whenlightningfalls

[whenlightningfalls]

I just want to cuddle up under a blanket with you and and spend all night showing you my favorite movies.

[whenlightningfalls]

it’s high time i realize that i am not a victim and that i will not portray myself that way.

[whenlightningfalls]

a letter to my first ex-boyfriend

i’m finally ready to be done with you.

i am finally fucking ready to leave you behind after a year of carrying you around in the bottom of my stomach like a red, heart-shaped weight. you already tore through me and i’m ready to reach into my body and rip you out because you are no longer benign and i’m already covered in blood.

and why in the fuck did i waste so much time on you?

every time we got together we were wasted. drunk on your shitty beer watching movies that i love. mixed signals coming in from every goddamn angle. you told me you were happy with non-exclusivity. but then you bought me my favorite books. and you talked to me until 4 in the morning. you said we were friends, too. you visited me when i was sick. you told me you missed me when i was gone.

so, eventually, it became clear to me that it was all fucking fake. because in those two thousand one hundred and ninety hours that i wasted, falling in love with you, i offered all of me, everyfuckingthing that i am, and you said no.

i wasted so much time thinking you would eventually say yes. thinking that i was enough for somebody. the aftermath confirming that i was right to be scared. that i am not worthy of love or affection or respect. that the only people i will ever love are like the ones who did (and didn’t) raise me: unavailable or unconcerned or unkind or dismissive.

so, now, a year later, as i leave you where you were meant to be, you might be happy to know that i won’t have any time to spend hating you. but i do have enough time to hate the fact that i spent any time on you at all.

[whenlightningfalls]

10 Magical Paths Begging To Be Walked  

Roads and paths pervade our literature, poetry, artwork, linguistic expressions and music. Even photographers can’t keep their eyes (and lenses) off of a beautiful road or path, which is why we collected this list of 28 amazing photos of paths. Source: boredpanda

Autumn In The White Carpathians

Rhododendron Laden Path, Mount Rogers, Virginia, USA

Spring In Hallerbos Forest, Belgium

Autumn Path In Kyoto, Japan

Autumn Path

Bamboo Path In Kyoto, Japan

Hitachi Seaside Park Path In Japan

Dark Hedges In Ireland

Winter Forest Path, Czech Republic

Path Under Blooming Trees In Spring

[whenlightningfalls]

v

wow

she’s horrible

i’ve seen a girl who looks like her

but way prettier

she must be the ugly twin

she’s disgusting

a conversation in which i am the ‘she’

[whenlightningfalls]

iv

actually

you had the one up here

calm down

you said

you dropped me

you what

what

that’s why i took this side

what are you doing

don’t lie to me

yeah

no

[whenlightningfalls]

iii

i’m feeling frozen yogurt

she plays trumpet in marching band

we watched 2 episodes of new girl

we ended up in the poling lounge playing cards

we were just talking about random stuff

we were talking about deep stuff

like randomly deep stuff

until 6:30 in the morning

i need to go home

it’s just pouring down rain

[whenlightningfalls]

ii

so i was coasting on that wave

where i was supposed to be

and i wasn’t out of my body

just above it

and all of a sudden

i was on a towel

under a bridge

[whenlightningfalls]

i

she was a complete kiss ass to every teacher

the girl who got salutatorian had more APs and had better grades

so it doesn’t make sense

unless it was about her kissing everyone’s asses

and i had to listen to her talk

she’s just so annoying

she’s nothing i ever want to be

i don’t even know what she’s doing