we-all-love-to-lie

[we-all-love-to-lie]

Untitled Reality #001 by @we-all-love-to-lie

TW self harm

every decision made comes with a consequence,

some are good, some bad,

some temporary, some permanent,

those emotions you felt at 15,

and the actions you took to cope,

plaster teenage thoughts on your adult body,

pain as a temporary solution,

while you thought it was worth it at the time,

you thought you wouldn’t live long enough for it to matter,

and while there’s beauty in scars,

guilt, shame, and regret are in yours,

15 year old you just needed a friend,

but has made your suffering, though it’s over, not have a visible end,

this is high key an awful poem but i needed to write out these thoughts :)

[we-all-love-to-lie]

Promises by @we-all-love-to-lie

there’s one thing in this world i’ll vow to never do

never break a promise

i’ll go out if my way and make myself miserable before i cancel anything

and all my friends know this

not a single keeper of my secrets can honestly say i’ve broken a promise to them

but they can’t say the same about me

promise to accept their broken promises

promise i’m okay with it

i promise you didn’t do anything wrong

even if eyeliner runs down my face

it’s never you

it’s always me

my emotions aren’t your fault

though yours are mine unless you’re fine

then i don’t exist at all

and you mean to tell me you’ll never break another promise

when i’ll forgo sleep to make sure my half is fulfilled

when i’ll let go of things i love so i don’t fail you

while you fail me every day

[we-all-love-to-lie]

Children Are a Privilege. They Can’t Be Everyone’s Destiny by @we-all-love-to-lie

TW: child abuse, medical neglect, child neglect, stuff of that sort

you believe your thoughts about me but not what’s right in front of your eyes

you were in the room for my diagnosis and still think that’s just another one of my lies

conveniently forget anything imperfect you’ve said

while putting words into my mouth because being your bastard daughter isn’t enough

and it’s my fault i need my medication to feel alive

but you can live without meds for our shit genetics so i don’t really have a problem

i have more empty pill bottles in my room than moments i can say i truly felt love from you

why did being born justify my abuse when it was your sin?

punishment for being born but no prison for the defendants

your accidental conception doesn’t justify parasitic treatment of the child

sorry this isn’t a normal piece of writing from me, this is basically a vent

[we-all-love-to-lie]

Dollar Tree Blades on Reddit by @we-all-love-to-lie

TW self harm, size and depth shaming, mention of sh tools

“do you have a sharpener?” i asked my mom

“no. get your own. i don’t need you ruining mine”

my sister says the same thing

so i walk to the dollar tree and buy a pack

“that should last”

but then they get dull so you go back

laced with rust and everything else i refuse to clean

telling the cashier i’m an artist and always lose things

and after a while of that i ask the internet

where they’re getting their sharpeners

because their art is better than mine

they’ve all matured past sharpeners

they’re all cool and advanced with their razors

but all mine do is tear up my fingers

so i ask again

because clearly i’m doing something wrong

“no use [redacted] they’re way more strong”

now my art is ‘cool’ and ‘deep’

it means something to people that aren’t me

but being cool doesn’t last forever

because there’s always someone better

whether in quantity or size

in years or in their therapists eyes

they’re better than everyone at destroying themselves

but they feel the same way about their health

no matter what someone will be “better” than you

no matter what you’re valid, i love you <3

[we-all-love-to-lie]

My Heart is a Goldmine and It’s 1848 by @we-all-love-to-lie

somehow there’s no trigger warnings 😭

your story may be long but i have spare time,

if you ever need somebody; you can be mine,

i’ll spend every ounce of energy i have,

just to make sure you’re happy,

and once you get used to it,

you won’t even thank me,

sixteen years learning to never get attached,

because everybody leaves the second i drop my hat,

oh but you can’t blame them; they found someone better,

maybe if i was just a bit more clever,

i’d be able to seek out people who like me,

for who i am is what i can do for others,

but it’s not worth what they’ll never notice,

and i have to understand i live at everybody’s service,

even though i’m always doing the understanding for others,

the only thing i really long for is to be understood

[we-all-love-to-lie]

If Young Bodies Heal Quickly, Why Am I Broken Beyond Repair? by @we-all-love-to-lie

TW - self harm, self destruction

Since you told us young bodies heal quickly I’ve had hope for the future.

Every thought and action I’ve made has been laced with “it’ll fix itself”.

Nothing was permanent until it stopped going away.

That persons remark about how I don’t deserve love rings through my head every time I feel acknowledged.

I thought I could cut because it would all disappear but the minute I realized you had lied to me I tried to sort my despair into neat; manageable; piles (/ref) because now I had to be careful.

Oh man Goddamn these hands(/ref) of mine for doing that to myself for I know it’s my fault but the weight of the realization that you were full of shit was enough to flatten me to an atomic level.

Why would you tell us young bodies heal quickly unless you wanted us to hurt ourselves?

Was it to heal your own hurting?

Of course it was.

You wanted us to break ourselves beyond repair so you could seem okay in contrast to us.

You built a world of broken teens for you so that when you healed you could be our God.

Well, fuck you, John.

Fuck you and all the bullshit that comes out of your disgusting mouth.

I hope you never get better, so you can suffer for what you’ve done to us.

[we-all-love-to-lie]

Saviour Complexities by @we-all-love-to-lie

mild sh trigger warning

you only exist for your ability to help others,

they can go to you if they’re struggling with anything,

you’ll be there. mental health? school? work? relationships? you’re there,

but is anyone ever there for you?

is anyone drying your tears?

explaining that problem?

cleaning your blood?

yes. but only when they want to feel like a saviour,

only when it benefits them,

so you’ll always be alone,

or left wondering if somebodies kindness is real

but they probably just want to feel good about themself

and is that what they think of you ?

[we-all-love-to-lie]

There are People in This World Who Don’t Know What it Feels Like to Suffocate (Am I One of Them?) by @we-all-love-to-lie

TW - suicide, overdoses, hanging, self harm

Is it truly possible to heal? Like after hundreds of bullets are fired at you, can you heal from that?

I believe you can, but, you’ll never be the same as you were before.

Your knot wasn’t tight enough, the noose fell from your dresser, rope burn on your neck stinging like nothing else you’ve ever felt before.

You really thought it was the end there, didn’t you?

How are you supposed to just move on after that failure?

You know, there are people in this world who don’t know what it feels like to suffocate. That you’ll never be.

I’ve overdosed countless of times, I’ve slit my wrists, I’ve ran into oncoming traffic.

But I don’t know what it feels like to suffocate, so am I one of them?

Do I need to hang my self to make my suicide attempts mean something?

Can you say I don’t know your pain because I chose a different way?

Do you think I’m one of those people lucky enough to not be depressed because I didn’t suffocate?

And when I do, it still won’t be valid because you’d find a new method, one that works.

I’ll never be as valid as you, so yeah, I’m ‘one of them’ but I understand.

[we-all-love-to-lie]

intro

hey this is an account i use just to have a space to post my writing

a lot of what i write is a distraction from negative thoughts i have, so it could be triggering at times. everything that needs a tw will have one.

about me- i'm 16, omnisexual, and i use any pronouns, i sometimes will experiment with languages in my writing because i think its fun

a lot of what i write is based off The Paper Chase and the Nighty Nights so if things look familiar its probably based of them or some other artist