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Angel | He didn’t plan on having a traditional future with a marriage and a family but one surprise trip to your work has him second, maybe even triple, guessing himself.

⤷ Ft. Nakahara Chuuya

Warnings | Fem!Reader, mentions of having children/pregnancy, slight identity crisis on Chuuya’s part, WC: 1.3k

A/N | Hello Tumblr people!! I am so excited to finally get to posting this fic. Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day <3

The day started out just like any other day for Chuuya, waking up next to you still soundly asleep, making the two of you coffee and breakfast then sending you a text to wake up to as he left for work. He’s been lucky today, only having a short stack of paperwork to finish before heading out to the field. After checking in with a few of his subordinates, Chuuya decides to call it a day early. 

An exceptionally ordinary day for the Port Mafia executive. 

The ginger checks his watch and a grin graces his features when he realizes you should be getting out of work in about 20 minutes. He can easily make it to the clinic you work at before you get off. Usually he’ll text you that he’s coming to pick you up, but he figures today he’ll surprise you and what’s a surprise without a bouquet of your favorite flowers from one of your favorite local florists?

Chuuya makes it to your work in 15 minutes. With 5 minutes to spare, he parks his car. The executive strips himself of his jackets, trying to make himself present as if he has a more casual job then he does and walks into the clinic. 

This clinic isn’t somewhere Chuuya would usually frequent, each time he visits you he feels a bit awkward entering the building. You work as a pediatric nurse, so you see children all day every day. You’ve expressed how difficult it can be watching sick children coming in all day but you still love getting to help them and their parents, even if it’s just for a small visit. 

The executive makes it about 5 feet into the office building when he’s stopped in his tracks at the sight of you with a child, a little boy — he can’t be much older than 4, maybe 5, years old. You’re sat on the floor with him, playing some sort of made up game and something in the ginger’s chest stirs. 

Your smile is wider than usual, a sparkle in your eye as the little boy climbs into your lap, handing you a book with his small and chubby outstretched arms. You take the invasion of your personal space in stride as a soft laugh falls from your lips and you start reading to the young child. You’re so enthralled with the boy that you don’t even notice your boyfriend standing there, starstruck. 

The scene laid out in Chuuya makes his heart yearn. In his line of work having children is risky. Being with you alone is dangerous, if it weren’t for you being an ability user yourself, Chuuya never would have entertained a relationship with a civilian. But with a child… he’s not so arrogant that he would guarantee their safety when, realistically, he knows that’s not something he can assure. 

Logically, his brain is telling him that the two of you could never become parents. But that little voice in his head that’s gotten increasingly louder since he met you is practically screaming at him. The image of a small bundle of joy with your hair and his eyes flashes across his mind. Then there’s the thought of you pregnant with his child and that short circuits something inside of his brain. He's no longer thinking logically. 

Chuuya never thought he wanted that. He was okay - content even - with it only being the two of you for the rest of your lives. But now? seeing you with a child like this, how good you are with him, he’s no longer sure. 

You’ve never brought up the idea of marriage, let alone children. Chuuya just assumed you understood that’s just something he wouldn’t be able to give you. Or maybe even that you didn’t want that kind of life. But the mafia executive is plagued by images of you in an extravagant white dress, a swollen stomach and a child that’s the perfect blend of your genes with Chuuya’s. 

Oh.

The ginger is too far gone.

It’s not until your coworker, the receptionist, is greeting Chuuya that you notice him. Not a moment too soon either, Chuuya was spiraling in a direction he doesn't think he would recover from. The woman’s voice brings him back to reality as you look up from the picture book that has a cat on display. Your eyes are misty but you smile brightly at your boyfriend. 

You’re so breathtakingly gorgeous that Chuuya literally feels winded, like your smile stole his ability to breathe. 

You tilt your head curiously. “Couldn’t wait till I got off to see me?”

“Well, I was planning on it, but looks like you’ve been preoccupied.” The ginger squats down next to you and the little boy in your arms stirs, turning to eye the ginger suspiciously.

Your attention is brought back to the small child for a split second before your head is turning to look behind Chuuya as the clinic door loudly clicks open. You smile warmly and maneuver yourself up, somehow keeping the boy in your arms. A woman with the same green eyes as the boy walks in with a baby swaddled securely to her chest. 

