we-were-meant-to-be-one

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

One Final Time

JDronica post-canon - brief mention of sex, angst, hurt/no comfort.

It had been a handful of months since JD’s stunt. Veronica had convinced herself she was over it. She wasn’t. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was miles from it. She thought about him whenever she saw something bright blue. She thought about him whenever she saw a cigarette. When she saw a gun. A motorcycle speeding down the road. Corn Nuts. She thought about him every time she passed Heather’s house on her way to and from school. She thought about him every time she went to the woods behind Westerburg High. She thought about his smell, his funny smile, his laugh, his stupid coat. She also thought about what a dickhead he was. He killed 3 people. Correction: they killed 3 people. But he was a part of it. He was the mastermind. He gave her ich luge bullets. If only she had taken German. He must’ve thought he was a genius, sneaking something like that in. She had only figured out the meaning after his death. She wished she had found out before Ram and Kurt were dead.

She had snuck into his room the night after his suicide. She took in his hamster. She didn’t know its name, so she went with Snappy. Jason had talked about him, but never mentioned a name. She had to take Snappy, since God knows Bud wouldn’t take care of the poor thing. Veronica couldn’t collect herself enough to rummage through his room, though. Snappy was all she had the capacity to find.

Her thoughts of Jason had been subsiding, though. Of course, she’d probably never forget him, but she wasn’t thinking of him every day like she used to. She considered it an improvement. The days ticked by, until she reached February 13th. The day before Valentine’s.

Jason was never the romantic type. He bought her slushes from time to time, but that was about it. They never went on traditional dates. He said he loved Veronica in cryptic ways. His favorite was to tell her that their love was God. Whatever the fuck that meant. Jason was more of a physical boy. He always wanted to touch her. He was always trying to have a quickie with her between classes in the janitor’s closet. Their first time together, in her backyard, was the only time she’d truly felt loved during sex. Her 8th grade boyfriend and her one boyfriend after that had very little regard for her comfort. Jason was rough, without a doubt, but he tried to keep her comfortable. Thinking of sex with him made her shiver, both in a good and bad way. She remembered when their relationship was spiraling and everything was coming to a close. He had kissed her involuntarily twice. Once when she broke up with him and again in the boiler room. She didn’t like to think about it. She broke away both times, but was conflicted. Of course, she was disgusted, but she still liked those kisses a little. One last indicator that he was hers and she was his. Even if it was against her will.

It hurt her heart to know they’d never celebrate a Valentine’s together. Even if he wasn’t romantic, Veronica was sure he’d get her a flower or chocolates. Snappy Snack Shack typically sold those shitty chocolates in heart-shaped boxes. Maybe he would have gotten her one of those.

Here she was, sitting on her couch. February 13th. The day before Valentine’s. A day she’d never spend with Jason Dean. She had no plans. She didn’t have a date or a party to go to. Veronica rose from the couch, going upstairs to her room. She sat on her bed and grabbed her diary from its hiding spot between her mattress and headboard. Thumbing through the pages, she landed on the one she was looking for. The first day after spring break. She wanted to see what she had written there.

As she read through, her eyes welled with tears. Past Veronica had mentioned this “dark horse”, how handsome and funny he was. How he had pulled that thing with Ram and Kurt. How he seemed like he didn’t give a fuck. How he was a “cool guy”. If only Past Veronica knew what she did. He was funny and handsome, but he was a monster. How he would go on to kill 3 people with her. How he would try to kill hundreds more in one big explosion. A tear dropped onto the page. Veronica shut the book and put it back in its spot. She wanted to see his room for the last time. She wanted to feel a little bit of him before Valentine’s.

She left her house, telling her parents she wanted to grab something at Snappy’s. She walked down the block, past Heather’s house. Past Snappy’s. Past Westerburg High.

Eventually she stopped. She stood in front of the tree next to his window. Making her way up the tree, she hoped the window was unlocked. She reached the top and pulled the window up. She transferred herself onto the window sill and gazed into his room. His room was silent and cold. It was in the state it had been the last time she entered. Except some of the drawers were opened and there were papers scattered everywhere. Bud. He must’ve been rummaging through Jason’s drawers. For what, Veronica didn’t know. She assumed he wanted booze money. She hoped he got it. She wanted him to drink himself to death.

She inhaled and prepared herself. Gingerly setting one foot on the floor below her, she followed with the other. She was standing in his room. She made her way deeper. She didn’t know what she was doing there, really. She just knew she needed to be there. She walked towards the bed and sat down. The mattress sunk under her and made a quiet squeak. His bedspread and pillows were nicely arranged. Veronica looked down at her lap. Her hands were trembling. She knew she could cry at any moment. Looking to her right, she saw a paper on his nightstand. It was in what she presumed to be his handwriting. It fluttered in her hands when she picked it up. The first three words took her by surprise.

