whoisashleya

[whoisashleya]

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

I feel like I’m unraveling again. Like a frayed wire sparking and glitching, trying to function but barely holding itself together. Everything around me feels distant, like I’m watching my life through an old, static-filled TV screen—hazy, distorted, detached.

I know the signs. I feel myself slipping back into old habits, the ones I swore I wouldn’t return to. Ignoring messages, isolating, letting the dishes pile up, skipping meals or eating mindlessly. Numbness wrapping itself around me like a weighted blanket, but not the comforting kind—the suffocating one that pins me down. Even my escapes aren’t working. Books, the one thing that usually pulls me away from my own mind, aren’t hitting the same. I turn pages, I see the words, but they don’t sink in. The stories don’t reach me. Nothing does.

I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or if the darkness is creeping back in, sinking its claws into me, but I feel heavy. Hollow and heavy at the same time. A contradiction. A ball of static moving through the motions of life, buzzing but lifeless. I get up, I work, I exist—but I don’t live.

I don’t know what to do with this feeling. I tell myself it will pass, that I’ve been here before and made it through. But right now, I’m just tired.

[whoisashleya]

My Dearest Me,

I see you. I see the exhaustion in your bones, the way your mind races, the way your heart feels like it’s carrying more weight than it was ever meant to bear. I see the way you fight every single day, showing up even when everything inside you is screaming to stop. You are tired, and I don’t blame you. You have been holding so much for so long.

I know it feels like you’re on the edge, like the ground beneath you is crumbling, like you’re bracing for the moment everything crashes down. And maybe—just maybe—you’re right there, teetering. But listen to me: this is not where your story ends.

I know you don’t have time to fall apart right now. You have responsibilities, dreams, people who rely on you. And it feels so unfair, doesn’t it? To carry so much and still not be able to set it down. But I need you to hear me—you are not alone in this. I am here. We are here. You are not weak for feeling like this. You are not failing because you’re struggling. You are human. And my love, you are doing your best.

I won’t lie to you—this is hard. It’s heavier than words can hold. But it will not last forever. This storm will pass, even if right now it feels endless. And when it does, you will still be here. You will still be standing. And you will be stronger for having survived it.

So breathe, my love. Let yourself rest when you can. Let yourself feel, even when it’s messy, even when it’s inconvenient. And when you can’t hold it together, let me hold you.

You are not breaking. You are bending, shifting, surviving. And no matter what, I will be here with you. Always.

With all the love and patience in the world,

Me

[whoisashleya]

Dear Feelings,

You got me again, didn’t you? Always jumping in headfirst, attaching yourself to someone who was never really mine to hold. I get it—you’re eager, you want connection, and you see the best in people. But this time, you chose someone who wasn’t ready, someone who had their own healing to do.

I wish you had been a little more careful, a little more guarded. But that’s not who we are, is it? We feel deeply. And even though it hurts right now, I know this will pass. I’ll learn, I’ll grow, and next time, I’ll listen to my intuition a little more.

So, here’s the deal: let’s stop beating ourselves up about it. He wasn’t the one, and that’s okay. We’ll get through this together, one day at a time.

With love,

Me

[whoisashleya]

To the One Who Keeps Me Guessing

Dear Mr. Ambivalent,

Since we met, our connection has been like a thread woven with possibility - intriguing, intoxicating, but always just out of reach. You have a way of drawing me in, of lighting sparks with your words, your flirtations, and the glimpses you allow of something deeper. And yet, for all of that, I'm still on the outside looking in, unsure if I'll ever be allowed closer.

Your presence feels deliberate, your attention deliberate. You flirt with me like it's second nature, but what lies beneath that? Is it real? Is it more than a game? Because while I enjoy the way you make me feel in those moments, I can't live in them alone. I want to know if there's more to this than banter and chemistry - a foundation worth building on.

I'm not here to ask for what you cannot give. I"m here to ask for honesty. If this is just for fun, say so. If you feel something more, show me. Let me in just enough to see if this connection can become something real, something worth pursuing.

But if you cannot - or if you won't - then I will step away. Not because I don't feel something for you, but because I can't stay in this space where the lines between us remain so blurred. I deserve clarity, and I deserve to be more than just a source of fleeting attention.

You've captured my curiosity, and maybe even my heart. But I need more than clever words and distant attention. I need something grounded, something mutual. If you're willing, I'll meet you there. If not, I'll walk away with my head high and my heart open to what's next.

With hope and strength,

Ashley <3

[whoisashleya]

💔 Heartbreaking Scene 💔 Six precious souls, abandoned and alone, left to fend for themselves in a condemned house. As I stumbled upon this heartbreaking sight, my heart shattered into a million pieces. These dogs deserve love, care, and a warm home, not the cold walls of neglect. Let’s spread awareness and rally together to rescue these innocent beings. Every share, every voice counts. Let’s give them the second chance they deserve. #RescueTheAbandoned #SpreadLoveNotNeglect 🐾

[whoisashleya]

Where my sad girlies at?

[whoisashleya]

[whoisashleya]

Naruto x Studio Ghibli

[whoisashleya]

[whoisashleya]

“If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.”

— Unknown

[whoisashleya]

[whoisashleya]

This is the ADHD experience, lol.

[whoisashleya]

ADHD acceptance therapy has looked like this for me so far

“I’m a terrible person, I’m a failure.”

“No no, I have executive functioning differences that cause my behaviours and struggles.”

“Oooh my ADHD makes me a terrible person and a failure. I’m all better now!”

[whoisashleya]

Gavin Casalegno as Jeremiah Fisher + Emotions

[whoisashleya]

Spooky valentine stickers from 1966 PNGs.

(source)