You gently let the boy down and watch as he runs up to who Chuuya can only assume is his mother. The resemblance, even at such a young age, is uncanny. Once again Chuuya’s thoughts are brought back to what a child with you would look like. What features would he or she get? Hopefully they would get all of your personality and temperament. 

The ginger looks over to you as a way to subtly observe your features but what he sees makes his stomach sink and face drop. The look in your eyes is longing and Chuuya knows. You want children of your own. That’s not the look of someone who never wants children. 

You put on a tight smile as the woman speaks. “Thank you so much for watching him. say thank you to the nice nurse, natsu.”

The boy waves at you with his small and chubby hand. In a timid and quiet voice the boy thanks you and then waves as his mother guides him out of the clinic. You both watch the trio until the door shuts. 

“Oh my god- I didn’t realize my shift was over with already! Are you here to pick me up? I just need to finish entering something and then I'll be out, okay-?” You blush, catching yourself before you call Chuuya your usual term of endearment while still in a professional setting. “U-uhm… fifteen minutes max. I'll be out before you know it.”

The ginger’s face softens and he smiles at you lovingly. “You got it, Doll. Y’know where to find me.”

You smile back at him and nod. As you go to turn around, Chuuya grabs hold of your hand and stops you so he can bring it up to his mouth and place a tender kiss atop your knuckles. Your breath hitches and your shoulders tense for a moment. Your cheeks heat up and you quickly look around to find your coworker cooing at his display of affection. 

You let out a squeak and pull your hand back when the executive looks up to you. 

“Chuuya- I- You-” You let out a huff and frown at him, grabbing him and spinning him around then pushing his back. “Just- Go, I’ll meet you out there.”

Chuuya watches you with an amused smirk as you turn and scan your keycard to unlock the door. He waits until it’s shut to wave at the receptionist before heading back to the parking lot. 

His mind still lingers on what the future could truly hold for the two of you. He's seen plenty of his colleagues build happy lives outside of the mafia. Maybe it’s wishful thinking but chuuya’s starting to think maybe he could too. The two of you have made it this far, why not push the limits? 

The executive’s hand twitches and phone burns in his pocket. He's made the decision, there’s something he has to do. He waits to get into his car, but the moment he does, Chuuya is unlocking his phone and searching up engagement ring cuts and styles.

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BsdTWT being incredibly dense is frustrating

"Asagiri acts like he isn't in charge of his own characters" "just write a KNDZ light novel or something" "bro can just write Kunikida content if he wants nobody is forcing him"

Asagiri has bills he needs to pay, his editors need paid, Harukawa needs paid. Nobody is physically forcing him to write SKK content but he is pressured into doing it because it makes money, and all of the people working on the series need money to survive. Fans don't care as much if there's no Dazai and/or Chuuya, but they lose their shit if those two are on screen. It gets them paid.

There are Light Novels with KNDZ, LN1 and 55 minutes exist, but really only Kunikida fans talk about LN1 because its all we have for his character. Nobody gives a shit about 55 minutes because its not: a Dazai backstory, nor is it SKK bait. Which is sad bc 55 MINUTES IS REALLY GOOD

Fans have proven that they don't care about the content of the series if it doesn't involve their top 5 or so favorite blorbo's, so please don't act like its completely incomprehensible that Asagiri feels forced to write SKK content over the shit he actually wants to write in his series because he wants money so he and his team can survive.

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I really like how the unwritten message of Beast is that anyone could become anyone given the circumstances they were put into. Atsushi could become a murderer, Akutagawa could learn to tame the beast inside of him when surrounded by good people. It questions the idea that people are innately good or innately evil. Because while yes, Atsushi is a murderer burdened by guilt and fear, and Akutagawa is a detective who lacks a drive for helping people and has no qualms resorting to...unsavory methods to get results, at the end, we see that despite Akutagawa being told he's meant to be evil, he STILL wants to try to learn. To learn how to live a good life, learn how to tame the beast. And at the end of the day, while Atsushi still wants to protect people, he learns to kill them without a moment's hesitation. The only person he can protect is Kyouka, and he is almost TOO protective of her. I just think it's really cool that you can take these characters, one who is "innately good" and one that's "innately evil" and switch their circumstances, and you can see how they'd really end up. How a good person can become a murderer when surrounded by evil, how a bad person can quench the thirst for vengeance inside of him when surrounded by good people.

