xyuna0

[xyuna0]

Anti-Romantic | CHAPTER ONE | 18+

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

THE LOVE FRUIT

“Mangoes. A criminally overlooked aphrodisiac. People call it the love fruit, you know.”

«SERIES MASTERLIST»

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader Genre: Non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, mentions of emotionally abusive ex, controlling friendships, heavy fantasizing, masturbation (m and f), sitophilia (food play) Word Count: 16.3k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

“What is love?”

Hyunjin looks out at the expanse of eager minds in front of him, everyone blurring together in the darkened auditorium. He can’t see any of their faces, but it doesn’t matter. He’s only been on the stage for approximately thirteen seconds, but he already knows that they’re watching him in that familiar, delicious awe, quietly clawing at the sides of their seats in unbridled enthusiasm and desperation. And he can never blame them— Hyunjin’s kind of a catch. 

He tucks his hands into his navy bespoke Armani trousers, appreciating the feeling of the silky inner lining against his fingertips. Even with such a casual gesture, he’s the picture of elegance; tall, devastatingly handsome, and movements fluid yet calculated, like a prima ballerina. Hyunjin is the kind of beauty that poets waste their lives over, pining over the perfect arch of his cupid’s bow to the aristocratic slope of his nose. As classic as an Italian prince, as unique as the moon herself.

“No, but seriously. What is love?” Hyunjin repeats his question into the mic, once more gracing his enthralled viewers with the rich, seductive notes of his voice. “Is it an emotion, that signal in your brain? A cliche? A cult?”

The audience ponders his words with bated breath, and Hyunjin takes the opportunity to continue.

“Or maybe it’s all just… lust.” Hyunjin whispers the last word while holding eye contact with an unsuspecting victim in the front row. The girl trembles and blushes under his heated gaze, looking down at her shoes in an attempt to hide her frazzled smile. 

With a deliberate smirk, Hyunjin moves on to his next target in the audience. It can be anyone, yet another to fall for his endless charms. No one is immune. The cute reporter in the second row who will interview Hyunjin after he finishes his long awaited TED Talk. A wink. A lady in a big fur coat, old enough to be his grandmother. A beguiling smile. And even the stern looking security guard standing in the back. A brief, but loaded glance. Yep, Hyunjin doesn’t miss Guillermo’s cheeks turning red, even in this atrocious lighting.

A hesitant hand amongst the crowd slowly creeps upwards, bursting Hyunjin out of his momentary flirt bubble. “I think that love isn’t real.”

A smaller spotlight is immediately shined onto the timid speaker. It’s a boy in his early twenties, probably a junior in college, judging by his trendy sweatshirt and the freshness in his features. But that typical hopefulness is absent in his eyes, replaced with despair. 

Heartbreak. 

Hyunjin shoots the student a knowing smile. Because of his passion for the human mind, he had studied psychology in his own university days, before obtaining a doctorate and specializing in counseling— specifically, relationship counseling. He wears many different— and designer— hats: certified dating coach, therapist, and even researcher, when love needs to be approached as a neurological phenomenon in a laboratory setting. But his personal favorite role is being an expert on broken hearts. Something about being able to fix people satisfies the urge in Hyunjin to be the best, to be the brightest. What’s better than giving some of his light to someone who needs it?

“What’s your name?” Hyunjin steps closer to the edge of the stage, now fully focused on this poor fellow. Everyone else in the audience follows Hyunjin’s actions, curiously turning to get a better look of which lucky individual has been able to score a coveted interaction with Hyunjin. 

The boy clears his throat nervously. “It’s Jeongin.”

“Jeongin,” Hyunjin tests, liking the playful feeling of the syllables on his tongue. He decides that the name fits the young man perfectly. “Why do you think that love isn’t real?”

“Because if it can come and go so quickly, it can’t be real.” Jeongin squares his shoulders before sitting up, a new fire in his voice. “If love dies before it’s even born, it must be a joke.”

Well, well, well. 

Not only is this a broken heart, but this is a bitter broken heart— Hyunjin’s kryptonite, in the best possible way. Jeongin’s heart was soaring and then subsequently shattered, becoming one that Hyunjin is now dying to piece together, because there’s nothing he savors more than a challenge. 

“I’ll ask you this.” Hyunjin slips his right hand out of his pocket, running his fingers through his hair. In one smooth motion, the dark, tousled locks fall back into an alluring set of eyes. “Do you want to be happy?”

Jeongin shakes his head, visibly frustrated. “What?”

Hyunjin isn’t deterred. “Love isn’t limited to just one person, Jeongin. Not even people in general.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Love is simply what makes us happy. It’s our unscratchable itch. Our insatiable need. Our comfort in crisis.” Hyunjin takes out the tiny metal laser pointer in his pocket and directs everyone to gaze at the massive screen looming behind him, flipping through the presentation that he prepared himself. Most of the high profile speakers at TED throw that task over to their personal secretaries, but then again, Hyunjin isn’t most people. 

A bowl of soup. A plate of pasta. A dish of chocolate cake. A stacked tower of choux pastry puffs. His audience, as Hyunjin calculated, is bemused with his choice of slideshow content, although Hyunjin is infamous as a loveable eccentric. These are all pictures and no words at all. 

“Is your passion cooking? Could you do it for the rest of your life? Will you just combust if you can’t whip up this croquembouche right this moment? That’s love.” Hyunjin lingers on the image of the French confection. “Love is what makes our cold nights warm again, the very driving force that pushes us to be the greatest possible versions of ourselves.”

If Hyunjin was any other speaker, the same onlookers would burst into laughter and walk away, muttering that he had lost his marbles. Who would try to make a point about the most confounding concept in all creation— the very entity that even the Stanford Encyclopedia of Psychology hesitantly attempted to define— with a series of pictures that belong in an episode of Chopped, not freaking TED? No one except Hyunjin, and rightfully so. It’s the reason why they all keep their backsides glued to the velvet upholstery, respectfully silent and anticipating being enlightened. 

“Love can be platonic, love can be romantic, love can be anything in this whole universe. Love is what makes us human. It reminds us that life is worth it, that after all, maybe there’s something left to fight for.” Hyunjin gives Jeongin a small, but sincere smile. “It’s why I’ve committed myself to helping people find it, to protect it.”

Jeongin sits back in his seat in acceptance, and Hyunjin knows that even though the inferno has just subsided, not been completely put out, the flames probably aren’t so scorching anymore. Maybe he’s scored himself a new client. 

Satisfied, Hyunjin turns back to the rest of his audience hungrily waiting for his eloquent scraps. “I’m Hwang Hyunjin. But you might know me as the Love Doctor.”

There are only so many episodes of Celebrity Wedding Disasters you can binge on Youtube before you begin to feel sick of yourself. Yes, watching freaking Brad Pitt get dumped at the altar makes you feel better about your own hopeless situation. But does it actually help your hopeless situation? No, it does not. Because watching other people suffer the same life as you does not solve your own problems. They’re all still there, at the end of the day, when you come home to an eerily quiet apartment, or in the morning, when you stretch out on your bed just to feel like you’re being swallowed up by the empty space next to you. 

And now? The sound playing from your computer speakers starts to melt into a drone, and the artificial lighting of the videos on the screen blurs your vision, augmenting the sagging under your eyes. You haven’t gotten up from your little space in the corner of your living room in eight hours, resorting to hunching over your computer and surrounding yourself with snacks in case you got hungry. You’re clad in an old pajama set that’s too small for you and wrapped in a blanket that should have been put into the washing machine weeks ago. For the time since you gave up trying to work, you’ve been huddled in a fetal position on your couch, staring at your computer screen with no aim, no purpose.

Bashful rays of light peak through the gaps in the curtains drawn closed over the windows, and the air conditioner sputtered and shut down hours ago, after months of you putting repairs off. And your computer has died, but you’re too lazy to reach over to the outlet and plug your charger back in. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and every other healthy young person is probably out doing something productive or fun, definitely not being cooped up in their apartments after a myriad of trashy videos. But you count your blessings that you aren’t in the worst circumstance, because anything is better than dealing with—

The telltale trill of your cellphone knocks you out of thanking your stars, a cruel coincidence to the appreciation you harbored just moments earlier for the divinities above. The only people who would call you at a time like this— your time— would be the only people who you really, really didn’t want to see right now. You don’t even have to check the caller ID before you’re answering the phone, your signature snark prepared to lash out at any unwelcome dialogue. 

“What?”

“Good morning to you too, Y/N,” Irene chirps, irritating you even further. “Lovely weather today. I’m with Sana and Mina.”

First, she interrupts your quality time brooding on your own, and second, she has the nerve to be cheerful about it. You try not to lose it and just scream at her to fuck off. 

“Let’s skip the small talk, Irene. Can I help you?”

You don’t hate Irene, nor Sana and Mina, for the matter. You’re just tired of their presence in your life. Once upon a time, you were enthralled by these three pretty, wealthy, and perfect girls, letting them take you in and guide you through your youth. A tight-knit group since they were in diapers, the girls wouldn’t let just anyone into their circle, so the fact that they chose you to join them made you feel special. Being a part of them felt like being welcomed into a genuine friendship, a sisterhood. There were horror movie marathons snuggled together in your dorm rooms, gossip and advice sessions on the phone, late night drives with the music blasting on the stereo. 

But that admiration and belonging turned into exhaustion, over time, and they became no better than a stereotypical high school clique. They were suffocating you, filling you with regret of ever meeting them at all. They couldn’t respect that you were your own person, with your own emotions, and that you solely were entitled to governing your actions. Little things built upon each other, and you slowly began to detest them. You truly found out how eroded your relationship with Irene, Sana, and Mina was almost two years ago. You were heartbroken, but all they had told you was to patch up and move on. Showing feeling and falling apart was unacceptable to the “Golden Trio,” as you came to call them, because it was “unhealthy” to them. Complete and utter happiness was always the goal, and you couldn’t bog yourself or the others down. Rest, rinse, and repeat. You came to realize that you would rather reject the good parts of the relationship rather than have your imperfections be dismissed and your life be controlled.

Before replying to you, Irene is quiet for a moment, and you swear you can hear her whispering to the other girls. “Are you still in bed?”

“No.” Technically, you aren’t lying— you’re on the sofa. 

She sighs, seeing straight through your bullshit like she always did, the unspoken ringleader of the whole entourage. “It’s nearly ten in the morning, honey. Why don’t you come out to brunch with us in an hour or so?”

You roll your eyes. You hate when Irene calls you “honey”— it sounds sweet but has the most condescending undertone. “I’m busy.”

“Busy doing nothing. We need to talk to you. Please, Y/N. It’s important.”

Although having yet another fussy and feathery brunch with the Golden Trio is the absolute last thing you believe to be important, you know you have no other option. Irene will keep pestering you until you relent, so it’s better to save yourself the time and just get it over with. Balling up your fist, you reluctantly respond. “Fine.”

“Great! See you soon!” Irene trills, ending the call before you can even say goodbye. Not that you even wanted to, anyway.

With an enraged groan, you flop off of your stomach and open the windows, letting in some fresh air and sunlight. As you gaze outside of your window, observing the city slowly wake up, all you want to do is wallow in your self pity and frustration. For the longest time, you’ve told yourself that you’re fine with being alone; love just isn’t in the cards for someone like you. So you threw yourself into your job, struggling towards achieving your dreams, but as of late, the path to your passion has become another burden in your life. 

Sighing, you shake away your thoughts and tidy up the living room, already put off by the microscopic chip crumbs on the coffee table and the way the throw pillows are strewn about on the rug. After everything is back in place, you make your way over to your room, silently noting that your sofa stay at least meant that you didn’t have to make your bed today. You take a shower and don yourself in your typical uniform of straight jeans, sneakers, and a boxy blazer. Cute, practical, and unassuming. 

Quickly, you scarf down some toast and orange juice, because you definitely will not be able to afford even half of the menu items at the usual restaurant that the Golden Trio dines at for brunch. Before you lock your apartment and leave, you check yourself out in the mirror in the small corridor that houses the entrance.

“Just in and out,” you say to your reflection. “Breathe.”

The drive to brunch is less than fifteen minutes. However, you make a few unnecessary turns around the block in your second-hand Subaru, not ready to face the Golden Trio just yet. 

At exactly eleven, Irene’s profile picture— a headshot taken by a professional photographer— pops up on your phone screen. You ignore it and swiftly find a parking spot among all of the luxury cars, muttering to yourself. The Terrace is an upscale eatery that the Golden Trio frequents for weekend brunches, and you’re unfortunately roped into their plans more often than not. You walk into the restaurant, dodging a businessman in a costly-looking suit and a group of renegading TikTok influencers trying to take pictures. You take your time greeting Keeho, the hilarious UCLA student who hosts at The Terrace during the weekends. And then you scan the outdoor dining patio, as if you don’t already know the location of the Golden Trio’s preferred table by the edge of the patio, the one with the perfect view of the Hollywood sign in the distance.

“Y/N!” Sana gasps in faux surprise as you take your seat next to her. “So nice of you to join us… thirteen minutes late.”

You clench your jaw and force a smile. “Oh, well, you did just call me an hour ago, so.”

Sana returns your sarcasm with an aggressive beam, showing off all of her perfectly aligned, blindingly white teeth. Mina watches the venomous exchange in amusement, while Irene just rolls her eyes.

“Let’s get to the point, ladies.” Irene leans forward, and the other two follow suit, like they always do. 

You stay put in your chair, comfortably leaning back, like you always do. “I’d love to know why you called me to brunch, Irene. You know this isn’t my scene.”

“Nothing besides your damn computer is your scene,” Mina retorts, sipping on her mimosa. Irene purses her lips to hide her grin, while Sana openly cackles.

You glower at them, saying nothing. The Golden Trio sat around the array of gourmet dishes like hens around a feeding hopper, craning for the best cuts and chances of picking on you, as usual. 

“Can you just stop wasting my time and tell me why I’m here?” You take a swig of water, already counting down the minutes until you can make up an excuse and leave early.

The girls exchange knowing glances before Irene zeroes in on you. Even though she’s the oldest out of all four of you, she still looks the most stunning, with her cherry lips and elegant features.

“Y/N, we’ve been thinking that it’s time for you to find someone.” Irene reaches across the table and grasps your hands, making you cringe in surprise. 

You raise an eyebrow at Irene, already dreading what path this conversation is taking. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Irene delicately cuts into her vegetable omelet, taking a small bite. “We just want you to be happy. And we know that it’s been hard, ever since Jisung.”

At the mention of your ex-boyfriend, you wrench your hands out of Irene’s grip. “Don’t you dare bring him up.”

Mina smacks her lips, nonchalantly reapplying her magenta lipstick. “I told you that she’d be angry.”

Irene sighs, massaging her temples. “Be reasonable, Y/N. This is for your own good. You’ve been alone for too long.”

“That is not for you to decide.” You nearly want to laugh out loud at this point. “This is my business. Not yours.”

But then again, the girls have never been able to respect your own feelings. You are their puppet to string along and their doll to dress up. To them, you’re not a real human being, capable of making your own decisions— both good and bad.

Two years ago, you were dumped by your first and last boyfriend, Park Jisung. It was a traumatizing relationship, to say the least. For all your life, you’ve struggled with romance and just the whole idea of intimacy, of getting close to someone and truly letting them see you. Jisung had taken your fragile heart, the one you had so cautiously extended to him, and shattered it on the ground. 

The months you were with him were so full of emotional abuse on his part, that by the time you caught him cheating on you, you weren’t even surprised. You’d pathetically begged him to stay, crying that you’d forgiven him, but after his initial apologies, he’d left you. What made you the angriest wasn’t the anguish he had caused you. It was how he’d gotten the last word, breaking up with you and leaving you behind to rot. You swore that you would never let someone do that to you again. Everyday, you go to bed alone and wake up alone. Every single day, and you don’t have any intention of changing that.

“Of course not,” Sana says, stabbing viciously at her eggs and making you wince. “But you know, appearances matter.”

Irene shakes her head. “Honey, this lonely, mopey look doesn’t suit you. Johnny says that people are talking, saying that you’re some sort of recluse.”

You scoff, blood boiling at the thought of Irene’s fiancé. He grew up on his father’s bottomless wallet and was no better than any stereotypical rich playboy. All he did was run his mouth and on occasion, his damn country club that you couldn’t even afford to step inside.

“She kind of is a recluse,” Mina interrupts. “Like, just get a life, maybe?”

Mina’s words sting, like they always do. But you refuse to give her the satisfaction, instead answering Irene. “I couldn’t care less about Johnny Suh and what his useless friends at the club are saying. I’m fine how I am.”

Sana dabs at her mouth with her napkin, careful not to smudge her makeup. “You’re not, though.”

Irene glares at Sana, shutting her up, before turning back to you. You recognize the look in her eyes; that soft, cajoling pull that makes anyone do her bidding. That look is why you had not left this toxic company yet, but you’re starting to feel the effect of it slowly wear off.

“Y/N. Just hear me out.” Irene sorts through her violet Kate Spade tote bag, before pulling out a business card and handing it to you.

In spite of yourself, you take the card, feeling the thick, rich quality of the paper, and the gold lettering.

“Dr. Hwang…” You read out loud. “‘The Love Doctor?’ What the hell?”

“He’s a relationship therapist and dating expert. He also runs a matchmaking service and coaches his clients.” Irene explains.

“I have eyes. I can read the card, Irene,” you spit out, turning the paper around in your fingers. “And I definitely don’t trust anyone recommended by you. Especially not some corny weirdo called the ‘Love Doctor.’”

“Oh, get over yourself, Y/N. I know a billion trainwrecks that Dr. Hwang has fixed.” Mina shudders in thought. “He’s pretty good, you know?”

“No, actually. I don’t know. I don’t know anything about this stupid Love Doctor.” You grind your teeth, desperately trying not to slap some sense into Mina. “I’m not going to trust a stranger with all of my thoughts… my fears, my hopes.” 

“This is such a waste of time,” Sana whines, getting up from her seat and smoothing out her dress. “I’m going to go talk to Chris. BRB, girls.”

Sana flounces away in the direction of the hot bartender mixing and pouring drinks for patrons. Mina rolls her eyes, picking at her acrylic nails.

“She literally has a boyfriend,” Mina huffs, before getting up and following after her. 

You turn back to Irene. “Is that how you want me to be? Both Sana and Mina are in relationships, except one pretends to not have a boyfriend, and the other is too bitchy to care about hers.”

“You’re not wrong.” Irene lets out a hearty chuckle, tracing the rim of her champagne flute. “But no one outside of our circle really knows about what’s going on with them, behind the scenes. They’re still perfect.”

“Why does it matter so much? Being perfect? Why does it matter so much to you if I am?” You question her, at a loss.

“I care about you.” Irene folds her hands in front of her plate. “You’re my friend.”

Friend.

That word takes you back to a few years ago, when you weren’t able to find a date to the frat party Johnny threw when you were all in college. You failed to follow Irene’s instructions, and as the expected result, Irene didn’t bother saying anything to you. You felt her anger through her silent treatment, as you stood by the door, feeling like a loser. You watched the rest of the Golden Trio giggle with their own dates, and Irene— no matter how big of a crush she used to have on Johnny before they became an item— was staring at you all night, soaking in your shame and unhappiness. You should have realized back then that the Golden Trio was just gilt. At least, you have now.

You snort in wry amusement, grabbing your keys and slapping down a fifty on the table, your general portion of the meal you didn’t even partake in. “I don’t know what I am to you, but I’m definitely not your fucking friend.”

Ignoring Irene’s pleas hitting your retreating back, you leave The Terrace, vowing never to go back.

On the weekends, you usually either work from home or aimlessly surf the internet. Either way, you’ll be staring at your computer until your eyes hurt. Today, however, you’re determined to prove that you can take a day off and enjoy it. It’s why you walk out of the luxury salon after being scrubbed, steamed, waxed, plucked, and primped all over your body. You don’t even want to think of how expensive it all was, completely disregarding the shiny $200 acrylics adorning your nails. 

You spend the rest of the day browsing a vintage bookstore on the Los Angeles marina, devoutly avoiding the romance section like you always did. After splurging on a set of horror novels by the latest trending author, you decide to go home and relax— just because you aren’t outside doesn’t mean you’re moping around, unlike what the Golden Trio believes. 

Who needs some hotshot Love Doctor when you’ve got Stephen King?

Sitting back on your couch with your book, you kick out your legs in front of you and attempt to unwind. But of course, you’re one line into the first page when your thoughts get the better of you. You glance across the open-concept layout of your apartment and over at your handbag, which is haphazardly strewn onto your bed; the business card that Irene gave you seems to be an incessant force in your mind. After a few seconds of trying to fight the urge to not let your curiosity best you, you give up, rolling off the sofa and rummaging through the bag to find the card.

Palming the small piece of paper, you settle onto your bed on your stomach, dimming the lights and logging into your computer. You type in the website address listed on the card into Google, impatiently tapping on the mouse. Finally, the page loads.

Your vision is blessed by a soft palette of pinks and beiges, a sparkling layout, flashy buttons and graphics, all designed to reel in even the most technologically inept grandparents. But that’s not what you’re enticed by: a giant picture of the most beautiful man that you have ever laid eyes on is pasted onto the main cover of the website. Immediately, you read further only to find out that this total babe is the Love Doctor that Irene couldn’t shut the fuck up about.

You zoom in on the bio printed below the image, devouring it like the King novel you should be reading instead right now. “What the…?” 

Dr. Hwang Hyunjin is a lot of things: a relationship therapist, intimacy expert, dating coach, psychology researcher, and etc. But the title that truly encapsulates his essence is: the Love Doctor, the savant who leads his clients through the pains and triumphs of life, loss, and of course, love. 

After graduating from Columbia University summa cum laude and obtaining his doctorate in psychology at Stanford, Dr. Hwang founded SeoulSpark, a practice dedicated to providing guidance and opportunities for any with those special ailments of the heart. The rest of Dr. Hwang’s credentials and outstanding achievements are listed below. In his freetime, Dr. Hwang loves to write poetry, go horseback riding, and take long walks on the beach. 

Appointments must be reserved through the ‘Bookings’ page. Dr. Hwang and his associates may be requested on the basis of availability. 

A few minutes of getting sidetracked in an internet stalking session alerted you to how in addition to overseeing his own private practice and working there as a therapist and coach, Dr. Hwang also operates a clinical trial on the neuropsychological approach of studying the nature of love at the National Institutes of Health. And to top it all off, he comes highly recommended by Selena Gomez in her latest Vogue interview— turns out, he’s the one who helped her move on from Justin Beiber and find a more gratifying partner— and has even met with Michelle Obama over tea on NPR’s Life Kit podcast to discuss the psychology of relationships. He’s a public figure, a celebrity of sorts himself, but has graciously rejected the title in favor of a more private life.

“Wow,” you murmur. “So he’s hot and smart.”

Irene and her sidekicks are wrong about a lot, but one thing they are right about is that you’re just absolutely lonely. Growing up, you were a hopeless romantic who constantly dreamed of a fairytale romance, romanticizing every aspect of your interactions with others. But a lifetime of being unlucky in love taught you that there is no such thing as true love. 

First, there was a series of unfortunately unrequited crushes in high school, all ending in you watching the boy you liked ride off into the sunset with someone else— usually a popular, pretty girl. Then came Holland, the cute boy in your calculus class who seemed like he actually returned your feelings. You both flirted for a while, before Holland ended up secretly coming out to you as gay. And of course, there was Jisung, the dirtbag who told you he loved you and then proceeded to break your heart. Love obviously isn’t on the cards for you.

Therefore, you’re now an insufferable pessimist when it comes to romance. You make fun of every couple you see in public, religiously watch wedding fails on Youtube, and absolutely hate romantic comedies. You stonily ignore the Tinder app that Mina once pressured you into downloading, even though it’s burning a hole into your phone.

You try to fill up that void in your heart by throwing yourself into work or participating in those idiotic “girls nights” that Irene throws, which usually just entail grinding up on drunk trust funders on someone’s yacht. 

But on a night like this, you’re bound to confront the truth: you are alone, and deep inside, you know you don’t want to be, no matter how much you pretend you don’t care. Which is why you let the computer cursor hover over the various appointment time slots, considering registration.

Wait, what? You shoot up from your previous position, sitting straight as every ounce of lethargy exits your body. You cannot actually be thinking of this guy’s services, especially when the recommendation came from Irene. But then again, do you really want your decisions to be determined by her? Do you care enough about spiting her that you’ll prevent your own happiness? What if this Love Doctor actually works?

With a groan, you go back to scrolling through Dr. Hwang’s bio once more, weighing your options, when you notice a link at the bottom of the page. You click on it, and it takes you to a video uploaded on Youtube. The bold, glaring red letters and the dark, dramatic backdrop alert you to a TED talk— and a very cherished one, too, with how thunderous the applause is when welcoming the speaker.

Intrigued, you sit forward, promising yourself that your assessment of Dr. Hwang’s TED talk will determine whether or not you’ll see both his physical and evidently intellectual gorgeousness in real life or not. However, from the very first question that he utters, you know your decision.

“What is love?”

You’re sweaty. You’d like to blame it on the unforgiving Los Angeles heat, but you once read that seeing a therapist is like owning your truth. You want to start being honest even before you meet Dr. Hwang, so you accept that the dampness under your arms is due to the fact that you are just really fucking nervous.

After tossing and turning in your bed all night, you tried your best to look presentable. You showered, blow-dried your hair, and put on minimal makeup reserved for special occasions. But the pretty yellow sundress and sandals that you chose— in the spirit of being symbolically optimistic— feel elementary right now, especially now that you’re setting foot inside the most glamorous office you have ever encountered. 

Upon observing the magnificently dripping crystal chandelier adorning the ceiling, marble flooring that you’re afraid of scuffing, and a jazz rendition of “Clair de lune” playing in the background, you’re convinced that this place is much too luxurious to be a shrink’s company space. Hell, it’s on the ninth floor of one of the ritziest buildings downtown. But, then again, you definitely weren’t expecting the person that Irene recommended to be this otherworldly adonis, instead of some kind of Karen ready to lecture you about having a “healthy love life” or “putting out”— yes, you do watch too much TV and have quite the imagination, so you try to keep your judgements and lofty expectations to a minimum. 

