whore-for-murdock - Tumblr blog

[whore-for-murdock]

Been struggling a bit lately, and wanted to vent.

I hope this doesn’t upset or trigger anyone. If anyone needs to talk i’m here.

Warnings: Self h*rm (indirectly mentioned), skin picking (technically self h*rm, but it’s cause of my OCD so idk), depression, self doubt, body obsessing, self hate, idk what else lmk what i missed.

Word Count: 916

glances, stares,

hoping for something to grow

while my efforts may be noticed,

the ending doesn’t seem fair

feelings, emotions,

growing endlessly

can’t tell if you’re getting there,

or if this is is all a game to you

lie told, assurance given

chances are you didn’t mean it

time and time again

efforts unnoticed

unwanted

yet i try and try

only to be let down

to fall

fall from the expectations

the height i reached

full of hope, care, feelings

too quick do they grow

faster and faster

climbing up and up

only to fall infinitely

until passing another beautiful dot on the night sky

climbing to reach it, hold it

see it for what it truly is

more than a dot,

more than a speck

amongst the millions lights, twinkling,

one that catches your eye,

your attention, shining brighter than the others

conversations start and stopped,

a tedious cycles, while necessary

information shared, bonds formed

broken, fake, brief entertainment at best

dry, dry response

when the dry one steps up

out of comfort, accommodating always

others first, others first, others first

make everyone comfortable

everyone happy

nothing is anyone’s fault, but your own

you are wrong, they are right

you are gross, desperate,

anxious, stupid,

weak, irresponsible,

they are perfect

your are beautiful and perfect,

flawed and wrong,

“you’re too pretty for that”

“just stop”

