visuumii

[visuumii]

[visuumii]

Making a giant monster in minecraft. Monster Progess 1

[visuumii]

Untitled

+You're doing nothing. -Oh, you're still alive. How long has it been? A month? +Ten pence change. -… +… +You're still doing nothing. -Yes, I've just realized I'm doing nothing just now. +… +Why? -Because doing something requires choosing what to do. +Then choose. -It's not that easy. Nothing is easy. +Then here are some choices. I know you think about them. Music, writing, traditional art, cooking, home improvement, exercize. Lots of art to make, lots of skills to acquire. -Those are just quick fantasies. They allow me to imagine I'm doing something because it's thrilling or interesting or comforting. +Quick fantasies don't recur this often, and aren't so felt. -Okay then, there's truth to it. But I don't have to. +That's true, you could just stare at a wall for the next sixty years. -That's right. +… -… +This is painful. -How? It's steady and that's fine by me. More of the present. This is a lovely shade of blue. +I don't mean you're not happy I mean you're not fulfilled. The pain is an atrophy. You're lazy. -I know. Lazy is safe. It soothes the present. +But your present isn't fun. Take a risk. -Risk is danger. Danger isn't safe. Nothing is safe. +Nothing is safe? -…

+Back to the wall? +Isn't it boring? -I'm not bored there's plenty to do doing nothing. Watching numbers go up or down, clicking on things, smiling at photons, hearing the noise. It's peaceful to be here because I know it won't collapse quickly like the drive to do something will. +Of course it isn't peaceful- you think you're doing nothing when you do think, and that just doesn't feel good. Cheap thrills and the like. God! The effort it requires to be lazy! +I'm taking the reins. I'm writing this down. -Chill out now. I mean that not thinking requires little effort. +But you aren't not thinking. If you were actually choosing not to think you'd be somewhere peaceful. Like sitting on a park bench. You're distracting yourself from doing something. -I don't have to do something. Finding somewhere peaceful means doing something. And that takes energy. +You want to help, to entertain, or at least the simulacrum of that. And yet you don't interact because it takes your body energy? -It's a true pain. +I know. It's more than that, it-is-a constant. You can put the energy towards something. It will drain towards nothing either way. -Then I choose nothing. +… -…

+You do know nothing isn't healthy right? There's a literal atrophy going on too. -Of course, but I understand how it isn't. This wall is blue. The others are a secret. +Don't you wan't to be productive? It feels good. Better than nothing. -Productivity isn't all. I don't need to be manufacturing wood to feel alive. I can feel alive doing nothing. I've found that peace already. +That's not what I mean by productivity. I mean becoming something you enjoy on top of that peace rather than doing things to keep you enjoyed. That peace is a rare card to have. Aren't you wasting it? -I'm content. +Content but not fulfilled? That's pretty strange. -As you said earlier. +I forgot about that. -Isn't it so easy? +It's fearful. -If you say so. +… -…

+You should upload this somewhere. -Why? +Does it matter? It's text. It's far fewer clicks than however long you've spent playing balatro. -No it's something. I don't want to consider something. Nothing is better. I should be playing balatro. +Then I'll do it. -It's too personal. Aren't you just crying for help or whatever? You're fine. Be still. Hush. +As you said earlier your inner peace is settled, you're not looking for others help. Right now you need to get out of your head. I'm doing it for you. This is creative writing anyways, that's one off the list. -It doesn't need to be uploaded. That's full of yourself. +You know not to care about pretention, you know it robs the world of art. -The world doesn't need this art. It's art for no one, I'll forget about it soon. Untitled text in a folder on my computer. +Skills can be developed alone. -This isn't a skill. It's art. It can be nothing. +If art is experience then skills can be art. But a skill can't be your nothing. I'm doing something. -Where can you even post this? You don't have a website. It's too much effort. +I've got a tumblr account. That can be used. I've been meaning to post there for ages. -That's social media. You're supposed to post pictures of your Minecraft builds. It's not for weirdo socratic personal dialogues. +I don't care what it's for. I've seen people write essays there before. That's enough. -… -Aren't you just fueling algorithms, the horror of the contemporary internet? You know full well what these companies create. +One of those products is the exact distraction this is against. One you've somehow reproduced without them. I care little about algorithms, it might help someone. -Oh aren't you a wee angel then. +Calm your cheek. I meant it's food for thought. I'm not a saviour. -But you do want to 'help'? +Only interpersonally. I want this to be able to interest others. It feels good. -That's the job of professionals. People who do something. We don't need to. +They don't either. But they choose to. Where did you get the idea amateurs don't exist? For passion and money people try. -This will see no eyes you know. +So what if it does. It's something regardless. -I shouldn't keep writing this. I should do nothing instead. That's better. Posting is stressful anyways. +You've been doing something this whole time. You can see the text on screen. -I've done something. -Disgusting. -Where's the wall gone?

-Why am I so loud?

+Because I'm back.

[visuumii]

yes

yes