xxnaiaxx

[xxnaiaxx]

somebody to you

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 9.6k

You’re not a footballer and knowing that your girlfriend is one of the best footballers in the world… you definitely think Alexia deserves better than you. Maybe someone like her ex—World Cup winner, Jenni Hermoso.

; angst, fluff

When you first met your girlfriend, Alexia, you had no idea who she was.

Football was the last thing you could ever be interested in. How were you supposed to know that the blonde in front of you was one of the best footballers in the world?

Whenever you recall back to that moment, you could still remember every single detail—her hair up in a messy ponytail, a pair of sunglasses resting on top of her head, and her faded grey sweatshirt paired with light blue jorts. (Who the hell wore jorts?) Not to mention the permanent scowl etched on her face. She made smiling seem like a chore.

When it was her turn to order and all she did was point to the menu to show you what she wanted, you frowned because, a) that was so rude—how hard was it to say that she wanted a hot chocolate? but b) she looked so damn hot and you were a sucker for pretty, bratty girls. 

She was perfect.

When you decided to shoot your shot and wrote your number on her cup (and a note that went: you should smile more often, I haven’t seen it, but I’d bet that it’s the most beautiful smile in the world x), you didn’t think she’d do anything about it. 

Imagine your surprise when you received a text from an unknown number later that night.

hola

I just wanted to tell you to do better with your pick-up line

That was a few months ago and now you could confidently say that Alexia’s smile was indeed the most beautiful smile in the world. 

It was tough to break down her walls at first, Alexia always exuded a nonchalant vibe, only smiled when she had to, and didn't look like she enjoyed whatever it was you two were doing. 

You were never a quitter though. So you kept on texting her, asking if she wanted to go for another date. 

She kept on saying yes and that was when you knew that underneath her indifferent mood, she enjoyed your little dates.

Her tough exterior was merely a front and your suspicions were confirmed when one night, she started laughing so hard mid-sentence, causing you to stop whatever it was you were doing because wow, you could listen to her laughter on repeat for the rest of your life.

“Y/N,” she grabbed your face in her hands, gently rubbing your cheeks, her laughter fading into a gentle, warm smile on her face. “You’ve been so patient with my grumpiness. That is a talent.��

“Ale, I really like you,” you chuckled. “That includes your grumpiness.”

“I’m not always like this,” she confessed. You only looked at her in confusion before she told you everything. Who she was, what Alexia Putellas meant to the world, and most importantly, her ACL—the injury that caused her to lose sight of the world for a bit.

“I was just so angry with the world, even now that I’ve healed, I still hated that it happened to me because I missed out for months, I missed out on so many moments. So the bitterness likes to reappear every now and then… That, and I don’t really trust people so easily; people usually want something from me. I didn’t know what you wanted from me.”

“Ale… I had no idea who you were,” you gave her a sheepish smile. “Which might be stupid of me, now that I think about it. I mean, I should know you, shouldn’t I? You’ve won that balloon football award or whatever and it’s ridiculous that I have no idea who—”

You were cut off by a pair of lips crashing into your own. Alexia silencing all your worries with the softest kiss, her strawberry chapstick was all you could taste. She pulled away to rest her forehead against yours, eyes staring at you intently, your favourite smile on display. “I don’t care that you don’t know who I am, Y/N. In fact, I love it. You treat me so normally. Eres mi favorita.”

You couldn’t help the grin on your face. “Am I? You wanna be my girlfriend then, Putellas?”

When all she did was flash you her signature smirk, her eyebrows raised, and an “ask me in a more romantic way, por favor” thrown your way—that was when you realized that you’d broken down her walls completely, and oh you were insufferable. Because the way she looked at you? The way her eyes lit up, her lips slowly curling into a stupidly perfect grin? People would go to war to have someone look at them like that.

You were so head over heels in love with Alexia.

—

Being Alexia’s girlfriend—or wag, as you learned of the term on the internet—was more than you could ever dream of.

You still worked part time at the café where you two met while juggling your studies to finish your master degree. On weekends, you would support Alexia on her games. Cheering her on, not caring about anything else except when Alexia had the ball on her feet.

You were happy in the bubble you and Alexia created.

That was until one Saturday night, you were seated at your usual seat at the stadium among friends and families of the players, when someone plopped down on the seat next to you.

You still weren’t that familiar with football, having only been to ten games in total. You knew the rules, you knew a couple of Alexia’s teammates after stalking them online (you two were still keeping your relationship a secret from everyone else), but that was mostly it. 

So you didn’t know who the person next to you was until she offered a small smile, outstretching her hand for you to shake.

Jenni.

The name was a bit familiar, so was her face. You couldn’t quite place where you’ve seen her before though.

“Who do you know on the team?” her voice brought you out of your daydream, wracking your brain on why she looked familiar.

“Uhm,” you stuttered. Right. This was the friends and family section, you couldn’t sit here if you didn’t know anyone. “Alexia.”

Jenni was surprised, you could tell with the way her eyes widened for a split second, not expecting your answer. “Friend of Ale’s, huh?”

You didn’t like how she said your girlfriend’s name. With that hint of… fondness. You suddenly felt a possessive feeling growing in your chest and you just wanted to tell everyone that Alexia is yours.

Jenni stared at the field, her eyes fixating on Alexia. You could see an affectionate smile on her face and that was when it clicked. You’ve seen her on Alexia's Instagram before. Jenni used to be her teammate at Barcelona before she moved to Mexico.

You knew this because in the picture, Jenni was smiling at Alexia the same way. And even though your Spanish wasn’t spectacular, you remembered reading the paragraph Alexia wrote for Jenni and getting the hint at how close they were with how Alexia seemed to think so highly of Jenni.

“You’re her teammate, yeah?”

Jenni turned back to look at you, nodding. “I don’t play for Barça anymore, but we still play on the national team together.”

“Cool.” 

Jenni gave a small laugh. “You don’t know much about football, do you?”

You grimaced, “Is it that obvious?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she patted your arm in what was meant to be a comforting gesture, but it made you feel even more stupid and out of place in this whole stadium, where everyone knew what they were getting into when they bought tickets to the game. “It’s just that—not trying to sound arrogant or anything—but usually people know who I am because I used to play for this team. So you not recognizing me straight away gave me the clue that you’re probably not a Culer.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Culer?”

“Fans of the club.”

“Ah.” You were definitely not a Barcelona fan. You were a fan of your girlfriend though, and if that meant you had to be a Culer or whatever it was, then you would be.

So when you laid down in Alexia’s bed that night, you mentioned to her that starting from today, you were a Culer. She burst out laughing and you can feel her grip you tighter, having your face completely smashed against her neck—not that you minded, you had always felt so content being pressed up against Alexia.

“Mi amor,” she cooed, looking down to face you, her hand finding its way to its favourite resting place on your cheek. “When did you learn that?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, starting to feel a bit insecure at this whole thing. “Well, we’ve been dating for three months now—next week it would be four—and I still don’t know shit about football, but, Ale… I’d be a Culer for you.”

Alexia giggled and pecked your lips, smiling your favourite smile of hers (the one that made her eyes sparkle and the small dimples on her cheek to come out).

“You’re perfect, did you know? I love you whether you’re a Culer or not.”

“Hm,” you pretended to be deep in thought. “Then what if I become a Real Madrid fan?”

Alexia gave you an unimpressed look. “Don’t push it.”

“I’m going to Madrid next week with a couple of my friends and maybe I could catch a game—”

And Alexia did what had become her favourite thing to do: interrupting your ramble with a kiss. You had a love-hate relationship with the gesture, because while you do love having her soft lips on yours, it was so annoying to be cut off mid-sentence.

You never complained though. You’d happily get interrupted if it meant having Alexia kiss you like you were the last person on earth.

That night, you buried your uneasiness as a result of your encounter with Jenni deep, deep inside.

(You didn’t know just how important Jenni was to Alexia.)

—

Jenni was in town for a couple of days, you’d later learn.

You would usually go to Alexia’s after you were done for the day, mostly spending the night at hers. That was why Alexia ended up giving you a spare key—so you would be able to come as you please.

It wasn’t unusual for you to have to use your spare key. What was unusual was the sight of Jenni sitting on your girlfriend’s couch, looking surprised at you barging into your girlfriend’s home.

“Hi…” you gave an awkward small wave at her, closing the door behind you as you slowly stepped inside the apartment.

“Oh! Y/N, right?” Jenni stood up to face you and you could tell that this was very much awkward for her as it was for you. “Nice to meet you again.”

You gave her your best smile, trying your hardest not to be rude as you scan the place for any sight of your favourite blonde. “Is… Alexia here?”

“I have no idea where she is honestly,” at that you couldn’t help the way your eyebrows rose to the top of your head. “I’m in Barcelona for a couple of days. I was supposed to meet her tomorrow morning for breakfast but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. So I figured I’d meet her tonight instead. I have an extra key so…”

You didn’t like what you were hearing at all, but you kept your cool. That was the jealousy inside of you, you knew this. Jenni’s a friend. You really should tone down your green-eyed monster.

“What are you doing here?” It was Jenni’s turn to ask you. 

“I, too, have a spare key,” you intended to joke about the situation, but your tone felt off and Jenni can sense it too. 

Jenni had a lot of questions, you could tell. It was easy to read the emotions on her face. 

You had to remind yourself that she didn’t know you were dating Alexia. She didn’t know that you basically spent more nights here than at your own place. It was natural to be curious as to why there was a random girl showing up at your best friend’s house at 10 pm, with her own sets of keys nonetheless.

Wanting to get out of the awkward situation, you excused yourself, saying you’d meet Alexia some other time, bidding Jenni goodbye.

You texted Alexia a simple good night once you settled in your bed. 

When Alexia responded back with a short text back, sweet dreams, mi amor, and not a phone call asking why you weren’t in her bed, you let that feeling of uneasiness return to the surface.

—

You didn’t get to overthink for too long because when you wake up, it was because you felt your bed dip and the familiar scent of your girlfriend engulfing you as she settled behind you.

“Bon dia,” Alexia whispered, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you to her. “I missed you last night.”

You turned around to burrow your face into her collarbones, letting out a content sigh. “Missed you too.”

“Jenni told me you visited my place but left immediately.”

At the mention of her name, you froze. What a way to ruin the moment. “Yeah,” was all you replied, which was weird to Alexia considering how talkative you were in the mornings.

“Why didn’t you wait for me, bebita? You always wait for me even when I’m not home.”

You shrugged, “Jenni was there already.”

Alexia went still for a moment, which you thought was odd.

You wanted so badly to keep quiet, but the 

nagging feelings that you couldn’t shake grew stronger. “She has a spare key too. Do you just go around giving keys to your apartment to everyone? I thought I was special,” you chuckled, meaning it to be a joke, waiting for Alexia to respond with her usual snarky retort.

When Alexia didn’t say anything, you pulled back from her, looking up to stare at her face. She was looking anywhere but you.

“Ale? I’m only kidding. I know she’s your friend.”

Alexia cleared her throat, “You see…” 

You sat up, something about her tone brought up that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Jenni’s my ex.”

Ah. That definitely burst the bubble you’d carefully created.

You gave a bitter laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “So your ex still has a key to your place,” you stated. You were about to swallow your sentence when you suddenly felt anger rising in your chest with how blindsided you were. “Did she spend the night?”

Alexia looked like a deer caught in the headlights. You felt sick.

“That’s a yes.”

“Amor…”

You shook of her touch and went to stand up. You looked at the blonde in your bed and you felt your heart crushed. You hated how Alexia looked like a kicked puppy, immediately scrambling to chase after you once she realized you were leaving the room.

“Y/N, it’s not what you think—”

“Your ex still has a key to your place and she stayed the night,” you were mostly repeating it to yourself, trying to wrap your head around the fact somehow.

“She slept on the couch!” Alexia interjected. “Nothing happened, amor, I swear.”

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You didn’t want to fight with Alexia. Besides, deep down you knew that Alexia wasn’t the type of person to be unfaithful.

“Okay,” you relented, opening your fridge with the aim of making breakfast, trying to busy yourself with something that wasn’t looking at your girlfriend.

Alexia didn’t seem convinced that you’d drop the subject just like that. “There's nothing going on between Jenni and I. She's a good friend.”

You grabbed an empty bowl. “Okay.” You scooped some yogurt out of its jar and placed a spoonful in your bowl. Jenni’s a good friend. Just a friend.

“Mi vida… I know it’s… weird? To still be friends with an ex, but…”

You poured some granola on top of your yogurt. Who the hell stayed friends with their ex? Alexia. Sweet, lovely Alexia. 

Looking down at your bowl and seeing a sad, miserable breakfast (just like how you were feeling), you pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling a small headache coming through. You felt like crying but that seemed pathetic so you shoved the feeling away. Jenni was an ex, but she was a good friend. You had to live with that.

“I trust you, Ale,” you sighed. “If you say she’s a good friend, then I trust you.” 

She went up behind you and rested her chin on your shoulder, her arms encircling your waist. “I love you,” she whispered into your shoulder, placing a kiss on the exposed skin. “I really do. Jenni and I broke up ages ago.”

They broke up ages ago. That was grand. You were fine. People stayed friends with their ex and nothing happened. Right?

When you didn’t say anything else, just continuing to stare at your breakfast, Alexia poked your side. “Hey,” she placed a peck on your back. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, love.” More like jealous. Or fucking devastated that your girlfriend’s ex was a sexy footballer just like herself. How could you ever compete with that?

“Y/N,” Alexia’s voice brought you out of your thoughts. “Babygirl.”

At that you couldn’t help the laughter that escaped your lips. You turned around to face her, her arms stayed trapping you against the counter. “Please don't call me that ever again.”

“Why?” Alexia smirked, her face inching closer to yours. 

“I hate it, Ale, por favor,” you groaned. 

Alexia grinned at you, pecking your lips “Hm. I love when you speak Spanish.”

And when Alexia kissed you, any thoughts of your girlfriend’s ex escaped your brain completely. 

Alexia chose you. So what if she still hung out with her ex? Plenty of people do. Plus, you trust Alexia. You had nothing to worry about.

—

Apparently it wasn’t Alexia you had to worry about. It was yourself. You were your own worst enemy and all that.

You didn’t mean to let the thoughts run loose.

When Jenni left for Mexico, you were elated. No more running into your girlfriend’s ex and no more ex-girlfriend trying to steal your girlfriend’s time away from you.

You didn’t factor in the fact that Alexia and Jenni were national teammates. So when international break came and both Alexia and Jenni were called up to camp in Portugal… 

You felt like you were going crazy.

You knew you were being dumb, but you couldn’t help it. You didn't think that Alexia would cheat on you—that possibility never crossed your mind.

You just couldn’t help but feel incomparible to Jenni.

That was how you went into a rabbit hole of watching every Alexia and Jenni videos on the internet.

It was a mistake, really. A stupid, terrible mistake, because you could see how well they fit together.

Their chemistry on and off the field were something else, you kinda felt stupid to think that Jenni was the one ruining your relationship when it could very well be that you were the one preventing Alexia from being with someone who truly gets her.

Because you were sure that Jenni understood Alexia in ways that you may never do. They had been through thick and thin together—Alexia’s injury, the issue with the Spanish Federation—they won countless of football championships together, for god's sake.

And how exactly were you supposed to compete with that? Alexia lived and breathed football, you wouldn’t step foot inside a football match if your girlfriend wasn't on the team.

You didn’t get this world of hers and you knew that you never would. 

Unlike Jenni. This was her world already. 

They'd be perfect together—they were perfect together.

You hated how you were able to let your thoughts spiral as you stared at another video of Jenni looking at Alexia like she was the only person in the room.

You knew Alexia loved you, you had no doubt about that, and you loved her too. But maybe Jenni could love her better.

Jenni was perfect for Alexia in ways that you weren’t. With that thought replaying in your head, you turned off your phone and kept it locked inside your drawer.

You were never one to be obsessed with your phone, having gone days without it and being absolutely fine. So that was what you did. Mostly because you didn't want to talk to Alexia.

You couldn’t handle it if Alexia came to the same realization as you—that you were nothing compared to Jenni and she could very much just get back together with her ex.

Just imagining it crushed your heart into bits so you tried your best to push it away as you went through your day.

—

Alexia decided to leave camp a day earlier than she was supposed to. She said she had a family emergency to attend to, which was true, considering you had yet to respond to any of her calls or texts. She must’ve sounded so desperate to return back to Barcelona, causing them to reluctantly let her go.

She got on the first plane available and went straight home. Usually you would stay over at hers when she was out of town, claiming that you always missed her when she wasn’t around and having her scent engulf you was the next best thing.

However, when Alexia entered her apartment and there were no signs of you, she dropped her bag and hurriedly got into her car to drive to yours. She thanked god that your place was only five minutes away. 

Quickly putting her car into park, she tried to regulate her breathing and convinced herself that you were fine. 

You were fine. You had to be. You were fine when Alexia left for the airport just a week ago.

With the thought that you maybe broke your phone or lost it, Alexia inserted the spare key you gave her and unlocked the door.

You weren’t in the living room. Or the kitchen. So that left one more place. Knocking softly on your bedroom door, she called out your name. When she didn’t get a reply, she let herself in.

No one was there, or in the bathroom. Sighing to herself, she made her way back to the living room and laid down on the couch.

Alexia was never the one to cry easily but she really wanted to. She had no idea where you were, or if you were safe. Never had she felt so helpless before.

This was maybe her fault for wanting to keep you two a secret.

Now she couldn’t contact any of your friends because she didn’t know them.

She took a deep breath and willed herself to focus on where you could be. The café you work at, perhaps? But it was a Sunday and you didn’t work on Sundays because Alexia didn’t have anything to do either and Sundays were your lounging-around-in-bed-until-lunch-time type of days.

Maybe you were at the library. You were going to have your exams next week. Alexia already had your schedule memorized. But it was nearing midnight and you never—

“Ale?” you couldn’t help the surprise in your tone. “Aren’t you supposed to still be at camp?”

Alexia jumped a foot in the air, mostly because she didn’t hear you come in and was scared shitless but also because oh my god, she could finally breathe now that you were okay. 

Alexia immediately wrapped her arms around you, she felt like she never wanted to let you go. Ever. “And you’re supposed to reply to my calls, amor.”

Well. 

“My phone’s broken.”

Alexia pulled back and looked at you, her face telling you that she didn’t quite believe you. 

“My phone’s lost…?” you tried again, giving her a sheepish smile. You were starting to feel bad for ignoring her.

Alexia only sighed in response, dropping on the couch and pulling you to sit on her lap. “I’m just glad you’re okay, mi vida. I was really worried.”

You felt even guiltier now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be.”

You were taken aback at the look of pure disbelief on Alexia’s face at your words. You really didn’t think she’d worry about you—with having to go to training everyday, hanging out with her national teammates, having Jenni around.

“That’s…” Alexia shook her head, trying to get her words out. “That’s ridiculous, amor. Why would I not be worried about you?”

You shrugged. “You’re busy, love. I’d understand.”

Alexia quickly shook her head, you were afraid she'd get whiplash with how frantic her movements were. “I am always busy during camp, sí, but never too busy enough for you? Did I do something to make you feel like I would not have time for you? I didn’t realize—”

Now it was your turn to silence her with a kiss, which was a rare occurrence—cool, calm Alexia never rambled.

You felt her sigh against your mouth, her whispers of a soft “te amo mucho” made you go completely limp in her arms.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you reassured her. “It’s just me, don’t worry about it.”

“I will always have time for you and I will always worry about you. Because I love you.”

You smiled at her, despite having the worst feeling in the pit of your stomach you still believe her whenever she said it to you. “I love you too, Ale. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

She was still looking at you with worry etched on her face. “Anything else on your pretty mind?” 

You felt that if you voiced your thoughts out loud, you’d sound like a crazy, jealous girlfriend and you didn’t want that. So you simply said nothing and laid your head on her chest.

This was fine. You were in Alexia’s arms. Jenni was far away in Mexico. (Well, Portugal right now, but she’d eventually return to Mexico).

You promised yourself you wouldn't let your insane, full of jealousy thoughts ruin what you had with Alexia.

—

People found out about you and Alexia a month later. And by people, that meant the whole damn earth.

Since you never mentioned Alexia to your friends—just casually mentioning that you were seeing someone, but not necessarily specifying who exactly you were dating—the moment your pictures with alexia blew up on the internet, so did your phone.

They were candid pictures of you and Alexia at the beach. Private candid pictures.

You unlocked your phone and scrolled through the countless texts from your friends.

how did you manage to bag THE alexia putellas???

idiota text me back wtf!!!

did you blackmail her oh my god you genius

Which were definitely rude. And didn’t help at all the voices at the back of your head screaming that you weren't good enough for Alexia.

It was a hellish morning.

The only thing saving it was the sound of keys at the front door, and a moment later your girlfriend was stepping inside your apartment, humming happily as she placed a bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. She most likely hadn’t seen the pictures yet.

“Ale,” you called out, giving her a weak smile as she turned her head towards you.

“Hola, mi amor,” Alexia instantly furrowing her brows at the sight of you sitting on the couch. “Whats wrong?”

You hated how she could read you so well. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

She flopped down on the couch next to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and bringing you into her side. You left out the biggest sigh and just handed her your phone, where the pictures of the two of you were still open.

You felt Alexia stiffen up and you closed your eyes, willing that this wasn't the end for you two. You knew just how much Alexia valued her privacy. 

It was silent for a minute or so, alexia tapping away on your phone. 

“Lo siento,” Alexia pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I already restricted the comments on your Instagram, you shouldn’t be dealing with all that. People can be a bit… much sometimes.”

Oh. You hadn't even thought to check your Instagram page. You were glad though, you couldn't imagine what vile things people were saying about you. It must be bad enough that that was where Alexia immediately thought to go.

“Is it that bad?” you voiced out, pulling back so you could see Alexia’s face. She looked surprisingly calm. “Babe, how are you so calm about this?”

“The comments on your posts are a lot, but I didn’t read them,” Alexia said simply. “It can be overwhelming, that's why I wanted to shield you from all of that. When you're ready you can just turn it back on.”

You smiled at how thoughtful she was. You really loved her. “You don't have to shield me from anything, Ale. I can handle a few nasty comments. You also haven’t answered my question.”

Alexia looked questioningly at you, grabbing at your arms to pull you closer again.

You settled nicely in her arms, your back pressing against her front as she laid down on the couch. “What question?”

“How you’re so calm about all of this.”

