with-love-from-wonderland

[with-love-from-wonderland]

https://bethmerryweather.wordpress.com/

So, I occasionally write mediocre poetry and it’d be cool if some of you could read it/give feedback! I’d be happy to reciprocate of course!

[with-love-from-wonderland]

Your words cut like a knife as you’re cutting out our rights women breaking laws just to survive another night tyrants on a power trip, men who’ll never know what it is to be forced to let such terror grow. A bundle of joy causing nothing but pain a nightmare come to life over and over again say it’s for the best, that’s nothing but a cover-up claim that you know better; well that’s just not good enough! How could you know how it feels to be used as a carrier, a mule, breeders in cages to you forced to relive your fear with each growing inch or risk the wrath of law because ‘god will not forgive’. What god do you obey if he allows such tyranny?! Women as secondary citizens, say goodbye to chivalry preach that rape is consensual as she cuts herself up coathanger in hand, but wait – how does she stop the blood? Makes it through the night but won’t survive the week foetus still inside her, turned septic and it leaked wasn’t ready to be a mother and that meant she lost her life crying family at her graveside, had to watch their baby die. If lawmakers can rule that victims can be killed how can we agree, support and vote for them still?! Wrong place, wrong face, and now you’re out of time suddenly it wasn’t your choice but it has become your crime. Six weeks gone and now you feel scared, feel trapped morning sickness comes as a double-pronged attack nothing you can do but count down the darkening days the doctor says you’ll die, but that’s how it has to stay. Ordered into motherhood, and now they’ve taken that as well they say that they’re ‘pro-life’ yet have no concern for health a week from your due date and your tears stain the paper of the note to your daughter, saying why you won’t get to meet her.

Anger at Alabama.

For those who live in ‘pro-life’ states/countries, I really hope you can get out. Women the world over are here for you and we share your anger.

[with-love-from-wonderland]

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts”

Marcus Aurelius

[with-love-from-wonderland]

“Stop giving people power to control your smile, your worth, and your attitude.”

— Mandy Hale (via quotemadness)

[with-love-from-wonderland]

Animal snaps

[with-love-from-wonderland]

A jealous mind is a dangerous one.

3 a.m. thoughts

[with-love-from-wonderland]

You ruined me because no one else can ever be you.

3 a.m. thoughts

[with-love-from-wonderland]

If all I want is the truth, why do I spout so many lies?

3 a.m. thoughts

[with-love-from-wonderland]

When will I stop trying to convince myself I haven't lost you yet?

3 a.m. thoughts

[with-love-from-wonderland]

I think I’m losing my mind.

[with-love-from-wonderland]

I’m a jealous person, I can’t really help it. I’m insecure and I worry about everything. I have this constant fear that if I let someone in, I’ll give them my whole heart and they’ll only give me half of theirs. I worry that I’ll end up alone and heart broken once again, something I dearly do not need. I’m always scared that if I give someone my heart, they’ll find someone better; someone with less problems and less drama. I can’t really help it, this “not good enough” thing. I wish I could give myself wholeheartedly to someone and they would give the same back, but any time it has happened, they end up leaving me in my misery.

(via idktorn)

[with-love-from-wonderland]

I deleted your number so that I wouldn’t be able to call you on a day like this Where I can hardly breathe without you I can hardly breathe at the thought that you’re not here and it’s been one of those days where you’re the only one I know who can make it better I can’t stop crying and I’m so scared Cause what if you’re the only one who’s ever gonna love me or worse what if you’re the only one I’m ever gonna be able to love like I loved you The naive kind of love I can’t believe I was so lucky to love you kind of love Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do kind of love I’m crying on the train home with tears smearing my lips With my heart bleeding so hard I feel like it could pour out onto the train tracks But you’re gone You’re gone I know that you’re gone

(via veincold)

[with-love-from-wonderland]

i miss the parts of you that you never showed me. the bits and pieces you claimed unholy. i want to look inside of you, shake you inside out. but i’m afraid all that is left is an empty shell. all that is left is a ghost running from itself.