people say they love you, you’re gorgeous

then tell you to change,

stop ruining what they expect of you

what you should be to them

never ask why, never offer help

just stop being you

stop struggling, stop being human

be an object of their affections until they find a new toy

be everything but…

but what happens to you

when you’re cut up

spit out

expected to piece yourself to get the way they want

doesn’t matter if the pieces don’t match

we’ll get rid of those

leave only the good parts

the pretty parts

only what’s acceptable

imagine struggling

like your a person

like you have feelings

don’t struggle

you can’t struggle

you don’t know struggle

you haven’t experienced racism

youre not black enough

not really anyways

you are not black enough

say the n-word, come on, your black right

you’re not black enough

enough

rips though a person with doubt

whether they are enough

kenough

unrequited love

happens to everyone

more time than i can count

always put the effort

never sought out

never the first choice

always an afterthought

always an afterthought

always an afterthought

always blamed

always flawed

always forced to smile pretty

act like everything is fine,

while i cry myself to sleep

night after night

voice too loud

listen to everyone

they are right and you are wrong

their opinion matters

don’t be happy with yourself

change

change for them

they matter

they matter

everyone matter except for you

you should calm down

you should be less loud

you should

you should

you should

everyone has an opinion

always have something to say

you should

you should

you should be ashamed

hide things, hide yourself

don’t make mistakes,

and if you do

don’t move on, don’t learn

dwell

dwell on it

because you were wrong and they were right

never forget

they are always right

but never ask for help

don’t struggle

don’t make mistakes

always know things

always understand

you’re supposed to be smart

but you’re always wrong

never right

never right

never right

wrong for being sad

wrong for hurting

wrong for feeling pain

so you hide, feel a different type of pain

feel something other than numb

wrong

you’re wrong

don’t hurt yourself

we care

we want to help

share, we want you too

pain, unbearable and consuming,

stop

what are you doing

why can’t you be happy

you’ve got it so good

it’s too much, you’re too sad

your make us sad

hide

hide everything

don’t share, don’t hurt, don’t feel numb

wear a mask

be happy

please everyone

please everyone

everyone matters and you don’t

unconditional

but they don’t love you, not for who you are

change

change

change

conditional

scars negate beauty

conditional

hide them

change them

change

stop, being you stop struggling

stop your brain from working against you

stop your skin from itching so intensely,

until scabs are gone

and red coat once beautiful milk chocolate colored skin

stop having OCD

stop letting a disorder ruin your beauty

youre gorgeous until you move,

until you speak

until you bleed and struggle and feel and breathe and simple exist

you are perfect until you aren’t

and you’re never perfect

until you fit the microscopic box of expectation everyone makes go you

you never try

wasting time

if they don’t see it it didn’t happen

you do everything to make other happy

to avoid conflict

to be perfect

to stop being compared to

the amazing, perfect, successful 27 year old

that you idolize

that haunts you

compared

you aren’t compared

you’d have to matter to be compared

and you don’t matter

you don’t matter

you don’t matter

selfish because they don’t see

selfish for wanting to do one thing for yourself

disgusting

they raised you

did everything for you

but you’re wrong, they’re right

you don’t enjoy this, they do

they always have

now you can never enjoy it

how dare you

how selfish of you

this was their thing, not yours

it’s not for you

you don’t deserve

people can only deserve things if they matter

you don’t matter

you don’t matter

you will never matter.

[whore-for-murdock]

Can’t You See That You’re Lost Without Me? - Chapter IV

Nameless Ghouls(Ghost band) x Black!OC

Series Summary: Asteria is forced out of her home and old life, but maybe it’s for the better.

Chapter Summary: Asteria is scared for the first time since she arrived at the abby, having walls starting to get broken down always is.

Warnings: Lowkey boring meeting, Asteria probably being dramatic, probably bad writing, and idk what else

I would love and very much appreciate any constructive criticism, please interact (like or comment, reposts if you really want to) if you enjoy. Comment or dm me if you want me to start a taglist.

Mountain and I spend hours under the sycamore tree, talking about everything and nothing all at once. I learn that he plays the drums, his favorite plant is a blue wisteria, and other small things are shared. I tell him that I have a less-than-optimal relationship with my mother, to say the least, not going into full detail or explaining the healing wounds on my face when asked. I also share with him my love of drawing, baking, and rollerblading.

“No way!” I say before laughing loudly.

“I’m serious!” Mountain says through a laugh himself. I laugh to the point that I can barely breathe and begin leaning against Mountain, trying to catch my breath. Throughout our lengthy conversation, we made a lot of progress as he slowly stopped flinching when my hand neared to get where we are now.

“So, you’re telling me that,” I pause, a small giggle escaping my lips, “that you didn’t talk to any of them for three days because he said he doesn’t like the color green?” It wasn’t as funny as our laughter made it seem, but the way he told the story made it seem like the most interesting and, in this case, the funniest thing in the world.

“Well, yeah, it really offended me.” He said looking down at me, my head now calmly resting on his shoulder. I comfortable silence now rests over the garden, I glance up to find him still looking at me, a soft look in his eyes.

His head turns quickly towards the door I came through. I turn my head in that direction to find another ghoul standing stiffly, her hands resting behind her back. The hair on her mask is far more embellished and full compared to the display on Mountain’s.

“It’s time for practice,” she says simply before scurrying inside. Mountain shifts beside me and I quickly lift my head so he could stand. He holds out a hand to help me up and we walk inside together before parting ways.

-- -- 

I make my way to the dining area, to try and get a midnight snack. I hadn’t even bothered trying to go to sleep for the night. Any attempts would have been fruitless anyway. Before I could make it all the way to some much-desired food, I notice someone sitting by one of the very large windows along the hallway walls.

The slivers of moonlight peeking through the clouds gleam off the silver mask that rests on the person’s face. The ghoul’s head turns to me, and I quickly come to a halt. Vibrant light-blue irises shine from behind their mask. My eyes trail down at their outfit to find more casual, comfortable clothes, compared to the slightly restricting uniform I had seen the ghouls and ghoulettes wearing in the band room. I rack my brain to try and remember how I can identify this ghoul without finding the symbols on their uniforms.

Water Ghouls - Light-blue

The calmest of the ghouls. 

Quickest to form a bond with, even without gifts or trinkets.

Maintain a calm and slow approach, and allow them to accommodate to your general presence before attempting to speak to or even touch them.

I slowly walked to and sat across from the water ghoul in the wide ministry window. I stared out the window with them, watching as it begins to rain, small droplets gliding down the window panes. I stole many glances towards them to find their mask was identical to Mountain’s. We made eye contact a few times, however, he always broke it first, not seeming threatened by my presence or gaze.

Almost an hour had passed before I first spoke.

“Hi,” I whisper, not wanting to disrupt the quiet atmosphere that surrounded us too much. He quickly moves his gaze to me, his eyes analyzing me for a few moments before he responds.