“Ah,” you can feel Alexia's chuckle and you turn around. You were now facing her again (your favorite thing to do—who would ever be tired of staring at Alexia’s face). You placed both of your hands on her face and ran your fingers through her jaw. “I’m anything but calm, bebita. You should feel my heart.”

“I can feel it.”

“Then you know I’m not calm.”

“You are the epitome of calm right now, baby,” you laughed, the nerves still shimmering across your entire body, whereas Alexia looked like it was just a regular Saturday for her.

Alexia took a deep breath and placed her hand on top of yours. “I’m scared. That is the truth. I’m really, really scared. But I know we will get through this. Together. As long as I have you and you have me, I think everything will be alright.”

You smiled at her, truly feeling how she meant her words. You pecked her lips and went back to snuggle into her, your head resting perfectly in the crook of her neck.

“I love you, Ale. You have me. Always.”

—

The next few weeks passed by in a blur. You finally got introduced to Alexia’s friends—Alexia brought you to Lucy and Ona’s housewarming party for their new place. Everyone loved you and you felt like you fit right in. It was great. You felt happy.

(You didn't let the thoughts of why it took a media outlet leaking your pictures for Alexia to bring you around to meet the people in her life, but you cast it aside.)

You met up with your friends and finally told them about Alexia. They were all wary, thinking it was too good to be true. A couple of snide remarks were thrown around about how Alexia could do better, even though your friends said it in a joking way, it still hurt.

But you managed by.

The next thing you knew you were being introduced to Eli and Alba.

It went fine, the most important people in your girlfriend's life seemed to like you, asking you questions about all sorts of things.

It wasn't until Alba casually mentioned how she was going to Mexico with some of her friends and how she would be staying with Jenni the whole week that you realized how closely intertwined Jenni was with Alexia’s life.

Your girlfriend's little sister lighting up as she mentioned all the places Jenni was planning on taking her to. You realized that Alba grew up with Jenni and she most likely saw Jenni as her big sister too; how devastated was she when Alexia and Jenni broke up and Jenni would never officially be a part of their family?

Going home that night, your mind was filled with how Alba and Eli were most likely comparing you to Jenni. Once again you were met with the question that seemed to always bother you: how were you supposed to compete with Jenni Hermoso?

—

The next thing you knew it was time for the World Cup. A very big deal for your girlfriend.

Especially since this was her first big tournament after suffering her injury.

You flew to support her, occasionally meeting with Alba and Eli for lunch (you knew you wouldn’t live up to Jenni, but you could try to make them like you better).

They hadn't given an indication that they disliked you, but just to be safe, you were willing to go the extra mile to make your girlfriend's family like you. You didn't have a decade-long history with them, but you could meet up with them to eat sushi even though you hated eating raw fish.

A small price to pay. Alba was really craving salmon sashimi.

At night, Alexia called you, telling you about her day. Mostly, you let her stay in the zone, you knew how important this was for her; you never called her first, letting her take the lead. You didn't want to be a distraction.

You two have talked about this before. You, scared that you'd be a distraction and Alexia looking at you as if that was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. Alexia reassured you that you'd never be a distraction and nothing had to change.

You were nervous. You didn't know what being a wag entailed during a big tournament.

It went fine though and your best friends did told you that you were worrying for nothing.

(You still couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that Alexia was spending basically every waking moment with Jenni. But it was fine. Jenni was her teammate. They support each other in different ways.)

Alexia called you every night, some nights Alexia fell asleep with the call still connected and you were left to longingly stare at her, longing to be there next to your girlfriend.

Despite her reassurance that she wanted you to bother her, you didn’t want to seem like a needy girlfriend.

So you toned down your texts, looking at updates of your girlfriend through Instagram (it was a bit pathetic). When you tapped on the next Instagram story and it was a video of Alexia giggling with Jenni, you almost lost it. Almost.

They were friends. Best friends. Exes, yes, but their relationship went beyond that. You knew this. You’ve spent hours down the rabbit hole of reading their history on some blog. 

And once again you were left to wonder why Alexia chose you when she can be with her soulmate.

It was an endless cycle and you knew you couldn't go on like this. You had to talk to your girlfriend about your insecurities and just hope that she wasn’t going to think you were silly. 

For now though, you were ready to cheer her on as she took the biggest stage in her career.

All the best teams in the world were great, but Spain was better. Alexia was a superstar, like always.

So of course Spain won the World Cup, you had no doubt about it.

What you didn't expect was Alexia exchanging jerseys with Jenni out of all people. You bit your tongue, the cheers all around you didn't do much to drown the thumping of your heartbeat in your ears.

You loved your girlfriend, you were so proud of her. 

But as your sweet girlfriend celebrated on the pitch with her ex’s name on her chest, you never knew pain like this.

They were World Champions together. How could you even compete with that? It wasn't your name that Alexia was proudly showing off to the world. 

You and Alexia’s family were then escorted backstage. You waited, and waited, swallowing the bitter feeling in your chest. You were happy for Alexia, you really were. But was it necessary to trade jerseys with Jenni? 

Before you knew it, Alexia came barrelling towards you. J. HERMOSO visible across her chest.

You hugged her, whispered how proud of her you were, and when Alexia was whisked off for media duties, you prayed that she wouldn’t come to the same conclusion as you.

Alexia and Jenni had years of memories, years of going through the ups and downs of football together. Them winning the World Cup together just added another notable piece to their already intricate history.

Jenni Hermoso was a million times better than you, her winning the World Cup just sealed it even more.

—

You let Alexia celebrate with her teammates, desperately trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest as you waited for her in your hotel room.

She insisted you come along, but you declined, not wanting to rain on her parade.

When Alexia stumbled into your hotel room later into the night, you traded sweet nothings into each other’s ears as you let Alexia do whatever she wanted to you.

You felt loved, but you still couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in your chest that Alexia could love Jenni better.

—

Being back in Barcelona felt nice.

You were a million miles away from Jenni but still the feeling of insecurity lingered. You knew you had to talk to Alexia soon before it ate you alive.

You just didn't think that it’d blow up to an argument.

You went out with your friends for lunch, promising Alexia that you’d be back in time for your weekly movie nights.

When you entered your shared home you were met with Alexia lying horizontally on your couch.

She was laughing at the TV, too engrossed in whatever she was watching that she hadn’t noticed you coming in.

You went straight to the kitchen, rummaging around your fridge to look for something to do. You weren’t hungry after the lunch you had, but you just wanted to do something. Your hands were full of nerves, mostly due to the annoyance radiating off you.

You were annoyed at your friends and how they kept on making comments about you and Alexia. They didn’t mean any harm, but it got too much.

Before your thoughts wandered further, you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist.

“I didn’t hear you get in.”

You hummed, looking at the ingredients in front of you. Guess you were making some banana bread.

You could feel Alexia’s gaze on you as you basically ignored her. Alexia always knew when something was up with you.

“Is everything okay? Why are you baking?”

You shrugged, getting the necessary equipment from the cupboard.

“Y/N?”

“I just feel like baking,” you didn’t mean to sound curt. Alexia immediately loosened her grip on you, leaning against the counter as she searched for your eyes. 

“Okay… Well, do you want me to help?”

“Not really.” You knew you weren’t being fair—Alexia didn’t do anything wrong—but you had your reasons.

Your reasons were the comments your friends made that reinforced the thoughts you had been carrying around for months. You were insecure, disgruntled, and dejected all at once. 

You paused for a second before blurting out, “Why didn't you want anyone to know about us?”

Alexia froze. The conversation thrown around during lunch earlier kept echoing in your head.

“Was keeping it a secret Alexia’s idea?”

“Why though? Is she ashamed of you or something?”

“Is it true that she used to date Jenni Hermoso?”

“If I used to date Jenni Hermoso then I would never—well, I wouldn’t say downgrade, but…”

“Hey, that’s just mean! Alexia didn’t downgrade with Y/N!”

“You’re seriously picking Y/N over Jenni Hermoso? Y/N, you know I love you, but let’s be serious for a second.”

“Ale, are you embarrassed of me?”

“What?” Alexia was taken aback at your question, a bewildered look settling on her face. “I am not embarrassed of you. Where is this coming from?”

You scoffed. “Then why didn’t you want people to know about us? About me?”

Alexia was speechless for a second, not expecting that this was where the conversation was going. “Because my world can be harsh and I just want to protect you from it. I told you this, amor. We’ve had this conversation before.”

While that used to sound sweet, now it just irritated you.

“Yeah, but I can handle it.”

Alexia gave you a look that said she didn't believe you. You felt offended. Sure, you were an overly emotional person, but you were sure you could handle it. You were handling it. There were people who spewed out nasty comments about you on the internet everyday but you brushed them off—none of their opinions matter to you. 

Your girlfriend’s opinions matter to you.

“Glad to know you think so highly of me,” you sarcastically said, angrily slamming the bananas on the counter. This conversation was really getting on your nerves. You almost wished you didn't bring it up in the first place.

Alexia let out a sigh. “It’s not that I don’t have any faith in you. I just want to protect you. The last time I was in a relationship, it was with someone in the football field,” you hoped she didn’t notice how you immediately stiffen. “I didn’t have to worry so much because she knew how it was—”

You suddenly were so irritated at the reminder of Jenni that you snapped. “I know I’m not Jenni!”

Alexia was surprised at your sudden outburst.

“Qué? I know you are not her—”

“But you wish I was.” 

Alexia looked so taken aback at your accusation that you immediately felt guilty for ever saying it.

“…What?”

But it seems that despite the guilt you felt, the pent up anger inside you was overflowing, desperate to let itself out.

“Jenni is perfect, Jenni plays football, Jenni can handle the media, Jenni knows all your friends and family. Everyone likes Jenni better than me!”

“Amor, no! That’s— Where is this coming from?”

You almost wished you didn’t mention any of this in the first place with the way Alexia was looking at you like a blindsided, kicked puppy. 

You wanted to try to explain your side of things to her. You felt like your feelings about this whole thing were valid, albeit you could definitely handle it differently. Like, not bottling things up until they eventually blew up.

“You’re still good friends with your ex, Ale,” was all you could come up with.

“…Yes? We went through a lot together; she was a big part of my life.” At that you rolled your eyes. Obviously she was a big part of Alexia’s life. Weren’t all exes a big part of our lives at some point?

When you didn't say anything else and continued to prepare for your banana bread, Alexia continued, “It wasn't a bad breakup... We just decided that we were better off as friends.”

Honestly, you’ve had enough of hearing about Jenni.

“That’s exactly it, isn't it? You two went through a lot together, Ale. You won the freaking World Cup together and you went around parading her name on your chest while I was at the stands cheering you on despite having to see you with your ex’s name on all the fucking pictures of you and the trophy. And yeah she lives all the way in Mexico but you have international camps together while I'm at home, watching Instagram stories of you two, wondering why you're still giving me the time of the day when you could be with someone like her? For god’s sake Ale, she's hot! I get it! I do! And she’s 5’9 and I’m not—”

“Amor, stop,” Alexia interrupted your rambling, stepping closer to you but you didn't let her, shaking your head and taking a step away. “Y/N, I had no idea you felt that way—”

“It’s stupid. Forget it.” Embarrassment filled your cheeks.

“No, no, it’s not. It’s not stupid if you feel that way, my love. I’m so, so sorry that I didn't realize how this was making you feel.”

You sighed. It wasn’t Alexia’s fault, you knew that. You should've told her. It wasn't her fault because she didn't know.

You were now even more embarrassed that you let it turn into such a big deal.

So you took one last look at your girlfriend and ran out the door.

—

An hour into your aimless walk, you realized that you didn’t bring your phone with you, which meant you couldn’t Uber your way back home.

You realized that this meant you couldn’t call anyone to pick you up.

To make it worse, the sky started to rumble, signaling that the possibility of a heavy rain was coming sooner than you think.

Everything felt like a disaster.

You slumped down on a nearby bench. You knew where you were, you had no trouble getting home without Google maps. But it was an hour walk here, which meant it would be another hour walk home.

You groaned, thinking of the best way out of this predicament you put yourself in.

It was nearing midnight, but Barcelona had always been a lively place, so there were still plenty of passersby. You could ask to borrow someone’s phone, call Alexia, and wait until she picked you up.

But that would mean a random stranger would have Alexia’s number on their phone. You didn’t know if people would recognize you and put two and two together on who you were calling. You didn’t want to take that risk.

You could call one of your friends, but you didn’t remember any of their numbers.

The only number you knew by heart was Alexia’s. 

Placing your hands over your face, you took a deep breath and pushed back the stinging feeling behind your eyes. You couldn’t cry. You really wanted to because of how pathetic you were, but you couldn’t. You’d just feel even worse.

With every minute that passed by, you started to feel even more guilty at the thought of how worried Alexia must be.

Standing up, you decided you could just borrow someone’s Uber app, or even hail a taxi from somewhere. You decided that you had to go home right now. Alexia must be driving herself crazy when she realized you weren’t one call away.

Just when you were about to step into the direction of two friendly-looking strangers, the first droplet fell on top of your head.

“Fuck.”

Soon enough, the rain went down heavily. Everyone started running in all directions, trying to shield themselves from the pouring rain and you were left standing there, feeling sorry for yourself because great now you were stranded and drenched.

You sat back down and let the rain wash over you, finally letting out the sobs you were withholding.

You had a lot of thoughts in your head, but mostly, you just wanted Alexia. You wanted her right now. If you weren’t such a jealous girlfriend, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You wouldn’t be questioning her decade-long friendship with one of her best friends.

You wouldn’t—

“Amor!”

You whipped your head up and despite the water blocking your eyesight, you could always tell that it was your girlfriend’s figure running towards you.

You were a sobbing mess, sitting all alone in the rain in the middle of Barcelona, but still Alexia managed to find you. Alexia was drenched all over too, no umbrella in sight, as she kneeled down on the pavement and brought your crying face into her neck. 

Alexia pulled back and you could tell that she had been crying too. Great. You felt a million times worse now.

“What the hell are you doing?! You didn’t have your phone with you, I didn’t know where you were!” 

“I’m sorry,” you cried out, your voice barely audible due to the heavy patter of the rain. “I walked for a long time and I ended up here and it was an hour away and I didn’t have my phone, I couldn’t get back home without walking another hour and my feet are killing me and I feel so bad because you must be so worried and it’s all my fault! And now you’re here, I don’t know how you managed to find me but I’m so glad you’re here and oh my god—we’re both probably gonna be sick. I’m sorry! I love you, Ale, I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, hey,” Alexia cooed, placing her forehead against yours. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay. I love you too, please stop crying, mi amorcita. It’s okay.”

You took a deep breath, which didn’t end up helping because having water fall over your head made breathing a bit harder. 

Alexia placed a kiss on your forehead, standing up and pulling you against her.

You felt yourself sag against her, Alexia holding you upright. “Can we go home? I’m really cold.”

“Of course, mi vida. Let’s go home.”

—

Once you got into Alexia’s car, you started to cry again.

Mostly because it was warm and you were so relieved, but also because you felt bad that you were flooding her car with your wet clothes.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

Alexia placed her hands on your cheeks, wiping away your tears.

“I’m ruining your leather seats. Your car is ruined.”

Alexia let out a laugh. You looked at her like she was crazy. “Stop laughing at me,” you cried out. “Ale.”

“Oh, bebé,” Alexia tugged you across the console, wanting to pull you close once more. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise.”

“Then?”

“You’re too cute, you know? This will all dry up, amor. Besides, you’re not the only one whose clothes are wet. Look at me.”

You knew Alexia was trying to cheer you up, but at the reminder that the reason Alexia was soaked in the first place was because of you, you felt your bottom lip start to wobble.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “Now we’re both gonna freeze to death.”

Alexia simply placed a kiss on your cheek, putting the car in gear. “I won’t let you freeze to death.”

Looking out the window and seeing the familiar route home, you felt at peace even though you were still trembling from your wet clothing.

You didn’t know what state you would be in had Alexia not found you. 

“Ale.” 

She looked at you for a split second before redirecting her gaze on the road. “Hm?”

“How did you even find me?”

You saw the smirk before she could answer. “It’s called telepathy, amor.”

“Ale. I’m serious.”

“I’m serious too,” Alexia shrugged, a coy smile on her lips. “It’s our connection, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes at her antics. “Whatever. Idiota.”

Alexia laughed, her hand blindly searching for yours. You let her take your hand, the touch causing warmth to settle deep in your chest.

You didn’t let go of her hand all the way home.

—

After taking a warm shower, you laid on your side of the bed, waiting for Alexia to finish with hers.

(Alexia decided to shower in the guest bathroom, not wanting to invade your privacy in case you were still mad at her.)

(You quickly rebutted her statement and said that you weren’t ‘mad’ at her, just ‘annoyed’.)

Just when you were about to call out her name because Alexia was taking too long when she could shower in under five minutes, your girlfriend appeared, leaning against the doorway of your shared bedroom, a sheepish smile on her face.

“Can I still sleep with you or should I stay in the guest bedroom?”

You gestured for her to join you on the bed, relief falling on Alexia’s face as she approached you. 

Once you were both under the covers, Alexia immediately resumed her position as the big spoon. You placed your hand over hers that was draped across your stomach, feeling a wave of contentment wash over you.

“Can we talk about it?” Alexia whispered.

You didn’t want to. You were embarrassed. But you knew you had to. So you took a deep breath and let out everything you had been feeling for months—how you knew Alexia loved you, but oftentimes your thoughts took over and convinced you that Alexia couldn’t love you fully, not really. Especially knowing that she could have someone as perfect as Jenni.

“Y/N, I don’t want Jenni. I’m not in love with her anymore. You have to believe me.”

“But she’s… she’s perfect for you.”

“You’re perfect for me. It’s you I’m in love with. It’s you I love, Y/N.”

You turned around at the way Alexia’s voice was shaking, which was usually the tell-tale signs that she was about to cry.

And sure enough, Alexia had tears welling up in her eyes and that broke you. Your girlfriend was never one to cry often so the sight made you crumble and realize just how much she was telling the truth.

You reached out and wiped away her tears that managed to escape, placing a soft kiss on her nose. “Please don’t cry, Ale. I’m sorry—“

“Don’t apologize,” Alexia interjected. “You have nothing to apologize for, baby. I’m just sad because you can’t see how amazing you are. It pains me that you don’t see yourself the way I see you.”

“I guess I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you can have someone like Jenni, yet you’re choosing to be with someone like me.”

“Hey, don't be mean to my girlfriend,” Alexia turned serious, staring right into your eyes as she speak. “She’s perfect to me. She’s the only one I’ll ever want. Ever.”

You stayed quiet, taking in her words. You still didn't know what Alexia saw in you, but with the fierce stare full of determination she was wearing, you were starting to believe her. Believe that there were amazing qualities about you that made Alexia fall head over heels in love with you.

“You promise that you’ll love me even though I’m nowhere near as good as Jenni at football and I’m not as famous as her—Ale, I don’t have a World Cup trophy…”

“Y/N, my love, of course I do. I promise. I love you. I do, with all my heart.”

You took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m still going to have my insecurities. They’re not going away just like that.”

“I understand, amor,” Alexia placed her hands on your cheeks, caressing them gently, you could feel her love for you seeping from her fingers. “I’ll tell you everyday that you're all I’ll ever need until you believe me.”

You didn't have to be a footballer and you didn't have to go and win a World Cup, Alexia would still love you for who you were.

—

The opening game of the season fell on your birthday. You were seated at your usual seat with Alba and Eli. Eli had organized a small party after the game, she had baked you a birthday cake and wanted you to blow out the candles before your birthday dinner with Alexia.

When your girlfriend went out to the pitch, your jaw dropped. Instead of wearing her usual 11, she was wearing your birthdate on her back.

She easily spotted you in the stands, pointing at her back then pointing at you. This is for you, you could hear her message loud and clear.

You could cry right there and then. (You did cry).

Later Alexia uploaded her usual post-match Instagram post. The pictures of her wearing the jersey with your number made it extra special, especially the video she included of herself running over to you, lifting you up in her arms, and spinning you around—the happiness radiating from the two of you clearly visible.

The cherry on top was the caption underneath:

special numbers today in honour of my girl’s birthday. te amo mucho, amor @y/n 🥰❤️

All those fears of being not good enough, all those fears of Jenni replacing you, you now thought it was all so silly.

Because you knew without a doubt how much Alexia loved you.

“What are you daydreaming about?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged, a cheeky smile on your face. “Just thinking about how dumb you look with that birthday hat on.”

“Hey! This is all for you, amor!”

You laughed at her pout, the pointy birthday hat still sitting on top of her head. 

You were at one of the fanciest restaurants in Barcelona. Everyone was wearing a fancy dress—you were wearing one too, Alexia on the other hand was wearing a dapper three-piece suit.

You had a birthday hat in your clutch from Alba earlier and once you both had ordered, you took it out and gave it to your girlfriend. You jokingly asked her to wear it, not expecting her to do so.

But when she took it with a roll of her eyes, “anything to make you smile” falling off her lips and she ended up wearing the thing throughout your dinner, you had no more doubt that it was you Alexia wanted.

You didn't have any football silks, you weren’t a World Champion, you weren’t Jenni Hermoso.

But with every waking moment you spent with Alexia, you could feel how much she loved you despite it all.

Especially when Alexia got down on one knee and especially when you had a mini-you running around. You knew that there was nothing in this world that could change what you had with her.

(Not even Jenni Hermoso, who is now someone you call a best friend and the godmother to your daughter).

—

thanks for reading, let me know your thoughts!!🫶🏼

[xxnaiaxx]

You Should Probably Leave | Leighton x Tatum

Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 / of 9.

word count: 26,936

summary:

Leighton hates that Tatum is smart.

At first, it was kind of a turn-on. But now it's just a cruel reminder.

She isn’t oblivious, she knew after they’d broken up that they’d see each other from time to time on campus. It happens with other people she slept with too.

Other people just usually weren’t as smart as her. And didn’t end up in the same classes as her. So when Tatum shows up in Economics II at the start of the semester, it’s sufficient to say Leighton’s pissed.

Chapters 1-5 out and 6 this weekend. Thank you as always to everyone leaving kind comments/inboxes and kudos!

[xxnaiaxx]

I am hurt. I am full of rage. I am physically sick every time I open Twitter. To anyone feeling the same thing I am after last night, if you need someone to talk to, my DMs are always open. We will get through this. We will fight. We will not go back. It’s okay to rot in bed, to be depressed. If you’re feeling suicidal, these are some numbers that won’t contact police. And remember:

Trans rights MATTER.

Women’s rights MATTER.

Black Lives MATTER.

Equal Marriage rights MATTER.

LGBTQIA+ rights MATTER.

BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS MATTER.

[xxnaiaxx]

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[xxnaiaxx]

alexia in her full suited glory! 😮‍💨

source: fcbfemeni on instagram

[xxnaiaxx]

"alexia i want to play mario kart hand the controller over."

"no."

blurb about it possessive ale over her xbox

annoying bf alexia, my religion controller freak II a.putellas

you glanced up from your book and sighed seeing the game still going, your girlfriends feet resting in your lap as she stretched out comfortably, eyes trained to the tv.

"ale." you wiggled her foot as she hummed, eyes never leaving the game. "how long?" you asked for what seemed the tenth time, awaiting your turn to use the nintendo switch you shared.

"soon." she replied curtly making your eyes roll and your book snap shut, placing it down beside you and leaning against the back of the couch with a sigh.

you noticed the countdown in the top right hand of the screen, perking up a little seeing there was only 4 minutes left of her game. "mierda!" the blonde swore as the opposition scored, grumbling in annoyance as it was now locked 2-2.

"who are you playing against?" you asked curiously seeing she wasn't on the solo mode, tapping your fingers absentmindedly against her ankle, repeating the question a little louder when she didn't answer.

"mapi." she finally answered, shaking her foot and muttering for you to stop tapping her as you huffed and sank further back into the couch staring up at the ceiling.

you hummed away to a song stuck in your head, lifting your head a little as your girlfriend dug her heel into your thigh. "sh amor." she warned quietly, eyes narrowed at the screen and you sighed again seeing there was 3 minutes added time.

"no, no no no!" you were again snapped out of your daydreaming by a loud groan, mapi apparently having scored as the game ticked down to its final minute and you waited patiently until the whistle blew.

"puta estúpida!" your girlfriend grunted as she dropped the controller in her lap and dragged her hands down her face making you chuckle. "it's only a game baby." you reminded with an amused smile, squeezing her ankle.

but before she could respond her phone rang, feet swinging out of your lap as she sat up to grab it off the coffee table, clicking answer.

"qué maria?" alexia rolled her eyes, and you couldn't quite make out what her best friend was saying on the other line but if the faces the blonde was pulling at her words was any indication of it, alexia was not happy.

you shook your head with another chuckle as she clicked end call, tossing her phone back onto the coffee table with a thud and a huff that made you wince, muttering angrily under her breath and taking the controller in hand.

you held out your own expectantly, but your smile turned to a frown as alexia loaded up another game, rummaging beneath the coffee table and pulling out the headset neither of you ever really used.

"ale!" you huffed, kicking her as she glanced to you and raised an eyebrow, adjusting the headseat to sit snugly on her ears. "qué estás haciendo?" you questioned, holding your hand out again.

"playing mapi, she thinks she can win again in pro!" alexia mocked with a roll of her eyes as you looked on uncaring. "we had a deal, after that game it was my turn?" you reminded, clearing your throat when she didn't respond.

when you first purchased the console alexia couldn't have been less interested, but it allowed you to play against your friends back home in england and she knew that was important to you.

but then she'd learned she could play against her friends here, and that fifa was switch compatible, which you could thank mapi and patri for. now the blonde could be horribly possessive over the console, and quite the bad loser.

yet anytime you flagged buying a second one for your shared bedroom she would assure that wasn't necessary, distracting you with kisses and leading you to the bedroom in question, pushing you down onto the mattress and grinning down at you, promising there were other games the two of you could play together without needing any sort of console.

"one more game." she waved you off like you would a fly causing you to scoff. "ale!" you kicked her again as she pushed your foot away and began to select her starting 11. "alexia!" you stood and yanked the headseat down to her neck.

"que? stop!" the blonde huffed, looking up at you with a frown. "alexia i want to play mario kart. hand the controller over! we had a deal." you tried to grab it from her but the taller girl effortlessly held it out of reach.

"por favor princesa, one more game!" the catalan smiled charmingly, but it was wiped from her face as it would appear the headset kicked in, alexia swearing down the mic at her best friend to shut up.

"not you! mi amor i did not mean you!" alexia groaned as you huffed and went to leave the room. "no, stay." her hand snagged the back of your shorts, which were really an old pair of her national team shorts you'd stolen as pajamas, tugging you down onto the sofa.

"no! this is boring, y me has cabreado!" you warned sharply, wrenching her hands off of you where they tried to pull you to lay down beside her.

you heard an ooo over the headset and some teasing jests from the spaniard on the other end about how you clearly wore the pants in the relationship and alexia needed to step up.

eyes narrowing your hand fell to the back of the blondes neck pulling her closer to you, grabbing the mic wrapped around her and growling a warning into it which silenced the younger girl on the other end, a quiet apology mumbled instead.

"por favor bebita, stay?" alexia muted the headset and pouted, long arms wrapping around your torso and pulling you into her, peppering kisses to your jaw with mumbled pleadings.

"bien! one more game, and then i get it for the rest of the night." you gave in with a sigh, a large hand grabbing your jaw and tilting your head back allowing the midfielder to capture your lips in her own.

"vale! get on with your game putellas." you blushed a little as her tongue swiped the roof of your mouth, the older girl pulling away with a grin and letting go of you, kissing your cheek and patting her lap, your legs swinging up into it as you laid down and got comfortable.

you started to doze off as you grew bored of watching her play, awoken every time she or mapi would score with a victorious yell or annoyed groan, the girl grabbing your hand and kissing your knuckles apologetically when she noticed she'd startled you.

you excused yourself to get some water and use the bathroom once the game was almost done, grabbing out some snacks to munch on while you played, a happy vamos sounding from the living room telling you alexia had won this time.

you smiled with amusement at the sounds of her teasing her best friend, rolling your eyes fondly at her somewhat childish behavior, a side of her that only a handful of her inner circle really got to see from the stern captain.

you knew she wasn't much more than a huge baby at times, often clingy and needy for your attention to be on her whenever she demanded.

flopping her taller body on top of you with a huff and tapping your side when she'd had a bad day you knew she'd want to be cuddled and have her back scratched, letting down the firm walls she'd had up all day and letting you charge on in to make her feel better.

however, today was not one of those days.

"alexia!" you scoffed seeing she'd started another game as you returned to the living room, her headset on she wasn't paying attention and jumped as you pulled it off, snatching the controller from her hand and clicking pause.

"qué demonios? bebé!" the footballer huffed trying to take it back as you held it out of reach, standing while she was sitting, her grumbling something quietly to mapi on the mic before muting it.

"you said, my turn. off!" you warned, shooing your hands for her to move as she shook her head. "one more game. we break the tie!" your girlfriend pleaded, hands clasped together and bottom lip jutted out though this time all you did was roll your eyes.

"no. move!" you warned, alexia scoffing and standing to her feet, though as you went to take her spot you squealed as she tackled you onto the couch, the two of you wrestling for the controller in your hand.

"alexia! estás siendo un niño." you grunted, trying to fight her off but the girl much stronger you knew it would be only seconds before she easily plucked it from your grip. "one more game. then your turn!" sure enough she grabbed it without much struggle.

"ow! princesa." alexia whined as you rammed your foot into her ribs with a glare. "one more game. one more game. liar!" you mocked then hissed, grabbing the bag of pretzels and storming off to the bedroom, making a point to slam the door behind you.

you weren't surprised when a few moments later it creaked open, your girlfriend stood staring at you as you pretended to be super interested in the show playing on the tv, refusing to even glance her way.

"hermosa?" alexia called cautiously, wincing at the vicious glare you shot her way. "we play now? together?" the blonde asked hopefully, holding up two controllers she'd already fitted into the wheels you liked to use as you ignored her.

"por favor, i want to play the eh, driving game with you." she moved to sit on the end of the bed and you hated that she knew you often crumbled when she spoke english finding it adorable.

but when that didn't work she repeated herself again, this time poking your foot as you huffed and tucked your knees to your chest.

"amor!" the girl whined as you gave her the finger in response, shoveling a handful of pretzels in your mouth and rolling your eyes.

"come play with me." alexia laid down on the bed, grabbing the bag of pretzels in your lap and moving them out of your reach, wiggling so her head laid in its place instead as again you rolled your eyes.

"hola guapaa." she sang out, reaching a finger up to poke at your cheek as you firmly pushed her hand down and away from you. "do these work? or not work?" her other hand reached up as her finger poked inside your ear and you cringed.

"stop!" you grunted pushing her other hand away and trying to shake her head off your lap but it was to no avail.

"stop staring at me." you muttered, grabbing one of the many throw pillows on your shared bed and covering her face with it, a hint of a smile passing your lips as you were dangerously close to breaking.

"i will play as the girl you do not like. the ah...the princess apple?" your girlfriend tossed the pillow away and guessed, your teeth clamping down on your bottom lip to stop from smiling.

"peach, princess peach." you muttered in correction, still refusing to look down at her as she hummed. "ah! still a fruit, lo sabía." the footballer clicked her fingers with a nod, other hand messing with the hem of the over sized graphic michael jordan t-shirt covering your top half, which also belonged to her technically.

"stop." you smacked it away as she tried to sneak it underneath, nails grazing your stomach lightly as a grin curled into her features. "no, come play the game with me." within seconds she'd wiggled her body more so her head disappeared beneath your shirt.

"ale!" you squealed as she blew a raspberry against your stomach, smacking the side of her head where it was tucked under your shirt and pushing her off of you. "you are so annoying!" you huffed, her large hands catching yours as they tried to smack her again.

"let go." you demanded trying to pull away but it was no use as she held on with a smirk of amusement at your attempts. "alexia!" you groaned, head thumping against the headboard with a tired exhale.

"me amas." the catalan grinned, kissing your palms one by one and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and puckering her lips at you as you glanced down to her, that being the final straw that broke you as you let out a sigh and rolled away from her, pushing up and off the bed.

you watched as she looked on like a kicked puppy from where she still lay on the bed as you hovered in the doorway, rolling your eyes and gesturing toward the living room with a nod of your head.

"well what are you waiting for? vamos! princess apple."

[xxnaiaxx]

Breaking point | Reneé Rapp x Reader

Where Reneé comforts you after exam season gets the better of you

Warnings: reader has anxiety, adhd, and an ed. If there any inaccuracies please let me know!

Reneé masterlist | Words: 1.5k

-----

Exam season was hated by most, and rightfully so. The stress put on students to learn everything the semester was for not just one subject, but all of them in the matter of a few weeks, was an insane amount. For you it wasn’t just stressful, it was almost impossible.

You had been at it for weeks now, sitting at your desk and trying to get the information in your brain. At this point you wondered what the use was. No matter how long you stared at the pages, none of the words you read stuck. Your ADHD was making it harder to focus than ever. Every noise, or glimpse of something in the corner of your eye, pulled your focus away.

The room was a mess. Textbooks, notes and flashcards were scattered not just on your desk but across the floor. Usually your chaos had some organisation to it, but now it was all just laying somewhere random. You cursed yourself for straying from your usual organisation, cause you couldn’t find anything, which only fueled your anxiety more.

On your desk also stood four half-full glasses with different contents, all started but long forgotten about before getting a new one. That seemed to be your pattern these days, starting something, then getting distracted and never finishing it. 

Food was a whole new topic. Your girlfriend had brought you a plate of food for breakfast earlier today. The gesture was really sweet, but even the thought of taking a bite was too much. Your mind convinces you that you didn’t deserve to eat until you retained some of the knowledge. Even though you were well aware that your body needed the nutritions, your brain kept you in the constant cycle of not being worthy of a meal.

You stared at the pages before you, and all the words blended together. This was no use. All subjects merged together, and you didn't think you could ever make sense of any of it. Your chest tightened as your mind started racing again. I am a failure. I can’t do this. Why can’t I just focus like everyone else? The more you tried to calm yourself down, the worse it got.

Before you knew it, your frustration boiled over. With a huff, you swipe your desk clean, sending everything crashing to the floor. The clash of your drink glasses and plates breaking onto the floor, matched with the scream you let out in frustration, makes your girlfriend rush into the room.

Reneé finds you on the floor with tears streaming down your face, trying to pick up the broken glass. “Baby?” She said softly, keeping her voice calm, even though her worry was still noticeable in her tone.

You look up at her with tears in your eyes. “I can't do this anymore.”, you sobbed. Reneé crouched down beside you, and took your hands in hers. “It's okay. Let's take a break, alright?” You shake your head, “I can't. I have to keep going.” The words echoing in your mind all rush out. “I have to get this done. I am running out of time. I can’t fail this.”

Reneé takes your hands in hers, a way to give comfort, but also to make sure you wouldn't cut yourself. “I know, darling,” Reneé said softly, her voice steady as she looked into your eyes. “But right now, you’re too frustrated. That’s not going to help you focus. You need a break, just to breathe, okay?”

You don't respond, but stop resisting, so Reneé stands up slowly. “Come on, I'll run you a bath to relax.” You let her help you up and fall into her arms. “I've got you baby.” She walks you to the bathroom, and helps you get ready for the bath. “Just try to clear your mind for a moment, I will be right back.” She placed a soft kiss onto your forehead before she left the bathroom.

With your eyes closed, you tried to push down the way your mind was racing. It took a while but then all of a sudden your mind was quiet, and you let the tension leave your body, and lay back in the bathtub.

In your study room, Reneé carefully cleaned up the broken glass. When all of the broken pieces had been thrown away, she took a look around the room, and realised that there was no order to your chaos. She knew you well enough to know that this wasn’t your system, and also good enough to know what was. She spent some time organising your notes as best as she could before she deemed the room ready.

She had also seen the untouched plate of food, and realised that you were probably struggling with it more again. Reneé had been there through the ups and downs of your eating disorder. You had been doing quite well with it recently, having it under control most days, but she should’ve known that the amount of stress you were feeling would affect that control.

Before she heads back to the bathroom, she heads into the kitchen and prepares some toast. Toast was the most likely item of food for you to be able to eat, and she hoped that today was one of those days where your mind would allow you to have at least a couple of bites.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she walks in and sees you have been able to let go of some of the stress. “Hi baby.” She lets her hand fall over yours as she kneels down besides the bath. You open your eyes slowly, “Thank you.” Reneé always knew what you needed, and you would forever be grateful that she would take care of you in your lowest moments.

Reneé had grabbed you some comfy clothes, and had gotten into some herself as well. You got dressed and she brushed your hair for you. “I made some toast, if you would like to have some. If not, we can just sit in the kitchen for a bit and talk.” You nodded in agreement, knowing that you needed some time away from the study room before you would be able to have any luck in retaining any of the information.

You took a look at the toast, and your mind had already decided that taking a break was more than enough of a freebie, so eating wasn’t going to be allowed either. To try and distract yourself from that fact, you chatted with your girlfriend. 

While getting distracted was usually something that frustrated you, getting distracted by your girlfriend had a different effect. It was easier to focus on her, when she talked about something she loved with nothing but passion, it was like you got sucked right in.

Without even realising it, you had taken a couple of bites of your toast, while listening to Reneé talk about a song she had started working on earlier today. Reneé noticed, but was quick to hide her proud smile, to not put the focus on that in the hopes of you getting a few more bites in.

It was only when you went to grab another piece of toast, and there was nothing left on your plate, that you realised you had been eating. “Wait, I just did that?” Now Reneé openly showed her proud smile, “You did.”

You looked at your plate in disbelief. “I can’t believe I just did that.” Having a meal without thinking about it was not something that often happened. “I’m proud of you darling.” She reached out her hand over the table and held yours.

“I know it’s a big ask, but what do you say we take the rest of the day off and just do some relaxing?” Your eyes shot up at her, and she knew instantly that she had to convince you further. “Movie night now, so you can be all recharged for tomorrow. I can even help you study like before? You can focus on my voice while I read out the information for you. How does that sound?” It took a lot out of you to agree, but you did. “Okay, you go get comfy in bed and pick a movie, and I will clean this up really quickly.” 

A few minutes later Reneé joined you in the bed and the two of you cuddled up together. “Thank you for always taking care of me.” You say softly. “Of course, I will always take care of my girl.”

While the exam season wasn’t over yet, you knew that the break tonight was necessary to push forward tomorrow. With that thought in mind, you were able to push away the stress you were having momentarily and enjoy the movie with your girlfriend.

-----

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[xxnaiaxx]

Alexia - family backyard BBQ - “I’m going to marry you”

ring first II a.putellas

"-how you say it?" alexia frowned, sat on the counter watching you cook as you turned around with a smile. "marry me chicken." you repeated for the third time, the catalan woman mumbling it under her breath but not looking any less confused.

"por qué? you marry the chicken?" the midfielder questioned with an adorable look on her face making you laugh. "when you eat it, you will understand." you promised her with a grin, swatting away her foot with a playful glare as it poked at your ass.

"are you going to do anything to help? or just sit there and ask me questions?" you raised an eyebrow, moving the chicken to the side so you could focus on the sauce.

"princesa you told me you did not want help to cook!" your girlfriend scoffed causing you to roll your eyes fondly.

"you could go and change the sheets on the bed over, so they are done when we get back tonight." you suggested, turning back around and feeling her hazel eyes roaming over you from behind.

"lo siento, no entiendo inglés." alexia sighed with a shake of her head as you paused, narrowing your eyes at her over your shoulder. "lo siento, no más sexo." you shrugged, grinning to yourself at the way the blonde scrambled to jump down from the counter.

"alexia!" you laughed as her arms looped around your waist, peppering kisses all over your face and mumbling apologies. "go and make the bed!" you ordered, pushing into her and nudging her away, her hand grabbing your chin and pecking your lips twice as you hummed.

"te amo." alexia stated as again you only hummed, turning back to the stove as the catalan frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "te amo!" she repeated louder this time assuming you hadn't heard.

"sorry, no spanish." you glanced at her with an apologetic pout, squealing at the way her hand connected with your ass with a huff. "i love you. go be useful!" you pushed at her shoulders, the footballer grumbling her annoyances but going to do as you'd asked.

"ah! no." you smacked your girlfriends hand as you were covering the chicken with foil, everything else packed and ready to go as the two of you were about to head off to her mami's house for a family bbq.

"que? mi amor, one taste." alexia tried again, knuckles rapped with the handle of the ladel you were using to get the last of the sauce into the container as she gasped.

"at dinner? you can have as much as you want." you promised, kissing away her protests as the taller girl melted, as always she was wrapped around your little finger.

"is alba meeting us there or did you say you would pick her up?" you questioned, alexia's head a little woozy as you pulled away, the blonde nodding wordlessly as you grinned, patting her cheek lightly with a wink.

"close your mouth putellas, you'll catch flies."

there was a collectively loud cheer as the pair of you walked out into the backyard, already having been greeted by a handful of alexia's tia's and her mami eli who were in the kitchen getting everything ready.

despite the fact you'd been broken apart to continue with the greetings you were acutely aware of your girlfriends eyes on you as you made your way around the yard, hugged and kissed by her relatives who took you in as one of their own, your own family still based in england but they adored alexia just as much as hers cared for you.

and sure enough just like a magnet the moment she was free again she was drawn to your side, an arm settling comfortably over your shoulder as you leaned into her, the pair of you taking a seat and joining in with conversation.

it was about an hour later that the food was ready and your eyes almost bugged out of your head at the sheer amount of it, easily enough for a small army despite the fact there couldn't have been more than fifteen or so people present.

"i told you to bring the eh...how you say? tupperware?" alexia mumbled in your ear, accented english making you laugh and smack her chest with a grin. "sí, but when does your mami not already send us home with a doggy bag?" you quipped, watching her eyebrows furrow together as alba handed the pair of you a plate each.

"dog? que? why would mami give us a dog?" your girlfriend questioned as you bit your lip to stop from teasing her, knowing that as much as her english was better than your spanish, there were still some idioms that flew over her head.

you settled for an amused smile, merely pecking her lips and chuckling as her younger sister made a gagging noise in front of you, alexia's hand shooting out to smack the back of her head as they started to bicker.

that all fell silent as eli popped up out of nowhere, a stern glare and they were already focused on food again, alexia dishing up for the pair of you as you swooned at the small gesture, kissing her cheek in thanks as you both took a seat at the table.

"marry me chicken." alexia pointed to the dish on her plate as you nodded, a slight blush on your cheeks as praise was tossed at you all across the table from her family who'd already started to eat, a laugh leaving your lips as you promised eli you'd show her how you made it.

"good?" you asked as alexia took a bite, pausing for a moment to chew and swallow as you traced circles against her thigh under the table, awaiting her response.

"i am going to marry you." was all the midfielder said, grabbing your face in her hands and pressing a kiss to your lips causing cheers and whistles to errupt as your neck flushed bright red, grinning as your girlfriend began to shovel food into her mouth.

"ring first my love." you teased quietly in her ear, squeezing her knee and tapping your finger with a sly smile, attention captured by her cousin across from you who asked a question, missing the way alexia stared at you adoringly.

little did you know, the ring was already sorted, and true to her word alexia was going to marry you, and nothing else made her heart soar more than the thought of soon getting to call you her wife.

[xxnaiaxx]

the love you have is better spent in some other place

knowing love and accepting love are two different things.

despite the menacing title+summary, it's not all doom and gloom :)

The funny thing about Alexia Putellas is that she's the version of herself she always imagined to be when she was younger. Yet, at the same time, she's nothing like she thought she would be. 

She's as good at football as she knew she could be. All the titles one could want, she has them under her belt. There are all kinds of awards scattered around her apartment, as well as her family home in the care of her mother. Stadiums chant her name in the same way she witnessed at Camp Nou with her father's hand in hers as a young girl. The combination of her name and number is spotted on the back of nearly every Barcelona shirt around the world, treasured near and dear to millions of hearts in the same way she cherished her Xavi shirt. 

Her wildest dreams had come true when it came to her career. But in her personal life, things weren't quite the same. 

Alexia had known from a younger age than most that she would end up marrying a woman rather than a man. That she would be the best spouse she could possibly be for her own wife. And when that opportunity seemed to arise, having a partner to love who is at her side throughout everything, it came at the most inconvenient time for her.

She acknowledged that, but failed to be the greatest version of herself for the woman of her dreams. Just as she was back from her injury, after winning the most notorious trophy of them all with her country and feeling like the world was hers, it all came falling down. The timing of it was exceptionally awful.

Football wasn't quite the same for her. Something was off. Her knee felt heavy, and it was evident in the way she played. Every game, it got worse and worse. With that came the anxiety, the doubt, the shame that she wasn't who she once was. And maybe she never would be that version of herself again.