[with-love-from-wonderland]

She treats you like shit, yet still you choose her.

ten word story

[with-love-from-wonderland]

"You're mine." That's how she claimed you and of course you let her, so stupidly blinded by the fact that someone like her wants someone like you, forever oblivious to how much I have cared for you and how long I have craved that you would finally see me as something more than the best friend who is feisty in bed and fierce in loyalty. She's already hurting you, so you turn to me for comfort and I bite back the advice that ends in your breakup because you really do like her and that really does kill me, but what matters most is that you're okay and that you're happy and that no matter what happens, I get to keep you in my life. "You're mine." That's the night she got her claws into you and you let her keep them there, foolishly giving in to her every desire just because you're so afraid of losing this girl, flexible beauty with the waist-length hair that she ties up in a bun as she throws herself into the air, because of course she is a gymnast, a cheerleader, and of course she is perfect - but if she's so perfect, why does she make you feel like you're not worthy of her? Why is it okay for her to ask you if she can make out with her friend, but when you quip back that you should do the same if it's acceptable for her, the answer is no - why would she ever think that is okay? "We've always done it." So fucking what? This boy damn near loves you and he's flying you to Rome, and still all you can do is ask him if you can have two while he sticks with only you. I held him as he cried, not knowing what to say because he's so damn scared of losing you that he didn't want to say it bothered him although the thought made him sick to his stomach. How could you do that to such a sweet boy? Sure he has his moments, we all do, but he would never ask of you what you asked of him and I seem to care so much more for him than you ever have yet he sees stars in your eyes and he becomes putty in your hands. "We've always done it." You're the one who claimed him, yet you are the one who now appears to bend exclusivity, the very core of a relationship because 'she's just a friend' and 'it means nothing, I promise' and 'it's an important part of going out' - well so fucking what. It shouldn't be that way now you've got him - now you've claimed him. You're breaking his heart, you're ruining him and though I've never met you, I sure hope that you see just what effect you have on his tender heart because that's all I've ever wanted yet you're the one who got it, so you'd better treat him right or you'll have me to deal with. He's my best friend and I am his, and if you fuck with his heart, you'd better believe you'll get this bull's horns.

Claimed. // with-love-from-wonderland

[with-love-from-wonderland]

Why do we feel such a need to lie to those who love just so we can get the outcome we desire? Oftentimes we don’t even ask first, we just assume the answer to be no and launch straight into a lie when good old truth is much more cleansing. I learned early on how to use my tongue to twist around words and spill untruths and white lies to make you do what it is I want you to do. I learned as a child that if you want something done right, you do it yourself but why not get someone else to do it for you instead, whispering sweet nothings so that they can bend to your will and carry out your every whim, your every desire and every last pressing need. I tell them I love them, but I’m not sure I ever really knew what love is; all I’ve ever seen are broken relationships and marriages that never last – who needs a piece of paper when all it ever becomes is scrap? So if I can get what I want and no one will know any harm has ever been done, why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t you? They call them ‘white’ lies, so doesn’t that inherently make them pure in the eyes of our polluted society? Like a wedding dress christening the bride as untainted and holy – what a lie we tell ourselves to make it all seem okay, when everyone knows the groom’s eye has so often strayed and underneath the ivory the bride is dressed in scarlet red, her mind as filthy as the soles of her shoes. A perfect love is so often just a lie, so why oh why is anyone ever surprised when it crumbles and crashes, both sides falling hard, when love becomes a competition of who can rise up from the ashes first, who can win the divorce, who can find love, sweet love once more and pretend once again that it’s just as real as the last when it never, ever is. So sure, maybe I’m not the most honest in the way I go about my life but neither are you, did you think about that? My subtle manipulations are nothing compared to your blatant bold-faced lies, and sure that’s no excuse, that doesn’t make me a better person but I’ve already come to terms with the fact I’m already damned, so now it’s time for me to make sure that when I go down, I don’t go down alone.

manipulation. // with-love-from-wonderland

[with-love-from-wonderland]

When I write about you I don’t know whether to put you in past-tense or present-tense, because you’re not in my life physically, but mentally you’ve been there for ages.

v.m (via writingboutyou)