“Hey,” he pauses for a moment or two seeming to gather his thoughts. “I’m Rain.”

“Nice to meet you, Rain,” I say smiling kindly at him. “It’s really pretty tonight, huh?”

“Yeah,” he responds, his focus on the clouds once more. “Why are you up so late? Don’t humans need a full night's sleep?” Curiosity fills his gaze as he turns to me again, however, I continue looking outside and avoid, what seems to be, concern in his eyes.

“Some. I can’t sleep anyways, so I thought I’d wander for a bit.” He hums a response, looking outside once more. Silence settles again as the sky slowly brightens, the time spent here becoming apparent.

“Thanks,” I pause, gathering my thoughts a bit. “For bringing me back here. I have no idea where I would have gone if you hadn’t.”

“It wasn’t a problem. Plus you had passed out, it would’ve been wrong to just leave you there. Speaking of which, how’d you end up out there? With all those injuries?”

I suck in a quick breath, my mind wandering back to my mother and her afflictions towards me. Tears build at my waterline without me realizing as I continue looking up at the sky.

“Sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he quickly back-tracks so as to not upset me. I blink away the tears once I look at him and smile sadly as the sun slowly peaks out from behind the tree line. I stand, ready to continue my way towards the kitchen. Before I leave, I glance at the ghoul again.

“Oh, uh thank you for yesterday,” I said quietly.

He tilts his head cutely, confusion clouding his gaze.

“For protecting me, when I accidentally set off one of the other ghouls. I appreciate it.” I say, waiting before walking off to gauge his reaction.

His gaze scans my face thoroughly, his eyes conveying an emotion I can't decipher about what he was feeling. He glances away as though to gather his thoughts.

“I didn’t want anything else to happen to you after how we found you. Out in the woods,” he turns his eyes back to me, the look in his eyes now registering as protective and care, something I have seen very rarely. 

My cheeks heat up at his word, his voice dripping with care, a truly foreign substance to me. I duck my head and hurry down the hall, continuing on to find the kitchen, not exactly knowing how to process, let alone respond to his words.

Once a fair distance away, I slow to a moderate pace, realizing that I might get close to people here, the ghouls especially, and that scares me.

[whore-for-murdock]

Can’t You See That You’re Lost Without Me? - Chapter III

Nameless Ghouls(Ghost band) x Black!OC

Series Summary: Asteria is forced out of her home and old life, but maybe it’s for the better.

Chapter Summary: Asteria gains mountains trust, with flower crowns.

Warnings: Fluffy meeting, probably bad writing, and idk what else

I would love and very much appreciate any constructive criticism, please interact (like or comment, reposts if you really want to) if you enjoy. Comment or dm me if you want me to start a taglist.

Papa walks me back to my room so that I can read through liber ghoulius eorumque historia and prepare to meet the ghouls. I skim the table of contents, squinting to comprehend the small messy font, stopping when I find one titled Gaining a Ghoul’s Trust. Skip straight to that chapter, I learn that there are six different types of ghouls — air, quintessence, earth, water, multi, and fire.

I skimmed through the information, making it through the first three ghouls and how to gain their trust when a knock rang through my new room. After resting the book on my desk, I open my door to see Papa standing before me.

“Ah, Asteria, are you ready to have a short introduction to the ghouls?” He asks me smoothly.

“Sure.”

-- --

“I’ll go in first, and just be careful the ghouls are often wary of new presences. Even the ones who brought you here may end up feeling threatened by you, now that you are in better shape and conscious,” he warns me, concern and worry prominent on his features. I only nod, watching as he slowly pushes open the heavy door and walks inside. I slip in behind him, his taller stature shielding me from the gazes of the ghouls.

Papa briefly informs the ghouls of my presence, before stepping aside, allowing me to be seen. I glance around the eight tall figures scattered around the large room. After a few short moments of staring at all of them and being stared at in return, the shortest masked being charged at me, their red iris narrowed into slits. Their eyes now seem cat-like as I back up quickly, he is, however, grabbed quickly by two of the much taller ghouls. I recognize one of them as the purple-eyed ghoul who had found me in the woods, the other had light-blue eyes. This one seemed shy as he avoids eye contact with me the entire time I watch them hold the red-eyes ghoul back.