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The rain drizzles down in Yokohama, leaving a mist that clings to the dim glow of street lamps. You stand by the edge of the dock, staring out over the water, thoughts drifting aimlessly. The solitude, the bleakness of it all, suits you entirely.

Footsteps approach, soft but not hidden, without even looking, you know it’s him. There’s only one person who would casually appear beside you at a time like this.

“What a romantic place to die, don’t you think?” Dazai’s voice lilts, honey-sweet with a hint of dark amusement. “You have an eye for these things.”

You don’t flinch, nor do you turn. “You call it romantic. I call it, simple…Quiet.”

His gaze lingers on you, most likely trying to read your expression, but you keep your features carefully neutral. It’s the best way to handle him, not giving him the reactions he wants—or expects.

“Oh, come on now, don’t tell me you’re already giving up on the beauty of it! I’d expect someone as mysterious as you to appreciate the finer points of self-destruction.”

You finally give him a sidelong glance, raising an eyebrow. “You make it sound like art.”

Dazai grins as he leans against the railing beside you, a hand brushing your arm as if by accident. “Well, for some of us, it is. I happen to be very dedicated to my craft.”

There’s that smile, the one that’s both charming and dangerous, and you can’t quite decide if it’s infuriating or magnetic.

“Why are you here, Dazai?” you ask, voice low and almost challenging.

“Why, to save you, of course! Or maybe to jump together…Or maybe just to talk.” He shrugs, feigning a nonchalance you know hides something deeper. “It depends on you, really.”

You don’t respond, choosing to let the silence linger instead.

It’s a silence he fills easily.

“Say,” he murmurs, closer now, his voice dropping, “We’re not so different, you know?”

Your gaze sharpens. “I’d rather not be compared to you, if that’s what you mean.”

Dazai chuckles, undeterred, his eyes glinting with a strange intensity. “Ah, but that’s exactly why I like you. You take life’s misery so seriously.”

“Shouldn’t I?”

“Maybe,” he says, his voice softer than usual. “But sometimes, it’s the comedy in all this misery that keeps us going. You just haven’t learned how to laugh at it yet.”

The comment grates on you, but something about it also strikes a chord. And Dazai, the perceptive, irritating bastard that he is, seems to sense it.

“Why don’t we get a drink?” he offers, voice playful again. “One glass can’t fix everything, but it might help make life’s absurdities…bearable.”

You sigh, finally giving in, and mutter, “Fine, but just one.”

Dazai’s grin widens as if he’s just won something. He turns, guiding you away from the docks and into the lights of the city.

You’re not entirely sure how, but in the end, it’s Dazai’s peculiar charm—the twisted way he sees the world—that makes you stay by his side a little longer, if only to see just what strange beauty he finds in the darkness you both share.

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Unexpected Encounter ‼️⁉️

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dazai osamu in another universe if you squint

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more cat sskk,,,,, i love drawing them

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— subtle physical affection prompts 𓆩♡𓆪

i hope everyone is having a great new year so far! enjoy :D

pushing strands of their hair out of their face

brushing the dust of their clothes

wiping off a food stain near their lips (bonus: you lick it off your fingers)

briefly tracing the lines of their palms

patiently helping them put their shoes on

teasingly playing with the string of their hoodie

nose boops

comparing hand sizes

accidentally grazing their hands as both of you are reaching for the same object

gentle massages for their shoulders

delicately putting your hand on their back

playful stabs with your fingers onto the side of their waist

ever so light forehead pecks

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❛ DADZAI?? ❜

DAD!Dazai Osamu X MUM!Reader

WC: 1k+ | WARNINGS: x fem reader, reader is a mother, dazai is a father, you both have a daughter, ooc dazai? + more

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: hihihi!!! this idea has been stuck in my head for the longest time, And I absolutely love ur writing style!!!!!!!! So I’m wondering if it’s possible for you to write a dadzai x fem!reader and he has a little daughter!! Thank u!!! - ANON

m.list | bsd m.list

Dazai would be the ultimate playful dad. He'd constantly come up with games to entertain his daughter, he'd let her win every time! he doesn't love to see his little princess sad, he wants her happy all the time. No tears around here!

