virlean

[virlean]

I don't think I'm someone that I recognize I no longer think I'm on my own side I feel like I am just tryna survive Survive my own mind

I think I'm just doing my best to get by Something feels off, yeah, it doesn't feel right I feel like I am just tryna survive Survive my own mind

I hate how my mind spirals in a series of depressing thoughts. I hate that I can't stop it no matter what I do. I try to distract myself but the thoughts just keep coming back in my head, calling out to me, pulling me underground. It's suffocating.

Virlean

[virlean]

Something to soothe my soul tonight before I sleep..,

Virlean

[virlean]

[virlean]

Dear Me

I know you hate conflicts. And I understand why. They make your heart race in the worst way possible. They make your stomach squirm with unease and make your hands tremble uncontrollably. You hate conflicts because they make you feel weak and incapable. They suck out the hope in your heart like a vacuum, leaving your mind and heart in shambles.

I know it's hard because we cannot escape the hurdles in our path. Conflicts are naturally part of life and growth. Without it, we wouldn't have the opportunities and experiences to learn the most important things such as patience, perseverance, emotional control, and self-esteem.

At this moment, I'd say that you should just calm down and breathe. Understand the situation. Think of ways how to solve the problem. I'd like to say it but I know it is easier said than done.

I know you're hurting right now. I know how hard you're trying not to cry and break down, so much so that it feels like your heart is going to burst any second. I know, and I understand.

It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel like you're stuck in a dead-end. It's okay. Everything's going to be fine. For now, just breathe. Don't let your mind dwell on the what if's and if only's. You can't take them all back now. It already happened. The only thing you can do now is to let yourself feel. Then you think.

Take it one step at a time. You've already been through a lot. I know you can get through this. I believe in you. You are strong. You are capable. You are the person you have always wanted to be.

Virlean

[virlean]

I'm pretty sure this is the soundtrack of my life this month. May 2023 has been filled with both suspense and great news. There were many moments that tested my patience, my confidence, and my overall outlook in life. But in the end, I'm just grateful that I learned a lot of things and that all of my hard work and perseverance have paid off. Because aside from receiving a job offer, I am also now a true licensed professional teacher! I passed my job application a few days ago, and now, I also passed my licensure exam! 🤩

I couldn't ask for more. All the wait was worth it. And now, I can proudly say that I MADE IT.

But this is definitely not the end of my journey. I'm still on the first page of the next chapter of my life, but even so, I'm excited to see what life has in store for me in the future.

Virlean

[virlean]

Dear Yesterday

For months, I've done my best to forget you. To forget the things that I did and the things that I said that only made me feel regretful whenever they come to mind. Because to me, you were only a past memory that should be left behind. I shouldn't be so caught up by you, especially when I have the present that calls for me to be brave and true. You are Yesterday, but I already have Today.

But you see, the truth is that I wouldn't have Today if I didn't have Yesterday. For that, I should thank you.

You've given me the best experience I could ever have. It taught me a lot of things, and it made me stronger by the day. I wouldn't be this happy if it weren't for you. I wouldn't be this proud if it weren't for the doors you opened to allow me to grow.

So Yesterday, keep on living within me. I'll keep all the sad, joyful, and even embarrassing moments just so I could look back on them and say truthfully that I lived my life to the fullest. Yesterday may be already in the past, but every memory I have from you will surely last a lifetime.

Virlean

[virlean]

Somebody show me a real love Cause I'm getting ready to give up I want a feeling that only a movie can make The kind where you kiss on the corner Doesn't get old when it's older I want somebody to spin me around in the rain Oh when will I find The love I've been jealous of

I had this song on repeat for almost a day!

I just can't. It's so good and it hurts a lot. It just goes straight through the heart. Why oh why? You make me want to cry and just daydream about all the possibilities.

Virlean

[virlean]

In Silence

When does a feeling become a memory? When does a memory become a feeling? Does it make you smile when you remember— The moment you stood above your fears, The second your worries disappear?

How do you cope with the change? Do you ever feel estranged? What do you think of when you're alone? Is it your strength to carry on or Is it your flaws that leave you torn?

You may not have the answers yet, But sit in silence and reflect, Questions asked will forge your mind, Will hone your heart to be kind, And maybe fates then will intertwine.

Virlean

[virlean]

Eyes Closed

I see it in every picture, every smile, and every story, How bright their present appears, How their lives are absent of fears— I see it every day, but I see it eyes closed.

I see it all through the corners of my screen, When they travel with friends and hang out, When their lips form the opposite of pout— I see it every day, but I see it eyes closed.

Seeing through my eyes is like a constant blur, I see things for what it is but, I feel it deep with a cut— So whenever I see, I see it eyes closed.

Because it's easier. It hurts less. And it's my barrier.

Virlean

[virlean]

The Hike

Wrote this when I felt like I'm falling behind everyone else. It's an ugly feeling. It pulls you down and makes you think you're not doing your best enough to catch up. But life's not a race. So even if it's hard, let's just ground ourselves to the present—our own present. We have different paths and journeys to take, so don't look at others with envy. You will reach your goals too, in your own time.

Virlean

[virlean]

The Waves

Float, if you feel you're sinking Swim, if you think you're ready But don't ever pull yourself down In the trenches of your doubt

Tread, if you can't touch the ground Dive, if you seek more answers But don't just go with the flow 'Cause everybody does so

Smile, when others make it to shore Smile, when you make it to shore Even months or years apart Still, you know you both survived

Look, how the waves seem different Listen, to the steady flow of current It matters not if it's dusk or dawn Still, the ocean is still an ocean

Virlean

Image: Pixabay