The aggressive being calms down rapidly, as though all of their energy is zapped out of them. I stare on, wide-eyed, as they drag the, now, unconscious person out of the room. With a few of them gone and less attention placed on me, I took some time to look around the room. It has a large stage in the furthest part of the room, various instruments scattered around, and a few large couches are placed in front of the stage. A half kitchen with a fridge, microwave, and sink, the walls lined with soundproofing foam.

“Um… Hi, I’m Asteria.” I introduced myself with a small wave. Only two ghouls return my wave, seeming to be the least wary of my presence. Papa then takes my hand and begins leading me back to the door I came through.

“You will have just over a week to get used to them and gain their trust, before beginning the full extent of your job. I find it best you start with the air ghouls, they are the most open and easily trusting.” Papa informs me, holding the door open for me. Before leaving, I calmly wave the white-eyed and dark blue-eyed ghouls over to me, as they had been the only ones to wave back.

-- --

As I walk through cool halls, passing large windows with a lattice pattern, looking out into a vast garden. As I observe the warm autumn colors, the leaves begin to change and grass withers away slowly, only to notice an out-of-place patch of vibrant green plants as well as a few vivid colored flowers. My steps come to a halt as I move closer to the window, the new growth occurring in the transition season that is fall sticks out like a sore thumb.

Upon closer inspection, I notice a ghoul at the epicenter of the lively plants, seeming to be in its element. At this, I realize it’s the abbey’s earth ghoul. I find the nearest door and slowly make my way outside, making sure to keep my hands in front of me to appear as less of a threat. The ghoul doesn’t pick up on my presence until I step into the patch of green, their eyes shooting open quickly as their head turns to me. I raise my hands in front of me, my palms toward them, halting my approach. I recall the information on gaining an earth ghoul's trust as the ghoul sitting before me calmed slightly.

It is best to start outside, where they feel calmest and grounded. As with gaining any ghoul's trust, approach slowly, and just stay in their presence for some time. They will trust that you aren’t a threat any more if you also respect personal space and any parts of nature around you. A small gift or trinket that resembles nature in any way and you will have fully gained their trust.

I slowly inched my way closer to him, my hands still extended in front of me. I sit beside him with a good three feet between us, my legs crossed beneath me. I feel his eyes on me, but I keep my eyes on the vibrant flowers and plants surrounding me, some out-of-season vegetation flourishes around, no doubt a result of the earth ghoul’s powers.

Noticing some daisies and chamomile flowers near me, I realize the perfect gift to give to him. I calmly reach towards the beautifully growing flowers and weave them together in an alternating manner. As I do I think of the meanings of the two flowers and how they coordinate perfectly what I am using them for.

I soon run out of chamomile flowers near me, so I place down the partially made flower crown to get some that had grown farther away. However, before I could stand more of the bright white flowers rapidly grow before me. I glance beside me to see the ghoul’s eyes staring at me curiously from behind his mask, his hand motioning for me to continue what I was doing.

I pluck the last flower I need and close the crown, although it’s missing something. I glance around searching for something to tie it all together, when some ivy vines catch my eye. I quickly wrap the vine around the tied flowers loosely before turning to the ghoul beside me and presenting the crown to him. He only stares at it with his head tilted to the side slightly. ‘Adorable.’ I shake my head just slightly to remind myself to focus on the task at hand.

I begin to raise the crown placed on his head, but he flinches back before I can, my actions seeming to have startled him. I pause, and gesture to show him what I’m trying to do with the crown. He loosens the tension in his shoulders and moves back to how he was, allowing me to place the flowers on top of his silver mask.

I smile at him, the flowers complementing his vibrant green eyes greatly. The corners of his eyes crinkle leading me to believe he was smiling back at me.

“What’s your name?” I ask curiously.

“Mountain.”

[whore-for-murdock]

Can’t You See That You’re Lost Without Me? - Chapter II

Nameless ghouls (Ghost Band) x Black!OC

Series Summary: Asteria is forced out of her home and old life, but maybe it’s for the better.

Chapter Summary: Asteria is offered a job and meets Papa.

Warning: Probably bad writing, idk what else.

I would love and very much appreciate any constructive criticism, please interact (like or comment, reposts if you really want to) if you enjoy. Comment or dm me if you want me to start a taglist.