Dazai’s teasing extends to both you and your daughter. He’d affectionately poke fun at the little things, like when his daughter mispronounces words or when you’re caught being overly serious.

Dazai is very protective of the both of you, your his only family, your his wife, and she's his daughter. He makes sure everything is secure, he doesn't want either of you in danger, he's always looking out for the threats, especially considering what his last job was.

Dazai would constantly shower his daughter with affection, but in the most chaotic way possible. Imagine him picking her up and spinning her around until she’s dizzy with laughter, or carrying her on his shoulders >.<

After your daughter goes to bed, Dazai loves having lovey-dovey moments with you, kissing you, hugging you, teasing you, having sex with you, he loves you all.

Dazai always be thinking of spontaneous adventures to take you and your daughter on (yes he will avoid work by doing this, he's hitting two birds with one stone) loves to watch his little girl play on the playground, making sandcastles but he glares at any boys who goes up to her.

Protective Dazai! GLARES AT THE LITTLE BOYS WHO WALK UP TO HIS LITTLE PRINCESS 😭🙏🏼

Dazai’s attempts at teaching his daughter important life lessons would often be... unorthodox. He’d tell her bizarre metaphors or use strange examples... when she's older, in her teen years, she starts talking about a double suicide as well...

When his daughter comes home with school projects or arts and crafts, Dazai gets surprisingly into it. He’d help her build the most elaborate school project.

As much as he wants to shelter his daughter, Dazai also believes in giving her independence to explore the world. He trusts that with both of your guidance, she’ll grow into someone independent.

BEDTIME STORIES!! DAZAI LOVES PULLING GUNNY VOICES WHILE READING HIS PRINCESS A STORY! He’d act out characters, make exaggerated voices, and then cuddle up with her until she falls asleep, her tiny hand clutching his 🥺

Dazai and your daughter would often conspire against you in the cutest of ways, like pretending to plan a prank or plotting a surprise just to make you laugh.

Now.... Beast!Dazai as a father...

Dazai would soften in front of his daughter, would absolutely never get mad, never yell, none of that. He is incredibly protective of the both of you, almost to the point where he is paranoid because he's scared something might happen to you and his little princess.

Though he’s a feared man in the underworld, when he’s home, he’s a completely different person with his daughter. He’ll play peek-a-boo, help her chase butterflies, and allow her to style his hair (which is why he often has bows or clips in his hair when you come home)

He’s big on teaching his daughter how to read people and situations. Even from a young age, he’ll subtly point out things like body language, tone of voice, and how to trust her instincts. He wants her to be sharp and never get hurt, he doesn't want her to suffer in a world like his

Dazai spoils you both, bringing back gifts with him after missions, flowers, toys, all of that. He loves to see his girls happy.

On nights where he can’t sleep (which is often), you’ll find him in his daughter’s room, quietly watching her sleep (NOT IN A CREEPY WAY LAMFOBSOJBVLS) Sometimes, he’ll hum lullabies from his childhood to soothe himself as much as his daughter.

You are the one person who keeps Dazai grounded. While his daughter melts his heart, you provide him with emotional stability. He’ll confide in you about his fears of failing as a father, or anything, because he knows you're there to help him, to help him do teh right things, reassure him, telling him that he's doing the best.

Dazai trains his daughter in self defense. He doesn't want her involved in the mafia, he just wants her to be able to protect herself. He only does it when his pretty wifey isn't home though... he doesn't want to get scolded for you catching him teaching her how to wield and shoot a gun

Family nights every night! Dazai never knows when his last night will be so he makes you eat together, watch a movie, reading a story to his daughter every night without a fail because he chesrishes these moments so much.

Dazai isn’t big on over-the-top displays of affection in public, but when it’s just you and him, he’ll wrap his arms around you, especially when he’s feeling vulnerable. He’ll kiss your forehead or play with your hair.

Dazai would raise his daughter to be independent. He’ll often praise her when she tries to solve problems on her own, even if it’s just something as small as putting her toys away. He wants her to grow up capable, strong enough so a man doesn't need to provide for her (even if shes an adult, dazai will never approve of a man with her)

Though Dazai is laid-back around you, once his daughter starts showing affection to other male figures, whether it's an innocent crush or just bonding with a friend, he’ll get hilariously overprotective. You’d have to reassure him that his little girl isn’t going anywhere 😭🙏🏼

He has a habit of giving his daughter cute nicknames, princess, my little girl, my little princess!