After signing-in with the receptionist— this sweet guy with freckles, sunny blond hair, and an even sunnier disposition— you sit down on the white leather sofa in the lobby. According to the brochure you swiped at the front desk, this place is so big that it has separate wings, like the freaking Hogwarts castle: one for therapy and coaching— or “guidance”— one for matchmaking services, and one for “health,” where clients and employees alike can rewind and socialize. Following a few minutes of rapidly swiping through the home screen and apps on your phone, trying to look occupied and definitely not intimidated by everything, the receptionist calls your name and directs you to Dr. Hwang’s office.

You know you’re incredibly lucky to have scored a session with Dr. Hwang, who’s obviously the most sought-after on the full list of all who work at SeoulSpark. Last night, when you were scouring SeoulSpark’s Yelp reviews (all of them were five-stars), people were raving about Dr. Hwang. Yet, as you walk through the luxe little corridor that leads you to the guidance sector, you can’t help but feel the regret that unfurls in your stomach. Perhaps you were subconsciously following Irene’s orders, that natural instinct to follow and not think still manifesting. Perhaps you were just enticed by Dr. Hwang’s visuals and repertoire. Or maybe, you just wanted to do something with your damn time for once, instead of constantly thinking about how sucky your life is. Either way, this all feels like a mistake, but it’s too late to turn back now, especially since the woman that you assume is Dr. Hwang’s assistant has spotted you.

She gets up from her desk. “Hello there! You must be Y/N.”

“That’s me!” You exclaim, in a way that probably seems too enthusiastic to be genuine. Your eyes trail to the name badge pinned to the lapel of her stylish cream-colored pantsuit. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Jang.”

“Likewise,” she says with a friendly smile that just accentuates her flawless features. 

Is everyone who works here just ridiculously attractive?

“Dr. Hwang is all ready for you.”

You quickly thank her, wiping your sweaty palms on your skirt and praying you don’t look scared. The last thing you want to do is freak out your potential therapist with your horrendous love life, even though his literal job is to deal with basket cases of romance. Taking in a deep breath, you warily place your hands on the grand pair of frosted glass doors adjacent to Ms. Jang’s desk and push them open. 

A cool gust of air welcomes you into Dr. Hwang’s office, and the first thing you notice is the blinding natural light flooding from the floor-to-ceiling windows. The one time you ever visited a therapist was immediately after the whole ordeal with Jisung; the cramped little room filled with wilted potted plants and dim light from a depressing yellow lamp had made you want to never see another therapist again. This place, however, looks more like one of those glitzy workspaces straight out of a Manhattan legal drama. You can practically see the dollar signs stamped onto everything here, from the panache but tasteful L-shaped sofa to the sultry modern art adorning the blush-colored walls. But the impeccable interior design is not what has got you temporarily incapacitated—

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.”

A voice as smooth as his honeyed skin and perpetual charm. A fresh breath of air in the merciless Californian heat that constitutes your entire life. A tidal wave upon the drowsy coastline of your heart. Absolute sin in your undeserving ears. You ponder what language even is, if you’ve never heard anyone articulate their entire aura like this in a mere jumble of words. Dr. Hwang smiles at you warmly— a sight that should remind you of a toasty cup of hot chocolate, but instantly spreads a raging, insatiable wildfire through your nerves. 

You speechlessly stay rooted to the spot like a damn oak tree as Dr. Hwang approaches you, with the controlled movement and dripping allure of a jaguar. As he nears you, you have to blink multiple times to adjust to how truly dazzling he is, and how the pictures of him online cannot even compare to his person. You would not hesitate to believe him if he claimed that he walked here straight off the runway, but his beauty is rapturous, less of an airbrushed model and more reminiscent of a Botticelian masterpiece. 

Maybe Charles Dickens was wrong— you see everything you want in the glittering multitude that makes up Hyunjin’s eyes. Big, soulful, contemplative. A gaze like a midnight reverie. A radiance like black diamonds encased in velvet. They reel you in like you’re silk thread and he’s a needle, like you’re an astronomer and he’s the entire galaxy. You take in the mole under his left eye, and it reminds you of a stray splatter of dark paint on an ivory canvas. It’s enchanting, like a lone star in the night sky.

“You’re good.” You barely manage, now focused on his lips that are just begging to be kissed. A delicate pink, like the lingering stain after eating cherries. Full and inviting, soft with the promises of a good time. On your own lips. On your skin. On your neck. 

Those pretty lips curve into an enigmatic smile, Cheshire-like almost. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

The way he pronounces your name so eloquently sends a spark straight through your body. You never thought much of your name, but with how Hyunjin says it, it might as well be one of those irresistible words that Pinterest logophiles save. It sounds lovely, ethereal, sublime. Just like him.

“And you as well, Dr. Hwang.” You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down, but instead, you get a breath full of his scent; he smells like a rainstorm over a field of jasmine. Tantalizingly petrichor, with a slightly floral and sensual edge. 

“Please, call me Hyunjin.”

“O-okay, Hyunjin.” A bewitching name for an even more bewitching man.

Hyunjin gestures for you to sit down on the sofa and positions himself on the chair behind his desk, a smoke-cracked glass piece arranged in front of a transparent wall that provides breathtaking views of downtown L.A. You can only imagine what the views are like at night— the city lights, of course. Definitely not of Hyunjin pushing you onto his costly desk and doing you in the dark.

“So, Y/N, darling,” Hyunjin begins, spreading his hands out on the desk in front of him. 

Darling?! Ohmyfuckinggod.

You cough. “Sorry?” 

“Tell me anything. Impressions, ruminations. Just be honest.”

That’s new and different. You thought Hyunjin would dole out the usual pleasantries, like “how are you” or “the weather is nice,” not ask you to “be honest.” What kind of person expects blatant candor after knowing them for literal seconds? Well, a therapist, probably. And a very eccentric one, at that. So you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind. 

“Everyone here seems so… happy. It’s weird.” The hot receptionist, Hyunjin’s secretary, and even the janitor wiping the floors in the lobby.

Hyunjin lets out a hearty laugh, his eyes squinting into a crescent moon shape that you find very endearing. “Well, they seem happy because they are. Happiness isn’t rare.”

“Feels like it most of the time,” you mutter, your thoughts flashing over to work, Irene, and all of the times that you eat dinner alone. 

“That’s why you’re here, no?” Hyunjin folds his hands. “Talk to me.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be asking me questions? And I answer them? Isn’t that what most therapists do?”

“I’m not like most therapists. This is how it begins.”

Of course you aren’t. 

As you hesitate, Hyunjin keeps quiet patiently while letting your thoughts unfurl. Maybe it was Jisung, or maybe it was being constantly let down by the people around you, but somewhere along the way, you lost trust in others— you wouldn’t ever let them see who you really are. Ever since, you’ve put up your guard walls, harboring a testy, stormy attitude that scares anyone away before they can ever leave you behind. You put up with the Golden Trio’s nonsense because although they practically used you for their own enjoyment, at least they had never withdrawn for you. You don’t hate yourself, but you don’t feel content with who you are. You never knew if you really would be. 

And you don’t know Hyunjin. To you, he’s the man whose photos you pored over on Google, the one who you held a sparse conversation for a matter of mere minutes. You shouldn’t want to be exposed in front of him, but you know you already are, with the way his piercing gaze seems to see right through you. For the first time, you don’t hate the feeling of being vulnerable. You don’t know if it’s the kindness in his bedroom eyes that haven’t strayed from you, or if it’s the warmth that even someone as regal as him exudes, but you embrace the feeling of security that his presence wraps you in. Like your inhibitions are drowning in the distant crevices of your mind. You don’t know what it is that compels you to tell this beautiful stranger anything, but for once, you don’t question it.

“I’m just so tired of my damn life.”

The words come out of you in a rush, a sob, almost, because it feels so good to finally say it out loud. You’ve kept your dissatisfaction inside of you for the longest time, just pretending that the grumpiness is part of your personality, not your sadness, because you’ve always been afraid of what people would say. But when you peek up at him, Hyunjin’s expression betrays nothing. Placid, and waiting for you to go on. So you do.

“Nothing seems to be working. I try, try, and try to do better at work, but lately, even my dream job feels like a burden. I don’t really have any friends. I’m single. I act like I’m fine, but I’m really not. I don’t want to feel like this, like I’m trapped. I don’t want to give Jisung that much power over me, but unfortunately, he does have it all.” A huge weight has been lifted off of your drooping shoulders, but the bitterness still remains on your tongue.

Hyunjin takes a moment to finish up whatever notes he’s jotting down in his cream-colored journal, before looking up at you. “And Jisung is your ex?”

You freeze. You didn’t even realize that you brought up Jisung, and even worse, you completely overlooked how he probably knows a lot more about you than you think. After registering for an appointment, you were redirected to fill out this short quiz filled with questions about your romantic history, your job, and basic information. Like a slightly intruding business dinner in the form of a questionnaire. You couldn’t finish the form without getting slightly tipsy on wine, because of how gut-wrenching it was reliving everything. You forgot that your coach would have access to your answers, after brushing it all off as a silly formality. And you really thought this would all be genuine.

You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief and skepticism. “You already know, Dr. Hwang. Why bother asking me? You have my questionnaire results. You think I’m hopeless. You’re just being polite.”

“Hyunjin,” he corrects, undeterred by your words. “And I actually don’t. I look at the results after I meet with my clients. I would rather garner my first impression of you on the person you really are, not through an online quiz.”

“Then how did you know that Jisung’s my ex?” 

Hyunjin’s eyes crinkle with tenderness. “It wasn’t very difficult. He hurt you, I can see it.”

You swallow harshly, overwhelmed both by the thought of Jisung and the way Hyunjin’s looking at you right now. Compassion, gentleness, understanding. A complete foil to the constant indifference and borderline aversion Jisung treated you with. Right now, you don’t feel ugly, even with your scars so raw, open. You feel seen. You realize that Hyunjin has a way of getting you to open up by saying very little.

“He was my first boyfriend. First love, first kiss, first… well, you know.” You pause, blushing at the words that have escaped your mouth, but continue in spite of your shame. To hell with it. “He made me feel wanted, for once. I mean, I’ve literally been a fake date for my gay ex-situationship, and the first time I tried to get into a real relationship, which was with my former neighbor, he ghosted me after two dates. And then he moved away. Jisung… he gave me everything I thought I needed.”

You look up at Hyunjin, unsure. The tears are already shining in your eyes, threatening to spill out. Hyunjin nods encouragingly, pushing you on. 

“We were together for almost a year. And the entire time, he gaslighted me into doubting myself. He always kept cheating on me, I knew that. But I finally caught him screwing his assistant in my bed, right before we broke up.” You close your eyes. “No, before he broke up with me. God, my friends were right. I am so pathetic.”

Hyunjin sets his pen down firmly on the glass table, making you open your eyes. His starry gaze is intense, like that all-too-familiar inferno settled inside of you. “Darling, those are no friends of yours. There’s nothing pathetic about believing in someone, for putting your faith in them. Don’t ever say that again.”

“Right. Because I didn’t tell him over and over again that I forgave him. I didn’t beg him to stay, when he said he was tired of me. When he wanted new things.” You let out a dry laugh. “When it was over, everyone acted like I fumbled. Hell, he works at SM Technologies. Rich, handsome, well-connected.”

“Fuck that hack. That’s not why you loved him, though,” Hyunjin insists, his explicit language surprising you. Even in this way, he seems more poised than you ever could be. “You loved him because he made you feel loved. He accepted you. You lowered your standards for him, and he used you.”

You turn your head away from Hyunjin, not wanting him to watch you cry. But you know he’s already seen the tears streaming freely down your cheeks. “So, are you supposed to help me move on from here? Find someone new? SeoulSpark has matchmaking services, right? I mean, it’s been two years, and I’m still not over it. Sorry I’m a fucking antiromantic.”

It’s Hyunjin’s turn to shake his head. “Darling, you’re misunderstanding me. I don’t help my clients find relationships. I don’t care if you walk out still single or if you’re polyamorous. I care that you’re happy, satisfied with who you are, romantically. I’m here to guide you through that. Let me help you.”

The tears that had dripped so effusively onto your skin dry as Hyunjin holds your gaze, studying your features and saying nothing. And then your stomach chooses that inopportune moment to grumble, and very loudly indeed. In that astoundingly mortifying moment, you swear to never, ever skip breakfast again.

Hyunjin clears his throat, rising from his seat. “Where are my manners? Would you like something to drink? Or eat, maybe?”

“Um, a mango?” You don’t know why, or how, but your brain just zeroes in on mangoes. You don’t even like the damn fruit. Who the fuck would specifically ask for mangoes, instead of something reasonable, like coffee, or tea? You glare up at the ceiling, cursing your emotional dry spell for making you act so embarrassingly. 

But Hyunjin just smiles. “Mangoes. A criminally overlooked aphrodisiac. People call it the love fruit, you know.”

You gulp. Now you’re imagining Dr. Hwang— er, Hyunjin— chopping up a bunch of whole mangoes like he’s in Fruit Ninja, before erotically eating each slice, licking at the flesh, juice slowly dripping down that chin sculpted by the gods. Two seconds ago, you were crying about your evil ex and now you’re dreaming about Hyunjin starring as some sort of a seductive sensei.

What the fuck?!

“Oh. Yeah, I didn’t know that.”

Hyunjin is unfazed by your awkwardness, simply walking over to the pink-pastel minifridge in the corner of his office and bringing out a paper bowl of unfortunately pre-cut mangoes that you accept gingerly. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you.” You cautiously place a cube of mango in your mouth.

Your eyes suddenly widen at the sweet yet tangy explosion of flavor on your tongue. Creamy yet juicy, refreshing yet indulging, just succulent on your lips. Hyunjin giggles at your amazed reaction to the fruit. “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” You chew on the tart skin of the mango and swallow. “Do you know where your secretary might have bought this?”

“Wonyoung didn’t buy it, I did.” Hyunjin grins, sipping on his own glass of water. “5-Star Grocery. I went just today, actually.”

You finish off the rest of the fruit in no time, swiping the mango residue on your fork clean with your lips. When you’re done, you look up from the bowl to see Hyunjin gazing intently at you. You were probably taking forever to eat, and he was waiting for you. “Oh, sorry about that. This was really good.”

Hyunjin shakes his head vigorously. “No, no, it’s not that.”

You curiously tilt your head at him, wondering what’s got him so worked up. “Did I say something, Dr. Hwa- I mean, Hyunjin?”

“No, you didn’t.” Hyunjin stands up and takes your bowl, throwing it away in the disposal for you. “Let’s get back to our conversation.”

You nod, your thoughts fluttering back to Jisung, the ache replacing the lust that reigned inside of you, moments earlier. “I have tried to see other people, but it’s been hard.”

“How so?” Hyunjin clicks on his pen, putting it in a position ready to write.

You toy with the hem of your dress, your face heating up. “I tried using Tinder. I even matched with this one guy, San. We got dinner. But later that night, when… when we were about to um, have sex, I just couldn’t. San was really nice and understanding about everything, but I felt so bad. I’ve only slept with one person before, Jisung, and I don’t know. It’s so humiliating.”

Hyunjin frowns. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. First, it’s normal to be wary of intimacy after a long-term relationship. And second, we all have varying levels of sexual comfort. You’ll find your own pace. Our sexuality is essential to our health, and there’s nothing humiliating about it.”

“It’s not like I’m not experienced, though,” you say quickly.

Hyunjin looks up from his notepad and raises an eyebrow at you. You sputter over your impulsive words and try to explain. “It’s just that I have trouble being vulnerable with others, both physically and emotionally. There was only Jisung. And he wasn’t that good at it, to be honest. But I thought it shouldn’t stop me from finding out by myself what I like. That’s all.”

For a second, you think Hyunjin will make fun of you, but he just solemnly nods. “Absolutely. I always tell my clients this. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating. It’s incredibly healthy, whether or not you’re in a relationship.”

You exhale shakily, your cheeks aflame. You know it’s his literal job, but you can’t help but feel both admiration and jealousy at how straightforward Hyunjin is while talking about sex. His whole aura seeps with confidence, like it comes easily to him. Your self-consciousness could never. “Right.”

He sighs in thought, scribbling into your notepad as you restlessly wait for him to say something, fidgeting in your seat. Hyunjin then sets his notepad aside, logging into his sleek Apple iMac computer and rapidly typing into it. “I have something for you to do, darling.”

You immediately tense at the thought of more work, especially if Hyunjin is going to be your grader. “Like, homework?”

Hyunjin laughs. “No. Think of it as a fun little task. Remember, nothing I ask you to do is obligatory. You choose to be here.”

“Alright, let’s hear it.” You square your shoulders like a soldier. Whatever your assignment is, you’re going to knock it out of the park and impress Hyunjin. Definitely because you look up to him as a person, not because you want him to rail you into the next century.

Hyunjin leans forward, like he’s about to indulge you with a delicious secret, and you find yourself doing the same. “I want you to write down on paper one thing you love about yourself every day of the week, starting today. Bring the sheet to me when we meet again next week.”

You sit back, your heart sinking while your mind wakes in panic. And of all things, the assignment has to be this. You could fib your way through it, of course, jotting down the stupid, trivial aspects of yourself that aren’t so bad. But considering it all, asking yourself that question would really make you face the ugly truth: do you even love yourself?

“Wait, what do you mean? Like, what does it have to be? Physical? Emotional? Professional? Personal? I don’t think—”

Hyunjin smoothly cuts you off. “Like I said, this is your choice to complete. And it can be anything you cherish about yourself. Anything. This is your opportunity to show-off.”

You shake your head, frustrated. “But why, though? I don’t get the point of this.”

“I need to be able to get an idea of what specific path will best fit you, whether it’s solo therapy to help your mindset and esteem, matchmaking to get you connected with individuals who complement you, or coaching to provide you with guidance in potential relationships. So for now, I want to get to know you. ”

“If you wanted to get to know me, you’d ask questions like, ‘what do you do,’ or ‘what’s your favorite color,’ Hyunjin,” you say, irked. “This is just going to be another thing I fail at.”

“Darling,” Hyunjin says, firmly but gently. “Your profession and favorite color, while intriguing, isn’t knowledge I need to work with you. The most important service of all is helping my clients’ self-perception and confidence in romance, and I need to know what level you are on. Take it slow, it’s okay. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

The familiar warmth spreads throughout your body. Compassion, gentleness, understanding. You harbor so much insecurity that it affects so much of your daily life. You don’t go out. You work yourself down and out. You wallow in your misery. You’re a pessimist who doesn’t believe in true love. And you receive endless judgment for it, because really, who wouldn’t be disgusted by someone like you? But being with Hyunjin feels different, because he is accepting you for who you are and promising you the guidance you’ve always needed. 

“We can assess what aforementioned action to take next week, when I’ve had time to assess you,” Hyunjin declares as you agree, ripping out a piece of paper from his notebook and writing down the task on it for you to take home.

And then you’re pulled back into reality. You’re well-educated and smart. You have a good job that pays well. You like to read Scientific American in your freetime, because sometimes, you would rather face the facts than meld into opinions. And you know exactly what’s happening right now. It’s barely been your first session with Hyunjin, and you’re already getting attached to him, because he’s giving you the kind of care and attention that you’ve been craving. It’s a phenomenon called transference, you know that. The butterfly garden flitting in your stomach is a mere sensory illusion, you know that. But you also know that you are feeling something. 

As Hyunjin hands you the slip of paper, his hands brush yours lightly, and you can’t help but exhale sharply at where his skin has made contact with yours. Maybe you’re touch-starved, but you can’t help but feel like a longing character in a Victorian romance novel. You look down at his hands as he retracts them. Large, smooth palms, and long fingers decked in silver rings. 

“But that will be all for now, darling.” 

God, he’s sexy.

“Really? Is that all?” You glance at the rose gold clock hanging on the wall behind you. It’s barely been thirty minutes. “We’re done so soon?”

Hyunjin grins at you, flashing those crescent moons once again. “I didn’t know you were that eager to stay here.”

You clear your throat, furiously blushing. “I mean, I thought the session would last longer. So I’ll come back next week then.”

“This was a diagnostic, darling. And yes, I’ll see you next week. You should make an appointment with Wonyoung before you leave.” 

Hyunjin beams at you pleasantly while you reluctantly grab your purse, and you briefly wonder if he looks just as lovely when his partner pleasures him— if he has a partner. But then again, there is no way someone as good-looking and sweet as him is single. The thought of Hyunjin fucking someone simultaneously sparks envy and turns you on, and you quickly shake it away.

“Thank you so much, Hyunjin. And um, I’m sorry if I came off as kind of coarse, it’s… I’m working on it.” You tilt your head towards him, hoping he gets what you’re trying to convey. You’re not amazing with words, or controlling your emotions very well, and any product of that today was not meant to hurt him.

“You did nothing wrong. I’m glad you decided to come here, Y/N.” Hyunjin walks you across his expansive office.

“And I love your nails, by the way.” Hyunjin states, his gaze pointed down at your hands. “Pink’s my favorite color.”

You flush a pink that’s deeper than the object of his compliments. Pink, huh? You wonder about what other pink things that Hyunjn may like. Pink roses? Raspberries? Flamingoes? You’d bring them all to him if he asked.

Hyunjin graciously opens the door leading to the corridor for you, and you shoot him a small smile, as he returns it. His hand skims the small of your back as he leads you out, and you pray that you don’t look like a lustful maniac. Unaware of your internal frenzy, Hyunjin waves goodbye to you as he lets in his next client waiting outside and shuts the door behind him.

Wonyoung asks you a plethora of questions about your availability next week, your mind stays on Hyunjin while you schedule your next appointment. You don’t waver even when you exit the SeoulSpark and unlock your car in the visitor parking lot, collapsing into the seat in a daze. Even when you find yourself plugging in directions on Google Maps to find the quickest route to 5-Star Grocery, your thoughts don’t stay from Hyunjin. Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

You take your time strolling through the multicolored aisles of 5-Star, blankly gazing at all of the overpriced foodstuffs while daydreaming about the way that Hyunjin’s hand had accidentally brushed against you, even if it was inadvertent. You want his fingers on your body. In your body. In your mouth. Anywhere, and everywhere. 

You brighten up as you near the produce section and spy the hefty crate of what you came for: very expensive imported Indian mangoes. But without a second thought, you place a generous pile of the fresh fruit into a plastic cover and put it into your cart. And you swear you can catch the lingering scent of Hyunjin from when he was here earlier today. Rainstorms. Jasmine. Danger. You practically combust at the thought of Hyunjin scouring the baskets of mangoes for the very best picks with those crescent moon eyes, wishing it was you instead that he could have been gazing so purposefully at. On the way out, like some kind of a divine coincidence, you notice that a local florist has set up their stand at the entrance of the grocery. As you approach, the overflowing clay pots of jasmine crowd your sensations.

The drive back home feels like it lasts hours, when in reality, the store is only a few minutes away from your place. As soon as you’re inside your apartment, you throw open all of the window shutters, dismissing the ominous weather forecast on the radio. A much bigger tempest brews somewhere else. The late evening breeze through your windows is like a pirate sailing into your mind, hoarding your sanity and coaxing in all of your disgraceful thoughts. And you welcome the ship like a safe harbor because it’s been far too long since you’ve ever felt this outrageously alive.

The tiny light in your kitchen provides some leeway for you to work, as you stow away your groceries in the fridge and bring out the glass cutting board that your menace of coworker gave you as a gag gift; you would burn the whole house down before cooking anything, and he knows that. Yet, you kind of feel like goddamn Gordon Ramsay as you cut through the mango dexterously to produce those perfect cubes that Hyunjin presented you with.

With a sigh, you collapse into one of the mismatched chairs at your dining table. You once slaved away into late nights at this table, blue light glasses perched on your nose while you were engrossed in lines of code. Nowadays, you sleep late for less productive reasons or just because you are in a destructive mood and planning your future world takeover. But you have a feeling that might change soon.

Slowly, you put a piece of the sweet mango in your mouth, savoring the saccharinity and longing for it to pervade all aspects of your life beyond your palate. You find that it tastes a little less delectable because Hyunjin isn’t here with you, but you finish the entire bowl of fruit nevertheless. Still not satisfied, however, you bring out a second mango, still searching for that spark you had felt earlier.

This time, you don’t even bother cutting the fruit, instead breaking the skin of the mango with your teeth and allowing the juice to leak onto your tongue. A little better, but you wish you were biting down on Hyunjin’s plush lips instead. You feel like you’ve been hexed by the Love Doctor, because there’s no chance that a romantic Scrooge like you is fantasizing about the emotional and physical reincarnation of Aphrodite. 

Yet, he must have shot you with his quiver of arrows, rendering you clinically insane, because as you reach for your third mango, you feel your free hand trailing down to the place between your thighs that’s begging for your touch. You spread your legs so that your knees are facing out on either side of you, and your dress has now ridden up to your hips, exposing your now wet cotton panties for no one to see. 

But you imagine that he’s watching, stroking himself and getting off along with you. Not even bothering to slide them off, you push your panties to the side and finally press your fingers against your aching cunt. Chewing on the delicate skin of mango, you slide your fingers through your drenched folds, thankful to finally get a chance to relieve yourself. As you concentrate on the fruit’s taste, you wonder what Hyunjin would think of your own, sucking on his own fingers after fucking you with his pretty hands. He’d push you down to get a complete taste, attaching his mouth to your pussy to get both an idea and a release.

Moaning out loud, you circle your clit, enjoying the flickers of pleasure coursing through you. Not minding the juice now dripping down your chin and onto your collarbone, you pull down the front of your dress, freeing your breasts. You gently pinch your nipple with your left hand and let out a small gasp, craving for Hyunjin to be the one inducing such sinful pain into you.

“Just like that, darling.”

“Oh God, Hyunjin!” You call out his name and squeeze your breast, now fucking yourself on your fingers while simultaneously grinding the heel of your palm against your clit for that delicious extra friction. 

“So good for me.”

Waves of ecstasy wash over you as you ride out your high, sloppily thrusting and circling your hips on your soaked hand. You come to the final thought of Hyunjin pushing a slice of mango down the valley between your breasts, tracing and cleaning the sticky juice with his tongue. And there’s the spark, igniting a whole flame of fulfillment deep inside of you.