I pull my curls into a bun at the top of my head, covering my hair with my shirt so it won’t get too wet. I showered, washing my face carefully, spending about thirty minutes in the warm water. When I get out, wrapping the fluffy towel around myself, I walk to the wardrobe, finding a dress identical to Jess’. Only now do I notice an upside-down cross embroidered above the right breast area.

My eyes widen, realizing what this means about the people I have recently encountered. I slip the dress on, relatively unbothered by the new information. If they were to kill me for a sacrifice or any other practice I was told satanists have, they would have done it already. Opening the two drawers at the bottom of the wardrobe find a pair of Mary Janes in one and black knee-high socks with two white stripes at the top in the other.

As I slip the shoes on, a knock rings through the room. I open the door to see Jess, right on time, she smiles gesturing for me to follow her through the hallway. As we walk I realize that the entire building has an old gothic style, from the windows to the arches. I stare at Jessica expectantly after she points out the way to the important room I need to be able to get to. Though it takes some time for her to notice my curious gaze, she soon begins to tell me about the ghouls.

“We have eight ghouls here in the abbey. Papa summoned them to assist him during mass, and rituals. They even help members that are higher up in the church with their tasks. They aren’t allowed near any others, however.” She says hesitantly, as though she is fearful of even mentioning the ghouls and what they do. She looks over and quickly notices my growing confusion. “As you may or may not have noticed, this is an unholy church of Satan. Papa Emeritus IV is the current Papa, his role in our church is similar to that of a priest in a holy church. Papa summoned the ghouls from hell to do all the things I told you they do around here.” I walk beside her silently as I process this information.

-- --

Jess soon walks off leaving me to my thoughts. I continue to walk through the halls, being broken out of my thoughts by my name being called from behind me. I turn to find a sister who holds a strong aura of authority. She motions for me to follow her before quickly walking away from me, I jog slightly to catch up to her. She leads me to what seems to be her office, filled with dark tones.

She gestures to a seat in front of her desk and I sit, awaiting information as to why she brought me here. She stares me down and I shift uncomfortably under her stern gaze, her intimidating aura worsening the deafening silence. She finally breaks the silence and tension addressing her reason for bringing me here, while holding a book in her hands.

“Do you wish to stay here? Long-term?” She asks, I think it over quickly, deciding that living in a satanist church is better than wandering aimlessly through the woods.

“I do, but may I ask some of the general beliefs of your church? I don’t want to be shunned again…” I trail off, my last moments in my old church. Sympathy flashes through her eyes before she clears her throat.

“Here, we give into sin and are accepting of everything, you will be accepted here. So long as you worship Satan, you will always be welcome here. If you wish not to, you are to leave once you have fully healed.” She states fluidly, as though she has said it a thousand times before. I blink at her processing all the information she gave me quickly, before making my decision.

“I’ll stay here, worship Satan and anything else you may ask of me. I’d never be opposed to the opportunity to join such an accepting religion.” I say, my gut telling me this is the best place for me.

“Great. You will need to take up a contributing role in the covenant, unfortunately, we only have one position open for the time being. It comes with many responsibilities, are you willing to take on a job that will be consistently demanding?” She questions now standing beside her desk, staring down at me.

“Yes.”

-- --

I stood in front of Papa, Sister Imperator having just introduced us. His face is covered in black and white makeup, which only put me off initially. He smiles down at me softly, sensing my nervousness.

“How are you doing, cara mia?” He asks me in a soft tone that calms my nerves quickly. His heterochromatic eyes stare at me with a hint of concern as they pass over the healing injuries on my face. I remain silent for a few moments, unsure of what my answer would be.

“Better than I have in a while, Papa,” I state shyly, not knowing how I am supposed to act around the important figure of the unholy church. I kept my answer short so as to not get scolded for rambling. Papa’s smile widens at my positive answer as he gestures for me to walk alongside him.

“Has your upcoming job been explained to you?” He asks as we walk slowly through the abbey, entering a part I haven’t been near before, though I haven’t been to many places here. I shake my head before answering.

“Not yet, though Sister Imperator did give me this book Liber Ghoulius Eorumque Historia, so I assume it pertains to them,” I say carefully, hoping I didn’t butcher the pronunciation of the book title. Papa glances at me, seeming to take notice of the book under my arm at this point.

“And how much do you know about our ghouls?” He presents another question, his tone becoming more serious with this question.