“To my love”

This paper was… for her. Her hands shook more. She had to read it, even if it killed her inside.

“First, I think you’re alive. That noose was way too loose. I could tell. I didn’t have the heart to tell you I knew. Moving on, this is my suicide note, I guess. I’m sure I’ll never give it to you, especially if everything goes according to plan. We’re going to die together, along with every student and teacher at Westerburg High. The school will be ash, along with us. Poetic.”

Anger welled up in Veronica’s heart, quickly replaced by sadness. Her hands were gripping the paper so tight it was wrinkling. She loosened her grip. Glancing to the next paragraph, she noted that the handwriting was visibly shakier.

“V, you’re the love of my life. I know it doesn’t seem like it. I know I’ve done shitty things. I know I’m about to do something even shittier. I know I can’t control myself. I know I’m a bad person. But I also know that this is the only way I cope. Veronica, I accept that you won’t understand. That’s okay. I love you. If there’s a heaven, I hope you go to it. I know I won’t. I hope you and every other student have a wonderful time up there. Maybe they’ll host a dance. A prom, even. A prom in heaven. Veronica, I’m not sorry for what I’m doing. I never will be. I’m aware it’s wrong, but it’s what I must do.

Seeing you in the cafeteria on my first day opened my eyes. I saw a beautiful girl trapped by her status. You needed my help. You needed to see what I saw. I needed you to see what I saw. You’re beautiful, darling. I love you. I hope you miss me. I wish I could kiss you one last time.

By the way, my real answer to that stupid question you asked me for Heather’s lunchtime poll is this: I’d spend it with you, doing whatever you’d like. We could spend our last day at Snappy, if that’s what you wanted.

Our love is God,

Jason Dean”

Next to his name was a poorly drawn heart. The tears began to fall. Veronica tossed the paper aside, not wanting to soak it. She stared at her hands. Tears dripped onto them. She let out quiet sobs. She had to hold back in case Bud was home. JD loved her, in his own fucked up way, to the end. And she still loved him. He was a deplorable piece of shit, but he was hers. And she was his. She’d never see him again. Veronica bent down and grabbed the paper, folding it gently. A few tears fell onto it and the ink smudged a little. She put it into the pocket of her blazer. She tried to stand up, but collapsed back onto the bed. Fuck it. She began sobbing louder than she ever had. She curled into a ball, grabbing his pillow. Holding it against her face, she smelled his shampoo. She’d never hold him again.

He was gone.

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

GUESS WHO IS BACK FOR THE FINAL TIME.

I love all my mutuals and everyone who followed me, thank you for defining a great part of my life and making Heathers such a fun fandom to be in. This is my second to last post. I will be publishing a fic I never posted as my final post. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed all the things you guys have made. Should post it soon. Love you guys. <333

edit: scheduled for 6:40 PST

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

Man, one day I’ll make my grand return to this app. Currently I’m cycling thru a ton of fandoms and trying to figure out how to sort this blog. Planning on making a fanfic/dark content blog since I do enjoy writing/reading very dark fics and I don’t think followers of this blog came here for that, I think y’all are here for goofy shitposts

Sorry for dipping on you guys, along with fandom-hopping and planning blogs life has been hella hectic (I’m okay dw!) with school and social life and family and mental health and all that jazz

Ily all mutuals and people who enjoy my blog, I swear I haven’t forgotten about you and I get so happy whenever I come on here once in a blue moon and see your creations and content. I appreciate the stuff you guys make, even if I may not interact as much. Love you <3

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

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Here’s your daily reminder that jd played the saxophone

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s is for slug

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I’m convinced Wes told Matthew Lillard to just give in to his intrusive thoughts for the role of Stu Macher

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Here's the full drawing! It's a scream baby!!

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ATTENTION ALL OF TUMBLR!

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE.

IN 2014, IN SCHAUMBURG , ILLINOIS, USA

THERE

WILL

BE

A

TUMBLR CONVENTION!!!

THESE ARE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT ARE MAKING IT HAPPEN

SIGNAL BOOST THIS GUYS

I WANNA SEE EVERYONE THERE!!

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

Hi! This is a rickroll. Please visit youtube dot com, type "never gonna give you up" in the search bar, then click on the first video that comes up. Thank you for your consideration.

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

it’s april fools day!

also I love item label

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hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

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Can’t believe it’s the one day of the year my physical form is visible.

Relish it, fellow trans people. Soon we vanish, again.

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Bad at tumblr so idk for sure but I think OP blocked me lmfao

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

[we-were-meant-to-be-one]

A shirt Stu definitely bought Billy for Christmas

PISSING MYSELF BAHAHA HR WOULD THATS AWFUK

Heres a button up stu owns but is banned from ever wearing