Letting out a shaky sigh, you fix your dress and get up from your chair, taking out a paper towel to wipe the mess of your arousal and fruit juice on the seat. Your cheeks burn with the after effects of your release, and yet, you don’t feel any shame. Instead, there’s a strange sense of liberation that you are starting to come to terms with.

Clipping up your hair, you make your way over to the desk in your bedroom and take out a fresh sheet of paper. Armed with a glass of freshly puréed mango juice and accompanied by the tantalizing scent of your jasmine plant, you pull out a pink gel pen and let the words pour out.

“So, Y/N. Were you able to do what I asked?” Hyunjin cocks his head expectantly.

You reach into your handbag and pull out the paper, passing it to Hyunjin with trembling hands. “I did it.”

You came to SeoulSpark straight from work, deliberately skipping your usual jeans and blazer combination for a skinny pencil skirt paired with a powder-pink button down that matches the walls of Hyunjin’s office. Slightly transparent silk stockings disappear under the skirt, which skims the top of your knees. 

When you were pulling on your barely-worn cream slingback pumps in the morning, you had wondered what this entire outfit was for. You had stood up and gazed critically into the mirror, and all you could feel was empowerment. Because for the first time, it felt like something you were truly doing for yourself. You weren’t proving a point. And you knew you weren’t dressing for Hyunjin either, but rather, because of him. He made you question if you were treating yourself right, and you wanted to answer it well. The pink blouse was a playful touch that you couldn’t help.

Hyunjin takes his time reading through the paper, and this time, you’re the one observing his every reaction, from the quirk of his brow to the way he occasionally licks his lips to wet them. The latter action sparks a memory of one week ago, when you indulged yourself in absurdly fantasizing about those very lips all over you. You press your legs together, ignoring the dull throb in between, and try not to think of it, focusing on the unsexiest things your mind can come up with. Climate change. Warts. Donald Trump.

“This is a good list to start with.” Hyunjin looks up at you, eyes twinkling. “All true, right?”

You nod, feeling a shy smile erupt on your face. “Yeah, I was kind of surprised with how doable-ish it was.”

“May I ask how? If I recall, you were quite opposed to this task last week.” Today, Hyunjin sits on the sofa with you instead of at his desk— too close, yet so far. 

You finger the one of the buttons on your blouse, mind already on the truth. But of course, you would never tell Hyunjin how masturbating to the thought of him made you feel aligned with your own body and sexuality, and maybe a little more willing to dare to think of what you like about yourself. Now that would be inappropriate.

“I just did some thinking,” you finally say after much deliberation. 

Hyunjin crosses one of his long legs over the other. “Interesting.”

“I guess.”

“If I ask you a question, will you answer it honestly?” Hyunjin lightly taps on his notepad with his pen, waiting for you to speak.

You give him a suspicious look. “Depends on the question.”

“Are you happy with yourself?”

His question confounds you, and yet, in a way, you also know why he asks it. A basic list of things that you like about yourself isn’t enough to turn over that table of insecurity and stagnant mindset that has hurt you for too long. It makes you understand that everything wrong in your life is because of an intrinsic cause, that ugly voice inside of you. Not because of something else… or someone. 

“I don’t think I am.” You bite your lip. “But I want to be.”

“Can you tell me why?”

You groan. “It stems from how I feel so undesirable right now. Like, I don’t want to be lonely, but I am. I mean, I’m kind of a shooting star for everyone. A fleeting moment of love, of comfort. I really wish I could be the fucking sun.”

Hyunjin leans forward swiftly, grasping your hands and startling you with their warmth. “You’re not a shooting star. And you’re not just the sun either. You are the whole solar system, honey. Please don’t ever think otherwise.”

Damn. The solar system? 

You hate when Irene calls you “honey,” but on Hyunjin’s tongue, it sounds loving, sweet, not like a patronizing ridicule. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, trying to ignore the way your heart is hammering in your chest. “But you’ve known me for, like, two seconds.”

If you don’t know any better, you would say that Hyunjin almost looks taken aback. But his features smooth over quickly. “Darling, I’m a professional. You’re smart. You’re beautiful. You have a good heart. There is no reason why you can’t have everything you want.”

You try to focus on his words and take them in, but Hyunjin— simply the sexiest thing you have ever set eyes on— has deemed you beautiful. It’s both flattering and heart-fluttering, to say the very least. “Well, why don’t I? Why don’t I have everything I want, then?”

Hyunjin narrows his eyes. “You just haven’t met the right person for you.”

You inhale at the husky tone of his voice. “And you’re going to help me with that, Hyunjin?”

“Yes. You don’t need therapy, definitely. The first step I take with my clients is acceptance. That comes with therapy, but you were able to identify the problem and acknowledge it. I say we address it now.”

“What do you recommend we do, then?”

Hyunjin clears his throat and flips to a new page in his notepad. “I’ll be your dating coach.”

You quirk your eyebrow at him. “What does that entail?”

“We need to fortify your self-esteem, first of all. So, confidence coaching. You’ll be getting weekly sessions with me in which I provide you with tips and guidance, almost like interactive lectures. In due time… you can be set up in our matchmaking office, if you’d like.” Hyunjin scribbles into his trusty notepad. “You made a good start with the list. Let’s get better.”

And you do. The next few weeks are like a bandaid on your wounded heart and mentality. Hyunjin helps you through building up your confidence, never once pushing you to run, only walking by your side. You expect him to give you information on pickup lines, how to dress, appropriate forms of touch, the science of love, and anything else that may improve your dating prospects, but much of his coaching is simply focused on you. You get one-on-one seminars from Hyunjin on the art of conversation, in which he guides you through being yourself, instead of being who you think you need to be. Hyunjin structures elaborate role-playing scenarios and critical thinking exercises in which you are coaxed out of your shell. And most significant of all, he teaches you that the most important relationship you can have is the relationship with yourself. 

You have always known that Hyunjin isn’t just any regular relationship therapist— or dating coach, or intimacy expert, or whatever other fancy moniker he adopts— but throughout your meetings, you come to feel like the boundaries have become blurred. Since the first time you saw him, he was able to read you like one of the glossy magazines stocked in the main lobby. But you slowly notice the fine details about him as well, from the neverending stack of classic poetry books on the white oak wall mount to how he bites his nails when he’s deep in thought.

The fascination you harbor morphs into a full-blown schoolgirl infatuation, resulting in you stalking his Instagram page and being totally invested in all of his old interviews, scouring for information on his dating status (no, you couldn’t find out if he is single or not). You’re completely enamored with Hyunjin and how free you feel around him. But one thing that doesn’t change is your burning desire for your unattainable guide, and the way you have to relieve yourself with your vibrator as soon as you rush home after your appointments.

You are sure that every single time you see Hyunjin, you’re being embarrassingly obvious, but he maintains his professionality, betraying nothing about himself except for a disarming smile. So you stay quiet, keeping your Hyunjin-affliction to yourself. But even in the face of your inappropriate struggle, for the first time, happiness doesn’t seem so foreign to you.

In spite of the honeymoon phase of your crush, in which you have blissfully daydreamed about Hyunjin, you still have your job to get to— gone is the racy maroon lingerie set you bought to spice up your solo sessions. However, your boring work suits and blazer-and-jeans combinations have been pushed to the back of your closet, in favor of you walking into the office wearing tight sheath dresses and skirts that show off your curves. You always believed that getting dolled up was strictly for special occasions or your man— when you thought you had one— but lately, you’ve been loving dressing up for yourself and enjoying the feeling of being sexy and liberated.

“Y/N! Get your ass over here!”

Your carefully curated mind bubble is rudely burst open when your boss yells for you from his office, not minding if the peace of the rest of the workers is preserved or not. You tie your hair up and dust off your skirt, making your way over to your boss’s office for what feels like the millionth berating you know you will receive.

“Yes?”

Mark Lee— your boss, who in your opinion, makes Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada look like a saint— turns around in his cushy Arhaus swivel chair, raising his eyebrows at your harried stats. Most people know him as the eccentric but lovable CEO of NCT Corporation, one of the world’s most prolific venture capital firms. However, you know him to be a truly two-faced monster that takes a sadistic pleasure in seeing the people beneath him crushed.

 “Is something wrong? Because there shouldn’t be.”

You force a smile. “You called me here, Mark.”

He lets out a mirthless guffaw, slapping his thigh. “Right.”

You roll your eyes as he shuffles through the papers on his desk and produces a small Manila envelope for you. Mark holds it out to you, and you take the packet.

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

Curious, you tear open the envelope and pull out a thick piece of stationary paper, an invitation to a networking event for tech entrepreneurs. Your pulse immediately begins to pick up, and you even dare to begin to dream of attending this golden opportunity. “Is this for me?”

“Kind of.” Mark clasps his hands together. “You’re planning this party!”

Your hesitant smile melts away. “What? I’m not your assistant, Mark. You already have one.”

“I know…” Mark trails off, popping a gummy bear into his mouth as he starts to spin around in his chair. “But no one is more passionate than you here, so you should do it.”

“But I’m busy with my actual job. I should be going to this party, not planning it! You know that.” You feel the frustration rise up in your chest like a tsunami, and you struggle to keep it at bay. “Come on, Mark. What the hell?”

Mark narrows his eyes at you, chewing on his fifth gummy. “No profanity, please.”

You nearly ball up the invitation and throw it onto Mark’s face. “You literally just screamed at me to get my ass in here.”

“I know, I’m hilarious.” Mark snickers, crumpling up his gummy bear packet and attempting to shoot it into the wastebasket on the other side of the room. When he misses, his expression sours and he glares at you. “You should really check out the instructions I sent you and get to work. Even some SM Tech officers will be in attendance. For example, the director of the Dream division.”

Your heart drops. “What?”

Mark smirks malevolently, leaning closer towards you. “You know him, right? Jake, was his name? Or was it Jisung?”

You grind down on your teeth, fuming. Mark is just trying to rile you up, and it’s really working. He knows perfectly well that Jisung is your ex-boyfriend, as both Jisung and him are golf buddies at their exclusive course in Pasadena. However, he loves to play dumb to get a reaction out of you, and you refuse to give him the satisfaction.

You swallow back all of the disgusting insults you wish you could hurl at him, if you were braver and not hanging on to your job by a thread. “Don’t recall. I’ll take care of the party.”

You turn on your heel and march out of Mark’s office, purposefully slamming the door hard on the way out. You hear Mark’s cackling behind you, but you don’t dare to look back, because you don’t know what you’ll do. You slide into your cubicle once more, and have to resist the urge to turn over your whole desk like Wreck-It Ralph.

Years ago, in your final year of college, you founded ITEM Technologies with one of your classmates for your senior project. You hadn’t expected your professor to be so impressed that she submitted your portfolio to California’s biggest entrepreneurship competition, and you definitely didn’t expect for it to win first place, which meant you got access to a whole network of potential investors for your start-up. You had already accepted a job offer to be a software developer at NCT, but the thought of becoming your own boss through ITEM pulled at you like anything. Securing funding for ITEM through SM Technologies would be the final key in the system of locks keeping you from your dream, and the exclusive invitation to CODA— Silicon Valley’s biggest annual networking lunch for start-ups— was the ticket.

However, the day before the event, Jisung had broken up with you, and you had forgotten all about CODA, instead sleeping in after a whole night of crying. Later, after you woke up and realized what you had done, you found out that SM’s latest investment would be in Dream, a growing media company headed by none other than your new ex, Jisung. In twenty-four hours, he had both killed your dreams and your heart. And in due time, without proper funding, ITEM Tech would eventually fail, like many other promising but ill-fated start-ups.

And now? Jisung is living it up in your dream job while you’re groveling in the footsteps of your nightmarish excuse of a boss. Just touching a keyboard once filled you with so much joy, but now, you would rather smash it into bits before pressing a single key. Now you have to map out some stupid party for other start-ups. You’re a developer, not an event planner. You glare up at the ceiling, as if asking a higher power for an explanation for your crappy life. A moment later, your computer pings with a new email.

Like he’s a telepathic deity, Hyunjin has sent you a GIF of a baby llama waddling around a small pen, with text below that reads, “keep calm and llama on.” In spite of yourself, you laugh to yourself, and without thinking, you type in a response thanking him and ending in a winking emoji. Right after you send it, you fill up with regret. Was that inappropriate? The emoji? Too much? With an exasperated sigh, you stand up from your desk, shutting down your computer and heading over to the elevator, punching in buttons for the next floor. However, as soon as you open the door to the office of the one person who could probably talk some sense into you right now, you regret it. Afterall, he’s your part-time friend and full-time menace of a coworker.

“Fuck… don’t tease me like that when I’m not there,” Minho groans, before sighing wistfully into his phone. “I’ll be home soon.”

You silently gag, mentally slapping the shit out of yourself for walking in on a phone sex session, of all things. Minho hadn’t answered when you knocked on his door, so you had just assumed that he needed to be woken up from one of his notorious naps.

“I love you too. I’ll see you in a little bit.” Minho ends the call and turns around in his seat, happily humming to himself with a lovestruck expression on his face. He nearly falls out of his chair when he sees you hovering over him with a smirk on your face. “Jesus!”

“Seriously? Here? Now?”

“Shut the fuck up. I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Suuure.”

Minho rolls his eyes at your silly expression, unamused and crossing his arms. “Can I help you, Y/N?”

You rub one of your nails, thinking of how Hyunjin once complimented them. “You’re like my only friend.”

“I know.” He watches you collapse into one of the chairs in front of him. “But what happened to those Golden Bitches?”

“Golden Trio,” you correct, although Minho doesn’t miss the hint of a grin on your face at his intentional mistake. “And I’m done with them. Finally.”

You put your head down on Minho’s desk as he reaches into one of his desk drawers, pulling out a pack of Twizzlers and tossing them to you. “Talk.”

“It’s, um, kind of bad, though.” 

“I’m listening.”

Everything comes spilling out of your mouth: brunch at The Terrace, your new unpaid party-planning gig, and of course… Hyunjin. Your explanation is much more censored than the real thing, of course, because there’s no way you’re going to talk about your whole mango expedition with a married man. That is a whole new level of breaking boundaries, and you’ve crossed enough to know.

“Well… that’s basically it.” You swallow nervously, and suddenly, your throat feels very dry. “Chenle sucks, and I’m thirsting after my therapist slash dating coach.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Minho says gently, a color that you weren’t even sure existed for him in public. His teasing persona always overtakes the tender one exclusively reserved for his other half. “The whole Hyunjin thing is probably just temporary. You’re still adjusting to considering romance as a possibility again.”

“Okay.”

“The right person will come along. It’s long, and it’s hard, but that journey will be worth it.”

“Says you. You and your wife are literally perfect. I mean, college sweethearts? If your life was a music soundtrack, it would be one of those cheesy love playlists that annoying couples make together.”

Minho just chuckles. “We had our ups and downs. But yeah, we kind of are perfect. She is perfect.”

He softly smiles to himself, gazing at the beautiful portrait of his wife that’s framed on his desk. He’s in his own world now, and you pat his shoulder. “Thanks for the help, Minho. You should go home.”

As you exit the NCT headquarters, you can’t help but feel your heart squeeze even tighter in your chest. Witnessing such a wholesome moment should have given you hope, a glimpse of a future you could have. Instead, it reminded you of what you can’t have right now— who you can’t have. 

You appreciate Minho’s efforts to make you feel better, but he just doesn’t know the full truth. Because your chat with him pushed up something very unpleasant that you’ve been avoiding for a while now. Your pink-loving, classic novel-reading, luxury-shopaholic dating coach is more than just the object of your explicit fantasies, all unbeknownst to him. You’ve started to love the person you become when you’re around him. You love how much more confident and happier you’ve become because of him. Hell, you have genuine feelings for him.

You are so fucked.

Spanning his entire career as a relationship therapist (and all of the other job titles; for God’s sake, he’s the Love Doctor), Hyunjin can’t really come up with any thorns in the rosebush. Sure, there have been a few snags, like that time his clients literally brought divorce papers to one of their meetings (he managed to convince them to take a romantic vacation to Bora Bora and bond more as a couple; it worked). Or when another client confessed to committing adultery with the family’s nanny halfway through a session (after persuading the wife not to murder her husband in the middle of his office, Hyunjin set them up with recovery counseling; that also worked). Life was predictable, but enjoyable. Just the way he likes it. 

Every single day used to begin the exact same way. He woke up at exactly five-thirty, before doing his favorite low-impact yoga routine in his home gym. Hyunjin liked being up early enough to watch the sun rise from the balcony of his West Hollywood penthouse, while drinking a cup of loose leaf Darjeeling tea, of course. His post Sun Salutation breakfast consisted of two slices of whole wheat bread topped with two organic scrambled eggs and extra virgin olive oil. He’d shower and spend a while wandering his walk-in closet, deciding what killer outfit to wear for work, his third favorite place after South Korea and the Taj Mahal. And then he drove to SeoulSpark in Cami, his beloved baby pink Cadillac that he splurged on after getting on Forbes 30 Under 30. 

Every single day used to end the exact same way. He’d leave work by six, after finishing up the last of his meetings. He’d browse on his MacBook for a nice recipe before cooking his dinner while jamming to Mariah on his Spotify Premium, and change the station to classical while eating. He took another shower, but taking more time to do his special avocado hair mask and full skin-care routine. Then Hyunjin liked to cozy up in his Versace bathrobe while catching up with the latest episode of Love Island and cuddling with his paw-dorable shih tzu, Princess Diana. Oh, and, he couldn’t unwind without kicking his feet back and downing a glass of pink champagne. And then he went to bed by eleven.

That was all before you, of course.

The day he met you, he was reminded of the sun. Yes, the way you roughly turned your chin to the side or rained down on him with your sharp words was more evocative of a thunderstorm. But then there was that dress, a pale yellow fluttering above your knees, and how your wide eyes had so expressively taken in your surroundings when you stepped into his office. The slightly awkward way you greeted him, when you harshly avoided his gaze when you were embarrassed. And the way you looked at him, your pretty lips pulled into a stubborn pout, but really, he could see the soft curiosity in your gaze. You were so mad at the world around you, all he wanted to do was take you onto his magic carpet and show you a new one.

He also really, really wanted to just rip that dress off your body and fuck you senseless. And when you started to eat that mango? He had to scramble to think of a list of unsexy things to avoid a boner right then and there. Chipped nails. Gonorrhea. Andrew Tate.

The following weeks weren’t any better, either. He felt like an inexperienced, horny teenager once again, lusting after the tiniest flash of skin. In your last meeting, Hyunjin had fixated on the tiny rip on your stocking that barely exposed the soft skin of your thigh. You hadn’t even noticed, but God, he was trying not to go crazy in his seat. 

Usually, other people are the ones who are seduced by Hyunjin’s charming nature, but ever since you, the once calm, elegant, and poised Hyunjin has been prone to being seduced by irrelevant wardrobe malfunctions. And the absolutely inappropriate thoughts of you that have now flooded his brain are constantly floating around, disturbing him. Yesterday, he slept-in, so he had to skip his morning yoga and was nearly late to work. Later, he fell asleep while fisting himself under the covers, forgetting to turn on his mood lighting and 528 Hz nighttime music. And today was an even bigger disaster, because he’d zoned out during his marketing meeting, thinking of bending you over his desk instead of advertising SeoulSpark. Ever since you, none of his days have been the same. Tonight is no exception.

Hyunjin turns the steel knob, cranking up the heat for no reason at all. Maybe he needs to feel the burn of the scalding water on his skin, shocking him back into reality, or perhaps, he needs to hide from his sanity in the steam, too ashamed to look out and into the bathroom mirror. 

The water pours down Hyunjin’s back as he steps under the steady stream, dousing himself and trying to forget about you. But it’s to no avail, because he feels his hand already moving down, roving over his Pilates-strengthened abs and slipping down to the one place that’s pleading for his attention. 

Hyunjin tilts his head back in the bliss of succumbing to temptation, slightly leaning his cheek against his shoulder as he strokes his hardened length slowly. He sucks in a sharp breath as he squeezes himself, deftly curving his wrist for a more impactful angle. Hyunjin is no stranger to a good lover, but right now he’s resorting to touching himself with the familiarity that only he is entitled to. Although, he would love to teach you about more than just confidence, giving you lessons on how to pleasure him, watching you work like the sexy aficionado that he believes you to be.

In his mind, he isn’t in the privacy of his bathroom, jerking himself off. No, he’s in his office, lying down on his luxe handwoven rug with you on top of him. You’re completely exposed except for the place where your yellow frock is scrunched around your waist, because you were so eager to have each other that Hyunjin hadn’t even bothered with completely undressing you. 

Hyunjin tightens his fingers around his cock and speeds up, pumping himself aggressively. He bites down on his lip and screws his eyes shut, as low, breathy moans escape him. He’s leaking already, flushed and throbbing under his palm. Hyunjin pushes a hand against the shower wall for support and whimpers at the thought of you riding him while slurping on that goddamn mango. He’s so delusional for you that you hadn’t even bothered with getting a knife to cut into the mango, instead holding it in your hand and biting into it while bouncing on his cock. 

Hyunjin lets out a groan as he strokes himself even faster, and he feels his orgasm rapidly approaching but refrains from releasing. He doesn’t deserve to come, not yet. He imagines your legs spread and your tight walls around him, instead of his own fist. Your cheeks are a deep red now, as Hyunjin pounds up into you, claiming you and making you his own. The juice from the mango is dripping all over your gorgeous breasts, trailing down even further and mixing with your own arousal. Hyunjin wonders about how you would taste. Were you as sweet as that mango you had eaten so damn seductively in front of him? No. You probably tasted even better. 

His soft moans have turned into harsh pants as Hyunjin’s hands begin to lose rhythm, unsteadily working his length. Hyunjin listens to your pretty sighs as you look down at him, pleasure and amusement contorting your features. 

“You want me so bad, don’t you?” 

“I do!” Hyunjin chokes out as a cry as the pressure rises in his core. He’s so, so close, the pearls of sweat rolling down his neck and becoming one with the water. 

“Hyunjin…”

Hyunjin’s name slips out of your mouth as easily as he flips you over onto your back, fucking harshly into you. He anchors his hand to your waist, gripping tightly, as you gaze up at him through your half-lidded eyes. Your bare chests are pressed together in a sticky haze of both your sweat and the juice of the mango you have now abandoned for something more satiating. Spurred on by the fucked-out smile on your face, he brings his free hand to your lips and you obediently suck on his fingers, wishing it was his cock instead. But you’re still in control, directing him with your eyes and whispering sweet praises to him. And then you’re clenching around him, your body shuddering underneath Hyunjin’s as you reach the peak of your ecstasy. 

“I need you to come for me, Hyunjin.”

Your final command makes Hyunjin convulse and tense, his back arching as he finally chases after his release. Hyunjin thrusts into his hand, overcome by the thought of you judging him while he comes. Hyunjin’s knees go weak as he strokes himself through his orgasm, violently spasming against the Carrara marble walls of his shower. His release shoots out in hot spurts, painting his trembling thighs and the walls a thick white. 

Breathless, Hyunjin opens his eyes and washes off his shame, but there’s only so much that water and coconut body wash can do. The moment he prepares to step out of his steaming shower, Hyunjin feels anything but cleansed— his situation is quite the opposite. The unholy thoughts that he had touched himself to had done anything but subside, struggling behind the dam in his mind that contains his last shreds of dignity. As he opens the door leading to his bedroom, the shock of cold air conditioning against his damp skin is a harsh reminder of reality. 

Hyunjin’s relationship with you is strictly limited to his office, the place where he did not get to fuck you in. Any discourse with sexual content is limited to your personal romantic endeavors that he has no role in whatsoever. You have zero idea about his filthy fantasies involving you, and see him merely as the person who would help you find happiness with someone else. Not him. He’s your therapist, and in clinical terms, you could be his patient.

The mirage of you standing in front of him disagrees, however. 

“You’re technically not my therapist—  more like my counselor.” 

Hyunjin watches with wide eyes as you bound over to him. Smirking, you playfully toy with the edge of the towel wrapped around his waist.

“But I am feeling kind of sick, though, Dr. Hwang. I’m all hot and aching, just for you.”

“Go away! You can’t be here.” Hyunjin shakes his head, quickly walking over to his closet and getting into his silk batik pajamas. “I’m going crazy…”

Princess Diana nips at Hyunjin’s ankles, prodding him to go back to his normal self and snuggle with her while they watch reality TV. 

“I just can’t right now, Diana,” Hyunjin exclaims exasperatedly. She gets the hint and slinks away, leaving Hyunjin alone in his bedroom.

He hadn’t even bothered with turning on the lights, the glimmering Los Angeles skyline past his expansive windows casting a pale glow in his room. If mindreading was a real thing, Hyunjin would be done for, because the thoughts that had transpired today would ruin him, shrivel up his reputation and business. If this went beyond the confines of his home, continuing to force itself into his daily life, he could lose everything. His job, his name, his purpose. Nevertheless, Hyunjin feels his hand sliding down once more, like a sinful memory of the past. It’s going to be another long night, and what happens tomorrow is variable. But Hyunjin knows one thing to be true.

He is so fucked.

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

AUTHOR'S NOTE

That was the longest thing I've ever written for one piece. AND IT'S ONLY CHAPTER 1 LMFAO. Anyway, hope you liked it, loves! I'll be hiding under my blankets tonight and screaming about my first published smut scene EVER. Please leave your thoughts, I don’t mind if you leave a whole essay ;) -Vaish

TAGLIST

@skzfelixlove @army-stay-noel, @hwangjuhong, @chizumiyoshi @hyunjinswifeee @geneziesm @sherryblossom @yeetfellx @bennetbutton @chillseo @hyuneyeon @seosalad @nhyunn @hyunjinnie2000 @ajxreads @n2tl4na @yeahsspider @8makes1scream ***The users that I could not tag are written in pink***

Network: @kflixnet

📢 ©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

[xyuna0]

TOOTH AND CLAW, lee minho

CHAPTER THREE ⎯⎯ burnt

⎯⎯ pairs ‣‣‣ gang leader!lee minho x fem!witch!reader ⎯⎯ rating ‣‣‣ 18+ ⎯⎯ genre ‣‣‣ smut ‣ historical!au ‣ fantasy!au ‣angst ‣ crime drama ‣ strangers to frenemies to lovers ‣ soulmates(?) ‣ hurt ‣ dark fic ‣ slow burn ‣ mythical!au ‣ historical!au ‣ fantasy!au ‣ magic!au ‣ mafia!au ‣ detective!au ‣ peaky blinders!au ⎯⎯ warnings ‣‣‣ inappropriate language ‣ gore ‣ death ‣ blood ‣ mythical creatures ‣ corpses ‣ magic ‣ witches ‣ werewolves ‣ vampires ‣ seers ‣ inaccurate historical references ‣ references to peaky blinders ‣ cigarette smoking ‣ alcohol consumption ‣ spirits ‣ rituals ‣ arguable stalking ‣ sex work ‣ bombs ‣ following ‣ war references ‣ explosions ‣ burn victims ‣ let me know if i missed any ⎯⎯ word count ‣‣‣ 5.9k words

remember to reblog and comment!