Dazai occasionally fears that he won’t be a good father because of his past and the world he’s still involved in. But you remind him that he’s doing his best, and the love he has for both you and his daughter is more than enough to prove he’s a great dad.

Dazai has a hidden soft spot for his family (obviously). You often catch him staring at both of you with a soft, almost melancholic smile, as if he can’t believe he’s found something so pure and worth protecting.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

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I love your blog.♥️

Awh much appreciated that :]

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Happy Halloween everyone!!

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Rappa Chuuya :D

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*♡∞:｡.｡ Basorexia ｡.｡:∞♡*

➶ bsd's Dazai, Ranpo, Tecchou, and Poe getting perhaps a bit too spoiled

➶ basorexia: the intense desire to kiss 【romance】

➶ cw: gn!reader. suggestive (mild.) cussing (very mild)

𓅪 there will be a pt. 2 soon!

𓅪 (in thirty m :DD) I'm sorry its short.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Osamu Dazai's!

That's a little too much kisses, but he thinks he can take it! Dazai's face lights up a hundred bolts whenever he feels those plump, red lips press against his cheek. Or, whatever place. You sometimes place them on his jaw, on his neck, sometimes on his forehead. You find yourself sneakier on his stomach, directly on his lips. And you're extremely lucky whenever he lets you kiss his hair.

But today he notices you're kissing his bandages. He's just utterly confused, why you're so clingy and intimate and... loving. The contact between the roughed up bandages on his arms, and your oh-so-soft lips, it felt like he really was different. He had you. You were his.

You started by kissing his palm, which didn't surprise him at all, but slowly, you began to trail down. That was just a few minutes ago, he thinks, so how did it get to this? Holding his arm up, you're near his desk, placing gentle kisses on his forearms, slolwy, but surely.

"Well, look at you," Dazai starts. You look up (without halt) just to notice that smirk. You grumbled against his arm. "Just let me..."

"Oh, no, no," He seductively mumbles in a singsong tune. "I think it's my turn, don't you? Hm?"

Ranpo Edogawa's!

He can't help but be so whiny in front of you. Whenever you shower Ranpo with kisses, he passes out (mentally of course! Can't have the greatest detective in the world unconcious, can we?) So he pouts, stomps his feet, giggles, but then cries. Why the fuck is thid grown man crying? You sometimes wonder how a kiss on his forehead can get him so worked up.

Then again, it's so damn cute, so you can't really mind. That pout, his lips that curl down ever so slightly, and then that cute-ish, annoying-ish look in his eyes; you never question why you're so utterly in love.

"Forehead kisses are diiiiffereeeent," Ranpo whines, laying on top of you, controlling how heavy he's weighing down, on the cold, twin-sized bed. And you kiss him on the forehead as he says that.

"No they're not," You disagree. You giggle, noticing how his breathing slowed down to match yours, since his was always so fast-paced. "They're the same as every kiss."

The detective shakes his head like crazy, messing his hair up just for you to tidy it up again. He's always like this, either pouting like a kid or smiling like a complete, big idiot. You adore him so much you can't help but mind his childishness. Like you want to squish his cheeks every chance you get, or put his growing, dark hair into some kindergarten hairstyle.

He loves you. A lot. "Then again, cheek kisses are different, too," He hums against your chest, the low noise vibrating through every bone, every muscle, every nerve in your body.

Ranpo finally decides on something, the cutesy pout replaced unexpectedly by his enthusuastic smile."Every kiss with you is different!"

Suehiro Tecchou's!

The blushing mess he is, it's your fault. Suehiro usually looks stoic, but you know he's just a big baby. Your big baby, thankfully. It's not his fault you keep kissing his chest after a hundred (maybe two hundred) push ups for himself. He doesn't think it's hygienic of you, but oh well, he can take your pretty lips just fine.

He loves having you sat on his lap, letting you kiss every part of his body. And you enjoy it, because well, who wouldn't enjoy those chiseled abs and those soft but hard pecs? You just love your boyfriend's soft personality and muscular body.

