turrielle

[turrielle]

I’ve been overwhelmed with live this entire time of inactivity. The notebook keeping made me but anxious and induced my feeling of dread for life.

I do bits of tracking in notion to watch patterns. Can’t do any physical form of note taking, it feels like my extreme depressive breakdown has left a traumatic mark on this action for a time.

I’m the loneliest and most depressed I’ve ever been in my life.

[turrielle]

I am finding out that I have lost connection with myself. I have been in a survival mode since I moved countries. Since I started school. Since I started my life over from scratch. At the moment, there is nothing I enjoy in life and this hasn't always been the case. There were at least comfort activities, places, foods before. I don't find any of those comforting anymore and it sucks. I have been spending more energy than I can afford every day and I am in debt. I can't afford to sustain daily activities anymore and how am I to repay my body? There is no coming "back", no home for me anymore and I have to keep going forward in this completely random direction that I don't even enjoy to a small extent of little comforts. Nothing is familiar or nostalgic, nothing is joyful anymore.

[turrielle]

[turrielle]

Childhood can be scary.

A collection of some of my hand-drawn horror looping animations!

[turrielle]

Working on a creative journal to send to my friend from Russia instead of a letter that we usually exchange.

[turrielle]

Starting off with another attempt in commonplacing.

[turrielle]

Posted a lil video on YouTube with the November flip through! go check it out lol

[turrielle]

She thick

[turrielle]

Honestly, I’m trying to get rid of the stickers I’ve had for years

[turrielle]

Had to deal with this mess of a spread the last two days

[turrielle]

An attempt to add accent colors. Guess what they were!

[turrielle]

Another spread of randomness

[turrielle]

Finished spread. I love it!

[turrielle]

Getting a taste of annotating before I invest in proper tools like pretty color bookmarks and highlighters. Also can’t make myself write and highlight in a book 😵 also it is 5:30 am I girl bossing today?

[turrielle]

Getting ready to enter the next two-day spread on Wednesday and Thursday hehe

[turrielle]

Cozy Monday has passed and Tuesday is coming. Photo printer apparently makes photos a bit darker than they are supposed to be ugh oh well.

[turrielle]

My weekend looks pretty festive. It goes more mundane than this pretty spread.