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Just putting this in the main chain

51. Don't ask Lasalle how many sabres he's broken, he will be counting for a while.

52. Under no circumstances should the 6th Hussars and the 8th Chasseurs be allowed anywhere near each other. What the fuck do you mean you've brigaded them together?

53. If your regiment of hussars is adopted by Murat, just go with it. You'll find your brigade again eventually, I think. Probably.

54. If you invite any of Lasalle's ADCs to dinner, they will get drunk and start singing.

55. Don't brag continuously about being one of only 140 men in the regiment to have a barrel sash, the others will get annoyed and someone will probably challenge you to a duel over it eventually.

56. Don't ask Oudinot about the time he stabbed that horse in the neck, unless you'd like to be stabbed in the neck yourself. Or stab yourself in the neck if he starts talking about obedience or something.

57. You're perfectly welcome to try to convince your General or Marshal not to burn down that Spanish village, but don't get your hopes up.

58. What happens in Spain, stays in Spain. Probably better that way.

59. Just because it grows out of the ground does not mean it's edible.

60. Should you find yourself captured and on parole in Britain, if the limits of your parole are fixed to some object such as a milestone, remember that an easy solution to out-of-bounds issues is to simply move said milestone to your desired location. Just don't be too obvious about it. Actual thing that happened.

Napoleonic War Survival Tips for the French Army

1. Don’t refer to Marshal Murat’s uniform as “peacock wear” within earshot of him.

2. When Napoleon pulls out a map, don’t ask, “Are we lost?”

3. If your cannonball doesn’t quite reach the enemy lines, just blame the wind. Or Berthier.

4. Don’t accidentally toast “To King Louis” at an officers’ dinner. Ever.

5. Avoid playing cards with Marshal Lannes – unless you enjoy losing your entire month’s pay.

6. Foraging in enemy territory: Always ask what’s in the stew before you eat it.

7. If you’re sent to negotiate peace, don’t open with, “Our emperor said this would be easy.”

8. During winter campaigns, remember: snowballs do not replace musket balls.

9. Don’t try to outdo Napoleon in recalling historical battles. You’ll lose.

10. If Napoleon is inspecting the troops, resist the urge to ask, “Is it true you’re shorter than Murat?”

11. Never, under any circumstances, suggest that Wellington’s redcoats “don’t look so tough.”

12. If Marshal Ney orders a charge, just assume it’s going to last until nightfall.

13. Do not ask Marshal Davout if his nickname Iron Marshal comes from his cooking.

14. If your bayonet charge fails, remember: retreat is just “advancing in the opposite direction.”

15. If someone says “This mission is simple,” expect nothing but complications.

16. In case of defeat, remember: it’s always the Austrians’ fault. Even if they aren’t there.

17. During peace negotiations, “bombing their latrines” is not considered a formal strategy.

18. If you happen to capture a British officer, refrain from gloating by saying, “See you in Paris!”

19. When bivouacked near rivers, don’t bet on crossing without some form of disaster.

20. Finally, do not point the cannons at the Emperor’s tent, even as a joke. Especially not as a joke.

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do i make a blog for historical shit

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linus takes a trip to the nether. birthday gift to my sister

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Welcome to Tumblr, we *smack* are a normal *smack* social media blogging *smack smack smack* website.

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Hey guys how are we doing this because I can't find how to do it anywhere 😭

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We've done it

Also my Tumblr notifications no longer work

Mission success

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It felt criminal to keep this masterpiece hidden away on my side blog, so I will also post it here. It was made to be in-character but I am inclined to agree.

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BREAK TUMBLR LET'S GO

reblog this if you are not only okay with booping spams but encourage it. blow up my notifications go buck wild we both get our big funny boop numbers

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We almost broke my Tumblr app earlier with the number of notifications

BREAK IT HARDER

MORE BOOPS

Reblog if its ok to spam you with boops

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Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops

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I wasn't expecting them to do... That. Not ideal, I must agree. But I suppose the Bucentaure could presently be considered an airship?

This is not, ah, what I would call ideal, @upbeatmeeting.

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Why not?

...

Non, @upbeatmeeting.

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YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME! THE PAW CANNOT BE KILLED! VIVE LE CHAT

MERDE

LOOK AT THE SKY MEN

LES PATTES DE CHAT GÉANTES SONT DE RETOUR !

ET SI VOUS NE TIREZ PAS SUR CES SACRÉES PATTES, JE VOUS FAIS TOUS FUSILLER !

SHOOT @upbeatmeeting!

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Hey guys be cool and normal but reblog this with the homemade meal that would get you the most hyped as a child. I need it for reasons.

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