them from zero, dan ada juga yg bakal pergi. Momen yg kerasa tiap tahun tuh beda-beda, karena orangnya beda-beda... dulu aku suka cemburu gt tiap mba awid cerita tentang alumni-alumni PPM dulu, yg aku ga kenal, dan keliatan bgt dr cara mba awid cerita kalo mba awid tuh sayaaang bgt sama mereka. Dan aku br bisa relate sama perasaan mba awid itu sekarang, di tingkat 2 ini. Gimana rasa sedihnya (bakal) kangen sm alumni-alumni yg dulu. Gimana rasa sedihnya pas kita jadi angkatan paling tua di PPM. Gimana semua org manggil kita dengan sembutan “mba”, dan gaada lagi yg bisa kita panggil dengan sebutan mas/mba di gedung PPM.. :”)

Sedihnya itu, loh, kalo nganterin mas-mas atau mba-mbanya pulang. Pas perpisahan, kita mikir, duh, ni orang udah ga tinggal lagi di PPM. Udah gabisa liat dia lagi besok di PPM... dan anak-anak PPM tuh berasal dari daerah yg bermacam2, dari seluruh Indonesia lah bisa dibilang. Yang mana bakal susah bgt untuk bisa ketemu lg sama mereka satu persatu. Mikirin ini aja udh berat:”)

Dan bakal lebih sedih lagi mikirin pas saatnya KITA yang harus pergi dari PPM. Harus pulang. Untuk selamanya. Dan ga akan pernah kembali lagi. Ga pake kartu kuning lagi, dan musti pindah sambung permanen...

Harus ninggalin kebiasaan-kebiasaan yang sudah dibangun selama bertahun-tahun. Meninggalkan, (mungkin dapukan bagi yang punya dapukan), tim kreatif, dewan guru beserta keluarga, ninggalin temen-temen santri yg lain...

Emang bener, kita harus manfaatin waktu kita sebaik-baiknya di PPM. Karena setiap harinya di PPM itu berharga. Di PPM ini lah ladang kebaikan bisa kita cari sebanyak-banyaknya. Di PPM ini lah kita bisa saling ingat mengingatkan. Jangan sampe kita pergi dari PPM belum khatam, atau masih ada slek sama orang lain. Aduh, bakal nyesel bgt ga sih:”)

Satu hal yang bikin aku sedih bgt ninggalin PPM adalah, karena, secara tidak langsung, PPM sudah memberikan aku satu kenang-kenangan—nama “Jeje”. Nama yang baru aku dapetin di sini. Kalo ada yg manggil Jeje, oh, pasti itu anak PPM. Cuma anak PPM yang manggil aku dengan nama itu. Kebayang ga sih, pas aku lulus nanti, ga akan ada lagi orang di sekitarku yang manggil aku dengan sebutan itu? Kebayang ga sih, suatu hari nanti, bisa aja aku bakal lupa sama nama itu?

Di PPM, setiap waktunya berharga.

Jadi, Jeje, aku harap kamu bisa selalu merasa bersyukur dan bahagia di setiap detik yang kamu habiskan di tempat ini, bersama orang-orang ini. Kamu harus merasa bersyukur, betapa indahnya qodar yang Allah tulis untuk kamu, bisa bertemu sama orang-orang ini. Dan kamu harus tau, betapa bahaginya kamu bisa menghabiskan waktu bersama orang-orang ini. Karena, pada saatnya nanti, kamu akan merindukan masa-masa ini. Merindukan orang-orang ini. Merindukan tempat ini, dengan segala ceritanya...

Baik buruknya pengalaman yang kamu rasakan di sini akan tetap jadi cerita yang indah buat kamu.

Jadi, jangan pernah ngerasa sedih, jangan pernah muncul rasa benci di hati kamu atas satu-satunya orang di PPM. Sebab tiap-tiap dari mereka itu, dengan porsinya masing-masing, berharga untuk kamu. Dan mungkin tanpa kamu sadari, kamu juga berharga bagi mereka :)

Keep the love, and keep the spirit, Jeje!