valleyofdollss

[valleyofdollss]

[valleyofdollss]

One of the worst things about BPD is the addiction to pain. You feel so hollow that when you feel any kind of pain, you want to continue it for no reason other than to at the very least feel something. I was just watching a triggering video and continued to trigger myself further, I started crying, and I still didn't stop. And now that I'm calm, I have no idea what to do with it, and the emptiness that came back, so I want to trigger myself again. Because even with all the mood swings, you're still hollow. That's probably why so many borderlines refer to self-harm as a coping mechanism. Love and pain are probably the strongest emotions I've ever felt, and that's probably why abusive relationships felt right in the past.

But also knowing this feels like people would diminish my pain, to he honest. I know it doesn't, and I still have trauma, I'm hurting, it doesn't matter who triggered me... but still.

-host

[valleyofdollss]

I HAVE SPENT MY LIFE RESISTING THE DESIRE TO END IT.

-Franz Kafka

[valleyofdollss]

[valleyofdollss]

I don’t want to die, but I wish I could dissolve in the cold air of the night, I would give my soul and body just to live without worrying about every 60 seconds of every minute that passes.

[valleyofdollss]

I’m trapped in a void created by my own mind, while the world keeps spinning I’m no longer available to spin with him