“You were right.”

“About?”

“The dock workers found a shipment of cigarettes and guns, all hidden just where you said.”

You nodded, arms crossed over your chest as the early morning wind blew past you. The sun was only just beginning to rise, the dark moon and starless sky barely lightening. Nayeon stood beside you, a cigarette on her lips. 

After the seance, you had given her a job. You couldn’t stop thinking of the plans you’d spotted on Lee Minho’s desk. You had recognised the designs, the shipping docks. 

Nayeon had already stationed herself there for information the previous week, you just asked her to gain more information from her sources. Many of the men had become rather affiliated with Nayeon, attracted and flirting whenever they could. 

All she had to do was lift part of her dress and they were simple roaches. All awaiting her demands. 

“Which of them work for the Blinders?” You took the cigarette from Nayeon and inhaled, the warmth settling in your chest. You were still in your night dress alone, not suitably dressed for the cold morning dew. 

Nayeon pointed to a man sitting beside multiple crates, including the ones she had helped you recover. “He has placed quite a few bets without paying. Practically sold himself to satisfy his debt.”

Interesting. 

That man must be how the gang snuck in all their deliveries. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of the razor blades, getting their eyes cut and ruined. The Peaky Blinders earned their name and reputation for a reason. 

“Has he already told them about the deliveries?”

“My guess is that Lee Minho already knows about the shipment. This is just a hiding place.”

It made sense. The schematics could simply offer more places for them to hide. Perhaps even provide a cover if they needed to act out a robbery. The gang wouldn’t simply allow an informant to be revealed. 

You sighed, “Move the spot. There’s a new copper coming here, and from what I read… he will find this easily.” 

“We are helping the Peaky Blinders now?” Nayeon had a catlike grin on her face, eyebrows wiggling. She had always believed that you held a soft spot for Yongbok. Which you did. “Don’t want them in jail?”

“Not when they’re going to protect us from the monster.” You handed her back the cigarette and patted her back. Nayeon nodded, she wanted to kill the monster as much as you. If only you knew just what kind of creature it was. “Move the items and let me know where, I’ll tell Minho tonight.”

She looked at you peculiarly. “Tonight? Are you sure?”

The twenty-fourth victim would be hunted tonight. And you would ensure that it would not be your sister. In fact, you could only hope that there would not be a victim. But you knew better than to provide false hope. 

Someone would die. But you would not let it be your family. 

“I will be fine.” You rubbed your hands on your arms. The thin sleeves of your nightgown did not provide warmth against the cold wind. Morning dew laid along the walls and boxes of the docks, the slowly rising sun illuminating it. You would need to get home soon.  “Let me know where they have been moved to by midday.”

Nayeon inhaled the cigarette, letting it rest on her lip. “Of course.” She offered you a smile, though her eyes were vacant. The smile failed to convince you, Nayeon was worried about that night. If her worry kept her working toward hunting the beast, then you did not mind. 

You handed Nayeon her sunglasses and she took them, placing them atop her head. She claimed that the men at the docks were all human, all safe. You didn’t believe her. Since you’d first sent her to control the docks weeks earlier, you’d always reminded her to wear the protection. 

It was always when you were caught off guard that you would be caught. Monsters can do a very good job of resembling humans. And since none of you knew what it was, who it was, protection was necessary. 

She dug the cigarette butt into the ground, grinding it below her boot. The man beside the crates, who worked as a rat for the Peaky Blinders, looked up to you both. You held his stare. He only looked away when Nayeon approached him and spoke. 

You knew that she could handle things. So, you turned and walked away. The morning sun still rose higher, turning the dark sky to hues of grey and yellow. No one in the city was walking through the streets. Either already at work or preparing for it. 

The only people you could see were the ones who had slept in the street - due to drunken behaviour or being homeless. It was an odd sight. You were used to the bustling life in the streets. The chaos that came with it. 

It was simply peculiar to witness. 

“You’re awake early, Red.”

Part of you wished that it was only you and the sleeping people on the cobblestone street. “Good morning, Mr Lee.” Minho walked beside you, his feet falling in a pattern with your own. Right. Left. Right. Left. 

He was dressed immaculately. Dark suit, fitted and straight aligned, shoes polished. Vest buttoned and flat, the toe below it even with its knot. His gun holster even presented flawlessly underneath the trench coat he wore. The hat on his head was crooked, only slightly, but it seemed purposeful. 

It all suited Lee Minho. But, you felt horrifically underdressed beside him. You did not wear proper attire, not even your lipstick, and your hair was messy in its style. “What are you doing here?”

“The job I believe you asked me to do, dear.” Right. Left. Right. Left. Your feet continue to walk in pattern with his. You could feel his eyes on your face, scrutinising the details. He would not get the satisfaction of your attention - you kept your eyes on the ground.

“I asked you to protect my sister, not me.”

“And I’ve put my best men toward her protection, just like I told you I would.” You looked up and faced him, his face tense. Even with the teasing tone in his voice and the mocking smile on his lips, he was stiff. Minho’s jaw was naturally clenched, and his shoulders tight. Had he ever been truly relaxed? Or simply, not on alert? “That still leaves you, though, doesn’t it, Red?”

You would have been flattered if it were someone else discussing your protection. But this was Lee Minho. He did everything for a reason. You doubted that your help and information were enough of a cause for Minho to willingly follow you. 

Protect you. 

“Perhaps I shouldn’t call you that,” Minho stopped and placed his hand on your chin. Ultimately, it caused you to stop in place as well, your eyes watching him curiously. If not for your sunglasses, you were sure that Minho would have looked into your eyes. He still tried though, and it made saliva build in your throat, “where is that whorish lip you love?”

You pondered over whether you should correct him again. You chose not to, his smile was already mischievous enough, and you were sure it would only make him continue to do so. “I haven’t applied it yet, Mr Lee. You must miss it if you’ve noticed.”

“No. But it is forcing me to be creative with names. You can’t expect me to call you Red now.” You clenched your teeth, nostrils flared. Minho put his thumb upon your bottom lip, much like the previous night. “Princess also works. Suits you much better.”

“There is also the option of using my actual name, Mr Lee.”

He let go of your lip, grinning as it bounced back to its place. “Far too boring. Everyone calls you that, do they not?” His hands even let go of your chin, and you were quick to turn away and hide your face from him. Minho resumed walking, and you followed. Right. Left. Right. Left. “As we will be working together from now on, I should get my own name for you, Princess.”

The name was a lot different to how he previously said it. Maybe it was how his voice deepened and his tongue rolled the letters. It made your eyes widen and your heart thump. “That doesn’t explain why you insist on protecting me yourself.”

“You intrigue me.” 

“How so?”

He smiled, “Ways I’m not sure you will understand.”

It was as though you were in the dark about a secret. How naive he was. Lee Minho was known for thinking of himself as better than everyone, but it felt different. You could feel it. 

You detested false modesty, especially from that of a human. Yes, Minho did control the underground parts of the city, but he had no control over the reality of this world. You were sure that if he knew of the things you did, that the monster hunting women was not human, that Lee Minho would cry and run. 

He was lucky that he had the Peaky Blinders and intelligence. Without that, Lee Minho would be an average man. 

Maybe that was what you admired in Minho. He had intelligence far beyond human means. Though that did not change your mind over the hatred you felt over his words. You had done him many favours, some he did not even know of, yet he spoke down to you like you were some… human. 

“Do you believe I am dumb, Mr Lee?”

“No. Quite the contrary. I just can't afford to have you running away and leaving me with questions.” 

Your apothecary was near, the warm light you had lit before leaving still present. Two men stood outside the building, Seo Changbin and a man you recognised as Han Jisung. You did not know much about Jisung, only a select few did, he was a man of very few words. They both adorned Peaky Blinders’ hats. 

Minho was not wrong when he stated that he assigned his best men to your sister’s protection. Changbin was a very muscular man, and you had witnessed many of the brawls Han Jisung participated in. While he never spoke to more than five people, he enjoyed participating in illegal boxing. 

He always won and turned a profit. The rare times you would go to the matches, often to meet with Yun-Jim who worked as a barmaid, you would win with bets placed upon him. 

Your sister would not be awake yet. She tended to sleep late through the day and live aloud at night. She claimed that she found magic easier under the moonlight. You’d been the same when you first got your gift, Nayeon and yourself would often sneak away to practise together. 

“You’ve given her two men?”

Minho hummed in agreement, nodding slightly to the two men at your door. “I told you that she would be protected.”

“And then you assigned yourself to my guard?” You had a teasing smile on your cheek. The sun was almost completely out, warming your skin and the air around you. You worked on unlocking the door of the apothecary for you all. “Some may consider that favouritism, Mr Lee.”

“Let them.”

If you had been facing him, you were sure that you would have exposed yourself as flustered. But, you were still looking at the door and opening it. Good. You were unsure if you could handle Minho knowing that he flustered you easily. 

He already had plenty of women wanting his affection. You’d witnessed how they would make utter fools of themselves for the chance. You wouldn’t let him think that you were so simple. Lee Minho was simply an aide in your mission to kill a monster. 

“I’ll see you tonight,” you walked inside with Changbin and Jisung behind you. Minho stood on the bottom step in front of your apothecary, mouth still curled in a grin. It still didn’t meet his eyes, nor manage to unclench his jaw. He was a very tense man. “I’d love to know where you’ve moved my packages to.”

He knew of your conversation with Nayeon. He knew of your upper hand in the dance you shared. Just how long had Lee Minho been following you? 

“I must say, I wasn’t expecting you to hunt down my items. Especially so fast,” you let your sunglasses fall down your nose slightly, a hand on your hip. The other men had gone inside and to your kitchen, you could hear them talk with Eui, “I should have listened to Felix much sooner.”

It was off-putting to hear Yongbok’s other name. He had always introduced himself, spoke as, was Yongbok. Not Felix. You found the name suited him all the same, just like the freckles on his cheeks. 

You doubted many could pull them off. 

“Goodbye, Princess. Make sure you rest.”

[—]

Hwang Hyunjin was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. He was a sensitive man, raised by a widow and taught in the arts as opposed to fighting. His eyes were always raw with emotion and his hands always soft to hold someone. 

It was his emotion that first caught your attention. You were both young teenagers, and he had been your first human friend. His eyes would never stray from your own. Hyunjin treated you like a person. 

He had helped you take care of your sister when she was just a child. When his mother passed away, your family had sheltered him. When he was enlisted for the war, you chose to register as a nurse to make sure he was safe. 

You hadn’t been able to protect him. The large burn scars across his face were proof of that. It seemed as though anyone you vowed to protect faced tragedy. 

Hwang Hyunjin had refused to face you, face anyone, since then. Those sweet eyes you always knew he had were changed. Hatred burned in them. It was not your fault he nearly died, but it was your fault that he pulled through. 

It was your choice to keep him alive when all he wanted was to pass. Then you had acted as though Hyunjin was wrong to be upset by his disfigurement. You were insensitive to one of the best men in your life. 

“May we come in?” Eui stood beside you, her head bowed and sunglasses worn across her eyes. A choice that you had ensured she utilised. Your original plan had involved bringing your sister, merely to take advantage of the familial love you knew he had for her, but she could not make it. 

A date, she claimed. 

Eui was your next best option. You knew that Hyunjin always held a soft spot in his heart for beautiful women. That wouldn’t change because of a disfigurement. If anything, it would be stronger due to how he exiled himself from the world. 

She was going to be your ticket inside of his home. Because, you knew that if it were only you, Hyunjin would have no care about slamming the door in your face. A negative of having known him so long, if you were a stranger he would have welcomed you with a tense grin. 

Hyunjin held a clenched jaw, his eyes staring at you with fury. One was still the warm brown you’d always associated with him, the other milky white and dull. The bomb had changed many things on his face. The right side of his face entirely burned, skin ruined and bubbled. Scars were littered across the skin of his face and neck - but you knew they continued lower. 

The image of a screaming and crying Hyunjin being carried in by soldiers was one you would never forget. You had to strip his uniform and perform miracles on his skin to save his life. When it was you both alone, Hyunjin asleep and on the verge of death, you performed magic. 

A selfish act. You did not want to lose Hyunjin. Even though he had told you in a ghostly whisper the previous night to let him pass. 

“Fine.” 

Hyunjin moved away from the doorway and opened the door wider. You stayed back, staring into his mismatched eyes and examining the paints on his cheek, but Eui walked inside. She bowed slightly upon doing so, keeping her head ducked low to show respect. 

You’d told her on the way that he was sensitive regarding his injury. It seemed like a smart idea, though you were beginning to regret the act. 

Hyunjin’s eyes always held his emotions, he was easier to read than a simple clock. You saw how his eyes widened only slightly, the brown eye watering. He was already convinced that no one would look at him without fear, seeing how Eui ducked her head must’ve convinced him further. You knew he wouldn’t be able to see through his milky white eye, the cost of being alive from your doing. 

If he had managed to survive without the aid of your magic, perhaps he would be more forgiving. Or, if he had been given to any other nurse that night, he would still smile at you like a friend. He wouldn’t blame you for being alive.

Even though he had no idea just what you had done to keep him in your realm. 

“Thank you, Hyunjin,” you walked inside the home, leading Eui to the tea room you had spent many nights in. It had been years since you stood inside his home, though nothing had changed regarding it. There were still easels and artworks leaning on the walls, tubes of paint thrown around without a care. 

You doubted anyone had been inside his home for a long time. Hyunjin was often a neat man, as he was taught by his mother, seeing the messy room only made guilt settle in your throat. “Did he paint this?” 

Eui approached the half-finished canvas sat on the easel. Her finger was gentle to touch the dried edges, hovering in the air only slightly as it slid down the haunted visage. 

“Yes, he did,” you heard the front door of the house close and Hyunjin’s light steps walk toward the tea room. The canvas was a horrible image. The image of a ghost. 

The image of Choi Hana. Her face, bloodied and torn with fear as a silhouetted beast ravaged her. The work was unfinished, but it fulfilled its duty of making your eyes widen in fear. 

“Why are you here?” Eui turned away from the canvas first, looking at Hyunjin with curiosity. You were unsure if you could look away from the art. You hadn’t wanted to keep Hana’s image in your heart, one of pain. 

It seemed the universe had other motives. “I had a dream,” you had never told Hyunjin of your magical lineage, nor your powers. You would have, but the comfort of normalcy that he provided was too enticing. He treated you normally. He treated you human, “one involving you and this creature.”

You looked away from the work and to Hyunjin. His eye was caught with sorrow, his wooden cane clenched tightly in his fist. “Dreams are the work of demons,” he sighed and took a seat in his favourite chair. It was one his mother had always sat in to tell him stories, “they are often untrustworthy.”

He gestured to the couch tensely, and both you and Eui took a hesitant seat. You took off your sunglasses, placing them upon your lap, and Eui did the same. She knew that you’d only do so when it was safe. Eui was smart. 

Her eyes were still on Hyunjin, curiously taking in all of him. You were sure her mind was filled with questions about his frustration and your comfort. Not many knew of your relationship with Hwang Hyunjin, and most forgot after he stopped talking to the world. 

You trained your bare eyes on Hyunjin. He was only human, there was no need for your sunglasses and the shield they provided. “There was also Mrs Jung who spoke your name,” a lie. She was a woman who provided seances with the deceased. False rituals, you knew she did it purely to fuck with people mourning. Hyunjin did not. “I am sure you’ve heard of the murders happening.”

“How could I not?” His eyes moved over to the canvas behind you and Eui, the one half finished and torturous. Hyunjin looked fearful and saddened. Almost as though he was scared of the image he created. 

A rather intriguing idea if you ignored the morbid nature behind it. 

Eui leaned toward him and placed a soft hand on his knee. It caused his head to turn toward her at an incredulous speed, his eyes wide. That was a special gift of Eui’s, she had a calming aura. You’d never met someone else who could efficiently work her way into people’s lives. 

She was a good person to have on your side. She was easy to twist as you wish and Eui could easily provide you with what you needed. Such as Hyunjin, whose romantic heart was softening to the sweet girl. 

He did have a very soft spot for beautiful women. 

“You’re very talented,” her voice was soft and raspy. You watched as his eyes softened to her, the unharmed cheek turning a pale red. 

Hyunjin had been your friend, and most days you often wished that he still was, but you had to do what you had to do. Nothing would be solved if you played nice. 

You crossed your leg over your knee, “He always has been. Though his paintings were less haunting when we were children.” Eui seemed intrigued by the information, while Hyunjin looked rather annoyed at your input. He had leaned into Eui’s touch, and she was still leaning toward him. Peculiar. “His talent is still as fantastic as it always has been.”

“I’d love to see more paintings,” she smiled sweetly. Hyunjin experimentally pushed a hand forward, one dusted in dried paints of red and brown, and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Eui’s ear. She was caught off guard, her face dropping in surprise and her cheeks growing pink. “Only if you’d like to show me, of course.”

Hyunjin still had a way with women. You would have chuckled if it were another time. But there was limited time in the day and only so much information you could tempt out of Hyunjin with Eui as bait. 

Though, you still felt as though you’d been intruding on a moment between them. “He can show you tomorrow morning, Eui. Perhaps you could even tempt him with those delicious treats you make.” She had a rather sweet hand when it came to baking. You could recall that Eui’s parents had run a bakery before they passed away. “For now, you have to go back to the telegram office.”

Eui nodded and stood, placing her sunglasses back on. The clock in the hallway chimed four times, and she ducked her head. “It was lovely to meet you Hyunjin.”

“You too.”

“Make sure you collect the telegrams I’ve asked of you, dear.” She smiled at you, a teasing secretive smile. You were sure that Eui enjoyed knowing that you had welcomed her and trusted her with unknown information. Not many got that trust from you. “Hyunjin and I will organise a time for you tomorrow.”

She left after that, leaving you and Hyunjin in silence. Not even the closing of his front door brought enough noise to break it. He stared at you as though you were the enemy. Perhaps you were. You’d kept him alive for your own selfish reasons and then lost him that same year. 

His jaw was tense once again, teeth grating while he stared you down. You looked into his eyes, keeping your face plain. Had it been when you were children, you were sure that Hyunjin would have worked out your true emotion. 

Not anymore. 

Life was too serious to showcase all weaknesses. No one survives by being nice. “Why did you paint Choi Hana?”

Your voice was tense. You wanted her to be pictured as the loving girl she was. Not the traumatic way she died. Hyunjin had immortalised her in her death, her worst moments, and that was never good for one’s second life. 

It did not help your comfort knowing that Hana was burning in a horrid afterlife of monsters. Not only was she given a drowned funeral, but she was also pictured in her fatal moments. Choi Hana was doomed to rot in the fire and brimstone of the monster realm. 

“Is that her name?” He sounded genuinely surprised by the information. You doubted he had left the home in many days, you doubted he had even known of the tragic way she was sent off. “She was in my dreams a few nights ago.”

Your breath caught in your throat, “How many nights, Hyunjin?” 

“Three.”

Coincidences were not something you believed in. You knew that they were false, illusions to humans for beliefs they did not want to acknowledge. There was no chance that Hwang Hyunjin having a dream of young Hana’s death the night she died was a coincidence. 

Nothing in the world was one. Especially something involving monsters and beasts. 

Your stomach turned and you blinked. The Hyunjin you remembered had no dreams of death. He could never even hurt a bug. During the war, he had refused to kill anyone. The first night you had consoled him as he cried, having shot an enemy man in the leg. 

You’d assured him repeatedly that the man would survive. Though, Hyunjin still never raised his gun higher than necessary. He wasn’t a murderer. Your childhood friend Hyunjin was not a monster. 

This Hyunjin, you were unsure of. You’d never spoken with him in-depth, never explored his mind and seen his true emotions like the Hyunjin you remembered. The war changed everyone, especially those who were injured. 

Had you turned Hwang Hyunjin into a beast that night in the infirmary? Magic always came with risks, especially when it involved the balance of life and death. Were you naive enough to believe Hyunjin’s eye was the only cost of keeping him alive? Could he be the beast you were hunting?

You leaned back in your seat on the couch, squinting your eyes at Hyunjin. “That was the night she died.” Dreams told stories. Your dreams were often of the war and of people you missed. Hyunjin’s had once been of living as a painter. 

To dream of someone dying as they do so in reality… that is not human. 

“I did not realise she was a real person.”

“Is that so?” You didn’t know what to believe. You hated that. 

Knowledge was something you valued. It was something that helped you feel superior, it gave you strength. Without your knowledge, you would have died long before the monster arrived. Being confused, and not having answers, left you sick to your stomach. 

Hyunjin looked at you peculiarly. He had always been sensitive, but since the explosion he had become even more aware of the reactions people gave. You were sure his mind was ticking with the reasons why you were leaning away, acting strange. “Have you had any other dreams?”

His lips formed a thin line, and his long dark hair curtained his cheeks. “Fifteen.”

“You sound sure…”

“The images don’t leave my head,” he looked at his easel and the canvases he had laid against the wall beside it. His voice was strained, crazed, “not until I paint them.”

You counted the completed works. Fourteen. The fifteenth would be Hana’s portrait. 

Your fire had been correct the previous night. Hwang Hyunjin had something to do with the beast. You hoped it was only knowledge - false hope. “What do you see?”

He laughed incredulously, “Why would you want to know?”

“I plan to kill the beast. I’ve been told that you are somehow involved. I'd been hoping that it was wrong,” you clenched your jaw and lifted your nose. You were not good with emotion - it was not how you were raised. It was why you enjoyed Hyunjin’s company as a child, he helped you explore your heart while you helped him understand the world, “but your dreams are telling me that it was correct.”

Hyunjin’s nostrils flared. “You think that I would kill those women?”

“I think that you know more than what you are telling me.”

You kept your face stoic. Hyunjin did not. His expression was one of fury, the burns on the right of his face only adding to the passion. His hair was a mess, fingernails were broken to the nub. 

He looked like a passionate man on the verge of breaking. You couldn’t help the pain in your mind. He had never been mad before, never as crazy as he looked before you. Was it your fault he was like this?

“They are just dreams. Nothing more. I’ve been having them since the war.”

You shook your head in disagreement. “Those are premonitions.” Seungmin had told you of the dreams he would have. Though, he had control over what he could and could not see. As well as when. Hyunjin didn’t have that control. “Has it always been about death?”

Hyunjin nodded and dug his fingers into his thighs. Paint was sprayed on his pants as well as his skin. “Yes.”

“Have you spoken to anyone about them?” You’d have to send Seungmin over to help. It was your fault Hyunjin was seeing death (you still refused to believe he could cause it) and you would not let him rot away because of it. 

“Yang Jeongin.”

That was a name you hadn’t heard in a very long time. You were surprised that Hyunjin had even heard of the man. Only humans in the business world knew of Yang Jeongin. 

You knew him for other reasons. He was one of the eldest vampires in the country. 

As a child, your mother had taken you to meet him. She required his blood for the apothecary - one of the rarest ingredients one can use. You still held the vial of blood in the apothecary, hidden away from wandering eyes. 

You could recall how his mate, freshly turned from human to vampire, watched you with eyes of hunger. You were only six years old, and you had hidden behind the legs of your mother. Jeongin had simply laughed at your fear and said that his love was “not yet used to the hunger.” 

Most new vampires could not control their urges for blood. Jeongin had kept her in charge and reminded her that you and your mother were guests in their castle. 

Outside of that world, Yang Jeongin and his wife operated one of the most successful alcohol companies in the country. Their bourbon was expensive but delicious, and champagne bubbly as well as addictive. From your night in their home, you’d learnt it was simply a front for their more illegal activity. 

It was rare for anyone to secure a deal with the Yang family. Especially humans. Though you were sure that Jeongin would have taken a shining time Hyunjin, he and his wife often enjoyed human pets to play with. 

“How do you know Yang Jeongin?” Your voice gave away your surprise, and it made Hyunjin smile slightly. 

You missed his smile. It was comforting to see, it reminded you of simpler days as teenagers. “I paint for he and his wife. In return, they take care of me.”

Yang Jeongin’s version of care was not something you wanted to know. Just from the one time you’d seen him, you had learnt enough - even if it took you years to properly understand what was happening. 

“And you told him of your premonitions?”

Hyunjin shrugged his shoulders and lightened the squeeze on his thighs. You noticed the veins in his hand disappear slightly. “Jeongin is a vampire. I thought he could help me, somehow.”

You could have acted as though you were surprised by the information. But you knew Hyunjin was smarter than that, and you knew that Jeongin would not have only told him that he was a vampire. To survive as long as he has, you have to keep numerous plans in your mind. 

Instead, you just nod in knowing and let Hyunjin continue. He seemed to respect that, not pointing out how you already knew of Yang Jeongin’s secret to the human world. “But he was unable. All he said was that a witch had caused it. You wouldn’t happen to know something about that?”

“I’m sure you already know.” Part of you was glad that Hyunjin knew you were not human, while another wished you were given the chance to tell him yourself. He did not seem mad, his hands and shoulders were relaxed and his face calm. “I am sorry. I did not know what it would cause.”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

You looked away from him and looked around the room further. Not much had changed since you had last been in it. Though it was more messy and dusty, the furniture and its layout were the same. 

Though there was a hat with razor blades sewn in hanging from a chair. You criticised yourself for being surprised by the hat, it seemed Lee Minho had roots all over town. Including Hyunjin. 

