wastelandsthings-blog

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Okay, so I’ve been sitting in front of my laptop for an hour I guess, thinking about how do I start writing about the person who is partially close to me. So, the best thing for me to do is just write whatever comes to my mind. I know its not gonna be the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever read but but i’ll try not to over exaggerate things and make you think that, this guy is stupid as hell.

Right! So it all start back when I was done with my high school and finally preparing to go to college and I was just like other guys who wanted to make a name for themselves or in other words be one of those popular kids. And secondly I was in need of a girlfriend, like I was desperate to be honest... It almost kills me to this day that I’am still single. But I don’t know why I actually wanted a girlfriend. There are certain things in life which you wanted but not sure why do you want it. 

The first few weeks of college, it was not terrible but it was not something I expected, still I didn’t really thought about you or notice you at least within the first few weeks. And then there was that day when you started making me believe on myself that something could happen, I’am not completely hopeless. You told me certain things which no other girl has ever said and what I did is I took it as a joke at first glance just because I made up my mind that I don’t have a fucking chance with her, well I guess I was right. 

Seemingly things started to take different turns in my mind, as I started to take everything seriously even though you don’t mean any of it what you say. And I just found myself liking you probably a little bit but I cannot stop thinking about you and that made me like you more and certainly that made me think that, ‘no dude you gotta chance’. And that thinking quickly became expectation and expectation became over expectation. I really wanted to tell how much I like you but I was afraid I will ruin everything between us as friends just to establish a new relation with you.

Then there was a phase in my life where I was suffering with a lot of anxiety, stress, depression. It was not a pleasant time for me and I needed support so I thought that it might be good time to ask you. And I did, and it wasn’t something I thought.. I thought it would go smooth but rather it went horrible just because I over expected and it went crashing down. I realize that I fucked up and I gotta do something just to calm this situation down so what I did is I told you it was a joke. Not the best escape plan ever but it worked some how. But that liking feeling in me just became the feeling of hatred towards you. I realize it was not your fault because you after all got a choice to make and you made one.

I was upset and started questioning what was those “certain things” that you told me before more than once and Imma be honest with you I missed pronounce your name several times... if anyone talks about you I just call you bitch which was not a nice thing to say to any girl but I was in an anger and mostly disappointed but deep down I knew that I’am not doing a right thing and shes not wrong for actions and for the majority of time I spent hating, there was a peace of me who still liked you. Then I get to know that your previous relation was not something that you expected,donno if it was good or bad but it was not something what you expected. And then I just realize that I wasted my time hating on you because I remember the day I ask you out (sort of) you told me you hate love and relation and I refuse to understand that.. well thats my bad.

Everything was back to normal between you and me and I was glad that happened because I just literally acted as a dick hating you. But I still use to think about you, you were still in my mind some how and I still liked you for some reason unknown to me. I know you don’t care that much but now its ok to me.. for a fact that you will read this.. probably hate on me or gonna appreciate it may be.. I don’t know.. but whatever the reaction will be I’ll be fine with that. ‘cause I know now your not the bad person I thought you were... no matter what people say about you my perception for you will not change.. no matter if you like me or hate me I won’t go back and forth with you.. And one more thing your the only for whom I like to change otherwise its always #BeYourself

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Finding a reason to STAY.

From day one we've been told that time after time things are gonna go not as expected.. you can often face bad times sometimes you won't face that often.. but during your bad times never forget the word 'hope'. This word is enough to give you a reason to live just one more day before ending it at all.

Everyday when I go to bed, keep staring at the ceiling thinkin' about all those negative things which are not assure to happen and forgetting all those positive thoughts that gives me strength to live my life. And the worst thing of'em all is thinking about the stuff which which I can be and will set me apart from everyone but I am too lazy to actually work for it or dreaming about things that I can never be but it still fun to dream about those.

I've a lot of reasons to not to see another day or to end myself 'cause my life ain't going that well... I am at a point where I am so confused about what s right and wrong for me, who is with me and against me, who loves me and hates me but whenever I think about these things I learn... I learn about life. I am also suffering from a fucking decease which I've no idea about, I don't have any fucking 'cause it matters if you are fucking grown enough to know that, and finally my friends.. don't if they'll be true to me but still I learn to move on. I understand that life has unsettling nature, it'll hit in an unexpecting situations but if you didn't stood up after you've been knocked out it'll keep you down until you counted out and lost.. but if you stood up you still have hope that you'll win some day if it's not today. Surely your life can't go as you'd expect it to, it won't be something miraculously good but with a little bit of hope, a little bit of hard work and dedication of what you wanna do not what your told to and finally stop thinking about the society 'cause they may give you advices which are right according to them and may wrong according to you. These things can make your life just fine as you think of.

Now as you see I've a lot of reasons to quit but I don't care I got one reason to stay and it is to live better day sooner or later 'cause I know it's gonna happen and I've patience for it. I might be living the worst time of my life.. but that's just what it is... It is time and it passes down.. this is just temporary.. what's permanent is my life. I know I'll live a life I dreamed of someday.. I'll be happier person and that happiness isn't going away any time sooner 'cause unlike sadness it may last a little longer just enough for understand the 'cause of my sadness. And we talk about haters.. they can shove it. I am not gonna become everything that my haters expect me to become instead I am gonna become that one thing that they didn't even thought of.

