troublehasfoundme

[troublehasfoundme]

Nomadic

[troublehasfoundme]

Another setting sun

Another day said and done

It’s all just a blur

I don’t even know what day it is anymore

[troublehasfoundme]

Listening to sad songs from The Cure seems to be the only thing that makes my heart feel anything lately

[troublehasfoundme]

stop being so forgiving, people know exactly what the fuck they’re doing

[troublehasfoundme]

Personally, one of the hardest things for me to navigate is trying to be there for other people and be the person they need me to be without compromising who I am and what it is I want; it’s an impossible balancing act. Too often, I feel like I put myself on the back burner, putting myself through emotional suffering without a second thought in the attempt to make someone else’s hurt less intense.

I’m so desperate to make other people happy, I hardly even consider my own happiness. Other people’s happiness constantly runs through my brain, stresses me, never leaves me alone. My own happiness feels more like a concept; a fleeting idea of something that doesn’t exist. I almost feel ashamed putting too much thought into it, like it’s a selfish pursuit that inherently compromises other people in my surrounding. It’s exhausting to feel this way.

[troublehasfoundme]

It’s killing me to love you but it’s the only way to live

[troublehasfoundme]

[troublehasfoundme]

I miss feeling your body wrapped around me in bed, your arms wrapping mine in closer, pulling yourself in tighter. I miss feeling your breathing slow down until it starts flowing in perfect synchronicity with mine. I miss kissing the back of your neck as I feel you slowly fall asleep. I miss the privilege of ending my day and starting a new one lying next to my favourite person and the comfort and ease that feeling brings me. I miss you.

[troublehasfoundme]

I want you in my life but, at the same time, I want you as far away from it as possible. You’re the Halloween candy with razorblades inside; a cheap, dirty trick with no rhyme or reason, wrapped in a glistening and sweet coat. You’re the drug I took too much of that’s now fucking me up. You’re the favourite meal I overindulged in and no longer like that much. I just wanna cut you out, but I don’t wanna cut myself. I don’t know if there’s a way to do the former without doing the latter.

[troublehasfoundme]

Nothing seems to make sense anymore

The internet is but a fragment of what it was before

Back to Tumblr, jumping into the basin

Hoping maybe this water hasn’t been tainted