“I know that they were summoned here, by you and the Papas before you, to assist you with masses and that, at least from the only other member of the covenant I’ve met, they might be dangerous.” I list, thinking of the information Jess had given me. I glance up at Papa to see him looking back at me with his eyes widened slightly.

“You know more about them than I would have thought. You are correct in assuming they have the potential to be dangerous, which is why we keep them isolated from the covenant at most times.” He stops walking and fully faces me, his expression deadly serious. “Are you sure you wish to take this job? It will require you to be with or near them for most of the day, for almost every day of the week.” He informs me, staring deeply into my eyes, holding my hands in his, creating a tense atmosphere around us. Mulling it over in my head quickly, I decided to take the job, not really having anything to lose at the moment.

“I am, but you still haven’t told me what the job is exactly,” I say, breaking the intense eye contact.

“You will watch the ghouls, keeping them on time and on task when needed for the most part,” he states calmly, watching me carefully to gauge my reaction to what the job is.

“So I’m gonna be their manager or would it be more like their babysitter?”

[whore-for-murdock]

Can’t You See That You’re Lost Without Me? - Chapter 1

Nameless ghouls (Ghost band) x Black!OC

Series Summary: Asteria is forced out of her home and old life, but maybe it’s for the better.

Chapter Summary: When her mother reaches her last straw with Asteria, Asteria is forced to come to terms with a new, strange environment. One that presents a stark contrast to that of her previous one.

Warning: Abuse, probably bad writing, potentially unrealistic portrayal of seeing a ghoul first thing when you wake up with a concussion, idk what else.

I would love and very much appreciate any constructive criticism, please interact (like or comment, reposts if you really want to) if you enjoy. Comment or dm me if you want me to start a taglist.

I quietly exit the cabinet, grabbing the few bags I had in my room and filling them with my things. I managed to sneak into my bathroom to grab other necessities such as a toothbrush and deodorant. I quickly tossed the bags just outside the dark window, before grabbing my secret stash of money amounting to about a hundred-fifty dollars. Just as I finish grabbing it, my door slams open, my mother fuming in its wake.

I scramble to my feet, as she approaches me quickly, sprinting to the front door. I fumble with the locks for a moment, allowing her time to catch up to me. Just as I get the door fully unlocked and begin to pull it open, my mother pulls my head back by my hair, with a deadly grip once more, and slams my forehead into the door pushing it closed. Black dots fill my vision as I crumble to the floor. Fighting the urge to slip into unconsciousness, I reach for the door handle again. Opening the door successfully and doing my best to crawl out of the doorway.

As I slowly push myself up, nearly out of the house, my mother's foot makes contact with my back, making me fall and tumble down the porch steps. I barely open my eyes to see her glaring at me, as the ringing in my ears grows louder, I can just barely hear her say, “You are no daughter of mine.” I black out soon after she slams the door shut.

----

I groan softly as I slowly open my eyes, my head pounding, my body stiff and aching from the abuse it endured not long ago. I pushed myself up slowly, though every part of my body protested at the movement. I walked around the house to where my bags were, grabbing them and setting off to anywhere but that wretched house. I continue to walk slowly, not only due to my aching limbs but also because of the darkness that still surrounds me. I had slept for a few hours before coming to, waking in the early hours of the morning.

I walk till the sun peaks from behind the trees, stopping at the edge of town where the houses lessen to meet a dense forest that residents of the small town make a clear point to avoid. I take a deep breath before stepping into the forest, not wishing to see the stares of people I have known my entire life. The same people who had shunned me and ridiculed me. My eyelids grow heavy as I pass the identical trees knowing that I am very lost. I stop next to a large tree, knowing mindlessly walking through the dense foliage will do me no good, and sit against the tree as I quickly close my eyes, falling asleep.

-- --

I hear a soft conversation near me as I begin waking up once more for the day. The voices grow closer as I slowly open my eyes and look toward where the conversation was coming from. I make eye contact with vibrant purple eyes, staring at me closely with concern filling them as they glance around my face. I am confused when I see the concerned look in their eyes, as they are the only feature of theirs that I can see. Memories of last night fill my head quickly and I realize that bruises have begun to form on my dark skin.