That's when you came in. A saving grace, almost. Just one day in November weeks before her arthroscopy, the last attempt to recover and reinstate her name into the sport she loved, you and all you were walked in and flicked the lights in her desolate heart back on. You were a reminder of who she could be, you gave her a reason to change her ways, and if she never returned to football again, at least you never knew that part of her. She could take the fresh opportunity with you and grow into it, without having to face the embarrassment of no longer being the dominant figure of European football.

But she couldn't change her ways. Despite the fact that she didn't have to shy away from who she was, despite the fact she recovered and the surgery was as successful as it could be, she couldn't change her ways.

If Alexia had known about the deep-rooted problems she had surrounding love, she wouldn’t have put you through those first few months of your relationship. That time of her life was a dark one, where she hated the world just as much as herself, until you came along. Like the light at the end of the tunnel, she headed towards it, but with each step she took, the light never got any closer. It stretched on, slipping between her fingertips like water. The affection you gave her was there, but she never quite accepted it for herself. And it ate her up inside, gave her even more reason to loathe what her life had become.

In no way was it your fault, she knew from the moment she left you the night of your first date that there was so much wrong with her. Instead of working on those things, she chose to be selfish. She wanted you, despite the fact she didn’t want herself, and sure, maybe it did work out in the long run. But if time travel became a thing, it wouldn’t take her longer than a second to decide to go back and change her whole approach to falling in love with you. For her, that period of time was tarnished by her internal torment, when she should have given in to the desire to fall into your arms with no second thought rather than ruminate on all the wrong-doings she had been through.

Something had to change, she had to change, to ensure that didn't happen. She just didn't know how. How does one fix something that's been broken for years? Where does she even start?

Love was something everybody chased, whether that be platonically or romantically, and it was a bizarre concept, really. Was it a universal thing, or just something that occurred in this world only? What happened on the other planets? If there is life out there, what do they chase? Love, or something else?

Alexia began to think it was the latter, and that there was something so deeply wrong with her for her to reject such a beautiful idea when it was all anybody longed for. Almost as if her problems were alien to everyone else, because even her friends and family looked at her in utter confusion when she first stated she didn’t intend to go on a second date with you. Underneath the facade, there was nothing she wanted more than to chase the love you had to offer. She needed it, like food, like water, like oxygen. Why couldn’t she accept it for herself? It was something she wasn’t able to understand, and it felt unnatural to reach out and tell you how much she enjoyed the evening with you when her skin crawled at the hands of the devil on her shoulder, spewing all kinds of hate and insecurities in her ear.

She did it anyway, and it had worked itself out eventually. That’s how she had got here, months later, laying on her sofa with your arms around her and her head on your chest, finally at a place where she could accept your love with no second thoughts. However, the guilt still ripped through her whilst you were none the wiser (or so she thought), and she wanted that to change. That filled her with fear, approaching a topic she could barely stomach thinking about, but you had stuck around all this time and if it scared you away now, she was the only one to blame that she couldn’t have relished in your love longer.

—

The first time that you noticed something might be amiss with Alexia was after the third date. You’d known each other for a number of weeks now, and spoke near enough everyday. It was hard for the footballer to find time in her schedule to fully dedicate her time to you, which is how you ended up texting each other almost all day every day. But on the fourth date, when she joined you for breakfast one morning, she walked in like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

Each time you had seen her, there was a look in her eye that drew the image of a dark cloud following her wherever she went, but as soon as she settled into your company, it went away. She smiled, she laughed, her eyes creased with unfiltered joy when she was with you. Yet, when it was time for you to go your separate ways, that cloud loomed again. It weighed so heavily upon her, it was almost as if you could feel it too. Still, that didn’t deter you from falling in love with her.

There was something different about her though, on that fourth date. It was hard for you to not feel a little anxious when she sat down and that cloud didn't drift away like it usually did. The thought consumed you; maybe she was growing tired of you, since you didn't seem to have the same effect on her anymore. As it turned out, that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Just as you were about to leave for work, she reached out to take your hand as you bid each other goodbye outside of the café, and she leaned down to kiss you. It wasn’t the first kiss you had shared, but for some reason it felt like the last. There were too many emotions tied into it, and instead of getting that fluttery, lovesick feeling you got when you kissed her, all you felt was dread. 

However, before you could ruminate on that thought, she saved you the anguish and pushed through the mental roadblock that tried to stop her from being honest, and told you what was on her mind. She went against her instinct and opened up, for your sake. 

“I am having surgery after Christmas. It’ll be some time before I can go on a date like this with you again and I don’t expect you to wait for me. So… I am giving you an out.”

The look in her eyes had darkened, a facade built to temporarily shield her from the pain of hearing you agree and watching as you walk down the street, out of her life. Because how could you be with someone that was putting their weakness on show? How could you want to stay with someone that’s admitting there is something wrong with them? It went deeper than just a medical procedure, this surgery, it ran so much deeper and Alexia knew that you understood that, it didn't take a genius to piece the puzzle together of what was weighing her down. That’s why she was giving you an out.

You didn’t want an out. You wanted to stay. And you would go to the ends of the earth and back to make sure Alexia knew that.

“No. I don’t want an out. I want you to let me in, to let me stay.” You told her definitively, taking a step closer and looking up at her with concern etched all over your face. If the way she leaned into the hand that rested on her cheek after that was anything to go by, you knew she was fighting tooth and nail to keep her emotions at bay. “I don’t want to go. I want you, Alexia, and all that comes with having you. And most of all, I want you to believe me when I say that.”

Everything in her body told Alexia to refute that, to shake her head and to walk away for you. She knew she couldn’t be the partner she wanted to be, with all that came with having surgery, and she adored you too much to sit there and watch you shrink into yourself as a result of her own fatalistic miserableness.

However, she went against her instincts once more, and simply nodded once as her lower lip quivered. That gave her away; her whole demeanour cracked then, as you wrapped her up in your arms and hugged her tightly. It didn’t last long, Alexia wouldn’t allow that for herself, but it was enough for you. You’d take it for now.

Even despite the confirmation from you, Alexia didn’t believe you would stay. That wasn’t a problem because of you, it was because of her. The blonde thought the world of you, but not for herself. She had been labelled the best in the world countless times, but the events of the past eighteen months had caused her to strip herself of that title. In her mind, she wasn't worthy of your time and care, you deserved better than the grumpy version of her that she would be until she heard back about her surgery results.

And to no one’s surprise, it was her insecurities that underestimated you. Because you showed up the day after her surgery with open arms and love in your heart.

Alba had somehow gotten your number whilst Alexia was in the operating room, and had formed a plan with you. The younger Putellas had heard about you very briefly from her sister over the last weeks, and though she couldn’t pull more information from her sister no matter how hard she tried, it was unfortunately a gene in the Putellas-Segura family that everyone held their true feelings in their eyes. It just didn't help that Alexia wore her heart on her sleeve too. 

Alba thought of herself as somewhat of a professional when it came to reading Alexia, and she could see it in Alexia’s eyes how much she adored you. That point was further backed up by how Alexia, under the influence of some strong pain medication, spoke about you so lovingly as tears trailed down her cheeks. She spoke quietly, because even when she wasn’t sober, her subconscious knew what a sensitive topic it was for her, despite how the doubtful voices had been silenced. 

And it was then that Alba had snuck out of the hospital room and called you, forming a plan for you to visit Alexia and inject some light back into her life as she recovered. It would be some time before the results of her arthroscopy were clear, and Alexia was anything but patient especially when it came to football. Everyone close to her knew she would be miserable, stuck at home on the couch or in bed, and there was hope that you would cheer her up.

You did. Though it took some time to extract that truth from her, you did cheer her up from the moment you walked in. Alba greeted you when you first arrived, speaking in a hushed voice for a few moments outside the front door to update you and ask how you were, before she left the two of you alone.

“Hey Ale.” You smiled, slowly making your way over to where she was sat up on the sofa with her leg resting and bandaged.

“What are you doing here?” Alexia asked in a slight grumble, though that same dreamy look in her eyes made an appearance for just a second. You caught it and instantly felt reassured by that one small notion, a little more confident.

“I thought I would come and surprise you. Cheer you up a little bit.” You told her, sitting down beside her but being mindful of leaving a space so as to not overload her.

“But it is Christmas. You should be with your family.” You just shook your head at that. 

“The woman I'm falling in love with just had surgery. I wanted to come and check on her.” A glimpse of a smile appeared then as you shuffled closer and gently took one of her hands. 

“Falling in love, huh?” Alexia teased after a quiet moment with a smirk, dropping your joined hands into your lap and squeezing yours.

“You're not? I think you would be leading me on then.” You grinned shyly, giggling as she rolled her eyes and tutted.

“I… I am. You do not need to worry about that.”

You could live off of that admission forever. The little moments like that, the small gestures, you quickly learnt that they were how she showed her adoration. That was her being vulnerable, as much as she could, and you could handle that then. When some might have been deterred by it, you gave her a chance. You had a near infinite amount of patience for this woman, because she deserved the world and more. Your goal was to help her understand that. 

She had her reasons for having her walls so high, for struggling to let people in, but you had gotten this far already and you'd be foolish to give up on her.

During that day, you were able to identify something about Alexia. And as the hours went on, it only became clearer and clearer. Even though she was the one hurting, mentally and physically, she would only have it so that she was the one holding you. If you tried to reverse the positions, she didn't let it happen. She would wordlessly reject the idea and carefully move you back to how you were, with no explanation. No matter how many times you tried, she just didn't let it happen.

Even when you tried to make dinner for her, she urged you to sit back down as she tried getting up and cooking instead. That was your final straw. You had patience, sure, but you weren't perfect.

“Alexia, let me take care of you, okay? Let me help, let me be there for you. I'm not above begging, so just let me be a good partner, please?” You sighed in exasperation. A flash of hurt consumed her eyes, but like always, she disguised it in an instant. But it struck your heart like a dagger, knowing you had accidentally targeted her most insecure spot. You couldn't tell if she realised it came from a place of love or not.

“Sorry. I'm sorry.” The blonde muttered under her breath before clearing her throat, her eyes dropped to her hands on her lap. 

Exactly what you were trying to stop, you had made worse.

“Ale.” You murmured softly, placing both hands on her face to get her to look at you. Yet, she still found a way to keep her eyes averted. “Ale, look at me.”

“Do not apologise. You don’t need to.” One of her hands came up to rest on your forearm as her voice cracked and trembled. She sounded so dejected, it tore your heart in two. “I am difficult, I know that. So please… do not apologise. I do not deserve it.”

“What?” You whispered uncertainly, taking a moment to process what she had said. When it clicked, you frowned as you stroked your thumbs over the lines of her cheekbones. “Why would you say that?”

“The way I am, it… it is making you doubt what a good partner you are. But you’re not good, you’re the best I could ask for. And I am pushing you away.” Alexia fretted so quietly her words were almost intelligible. Key word almost.

“No, you are not pushing me away. I am right here, aren’t I? I told you, I’m here to stay.” You paused for a second, a silent moment that caused Alexia’s anxiety to spike. Your next words didn’t exactly help either. “I’m going to ask you a question, okay? Let me ask you something.”

“Okay.” Alexia nodded dutifully, hoping you didn’t see the nervous gulp that followed.

“I want to be your girlfriend. Will you let me be your girlfriend?” 

You gazed at her, eyes full of hope that this would be the moment she let you in. It wouldn't be smooth-sailing from here, you were more than aware of that, but this could be the start of something that would improve both your lives for the better. The start of a life together that could make you better people. 

“Sí. Sí, quiero que seas mi novia. I would love nothing more.” Her reaction was better than you could have wished for.

In an instant, she melted into you; her forehead dropped against yours and tension you didn't even know was there in the first place left her shoulders. You offered your arms out and she leaned forward into you with no second thought. You hoped that was a sign of things to come.

As you expected, though, it wasn’t always that simple. Some days, she was still distant. Not in her affection or attitude, it was just that she was stuck in her own mind more often than you had expected.. Being able to spend more time with her as her girlfriend meant you came to spot the signs, and despite the fact that you didn’t yet live together, things were even more noticeable than before.

Like, for example, when she was especially struggling, but she tried with all her might to hide it. Sometimes, when she was going through a tough week, you could see in her eyes of course the turmoil that dragged her down more everyday. It wasn’t all doom and gloom, there were countless occasions where she was smiling up into her eyes and the two of you were happy together, but for the footballer, joy wasn’t a permanent thing. It wasn’t her average mood. 

Her physical fitness could take her up the highest mountains, but over the years her mental stamina had been stamped on, it had reached its limits, and it couldn't quite break out of the confines of her insecurities. They had no boundaries, they showed up when they wanted and silently tore through her. Those eyes you adored, more often than not, were weighed down by burdens that you probably didn’t even know half the truth about. 

There was one evening, a while after her surgery when she was flying through rehab, that everything reached its peak for her. You decided to surprise her by being at her flat when she got home one day that week – what you were met with was far worse than you could have predicted. 

Your excitement at the sound of the door opening and shutting was swiftly replaced by overwhelming concern at the sound of sniffles that followed. You left the kitchen where you had just ordered Alexia’s favourite takeaway and headed in the direction of your girlfriend’s footsteps that went straight towards the bedroom. Seemingly she hadn't heard you, a curiosity instantly proven true by the sounds of choked cries coming from the figure that was slumped over, her fists leaning on the bed as her chin was to her chest whilst she cried.

Not for a second did you hesitate rushing over, coming to stand by her side and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She startled, unsurprisingly, and moved to hastily wipe the tears away in an attempt to mask the emotions coursing through her nervous system at that moment in time. It was too late, she knew that, but it didn’t stop her.

“Q-qué haces aquí?” Alexia asked, her voice stuttering and shaking as she spoke. Your arm stayed around her, your other hand wiping her tears with a tenderness too soft for her, she thought. “No, por favor.”

“Ale, talk to me. What’s the matter? Please let me in, please don’t shut me out when you’re like this.” The pleas fell from your mouth before you could properly think of what you were saying. It wasn’t the best thing to say, adding guilt to the list of things she was struggling with wasn’t your smartest idea.

“I can’t do this, amor.” 

The statement shocked you, the ease of which it left her mouth was unusual. But the shock wore off quick, making way for the worry that sprung to your mind because that short sentence was enough to signify just how terribly she was feeling.

Her voice was uncomfortably rough as she spoke too, despite her only saying five words, you could tell that she had spent the drive home forcing back her cries. It takes a lot of energy to break down and release everything in sharp sobs, but it takes even more to hold back all that emotion. Forcing back tears hurt, and it wasn’t a surprise that her voice was hoarse and hardly there at all. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You weren’t sure if something specific had happened that day or if this was a build-up of everything, but no matter what it was, you urged her into a tight hug, ensuring she was engulfed in the love you held for her. “You will be okay, Ale, I promise.” 

It took some time for her to calm down enough to talk, but whilst she did, you moved the pair of you onto the bed so you could hold her properly. She didn’t even put up a fight when you urged her to lay on top of you, your arms wrapped securely around her back as she hid her face in your neck. All she did was cry out the mass of emotions that were consuming her, and you just prayed that being there for her as she did so was enough to ease it, even if it was only a miniscule amount. 

Feeling concerned for her wasn’t a new experience for you – feeling downright devastated and grief-stricken for the woman sobbing in your arms was new. Never before had you seen her like this, and it scared you to death. All the possibilities that could be making her feel like this seemed insurmountable, like they were too big a challenge to tackle.

That didn’t matter to you. You would try for her, always.

“Do you feel like you could try to talk to me? Getting some of it off your chest might help.” You said softly, one of your hands slipping under her shirt to trail your fingertips up and down her back, something you knew soothed her. She gave a minute nod, which you felt more than you saw, and it gave you a brief feeling of relief. “Okay. In your own time, Ale.”

A few quiet minutes passed by, the footballer on top of you allowing herself some time to relish in the infrequent position she found herself in. She loved it. And it only gave the insecure voice in her head more ammunition to use against her; why can’t she allow her girlfriend to do this? She can never bring herself to accept it, but the day’s exertion had battered her defiance and left a hollow shell of her persona. If she looked in a mirror, she would probably be unrecognisable to herself. 

Sometimes, in her weakest moments, she thought you were better off without her. Better off not being dragged down by her miserable nature. You, the definition of beauty and light, with someone that exudes negativity and weakness. Someone that is the embodiment of imperfection with a person that is priceless. It didn’t make sense to her still, she wasn't sure it ever would.

“Every… everything is just so hard.” She spoke, letting out a shaky breath into the skin of your neck. You hummed sympathetically, giving her the space to elaborate whilst acknowledging what she had said. “Rehab is so tiring and I do not know why. I am not being given the space I need by the team to recover, they still expect so much from me and there is so much pressure. People online, the media and the fans, are talking about me a lot more than usual, which I do not understand because I am not even on the pitch. Some things that are being said are bad. And… I think I am not what you need, or deserve.”

Her face stayed hidden in your neck whilst she spoke, and you let her do that. Being vulnerable and open like that was hard, you didn’t underestimate that, and you would take it in any form because it was progress. You weren’t happy with what she had said because it broke your heart, but it was the first step of her opening herself up to help.

“Alexia, it is okay to feel overwhelmed. That sounds a lot like what you are feeling right now.” You started, your hand still slowly trailing up and down her back. “I’m so glad you told me, but I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. There’s things that can be put in place to help you.”

You plant the seed, subtly, that she can get help. But really, all you can focus on is the fact they are all things you can help with. With the majority of her admission, they are things that can be changed to lessen the load of her newfound daily life after her second surgery. The last part, you know you can help with indefinitely. It won’t be quick, nor will it be easy, but reminding her of how much you value her is something you planned to do for the rest of your life anyway. Perhaps you just had to do it a bit more than you initially thought.

“You can talk to the team, tell them exactly what you need. They’re sensible, you know that, they’ll do whatever you need them to do. You just need to have the bravery to ask for help, which is a difficult step in itself, but I know you can do it. You’ve told me what’s on your mind and that’s something I’m not taking for granted because I understand it doesn’t come easy to you, and for that I’m so proud of you. So proud. And if you want me to help you come up with a plan of what you need or what you will say to the club, I can help you with that.” 

“You will help me?” She murmured, lifting her head up to look down at you with red, tired eyes and tear streaks down her cheeks. You smiled up at her and nodded, unwinding an arm from around her to brush the damp tracks away.

“With anything. Anything at all, I promise.” You told her, hoping the mixture of your words and the sincerity in your voice conveyed all that you wanted her to understand. “I also think you would benefit from a break from social media and most things online. Why don’t you ask someone on your team to run your accounts for you for a little while? Or ask your agent to hire someone to do that? I think it will be good to step away from that so you can focus on the important things.”

“I have thought about it before.” Alexia revealed a moment later. “I will do that. I should have done it a long time ago. I am thinking about going to see the psychologist for some… help. I will book a session with her tomorrow.”

She seemed to be doing better than she was when you first walked in on her. Her voice wasn’t so rough, it no longer sounded like it was taking every ounce of energy to get her words out, and her breathing was a lot more even than it was a few minutes beforehand. Accepting help didn’t seem so terrifying when the words were coming out of your mouth.

Where before, she was deterred by the idea of reaching out, too focused on her shame to find a way out of her turmoil, now she didn’t feel so scared by it. For so long, the world seemed like a tunnel with no end, but now there’s a crack, however small, giving her a glimpse of what life she could live without being restricted by her burdens. The idea that help is available felt foreign to her, and though she might still be uncertain about the path that had been offered to her, in your arms comforted by the thought of having someone to guide her down it, she found that she could breathe a little easier. There’s a sense of possibility, of no longer having to walk alone.

Hope was beginning to brew inside of her, and she felt compelled to reach out and grasp it with both hands. There was a quiet flicker of warmth that took the place of the cold numbness that once lived on inside her. Neither of you had all the answers in that moment, change doesn’t happen overnight and you both know that, and because of that there is a delicate balance of fear and relief that settled between you. 

It’s the first time since Alexia can remember that she felt like maybe things could change for the better.

“Good. Both those things will be so good for you. I’m so proud of you.” You said, turning to kiss her forehead. 

“It’s not up to you to decide what I need or deserve. I do need you, and I do deserve you. You’re the only one I could ever want, now that I’ve met you I know I could never be with anyone else again. You are struggling, and that’s okay. I’ll be here at your lowest, I’ll be here at your highest, and I know you would do the same for me. You know I love you, right?” 

At your declaration, especially the last part which she had heard a few times now, her heart clenched as she squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to sob again, but out of pure happiness, because regardless of how many times you would say it to her over your lives, it would still be the most important statement to her. Hearing it at that very moment was so important.

“I do. I really do, amor. I just… sometimes I do not understand why.”

You pursed your lips at her response, wondering why the world had to treat her so poorly that her self-worth had been reduced to something so unimportant to her. You know for a fact there’s probably millions of people out there that idolise her, think of her as a hero, the perfect role model, but you also know that the insecurities she had weren’t on Alexia Putellas’ behalf. They were on Ale’s behalf. There were two versions of her, and the powerful woman that adorned the armband day-in and day-out for the club she’s committed her life to wasn’t the one combatting all these issues. It was just Ale, your girlfriend, her mother’s daughter, her sister’s older sibling, her aunt and uncle's niece, the ever-reliant and trustworthy companion of her friends. 

Alexia knew that, and you did too. You couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult that must be to juggle for Alexia, leading two extraordinarily different lives in one lifetime. You hope, with the right help, she can learn to allow them to co-exist together and not be so far away from each other. She had expressed similar thoughts to you before, how difficult she finds it switching between the two everyday, though you knew she probably hadn’t even scratched the surface about how much it affected her. 

You were content with not being fully clued in, because there were some things that people preferred to keep private, and for Alexia one of those things was her thoughts. Your mission was to help her deal with those healthily, unlike how she had for the past god knows how long. Whatever worked for her, worked for you.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’m secure in my love for you, and that’s enough. I know you love me too. That’s all we need.” 

After that day, it was as if a switch had been flicked. There was a distinct difference in her, in all aspects of her life, and she seemed truly happy. You had come to understand that you couldn’t wholly fix her, especially not just with words. All you could do was love her, which you would do for as long as she would let you.

So you met her defiance with kindness, her feigned confidence with support, and her insecurities with reassurance. And slowly, you began to see the progress in her. Truthfully, it might be one of the most beautiful things you'd ever had the privilege to witness. Allowing yourself to feel every ounce of your joy made it easier for Alexia to grow and settle into that prospect of living too. 

Not only did the counselling help her mental health, it made her better at communication, understanding, and just about every other thing that you didn’t even think needed improving in the first place. Each day, you adored her more and more. It takes a lot to accept help, but it’s an entirely different thing to wake up every morning and get out of bed, knowing what lies ahead was unexplainably difficult to overcome but facing it head on anyway.