“Are you able to get me a meeting with Yang Jeongin?” There were perks of having one of the eldest vampires interested in you. He had more information in his head than any book could hold. You could still recall the stories he told you that night about werewolves and a nymph he had encountered centuries earlier. If you were able to ask him about the beast… perhaps you could find a way to kill it. 

Minho would even join you, it wasn’t easy to arrange a day with Yang Jeongin. But the Peaky Blinders could certainly benefit from securing a deal with the Yangs and their company. 

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“Unfortunately, I am.”

Hyunjin sighed and tapped his fingers on his thigh. “Jeongin comes into town in two weeks. In his home just outside of town. Send him a telegram.” 

You nodded, choosing not to question him. Yang Jeongin played by his own rules, and if Hyunjin was able to secure his trust then you would have to oblige and listen. Even if it meant biting your tongue and letting the vampire couple act like the lusty beasts you remember. 

“Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll send Eui over at midday tomorrow. Kim Seungmin should come in the morning,” you would make him, at least. You placed your sunglasses on and stood up from your seat. Hyunjin nodded, he most likely knew of Seungmin and his abilities. He wasn’t exactly someone who liked to hide his powers. “Tonight there will be another death. I’ll send over a tea before the sun sets so you do not have dreams.”

He blinked slowly - a silent thank you. You were glad to know your old friend was not a monster, Jeongin would have killed him had he been one. While he was an ancient monster, he did not like murderers. Though, you still felt guilty for his newfound power. 

It was your fault for being reckless. You gambled with life and cost a man his sanity. But you were still happy that he was alive.

If you had lost Hyunjin for good, you didn’t know what you would do. 

“Good luck, Hyunjin.”

if you're able to support me and my writing, you can buy me a coffee here ♡

© COMET-FALLS 2023

[xyuna0]

Yours Truly

This is part 14 to my Skz poly fic.

Previous<<<< Next>>>>

Warnings: None

You woke up to Minho cuddling into you. All of the boys soft snores occupying the room. It was nice to hear. It made you happy. You really needed to pee though. You wiggle out of Minhos grasp and eventually free yourself and walk to the bathroom. As you leave the bathroom you see Seungmin and Felix now walking to the kitchen.

You come up behind them and hug Felix. "I thought you left." Felix says and turns around in your arms.

"Nope. Just went to the bathroom." You say and Seungmin now moves you from Felix to bring you into his arms.

Seungmin kisses you on the cheek and it's the first time any of the boys have done that. "So cute it's almost sickening." You hear Hyunjin say and you look up at him.

Seungmin rolls his eyes playfully. "Just say you want a kiss next time." Seungmin says and he lets go of you going up to Hyunjin. Seungmin kisses Hyunjin and pulls away looking at his older boyfriend.

"I love you." Hyunjin tells him.

"I love you more." Seungmin says now going back to Felix.

"So what are we making?" Seungmin asks his boyfriend who giggles.

"Strawberry cupcakes from scratch." Felix says pulling out the ingredients.

"Do you want to help Y/N?" Felix asks his eyes almost sparkling in the light.

"Sure." You say smiling.

"Are you just going to stand there and look pretty Jinnie or are you going to help?" Seungmin asks his boyfriend who stands in the doorway as he pulls out the flour.

Hyunjin goes into the kitchen grabbing the eggs. "Y/N could you go into the fridge and grab the strawberries and cut them up?" Felix asks you as he grabs the cutting board.

You open the fridge grabbing the strawberries. "Cut them in half and then put them in the puree blender." Felix says as he pours the dry ingredients together. Seungmin starts the timer and goes to grab the rest of the ingredients.

"Hyunjin grab the other container and you're just going to cut those in half you won't need the whole thing so cut like half of them." Felix says as he brings out the other cutting board.

Felix and Seungmin mix the ingredients together. "I didn't mean that earlier." Hyunjin says starting to feel guilty about how it sounded.

"I know." Y/N says smiling at him reassuringly. Yet Hyunjin just sighs the guilt not leaving him. Hyunjin knew sometimes his teasing had gone far.

You look at him as he chops the strawberries lost in thought. "Jinnie?" You ask him and he looks up at you in surprise at the nickname.

"Hmm?" He asks the initial shock now going away.

"It's okay." You say smiling at him.

"Are you sure?" He asks. Hyunjin wasn't very sure of himself sometimes so he always wanted to make sure the people he cared about were sure of their answers.

You put the knife down going up to him. You take the knife out of his hand and put it down. Your hands intertwine with his and you smile at him again. "I'm sure Jinnie." You say and Hyunjin smiles back at you now completely reassured.

You kissed his cheek and smiled at him. Hyunjin was turning red now. "Are you blushing?" Seungmin says laughing at his boyfriend.

"Oh shut up." Hyunjin grumbles throwing a strawberry at him. The strawberry hits Seungmin.

"Oh you're going down loverboy." Seungmin says grabbing a strawberry from your pile.

"Why am I being used as a shield? I'm an innocent bystander!" You say to both boys.

"Well you're in the way so...." Seungmin says and throws the strawberry at you.

"Seungmin!" You screech as the strawberry hits you.

Both boys laugh and Hyunjin lets go of you. "I'm going to get you back!" You say laughing and grabbing a strawberry.

You watch as Felix finishes the cupcake batter.

"Hey! We're in the process of making cupcakes so don't throw the-" Felix says and before he finishes you throw the strawberry at Seungmin who dodges it. It hits Felix in the middle of that.

Felix is surprised by being hit by a strawberry. The initial shock goes away as the flour is still beside him. He looks at the flour and then at you guys.

"Don't you dare do that!" Seungmin yells as Felix grabs a handful of flour.

You all run from Felix as he chases you with flour around the kitchen. He eventually catches you all throwing flour all over you. You all can't help but laugh.

"I hate you all." Seungmin says as flour is in his hair and on half his face.

"We love you too." Hyunjin says who has a Felix sized hand print of flour on the side of his face from Felix pinning him down and rubbing it on his face.

"That was fun!" Felix says still giggling. Felix had flour all on his shirt from chasing you guys and a little bit of flour on his hair.

You laugh at Felix. "It was." You say. You had gotten the worst of it the boys tag teaming you and throwing flour all over you. Your hair was practically white now and you knew it wasn't going to be fun getting that out but you could care less right now.

"Minho is going to kill us." Seungmin says realizing flour was all over the floor and counters.

"Oh definitely." Hyunjin says now holding you from behind his head resting on your shoulder. It was comforting.

"We should definitely clean this up before he realizes." Felix says sighing.

"Before he realizes what?" You hear Minho say as he appears at the door.

Minhos eyes widen as his eyes look at the kitchen. "What the hell did you guys do to my kitchen?!?" Minho says now looking at the 4 of you.

"It was Felix!" Seungmin says quickly.

"Oh screw you! What happened to being loyal to me!" Felix says to his younger boyfriend.

"We are but that doesn't count when it comes to Minhos kitchen." Hyunjin says now pulling you with him out the kitchen as Minho glares at Felix.

'I'm sorry' you mouth to Felix and he gives you a weak smile.

"Let's go before Minho has us sleeping in the backyard. I don't want that happening again." Hyunjin says pulling you towards a room.

"Again?" You ask him as he closes the door.

He nods going through the closet looking for clothes. "Minho once made us sleep in the backyard because Jisung forgot to do the dishes and so he punished all of us. He said and I quote 'Either you all sleep in the backyard tonight or you'll all wake up bald in the morning because of Jisung.' You haven't seen any of us bald and I want it to stay that way." Hyunjin says pulling out 2 shirts and 2 pairs of sweatpants.

"Here you can take a shower." Hyunjin says handing you some clothes.

"Thank you." You say taking them from him. You go to the bathroom in the room and shut the door. You turn the water on letting it warm up.

You look into the mirror. You felt good for once looking at yourself even with flour all over you. You couldn't help but smile. These boys were bringing the joy in your life and you couldn't be more thankful.

Taglist: @queenmea604 @lolareadsimagines @tinyworld18 @liv302 @jinniespuppy @stephy-nicole13 @haikyuuisposts @freyaniobe @chansbabygirlsstuff @jkookiejiminlvr @hyuneyeon @sirenthalia @nagadiluc @tenshimara @leeknowleeknow @boi-bi-ahaha @shltsnglggles @jfkedldndkd @tinystarsthing @armystay89 @baby-fairy-yas @haileybugulug @freckleboilix @im-sinking-in-mud @thatoneperson1911 @lmaouwu @greysweaters-blog @katrodriguez99 @3rachasninja @amararosesblog @1alesakura @m4gg13-g @vampcharxter @noellllslut @berryberrytaeberry @junebug032 @jeonginwvr

[xyuna0]

ON TOUR.

PART II: OPENING ACT.

Hyunjin x reader x Felix.

Previous chapter: SOUNDCHECK.

Synopsis: Your best friend, Felix, is in a rock band and he takes you to join him on tour as the band’s photographer. On the road, you learn how to deal with his bandmate, Hyunjin, who’s not very welcoming of you. (15,4k words)

Author's note: Team Hyunjin, get ready to get spoiled. Apology in advance that the smut is not yet taken place in this chapter, pls hang on a little bit more.

The song was a warning sign for him.

"Here she comes, you better watch your step..."

From the end of the hall, he saw you coming, trailing behind a security guard. Your eyes met in the middle as both of you came towards each other.

Hyunjin didn't want to stare so he kept looking straight ahead, even though the urge to look at you again was too hard to resist.

"She's going to break your heart in two, it's true..."

Then something tugged the sleeve of his jacket and his phone dropped to the floor, accidentally putting the song on pause in the process.

"I'm so sorry," you said as you scrambled down to pick up the phone on the floor.

He saw you checked his phone for any damages only to see the song he was listening to. Probably knew he was watching, you picked it up and handed it to him while muttering your apology the dozen time.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again.

You looked up at him, with your eyes that shined under the fluorescent lights like a pool of still water that reflected the starry night sky.

"Can you help me?" You softly spoke to him.

He was mesmerized, he wanted to say something about what he just saw but to someone he randomly met in the hallway?

You said something again but he was so out of it for a moment that he didn't catch what you were saying. All he could catch at the end was you, pleading with those eyes.

"Please?"

He didn't want to be caught, bewitched by your eyes so he spat whatever crossed his mind at that moment, "And who are you?"

"I'm a friend of Felix," you hopelessly answered.

A friend of Felix? He knows all of Felix's friends but he hasn't seen you before. Not that he doubted your friendship, it's just that he prefers it if you were just a stranger.

"Can you please call him for me?"

What is it? What is this feeling suddenly gnawing inside him? He could easily do what you asked and calling Felix would only take a few taps on his phone but he found it hard to do it.

When he glanced up to look at you again, your eyes dimmed like a day turns midnight. With disappointment in your eyes, you lowly sighed and said, "You know what? Never mind."

He didn't have to be that crass but it was too late to try to fix it, all he could do was watch you walk away.

Hyunjin reminded himself that this shouldn't bother him so much, he tried to avert his thought somewhere else, hitting the play button to continue the song only to hear the lyrics speak to him.

"It's not hard to realize, just look into her false-colored eyes..."

After a quick trip to the restroom, Hyunjin walked back to the green room to find you again. His guilty conscience made him feel relieved that you were there and he could fix what happened earlier.

Hyunjin almost smiled, almost.

Until he saw you with Felix, sitting so close next to each other, your hand was in his hair and your eyes shined for him, just for him.

"Hyunjin, I want to introduce someone to you," Felix said to him.

The gnawing feeling returned and it started to eat him from the inside. What is it? He couldn't find the answer yet.

He didn't want to say anything because the last time he spoke whatever was inside his head, it didn't end up well.

Hyunjin shrugged and left.

The song suddenly played in the back of his head as if it was trying to mock him.

"She builds you up to just put you down. What a clown!"

-

This is one of the top three reasons why you chose to be a freelance because a work interview makes you nervous.

You've been bouncing your knee under the table without the other man in the room knowing while reading the paperwork you need to sign.

"Are you going to be cool?"

You abruptly stop reading and look up at him, "excuse me?"

Vin, the tour manager, called you to his hotel room to have you sign some paperwork.

He puts his reading glasses on, "What I'm trying to say is are you going to be okay sharing a room with Lou or should I rearrange everything to accommodate you?"

You lived in a co-ed student dorm for three years so it wouldn't make a big difference if you have to share a hotel room with Lou. He's alright, it wouldn't be an issue at all.

You immediately shake your head, "I have no problem at all!"

"And we're going to get on the tour bus after we're done with the first stop so you'll have to be okay sharing the space with five of us," he adds with furrowed eyebrows.

That randomly gets you wondering if it's possible to fit six people into a bus.

"We're going to twelve cities in three months or even more," he takes a sigh in between sentences, "and we'll do a few things in between, we'll always be on the road," he warns you for what's coming.

Well, when he puts it that way it sounds exhausting and mentally draining. 

"Can you do that?" He doesn't mean to scare you, he just wanted to know if you're up for the task before sealing the deal.

But you'll try because who knows? For now, you'll think of this as going on a road trip with your best friend. At least, 1/5 of it is true.

"Yes," you undoubtedly answer and sign all three papers.

He nods in acknowledgment as you hand them back to him, scanning them for a moment with his glasses slumped down his nose.

"One more question!" He says.

"Sure."

"Do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Husband? Wife? Children?"

"No," you reply, "not that I know of," you add with a dry laugh.

He looks at you through his lashes, "what is your real relationship with Felix?" He bluntly asks.

It's obvious he's going to ask if whatever it is between you and Felix wouldn't get in the way of his business to make sure the tour is going smoothly as planned.

"We're just friends," you assure him.

"Just friends?"

But to say that Felix is just a friend sounds like a crime when he's more than just that, "we're close," you correct your earlier answer.

"How close?" He slightly leans forward on the table.

That is the one question you do not dare to answer because you haven't fully figured it out yet yourself. Felix is more than just a friend, that's what you can say so far but of course, you wouldn't give Vin a vague answer like this.

"I know anything could happen," he cryptically says with a serious face, "but I expect business stays as business, do you hear me?"

It feels like a real business now because it feels like you're selling your soul to the devil the second you signed the deals. You remind yourself that you're here to work and the work happens to involve photographing your best friend, it's not entirely your fault that both sides of the deal are in your favor.

You silently gulp air and nod again, "Yes, I understand."

Vin looks at you for quite a while and you start to see your reflection in his eyes clearly, he then puts the papers back into a big, brown envelope.

"That'll be all," he says.

You let out a sigh of relief and you don't feel good staying in his hotel room for long, "I'd better get back to my room," you say.

"Sure," he says as he gets busy with his phone again.

"Good day, Mr. Vin!" You tell him as you get up from the chair.

He looks up from his phone with creases on his forehead, "just call me by my name," he orders.

But he's much older and he's your boss, you don't feel good calling him by his name. You stifle a nod and walk in the direction of the door 

"Have a good day," you say once again but avoid addressing him by his name.

You jog back to your shared hotel room with Lou, you knock on the door until he opens it, finding him dressed in a white sleeveless top and baggy pants.

"I guess we're roommates?" You tell him.

He leans against the door and sighs, "Good! Cause I already brought your things here," he says, showing you all of your belongings in the corner of the room.

He opens the door wide to let you in, there's only one bed in there but that's the last thing you should worry about.

"You know I can sleep on the couch and sometimes, I sleep around," Lou says, he noticed that you worried about having to share a bed with him.

"And by sleep around I mean I could sleep anywhere," he explains with a nonchalant shrug, "sometimes I don't even sleep at all."

You look at him and chuckle, "Since we got this job through nepotism, I think we should stick together."

"Agree!" He shortly responds with a stern nod.

You spot Lou's things next to the dresser. He got a duffel bag of clothes and a backpack for his personal belongings, nothing more.

Meanwhile, you brought a big suitcase for your clothes and another one for your cameras, a bag for your laptop and work-related stuff, then there's the backpack.

"We'll be on the road for the whole summer," you stutter, underwhelmed by the things he brought with him.

"Trust me, you'll end up dressed in the same thing every day," he confidently says as he sits on the couch and checks his phone.

You still doubt that is something you'll do, especially for someone who cares much about personal hygiene. But okay, you don't want to bet on it just yet. Just like Vin says, anything could happen.

"Anyway, congratulations on being the band's photographer!" He says, plopping onto the sofa.

"Thank you," you reply with a wide grin then sit on the end of the bed facing him.

He's typing on his phone real quick then says, "There! I added you to the group chat."

You can't wait to check it but you've been dying to know something, "Hey, if you don't mind me asking," you clear your throat before continuing.

"What's exactly your job?"

He looks up from his phone and thinks for a second as if you've just asked him an existential question, "well... my official job title is a roadie," he starts.

He rests his hand on the armrest and continues speaking, "But I do this and that, anything!"

It's getting even more unclear what his actual job desk is because from what you have observed and seen, he did all sorts of things.

"You know, I cater to anyone's needs," he adds.

Your phone dings with a new notification at the same time as Lou's, it's from the group chat. You open it to see a new message from Vin, ordering Lou to get coffee for the band's rehearsal.

"See? Anything!" He says with a plain smirk.

He gets up from the sofa and picks up his denim jacket from the top of his duffel bag.

"Can I come with you?" You wanted to help and you don't have much to do on your first day at work anyway.

Lou is putting on his jacket when he's answering to you, "thanks for not making me beg for you to help me," he says with a grin.

"Honestly, the temptation was there," you joke.

-

The first city on the tour happens to be a city that you have never visited before so are the rest of the cities you'll be touring to for the next couple of months. It's scary but exciting at the same time.

Sure, it pushes you out of your comfort zone but that's the challenge. From your experience of living abroad for years, you learned to keep yourself open to new things, new places, and this new job which requires you to learn to work under someone. Not to add pressure but that someone works for a famous rock band and a member of that rock band is your best friend who has high expectations of you from the way he entrusted this job to you.

This is not the right situation to be anxious, not when you're having both hot and cold beverages on your lap as you are strapped to the passenger's side.

Thankfully, Lou drives carefully because he knows that getting your skin burned on your first day on the job would not make a good impression.

You regularly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth while putting all of your focus on keeping the drinks still and steady, not wanting to spill a drop.

After an excruciating, anxiety-filled ten minutes of car ride, you arrived at the studio where the band is rehearsing for the tour.

You let out a big sigh of relief as the drinks are off your hands and being distributed to everyone on site, including the staff working the technical of the band instruments.

You take one knowing that it wouldn't help with the jitters but you need the caffeine to function. You take another one to bring it to Felix.

You haven't seen him since you landed a few hours ago and it's nice to finally see a familiar face greeting you with a wide grin and enthusiastic wave of hand from behind his drum.

He gets up to greet you with a hug, "how was the flight?"

"Too early," you shortly reply and hand him his drink of latte with countless pumps of syrup.

"You guys are rehearsing songs?" You ask from a list of songs written on the paper with a lot of scratches and notes on it.

He takes a small sip of his coffee and shows you the paper, "we're still working on the setlist," he says.

He sits back on his stool and takes another sip, "We have a lot of songs we wanted to play but you know... we can't just play our whole discography."

You nod as you see that a lot of songs got crossed off the setlist.

"It's the third time we going over it in the past three months," he adds with an exhausted smile.

It's news to you that they carefully handpicked their setlist when you thought they just play songs the fans come to the concert for. It takes a lot of consideration and time just to craft a setlist, apart from arranging the songs in so many ways to create a seamless flow throughout the concert.

The band also working on writing an intro and an outro to connect one song to another.

Since the band rehearsal is part of the schedule, you don't hesitate to take your camera out and take a few pictures. They look rather tired but you can't blame them for not fitting the images you had of them in your head, it only reminds you they're just human after all.

Han is the only one who seems to always have his energy at a hundred percent while Hyunjin... there's not much clue when he wears his bucket hat so low you can't see half of his face.

Hours passed without anyone noticing until Vin comes to the studio, telling everyone to take a break and the food he ordered for everyone arrived.

You finished up earlier than everyone else, you didn't eat much because the anxiety ate up all of your appetite. You feel full with two donuts and a cup of iced coffee.

Sitting on the empty sofa in the studio, you check on all the pictures you took earlier on your camera.

Felix comes in not long after, sitting next to you with his head leaning in, also looking at the picture you took.

His hand holds yours to pull the camera closer to his side, his rough palm surprises you that you got startled.

Aware of it, Felix turns over both of his hands, showing the inside of his hands to you.

"Ugly, yeah?" He says.

Ignoring his words, you trail the callous on his hands that prove how hard he worked on his drum playing and admire them.

"So this is how the greatest drummer's hand feels like," You sigh in wonder.

A smile rises on his face and you're glad that he didn't feel offended by your reaction to his hands earlier.

"Are you still playing guitar?" He suddenly asks.

You turn off your camera and safely put it back into your bag, "Nah," you answer almost immediately and that got him suspicious.

He hisses in disbelief and eyes narrowed at you, "You think I didn't see the guitar in your apartment?"

You burst into laughter, feeling embarrassed that he caught you lying to his face.

The only problem with Felix is he still believes that you're the exact, same person from years ago. Sure, you're still you, but you're older now and when you thought your anxiety would shrink with age, it did the opposite instead. 

"Let's have a quick jam," he comes up with an impulsive idea.

You immediately shake your head, "No, Felix. That's a bad idea!"

He doesn't seem to hear you, because he's getting up from the sofa and offers his hand at you.

"Come on! It's going to be fun!" He says as he gets behind his drum.

You stand in the middle of the room, not knowing what else to say to him that his expectations of you are so high.

You think of an excuse to stop him, "I believe rehearsal is going to continue soon," you say.

He starts tightening the screws on his drums, "and that's why we should hurry," he simply says.

You make up another excuse, "I don't have a guitar to play."

He points to Hyunjin's guitars with his drum stick, resting on their places, plugged in and tuned, ready to use.

"I don't think he would be happy with me borrowing—"

"I'll tell him that I give you the permission," he simply put you off.

That's another problem with Felix, he thinks the way Hyunjin treats you is normal when you can sense his dislike towards you even when you're not in the same room with him. Even just thinking about him sends a shiver down your spine.

"Another bad idea!" You strongly refuse with a head shake.

Felix throws daggers with his eyes at you, "He won't get mad, especially at me," he assures you.

Yeah, he won't but he surely will at you, you say inside your head.

"You still know the song we learned the first time, right?" He asks as he lightly taps his drums with the end of his drumsticks.

From the way he persists to continue, you have no other choice to but get it done already.

"Yes," you meekly reply.

How can you forget the one song he insisted you learn on guitar? Not forgetting that you only knew a few chords at that time.

But Felix was adamant that you have to play the guitar so the two of you can form a band together. He is adamant still and you believe that's why he achieved his dream.

"Come on! We don't have much time," he reminds you.

You scramble to pick up a guitar as he starts playing the intro of the song.

Hyunjin has two guitars, one is looking brand new, a Fender Jaguar in a light turquoise color. The other one is a Fender Telecaster, in a mix of black and ivory color and a little worn.

You choose the latter and carefully pick it up, putting the strap around your shoulder. Hyunjin is tall, you have to adjust the strap to have the guitar ideally positioned for you.

"Turn on the amp," Felix instructs without needing to tell you which button to push because you know.

You push it and as you step back, your finger accidentally brushes the strings and creates a screeching feedback sound.

"Oh, wow, okay, this is legit," you say to yourself in amazement. You haven't played electric guitar for years, it feels strange yet amazing.

"I don't remember the chords," you naively tell him.

"Search it on the internet," he simply tells you with a subtle eye roll.

You pull your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans and search for it fast, putting the phone on top of a tripod while putting your fingers in the right places on the fret and slowly strumming the strings.

It surprises you how much the guitar vibrates not only under your palm but also sends an electric charge all over your body.

The intro only has two chords and you start playing it while slowly strumming the guitar while Felix plays it with his drum on repeat, waiting for you to get ready to start playing the opening.

Felix would understand if you play badly but the anxiety is still there, it's mostly coming from the fear of borrowing Hyunjin's guitar without permission.

"Okay, okay, I got it now," you stutter even though you're not sure you're playing it right. You just wanted to get it done already and not get caught by Hyunjin.

Felix allows himself to move to the next part which consists of intricate drumming which was why he chose to learn this song together with you.

You count the beat to make sure you play at the right time or else, you'll ruin the entire thing. 

Fortunately, the longer you play, the more comfortable it is. Most of it happens because of muscle memory and now, you have to focus on your rhythm. You stand facing Felix to keep up with him.

But this is where it gets tricky, your solo guitar is coming up and you regretted not warming up your fingers.

"Fuck!" You curse out as you missed a chord.

You hear Felix's laugh against the music and making you miss another chord.

"Oh shit!" Another curse slips out of your mouth.

You watch as your finger pads hit the right spot on the fret, doing it so intentionally hard so they sound right.

"Motherf—" you curse again as you're late for the last chord.

You glance up to see Felix is still laughing and you calmed down becase it's time for his drum solo. There's no doubt that he's a rockstar, you see nothing but the glints in his eyes, flickering. His tongue is slightly peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he nods along to every hit of his stick on the drum.

The veins on his arms are evident as his hands gripped the sticks so tightly, a crease formed between his eyebrows as he meticulously hits every note perfectly.

The song is seven minutes long but it feels like an hour. You were nervous earlier but now that you're getting to the last part of the song, you loosen up to enjoy the last bit of it. This would probably be the first and last time you got to play with Feix.

When it finishes, you let out a long, heavy sigh. Your shoulders slump as you take a step back and stop gripping the neck of the guitar.

Felix looks at you and grins, "Told you, it's going to be fun!"

Felix doesn't know that you're sweating all over, you can feel it on your back and neck, strands of hair escaping your ponytail and you brush them to the back to only find your palms are sweaty too.

Despite all that, you nod in agreement.

A wave of applause comes from behind you and you almost jump on your feet in response. You turn around to find Han and Lou, clapping their hands at you.

"Felix, I didn't know you play death metal," Han says in surprise.

"It's actually post-death metal but okay, yeah," Felix nonchalantly says.

"And you..." Han turns to you, "I didn't know you can play guitar so well!"

You nonchalantly shrug, "That was nothing," you playfully say but bragging is not your thing, you bury your face in your hands, cringing.

