ttc-baby

[ttc-baby]

Update:

At the dr appointment today I explained what was going on and she asked if I took a test in office I said no. So she had me test and gave me paperwork to have bloodwork done at the hospital. The urine test came back positive faint but positive. So she did an ultrasound, we didn’t see a baby there but there are signs my uterus is preparing for a baby. Went and did blood work and my levels came back at 49 so I am officially pregnant.. I go back Monday morning for another blood draw to see if my levels are rising the way they should and then she talked about doing a follow up ultrasound to make sure baby is developing in the uterus.

What a wild ride this has been, while I’m trying not to get to excited about it today I am honestly in shock that we were able to get pregnant naturally and all the hoops this little bean is already making me jump through!

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Being a woman is so confusing! I had some faint positives last week, so when I went to the pcp appointment I had her test my HCG it came back at a 1 which is considered negative. I also started bleeding so I assumed that was my period. I did not continue to test because I had a no from the Dr. I have a appointment with my obgyn tomorrow to talk about fertility treatments and I tested this morning just to see if the positive was now negative and boom it’s darker than what it was last week. I even busted out a clear blue and LH test to see. All of them positive. I’ve been told the LH strips pick up HCG so if you are pregnant they will be positive like you are ovulating and sure enough that’s what it looks like.

You really can’t make this shit up… hopefully my dr can give me some clarity on this cause if I am pregnant I would like to know for sure

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And I have a peak!! We might be in business, we will see what happens

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I have officially met the goal weight my dr set to start fertility treatments again!! I have another month before I go back to the dr so I am going to try to lose as much as I can before then.

I am also tracking my LH this month. After having the chemical pregnancy last month I just want to see if I am going to ovulate on my own again. As of right now I am CD 15 and it is rising so we will see if I get a peak in the next couple of days

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I am going to accept this as a chemical pregnancy, while there is a line this morning, it is lighter. Granted I was up at 3am to use the bathroom so the concentration may not be there, I am still having light bleeding. I should have known it was to good to be true. We have been trying for year how possible would it be for me to get pregnant naturally…

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I woke up this morning with mild cramping and some bleeding. I’m still having light bleeding which is a mix of light pink and brown. I haven’t experienced any more cramping and my wondfo test are still positive. If I have a positive in the morning I’m going to call the Dr to see if I can get an hcg blood draw scheduled this week to see if I am actually pregnant or not. If I am hoped they will do multiple draws to see if I am progressing or having an early miscarriage or chemical pregnancy

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I am a bit confused by these test! The faint line I saw is getting darker BUT it’s not a solid line of that makes sense. The test was read after the required amount of time and before the cut off time…. I have more ordered that are a different brand. They will come in tomorrow but take a look at the picture. Is this an error or am I really pregnant?!

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This week we would have been celebrating our rainbow babies 1st birthday. Which I’ve been emotional about. So I figured I would do an update on life.

My weight loss journey has been insane to say the least I lost weight then gained it back and now I have lost again. I am officially down 46 pounds since April of last year! I can see it in my face and my clothes definitely fit looser now.

This year so far has came with its struggles. We lost my uncle in January and had a scare that I would be losing my job a few weeks later, while that is still uncertain it does seem to be less of a possibility.

I started going to my dr in January I had 7 pounds to lose at the time and then 4 pounds in February. I am holding steady a bit so fingers crossed I can get where I need to, to start fertility treatments again…..unless I don’t need it.

I haven’t been tracking ovulation just tracking when I have my period and when I need to take progesterone to induce a cycle. With that being said I’ve had some pregnancy symptoms that started around the time a normal person would ovulate from my last cycle. Sore breast, vivid and consistent dreams, frequently needing to use the bathroom, I’ve noticed my sense of smell has heightened. So I starting taking test a couple of days ago, and yesterday I thought I saw the faintest of lines, after some cramping I had yesterday I was almost convinced. So I took another test this morning and there was a faint line! I am trying not to get to excited, I have had false positives in the past and 2 losses BUT if I am pregnant I just know when my uncle got to heaven he had a talk with God and sent this baby to me. He had to, how else would I have gotten naturally pregnant after trying for years and nothing without fertility medication. But if I’m. It that’s okay, we will continue on our journey. Also if I am pregnant I would be due on my mom’s birthday how insane is that…

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Little update, I’ve been having ewcm for the past couple of days, which I haven’t had in a long time. I’ve also been tracking ovulation, today I saw a rise and based on my app it is considered high at .53, so fingers crossed I ovulate this month