However, the biggest evident difference came when she was cleared to play football again. With each milestone, came a newer, happier version. First it was being substituted on, stepping foot in a game after months of waiting, and straight after, it was her first goal back. The rain couldn’t dampen her spirits that day, nothing could, because thought past-Alexia would be disappointed with how scrappy the goal was, the new version of her was just happy to have a ball at her feet and making a difference for her team. Maybe past-Alexia would be angry with that fact too, at how overjoyed she was with a goal like that, but she didn’t dwell on that for too long. She was trying to change and she was making better progress than she could have dreamed of, she wasn’t going to stop that.

Her hard work was clear to see in the ache in her cheeks from the amount of time she spent smiling, something she didn’t even realise she had missed. Months down the line and she was in the best place mentally than she had been all her life. With that realisation, came the understanding that sometimes things have to fall down before they can be rebuilt again. She had that moment where she broke, in your arms, and since then she had rebuilt her life. The bad goes in hand with the good, and the highs are undoubtedly worth the lows. 

Though, she still wasn’t perfect, no matter how badly that irritated her. Every part of her had improved, apart from the one thing she did it all for. It did happen less often, but she still doubted her capabilities as a girlfriend. She still worried she wasn’t good enough for you. The cloudy days of anxiety were nowhere near as frequent as they used to be, but they didn’t magically stop. That was still something she had to come to terms with.

—

A particularly harsh bout of anxiety hit one day, something that filled her unease because she thought these kinds of days weren’t supposed to happen anymore. Yet, here she was, lay in your arms as the toxic cycle of doubt circled endlessly in her mind. She tried, with all her might, to shove the thoughts to the side, to rebuke them and not let them ruin her evening, but they came thick and fast and there was simply no stopping them. 

Something her psychologist had told her was that sometimes she just has to sit and let those feelings be. Thinking about how much she loathed them wouldn’t help, that would probably just make them worse. And taking the doubts and fuelling them by ruminating wouldn’t help either. But sitting there and letting them consume her as she did nothing to stop didn’t feel useful. So she let them come, and she took each knot of insecurity and made them bigger.

Nearly every moment of the last few months was tainted by the regret she felt. She really would give anything, she'd sacrifice it all, to go back and show her affection and appreciation more. From the moment she saw you, she knew you were special. She felt like she did a terrible job to show that, to the point where she wondered how she even found herself here right now with you. 

Alexia had never really experienced impostor syndrome before, and she wasn't exactly sure that was the right term for the cloud of anxiety she was experiencing. She didn't doubt her love for you, in fact she was sure she had never loved a human as much as she loved you. It's just that, even after all this time, she still didn't think she deserved to be on the receiving end of such an idyllic thing, especially at your hands.

Her biggest fear, after all this time still, was losing you. Out of all the emotions that she had experienced in the past months, there was one that reigned superior throughout: disappointment.

Disappointment that was aimed entirely at herself. Disappointment that had so many things tied into it, she could hardly keep up. Guilt, shame, embarrassment, when she dumbed it down it all led to that same disappointment she just couldn’t get rid of. 

She knows where she’s gone wrong all this time, she sort of knows why now thanks to her psychologist, but she has no idea how to stop that pattern of thinking, that she doesn’t deserve you. And because of that, a certain feeling of distaste for herself had grown over time, and it sat nestled in the back of her mind. It’s there, always, and it’s not afraid to make itself known. In the most unsuspecting moments, it comes seeping through the cracks of her mind, weaving its way into each and every aspect of her life, whether that be her memories or the present. Another fear of hers was that this disdain wouldn’t ever leave, even with hours spent in counselling and working on herself.

Like now. Even when she’s in your embrace, all she could think about is the guilt she had harboured for so long now, that at this point it felt like a tumour she had ignored for too long, one that had grown so big that it was now impossible to remove without causing more damage than good.

“Ale? You okay?” Your voice brought her back into the room, adding another crack to the fragile glass box Alexia kept her thoughts inside. The blonde felt like that box could shatter again anytime soon, and that would mean all of them could come spilling straight out. And that would be the end of it all, for good this time. Not like the other occasion where you welcomed her with open arms. Surely you would finally recognise you were sick of her when she inevitably falls apart once more.

“Hm? Sí, bien.” She smiled, a tight-lipped one that didn't even come close to reaching her eyes. 

You knew what that was a sign of.

“Ale.” You said softly, hoping you didn’t have to fight her for her to admit there was something wrong.

“I’m okay, mi amor. I’m just going to go to the bathroom, I will be back soon.” She rose to her arms, surging forward to leave a kiss to your lips before you could protest. Then, she was gone, rounding the corner of the lounge into the apartment corridor, leaving you confused.

Five minutes passed by and you let her be, giving her her privacy. But then five minutes turned to ten, and ten to fifteen, and you couldn’t hold off any longer. Just as you expected, when you passed the main bathroom, the door was open and the light was off. It was then, when you looked to your left, you saw Alexia through the crack left by the ajar bedroom door, sat on the edge of the bed facing away. Her shoulders were slightly slumped, her elbows were on her knees, and she was looking out of the window across from her. The only positive was that you couldn’t hear sniffling coming from her this time.

The door creaked as you lightly pushed it open, but the blonde didn’t acknowledge it. At that, you stepped in and kneeled on the bed, making your way to sit behind Alexia and wrap your arms around her as your legs fell either side of hers whilst your cheek came to rest in between her shoulders.

Neither of you spoke; you didn’t want to pressure her into speaking just yet, and Alexia was building up the courage to finally get the last plaguing insecurity off her chest. It’s late evening, the sun growing ever-closer to the horizon, and the only light in the room was the orange haze of the sky, softening every feature of your girlfriend’s face with a golden touch. The light added to her vulnerability, acting as a lamp that displayed the most beautiful artwork you could imagine in a gallery. 

For some time, there’s no movement within the room. Alexia doesn’t tear her eyes away from the sunset before her, though the look that’s embedded in the hazel and amber there is distant, lost in a maze of her own mind that she desperately tried to escape from so she could give you the answers you’re hoping for. The only movement you make is the sporadic kisses you dot over her back, as well as the soft, comforting movements of your thumb over her ribs where your hands sit. 

The silence was weighted, though not with awkwardness or impatience, but with understanding – a silent invitation to speak without any pressure or expectations. In the quiet space you've provided, no words are needed, only the steady warmth of your body against hers that offers a subtle, grounding reminder that Alexia is not alone, and she never will be. You would always be there to give that to her.

“I love you.” Alexia broke the silence but not the bubble of serenity, producing a sentence that was far more layered than anyone outside of this room would ever understand.

“I know.” You reminded her, hugging her tighter back against you.

“I wish I could go back and redo it all.” She stated, a heaviness to it that had you smiling sadly.

“Redo what?”

“Our relationship.” The footballer didn’t miss the way you tensed ever so slightly, nor did she miss how you lifted your head up from its place on her back. “I am so happy I met you. I feel so lucky that you love me, that you chose me, even when I have been a mess. I would only change how I acted, because I feel like I have not properly shown you how much I love you. How special you are. I wish you had got the love you deserved rather than the coldness I showed because… I don’t think I have been a very good partner to you.”

Some time ago, you had guessed this was a part of Alexia’s anxiety, and that point had been proven when she admitted a few months back that she felt you deserved better. But you didn’t know that it troubled her to this extent. She believed the doubtful voice in the back of her mind so much that she truly thought she wasn’t worthy enough of this relationship. That killed you, because she had been nothing but perfect, despite her personal struggles, from the moment you met her.

“You were not cold, Alexia.” You started, kissing the back of her neck before continuing. “You were the opposite. You were warm and kind-hearted. You were compassionate and honest. I look back on those days so fondly because of how you made me feel. From the very first date, you allowed me to be myself and that was something that meant so much to me. And since then, you still surprise me all the time with how amazing you are. To put it simply, Ale, I wouldn't be here if you were cold or a bad partner. There is nobody else for me, it's only you and it'll always be you.”

Maybe this was the one inadequacy you could fix with your words. 

“You really think of me like that?” Alexia asked in a sheepish whisper, turning her head slightly to look at you over her shoulder. You smiled brightly, nodded, and shuffled to sit beside her. One hand came up to rest on her cheek as you leaned forward and kissed her, soft and tentative, to convey all you could never find the words to tell her.

“I do think of you like that.” You whispered against her lips, foreheads together as your thumb lightly brushed over her lower lip. “And I hope one day you can look back and not see your flaws, but instead see the woman I fell in love with.”

She nodded because quite frankly she was speechless. And then there were tears filling her eyes that neither of you expected, which had you moving again as you slotted yourself into her lap. Her head fell to your chest, pulling you against her in a tight embrace. Your arms came around her neck, one laying across her shoulders and the other resting on the back of her head. 

Your words slowly began to sunk in, finally, which was a weirdly cathartic feeling for Alexia. She wasn't sure why it was this specific moment that something snapped inside of her, but it did. What was once a topic that consumed her, took over her every thought and switched it with a venomous onslaught of overthinking suddenly started forming into a thing of the past.

All along, Alexia had no idea just how deep your understanding ran about her insecurity with the love she has to offer. She thought you weren't aware of the guilt she felt and the struggles she experienced, but you were. That, and more. She could never repay you for that. All she could do was love you for a lifetime and hope that was enough.

Half a year ago, you were just two people getting to know each other. You liked her and she liked you. You looked into each other’s eyes and saw a future together. Then, you both took that hope, nurtured it, and made a life for yourselves, together. 

To anyone on the outside, this wouldn't seem like such a huge milestone. But to you and Alexia, this was a major turning point, for the better. Something like this wasn't expected when you first met, but that's the thing about love, isn't it? Nothing good comes easy, a part of life that Alexia had come to accept. Because it was so, so worth it in the end.

—

this fic was a little different but i hope it was good. first one that i have posted in the midst of my writing anxiety so i may or may not be terrified of posting this but well it's out now anyway. hope you enjoyed it <3

[xxnaiaxx]

Could u do a Billie thinking we forgot her birthday but we surprise and her families in on it

hiiii, i hope u like this, mwuak💋✨

The Perfect Surprise

The morning starts quietly, far too quietly for Billie’s birthday. She wakes up, expecting the usual loving wake-up from you—snuggled close, whispering soft “happy birthdays” against her neck—but this time, the bed beside her is empty.

Billie sits up, rubbing her eyes, confused. Maybe you’re planning something later? But as she walks into the kitchen, she’s greeted by the sound of the coffee pot bubbling and not much else. You’re at the counter, busy scrolling through your phone, barely noticing her come in.

She hesitates for a second, waiting for you to say something—anything—but you just look up with a distracted smile. “Morning, babe. Want coffee?”

Billie blinks, surprised at how casual you sound. “Sure,” she mutters, her heart sinking just a bit. You don’t even mention her birthday. No kisses, no grand gestures, not even a birthday card waiting on the table. She’s not one to make a big deal about things, but still… she thought today might be different.

You hand her a cup, still buried in your phone, and she stands there, clutching the warm mug, unsure of what to say. “So… what’s the plan today?” she asks, trying to keep her voice light, hoping to see some spark of surprise in your eyes.

But you just shrug. “I’ve got a few things to do this afternoon. Maybe we’ll watch a movie later?” You glance at her, completely nonchalant, and her chest tightens. You didn’t forget, did you?

Billie nods slowly, pretending it doesn’t sting, and mumbles something about going for a walk. “Clear my head,” she says. You barely look up as she heads toward the door.

The second she’s out, you leap into action. Grabbing your phone, you text Billie’s family: She’s gone! Time to start!

Within minutes, her mom, dad, and brother sneak into the house with bags of decorations and Billie’s favorite homemade dishes. You’ve been planning this surprise for weeks, making sure everything would be perfect. It was hard keeping it quiet, especially when all you’ve wanted to do was shower Billie with love from the moment she woke up. But you knew the payoff would be worth it.

The living room quickly transforms into a colorful wonderland—balloons, banners, and streamers all over the place. Her mom is setting up a dessert table, while her dad blows up even more balloons, laughing as he tries to sneak some extra decorations. Her brother helps hang the banners, making jokes about how Billie will never see this coming. You stand in the middle of it all, watching everything come together, a grin stretching across your face. You can already picture Billie’s reaction, her beautiful green eyes lighting up, that sweet laugh of hers when she realizes what you’ve done.

Your heart swells just thinking about her. You’ve missed her today, even though it’s only been a few hours, and the thought of her walking around feeling forgotten makes you ache a little. But you know that in just a few minutes, she’ll feel all the love she deserves.

As the final touches are put into place, your phone buzzes—Billie’s on her way back. You and her family hurry to hide, ducking behind furniture and turning off the lights. The house falls into a perfect, anticipatory silence.

The front door clicks open. Billie steps inside, her footsteps slow, hesitant. “Babe?” she calls, her voice soft, almost sad. “Are you here?”

The lights flick on.

“Surprise!”

Billie stands frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide as she takes in the scene—her family, the balloons, the decorations, all of it. Her hands fly to her mouth as her eyes immediately fill with tears.

“You… you didn’t forget?” she whispers, her voice trembling.

You step out from behind the couch, walking up to her with the softest smile on your face. “Forget your birthday?” you say gently, pulling her into your arms. “Never.”

She clutches onto you, her body trembling as she lets out a half-laugh, half-sob. “I thought… I thought everyone forgot,” she whispers, burying her face in your neck.

You pull her closer, running your fingers through her hair, pressing soft kisses to her temple. “I’m so sorry, baby,” you murmur. “We just wanted it to be a surprise. I’ve been dying to spoil you all day.”

Billie pulls back slightly, her teary eyes searching yours. “I really thought…” She trails off, shaking her head as she laughs. “I can’t believe this.”

You cup her face with both hands, gently brushing her tears away with your thumbs. “You mean everything to me, Billie. I couldn’t let today go by without making sure you know how loved you are. We’ve all been planning this for weeks. You deserve the world.”

Her lip trembles again, but this time she’s smiling through it. “I love you so much,” she whispers, leaning in to kiss you softly.

Her family cheers behind you, making Billie laugh as they swarm in for hugs. Her mom wipes at her own eyes as she pulls Billie into a tight embrace. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

Billie shakes her head in disbelief, hugging each of them, overwhelmed with emotion. Her brother ruffles her hair playfully, grinning. “We had to throw you off the trail, Bill. No way we’d forget.”

You smile, watching her as she lights up in a way that makes your heart ache with how much you adore her. When she turns back to you, you can’t help but pull her in again, holding her close. “Happy birthday, my love,” you whisper in her ear. “I’ve got more planned for tonight, too.”

Billie pulls back slightly, her eyebrows raised. “More?

You grin, kissing the tip of her nose. “Mm-hmm. A private dinner at your favorite restaurant. But first, let’s enjoy all this.”

Her arms tighten around your waist, and she rests her forehead against yours, a content smile playing on her lips. “You’re amazing,” she murmurs. “I can’t believe I thought you forgot. I should’ve known you’d do something like this.”

You kiss her softly, your heart full as you look into her eyes. “I’ll never forget a single moment that matters to you, Billie. I love you too much.”

And for the rest of the night, Billie is wrapped in love—from you, from her family, from everyone who knows how special she is. And as she dances with you later, the soft glow of candles lighting up the night, she feels like the luckiest person in the world.

[xxnaiaxx]

[xxnaiaxx]

so american

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

summary: in which you struggle with the aftermath of your relationship with natasha, but wanda never fails to help you through it all.

or, the one based off so american by olivia rodrigo.

word count: 11,499

tags: fluff, angst, natasha being a bitch in one scene, this was supposed to be completely fluffy but then i added angst and ended up loving it, they're mostly just two idiots in love, reader gets insecure a couple times, wanda's so in love, everyone say thank you to olivia rodrigo for fuelling all my fic ideas

part one: enough for you

“Why do Americans drive on the right side of the road,” Wanda grumbles as she sits behind the wheel, driving the two of you to your favorite road trip destination, your family’s cottage in Nevada. 

You laugh, kissing her cheek. “Baby, Sokovians do too.” 

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it,” Wanda mutters, cursing under her breath when another right-hand turn takes her by surprise. 

“I think that’s what you get for getting your license in the UK, Wanda,” you tease. “Now you’re all grumpy, and angry, and that milkshake we shared a couple of hours ago definitely didn’t help–”

Wanda gives you a look and you give a cheeky smile in return.

“For the record,” she replies, looking at the road once more. “I didn’t have a choice. I was on a recon mission with Steve, and he told me I couldn’t rely on my powers for transportation all the time.” 

“Well, I think your powers are hot, though.” 

Wanda laughs. “Thanks, detka.” 

“Jesus, I’m cold,” you mutter as goosebumps start to form on your skin. 

Wanda immediately turns down the AC in the car, and you reach into the back for the first piece of outerwear you can find. As you pull your hand back to your body, you realize it’s Wanda’s navy blue hoodie, your favorite piece of clothing of hers. Smiling, you pull it over your head, comforted by the scent of her that enraptures your senses. 

Sighing in satisfaction, you lean your head back into your chair, feeling so much more content than you did a year ago. 

Wanda notices you out of the corner of her eye, and softly says, “You look so pretty wearing my clothes.” 

You smile at her, and Wanda takes your hand in return, as she keeps her other on the wheel, intertwining your fingers together. 

“You’re so warm,” you whisper, feeling so so loved. 

Wanda squeezes your hand tighter. 

***

Wanda’s laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world, you realized the first day you met her. 

You had been sitting and talking the entire morning, Wanda’s smile awakening the constant butterflies in your stomach and setting your heart alive. 

“So,” Wanda rests her chin onto her hand and leans onto her elbow. “What profession are you in?” 

You smile, “I’m an oncologist, but I much prefer the research aspect of things. I find it thrilling.” 

Wanda scrunches her nose. “You find spending countless hours in front of your computer and in a lab thrilling?” 

You laugh. “Sure do. What about you? What profession are you in?” 

“I’m an Avenger, but I work part-time as an English professor at a local university,” Wanda replies, and before you can compliment her on her work as a superhero, she asks another question, still curious about your job. “Why oncology, though?” she asks with her shiny eyes ever so inquisitive. 

“My mom died of cancer when I was 8,” you look into your coffee cup, staring at the liquid as you pop the lid off. “You can probably figure out the rest,” you give a small smile. 

Wanda frowns. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be, it was a long time ago. I’ve made peace with it, honestly.” 

“That’s really amazing though,” Wanda says, struck by how beautiful you were on the outside and inside. 

You blush. “Thanks.” Feeling overwhelmed by everything Wanda was making you feel you decide to tell a joke. “Hey, what do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?”

Wanda tilts her head curiously. “What?” 

“Re-morse code,” you give a small smile. 

Wanda takes a second to process it, but once she does, a huge grin makes its way on her face and she’s laughing. 

She’s laughing, and you want to keep hearing it for the rest of your life. 

Once she’s done, she looks at you with a shake of her head. “That was awful.” 

You shrug. “Made you laugh, though.” 

“You did,” Wanda nods. “And something tells me you’ll keep making me laugh.” 

You blush, people had never really found you funny. Nat didn’t especially. 

But here Wanda was, with her comforting smile that made you feel like you were on fire, and her soft green eyes that made you feel safe, cared for, and loved already. 

Who made you feel like you were funny for the first time in your life. 

***

“Here we are,” Wanda says, stepping out of the car and slamming the door shut. 

You sigh contently, so incredibly happy compared to the dark place you were at two years ago. Sometimes, you still felt the weight of how unloved you had felt. Of how you never felt good enough, never felt worthy of someone caring for you. And every time you ran back into your thoughts, Wanda was there to pull you out of your head and reassure you that you deserved the world. Telling you that she would do her best to give it to you. 

It all felt surreal. Gently, you hear Wanda open the car door to the passenger side. The simple action made your heart flutter. “Ready, detka?” she says, smiling at you. 

Nodding, you exit the car, planting a kiss on her lips before she shuts the door. 

Putting her sunglasses on, she comments, “You know, you’re pretty American for having a cottage. With the beach, and everything.” 

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” you ask. 

“Yep, because you’re an adorable American,” she smiles, kissing you quickly. 

It wasn’t fair of her, to make you feel this much. 

***

Wanda’s on a mission in Russia, and you miss her desperately. You found yourself struggling whenever you were alone, still grappling with the feelings of whether you were enough from two years ago. Your rock was all the way on another continent, too far to reassure you of the constant echoes of awful thoughts that rang in your head. 

“Can I go with you?” you had asked as you sat on Wanda’s bed while she packed the night before with you. 

Wanda kisses your lips. “As much as I would love that, detka, I want you to be safe,” she rubs your arm. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” you say quietly. 

Wanda frowns. “I know, baby, I’m gonna miss you too. So much.” 

You nod, and as you sit quietly on her bed, Wanda can tell your head is somewhere else. 

Grabbing your hand softly, Wanda sits in front of you, staring into your eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you look away. 

Kissing your forehead gently, Wanda pulls back with encouraging and comforting eyes. “I love you,” she says softly. 

And it’s all you need, because it’s the most delicate, soft, unspoken gesture you’ve ever heard. One that screams that she cares, that she won’t leave you, that she won’t hurt you, and that she truly honestly loves you with all her heart and you can feel it radiating off of her. 

Wanda Maximoff made you feel like you were the most important person in the world to her. 

Little did you know, you truly were, and to confirm it Wanda had a ring in her back pocket which she bought a week after she started dating you with her at all times. 

“I love you too,” you reply, giving her a small smile. “I just want to be anywhere you are,” you confess as you start blushing timidly. 

“Oh? That’s cute,” Wanda teases. 

“Shut up,” you groan, hiding your face in the crook of her neck. 

Wanda laughs, kissing your temple. “I do too, detka.” 

“Really?” you pull your head away to meet her gaze. 

“Of course,” Wanda smiles. “Being with you is my favorite thing in the world. Why wouldn’t I want it all the time?” 

You blush furiously. “You know, if you keep this up–” 

“What?” she asks gently.

I might just marry you. You think, oblivious to the fact that Wanda’s already had the thought countless times. 

You shake your head with a smile. 

***

When Wanda’s on her mission, she buys a small chocolate chip cookie keychain that reminds her of you. They were your favorite food, and every Sunday, Wanda made sure to bake a fresh batch for the week so you never had to run out of one of your favorite things. 

And when she gets back, only seconds after she puts her bags down she feels her arms fill with you and her heart becomes so much bigger than it was before. She kisses you deeply, smiling to herself at the person she loves in her arms.