"I'm all sweaty though," Suehiro says with a neutral expression, putting his hands on your hips to help you get onto him, although he was protesting against it.

"Even hotter." You comment with a lick of your lips. You kiss his chest, once, twice, thrice, and he breaks. He turns into some blushing mess he was sure nobody but you could see. "Let me shower first," You hum, shaking your head.

You're filled with dirty thoughts the moment you're with him; how could you not when he's practically asking to be loved so tenderly? "I might do something to you if you shower," You say with a suggestive wink, your lips making contact with the space between his pecs.

"You?" He chuckles, a sweet chuckle coming from a deep voice. "You're doing something to me?"

"Yeah, why?" Before he can even shower, he'd be doing something to you.

His calloused hand begins trailing lower and lower, from your waist to your hips, from your thighs to your inner thighs, his large hands only get closer to your core. "You're too confident, baby."

Edgar Allan Poe's!

It's a bit odd when he shrieks as you kiss him. Poe's hair covers his eyes most of the time, and whenever he grows his lustrous locks out, they cover his cheeks, too. Luckily, he's just had a haircut and you start to mess with him in his office to see that blush you love causing.

He's quite sure he was peacefully writing another fiction book, when you randomly entered his room and started getting all over him. He won't complain, he's your boyfriend. He's a good one.

But when you started kissing his hand? He died.

Poe shrieks in horror when you pick up his slender writing hand to press it gently against your lips, the ones that of course only he's allowed to touch. He doesn't hate it—not at all—but he loves it so much he's scared. And the sudden level of his voice startles you even though you almost instantly realize he's blushing. The boy is blushing!

"You like it?" You ask as a little tease. He huffs. "Weirdo."

You kiss his the back of his palm again, he lets out another shriek, shaking his hand like he was attempting desperately to shake the kiss off. So cute, you think. Of course he's overreacting, but that's just how he usually is.

"Y-you wouldn't like it either if I kiss you, huh?!" He yells out panickingly, all red-faced. "You squirm as much as I do!"

"Ye, but you're cuter," You insist. And he panics again, when you kiss his palm, gently sinking your teeth into the sensitive skin as he stifles his voice.

You're ending up somewhere else. That's final.

ⒺⓃⓂⒾⒺᛌⓈ first bsd fanfic | all the people that liked this will be tagged: Taglist: @littleangelowo @mimi-asalways @glitch-ink3 @chuuya-apologist @kouleblanc

update: : @swaggestsillyfailure @noctywockty @icyfirecookie @byzantiumhollow

update: @dunnojustwannahavefun @anastasiamarch-27 @gayfrogswithhats @dazkai @matchboxartist

PART TWO!! | PART THREE!! | PART FOUR!! (coming soon)

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When you miss me, post something that only you and I understand

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I have a headcanon/au idea for everyone!

Chuuya is trans-masc, but mostly just because when the sheep found him they assumed he was a boy and he just didn’t know that they were wrong about his sex. Like he just straight up didn’t know the difference between male and female and he certainly didn’t understand what the fuck gender is. (I don’t know what the fuck gender is, it’s so abstract, i put no stock in it. I will respect people’s pronouns and such but I will never understand why they care or what they think the difference even is it’s not like you know anything about a person based on their gender. The entire concept is obsolete.)

So Chuuya is a dude, he’s a guy, uses he/him pronouns because that’s what he’s comfortable with and what he’s used to and what everyone assumes anyway. But he’s female. Naturally androgynous, flat chested but still technically female. And that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. It explains his height a bit, 5’3 is a perfectly normal height for females even if it’s on the shorter end for males. It explains his tiny waist, despite his healthy lifestyle and musculature. It explains that one line at the beginning of Storm Bringer when the flags comment on how he gets in a bad mood about once a month. Other than that it’s completely irrelevant outside of sex, and even then it has 0 affect on dynamics, just mechanics.

Would’ve been so awkward when the sheep finally found out about this little misunderstanding, but honestly they had bigger things to worry about. Shirase was embarrassed and apologetic at first until Chuuya said it was probably a good thing anyway. Then it just became something they laughed about, like hoooo boy how did we miss that for like 4 years?!

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Hayao Miyazaki

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instead of oneshots I want to write long and complicated fics again except my writer's block will hit me in the head again so let's not do that