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A year ago today I lost my precious angel baby. Something I prayed for and continue to pray for. It took us 2 medicated cycles to conceive and lost baby at 9weeks. What started as a subchorionic hemorrhage quickly turned into me birthing my child in the bathroom. I’ve managed to make it through today without full blown tears, but my heart still aches for what could have been. Since then we have had 3 failed medicated cycles, an HSG, and surgery to remove polyps and endometriosis from my uterus and fallopian tubes. Since surgery I had my thoughts of our fertility journey shattered by a hospital policy saying my dr wouldn’t be able to accept me as a patient if I’m over a certain weight pre pregnancy. I am now on a weight loss journey, it’s been 3 months and I’ve lost 17lbs. I am struggling to get past that mark but I’m still trying. It’s hard knowing I am still struggling to have a baby when I should have a 5 month old by now… I just pray this next year brings us what we have been hoping and praying for. 

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I find it real ironic that I’m having the worst period almost year to date of losing our baby. So not only am I emotional about the day but now I get to experience heavy bleeding and cramping like I’m losing it all over again.. you can’t make this shit up

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I had my post op surgery Monday. I needed to process everything before making a post.

For starters I am healing fine, which is great. My dr showed me my pictures which showed proof that I ovulated, but since she scrapped my lining I won’t have a cycle from it. She asked if I’ve been having periods on my own, I haven’t. So she prescribed me progesterone to trigger a cycle. I’ve been told to take it the first of every month till it comes on its own.

She broke some news I was not expecting. The hospital that she delivers at is a lower level hospital and they don’t have an obgyn on staff at all times. Because of this they have made a policy change, if you are over a certain weight pre pregnancy the dr is not allowed to accept you. I am over that weight by about 35lbs.

Since I’m on semiglutide she wants to up my dose to help me lose weight. Since I’m on the shot she can’t give me clomid because of the risk for a potential pregnancy. Which means I have to lose weight before continuing the process. She doesn’t want to see me for 6 months to see if I can lose the weight in that time frame.

Here I was excited that we may have a chance of maintaining a pregnancy just to find out I won’t even possibly be starting any medicated cycles till November. If by a miracle I get pregnant before then and haven’t lost enough weight then I have to find a new dr. It’s a lot and extremely disappointing.

So my journey to a baby has taken a turn into a serious weight loss journey… I’ve got my work cut out for me and I have to keep myself motivated with the thought of potentially having a baby one day.

[ttc-baby]

Surgery Update

Surgery went well, they were able to clean out my uterus and the endometriosis, my left tube was open so she didn’t have to do anything to it. She said there was no signs of scar tissue either. Now we recover!

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Surgery tomorrow!!

I had pre op on Friday, which turned into an entire day thing. My ob didn’t realize I had heart surgery as a child and once she found out she freaked out. She called anesthesia and they said without an echo to show my heart is strong enough and healthy, they wouldn’t do the surgery. So began the scramble to get an echo last minute. I was able to get one stat and I also had to get an ekg and bloodwork. Everything went good and I’m scheduled for 6am tomorrow.

I am full of feeling but anxiety seems to be the biggest one. Pray for me yall!

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As I roll into this week, there is a lot of feelings. Friday I go in for my pre op appointment for my surgery next week. Which is exciting and stressful. I have a lot on my plate. Monday starts with a new training class I’m facilitating at work. Which my boss was not happy about me missing days during. It also starts week 3 of my psychology of social media course, which has been more than I expected when it comes to course work. On top of those two things I’ve been stretching out household finances thin to come up with 2 grand before this surgery. Thankfully I have an FSA that has some of the money on it and my recent promotion has been able to provide additional funds to assist, but it’s still a lot. We have had to sacrifice our luxuries of going out to eat and having a little cushion money to cover it. It is absolutely worth every bit of it. I’m just ready to get through this so I can actually enjoy my raise and move forward to the next chapter in our journey.

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Follow Up Results

My dr advised that I have a blockage in my left tube and some growth in my uterus which is most likely polyps. She scheduled me for surgery later this month to clean out my uterus and clear the blockage. I am excited and a bit nervous. I haven’t had surgery since I was a kid. I’m just glad to be getting some answers and making steps towards getting issues fixed so we can try again

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HSG Update

HSG is done!! First it was not painful, I was nervous as hell thinking it was going to hurt, and honestly I didn’t feel anything. The worst part was him trying to get my cervix in the right spot and keeping my feet in the stirrup cause the thing kept moving. Now I wasn’t expecting him to tell me anything but he did which I’m glad for. My right tube was great, but my left tube was blocked. So I assume I will be needing surgery to open it up but I’m not 100% on that. I have a follow up with my regular OB in a couple of weeks and she will fill me in on next steps. I am absolutely relieved that they found something and it’s fixable. I was a little emotional about it but in a good way.