Whispering against your lips, she pulls the keychain out of her left back pocket, her right one carrying the ring she’s planning on proposing to you with. “I bought this for you,” she tells you, letting it dangle off of her index finger by the silver ring that she later finds out gets attached to the zipper of your favorite backpack. 

And God, Wanda would be a fool not to be eternally charmed by the way your eyes light up with joy once you see it, the happy tears in your eyes making her want to hug you so tightly and never ever let go. “I love it,” you reply, grabbing it softly as if it’s made of the most delicate china. “I love you,” you kiss her lips. 

Wanda shakes her head. “So American,” she teases, referring to your love for chocolate chip cookies.

“Yeah, but I’m your American,” you reply cheekily. 

Wanda nods, kissing you once more. “My beautiful, perfect, so American girlfriend.”  

Wanda feels her heart skip a beat when you blush all over. 

***

You’re crying. You’re crying because you saw Natasha for the first time since the two of you broke up, and her words don’t hurt any less than they did when the two of you were dating. Natasha had just seen you and Wanda, wrapped up in each other’s arms, admiring one another at Tony’s enormous birthday party. 

Once Wanda had left to go let Pietro in, who had run back all the way from Australia where he was taking a break from the superhero life, Natasha had come up to you. Ready to poison your world with her venomous tongue. 

“You know, she’ll get sick of you,” Natasha had snapped you out of your thoughts as you stared at the door where Wanda had just left. 

“What?” you reply as you turn to face her on the leather stool. Her calculating and judging eyes causing you to gulp. Even now, you still felt her hurtful words ring the bells of your insecurities back to life. 

“She’ll get sick of you,” Nat repeats. “I mean, why do you think we broke up? You’re boring, you’re rude, and you’re obsessive. All my friends told me about how you couldn’t shut up about me when we were together. I mean, clingy much?” 

“I didn’t mean–” you try. 

Nat scoffs. “Yeah, whatever.” She takes a sip of her drink.

You feel the need to apologize, for you never meant to make Nat feel suffocated that way, when suddenly a brunette witch is making her way over to you. And she looks like she’s about to rain down hellfire on Natasha. 

“Excuse me.” Wanda’s eyes narrow as she wraps an arm around your shoulder. “I believe she’s my girlfriend, Natasha.” 

“Just warning her.” Natasha shrugs. “And you.” 

You stare at the spot on your lap, deciding on whether or not to blink away the tears in your eyes or cry, because ever since you dated Natasha you had learned how to cry silently so you wouldn’t bother her. 

Wanda raises an eyebrow, and her accent comes out thicker than ever before, “And what would you be warning me about?” 

“Of her,” Natasha shrugs. 

Wanda’s eyes go red before she calms down, and her arm around you tightens in the most gentle way somehow. “I’ll give you five seconds to leave us alone.” 

“You’re gonna regret this, Wanda,” Natasha says. 

“The only person with regret is you, for never treating her the way she deserves to be treated,” Wanda replies sharply. 

Natasha scoffs, turning around. “As if she deserves anything.” 

Suddenly, Natasha’s glass explodes in her hands, ‘causing everyone in the party to look her way. You can tell it was Wanda based on the way you saw a spark of red flash in her hands briefly. 

Natasha turns and narrows her eyes venomously at Wanda, before stalking off to go clean the cut that’s very visible on her hand. 

You’re still staring at the same spot on your lap when Wanda turns to face you, cupping your cheeks in her hands as she looks at you. 

“Are you alright, milaya?” she asks, the heartbroken expression on your face making her heart drop to her stomach. You didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve this at all. 

“Do you hate me?” you whisper brokenly, the tears finally escaping your eyes as you can no longer keep them at bay. 

“No, baby, no,” Wanda wipes the tears running down your cheeks with her thumbs. “I could never, ever, hate you.” 

“What did I do to make her hate me so much? What’s wrong with me?” you ask with a sob. 

“Nothing,” Wanda feels her own tears build up behind her eyes. “Nothing is wrong with you, baby, you’re the most amazing human being I know.” 

And Wanda’s heart breaks even more, as you cry more and more, silently. 

Somehow, it’s even more heartbreaking than if you were to ever make a sound. 

You cry even more as you replay tonight’s events in your head, still in the navy blue dress Wanda had picked for you for the party, telling you how pretty you looked once she saw you in it. You felt so wrong, like you didn’t deserve any of what Wanda was giving you, like she would get sick of you the same way Natasha did. Because maybe Natasha was right, maybe you didn’t deserve anything. Because if you did deserve anything, then why would Natasha treat you so awfully, why would your mom have left you as a child and why would your brother leave you too, so overridden with the pain of the lack of your mom that he couldn’t bear to watch you, leaving you with your abusive father who reeked of alcohol every night. 

The thoughts sicken you, because your mother never ever meant to have cancer. And it wasn’t your brother’s fault that he couldn’t handle a life without your beautiful, loving mother in it. And it wasn’t your father’s fault either that he had a drinking problem. 

Maybe it was all your fault. 

You hear the knock on your door, and you can tell by the pattern that it’s Wanda. “Detka, can I come in?” she says gently from the other side of the door. 

Quietly, you get up from your bed, turning the doorknob, and opening the door. The motions feel unnatural to you, like you’re some stranger who’s been playing the role of having a loving girlfriend, but your world was shattered earlier and you don’t know who you are anymore. You don’t know if you deserve anything anymore. 

“Oh, baby,” Wanda says heartbroken as she wraps you in a tight hug. 

This was your fault, seeing the sad look in her eyes you realize that you hurt Wanda. 

You hurt the one person in your life whom you never meant to hurt. 

It was all your fault. 

You hug her back, because maybe if you hug her back it would make her feel better and it would be less of your fault. 

Wanda tightens her grip on you, wanting to convey how much she loves you. Wanting to convey how much you didn’t deserve any of this. Wanting to wordlessly tell you that despite all the pain you’ve been through you handle it with so much grace, and you’re the most beautiful person Wanda’s ever met in her life. 

But Wanda can tell that you’re not okay, that your mind is somewhere else–

Then she hears you sob. And it’s the first sound of a cry that Wanda’s ever heard from you. 

And Wanda can feel the tears fall onto her shoulder and she holds you tighter, she holds you tighter and tighter until Natasha’s hurtful words are overrun by Wanda’s overwhelming love she feels for you. 

Wanda can only hope you understand what she’s saying. 

And once you’re done crying at 3 in the morning, she keeps hoping. 

***

Wanda’s worried about you, ever since Nat had spoken to you at the party you had been more quiet. More reserved. Like your mind was somewhere else.

“Baby?” she asks one morning when you’re both alone in the compound and Wanda wants to cook you breakfast. 

“Yeah?” you ask, staring absentmindedly at the sitcom running on the TV. 

You were ecstatic when the first day Wanda met you, you had both found out about your shared love for sitcoms. 

But Wanda watches you know, the complete lack of interest in Malcolm in the Middle worrying her because it was your favorite sitcom of them all and typically you would have a completely enraptured look in your eye. The same one Wanda was lucky enough to receive from you. 

Frowning, Wanda pauses in her cooking, turning the heat off the stove and coming over to meet you on the couch. 

You don’t register when Wanda sits down next to you, still lost in your thoughts as she gently grabs your hand.

“What’s going on?” she asks softly, running her thumb over the back of your hand. 

“Nothing,” you reply, sitting up slightly. 

“Detka, I know you’re not okay. And you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but just know that I care about you, ok?” Wanda kisses your forehead gently. “I’m always here if you need me.” 

You frown, feeling so guilty that you were making Wanda worried about you. You couldn’t pretend to be okay, and now you’ve hurt her even more. How long until she gets sick of you? How long until she gets sick of the feelings you give her?  

“How long–” your voice breaks. “How long until you get sick of me?” 

“What?” Wanda asks, dumbfounded. 

“I keep making you worry, keep making you need to constantly reassure me, and it must be so tiring for you, so,” you shut your eyes tightly. “How long until you don’t want me anymore?” 

Wanda’s heart breaks. “Never,” she breathes out. “I could never stop wanting you, even if I tried.” Wanda squeezes your hand tightly. “And I would never want to try.” 

“But I’m–” you bite your lip to stop a cry from coming out. “I’m so much to deal with, and I’m not even that interesting, and it would be so much easier for you to date someone who’s actually worthy of how amazing you are–” 

Wanda cuts you off with a kiss. Cupping your cheek, she states, “You are so worthy of love, Y/N.” 

You stay silent, staring back at her green eyes and feeling them pull you out of toxic puddle that was your thoughts like they always did. 

“Loving you is the greatest gift the world has ever given me,” Wanda says, rubbing her thumb against your cheek. “And I could never get sick of you. You are the most incredible thing to ever exist, and loving you, for me, is like breathing. It’s the easiest thing in the world, and it’s everywhere.” 

“I just feel like I’m putting you through a lot,” you say quietly. 

“You’re not,” Wanda shakes her head. “You’re actually making everything I go through easier than it’s ever been.”

“I’m sorry,” you say. 

“Sorry for what?” Wanda asks. “This is everything I love about you.” 

You laugh. “You like when I start crying and get insecure?” 

“I like every part of you. And if you need me to calm you down every single day, I’ll do it in a heartbeat,” Wanda replies, and you smile slightly at her. “But I do hate seeing you cry.” She frowns. 

You scoff. “I hate feeling like this,” you mutter. 

“And I hate Natasha for making you feel like this,” Wanda pulls you into her side and you tuck your head into her shoulder, closing your eyes. 

“I don’t think it was just her,” you say softly. “I think it was a buildup of everything, and Nat just amped it up more. I never really worked through how much that relationship affected me before jumping into one with you.” 

Wanda nods. “Do you want me to give you some space for you to figure it out?” 

You shake your head, wrapping your arms around her waist. “I never want–” you stop yourself, worrying she’ll find you too clingy as Nat’s words ring in your head again. Space from you. 

Wanda doesn’t mean to, but your thoughts echo so loudly in your head that she can’t help but hear them. And she wants to kill Natasha all over again. “What did Natasha say to you at the party?” she asks quietly. 

“Um,” you grapple with your feelings as you relive that night, when Nat made all of your feelings of inadequacy come alive once more. Wanda frowns, rubbing her palm against your side to calm you down. “She said, that–, that you would get sick of me eventually. That I’m boring. And rude. And,” you swallow past the lump in your throat. “Too clingy.” 

“What a bitch,” Wanda mutters. 

“Do you think she’s right?” you ask Wanda, squeezing her waist tighter as your fears that Wanda will get sick of you come alive, and these are your last few moments with the person who lit up your entire world. 

“No, baby, she’s so so wrong,” Wanda replies, her eyes turning red before she looks down at you and frowns as she sees your eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

“The clingy one hurts me the most,” you whisper. “All I wanted was to love her and for her to love me back. But maybe I’m too much.” 

You recall all the times you memorized her new coffee order every few months, the countless hours you had spent re-reading her self-help books, memorizing every fact, listening to all of her favorite songs from the information you had gathered about her. And the way you felt so proud to be Natasha’s girlfriend, the greatest assassin in the world and she chose you to be her partner. How could you have not talked about her? 

Maybe it was too much? 

“I think you’re the most amazing person in the world,” Wanda says, as her powers run amok once more and she sees all the lovely gestures you had done for Natasha. “I think Nat was an idiot for not seeing how kind and loving you are. And you are never too much.” 

You look up at Wanda as she looks down at you with a small smile. Kissing your forehead softly, she says, “You’re not boring. And you’re not rude. In fact, you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, as well as the kindest. And if someone is lucky enough to be loved by you, they should realize how rare it is to find someone as incredible as you.” 

You shake your head softly in disbelief. “How do you do it?” you ask. 

“Do what?” 

“Make me feel like I’m actually worthy of being loved.” 

Wanda kisses you deeply this time. 

“You are, I’m just the one who helps you see it.” 

Later that night, Wanda hears you on the phone with one of your oncology friends, and she hears you talk about her. How amazing she is, and how lucky you are to have her. And when she sees you flop back onto the bed through the crack of your door, an elated expression on your face, as you speak dreamily about the way Wanda dresses and the books she reads, Wanda thinks that you’re the greatest thing the world has ever created. And she knows it’s true. 

***

“Baby?” you say, turning to face Wanda in the dark in your bed. Wanda has her arm over your side, and she hums groggily as she was about to fall asleep. 

“What’s going on?” she asks, her voice still heavy with sleep.

“Nothing,” you say quickly, before slowly saying, “It’s just, I really, really, love you.” 

Wanda smiles. “You woke me up to say that?” 

“I didn’t know you were basically asleep,” you reply guiltily. “Guess the mission wore you out more than a night-shift wears me out. Sorry.” 

Wanda kisses you. “Don’t be, you’re adorable.” 

“Can I tell you something?” 

“Of course, milaya.” 

“It’s really hard to sleep when you’re next to me,” you confess.

Wanda grins into the dark. “Oh, yeah? Is it because I’m so attractive?” 

You laugh. “Yes,” you reply, and Wanda’s grin turns smug. “But it’s also because it’s so surreal that I’m with you, at all. And it’s even more surreal that you’re in my bed with me, cuddling me, and you’re so warm and soft and it just makes me want to–” 

Wanda cuts you off with a kiss. 

God, she was so in love with you. 

You grin sheepishly, “Sorry.” 

Wanda rolls her eyes. “Stop apologizing, detka.” 

“Okay,” you nod.  

“Feel better?” Wanda asks, and you understand her question. It’s been a month since Nat confronted you at the party, and moments like this were a big step for you in coming to terms with yourself overall. 

“Much,” you reply. “Especially because you’re here.” 

Wanda smiles. “I’m glad.” 

Wanda’s heart swells when she cuddles you once more, and you hold her hand that’s around your middle as tightly as you can. She feels an overwhelming love for you, and she thinks about the ring in her desk drawer back in her room. 

***

Wanda’s laughing at your joke on the couch. Wanda’s the only one who has ever laughed at your jokes, and it makes you feel so much lighter than ever before, while also making you fall deeper and deeper in love with the woman you’re lucky enough to call your girlfriend. 

“You know, you’re the only person who’s ever laughed at my jokes,” you say. 

Wanda smiles. “Well, then everyone else doesn’t have as sophisticated sense of humor as we do.” 

You give her an incredulous look. “The first day I met you, you laughed at a stupid pun I made.” 

“Exactly,” Wanda shrugs. “Sophisticated.” 

You shake your head with a smile, taking a sip of your tea as your heart feels bigger and more full than you ever thought possible.

And Wanda watches you, awestruck at your striking beauty that she struggles to believe is reality. 

***

Wanda’s sick. Wanda’s sick and you’re worried because your girlfriend is in pain and you don’t want her to be. 

When you came in this morning back from your shift in the hospital, excited to see her, your heart had dropped at seeing her pained expression in bed, her voice croaky and her brows furrowed as she battled the feeling of nausea that overcame her. Not to mention her shivers as her high fever caused her even more misery. 

You sat down on the edge of her bed, softly brushing away the strands of hair that stuck to her forehead due to her high temperature, ‘causing Wanda to stir eventually. 

Slowly opening her eyes, her eyes lit up as she greeted you with a soft smile. “Hi,” she whispered. 

Frowning, you put the back of your hand against her forehead. “Baby, you’re warm,” you told her, suddenly very worried. 

“I’m fine,” Wanda replied, trying to sit up but letting out a groan. “I’m not fine,” she joked, as you helped her lay back down.

“Stay here, I’ll go get you some medicine,” you said, kissing her forehead quickly before heading to the cabinets full of medicine in the bathroom.

“Don’t take too long, Dr. L/N,” Wanda said sleepily as she shut her eyes once more, trying her best to fight her exhaustion so she would still be awake when you came back. 

Shaking your head with a smile, you searched through the cabinets to find the proper medication to give her, already planning how you were going to take care of her the rest of the day and for as long as she needed you while she combatted her illness. Despite your worry, you were grateful that you were finally able to take care of your girlfriend, the same way she did to you every single day. 

Wanda’s condition had subsided slightly, particularly her fever which had gone down quite a bit, but she was still feeling most of the effects of the sickness. 

“Wands,” you say softly, putting the bowl of soup on her nightstand as you kneel down on her side to wake her up gently with a kiss on her cheek. 

Wanda wakes from her slumber with a groan, still slightly disoriented causing you to frown.  

“Is your fever back?” you ask, putting the back of your hand on her forehead like you had done previously this morning. It wasn’t as hot as before, calming your worry a bit. 

Wanda shakes her head before resting it on your shoulder, letting out a sigh. “You’re so good,” she says, turning her head to kiss your neck gently.

“Good at what?” you say with a laugh. 

“Just good,” she says contently, relaxing in your presence. 

“I made you some soup,” you tell her, kissing her temple as she hums. 

“I don’t want it,” she says, muffled by your shirt. 

“I’ll stay with you if you have a couple bites,” you offer. 

Wanda removes her head from your shoulder and raises a brow. “You were going to stay with me anyways,” she says matter-of-factly, trying her best to appear intimidating.  

You smile at her cute expression. Wanda could never be intimidating, especially now when her hair was slightly tousled from her pillow and she was wearing an old T-shirt of yours that was full of wrinkles from her time in bed. 

She was about as intimidating as a baby sea otter. 

“Not anymore,” you shrug, ‘causing Wanda to narrow her eyes slightly. 

“Well, you better,” she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest. “Otherwise I’m never getting over this fever.” 

You smile once more. 

“You know, you’re really cute when you’re sick.” 

“You’re insufferable when I’m sick.”  

You laugh, “Please, will you have some soup?” 

“Only if you cuddle with me when I’m better.”

“I’ll cuddle you right now if you eat a couple spoonfuls,” you say. “I’ll even feed you.”

“I don’t want to get you sick,” Wanda says before her eyes narrow at you once more. “Also, I’m not a child.” 

“I got my flu shot last month,” you tell her, reassuring her worries. “And you’re kinda acting like one,” you tease, before kissing her forehead. “But it’s really cute.” 

Finally, Wanda relents. “Fine, I’ll have some soup.” 

“Thank you, love.” 

You grab the soup from the nightstand and hand it to her, and as she eats you rest your head on her shoulder, one of Wanda’s top 3 favorite ways to be next to you.  

She eats about half before she’s full, and you tell her you’re proud of her before heading off to the kitchen to put the bowl away. 

However, as you get up from her bed, Wanda stops you by grabbing your wrist. 

“Where are you going?” she asks, sitting up slightly as she was already laying back down with the blankets tucked under her chin. 

“To put the bowl away,” you respond gently. “Keeping it in your room might make it start to smell like chicken noodle.” 

Wanda scrunches her nose, accepting your answer quickly making you laugh. 

But as you’re about to leave, you see Wanda watching you, staying sitting up and you can tell that it’s because she wants to wait for you to come back. 

Making your way back over, you gently tell her, “Go back to sleep,” you brush a strand of hair away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. “You’re nauseated again, I can tell.” 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” she asks. 

“Of course,” you kiss the tip of her nose. 

And when she lies back down, groggily croaking out the words, “so american,” most likely commenting on the chicken noodle soup, you smile, you smile because you know that’s Wanda’s way of saying she loves you. 

But to Wanda, it’s also her way of saying she wants to marry you. 

***

“This isn’t fair,” you pout as Wanda beats you in Mario Kart once again. 

She had been better for about a week, and she was back to herself which you were ecstatic  about. 

“Baby, how is this not fair,” she laughs.

“You’re way better than me! You had all those years where you played against Pietro, who’s unbeatable, and I only learned ‘cause Sam forced me to when no one else was available!” You cross your arms over your chest. 

Wanda smiles at the cute pout on your face before kissing you softly, and your expression eases up a bit. 

“We can play something else if you want,” she offers, pecking your lips once more. 

“Can I just cuddle you?” you ask, suddenly feeling very shy. 

“You don’t even have to ask,” Wanda says, opening her arms for you to lay down on her, as she leans back against the pillow of the couch, your head resting on her chest as you’re comforted by the sound of her heartbeat. 

You wrap your arms around her waist as she grabs the blanket from the other side of the couch, and pulls it over the two of you, making sure you’re completely covered from the neck down before she tightens her arms around you. 

“I love you,” you say softly, closing your eyes as you relax to the feeling of Wanda stroking your hair gently as you lay on her chest. 

“I love you too, detka. So much,” she says, watching as sleep starts to overcome you due to how exhausted you were from being on call for the past two weeks. 

“You know, it’s really not fair,” you mutter sleepily. 

“What, me winning over 10 times in a row on the Wii?” she laughs. 

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not fair of you to make me feel this much.” 

Wanda responds by kissing your forehead gently, and you burrow deeper into her chest as you fall into a deep slumber. 

Wanda smiles, content and so so happy as she watches you, feeling the weight of the ring in her back pocket. 

***

It was your one year anniversary, and Wanda had planned a small weekend getaway for the two of you as you had been exhausted due to a bunch of new projects you were taking on. 

Wanda was so proud of you, but a lot of the time she felt worried because of how heavy of a workload you were taking on. 

You were planning on coming over later tonight, as you had to work extra hours in the hospital. 

So, to make you feel better and to let you know about your vacation Wanda made sure wouldn’t interfere with your schedule, she had spent all day cooking you a wonderful 3-course meal which consisted of all of your favorite foods. As well as a large batch of chocolate chip cookies that would last you a solid month so long as you put them in the freezer. 

She smiled at the thought of you as she rolled out the homemade pasta she was making you, how you had turned her world upside down as she navigated the unfamiliar territory of being the newest and youngest Avenger, just having you made her feel like she was so much better than before, and Wanda fell so so deeply in love with you and she never wanted to stop. 

She wanted to give you the world. 

She thought about how kind you were, how you cared so deeply for everyone, always stopping to help wherever and whenever you could. Wanda felt so special to be the partner of someone so undeniably incredible.

Suddenly, the oven beeps, snapping her out of her thoughts as she pulls out the chicken to go along with your pasta, the appetizer of calamari already prepared as it layed on a wire rack, as well as the chocolate chip cookies which she had prepared earlier in the day to make sure she had time to make enough.  

Once she finished up, she plated the table for the two of you as she had kicked everyone out for her special dinner with you, wanting you all to herself. She smiled as she lit the candles and set up the plates along with the knives and forks, laying the plate of calamari in the middle as she kept her entree and dessert a secret from you. 

Hearing her phone go off, she grins once she sees that you’ve texted that you’ve just arrived. 