"No, you're really good. If only Felix told me about you, you would have been our guitarist," he says.

Like it was timed, Hyunjin comes into the studio. Bad news for Han, he doesn't know he's coming from behind him and certainly heard what he just said.

You subtly hinting Han of Hyunjin's presence with your eyes and turn around once he got the signal.

"But of course, Hyunjin is the right pick," Han quickly resolves with an awkward chuckle.

While you use the opportunity to quietly put down the guitar, hoping Hyunjin wouldn't see that your sweaty palms left marks on the neck of his guitar.

When you turn around, you bump into Hyunjin. You make your case real quick, "I'm sorry that I borrowed your guitar—"

He brushes past your shoulder to get the other guitar, "shall we continue rehearsal?" He says with his back facing the room.

Oh great! First day on the job and you're already making an enemy. Well, he's already an enemy but today, he made it clear that he is.

You tiptoe back to the corner of the room but Lou holds his hand up, asking for a high-five from you. You respond with a low high-five and a grin.

As rehearsal continues, you grab your camera to find your hands shaking, not sure if it's from the anxiety or excitement but it's probably a mix of both.

–

Ten minutes to showtime and you stand-by the backstage, waiting for the band to arrive at any second now.

Lou is there with you, noticing that you're nervous even though your job isn't to entertain the thousands of people attending the concert.

He suddenly slaps your back with both hands that your head turns to look at him, "what's that for?"

"To release jitters," he coyly answers.

He turns around and offers his back at you, "Do the same for me!"

You do the same to him, slapping his back with both hands.

"Harder!" He says.

You slap him harder while laughing, "You like that, huh?"

"Oh yeah!" He playfully replies with a loud groan.

Han appears next to you, "I want some of that!"

"Huh?"

He offers his back at you. You hesitated for a bit before landing a firm slap on his back like you did to Lou.

"Yes!" He shouts with a hiss.

Felix saw it and wants one too. The next thing you know, everyone is slapping each other's back in turns. Lou is right, whether it's from the back slaps or not, it helps you relax.

"What are you guys doing?" Hyunjin asks as he's the last one to arrive.

Felix gives him the back slaps and startles him, "You need that!" He tells him with a grin.

Hyunjin looks at him with eyes widened, then that stern look on his face melts into a smile. It's a strange view, him smiling but somehow, it warms you from the inside just from looking at it.

"You ready?" Hyunjin puts his arm around Felix as it's time for a team cheer.

You get your camera ready to capture the moment, it's sad that you can't join but you're shouting with them as they throw their hands in the air.

Unlike the time you watched their show as an attendee, you couldn't enjoy the show fully since you have to put your focus on the job. Not only that you keep your hands steady, holding the camera to capture any moments but also, you have to walk around to get the right angle.

Knowing their setlist, you pick your time right. When it's time for Felix's solo, you stay on the side of the stage and take as many pictures of him with help from Lou.

Hyunjin's solo is coming up soon, you get off the stage to take a spot against the barricade that separated the pit from the stage.

You have your camera bag open next to you, just in case you need to change your lens quickly.

From this angle, you can see how Hyunjin's fingers form a chord on the guitar's fret in a snap. The way his hand grip the neck of the guitar, the way he holds a note long enough it seems like it's vibrating along with him.

The crowd behind you screams louder as Hyunjin takes the front stage as if his guitar playing isn't captivating enough. You take it as a sign for you to get ready to take some snaps and he's... still blinding.

His red hair is fiery just like his guitar performance yet his eyes remain calm and fierce like an animal that has its eyes set on its prey.

The prey is unfortunately you as you can see that his eyes dart to yours as his guitar solo ends. You quickly aim your camera somewhere else, then squat down to change the lens when you feel something hitting your head, something small, and tapping your head softly.

When you touch your head, there's nothing but your hair that turns into a sweaty mess.

Vin takes a quick look at the previews on your camera, assessing your job on the spot. You can't read his expression but he keeps on nodding.

"Send these to the PR!" he orders as he hands the camera back to you.

"Now?" You ask in utter confusion.

"Yeah."

"But I need to retouch them first," you tell him.

He looks at you with a puzzled look, "How fast can you do that?"

"Hours," you answer but that's a rough calculation. With the amount of pictures you took, you need a day to do it.

"Can you get it done tomorrow morning?" He asks with his arms folded on his chest.

You almost let out a gasp at how impossible that sounded but you want to try first, see how far can you handle it because who knows?

"A-alright," you answer with a slight doubt that is hard to miss.

"Just send the good ones and you can send the rest later," he says, probably sensing that he puts too much pressure on you.

"I'll try my best," you tell him.

As soon as you got back to the hotel, you start working on it. Lou orders room service and you end up eating all of his fries.

"You can take the bed, I'll be up all night working," you tell him.

He's more than happy to throw himself onto the bed, playing on his phone for a bit then falls asleep with his face down.

You finish at the crack of dawn, once you clicked send on the email, you're so ready to crawl onto the bed and sleep. You shut down your laptop and silently put everything back into your bag, picking up the toiletry bag remembering that you haven't washed up since you got back from the show.

Slowly, pushing the bathroom door open, Lou's phone blaring next to him. He fumbles to shut it off and you help by turning it off for him.

"Why do you set an alarm so early?" You whisper.

He squints to look up at you and turns over, "we have to pack up," he says.

"Huh?"

"We're getting on the tour bus in an hour," he slurs as he struggles to wake up from the bed.

"What?"

You proceed to wash up but seeing the bed and not being able to lay down is pain, an agonizing pain. Thankfully, you didn't have to run around the room collecting your things because you didn't have time to spend lazing around in the first place.

"You pack your things?" Lou asks as you pile your luggage.

You nod, having no energy left to interact with him.

He softly laughs, "you get on the bus first and have some sleep," he says.

"Can I?"

"Yeah," he shortly answers.

"But my luggage...?"

He looks at you and pleasantly sighs, "I've been taking care of everyone's luggage. I don't think it'd be a problem taking care of another one."

You feel bad you can't help but you'll only burden him more if you do, "Thank you so much!" You tell him with a sincere smile.

It's hard to miss the tour bus when it's that big and shiny, you get on the bus to find the driver greets you.

"Good morning, miss!" He says.

"That's Tim, the driver," Lou introduces from outside the door of the bus.

You introduce yourself back to him with a handshake, "Nice to meet you," you force a smile even though it's hard to do so when you feel like about to faint.

"I'd better get inside I..."

"Sure, you need to rest," Tim kindly says.

You walk further into the bus and stop once you found the sleeping pods. Lou told you to sleep on his bed but he doesn't tell you which one.

They're like bunk beds and there are four of them, the sight of it makes you impatient to sleep. You store your bags in a compartment under the bed and take the one on the bottom.

The curtain gives you not much privacy but you're not going to act like a girl and complain about it. As long as you're comfortable, then all is left to do is close your eyes. 

-

Hyunjin's eyes are still heavy with sleep as he makes his way into the tour bus.

Tim is helping Lou load items of luggage into the bus. Hyunjin raises his hand at him with a sleepy smile on his face before getting into the bus.

He's so ready to sleep some more, he goes straight to the sleeping pods and chooses one on the bottom. He slides open the curtain to only find that's already occupied by someone.

At first, he gets surprised to see someone already on the bus since he's always the first to get there. It must be you yet somehow he gets the urge to take a look.

Quietly, he removes the hair covering your face as you sleep on your side. He immediately retracts his hand as you draw a sharp breath, holding his breath thinking that your eyes would open and find him there, watching you sleep like a creep.

Luckily, nothing happens. You're fast asleep with a hand slipped under your head. With your hair still falling over your face, he continues removing them and safely tucking them behind your ear, holding them there.

Now that he can see you up close and still, he wants to do more than just look, he presses a hand to your cheek, doing it so gently to not wake you up.

You're sleeping so peacefully like dreaming of angels, that makes him smile, puts him at ease.

The sound of someone coming into the bus shatters the moment, Hyunjin takes one last look at your face and reluctantly removes his hand from you.

Closing the curtain without making any noise, then hurriedly dumps his bag on the one across from yours.

"You're always early," Felix says with a grin with his eyes barely open.

"No, I just got here a while ago," Hyunjin lies with a sheepish smile, trying to hide the fact that he almost caught watching you.

"Do you mind if I take your place?" He asks since Felix is the other one who always chooses to sleep on the bottom bunk.

"Huh?" Felix doesn't wait to peek inside to find you sleeping. He lowly gasps and closes the curtain back.

"I'll take this one then," he lowers his voice knowing that you're sleeping, then gently put his bag on the top bunk above yours, 

"Thanks," Hyunjin mutters to him.

As Hyunjin lies down and knows that you're sleeping not far from him, the drowsiness left him and is replaced with something else as the thoughts of you invaded his head.

Not only that he gets to see you in his wake, but as he closes his eyes, he gets to see you too.

-

The bus is not moving.

There are two possibilities: you got woken up after a few minutes of sleep or you have arrived but no one bothers to wake you up and tells you 

Panic, you hurriedly get off your sleeping pod to find the other pods are just as you expected, empty. You pull the hoodie over your head to hide your bedhead and go to the front of the bus.

You see Felix is sticking his head out of the window, laughing. You gently put your hand on his back, "where are we?"

Felix is slightly surprised to see you, you would too if you looked like this.

"oh, babe, you're awake!" He says.

Without warning, he pulls your hand to look at the window. That's when you know the bus is parked at the rest area and from a few meters away, you see Hyunjin and Lou running towards the bus.

"What's going on?" You ask in pure confusion.

Felix goes to the door without answering, "Tim starts the bus!" He orders the driver.

He complies without words and starts reversing the bus out of its parking spot. The loud knocking on the door bus makes you jump on the seat.

Felix goes over to open it, letting both Hyunjin and Lou in. They're panting and laughing at the same time. You don't know what's so funny about it until you see Han is still running from across the parking lot.

But Tim, the tour bus driver, driving the bus on its way back to the highway.

"Yeah, okay, leave me!" Han shouts as he chases after the bus.

"I mean nothing to the band anyway. I'm just the vocalist and the songwriter," he shouts again then immediately gives up running.

It seems like it isn't the first time they did that to him from the way he gave up quickly. Tim hits the brake at Felix's order while Lou hangs in the doorway and laughs at his friend being the victim of the prank.

"oh, don't be so dramatic!" He coos at him.

Han walks to the bus like a sulky three years old, his hands excessively swaying on his sides with his feet stomping the asphalt.

He's mere inches away but Tim teases him by driving the bus away from his reach.

"Tim, I swear, I'm going to—"

Tim laughs despite Han's unfinished threat and this time, he stops the bus, watching as Han gets in with sweat dripping down his neck.

Felix puts an arm around his shoulder, "today's workout is cardio, huh?" He jokes.

You didn't know there was this menace in Felix until now. See? He's not the exact same person as well. You're not the only one changing.

Lou, still laughing, goes to the fridge and takes a bottle of water for him, "you mean everything to the band, of course!" He assures him.

Han slumps on the seat next to you, panting with his mouth open, then leers at you, "Aren't you glad being with us children?"

Aware that you just woke up, you cover your mouth as you burst into laughter. Everyone is still laughing as well, including Tim, who's driving the bus back to the highway. 

And Hyunjin too, as he leans against the cabinet and drinks bottled water.

He's laughing with his eyes forming two crescent moons, very endearing to see.

-

The PR team asking for more individual pictures of the members.

Thankfully, the tour bus is empty since everyone is off to get ready for the soundcheck, making it easier for you to focus on the job.

Your phone buzzed with a new message from Lou.

"The soundcheck is in 5!"

It's obvious you're going to miss it but either this or that, you're doing your job, therefore there's no use to feel guilty about it.

Half an hour later, the email is sent and you get off the bus to get back into the venue to only see a group of people gathering around the back entrance.

Someone noticed that you're not a part of them, easily spotting the ID hanging around your neck which identified you as a part of the staff. The girl breaks away from the crowd to come up to you and it's too late for you to avoid it, she has seen you and vice versa.

"Can you please give this to Han?" She asks, pushing a letter and a little plushie at you.

"Uh..." you stammer, don't know what to do because someone didn't brief you on a situation like this. Maybe because you never thought to ever encounter it.

"Please? Please?" She pleads. The sweat on her forehead shows that she must have been waiting outside long enough, wishing the band would come out and receive their gift.

It's not part of your job desk but you'll feel bad for not helping for something as simple as this.

"Yeah, okay," you relent, taking the gift from her and putting the letter in the pocket of your jacket.

She turns to the other girl next to her, "please give this to Hyunjin too," she pleads.

You glare at her because you think she'd get it that you're only doing it for her and not intending to deliver everyone's gifts.

"Please, don't tell anyone else about this," you scold her as you reluctantly take her friend's gift and hold them close to your chest.

She suddenly grabs your hand and squeezes it hard, "thank you so much. Thank you!"

You hide the gifts behind your jackets before making your way to the back entrance, showing your ID quickly for security to let you in.

Following the signs that lead you to the green room, you get inside to find it still empty except for the stylists who arrange the band's clothes on the railing. The soundcheck hasn't finished yet, it'll be too late for you to get there, the band is probably on their way back here anyway.

Felix and Hyunjin are back a few minutes later. While Felix doesn't wait but to sit on the sofa next to you and rest his head on your lap, Hyunjin is going as far away from you as possible.

You look at the box of gifts from the fans, wondering how you're going to give it to Hyunjin and preferably doing it without anyone else in the room.

"Where were you?" Felix asks, putting your hand in his hair to play with it.

"Had to work and send some more pictures," you shortly reply.

He turns over on your lap, looking up at you with his warm brown eyes and you look back at him. You play connect-the-dots with the freckles on his cheek, lightly touching them with your fingertips.

"You look gorgeous from here," you compliment.

"And you look not bad from here," he compliments back.

You chuckle, knowing well that you must have looked ugly from that point of view. You turn Felix's head to the side and give his hair a ruffle, making it a mess as a way to get back to him.

From your peripheral vision, you see the red of Hyunjin's hair. He is going out of the green room and from what you learn, he likes to take a walk as a part of his pre-concert ritual.

"I have to go to the restroom," you mutter to Felix.

You replace your lap with a cushion and get up from the sofa, not forgetting to take the gift with you as you start jogging to chase after Hyunjin.

He has his headphones on as usual, you learned the hard way to not grab the sleeve of his jacket so this time, you gently tap his shoulder.

He turns around almost immediately, looking slightly surprised to see you.

"I... uhm..." It's hard talking to him when you know you're not going to get the best responses.

You avoid his eyes because they do nothing but make you nervous, "I met one of your fans outside and she wanted me to give this to you," you hand him the little goodie bag with his gift inside.

He only stares at you and not taking the gift from you. You don't want this interaction to last longer than you planned, you told him your intention so you hand him the bag into his hand.

"That's all!" You stammer and turn around on your feet to walk back to the green room.

The urge to look at him takes over you and you eventually give in, looking over your shoulder to see Hyunjin throws the fan gift into the trash bin.

Curious whether the gift is something so repulsively bad that he doesn't think twice to toss it into the trash bin. You peer inside to see a box of chocolate, looks edible and the lid is perfectly sealed.

You would understand if he did that to you, but he did that to his fans?

Hyunjin is so mean.

-

The drama earlier is long forgotten once the concert is done.

You made a run to the tour bus per Lou's instruction, telling you not to exit the building with the band.

You need to work on your pictures anyway, taking out your laptop and begin working in the small booth inside the tour bus.

Two hours passed without you noticing until Tim gets on the driver's side.

"Hey, Tim!" You greet him without looking away from your laptop.

"You're already here?" He asks back as he opens the lid of his giant tumbler and the smell of coffee wafting around the room.

"Mmh. Have to work on these fast!" You shortly reply.

Not long after that, you hear the ruckus from outside the tour bus. You look through the window to see people crowded around the band as they make their way to the bus.

So this is why Lou told you not to get to the bus early. Even with the security guards, people are relentlessly going at them to see or even touch them.

Felix is the first one to arrive, sighing as he safely makes it into the bus.

"Are you okay?" You ask in slight concern.

He grins, "I'm okay," he says.

Lou is the last one to hop on the bus and closes the bus door so Tim can start driving, taking all of you to the next stop.

Before you forgot, you hand the gift from the fan earlier to Lou instead of Han, who goes straight to the back of the bus to rest.

"I got these from the fan earlier for Han," you tell him.

Lou opens the bottom cabinet to put the small plushie into a box full of them. You didn't know they keep them in one place.

"Why?" You innocently ask.

"We don't accept gifts," he simply answers, "but letters are fine," he quickly adds.

"What are you going to do with them?" You sound so sad as if those plushies are living, breathing things.

Lou chuckles seeing your sad face, "We'll donate them," he says.

That's better, you thought.

"But what about food?"

"What food?"

"I received a gift for Hyunjin and it's a box of chocolate, he—" You stop yourself from continuing, not when you know he could hear it.

"Nothing but letters," Lou states.

"Why?"

"Because we don't know what they put in them. For all we know, it could be bad or spoiled. We don't want to risk it so it's better not to take them," he strongly recommends with a squeeze on your shoulder.

"Okay, got it!" You confirmed with a nod.

So, you were wrong to think that Hyunjin is mean. You admit that your prejudice got in the way of what you think of him.

Today's lessons: do not receive gifts and Hyunjin is not mean.

-

Since you're working all night, Lou takes the first turn to sleep in the pod.

You're going there to take your toiletry bag and a charger for your phone only to see Felix's head pop out of the curtain, looking down at Hyunjin's bunk.

"Felix?"

His head snaps in your direction, looking a little flustered as if he just got caught doing something embarrassing.

"Why are you still awake?" He asks when it should be you asking him that.

"I just finished," you reply.

"Ah," he lowly gasps. He realizes that you probably have no place to sleep.

"You can sleep in mine," he offers his bunk for you.

You shake your head, "No, it's okay. Tim is going to stop at a rest area soon. I need to wash up," you tell him.

He immediately climbs down from his bunk, "I'm coming with you then."

No, you're not going to throw a fuss and complain about the toilet inside the bus. It's too small and your claustrophobia doesn't help.

That's why you make good use of these stops to wash up and change your clothes. When you come out, you find Felix has been waiting outside with coffee cups in his hands.

"Want to sit for a bit?" He asks.

"Sure!" You agree because the rest area is empty. There are only a few trucks getting their gas in the station.

The sun will rise soon as you sit on the empty bench, carefully sipping the steaming hot coffee in between. It feels like taking a snooze button after living these past few days in a fast-forward mode. 

"Is it tiring?" You ask.

Felix gets taken aback by your question, "You mean touring?"

You nod, but you mean more than that, being a rockstar and handling the fame that comes with it.

"At times," he honestly answers. He puts down his coffee cup next to him and looks at the sun that gradually rises from the horizon.

"But I know that I'm not doing it for nothing," he adds.

Felix is doing it because it's his dream, he's living his dream and there's no doubt that despite all the exhaustion, he keeps doing it because it makes him alive.

"Babe?"

You turn your head to look at him, "yeah?"

He smiles without saying anything.

"What?" You ask, annoyed that he calls you but not saying anything.

"How did you get more beautiful?"

You snort and sip your coffee, ignoring his cheesy question.

Felix holds your chin and turns your face at him again, "why didn't you look like this years ago?" He asks with his face about to burst into laughter.

You throw a glare at him and sip your coffee again, knowing well that was his intention, to annoy you. He laughs and puts his hand around your shoulder, enjoying the warm, golden rays of the sunrise.

-

You're getting good at it.

Guess, the first time wasn't that successful because you were still nervous. The second time wasn't going that well because you didn't have a good plan.

Now, you know what to do, where to go, when to take pictures.

The only problem is the venue will keep changing and sometimes, the layout of the stages too, so you take time to learn your way around.

They're going back for the encore soon, you hurriedly run to the back and struggle to see what you're stepping on with the lack of lighting.

Afraid that you will miss the moment, you run up the stairs quickly and accidentally slipped on a step. You get that life-flashes-before-your-eyes moment and reel yourself back to reality, running to the side of the stage just in time to catch them entering the stage again.

Hyunjin is still on the side of the stage as Lou fixes his in-ear monitor. You take as many pictures as you can before they start playing the first song on the encore.

Felix keeps the crowd entertained with his solo drumming, you're so immersed in the moment that your back bumps into someone.

You turn around to find Hyunjin, his eyes are staring right into yours.

you see that he's speaking to you but you can't hear what he's saying with Felix intensely banging his drums and you're standing not far from him.

"What?" You mouth to him.

Hyunjin leans closer until his forehead bumps with the side of your face, "your knee is fucking bleeding," he says into your ear.

It doesn't occur to you that your little accident would cause an injury when all you can think about is his hot breath fanning your cheek.

When Hyunjin takes a step back, you finally registered what happened to you and look down to see your knee is indeed bleeding, the blood oozing out of your scraped knee and dribbling down to your shin.

"Oh? I'm sorry," you blurt out and you don't know why you apologize for falling on your knee.

"Here!" Lou is quick to hand you a clean towel.

You waste not another second but put it on the wound while leaning against the railing. You turn to Hyunjin to say thank you this time but he's already back on stage.

In the end, you didn't do well on the third stop. You went to the infirmary to have your knee treated and got it bandaged. You rest for a bit in there with an ice pack to help with the swelling per the doctor's recommendation.

Felix comes into the room looking concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Just a scrape on the knee. No worries," you calmly reply.

"Can you walk?" Felix puts your arm around him as if you couldn't walk on your own.

You slowly pull away from him, "I can walk," you assure him with a light chuckle.

"I'll help you walk to the bus," he insists.

Felix is worried and the only way to put him at ease is by letting him. You forgot about it until you see the group of people gathering around the entrance as the guards open the door.

It's too late to turn away and Felix keeps going despite people starting to crowd around him like moths drawn to flame. The hand holding yours is loosening as a few people got between you.

"Felix?" You call but he surely can't hear you with everyone going at him all at once.

"Felix..." you call him again as you got stuck in the crowd and can't escape it, not to mention, your knee is hurting.

You look around for help but all you can see are the faces of strangers and they're screaming, shouting.

"Felix..." your voice is getting smaller as you got swallowed inside the chaos and no one is there to help you.

-

Hyunjin keeps replaying the moment in his head.

Something about seeing you getting hurt drives him mad and became irrational. Indeed, he can't justify what he did when he could have told you properly, or he could have said nothing but treated your knee.

He could have done better but he chose to be mean.

Hyunjin gets angry when he looks at his reflection in the mirror as he's changing his clothes.

"Where's Felix?" Vin asks, feeling odd about the number of members in the green room.

"I think he went to check on his friend," Lou answers.

But hearing that only makes Hyunjin's chest heaving with anger. His apology wouldn't make you better, you already got Felix anyway, he reckons.

"He's not going back to the bus himself, right?" Vin asks again.

Lou hums in doubt, "I don't... I'll check!"

Hyunjin shouldn't care about it because you're with Felix but something doesn't feel right. He gets out of the changing room and gets his bag from the table.

"You want to get back now?" Han asks him back, still slouching on the sofa with his phone.

Hyunjin doesn't want to waste another second answering Han. As he gets out of the back entrance, his feeling turned out to be right. He can see that Felix is being mobbed by people but what is worse is he can't find you.

Not when there's a lot of people and you're probably in...

He dives right into it, ignoring the people recognizing that it's him and going at him. He scans through the faces and searches for you.

In the middle of it all, he finally sees you, squatting down with your hand covering your head. He rushes to get you up, going against the people turning to come at him.

"It's me!" He whispers close for you to hear.

You look up and he sees those eyes filled with distress, also glassy with tears. He helps you get up and turns around to shield you from the front. He puts your hands on each side of his waist, "Don't let go!"

You nod with your head pushed close to his back.

"Excuse me!" Hyunjin repeatedly tells everyone around him, but they won't hear him, not when all they wanted is to get a piece of him.

"Let us pass, please?" He desperately pleads.

Hyunjin can only go a few steps before the crowd blocks his way again. He grabs your hands to make sure they're still there while he figures out a way to escape this.

"Make way, please!" Someone shouts from behind him.

Lou is gently pushing everyone away to make room for him and Han. Han is getting behind you as Lou is clearing the way to make a path for the three of you.

"Don't worry! I got you!" Hyunjin hears Han softly talking to you as your hands tightly fisting his sweater.

Tim gets off the bus to help Lou, holding off the people from blocking the door of the bus. Hyunjin stops right in the doorway to let you get in first.

Hyunjin gets in after Han with Lou being the last one to get on the bus and closes the door behind him. Yes, he expects nothing in return for what he's done but seeing you end up in Felix's arm...

"Are you okay?" Felix asks as you cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry I let you go," he keeps apologizing to you with his hand gently rubbing your back, "I'm sorry."

Seeing all that, Hyunjin gets it now why: he can't offer the same comfort as Felix does.

Vin comes into the bus looking furious, he orders everyone to sit on the sofa.

"Not you," he points at you, "you can go and have some rest."

"No, I need to work on—"

"You can rest tonight," he insists.

Guess it's the first time you see Vin looking so tense that you comply right away. You reluctantly get up from the sofa but take a stand next to Vin, turning around to face everyone.

Hyunjin's heart skips a beat as your eyes land on him, "thank you," you mutter with your eyes still red.

You turn at Han and Lou next, saying the same thing to them.

"Take care of that knee!" Lou reminds you.

Now that you're gone, all that is left is getting scolded by Vin, but funny that Hyunjin doesn't feel bad about it.

"What did I tell you about not going by yourself—"

Vin's scolding slowly becomes the background noise as Hyunjin only thinks about how you earnestly thanked him, but you did more than just that to him: You acknowledge him.

When he thinks about it, this trouble is worth it now that the two of you are even.

-

The sight of the bed lures you to take a dive and have a quick lay down.

It's a day off and everyone is in their respective hotel rooms, probably doing the same thing as you. You were only on the road for more than two weeks but it's enough lesson to tell you that you took things for granted.

For a blissful moment, you forgot you have a bag of laundry to do. You can't rest knowing that you have chores to do.

You're looking for the nearest laundromat on your phone when Lou comes knocking on the door.

