psychotic bitch obsessed with psychology ; all pronouns
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen
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*shakes parents like chew toy* please stop telling me about your marital issues and arguments I am dealing with enough already
I'm not your therapy dog I'm your child
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Yall ever like. Sleep all day bc you were deeply fatigued and in severe pain, and you're up at 3am, but it's not like you're actually up late bc you've barely been awake today. But also you're like "should I be sleeping again... but I was just sleeping, and I don't really wanna go back to sleeping, " and like you have chronic nightmares/intense dreams, and you really don't feel like dreaming more bc you dreamt all day?
Or like. Is that just me?
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i'm working late 🎶 (obsessively organising my bookshelf at 1am) cause i'm a singer 🎶 (a bored neurosexy person who needs a project to hyperfixate on)
#someone PLEASE ASK ME TO EXPLAIN MY ORGANISATION SYSTEM#booklr#reading#girlhood#desiblr#hell is a teenage girl#girlblogging#espresso#desi academia#bookshelf#bookshelves#book tumblr#books and libraries#home library#adhd#neurodivergent#hyperfixation
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do you ever laugh with your friends and think oh this is the point. this is the point of everything
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basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up. and also really bad at going to sleep
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I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr
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a man self immolated in front of the israeli embassy in washington dc yesterday. not just any man. an active member of the us air force. he live streamed his death, and said that he refused to be complicit in a genocide any longer. he said that compared to what palestinians were facing every day, setting himself alight was nothing.
let me reiterate. an active duty air force member burned himself alive because he was so disgusted by what the us government was openly supporting. he live-streamed his own suicide, so the whole world could bear witness as a man in his military uniform set himself on fire to protest his government’s complicity in the horrors that we have all been forced to watch happen in real time. he became a new horror. footage of the immolation blurs him out the moment the fire catches, but you can hear him. it is over in seconds, really, but you can hear him screaming. he shouts “free palestine” until his body physically cannot make any sounds other than guttural screams of agony. and then he falls silent. a police officer arrives and points a gun at his still burning body, shouting at him to get down on the ground. and it is over.
his name was Aaron Bushnell. he was twenty five years old. and he isn’t here anymore because the political ruling class has decided that genocide is perfectly fine as long as it preserves imperialism. in the coming days, people will try to discredit him. to say that he was mentally unstable. they will try to bury his actions to save face and defend israel’s propaganda. do not let them. aaron knew what he was doing. he knew what he was doing when he put on his military uniform, set up his twitch stream, and made his final walk up to the embassy. he knew what would happen to him when he flicked that lighter. do not let them forget. aaron’s blood is on the hands of the political ruling class.
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I hate this world.
fuck the USA. fuck Israel
death to all colonizers
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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
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Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost
The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
The “put on a persona” method.
The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
The “wait for a trigger” method.
The “do it for your future self” method.
The “might as well” method.
The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
The “make it easy” method.
The “junebugging” method.
The “just show up” method.
The “accept when you need help” method.
The “make it into a game” method.
The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
The “trick yourself” method.
The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
The “let go of should” method.
The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
The “fork theory” method.
The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
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WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:
1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t
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Secret thoughts on Home.
We moved the chairs out of our dining room to make sure Mini wouldn’t hit her head. It’s funny, at that moment, the house looked bigger, yet at the same time, it felt emptier. I pictured the sofa without her fur, or the lack of the distinctive ‘Mini smell’ of the house. I spent years scrunching my nose at it, “Sorry about the smell, Mini pees sometimes” I’d tell guests.
Now I hope it never leaves. Day by day, I see this more as an ordinary house and not home. It was home, a dog, a bright daughter, a grandfather, peaceful parents, and didi. Now all that feels like home is my cat, and my room. I stay for too long in that room, I fear staying around with my parents too much will end in inevitable arguments and me scrambling out of the door with keys of the other house in my pocket. That house is peaceful, yes. But it’s quiet. It’s not home.
My body rarely feels like home anymore, I believe it only houses pain that ebbs and flows, striking at the worst possible moments to leave me in paralyzing misery, wishing to leave this prison.
People I once called home begin to feel more distant now. It’s either graduation, or the reasons I tell everyone on why we “grew apart”. Some send fewer texts, call less, sometimes I can’t recall the last time I hugged them. I worry whoever I do have left will eventually get sick of my repetitive complaining, or see myself for the messy, lost individual I truly am. I constantly ramble about my past ambition, how I ‘used to’ be so smart and now see a bleak future in front of me.
The pain of gradually losing home but also simultaneously having it swept out from under my feet plagues me. The tears I’ve shed, or the times I’ve paced in my room, clung on to or isolated myself from friends has slowly begun to define my life. I haven’t updated my long distance best friend like I used to, in fact, we haven’t spoken in weeks - because it’s all too much, where do I begin? At the same time, I feel grateful for having this sinking feeling of being at “rock bottom” (Granted, everytime I declare that, it somehow gets worse) I feel I need adversity to get myself out of the state of gray monotony I’ve lived in, to grow and to really get back on my feet again, find who I really am, find new places and people and rituals to call home now that’s it’s nearly gone.
If given the opportunity, I would love to study abroad. To leave. It’s all I’ve worked for. Maybe time away from this place will let me find home again.
#no tags i'm sad#words#kind of a vent#diary entry#loss#home#raw thoughts#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#personal vent#writing my heart out
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Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation
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