Taking her apron off as quickly as possible, she rushes downstairs to open the door for you, exhilarated at the thought of seeing you. 

Swinging the door open, you smile softly at her while she grins, bursting forward to wrap you in a tight hug. 

“Hi,” you laugh, wrapping your arms around her. “Happy anniversary.”  

“Can you take a break from doctoring once in a while?” she mutters into your neck. 

“I wish,” you say, wrapping your arms tighter around her. 

Once she lets go, she grabs your hand to pull you upstairs, excited to surprise you. 

“Wanda, what’s the rush?” you ask as you make your way up the stairs. 

“I missed you too much, come on!” she says, making you laugh. 

Once you finally make it to the top floor, Wanda stops you from walking any further. “Close your eyes,” she says. 

You shoot her a look. 

“Trust me,” she says, pecking your lips quickly. 

Closing your eyes, you say, “What now?” 

“Okay, I’m gonna guide you,” she says excitedly as she stands behind you, starting to lead you to the dining room table. 

“This is not how I expected our anniversary to go.” 

“Just trust me,” Wanda says. 

Nodding, you continue to walk in the direction Wanda guides you before she stops you in place. 

“Okay, ready?” she says and you nod. “Three, two, one, open your eyes!” 

You open your eyes, and they widen in shock as you see the most beautiful candlelit dinner you’ve ever seen in your life. 

Wanda has swapped out the regular dining room table for a round one covered in a shiny white tablecloth, as well as swapped out the regular wooden chairs for more expensive looking ones that match the elegance of the table. The plates and utensils are arranged perfectly, along with the restaurant quality napkins that were beautifully folded so they were standing upright, absolutely nothing was out of place, and the calamari in the middle was cooked to perfection, the smell wafting towards you no doubt making you hungry. 

It looked like Wanda had taken the appearance of a michelin star restaurant and copied it to perfection right here in the Avengers compound.

But what was even more unbelievable was the string of lights she had arranged all throughout the room, from every nook and cranny, the lights brought a hope to the dinner that nearly brought tears to your eyes at how romantic and calm they made the room feel.  

And finally, to top it all off, right in the middle of the array of candles on the table was a large vase of your favorite flowers. 

Flowers you had only ever mentioned to her once when she asked you, and you had told her not to worry about it because you could only ever get them in New Zealand.  

“What do you think?” she asks, coming up behind you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

You quickly turn to wrap her in a tight hug, squeezing so tightly you’re surprised she can even breathe. “I love you,” you breathe out. “So much.”  

Wanda laughs. “Does that mean you like it?” she says teasingly before continuing, “I love you too,” she kisses the crown of your head. 

Burrowing deeper into her, you mumble, “I can’t believe...I can’t believe I’m really here.” 

You remember how awful you felt 2 years ago, how hopeless you felt. How unworthy you felt. Now, standing here in Wanda’s arms, who you’re still convinced is much too good to be true, feeling so so loved, everything feels surreal. 

“I have the same thought about you,” Wanda says, her powers running amok as she accidentally reads your mind again and hears your thoughts about her. “You’re too good. Sometimes I can’t believe you exist.” 

“Stop,” you say as your cheeks turn red against her neck. 

“Happy anniversary,” she says softly. “I have another surprise for you.” 

That makes you look up. “What is it?” 

“Join me for dinner and I’ll tell you,” she says cheekily. 

“Why can’t you tell me now?” You pout. 

“Nice try, but I didn’t spend all day cooking this meal for nothing.” She runs her hands up and down your arms. “Besides, you deserve a nice relaxing dinner after all the work you’ve done the past few weeks.” 

You look up at her with a shimmering look in your eyes and a lovesick smile on your face. 

“What?” she laughs. 

“Just happy,” you reply, kissing her lips. 

“You deserve it,” Wanda says easily. “Now come on!”

She leads you over to the table by the hand, pulling out your chair for you as you sit down, planting a quick kiss on your lips before sitting down across from you. 

You share countless smiles and laughs as you have the best dinner of your life, zoning out a couple times as Wanda talks and you simply admire her for everything she is. 

And as you bite into your chocolate chip cookie after Wanda has revealed the enormous batch she made, she’s telling you what the surprise from earlier was. 

“So, I’ve checked your schedule,” she says excitedly. “And since you’re free this weekend I booked us a vacation in Palm Springs! The weather’s perfect, and you’ll finally get to relax after working so hard, plus, they have amazing grass tennis courts and I know you’ve been wanting to get back into playing since you don’t have much time for it anymore–” 

“Wanda,” you cut off softly, shaking your head. 

You can’t even begin to comprehend that tonight is real at all. 

“What?” she asks, looking at you with a smile.

“Every time I start to think you couldn’t get more perfect you just…” 

“I get the same feeling about you,” she says, making you blush. “But I’m not perfect.” She takes a hold of both of your hands and rubs her thumbs over the backs softly. “However, I do love you, so much, and I want to show it.” 

“Well, you’re perfect for me,” you reply, meeting her gaze and smiling softly as the two of you just stare at each other. But suddenly, it clicks in your head. “How did you know I used to play tennis?” 

Wanda blushes before she starts off shyly, “Um, before we started dating I went to your hospital to see if you were there, but you weren’t so I may have asked your oncology friends a couple things about you.” 

“So you stalked me?” you tease. 

“I couldn’t help it I had a crush on you!” she defends, letting go of your hands and putting her head into her arms. “I still have a crush on you.” 

“How embarrassing,” you comment with a chuckle. 

“It’s not embarrassing,” she defends as she lifts her head from her arms. “Have you seen how pretty you are?” 

You blush, ducking your head down so your hair covers your face slightly. Even after a year of dating Wanda always managed to fluster you to no end. 

“Wow, now who’s embarrassed,” Wanda teases back. 

“Shut up, I hate you,” you say, embarrassed. 

“Wow, that’s not very American of you,” she says with a chuckle. 

“Take that back,” you say, lifting your head and narrowing your eyes at her. 

“If you say yes to the Palm Springs trip.” 

“I thought I already said yes.” 

“Not verbally,” she emphasizes. 

“I’ll go anywhere you go,” you say easily. 

“Cute cop-out, but I need the word yes,” she says, sitting up and kissing your lips quickly before sitting back down. 

“Yes,” you relent with a smile. “I’ll go to Palm Springs with you.” 

“Good,” she smiles before a mischievous twinkle brings itself out in her eyes. “So I’ll get to watch you play tennis all weekend. I can already imagine how hot that’ll be…” 

“Why do you insist on teasing me?” 

“‘Cause you look so cute when you’re flustered.” 

You shake your head, taking a bite of your chocolate chip cookie to distract yourself from the way Wanda was making you feel. 

But instead she decides to mess with you even more, softly saying the words “so american” as she watches you. 

And Wanda telling you she loves you made you the most flustered of all. 

***

You had gotten Wanda a necklace for your anniversary, and she had gotten you a bracelet with both of your initials on them. 

Now, waking up in your hotel in Palm Springs, you smile once you see the bracelet on your wrist. You turn in bed to see if Wanda was there, but you frown once you see the empty spot next to you. 

Where was she? 

You wonder where she could be, because she would never leave to go to breakfast without you, nor would she head out without telling you where she was going after waking you up with a soft kiss. 

You don’t know where she could have gone. 

But soon, your question is answered as she enters the room, a large tray of your favorite breakfast foods in her hands as she greets you with a smile. 

You tilt your head in confusion. 

“Hi,” she says, setting down the tray and kissing you on the lips. “I made you breakfast.” 

Your heart flutters and your stomach fills with butterflies. “How did you manage to do this?” 

“Turns out that locked room isn’t a closet, but a tiny kitchen,” she explains, pointing to the aforementioned room. “I found out after I woke up early this morning by accident.” 

“I missed you,” you say, hugging her side. “Where’d you get the food from?” 

“Magic,” she replies easily.

“Oh, right, I forgot I’m dating a witch,” you chuckle, hugging her tighter. 

“I’m not a witch,” she says defiantly. “I was voted most powerful Avenger at Tony’s ceremony last year.” 

“They’re right,” you say, looking over to the breakfast tray and smiling once you see the gorgeous rose that lays on its side. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not a witch.” 

“I’m a not-witch who’s really in love with you.” 

“And I’m a not-doctor who’s really in love with you.” 

“Well, then we agree to disagree,” she says, putting the tray in front of you, silently telling you to start enjoying your meal. 

“Mhm,” you say, eating a forkful of the omelet she had prepared and moaning at the taste. “Where’d you learn to cook?” 

“My mother taught me, back in Sokovia,” she says quickly, heat flushing to her cheeks after she hears the sound you had made. Shifting from her position on the bed to move behind you, she gently shifts you forward slightly so she can sit behind you and outstretch her legs as she wraps her arms around your middle.  

You lean your head back to rest against her shoulder. “She taught you really well,” you say, closing your eyes. 

“Detka, are you gonna fall asleep while eating breakfast?” she laughs. 

“No, I’m just savoring this moment,” you reply, kissing her shoulder. “And I want to savor this breakfast too.” 

“Yeah? I’m that good?” she says with a chuckle. 

“You are,” you say, opening your eyes to look up at her. “In fact, I might marry you right now if you keep this up.” 

“I’d do it every day just for you,” she replies, kissing your lips. 

And when you smile at her, that beautiful smile that makes Wanda’s heart beat faster than she can comprehend, she seriously considers pulling out the ring from her pocket to propose to you right in your hotel room. 

***

“Baby? Wake up,” Wanda whispers, bright and early in the morning on September 8th. 

You groan, not wanting to get up. 

Wanda laughs. “Come on, it’s your birthday,” she says, kissing you on your forehead. 

“Doesn’t that mean I should get to sleep in,” you grumble, burying yourself deeper into the pillows. “Come cuddle with me,” you say, sleepily patting the spot next to you where Wanda had slept last night. 

“As much as I would love to, if I cuddle you right now you’re only gonna end up sleeping for another hour. And there’s a bunch of things prepared for your special day,” she says softly. 

“Another hour sounds great, thanks,” you mumble as you start to feel yourself drift off. 

“No, no, no, come on!” she laughs, gently pulling the blankets off your body. 

“It’s cold,” you groan as the air of the room starts to wash over your body.

“Because you and I sleep in negative degrees,” Wanda says teasingly before gently sitting down on your bed to hug you tightly. 

After a few minutes, you accept your fate as you sit up with a sigh against the headboard, Wanda letting go of you to grab the glass of water on your nightstand to hand to you. 

“Happy birthday,” she says softly as you take a sip of the water and she watches you with a smile. 

You kiss her gently. “Thanks.” 

“How’d you sleep?” she asks. 

“Really well.” You grin. “I got to cuddle with you all night.” 

“Last night must have helped too–” 

“I will throw this water in your face if you finish that sentence,” you cut her off, starting to blush. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” she says with a smirk. “You’re really hot when you’re angry.” 

“So, theoretically if I yelled at you, you’d just end up wanting to have sex?” 

“First,” she says. “You would never yell at me.” You give her a look, and she just smiles smugly because she knows she’s right. You were way too nice to ever yell at anyone. Even animals. “And second, yes, that’s usually how that works.” 

“You’re a middle school boy,” you say with a shake of your head. 

Wanda just smiles before kissing you deeply. “Can’t help it.” She brushes a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” you say back. 

Wanda grins. “Ready for your birthday?” she asks, standing up from the bed and holding out her hand for you to take. 

You nod, smiling as you take it and stand up, kissing her quickly before she starts to take you through the day she had planned. 

And when you’re back, cutting into your birthday cake to hand out to the team members (Natasha was on a mission in Africa) which Wanda had baked, you’re back after a sunrise picnic full of your favorite foods, a relaxing walk across the beach, lunch at your favorite diner, a tour of your favorite locations in New York City as well as somehow meeting your favorite tennis player on the Arthur Ashe stadium of the US Open (you have absolutely no clue how Wanda pulled that off), you turn to your incredible girlfriend, who’s already staring at you with an adoring gaze in her eyes. 

Softly, you say, “I’m so in love with you.” 

You never knew your heart could ever feel this full. 

“I’m so in love with you too,” she replies, kissing you in the most gentle way yet somehow still communicating the deepest sense of passion. “Happy 24th, detka.” 

You want to cry, you want to cry the happiest tears of your life because, god, you have no idea how you got so lucky to have this woman in your life. 

But instead, you kiss her on the lips, hoping it says everything you need to. 

And Wanda knows exactly what you’re saying. 

***

“Oh, my god, what if it’s too much!” you ramble to Yelena as you pace back and forth in your apartment back home. 

“You’ve been dating her for 4 years, you idiot,” Yelena replies, rolling her eyes. 

“Exactly! What if this is like a 5-year thing, or 7 years– Or, god, I don’t know!” 

“Y/N,” she says, grabbing your attention. “Listen, this is ridiculous. That girl is so disgustingly in love with you, you could tell her you’ve hated her all this time and she would still think you gave her the sun or something.” 

You frown. “I could never hate Wanda.” 

“God, you two are insufferable,” Yelena sighs. 

But Yelena’s secretly so happy to see that you’ve finally found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. 

“Hey!” 

“For God’s sake, just go tell her you don’t like ravioli.” 

“It’s her favorite food! We eat it every Thursday just for her!” 

“It’s actually you who’s her favorite food.”

“What? Yelena, I swear–” 

Later that day, Wanda accepts your revelation with a smile on her face and a kiss on your cheek. 

***

“Wanda,” you say softly as you two walk hand-in-hand through the streets of New York. 

“Yeah?” she says, turning to face you with a small smile. 

“So, I don’t want to assume this,” you pause, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. “But, will you go out to dinner with me?” 

Wanda grins. “We’ve been dating for four years and you don’t want to assume that I’ll go to dinner with you?” 

“Well, you might be busy!” you defend. 

Wanda laughs. “I’m never too busy for you, milaya.” 

“You’re just saying that. What if there’s a criminal who shows up out of the blue and you’re needed for superhero business or something…” 

“Then we’ll reschedule,” Wanda says, shrugging. “And I’ll make sure I always have time for you.” 

You bite your lip anxiously. “What if…what if you don’t come back one day?” your voice trembles. 

“Oh, baby,” Wanda says, hugging you. “I’ll always come back to you.” 

“You can’t know that,” you mumble into her shirt. 

“But I do,” she says, holding you by your shoulders and pulling away slightly. “Because you’re worth every bit fighting for, and I’ll always make sure that I keep fighting until I see your face again.” 

Wanda frowns as she watches the tears roll down your cheeks. 

Wiping them away with her thumb, she says softly, “I love you. I’ll always come back to the person I love most in the world.” 

“I love you too,” you reply, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” she tells you. “I’m always happy to care for you.” 

“I’m really hopelessly in love with you,” you say quietly only for Wanda to hear. 

“The feeling’s mutual, detka.” 

***

Wanda was going to propose to you tonight. 

It was almost Christmas, which she had found out in your first year of dating was your favorite time of year (besides her birthday or your guys’ anniversary) because it made you feel like you belonged somewhere. 

Wanda smiled while she watched you from the couch, biting the nail of your thumb as you thought carefully of which ornament to put next on the Christmas tree. 

She was so in love with you, your work ethic, how much you cared for her, how loved you made her feel. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with you. 

“Wanda?” you ask, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

“Yeah, detka?” she replies, looking over at you. 

You point to the box of blue and silver ornaments by her feet. “Can you pass me the silver one shaped like a Christmas tree?” 

Nodding, she grabs the ornament from the box and makes her way over to you, hugging you from behind as you placed it carefully on the branch only a little bit taller than you. 

“How does it look?” you ask with a smile, turning your head slightly to kiss her on the cheek. 

“Even better than last year,” she replies, squeezing you tighter. 

If someone didn’t stop her soon, she was going to propose to you right then and there. 

In order to stop herself, she clears her throat and steps back from you a bit, letting go, hoping you don’t notice her actions. 

However, you know her too well, and you turn to look at her with a small furrow of your brows. 

Wanda gives an awkward smile. “Um, I’m gonna get started on the cookies,” she says, pointing towards the kitchen. 

“Okay,” you say slowly. 

Wanda nods, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving you to head towards the previously mentioned room. 

Once Wanda’s in the kitchen, she lets out a sigh, wondering how she was going to get through the day without breaking down due to her nerves. Wanda checked her back pocket, making sure the ring was still there, and felt a sense of relief once she felt it’s black box. 

She had it planned perfectly. After tonight’s holiday party with the team (which she had exclusively made sure Natasha could not make it), she was going to take you to the coffee shop where you two had first met, then she was going to take you to Shakespeare’s garden where you two had first admitted you loved each other, and she was going to officially propose to you at the firework show she had begged Tony to help her host. 

Everything had to be perfect. 

“Wanda?” you startled her out of her thoughts as you knocked on the doorway. Furrowing your brows, you ask, “are you alright?”

“What? Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine…” Wanda replies awkwardly, looking down at her feet and shifting awkwardly. 

You laugh slightly, “Baby, you haven’t even started on the cookies.” You walk over to her, seeing nothing but two eggs on the counter in front of her and nothing else. 

Wanda gulps slightly at your close proximity. How stupid that she had been dating you for 6 years yet you still made her feel like a teenager in high school. “I did…” she says weakly. 

“Oh yeah?” you tease. “How delicious if we left out two eggs with milk for Old St. Nick?” You pick up an egg between your fingers to show her. 

“It’ll give him something new to try,” Wanda shrugs. 

Sighing, you put the egg down, and cup your girlfriend’s cheeks in your hands, rubbing your thumbs over them. “What’s going on?” you say gently. 

“Just nervous,” Wanda admits. 

“Nervous for what?” you ask, brushing a tendril of hair away from her face. 

“You make me nervous,” Wanda says, relenting as she rests her forehead on your shoulder. “You’re so perfect,” she mumbles into your shirt.

Your heart feels like it might explode. “I don’t understand,” you say as you shake your head. “How are you the nervous one yet somehow you still make me feel like I’m gonna burst with happiness?” 

Wanda smiles against your shirt. “It’s ‘cause I love you.”

“And I love you,” you reply.  

“You know, we still have about 2 hours until Tony’s party…” she says suggestively, starting to kiss her way up your neck. 

“More than enough time for you to help me finish the tree,” you say lightheartedly. 

Wanda groans. “I hate you.” 

“Too late, you’re stuck with me already.” You grin as you grab her hand and lead her into the living room, the cookies unspokenly abandoned. 

Little did you know, Wanda wanted nothing more than to be stuck with you for the rest of her life. 

And tonight, she was going to make it official. 

***

“Why the fuck is it so cold,” Wanda muttered, rubbing her bare arms to warm herself up, before intertwining your hands once again. “It’s way colder than the temperature you and I sleep in.” 

“Because Pepper’s here,” you say easily. “And Tony turns the place into an ice box just for her.” 

“Can’t he just invite some sort of nano-machine that keeps it cold for her all the time? He’s got the money,” Wanda says bitterly. 

You chuckle. “Come on, grumpy,” you start to pull her onto the dance floor. “This ought to warm you up.” 

Wanda accepts as you wrap your arms around her shoulders and she wraps hers around your waist, the two of you becoming lost in your own little world as you admire one another in your respective dresses. 

“You look so pretty,” she tells you, awestruck at your beauty. 

“So do you,” you say, taking her in before resting your head on her shoulder, swaying as the two of you try to stay as close as you possibly can. 

Wanda closes her eyes as she rests her cheek on the crown of your head, feeling so content with you in her arms. 

“When did you first know?” you whisper next to her ear. 

“When you made that stupid pun,” Wanda says, and she giggles once she hears you groan in embarrassment. 

“That’s the worst one you could’ve said,” you say, lifting your head up from her shoulder to meet her gaze.

“Can’t help it,” she says, kissing you quickly. “It was so adorable.” 

“I still think it’s insane that you actually find me funny,” you shake your head. 

“I’ll laugh at all your jokes,” she replies easily. “It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”

“Are all Sokovians this romantic?” 

“Are all Americans this incredible?” 

You both grin stupidly at each other before the two of you can’t take it and kiss each other deeply, pouring every ounce of love you feel for one another.  

“Nope,” Wanda says as she pulls away. “Just my so American girlfriend.” 

You smile, kissing her again, and again, and again. 

And Wanda thinks it wasn’t fair of you either, to make her feel this much. 

***

“Wanda, where are we going?” you laugh as she pulls you through the streets of New York. 

“I need to show you something, come on!” she says, stopping once you realize where she’s brought the two of you. 

The coffee shop where you first met. 

“What are we doing here?” you ask, unable to stop the cheesy grin that makes its way onto your face. 

“It’s a surprise, come on,” she replies, opening the door for you and letting you in. Once she shuts the door behind her, you turn, and your eyes soften once you see the shiny look in her eyes. “I’m taking you on a tour,” she says, guiding you to the back table where you two had first spoken. 

“A tour of what?” you say, smiling as you follow her. 

“A tour of how much I love you.” 

And Wanda only falls deeper and deeper in love once she sees the happy tears in your eyes when she reveals your coffee cup from when the two of you had first met, which she had kept all this time. 

***

“No way,” you say with awe as your next stop comes into your line of sight, the coffee cup held safely in your hand at your side. 

“And I re-made the batch of cookies we shared that day,” Wanda said, pulling a tupperware of cookies from behind her back as you follow her onto the bridge of Shakespeare’s garden. 

“What made you do all this?” you ask, shaking your head in disbelief as you come up to her to wrap your arms around her shoulders. 

“It’s a surprise,” she replies, kissing you. “But for now, I want you to know how much you mean to me.” 

“I do,” you say easily. “Every day.” 

“Good,” Wanda grins. “And I’m gonna keep showing you.” 

***

Wanda might not even propose tonight. 

In fact, she doesn’t know if she’ll even remember as she’s lost in awe at how beautiful you look under the stars, holding the rail that separates you from the body of water in front of you while standing on top of a craggly rock, the booming fireworks causing your eyes to shine in a way that makes Wanda want to capture this moment forever.

But, she’s on a mission. 

And when it came to you, Wanda always put her best foot forward. 

“They’re so beautiful,” you say, completely in awe as you watch the colors explode in the sky. 

“Just like you,” Wanda says softly. 

“You know, I still really want to know why you did all this,” you say, turning to her and smiling once you see her already watching you. “I didn’t miss any special date, did I?” 

“Of course you didn’t, your google calendar is already filled to the brim,” she replies with a teasing roll of her eyes. 

“Well, if I didn’t have everything booked then you would forget all of your check-up appointments with your doctor,” you reply cheekily.

“You’re already a doctor.” 