"Thought you're sleeping," he says.

You shake your head, "no, I'm thinking of going to the laundry."

"You can use the hotel's service," he says, grabbing a pair of pants from his duffel bag.

"I know but I want to go just because..." you add a shrug at the end of the sentence.

After he gets out of the bathroom from changing his pants, Lou offers to give you a ride since he needs to do some errands for Vin. He drops you off in a laundromat not far from the hotel.

"Text me when you're done," he tells you.

"Alright!" You reply even though you intend on going back to the hotel yourself.

You bring your laptop with you so you can catch up on some work while waiting for your laundry to be done with a cup of coffee from the vending machine.

You feel normal for the first time and laugh because you didn't think you would miss your mundane life this much. You have some time left while the laundry is in the dryer, you check all of the pictures you took got posted on the band's official website and their social media.

You read the comments and found some that said the photos are so well taken. Now, it feels like your hard work is paid off.

Your phone dings with a new message from Lou.

"Are you done?"

"Almost."

"On the way there," he texts you back a few seconds later.

Packing everything back into your backpack, you get ready to take the laundry out of the dryer and shove them into the bag.

The same car that drove you here stops at the side of the street. Someone rolls down the window but instead of Lou, you find Han.

"Get in, loser!" He tells you with a playful smirk.

"Wow. Never thought you would quote Mean Girls," you mutter then goes to the back of the car to store your laundry bag.

"Felix is not coming?" You ask as you pull open the car door.

"No, he has a doctor's appointment," Lou answers.

Getting into the backseat, you stop for a second after seeing an extra passenger and the last person you expected to sit in the backseat with.

Hesitated whether you should greet him or not, however, your mouth gets ahead of you, "Hey..." You drag the word long enough that it started to sound strange even to you.

"Hey," Hyunjin replies.

Good thing that he wears his hat low like usual you can't see his eyes. You quietly sit next to him and put on your safety belt, as if any loud noise would shatter this peaceful state.

"Where are we going?" You ask Lou.

"We're going shopping!" Han answers the question for Lou as he focuses on driving.

Unlike any other girls, you're not a fan of shopping. You don't like spending time going from one shop to another.

Thankfully, that's not the kind of shopping Han is going for today.

You got cheery as you enter the record store and don't waste time looking around. Han is going through a section not far from yours, you're curious to know what he's getting. From your quick observation, you can see that he's leaning into 90s rock.

"You know the best rock came from the late 60s to early 70s," you lean against the shelf, "I don't even consider anything released above 1973," you add.

Han turns to the next section and starts going through the record one by one with his fingers, "really? Not even Radiohead? Nirvana, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters, Oasis, Blur, Sonic Youth, Pixies, Guns N Roses..." he lists every band that came from that era.

You click your tongue at him and check on the section next to him, "Yeah, okay, 90s is not that bad. They have The Breeders," you weakly agree.

Han turns his head at you, "The Breeders?"

You look back at him in disbelief, thinking he was joking as he looked like he never heard of them before.

"You know Pixies but didn't know The Breeders?" You accidentally raise your voice a little louder that everyone else in the store is turning their heads in your direction.

"I never heard of them!" He innocently answers with a shameless grin.

"Oh, my God!" You groan in disbelief, turning your back on him.

"Kurt Cobain listed their first album as one of his favorite records. They even toured with Nirvana!" You share the facts that you thought were public knowledge until now.

Han is gobsmacked by how passionately you talked to him about a band he never heard of. His mouth hangs open but nothing comes out of it.

It's not enough by telling him, you quickly scan the shelf close to you to find the record that you have in your collection and push it close to his chest.

"Consider yourself lucky!" You tell him with a mad glare.

Han doesn't have any other options but takes it into the pile of records he's going to buy. You're going the other way to start looking for records to buy as well.

You see Lou is checking some new releases and listening to it through the headphones provided at the station.

Hyunjin is... you don't even want to try to search for him. The last time he was with you, you were a crying mess and you made the back of his sweater damp with your tears. It wasn't a pleasant moment to remember even for you, you're certain it's the same for him.

-

Hyunjin has been watching you from afar but he can't help but to come near you. It's as if your magnetic field gets stronger each and every day, he has no power to resist it anymore.

He pretends to look through the section across from you, his back and yours only separated by a mere void he does not dare to cross, yet.

"Oh! Beatles!" You gasp.

Hyunjin looks over your shoulder thinking that you notice him there and talking to him but no, you're talking to yourself while reading the track list on the back.

You start singing the track one by one like a jukebox and Hyunjin silently chuckles at how adorable you sound, so oblivious to his presence, so cute, so...

"I'm going to buy this!" You suddenly say.

Hyunjin has to make sure that yes, you're talking to yourself again.

"You're coming with me too!" You say again.

Hyunjin freezes on his feet thinking he got caught this time but no, you said that as you take another record in your arms and hold it close to your chest like a little child about to pay for her toys.

He gets behind you in the queue to see what you're getting. Leonard Cohen, The Beatles, and The Velvet Underground.

That's not a coincidence, right? You like the same music that he likes, that must mean something. Or he's just way over his head.

"Hey, can I get your autograph?" Someone who stands behind him asks with a Ssick album in his hand. The other one is staring at him with wide eyes, not blinking.

Hyunjin gets a grasp of reality, he clears his throat before answering, "Sure, wait," he looks around for a pen.

Just like you read his mind, you borrow a pen from the cashier and hand it to him, "Here!"

"Thanks," Hyunjin mutters, not looking at you because he knows what it does to him.

Hyunjin bites the pen between his teeth and pulls the pen out of its cap, placing a big sign on the cover.

"You guys have paid for this, right?" He jokingly asks as he caps the pen back.

They laugh at the same time, shaking their head in embarrassment.

"This one on me then," Hyunjin kindly says.

Han comes from behind, surprising them with his presence,

"You guys don't want one from me too?"

Hyunjin laughs and turns around to find you're no longer standing close to him.

On the way back to the hotel, Hyunjin puts his headphones on but not playing anything. He knows you're uncomfortable sharing the backseat with him and this way, he can listen to you humming to And I Love Her.

-

It's a little embarrassing to drag your laundry bag to the hotel room but thankfully, Lou doesn't mind helping you.

"You know, you should think of minimizing your luggage," he comments.

You push the button to your hotel floor, "But what if—"

"If you ever run out of clothes, there's always the merch," he cuts you off with the simplest of answers.

You hate to admit that Lou is right, but you've been wearing almost the same thing every day: jeans and a T-shirt. In fact, you've worn your denim shorts to the point that they started to take the shape of your body.

"Also, we're going on the plane after this one," he adds, sipping his almost empty iced coffee.

You almost forgot that the band is going abroad for a summer festival. It seems like you're staying busy even on your day off. However, Felix comes knocking on your door as you're about to start sorting things you want to keep and don't.

"Come and play with me!" He whines the second you open the door for him.

"I have things to do," you sadly tell him.

He pouts, "You guys left me shopping this afternoon and now you don't want to play with me?"

You look back at the stacks of luggage you need to sort, honestly, you don't want to do that today, not on a day off.

"Okay, okay," you instantly cave in.

Felix ordered a lot of food to his room you wonder if the two of you can finish all this. Shouldn't have said that because he ate most of it.

"Heard you got a doctor's appointment today?"

Felix puts the food wrappers into a plastic bag while you wipe the table clean with napkins.

"Yeah, I might have strained my back muscles or something," he vaguely explains like that doesn't concern him at all.

When he should be concerned, a drummer uses those muscles and he has probably been drumming in pain, but not telling anyone.

"That sounds serious," your voice is heavily tinted with worries.

"Don't worry, babe!" He assures you with a low laugh.

You grab his elbow to force him to look at you, "no, I'm very worried and you should too," you tell him.

He takes your hand and holds it close with his, "promise you that I'm taking care of myself well," he promises.

You shot him a doubting glare, "promise?"

"Promise!"

The night continues with him insisting on watching a movie together, you both get on the bed and arguing which movie to watch. Felix ended up getting the privilege to choose and he picked a rom-com.

"We should watch horror or thriller," you tell him.

"Ugh, no!" He strongly resists.

You chuckle because you know he doesn't like scary movies, "grow up, Felix!" You tease.

You hurriedly hide behind the duvet as he throws his arm around you, nuzzling his nose in your hair. You're laughing while he playfully tries to take a bite off your head.

"You're lucky I washed my hair this morning," you tell him.

He stops smelling your hair but draws you closer, letting you rest your head on his chest.

"Yeah, it smells good," he doesn't hesitate to take another whiff.

"I'm Lou's shampoo," you share.

"I need to know what it is," Felix says as he continuously smells your hair and without warning, places a kiss on the top of your head.

With the way Felix holds you, you feel warm and snug, not forgetting you're full with the amount of food you ate earlier. Next thing you know you can't barely keep your eyes open anymore.

"Do you mind if I close my eyes for a bit?"

"You can stay," he casually answers, slipping his hand into your hair.

"Promise I'll go back to my room later..." you tell him with eyes close and slowly, drifting into sleep.

-

Hyunjin has been looking for his notebook.

It's where he wrote all of his ideas from chords, melodies, pieces of lyrics, and even his personal thoughts. The last time he got ahold of it is when he almost left it on the tour bus and Felix got it from him, but his hands were full at that time so he offered to keep it for him.

It's only a little after midnight, Felix is usually still awake at this hour, playing video games or watching movies.

"Felix? It's me," Hyunjin says, just in case Felix is wondering who's knocking on his hotel room.

A while later, Felix opens the door for him with his hair tousled but his eyes are wide awake, "yeah, what's up?"

"You're not sleeping, are you?" He asks because he'd feel bad for disturbing his rest.

Felix aggressively shakes his head, "no, I was watching a movie," he answers.

Hyunjin is right. There's no way he sleeps this early. Before he forgot why he came here, he asks, "I believe you have my notebook?"

Felix scratches the back of his head then opens the door wider, "Yeah but... come in, first!"

Hyunjin steps into the room expecting nothing but the same setup of a messy bed and clothes strewn out of his suitcase.

"I forget where I put it so it'll take time for..." Felix starts digging into his bag to look for Hyunjin's notebook.

A rom-com movie is paused on the TV screen as Hyunjin walks further and yes, there's the same setup except that he has someone on the bed, sleeping.

"Who—" Hyunjin, fortunately, didn’t have to finish his words when he recognizes the clothes, the same ones you were wearing from earlier.

Felix notices that Hyunjin sees you on his bed, "we were watching a movie together and she uh..." he hands Hyunjin his notebook back.

Hyunjin immediately looks away as he takes his notebook back from Felix, "thanks," he mutters.

He doesn't waste another second to get the hell out of there.

"You're going?" Felix asks as if Hyunjin wants to spend another second seeing you sleeping on his bed.

"Yeah, I just need my..." Hyunjin stops himself from talking so much.

"Goodnight, Felix!" He ends it there and walks away.

Felix looks rather sad seeing him leave, he lingers by the doorway as Hyunjin walks to his hotel room, "Goodnight!" He finally says back.

As he sits alone in his hotel room, Hyunjin opens a new page in his notebook and writes:

"I wish you were just a stranger."

-

The next morning, Lou comes to his room to make sure he's awake for a radio interview.

"Yeah, coming!" Hyunjin weakly replies as he packs things into his bag.

He gets out of the room and can't help but think of last night as he has no other way but to pass Felix's room. His heart drops as Felix comes out of his room and he's just as surprised, glad even.

"Morning!" He says.

"Hey!" Hyunjin coyly replies.

He sees Felix shoves his keycard into his jacket pocket but does that mean you're not in his room? He can't be so sure but at the same time, he doesn't want to put so much energy into this. He shouldn't even think about it at all.

"If you can give one essential item to each other what will it be?" The radio host asks such a deep question for a morning show that starts at 7 am and Hyunjin only had half cup of coffee so far.

But since no one is ready with an answer yet, Hyunjin volunteers to be the first to give his answer.

"I want to give Felix confidence," he speaks into the mic.

Felix looks at him with glints of curiosity sparked in his eyes, a hand propped under his chin.

"Felix is much more cooler and skillful than he thinks so... I want to give him more confidence," Hyunjin perfectly explains.

A smile rises on Felix's face and that's why Hyunjin gets this sense of needing to protect him. Felix is pure and innocent, he's too kind and everyone knows what the world can do to someone like him.

"I want to give Hyunjin love," Felix surprisingly remarks.

Everyone inside the studio puts their attention on Felix as he straightens his back on his seat, "since love seems to be an important emotion for Hyunjin."

Felix leans closer to his mic and stacks his hands together on the table, "The more you have, the more you can conquer pain, that's why I think love is important and necessary."

Hyunjin smiles at Felix's sincere and warm words, it's in a moment like this that he feels deeply connected to a person more than anyone that it almost feels like a family.

When he thought Felix has done talking, he continues speaking, "I can lend it to him for a long time. He doesn't even have to return it."

As expected, Felix knows how to win people over with his sincerity which offers the opposite charm to his outer appearance. Hyunjin is grateful that he got to know Felix because he's one of the rare ones.

"Well, those two are giving each other essential items so that leaves me having to give myself an essential item," Han says, feeling left out because Hyunjin and Felix are taking everyone's attention.

Everyone has a good laugh at him and Han laughs at himself at well.

"It's because our Han already has everything," Felix indirectly compliments and at the same time, comforting him with gentle taps on his shoulder.

See? Hyunjin wants to put Felix in a glass case and protect him. He's just that precious.

The day drags on and that's weird. It's usually going by so fast but it's only one in the afternoon and he's at the soundcheck. He looks around not sure what he's looking for. He knows what or to be exact who he's looking for but doesn't want to admit it.

Without him realizing it, he starts to play the guitar solo of The Beatles' And I Love Her on his guitar.

When he turns around to start the soundcheck, he sees you standing on the pit, with your camera aimed at him.

-

Should you be suspicious that your day so far is going as planned?

Your luggage is completely sorted and you send half of your things to your mom's house. You found ideal angles as you walk around the venue and you got there in time for the soundcheck.

Can tonight be a successful one? You wonder.

They're still checking their instruments as you take your place down the stage, just behind the pit just to get new angles because you usually take them right on the stage.

As you check on your camera settings, you hear Hyunjin playing a song with his guitar. A song that you know and have been singing lately.

You look up and take a good listen to what he's playing. It's true, he's playing the guitar solo from the song. It's one that you've been humming.

"Let's start!" Han announces as they finish checking their instruments.

Hyunjin turns around and stops turning as he spots you there, your eyes automatically locked as if the two of you have been trying to get on each other's radar.

It's a popular song, Hyunjin could have heard the song somewhere or it's just a song that randomly pops in his head but you can't help but think that he heard you humming in the car.

You look away first and turn away to go somewhere, bumping into Vin backstage.

"What a coincidence!" He exclaims.

"We need to talk," he says with a serious face.

Vin has that undeniable charisma, one that screams authority and when he talks, he only talks of important stuff. Well, that's your impression of him so far.

And those four words sound scary that you get anxious.

Vin orders you to follow him, back to the hallway where it's quieter.

"The PR wants you to take pictures from the stage," he says.

You're still tense even though he's not saying you got fired or your work is terrible. He's merely telling you to start taking pictures on stage.

"You mean like... shot them right on stage?"

"Yes."

"Can I even do that?"

Vin rubs his chin spiked with stubble, "2-3 minutes are enough, right?"

"So I can do that—" you stammer because you've been trying to ask about it whether you can take a closer shot of the band right on stage.

"Pick your time and coordinate it with Lou," he instructs you and giving you no chance to ask further about it.

Can this day get more suspicious? Ah, maybe you shouldn't be overthinking it. Maybe the universe is giving you a chance to truly show him what you are capable of.

"I need you to do that thing again," you say to Lou.

"What?" He asks in confusion.

You turn your back at him so he can land a slap on your back to release jitters. He laughs before giving you what you want, gentle slaps on your back.

"No need to worry much. I'll help you," he assures you.

You choose to get on stage during the second part of the concert, right after the first part where you know the crowd goes the wildest for their hit song.

Three minutes should be enough, you're going to get there and take as many pictures as possible.

At the appointed time, Lou is giving you the green light to proceed. The plan is he's going to help you navigate on stage but something comes up, Han suddenly asks Lou for the other bass.

You're already on stage and they're already playing the intro even without Han on there. You quickly walk around just close enough to take pictures of Felix and turn to Hyunjin next.

The limited time only reminds you to keep going and three minutes are up, taking a step back, your foot got caught in cables and accidentally unplug Hyunjin's guitar in the process, cutting him off midsong.

You almost stumble backward but a hand grabs your elbow so hard, preventing you from falling on stage.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Hyunjin shouts right to your face.

"I'm so sorry," you meekly say.

Lou drags you back to the side of the stage, knowing that you just caused a technical failure. Good thing that the crowd doesn't boo you or worst, blame the band.

Is this why things have been going well? Because it wants to strike when you least expect it.

It's getting worse because Vin says nothing when you came to him with a sincere apology, he only tells you to get back to the green room right after the concert. You'd rather have him scold you or even cursed you for doing such a shitty job than got nothing but a disappointed look on his face.

You're on the verge of crying but with all the staff still roaming around, you hold it in. The last thing you can do from this day going far shittier than it already did is letting people know you have a very shitty day.

"You okay?" Felix asks in concern even though he just got off the stage and sweat still dripping down his neck.

The sight of him only makes it hard for you to keep it in, you go in for a hug and cry into his chest.

"It's okay, it's okay," he comforts you while his hand softly patting your back.

"It's just one song. No one will notice," he tells you.

The more he tries to comfort you the harder you cry. You don't know what would happen if you were working for any other band and there's no Felix in it, you would be miserable. The only reason you got through everything is because of Felix.

You stay quiet as you sit in the back of the van with Felix, still upset at yourself for what you've done tonight. Tears just won't stop flowing out of you and you keep wiping it with the back of your hands.

"Let's just have fun tonight, huh?" Han suddenly comes up with an impulsive idea.

"Let's just go somewhere," he says without waiting for everyone's approval.

Lou tells the driver to change the destination, sending the van going in the opposite direction of the hotel.

Felix puts his jacket on you as you step out of the van since you're only in your t-shirt and denim shorts, "stop crying, babe," he tells you, gently wiping your wet cheeks with his knuckle.

You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, also you're going somewhere and you don't want to be seen as if you've just uncontrollably sobbed from a bad day at work even though that's what happened.

"Get us a room!" Han tells Lou as everyone arrived at a place with dim lighting.

It's when you arrived in the room you realize that it's a karaoke room. Han doesn't wait but starts choosing songs to sing as if he hasn't sung enough for the night.

Bottles of drinks got sent into the room not long after and everyone starts drinking. Not going to lie, this is exactly what you need: a lot of alcohol and no one is stopping you, guess they know how much you needed it.

It doesn't take long until you start loosening up, picking up a mic to sing a song with Felix. A song that you both know well enough and forget what happened that day as you sing your heart out.

Soon, everyone has forgotten all about it. Everyone is having fun and that includes Hyunjin. Seeing him reminds you of how bitterly he snapped at your face earlier, you understand that he was mad for what you did but still... you thought things are going well, until tonight.

"Thank you," you tell everyone at the end of the song, aware that they're coming here without Vin's permission. It's unclear the reason why they came here out of a whim or maybe they tried to make you feel better, either way, you're grateful that they're in the room with you.

"Thank you," you say again and about to burst into tears again.

"Lou, pour her a glass, quick!" Han tells him.

The night continues with more glasses of alcohol taken and songs being sung in gibberish words. You stop drinking knowing that if you take another one, it will be the end of it.

Lou and Hyunjin are the ones still sober enough to help walk heavily drunk Felix and Han out of the building even though you drank more than both of them.

"Can you walk?" Lou asks.

You hold your thumbs up at him despite feeling like the floor is about to swallow you whole.

It's quiet again inside the van but this time it's because everyone is too intoxicated to talk. Hyunjin volunteers to take Felix back to his room and get on the elevator first.

Lou is having a hard time taking Han by himself, you help as much as you can while carrying the bags with you.

Inside the elevator, you put your hand in the pocket of Felix's jacket to find his keycard inside. You want to go back to your hotel room quickly but Felix and the other members are staying on the upper floor.

"Felix's keycard," you innocently show Lou Felix's hotel room keycard.

Lou softly chuckles, "I bet they're struggling to get inside his room right now."

Once the elevator arrived on their floor, you're going to the right while Lou is going the other way since Han's room is at the other end of the hall.

You see Hyunjin comes out of his room and probably takes Felix there because you have his keycard. He's about to walk in your direction, you don't know why but you hurriedly hide in the hallway, out of his sight.

You shut your eyes tight as you hear his footsteps closing in, hoping he would pass you without knowing you're there, hiding like a coward.

But that's not what happens, he knows you're there.

You take a step back and lean against the wall, pulling Felix's keycard out of the jacket pocket.

"Here!" You hold it out at him while avoiding his eyes.

But instead of taking it, he takes a stand in front of you and looks down at you with eyes that are so intimidating, making you feel smaller than you already are.

"Just take the damn keycard," an annoyed sigh might have slipped past your mouth when you said it.

What Hyunjin does is take a step closer to you, sending you into a fight-or-flight situation. You think fast about which one you should act upon. Fight or flight?

But first, you dare to look up at him and find his eyes intensely staring right into yours. They're only eyes, you can surely win this fight, you reckon.

"Why do you hate me so much?" You blurt out.

It's the alcohol of course, there's no way you can boldly ask him such a question when you're sober.

"Tell me why? Because I don't get it. Why did I do to you that makes you hate me so much?" You lay your hands flat against the wall as you maintain eye contact with him.

"I'm drunk, you see? You can tell me anything and that's okay, I won't remember it when I wake up in the morning," you slur.

Hyunjin holds his gaze steady and with the same intensity, you don't know how he does that, he's so beautiful that it's intimidating.

"Go ahead! Tell me! Promise I'd forget all about it tomorrow," you encourage him more by widening your eyes even though your sanity slips away as every second pass.

It's getting eerily quiet and Hyunjin remains silent still. You let out a low sigh and be the one to break the eye contact when all of sudden, he crashes his lips with yours.

His hand found your jaw and holds you still, he places his other hand on the nape of your neck so he can easily angle you to deepen the kiss.

His lips... as soft as you can imagine and tastes so sweet, gently brushing over yours like melting ice cream. His tongue swiftly parts your mouth open, invading your mouth to get as much taste as he can.

A low moan escapes your mouth as he drops his hand to the arch of your back, drawing your body closer to him. In no time, your bodies mold into each other like they're two missing pieces perfectly put together.

Hyunjin kisses you so passionately but at the same time, holding you so gently like you would break if he holds you too hard.

On the other hand, you're confused by this. He's been playing with your feelings without you realizing it, at times he can be so nice then he turns mean, hot, and cold, it's always unpredictable weather with him.

Now, he's kissing you and making the butterflies in your stomach fluttering awake, stirring chaos inside you. But if it's time for you to die, you wouldn't mind because it's the best way there is to go.

Hyunjin suddenly pulls away and his hands pushing you away until your back hits the wall, somehow your eyes dart at his lips, red and glistening wet like one ripe apple, tempting you to have another bite at it.

But he puts a space by having you pinned against the wall with his hands grabbing each side of your shoulders, his smoldering eyes bore into yours, then he says,"Now, try to forget that!"

And just like that, he walks away, leaving you reeling with the taste of his lips lingering in your memory.

Now, how can you forget that?

-

Support my blog by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!

taglist: @abiaswreck @septicrebel @cursed-mars-bars @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @tangylemonade @bluenights1899 @thisisnotstraight88 @elizalabs3 @avyskai @is2cb97 @simeonswhore @marvelous-llama @linovely @jisungsleftcheek @hanjisbeloved @luvsskz @knowleeknow @army-stay-noel @djeniryuu @bigsobs4skz @phobia0325 @channies-luv @foxinnie8 @biribarabiribbaem @dalamjisung @moasworld @sherryblossom @fawnpeaks @lukeys-giggle @downbadreading @yubinism @notmebutyouu @hyvnjinhours @weak4skz @143hyunes @julciaqwerty @insomnic-maniac @m3tavita @hanniesss @dreamingsmile @imzenning @analovegirl

[xyuna0]

Part 9

Characters: Hyunjin x Female reader.

Genre: | Obsessive!Hyunjin |

Warnings: Smut | Swearing | alcohol | dominant sexual behavior |

Summary: After Chan and Hyunjin argue about the room situation, Y/N tells Hyunjin she’s not leaving with him. Tension fills the house as Chan tries to make things right between him and Hyunjin.

—————————————————————————————

After the incident in the kitchen with Hyunjin, everyone went about their day. Hanging out by the lake, putting their stuff away, getting dinner ready.

I’m standing in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner when Chan walks in coming from upstairs. “Y/n, I need to talk to you.” He says, sitting on one of the bar stools at the kitchen bar. “What’s up?” I ask with a smile. “I think Hyunjin has a problem.” He states, nothing but seriousness in his voice. “Problem?” I ask, confused. “Yeah, a problem. Every time it comes to you, it’s like a switch flips inside his brain and he just becomes the biggest asshole in the world.” He says. I hum, not really knowing what to say. “Is he like that with you? Does he flip out on you like that?” He asks. “Uhh.. not necessarily. He got mad at me the night Minho kissed me, but he apologized and said he was in the wrong. He said he blamed it on the wrong person.” I say, putting the the lid on the container of food I finished. “I can understand him being upset about that situation, but the way he acted toward me yesterday… that was uncalled for.” He says, running his hand through his hair, letting out a sigh.

“Chan, I really am sorry. Maybe there’s something going on that he’s not telling anyone about? Maybe he just needs to talk.” I say, trying to think of anything that would be bothering him. “Do you think I should talk to him?” Chan asks. “That is totally up to you.” I say, sticking the Tupperware in the fridge. “Where is he at?” He asks. “Last I knew, he was down by the lake with Felix” I say, shrugging my shoulders, grabbing a knife out of the drawer to cut up the vegetables.

