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Trick or treat! (Drew this for Halloween hehe)

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had a dream last night where I took a uquiz called “what do you serve?” and at first the questions were standard but as the quiz progressed they became more and more highly specific to me personally and the answers became more and more similar and I realised the quiz Knew me and was forcing me into being honest by giving me no other option so I tried to click out but it just went to the next question which was “are you the spider? or are you the web?” and it had an option for each but I didn’t click either so it then turned to a text box and I typed “I think I’m the fly” and the quiz paused for a while and then took me to a results page that said “you serve truth” and the description just read “what you know will kill you but you will die laughing” so like. good morning everyone I guess :/

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I really do think the fandom underestimate Xie Lian's own values and kindness while kinda overestimating the kindness the guy who gave him the Bamboo hat in the scene in the rain.

Don't get me wrong, the Bamboo hat is important and the fact that someone went to help him is also important. But it's just the excuse. Xie Lian decided by himself to lie in the rain and gave humanity another chance first. He was trying to convince himself that he didn't believe in the kindness of people anymore while still giving them another chance. He was probably going to lie in the rain until someone, anyone gave him that kindness anyway.

The Bamboo hat is the excuse as to why Xie Lian didn't turn into Jun Wu, but the actual reason is that Xie Lian had the strength to stand in the rain and wait for someone to show him he was right. A thing Jun Wu never did.

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“For some time, Hollywood has marketed family entertainment according to a two-pronged strategy, with cute stuff and kinetic motion for the kids and sly pop-cultural references and tame double entendres for mom and dad. Miyazaki has no interest in such trickery, or in the alternative method, most successfully deployed in Pixar features like Finding Nemo, Toy Story 3 and Inside/Out, of blending silliness with sentimentality.”

“Most films made for children are flashy adventure-comedies. Structurally and tonally, they feel almost exactly like blockbusters made for adults, scrubbed of any potentially offensive material. They aren’t so much made for children as they’re made to be not not for children. It’s perhaps telling that the genre is generally called “Family,” rather than “Children’s.” The films are designed to be pleasing to a broad, age-diverse audience, but they’re not necessarily specially made for young minds.”

“My Neighbor Totoro, on the other hand, is a genuine children’s film, attuned to child psychology. Satsuki and Mei move and speak like children: they run and romp, giggle and yell. The sibling dynamic is sensitively rendered: Satsuki is eager to impress her parents but sometimes succumbs to silliness, while Mei is Satsuki’s shadow and echo (with an independent streak). But perhaps most uniquely, My Neighbor Totoro follows children’s goals and concerns. Its protagonists aren’t given a mission or a call to adventure - in the absence of a larger drama, they create their own, as children in stable environments do. They play.”

“Consider the sequence just before Mei first encounters Totoro. Satsuki has left for school, and Dad is working from home, so Mei dons a hat and a shoulder bag and tells her father that she’s “off to run some errands” - The film is hers for the next ten minutes, with very little dialogue. She’s seized by ideas, and then abandons them; her goals switch from moment to moment. First she wants to play “flower shop” with her dad, but then she becomes distracted by a pool full of tadpoles. Then, of course, she needs a bucket to catch tadpoles in - but the bucket has a hole in it. And on it goes, but we’re never bored, because Mei is never bored.”

“[…] You can only ride a ride so many times before the thrill wears off. But a child can never exhaust the possibilities of a park or a neighborhood or a forest, and Totoro exists in this mode. The film is made up of travel and transit and exploration, set against lush, evocative landscapes that seem to extend far beyond the frame. We enter the film driving along a dirt road past houses and rice paddies; we follow Mei as she clambers through a thicket and into the forest; we walk home from school with the girls, ducking into a shrine to take shelter from the rain; we run past endless green fields with Satsuki as she searches for Mei. The psychic center of Totoro’s world is an impossibly giant camphor tree covered in moss. The girls climb over it, bow to it as a forest-guardian, and at one point fly high above it, with the help of Totoro. Much like Totoro himself, the tree is enormous and initially intimidating, but ultimately a source of shelter and inspiration.”

“My Neighbor Totoro has a story, but it’s the kind of story that a child might make up, or that a parent might tell as a bedtime story, prodded along by the refrain, “And then what happened?” This kind of whimsicality is actually baked into Miyazaki’s process: he begins animating his films before they’re fully written. Totoro has chase scenes and fantastical creatures, but these are flights of fancy rooted in a familiar world. A big part of being a kid is watching and waiting, and Miyazaki understands this. When Mei catches a glimpse of a small Totoro running under her house, she crouches down and stares into the gap, waiting. Miyazaki holds on this image: we wait with her. Magical things happen, but most of life happens in between those things—and there is a kind of gentle magic, for a child, in seeing those in-betweens brought to life truthfully on screen.”

A.O. Scott and Lauren Wilford on “My Neighbor Totoro”, 2017.  

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yoohankim connected by a red string of fate, but the red string is something han sooyoung wove herself, and the red string is the lifeline keeping kim dokja from drowning, and the red string is the outline of a person that yoo joonghyuk filled in. do you understand.

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At this point half the reason I still put up with TiKTok is the insane bakers and cooks. I mean LOOK AT THIS.

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thinking about the differences between kim dokja's and yoo joonghyuk's suicidality. kim dokja's suicidality is one specifically designed to be familiar to the reader - he's miserable, he's in pain, he feels as though he's got no one to rely on and no prospects and really the world would be better off without him at all. it's a painfully common story, isn't it. yoo joonghyuk's suicidality by contrast is largely incredibly fantastical. suicide is basically his super power, and he never does it because he wants to die, it's always because he simply believes it'll put him in a better position than he currently is in. his regressions are definitely a type of death, both literally and figuratively - its a life he's given up on - but its never a true end. it's why i think so many modern aus will keep kim dokja's canon suicidal ideation to some extent but often drop yoo joonghyuk's completely. why would yoo joonghyuk kill himself if he wasn't regressing, after all?

but there are instances where yoo joonghyuk does express a more realistic suicidal ideation. first, in the 1863rd round, where he's sick of living and simply wants it to be over. second, in the pseudo-epilogue, where he believes that there's no longer a point to his existence and thus wants it to end. both are driven by the same thing, ultimately, i think - he's lost sight of his purpose. yoo joonghyuk isn't the type to continue living simply for the small pleasures in life - he would never have been able to cling to the updates of a favourite webnovel, for example, because he's simply not built to consider that enough. this contrasts with kim dokja, for whom small pleasures (or this one small pleasure, to be specific) is all he's got.

i don't really have a point here. just thinking about how on the surface kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk are both willing to die very easily, with their suicides often paralleling or influencing the other, but that suicidality ultimately comes from opposite ends of a spectrum. clinging to a small comfort vs seeking out a grand purpose. a lack of care for yourself vs the idea that you alone matter - you alone must save the world. etc etc.

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Cosas de chinos

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Moooola!

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You will not guess where this is going