“Not the right kind of doctor.” 

“You’re actually exactly my kind of doctor,” Wanda flirts, making you blush. 

“I hate you. That was awful,” you say as you turn away. 

And as you watch the fireworks in the sky once again, Wanda decides, now’s the time. 

Taking a deep breath and swallowing her nerves, she gets down on one knee. 

Then, almost robotically, she pulls out the ring, opening the box slowly, as if any sudden movement would cause the whole thing to shatter. 

She just needed you to turn her way. 

To turn your head slightly and see her message for you. 

I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. 

It feels as if time has stopped. 

All she feels is the beating of her heart through her chest, the blood pounding in her ears, and her nerves washing over her over and over again– and all she needs is for you to look.  

It feels like hours before you–

Then, you do. 

And it’s slow, and careful, and gentle, and so you.  

You gasp. 

And Wanda shakily breathes out, “Will you marry me, detka?” 

Both of your hands cover your mouth, and tears build in your eyes. 

And Wanda feels the happiest she has ever felt–

When you croak out a yes. 

Wanda wants to keep this moment forever. She wants to remember how full her heart feels when she slips the ring onto your finger. The feel of your lips on her own when you kiss her hard through both of your tears and your laughs of disbelief. 

It’s the happiest day of her life. 

And it’s the happiest day of yours, too. 

***

“I’m so, so, in love with you,” you say as the two of you walk back to your shared home, wrapped in each other’s arms. 

“I’m so in love with you too, detka,” Wanda replies, kissing your temple as she holds you close. 

“When you were a kid, did you ever think you were going to have an American girlfriend?” you chuckle. 

“I never did,” Wanda admits with a smile. “But I couldn’t be happier that I ended up with a beautiful, so American fiancée.” 

You blush at the new title, hiding your reddening face in your fiancée’s neck. “Tonight doesn’t even feel real,” you mumble after a moment. 

Wanda laughs slightly. “Yeah, I know the feeling.” 

Suddenly, out of curiosity, you ask, “When did you buy that ring?” 

“A week after we started dating,” Wanda says resolutely. 

“What?” Your head snaps up from her neck. 

“I just knew,” Wanda says, kissing the tip of your nose. “I knew you were going to be my wife.” 

“That’s…” you shake your head in disbelief. “Wow.” 

Wanda pulls you closer to her. “It was the easiest thing I’ve ever known. Wanna know why?” 

“Why?” you ask. 

“Because, from the first day I met you, I knew, you were everything to me. And you still are.” 

Your eyes start to water. “I’m everything to you?” 

“You are,” Wanda nods, kissing the crown of your head with so much tenderness it makes you want to cry. 

But, you don’t start to cry because of the kiss. 

And you don’t start to cry out of joy although you really, really want to. 

No. The tears finally escape your eyes as you realize that you finally have everything you’ve ever wanted. 

That you’re finally, finally everything to somebody else. 

“You’re everything to me too.” 

[xxnaiaxx]

ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴇᴀᴛꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ / ᴀ.ᴘᴜᴛᴇʟʟᴀꜱ

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐: 𝙸𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜?

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑: 𝙰 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛. (Up soon)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒: 𝙶𝚘𝚊𝚕! (𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚘.) (Up soon)

[xxnaiaxx]

[ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴇᴀᴛꜱ ]

Summary: You never intended to meet the love of your life on a random Friday at work, and you definitely never thought she’d be world famous footballer Alexia Putellas.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐

You had a total of five new Spanish words in your vocabulary by the time you got home that evening, your phone tightly clutched in your hands as you distractedly stumble into your apartment and kick off your shoes before closing and locking the door behind you.

It was all beginners stuff admittedly, but you figure you had to start somewhere. Throwing yourself into the deep end by trying to learn full sentences this soon would only end in disaster; as much as you would like that to not be the case.

In all honesty, you weren't too confident in being able to learn a whole other language. You'd never been able to do so before, especially in school when you'd been forced to take French. The only thing you could remember how to say was hello and my name is. If you dug deep down perhaps you could remember how to count to ten too, but that was really all you had.

But Alexia seemed to know English okay, so perhaps you just needed to learn how to understand Spanish not necessarily how to speak it. Was that the easy way out? Probably. But it was definitely a little less daunting.

Your socked feet pad softly against the wooden floor as you make your way through to the kitchen with the intention of fixing something quick for dinner, settling quickly on some craft Mac and cheese that you immediately grab out of the pantry. It may not be healthy, but it was definitely tasty and right now that was all you needed.

You set your phone down, still open on Duolingo as you fill a pan with water and set it down onto the heat. Leaving that to do its thing, you hurry through to your bedroom to change into some comfy clothes. You'd been in a shirt and jeans all day, and it was pretty much safe to say you were over it. People who wore jeans to relax were complete psychopaths and no one could ever convince you otherwise and that's not even mentioning people that sleep in a bra.

It wasn't long until you were back into the kitchen clad in a pair of pyjama shorts along with an oversized shirt, your dirty clothes kicked to the corner of your room to be dealt with later. By now, the water was boiling, and you pour the box of noodles into it before giving it a quick stir and disposing the box into the garbage.

Your phone buzzes against the counter just seconds later, and you scramble over to it, hoping it was the beautiful blonde you'd not been able to stop thinking about. When you see it was in fact her, you can't help but grin elatedly and pick up your phone, eyes skimming over the message.

Alexia: Hola. I hope you got home okay. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?

You: Hey Alexia. I did get home okay, thank you. I hope you did too. And yes I'm free :)

Was the smiley face too passive aggressive? It looked as though it was. Oh well, hopefully she thinks you were just trying to be nice.

Knowing that watching your phone for her reply would only make you all the more impatient, you drain the now cooked noodles at the sink before adding the powdered cheese and butter, giving it a thorough stir before shoving a spoonful into your mouth.

Yum.

The familiar buzzing greets you again just moments later, and your hands were reaching for your phone before your brain had given them permission to do so, the spoon still hanging from your mouth.

Alexia: Sí, I got home okay. Is one okay?

You: one is perfect

Alexia: I will pick you up

You: Sounds good

Alexia: I will see you then

You: Umm, Alexia?

Alexia: Sí?

You: Don't you need my address?

Alexia: Oh

Alexia: Yes please

You smile softly as you send her your address, liking the thumbs up she sends in response before locking your phone and tucking into the waistband of your shorts. Grabbing your bowl of Mac and cheese, you curl up on the corner of the couch beneath your favourite blanket and turn on the tv, only taking a few minutes unlike your usual twenty to decide on a show.

*

You were up the next day a little before ten am, the sun shining in through the partially open curtains opposite that you'd inevitably forgotten to close before finally dragging yourself to bed last night. Groaning quietly as you stretch your arms above your head, you let out a quiet exhale before kicking off and blankets and hauling yourself out of bed. You instinctively shiver when your feet meet the cold floor, yanking the hoodie strewn at the end of your bed over your head as you make your way through to the bathroom.

The sight of your reflection in the mirror makes you glad you have so much time before your date with Alexia, because it was evident you had a whole lot of work to do.

And with just ten minutes to spare, you find yourself standing in front of the mirror in your living room completely ready to go. Completely oblivious to Alexia's plans, you'd decided on an outfit that was more or less fit for any occasion. A loose white v-neck T-shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. It was warm out today, so you'd tied a thin jacket around your waist. The chance of it actually raining was incredible low, but not completely impossible and you'd rather be safe than sorry.

Your makeup was light and natural, hair pulled up into a half up half down braid with a few loose strands left out to frame your face.

Not a hundred percent happy with how you look but figuring there was nothing you could really do about it, you blow out a deep breath through your mouth before grabbing your keys and wallet from the coffee table and making your way over to the front door. You feel the butterflies in your stomach return with a vengeance as you lock up behind you, and you hoped to god, as you make your way into the elevator and press the button to the ground floor, that it didn't show on your face.

Alexia would be here any minute, and whilst you could almost guarantee she'd be nervous too, you didn't want that to be the only thing you had in common resulting in a less than ideal first date.

You shake off the residual nerves as the elevator doors open, stepping out into the small lobby area just in time for the clock to reach one. As luck would have it, an unfamiliar car you assume is Alexia pulls into the small carpark just as you step outside. You pause by the entrance of your apartment building as you watch her pull her car to a stop, smiling slightly when you see her reach up to pull down the sun visor to get one last look at her reflection before pushing open the door and stepping out of the car.

The smile was immediately wiped from your face the second you see in the outfit she was wearing, your pulse suddenly pounding loudly in your ears as your fingers clench tightly around your phone.

On her body was a white, fitted cropped tank top that was not hiding the fact she wasn't wearing a bra, showing off her tanned, toned arms adorned with a few tattoos and a silver watch on her right wrist. The tank top also gives you a clear view of her...six pack?!

You make a futile effort of ignoring the way your legs turn into jelly as your eyes drop further down her body, taking in the pair of black, high waisted sweatpants that hugged her waist perfectly.

Oh yeah. She was definitely way out of your league. How on earth could someone like her ask someone like you out? You absolutely did not know, but right now, you couldn't quite find it in you to care. She looked insanely good, and only you had the pleasure of seeing that so up close and personal.

Alexia was soon making her way towards you whilst lifting the pair of sunglasses she was wearing to the top of her head, and you smile somewhat bashfully as you watch her look you up and down just as you had done with her. By the way her lips creep up into a satisfied smile you assume she likes what she was seeing and makes you feel a little more confident about the outfit you'd chosen.

Soon, she was in front of you, and the pounding in your heart amplifies when she leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. The feeling of her lips lingers as she pulls away, and you have to refrain from reaching up to touch it knowing that might make you seem a little weird.

"You look really, really good." You murmur with a tentative smile, and Alexia flushes almost bashfully as she tucks her hands into the back pockets of her sweatpants. Your eyes are immediately drawn to her arms at the casual action, and it was only when Alexia pointedly clears her throat do you realise what you were doing.

"Gracias, amor. You do too." She returns the compliment, thankfully not calling you out on your shameless staring as she holds out her hand. She does, however, raise an eyebrow teasingly, and you could so no more than shrug noncommittally you slot your hand into her own. With arms like that, how could you not stare? Asking you not to do so would be criminal.

Alexia seems pleased at your lack of embarrassment, giving your hand a soft squeeze as she gestures towards her car. "Are you ready to go?"

There was a confidence about her today that wasn't there yesterday giving you a little insight into how she may act around the people she both knows and trusts, and whilst a part of you thinks it may be a false bravado due to the fact she barely knows you, you had a feeling that if you played your cards right, one day it might end up being for real. 

One could only hope right? 

"Of course." You respond.

Her skin was both soft and warm, slender fingers intertwining with your own with an ease that you didn't quite expect as she guides you over to the car. She opens the passenger door without hesitation, waiting for you to slip inside and buckle up before rounding the vehicle and slipping into the drivers seat.

You get a hint of the perfume she was wearing as she situates herself, reaching back for her own seatbelt and buckling up. It smells like vanilla, you think. Subtle yet sweet. Just like her.

"So, can I know where we're going?" You question, eyes following her hands as she pulls down her sunglasses so they sat back on her nose. She glances at you as she starts the car, her lips quirking up into a teasing smile.

"It is a secret. I promise you will love it." She assures, checking her mirrors before backing out of the spot she'd parked in.

"What? Come on. I don't even get a hint?" You plead playfully, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Alexia smiles as she pulls out onto the main road, both hands steady on the wheel. "It will be fun?” She offers, and you huff out a quiet breath of amusement as you cross one leg over the other.

"Alexia, that's not a hint. I find so many things fun. Does it have something to do with food? Is it some sort of activity? Will we be getting messy?"

Alexia merely shrugs her shoulders as she purses her lips with a soft smile. She leans back in her seat a little, laying her hand palm up on the console between you. Her fingers wiggle invitingly, and you make direct eye contact with her as you rest your hand atop of her own, slotting your fingers in between hers.

"If I tell you, it will not be a surprise." She squeezes your hand softly.

You tilt your head to the side. "I am at least dressed right?"

"Sí," Alexia nods, her hand remaining intertwined with yours as she glances your way before bringing her attention back to the road. "You look perfect. Prometo."

"That means promise, right?" You check.

Alexia glances at you again, the awe in her voice evident as she speaks. "Muy bien!" She praises fondly, and you can't help but smile so wide your eyes crinkle up at the corners.

You knew knowing one word in Spanish wasn't really that big a deal, but the proudness in Alexia's voice makes you want to do it a thousand times over.

In the twenty minute car ride to wherever she was taking you, you share small talk about the basic ins and outs of your lives. You tell her your current favourite song, Alibi, and she tells you the football team she supports. Barcelona. You tell her a little about your family; how many siblings you had and what job your mom did, and she tells you her favourite things to do in her free time. Traveling and playing football. All in all it was pretty basic information, but you had to start somewhere, right?

You were just on the topic of your mediocre Spanish knowledge when Alexia slows the car down, indicating left and pulling into an unfamiliar car park. "You have been practicing?" She asks, pulling her hand out of your own putting on the handbrake.

"A little." You admit somewhat distractedly as you look around your surroundings in a futile effort at trying to figure out where you were. "Okay, where are we? Can I please know now?" You turn back round to face her.

"Soon." she smirks, and you glare at her playfully as you step out of the car, waiting for Alexia to do the same before once again reaching for her hand. They intertwine effortlessly, Alexia locking her car before gently guiding you down the street, only walking a couple hundred yards before gently pulling you to a stop in front a somewhat small looking building.

Through the window, you could see people sat at tables painting what looked to be pottery, and your eyes widen in pure delight as you turn to face an unsure looking Alexia.

"Is this-"

"Oh my god!" You laugh, jumping up and down slightly. "This is definitely not what I imagined but it's perfect. Let's go in! What are you going to paint? I think I know what I want to paint. Maybe we could paint each other something! This is so exciting!"

Alexia watches you ramble with a small grin on her face as she allows you to push the door open and all but pull her inside. You were both immediately greeted by an employee who was quick to get you all set up with your aprons, brushes and paints, both Alexia and you deciding that out of the two tables offered that you would take the one in the back for a little extra privacy. After setting down your things, the kind employee leads you to the shelves that held so many different pottery items it was hard to differentiate what was what.

Despite that, you can't help but be excited when you're both told to take your pick out of any of them.

You hook an arm around Alexia's waist so you could talk to her without disturbing anyone else. "Which one are you picking?"

Alexia tilts her head towards you as she loosely throws her arm over your shoulder. "You said you wanted to paint one for each other, sí? You pick for me, and I will pick for you."

"Okay," you agree easily, keeping your arm around her as your eyes flicker over the shelves. Though it takes a few minutes, you do finally settle on an adorable looking fox. "This one good?"

"Sí. Perfect. This one for me, yes?" Alexia holds out the one she'd chosen, it being a penguin. You nod your head, giving her waist a squeeze before guiding her back over to your designated table. Initially, she'd been sat opposite you, bur with a short glance your way, she moves her things over to the seat next you before sitting down.

You hide your smile at this, but do scoot your chair a little closer to her own so you weren't so far apart. Alexia glances at you, an eyebrow raised, but you merely gesture to the seat opposite that she'd abandoned earning yourself a guilty smile. With a soft laugh that Alexia mimics yet chooses to stifle, you hand over your fox and take her penguin in return.

"So," you start, picking up a paintbrush and dipping it into the black paint. "How did you come up with this idea?" You begin dragging your brush over the back of the penguin, using your free hand to hold it still which results in your fingers immediately becoming covered in paint.

Alexia hums quietly as she swirls her own brush around in the orange paint. "Uhhh, Mapi help...helped me come up with a few ideas. This was the best one."

"Yeah?" You glance her way, Alexia meeting your gaze with a tentative smile as she too begins painting.

"Sí. One of the ideas was...a balloon ride?" She tries unsurely, dipping her brush back into the orange paint.

You freeze mid stroke. "A hot air balloon ride?" You ask incredulously, and Alexia nods somewhat distractedly as she focuses on not getting any paint on her skin. The thought of being that high up in the sky with nothing to keep you from falling to your inevitable death makes you shudder internally. You were so glad she hadn't picked that option because otherwise she would have been going on a date with herself.

"Sí," she nods, looking up at you. She see's the somewhat unsettled look on your face and reaches a her free hand out to rest on top of your own that was laying dormant on the table. "You do not like heights?"

You shake your head with a small grimace. "No, not really." You admit, watching the way her thumb idly strokes the skin on the top of your hand. Was such a simple action supposed to cause butterflies?

"It is a good job I did not choose it then." She acknowledges, and you hum in an agreement as you get back to painting, your free hand still linked with Alexia's.

"That would have been an incredible first date though," you say as an afterthought. "A hot air balloon ride. Can you imagine that?" You laugh, and Alexia nods her head with a quiet chuckle.

"Sí. I could." She agrees, dunking her paintbrush into the water to get rid of the orange paint before pulling it out, drying it off and dipping it into the white paint. "Mapi nearly per...persuade?" You nod. "Persuade me, but I get her to change her mind."

"Wait, you were actually considering a hot air balloon ride for a hot second?"

Alexia nods her head.

"That's crazy expensive Alexia." You laugh a little in disbelief, finishing with the black paint and starting with the white.

"That does not matter. I could take you on ten hot air balloon ride and it will not affect me." She shrugs a little carelessly, and you stare at her in incredulity.

"I have a good job, amor, do not worry." She attempts to sooth you, squeezing your hand that was still holding her own.

You roll your shoulders before nodding your head. A part of you wants to ask just what job she did, but you didn't want to come off as rude or nosey.

"Okay, I think I'm done." You admit, setting your paintbrush down and turn the ceramic penguin to face her. Alexia looks up, her lips quirking up into a satisfied smile.

"That is very good. Muy bien." She praises, and you bow playfully earning yourself soft laugh. You make a silent reminder to yourself to make her laugh again before the dates over, because you'd never heard a sound so perfect.

Alexia finishes off the foxes nose before setting her paintbrush down too, using the tip of her finger to nudge it around so it was facing you. You lean in close, smiling at all the little details she'd made sure to add.

"That's perfect." You praise, bravely leaning in and kissing her cheek. Alexia smiles a little bashfully as her eyes briefly flicker down to your lips before she clears her throat and stands up. "We need to wash our hands, sí?" She gestures over to the far corner of the room.

Despite the fact Alexia didn't have a single speck of paint on her, you nod your head and follow her over to sink anyway. You take turns in washing your hands, allowing Alexia to dry your own for you when she shyly requests to do so. She then places her hand on the small of your back as she guides you back over to the table.

A joint effort was made in cleaning up your workspace, you playfully poking Alexia in the side when she gently nudges you out of the way to pick up your paint water as well as her own. She simply sends you a cheeky smile, one you can't help but mimic as she disposes of the paint before making her way back over to you.

You were told you could pick up your 'masterpieces' in a week, Alexia noting it down on her phone so she didn't forget before paying, not giving you a single opportunity to fight her on the subject despite your futile attempts.

"Alexia-"

"No," she takes your hand and pulls you out of the building. "I ask you out, amor, so I pay, sí?"

"Well I'm paying next time. No ifs, ands, or buts about it." You state firmly, Alexia raising an eyebrow in amusement as she instinctively swings your hands back and forth.

"Next time?" She questions, debating with herself for a second before gently pulling you to a stop and backing you up against a wall down a small alley that would ultimately keep you both hidden should anyone walk by.

You allow this to happen, head tilting to the side as you stare up at her with a look of intrigue on your face.

"You think you can take me on one of the best dates I've ever been on and not expect a second one?" You question, eyebrow raised, and Alexia shakes her head playfully as she reaches up and tucks one of the loose strands of hair behind your ear.

"What if I said the date was not over?" Her hand lingers on the side of your face, the pad of her thumb trailing gently just beneath your eye.

You lean into her touch. "It's not?"

Alexia shakes her head, her eyes once again flickering down to your lips. They linger there for a lot longer than they did last time. "I have one more thing planned, after I..." she looks up to make eye contact once again.

"After you?" You murmur, hopeful.

Alexia visibly swallows as her hand lowers to cup your jaw. "I want to kiss you. Please.”

Your heart pounds at her admission. "Then do it."

Alexia brushes the pad of her thumb over your lower lip, taking in the softness. "Are you sure?"

Your lips parting in a soundless intake of breath. "Sí. Kiss me." You whisper, and Alexia leans down to tentatively connect her lip with your own. The warmth of her mouth immediately sends a current of energy throughout the entirety your body, your insides feeling as though they'd been set on fire.

Your legs instantly turn into jelly, and you can only thank the wall behind you for keeping you upright as you place your hands on the gentle curve of her waist in an effort at pulling her closer.

You could feel the soft tickle of her breath against the tip of your nose as she complies and places one of her legs between your own, her chest becoming flush with yours as her other hand rises to meet the other. Your arms loop around her waist, hands coming to rest against the small of her back.

Her lips were soft, bruising, devouring yours with such reckless abandon you can't help but want more. She was everywhere. Tongue teasing. Teeth nipping. Hands demanding. When she asks for entrance, you immediately grant it, unable to stop the soft groan from escaping your lips when you feel her tongue trace teasingly over the roof of your mouth.

You feel her smile at the sound, and you find it hard to be embarrassed when she continues kissing you like there was nowhere else she'd rather be. You couldn't quite pinpoint her taste, but it was so addictive and so Alexia it took everything in you lot to get lost or swept away.

The kiss ends much sooner than you wanted it too, Alexia pulling away, stealing two more kisses from your lips in the process. She doesn't go far, simply resting her forehead against your own, your rapid breaths mingling in the small space left between you.

"You're a really good kisser." Is all you could bring yourself to say as your eyes flutter closed, hearing her laugh softly in response as she gently brushes the backs of her fingers over your cheek. You can't help but lean into the touch.

"Gracias, amor," she whispers, tracing her thumbs against the soft skin beneath your eyes, a silent prompt for you to open them. Once you do, she leans down just slightly and presses her lips against your forehead.

"You are...asombrosa." She murmurs as she pulls away.

"I don't know what that means." You admit, still slightly breathless.

"You will soon." She promises.

**

Tags:

@simp4panos @goldenempyrean @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @liloandstitchstan @xxnaiaxx @marysfics

[xxnaiaxx]

I'M SUCH A FUCKING LESBIAN I SWEAR TO GOD, THE MANSPREADING, THE SUIT, THE HAIR UGHHHH THIS IS THE MOMENT WHEN I REAFFIRM HOW GAY I AM, THANK YOU GOD FOR MAKING ME LIKE THIS

[xxnaiaxx]

I'm so gay for this woman