I bring my hand up and gently rub my forehead, as I survey the silver facial coverings the person in front of me adorns. Though there is a cut out for the person's mouth, it can’t be seen, hidden by a black mask of sorts. Silver hair is depicted on the mask, along with two horns poking out at the top of their head. A deep voice comes from behind the slightly unsettling mask before me.

“Are you alright?” He asks softly, as his eyes continue to stare at my (visible) injuries. I go to respond but am caught off guard by movement behind the figure in front of me. Having forgotten the other person's presence, I glanced at them quickly, noticing light blue eyes behind an identical mask. Instead of responding, I attempted to stand, finally coming to my senses and realizing the potential danger I could be in with the two masked men, alone, deep in the woods.

However, once I am standing fully, blood rushes to my head quickly, and a headache instantly forms, causing me to stumble. My head, clearly unable to take more blood, shuts down, forcing me to pass out and fall forward. Before completely losing consciousness, I feel two strong arms catch me. The last thing I see is those purple eyes framed by the strange silver mask staring down at me.

-- --

I slowly open my eyes to find myself in a dimly lit room. I look to my right to find a large window, the forest I was in not long ago lying behind tall stone walls and iron gates. I jolt up, realizing I didn’t know where I was exactly. Looking to my left, a tall figure stands in the doorway, dressed in all black, a black button, black dress pants with suspenders, and black dress shoes to complete the ensemble. A silver mask rests on their face, similar to the two men I had encountered in the forest. I recognize the stark purple eyes from the day before, however, I still push myself into the far corner of the bed. He raises both his hands in front of him to present himself as non-threatening as he fully enters the room.

“Glad you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He asks, pulling out a chair from a desk I hadn’t noticed. I remained in the farthest corner from him as I shrugged slightly, avoiding eye contact, my throat dried out after the numerous naps I’d taken for the day. My head was still foggy from what may be a concussion, my ribs screamed for me not to move and calm my breathing. He sighs, standing and leaving the room.

In his absence, I take in the rest of the room. Taking note of the large wardrobe next to the desk, a door leading to what I assume to be a bathroom, the small desk on the same wall as the door into this room, and my bags sitting beside the desk. All the furniture is made of the same dark wood that resembles that of the trees in the surrounding forest. The walls are made of stone just like the walls outside. In the corner of the room across from the bed is a fireplace and a small loveseat made of a dark fabric. The room has a very cozy, dark academia aesthetic that I would enjoy more if I knew how I got here and if I knew where she was.

I slowly stand from the bed, swaying only slightly before fully gaining my balance. I walk into the bathroom, taking in my appearance in the mirror. A dark bruise from being punched on my left cheek, my bottom lip split but the blood was gone as it glistens with some sort of ointment, my right eyebrow also split from my collision with the door, my forehead also darkening from the forming bruise. I turn on the sink, leaning down to sip the cool water, sighing in relief as the cool liquid runs down my throat.

A woman walks into the room as I exit the bathroom, she’s dressed in a simple long-sleeved black dress that stops just before her knees, accompanied by knee-high socks and Mary Janes. She smiles softly at me, seeming surprised that I wasn’t in the bed.

“Hi. I’m Jessica, Jess for short,” she greets, staring at me kindly. “Two of our ghouls found you in the woods, they brought you here so we could help with your injuries. I understand if you’re scared and you are welcome to leave at any time, but you can stay until you heal. Longer if you so wish,” She reassured me, calming me just slightly knowing that I am not trapped here.

“I’m Asteria,” I state meekly, my shyness shining through. She smiles wider at my response.

“Well, Asteria, there are clothes in the wardrobe if you want to shower and change. I’ll come back in an hour so you can adjust a bit.” She says starting to leave the room. I reach for her arm quickly before she can reach the door. She turns back to me, clearly confused.

“What are ghouls?” I question, settling on the first coherent question that ran through my head as I thought of the mysterious masked figures I had encountered. She smiles at me, patting my arm before walking to the door again.

“I’ll explain everything when I give you the tour.” She says from outside the door just before closing it. Leaving me alone with my thoughts.

[whore-for-murdock]

Masterlist:

Ghost (Swedish Band)

Oneshots:

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Short Stories (2-4 Chapters):

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Series (5+ Chapters):

Can’t You See That You’re Lost Without Me - Asteria is forced out of her home and old life, but maybe it’s for the better.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4