•

Chan makes his way down to the lake, spotting hyunjin sitting in the grass with Felix. “Hyunjin, can I talk to you for a second?” Hyunjin stands up, telling felix he’d be right back. Chan leads hyunjin back into the house, making their way to the sun room and making themselves comfortable on the couch. “What do you want to talk about?” Hyunjin asks, crossing his arms and legs on the couch. “What’s going on with you.. that’s what I want to talk about.” Chan says.

“What is there to talk about?” Hyunjin asks. “Your behavior when it comes to y/n.” He states. “What are you talking about?” “I’m talking about how crazy you become when it comes to her!” Chan exclaims. “Crazy? You think I’m crazy, because I don’t want her sleeping in the same room and the guy who made a move on her?” Hyunjin chuckles. “It was a prank, hyunjin!” Chan yells. “I don’t give a fuck if it was a prank Chan! What if I went and kissed your fucking girl and told everyone ‘it was just a fucking prank’ huh?” He yells back.

•

I heard the two arguing from the kitchen and make my way to the sun room where they are. “Hey, let’s cool down for a bit? Yeah?” I say softly to hyunjin, walking up behind him and rubbing his shoulders. “I want to leave y/n..” he whispers. “You’re not leaving hyunjin, I’m just not understanding why you feel this way. You said you forgave Minho, so why do you have such a problem with it?” Chan asks. “Why are you so persistent that Minho and I share a room anyway?” I ask Chan. He stays silent. “Yeah, that’s a good question baby.” Hyunjin says, staring at Chan with a questioningly look. “Felix and Ash are sharing a room. Why can’t we just sleep where ever we want? We’re not children.” I state. “Fine, whatever. Everyone just do whatever the fuck they want.” Chan says, getting up and going back outside.

I sigh, rubbing my temples with my fingers. “Let’s just go.” I whisper. Hyunjin turns around and looks up at me from the couch. “What?” He asks. “Let’s go, grab your shit. I want to leave, I’m done with this.” I say. He nods, getting up and heading toward the bedroom to grab his stuff.

“Where are you guys going?” I heard ash’s voice from behind me, causing me to jump. “I- ummm.. we’re leaving.” I say quietly. “Youre leaving?” She squeals. “Yeah, I think we just need a break from some things. Chan and hyunjin aren’t getting along.” I say with a sigh. “Is it because of the room situation?” Felix asks, walking up behind ash. I nod. “You do know Chan has a crush on you right?” Felix laughs. “He what!” I say a bit too loudly for my liking. “He’s trying to get you away from Hyunjin. I told him it was a bad idea.” Felix says, shrugging his shoulders.

“Who has a crush on her?” We all look over and see hyunjin standing in the doorway, hold his bags.

Our eyes go wide before ash let’s out a “oh shit.”

—————————————————————————————

To be continued…

Tag list: @mimihwang248 @armystay89 @berryberrytan

[xyuna0]

HELLO STRANGER. MASTERLIST.

pairing: minho ft. hyunjin x fem!reader genre: smut, angst, fluff, soulmate!au. enemies to lovers. jealousy. pining. unrequited love. content: 18+ minors dni. warnings before each chapter. word count: currently 20k

summary: after watching everyone around you pair off with their soulmate, you finally get your turn. a slow burn strangers to enemies to lovers soulmate!au with jealousy and angst and smut and suffering (and softness ofc).

Keep reading

[xyuna0]

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 16<-

Part 17

Pairing: Felix x reader; Hyunjin x reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: 18+, Under 18 DNI!, Smut, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, oral (m receiving), thigh riding, pet names

Word Count: 2.5k

Note: A little bit of Hyunlix to spice up your day. Hope you like it! <3

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

A pleasant smell surrounded you like a cozy mist and pulled you back to sleep again. It reminded you of a warm summer day with notes of lemon and citrus. Images of fresh fruits, orange blossoms, and sea sounds automatically appeared in your head.

When you manageed to slowly open your eyes you found yourself in Chans Studio, something warm and really good smelling beneath you.

The first thing you could sense were the clicking sounds of the computer keyboard, that you heard a lot around the boys. Even if your vision was still blurry, you could see Chan sitting at his computer from behind with big headphones on. Just like Changbin across the room.

Then you realised that the comfortable pillow beneath you moved and suddenly your eyes found Felix pretty face, who has wrapped both arms tightly around your upper body and looked at you dreamily with his beautiful eyes.

"Hey"

His deep voice sent a quiver through your body and overwhelmed you just could blink at him. He smiled softly and brushed a strand of hair out of your face. His other hand rested on your hip, while you lay between his legs, your head on his chest.

"What happened?", you asked sleepy and you couldn't get up. Felix' body heat and his mere presence kept you pressed tightly against him.

"You fell asleep on me while working and I didn't want you to wake up."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, sweetheart. You looked actually adorable, right Chan?"

Chan turned in his seat and smiled brightly at the two of you.

"Yes babe. You two looked too cute snuggled up against each other."

Your cheeks got immediately pink and you hid your face in the crook of Felix neck. His fingers traced slowly up your spine and you snuggled even closer to his chest. As you looked up, you could see his beautiful freckles and his cute smile, while he watched you like he has never seen anything more beautiful.

"Do you know, that your eyes look like jewels?", he asked suddenly and you couldn't help but smile. It sounded like a serious question and the way he drew his eyebrows together, you could tell he meant it honestly.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are the cutest person in the world?", you replied and enjoyed how his fingers roamed under your top over your ribs up to the edge of your bra.

"Ay I heard that!", Changbin shouted from his place, but as you looked at him, you saw a warm smile on his face.

Felix blushed and tried to avoid your gaze. At that moment you realised that he didn't even know how much he actually meant to you. That he constantly gave you strength and reliability. He was more caring and loving than anyone in your life before and brightened your day every time just with a smile or small gestures.

"Lixie, please look at me!", you whispered carefully and his eyes wandered around your face, like he was afraid to drive you away.

"Don't say such things to me...,” he said softly.

"Why?"

"Because I don't deserve someone as kind and beauti..."

Before he could finish the sentence, you had pressed your lips to his. His hands flew to your sides and he froze in shock before slowly moving his lips against yours. He tasted like honey and freshly ripened peaches. Like a sunset at the sea.

He pulled you even closer and deepened the kiss. Slowly he entered your mouth with his tongue and your whole body just felt warm and secure in his arms.

The kiss was hungry and eager, you used more pressure than necessary as you licked into his mouth like you wanted to devour him. The low moan he let out only seemed to spur you on.

It lasted forever and you still couldn’t let go of each other. Like two addicts you were glued together, kissing and your body curved perfectly into his. Your tongues explore each other's mouths, and his touch sent little surges of electricity through your body wherever his fingers touched your bare skin. His hands pushed your top up to touch your skin all over your back and stomach, until he slipped his fingers under the fabric of your bra.

Your heart pounded like a drum and you got dizzy just by his smell.

That's when you got an idea of how you could show Felix all that he deserved. With a glance at Chan and Changbin, you made sure they were engrossed in their work. Both of them had loud music on their ears by now and couldn't hear a thing. So you pushed Felix's shirt up and looked at his defined abs. The mere sight of his seductive upper body sent heat between your legs and you were eager to finally be able to feel what had been pressing hard against your lower abdomen all along.

Small gasps escaped him as you began to kiss his abs and run your tongue over his warm skin. His stomach muscles automatically tensed under your touch and his cute little noises only encouraged you.

Agonisingly slow you stroked your fingertips over his ribs, along his sides and over the waistband of his jeans. To tease him a little, you drove your hands into his waistband and gave a little pressure with your chest on his growing bulge.

Felix watched you stunned and had to restrain himself from pressing his hips against you.

"What are you doing?", he asked breathlessly, and could only stare at you sitting between his legs with those big eyes and seductive lips.

"Relax, Lixie. I want to make you feel good."

Meanwhile the poor boy was just melting into the couch. Your hands slid over his thighs and he couldn't believe it was really happening. Almost every night he dreamed of you. Especially of your full lips, which he could look at for hours and imagined countless times, wrapped around his dick

"The hyungs are here, we can't...", he whispered to you again.

"We can't what, Felix?", you whispered back innocently, your thumb now rubbing circles near his bulge.

"Isn't that what you wanted, Lix?"

He whimpered quietly, as you licked your lips in excitement. You were moving your thumb in circles, so that it was only slightly touching the now awfully large tent in his pants.

He nodded with gritted teeth.

Then you suddenly pulled away giving him a smirk while opening the buttons and tugging on the waistband of his jeans, pulling them down with his underwear.

The definition of above-average length jumped free and you never saw such a beautiful dick. Of course it was. Everything about Felix was beautiful.

Almost in pain, he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth to keep from moaning loudly as you wrapped your fingers around his member. You slowly started stroking him and he looked like a fallen angel with the desperate expression on his face.

He gasped as you gripped a little tighter. You licked the bit of precum from the tip and he groaned again and his deep voice vibrated in his belly. Then, you made slight tooth contact with his skin, before you wrapped your lips tightly around his length. The more he whimpered and moaned the more you intensively moved your head along his length.

He gently brushed a strand of hair from your forehead as you sucked him off, before he gave in and reached into your hair to press you harder onto his dick.

He could no longer hide how much your mouth and the little gags turned him on and he buckled his hip against your face, relentlessly pushing his throbbing dick down your throat, until tears spilled form the corners of your eyes.

"Fuck... Your mouth feels so amazing...", he growled as deep, as you have never heard from him. He looked down at you and fucked into your mouth, much less gentle than you knew him to be. This dominant side of him, excited you as well and so you bobbed your head faster around his throbbing cock, until he reached the back of your throat.

Messy wet sounds came from your mouth and he was close. Your saliva has coated his length from base to tip, making your mouth glide over him smoothly. You felt his body tense, although he really tried holding back and savor every second of your seductive warm mouth. You sucked even harder and it punched out a strangled moan from him as you massaged his length with your tongue.

"So pretty”, he moaned, as he was thrusting harder into your mouth, holding a rough grip of your hair. You could feel yourself getting wet while he was fucking into your throat. You were incredibly turned on, but you ignored it. This wasn't about you and the fact that Hyunjin still had your panties made it worse.

As you gagged around him, his breathing became more raspy and he began twitching inside your mouth.

"You're so good for me... Can I come into your mouth, angel?", he asked panting and you nodded quickly.

With a snap of his hips he pushed you onto his dick once more and came into your throat with a desperate whimper. You swallowed it all and clawed at his thigh until he let go of you and you could catch your breath.

He pulled you up to him again and kissed you passionately. You could feel his rapid heartbeat with your hands on his chest, melting in his arms. This time his hands were faster on your ass, kneading it greedily. He rubbed his still semi-hard dick between your thighs, putting direct pressure on your bare clit, making you sigh softly.

“No panties?”, he asked with raised eyebrows and started rubbing his dick between your thighs, directly onto your clit.

“Lix, please. Need to feel you”, you whimpered and pressed your forehead to his neck, as he buckled his hips further between your thighs. You wanted him inside you so bad and without any panties on, it would be easy to just slip his dick inside your soaking cunt.

"Just to be clear: If you fuck on my couch, you clean up afterwards too!"

Chan's voice teared you out of your own world and you two looked at him with red cheeks and heavy breathing. Felix quickly pulled his pants back up and didn't dare to look at the leader.

While you and Chan grinned slightly at each other, Felix buried his face in your neck and whined embarrassed:

"How did you even notice?"

Changbin crossed his arms behind his head and said:

"Computer screens reflect, Yongbok... And your desperate whining could not be overheard."

So they had seen everything, how you made him a mess just with your sweet mouth and almost fucking you. Felix's face turned red up to his ears and he would have loved to sink into the ground.

But Chan and Changbin looked at each other like proud big brothers.

Randomly you read the time on Chan's laptop.

"Shit how long did I sleep?"

"Maybe an hour?", Changbin answered.

"Fuck!", you shouted and jumped up, fixing your skirt.

"Lee Know has a photoshoot in an hour. Wasn't he here?"

"Not yet. He wanted to discuss the choreography for the last song first. I think he is still with Hyunjin and the choreographer at the practice room”, Chan said and you quickly gave Felix one last kiss before running through the door.

In the practice room, Minho was hard at work with the choreographer and you wanted to sit down on the couch next to Hyunjin to wait for him.

With a grin, Hyunjin pulled you onto his lap and you sucked in a sharp breath as the fabric of his jeans rubbed against your bare and already sensitive pussy.

You glanced briefly at the others, but they were completely distracted and busy going over the choreography. Even so, the staff knew you were close. Even the guys would often sit on each other's laps or cuddle. That was perfectly normal for everyone around.

What wasn't normal was that your already aroused cunt was now pressed right up against his thigh. He put an arm around your waist to hold you close and whispered in your ear:

"I can feel you even through my pants.”

Then he slowly began to bob his leg and a gasp escaped you that was fortunately swallowed by the music. His thigh muscles tensed under you and he held your hip tightly.

Eagerly you began to move your hips slightly, enjoying the friction on your naked pussy and trying to get rid of the arousal that Felix triggered.

"Just take what you need, princess”, he murmured seductively and you bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

With one last glance at the other two, who however didn't glance in your direction but were busy with themselves and their notes, you began to ride his thigh, panting softly as you did so.

He started to kiss your neck, roughly fondling your breasts and rubbing and pinching your nipples through your clothing, making you whimper. His hands found there place onto your breasts as your hips rutted against his thigh. He could begin to feel your slick dampen his pants and it brought another smile onto his face.

"Does that feel good, princess?"

You nodded and your breath started to speed up as you humped Hyunjin's thigh faster and faster and he sucked in your skin between his teeth, worshipping your breasts and grabbing and groping all over your body.

But suddenly Lee Know raised his eyes and fixed you both with a sharp expression on his face.

But this only spurred you on even more. He quickly engaged the choreographer in conversation and made sure he didn't turn around.

Nevertheless you continued to ride his friends thigh. Hyunjin cleched and jiggled his leg just to see your reaction. He noticed how you shivered and lightly wrapped his hand around your throat, which he knew you adored.

While looking Minho directly in the eyes, he began to rub your clit with his fingers under your skirt and you tensed on his lap.

Minho found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the conversation and he tried not to look at you too often, but the way you rode Hyunjin's thigh and your needy expression made it hard for him.

"Jinnie, I'm close”, you whimpered and rolled your hips even rougher against his leg.

"Come for me, pretty girl”, he whispered, tightening his grip around your neck and there you came with a naughty moan.

"Oh fuck... Thank you”, you gasped and leaned against his chest as you came down from your high.

He wrapped both arms tightly around your stomach and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"You can thank me soon enough, but now you should take care of Minho. I think he’s a bit jealous”, he said with a mocking smile at Lee Know, pressing a kiss to your collarbone and it was obvious that he was right.

You stood up and waited at the door until Minho was ready. Unfortunately you had to leave if you wanted to get to the photo-shooting on time.

Finally Lee Know came over to you and Hyunjin engaged the choreographer directly in another conversation.

Only you seemed to notice the wet spot on his pants, and as you stepped out into the hallway together, you had to smile, when you only heard Minho mutter:

"You are both maniacs.”

——————————————————————-

© Sky-yuna — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

Taglist (closed):

@poisonivy21 @elizalabs3 @chartrucewhore @smutlemononeshot @hgema @bookwyrm28 @gemini-demon @jeongchaos @jihanlovic @comingupwithacoolnameishard @marked-unknown @yuhjoeyuh @bakedlilgoonie @itstorimf @toomuchtellyneck @ana-stasssiaaa @galaxypox @n034sy @amara-mars @purple-belle @amararosesblog @tori719 @rindomo @freakinthesheets-excelexcel @niaalove @crazyllamasurfer @luunaruwu @mariegalea @kimseungminsprincess @julciaqwerty @officialshania @whore4stucky9104 @foxinnie8 @i-dont-know-me-either @sirenthalia @mixling-blog @httpsmultifandom @hyunlixwife @eastleighsblog @tzalethhwang @queenofdragons12  @fixation-dump @midsoulz @emmxxsworld @scarletrosesposts @sugahannie @jinniespuppy @minervasystem @tasteskz-sworld @hyunlixsbbygirl

[xyuna0]

Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Part Ten)

Characters: Hyunjin x female reader (ft other skz members)

Genre/warnings: nanny!reader, boy next door/neighbor!hyunjin, generally inexperienced and painfully shy virgin!reader, fluff, some humor, sexual themes, angst toward the middle/end, mentions of fingering, virgin jokes, mentions of porn/porn stars, one mention of a corruption kink but it’s more kinda joking/snarky, reader thinking she’s not good enough for not having sex, if i missed anything lmk!! :) (minors dni!!!)

Word count: 4,665

Summary: You think it’s luck when the new family you nanny for is so stupid rich that they rent you a fancy new apartment just so you can live closer to them. You think it’s luck when the guy across the hall is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your entire life and makes an effort to talk to you. But that’s just about where your luck runs out, because Hyunjin is more out of your league than you could ever imagine, and you’re just some hopeless virgin who never had good luck in the first place.

Previous | Next | Series Masterlist

Keep reading

[xyuna0]

the boy is bad news | h.hj smau

ch 24 - it’s a secret

summary: An aspiring journalist, you are the news editor for The Uni Chronicles; the campus newspaper, popular for delivering breaking news at the drop of a hat and providing detailed articles about the various happenings around your university. You think you’ve covered every story there was to cover before you’re tasked with producing an in-depth editorial on a student whose name is on everyone’s lips—Hwang Hyunjin.

a/n: some narbin crumbs for you guys 🥰 at least one of our couples is thriving atm 🥲 loverboy hyune makes his first move!! thoughts?? please share!

masterlist

Taglist: @mal-lunar-28 @ladylexis @vampcharxter @sisterofsomeone @whlfchnari @imasimplol @writersun @i2lain @astraystayyh @jiimout @hwajin @hyynee @rachabreathing @zoe8stay @abbiestearsricochet @chanlovesme @stay-down-kid @flowerbin131 @hyunverse @whatthefsposts @carousellights @dorisnumber1fan @hyunsungbased @manj1ro @straydhampir @jungkookies1002 @rindomo @iadorethemskz @silent-jill @feelikecinderella @vixensss @leeyanyanyaaan @broken-glowsticks @bmnyy @fawnpeaks @hyuneyeon @septicrebel @channiesstars @mimi-sierra04 @dreamstarsandskz @cheshireshiya @staurdvst @swissgoswish @ggundeuri @farfromsugafanfic @whats-my-question @sstarryreads @iwaplant @yla-aira @midsoulz

[xyuna0]

Loyalty

Your relationship with hyunjin had ended years ago. You ended up caught up in a little bit of trouble with the government from a deal you had made with hyunjin those years ago. The only way to not end up in prison is to pin the blame onto him by breaking into the stray kids headquarters. But somehow your lives were never truly separated you come to find out.

Oneshot

Hyunjin x afab reader

Crime au, elements of GTA V au

1.4k ish words

Warnings below the cut ♡

Warnings - mentions of guns, threats, pet names baby, sweetheart, one use of bitch, minor violence, oral (m recieving), Piv, unprotected sex. I thinks that's all lemme know if I missed anything.

"Agent Jung, I've got you covered in the corridor, if you continue down into this hallway and make a left his office should be around that corner." Officer Lee said through my earpiece watching me from the cctv in the surveillance van. That meant Agent Kim was in position with her sniper, on the roof of the building I could see in the windows. I walked down the hallway holding my rifle low but still on alert to aim and fire at any member of the Stray Kids gang that could potentially be lurking around the corner. It felt like yesterday where I was running down that corridor in excitement to see him, now I only prayed that when I saw that big red door he wouldn't be behind it.

As I took a left I saw it, in all its glory. That big red door with the nameplate hwang hyunjin in gold on the front of it. I walked up to it careful to avoid the floorboard that creaked to the left of the entrance. I knew this place too well. I hurried towards the door ready to open it swiftly with my rifle and at any occupants. Knowing hwang, changbin and chan could easily be in there as well, and they would not hesitate to knock me out when I entered. But that was a risk a had ro take.

As I turned the brass doorknob my hands started to sweat in fear and I hastily swung it open. No one was there. My heart rate lowered in relief as I entered the office and closed the door quietly. The Intel had been correct, hwang was at a meeting. That meant he could be back any minute so I had to be quick. I rifled through the drawers pushing asides pills, bullets and firearms trying to find the document. The document that would hopefully clear my name from the FIB, for now. As I got onto the last drawer the shine of a grey filing cabinet in the corner caught my eye. Clearly a new addition to the office I took out my hairpin and picked the lock, opening it up. It was filled with evidence of all these different crimes he had committed, but I was only after one thing. The invoice that had been sent from Okano Shichiro.

I quickly photographed the piece of paper as a safe measure and sent it to my FIB contact, and then folded the original and put it in my pocket. I almost started to put the room back to how it was before, but no, I want him to KNOW I was there. So with that I snuck back out into the corridor and down the stairwell, the elevator was too risky. As I escaped back down to the street using the fire escape I couldn't help but feel uneasy, it should never be this quiet in that building. I brushed off the nervousness as I called officer Lee to meet back at the safehouse to hand over the document. She was wary at first saying that she should stay with me, to make sure I didn't run off, but I assured her that even if I ran I wouldn't get far without Hwang or the FIB finding me. So with that I hopped onto my motorcycle and headed to the safe house.

When I pulled up I saw Officer Lee's car there and opened door to be greeted with the blinds shut.

"Officer Lee?" No response.

"Officer Lee are you there?" Nothing.

"Chaeryeong?" I said feeling my stomach drop in fear.

In a split second my neck was being put in a chokehold and the metal of the gun ached into my temples.

" Hi sweetheart, did you miss me?"

Hwang. He had found me, I wanted to play a bit of cat and mouse with him but this was too short winded he had caught me before I had even started running.

" What your not going to give me the decency of replying." He said through gritted teeth right above my ear.

" I didn't think you needed an answer, you know what your like with rhetorical questions." I said struggling to break free from his grasp. His grip tightened and he pressed the gun harder into my temple.

" I wouldn't be so rude, your not the one holding the gun here baby."

" Yeah for once, you just want to one up me from our last encounter."

" Oh wow, I thought working with the FIB would have worked that attitude out of you. I guess not. Hmm?"

"How?!?!.... did yo-"

" You really thought I hadn't been watching you all these years, sweetheart I know everything about you to the last minute detail, from what you ate for breakfast to who you last fucked. Oh and you want to know something crazy, that guy was a real screamer, constantly crying about his family and how he didn't want to die."

" You killed him???"

" Of course I did, no one touches you."

"I'm not yours Hwang."

"So cold to me baby, but it's okay your the FIB's property now, just their little traitor bitch. Right?" He said clearly angry with my recent life choices.

" I had to Hwang, I had no choice they were going to put me away for nearly 40 years over that jewellery heist we did."

" i wouldn't have let that happen, you could have atleast not thrown me under the bus and stop calling me hwang you owe me that."

" I owe you nothing."

" Oh yeah." He said as he released me from his grip and threw me on the sofa. He then caged me in with his arms and legs, hovering over me.

" you really think I haven't being protecting you from the sidelines all these years."

" I didn't ask you to."

" no but you clearly needed me to because i didn't protect you from the FIB, and look where that got you."

" I'm sorry okay I didn't want to. I thought it was my only option."

" Well it wasn’t so now you need to repent." Oh no, repent could only mean one thing. When we were together he would go on about how I had to repent for my sins for him. That could only mean one thing.

I couldn't tell whether it was his dominating glare or his strong arms that were currently caging me into the sofa but I gave in. I sat up and so did hyunjin, I then started to kneel down so I was in front of him.

" wow I didn't think getting you back on your knees for me would be so easy " he said stroking my head while directing my left hand in his to unbuckle his belt. He then unzipped his trousers and said.

" aren't you the one who's meant to be doing the work here." I then started to palm his bulge that I could feel before when he was pushing me into the sofa. He moaned at the touch as I slowly worked my hand up his pelvic bone to dip into his boxers. I grasped his length and let his cock spring free. I started stroking it as Hyunjin rested his hand on my head.

" stop teasing me baby, you know I want it in your mouth." He said as he grabbed his dick and started to tease the head of his cock on my lips. I opened my mouth and started to suck him off. I moaned at the feeling of having him in my mouth again as he threw his head back in pleasure. He started to fuck my mouth at a slow pace moaning louder and louder with each soft thrust. I could feel his cock throbbing indicating he was getting close. I want him, all of him. So I started to suck harder feeling him tense up in pleasure.

" Ahhh fuck baby stop I'm about to cum." I looked up at him with sad eyes but he just caressed my face and slid his dick out of my mouth.

" I want to fuck you baby, so badly I need you now." I smiled at the request as I laid down on the sofa as he hovered over me once again. He directed his leaking cock to my wet pussy, he teased my clit smirking at how I squirmed from the sensation.

" I need you now." I said pulling him in for a kiss. It was the first time I had kissed him in years. He hadn't changed one bit, I could feel him smile from the same thought. The kiss lasted a long time as we both got lost in the moment, I was suddenly brought back to reality as his cock slowly entered me making me moan from the stretch.

" ahhh fuck, clearly that dude had not been fucking you enough, your too tight." He said in gasps from the overwhelming pleasure that he was feeling.

" mmmm no one fucks me as good as you hyunnie." I said looking at him as I fell in love with him again. He started with slow shallow thrusts, I expected him to go faster like he use to but he kept going slower and deeper.

"Hmmm faster baby." I cried wanting to feel him rougher.

" no baby, I need to feel you as much as i possibly can because ive gone a long time without feeling you and I'm going to take my time." He said kissing me as i whined from the painfully slow thrusts. He kept going but soon got lost in the pleasure going quicker trying to chase his high. I started moaning faster as he picked up the pace feeling my high approach as well.

" hyunnie I'm about to come."

" me too baby, me too, come with me."

He said as we both hit our orgasms moaning in ecstasy. He collapsed onto me wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.

"Mmmm I missed you."

"I missed you too." He said muffled as he started marking my neck.

" Hey, people will see those there." I said but staying still not trying to push his head away from my neck.

" exactly I'm claiming what's always been mine. The FIB needs to know that you will always be loyal to me. Always."

Authors Note - hi, I'm sorry if this is god awful I've never really written anything but if you did enjoy or have feedback let me know. I also don't really understand how tumblr works so if you have any suggestions hmu. mwah ☆