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Having a true friend, who understands you, trusts you, cares for you and feel for you is a blessing. It is truly special, but I cannot treat them any special, but I can give them the same understanding, trust, care and feeling back... And a special place in my heart.

[wastelandsthings-blog]

I might be living on the best days of my life, because I've someone like you whom I can trust and call my best friend, it does makes me feel alive.

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Getting hated by other is worst then not getting love...

[wastelandsthings-blog]

I don't use believe in miracles... But now I do... After I met you my best friend...

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Dreams.. and mistakes

Sometimes life is harsh on you. It may not give the result you expected. It may not give the life you ever dreamed of. But the most amazing thing it gives.... is chances. It gives you chances to be better than yourself. It gives you chances to recover for every mistakes you make. And finally it gives you chances to show the world that you are a bigger deal than they think.

Let's talk about mistakes... Making mistakes is alright but regretting them is not. Mistake means that you have done something wrong "unintentionally". Then, why do you regret it? Be okay with it and just move on and hopefully not making the same mistakes would be great. That's the best thing you can do. Try to do things you always dreamed of. Mistakes will happen but this time you won't regret it 'cause it won't let you down, it'll help you in moving forward.

Everyday when I go to bed there are lot of things going on my mind. But the most important thing I always think of is "hopefully tommorow will be better than my today" and when I wake up the first thing I think of is "hopefully today isn't as bad as yesterday". People say life is unpredictable, totally agreeing with that but it is also uncertain. You never know what's gonna happen next. When I go to bed I think of will I be able to see tommorow? And I say "absolutely". Just because you don't need anything more than a reason to be alive. And the word "hope" is enough to give you a reason to live.

Well! About me, I'm optimistic. I know that I shouldn't give up that easy if my present is not in a good condition. But I also know that as time progresses I'll finally be the person I was supposed to be.

After you faced your harsh reality you'll definitely face the fantasy world you've ever thought and dreamed about....

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Lost in the woods..

When I was young I always wanted to be like someone or I always pretend to be like someone. I kinda lost my identity and I believe it’s none of my own fault. ‘Cause I’ve been told from the starting that what others think about you matters the most. We do certain things just to get praise and appreciated by others but we often forget they are just words and nothing more. Well… If I consider myself, my most of the time went on thinking about what others think about me.

Throughout my teenage life I developed a persona of being as clown to my friends and sometime even to my family members . People laugh at you, they sometime insult you. Yep it hurts but the best thing about this was that people gives you attention. For me it was all about getting girls. I mean… I am fucking 19 year old boy still single. This was the worst feeling that I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. During my early stages of high school, it didn’t bothered me that much and as soon as I progress and came to the end of my high school it started bothering me like hell..

I mean to be honest I had my first crush back in 5th grade. But… I was still a kid and I was afraid of even talking to her. And I was happy by just looking at her and I wasn’t the only one single… But as soon as I grew up I found myself in a position of lonelyness. No one would come along with me and it was none of there fault as I was fat, I might smell bad and I I was all hairy and I was alright with it as I was looking for a perfect girl, then a girl has the right to be with a perfect man. Others might be with someone just for time pass or show off but.. I genuinely needed support..

Because of this I changed my persona from bieng a dumbass to pretending to be like a dumbass to make a laugh on me and this was just to get attention. But I regret doing this just because it developed me into an anxious person… It developed a mental illness called anxiety…..

Well life is too big to be written in one go. Even though I am 19 theres a lot of things I’ve not mention or confessed. That’s a story for another day…….

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Lost in the woods..

When I was young I always wanted to be like someone or I always pretend to be like someone. I kinda lost my identity and I believe it's none of my own fault. 'Cause I've been told from the starting that what others think about you matters the most. We do certain things just to get praise and appreciated by others but we often forget they are just words and nothing more. Well... If I consider myself, my most of the time went on thinking about what others think about me.

Throughout my teenage life I developed a persona of being as clown to my friends and sometime even to my family members . People laugh at you, they sometime insult you. Yep it hurts but the best thing about this was that people gives you attention. For me it was all about getting girls. I mean... I am fucking 19 year old boy still single. This was the worst feeling that I've ever experienced in my entire life. During my early stages of high school, it didn't bothered me that much and as soon as I progress and came to the end of my high school it started bothering me like hell..

I mean to be honest I had my first crush back in 5th grade. But... I was still a kid and I was afraid of even talking to her. And I was happy by just looking at her and I wasn't the only one single... But as soon as I grew up I found myself in a position of lonelyness. No one would come along with me and it was none of there fault as I was fat, I might smell bad and I I was all hairy and I was alright with it as I was looking for a perfect girl, then a girl has the right to be with a perfect man. Others might be with someone just for time pass or show off but.. I genuinely needed support..

Because of this I changed my persona from bieng a dumbass to pretending to be like a dumbass to make a laugh on me and this was just to get attention. But I regret doing this just because it developed me into an anxious person... It developed a mental illness called anxiety.....

Well life is too big to be written in one go. Even though I am 19 theres a lot of things I've not mention or confessed. That's a story for another day.......

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Life doesn’t give you bumps… It gives you chances to recover from them.

(via mistakesiregret)

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Life doesn't give you bumps... It gives you chances to recover from them.

[wastelandsthings-blog]

Sadness is as addictive as alcohol and Drugs. As we always find a reason to be upset....

[wastelandsthings-blog]

We stop believing in ourself just because people stop believing in us.

Myself