transmasc-fudanshi

[transmasc-fudanshi]

One of the most important things I’ve learned as a Real Adult™ is the importance of a job half done. 

Today I did a load of dishes, wiped off my stove, and swept the kitchen floor. Did I do the best job, or finish every dish? No! My stove still has that caked on caramel that I need to bust out an SOS pad to take care of, one of our big pots is still sitting in the sink, and somehow a kitty kibble unearthed itself while I was wiping down the stove (?? how??).. but the kitchen looks a LOT better. It’s once again an inhabitable, usable space.

Parents, bosses, teachers, even my own self, harp upon absolute perfect completion of a task as the be all and end all of a job well done, but god damn, my kitchen isn’t terrible because I took the time to improve it. Little steps, especially when you’re struggling, are important. They mean a LOT. They are a sign that you won, if only in that brief moment, and they make getting all the other stuff done so much easier later on down the road. 

[transmasc-fudanshi]

If a trans man wants to wear lacy underwear for their partner, it doesn’t invalidate their gender.

If a trans man decides to take on a more “feminine role” during sex, it doesn’t invalidate their gender.

If a trans man wants to be submissive during sex, it doesn’t invalidate their gender.

And if a trans man is too uncomfortable to have sex because of dysphoria, that doesn’t invalidate their gender, either.

Sex positivity for trans men is important. How you express yourself sexually does not invalidate your gender!

[transmasc-fudanshi]

need more trans masc friends 🩵

[transmasc-fudanshi]

there is no community

I'm trans, just not part of "the community."

The conditions are too steep and I'm unwilling to abide by them.

I won't minimize my issues as a trans masc person nor lie about the statistics just to avoid harassment from other trans people. I won't allow anyone to compare me to cishet men. I won't allow "AGAB" terminology to be used by perisex trans people. Lastly, I won't accept a spot at the back of the line behind white, perisex trans people.

I have my chosen family, though, a close-knit group of queer people with deep love and affection for one another. Which is all I truly needed.

[transmasc-fudanshi]

'Tis the season to unpack some stuff about Christmas from a minority perspective:

Christmas is a Christian holiday. The fact that many celebrate it in an irreligious way (which is valid!) does not change its origins, connotations, symbolism, nor what it has historically meant for religious minorities.

The idea that Christmas is "secular" (read: neutral) is a product of Christian hegemony and the blindness of many in Christian countries to the permeation of Christianity as "default" culture.

When someone says they don't celebrate Christmas since it's a Christian holiday, it is not actually reassuring or helpful to say something along the lines of "oh well it's just a secular day of family & presents for everyone! So you can celebrate it too!"

Though the above statement is usually well-intentioned, it is often distressing to hear because it is untrue and is erasing our lived experiences. The reflexive effort to make Christmas universal is a cultural reverberation of the millennia-old evangelizing effort to make Christianity universal, and as such, can be very uncomfortable for religious minorities.

[transmasc-fudanshi]

Being told all trans men are evil bc they are “gender traitors” really sucks as a trans man who actually puts effort into being evil for other reasons.

[transmasc-fudanshi]

If you see this, it's not too late.

[transmasc-fudanshi]

in case anyone else needs to hear this it’s ok to be more serious. i don’t just mean ‘it’s ok to be serious sometimes’ i mean in general. not everyone has to be funny. it doesn’t have to mean you’re sad or unlikeable. you can just be serious and genuine most of the time and that’s great. i personally think that we’re too focused on ‘funny’ as the primary carrier of likeability right now. i often feel starved for serious conversation, for serious spaces, for a feeling of gravity. you don’t have make good jokes to give people a good time. i say, goof only as the spirit moves you, & don’t worry about it. 

[transmasc-fudanshi]

this is a positivity post for masculine trans people.

shoutout to masculine transmascs/trans men. Your masculinity is not evil, it is not bad, it is not toxic. You are allowed to be happy finally getting to be masculine. You are allowed to want a deeper voice, or facial hair, or to look stereotypically masculine. You do not have to be a 'softboi'; that aesthetic is only for people who want it.

shoutout to masculine transfems/trans women. Your masculinity is not evil, it is not 'faking your transness', you do not owe anyone femininity just because of your gender. You are allowed to present masculine and still speak up when you're misgendered; it's not 'your fault', and being a masculine transfem is wonderful.

shoutout to masculine trans people who aren't transfem or transmasc; you deserve to have your gender and pronouns respected even if your gender isn't masculine. You are not bad being masculine. you are allowed to be masculine, and your masculinity is good.

Masculine trans people are not bad, they not scary, and they deserve love and respect.

[transmasc-fudanshi]

idk who needs to hear this (yes i do) but your feminism isn't actually gonna be trans-inclusive unless you can be normal about men

[transmasc-fudanshi]

Why are so many people convinced that "white, passing trans man in a liberal city surrounded by supportive family, peers, and medical professionals who is systemically equal to a cis man" is universally the only transmasculine experience in the entire world ever

[transmasc-fudanshi]

this is heavily shaped by living in the specific flavor of liberal area i do,, but in my experience, people treat me worse when they know im a trans man than when they think im a trans woman.

when people think im a trans woman, i get stares, but no one tries to get violent. when i interact with people, they go out of their way to be polite and friendly - to a pretty excessive degree.

some people want brownie points for doing good interacting with a trans woman, for being sooo welcoming~, but most people are clearly in the category of *wanting* to be transphobic, but not feeling like they could get away with it.

but people who know im a trans man, whether i told them, or they successfully clocked me, almost universally use it as an excuse to use me as a punching bag.

Even ostensibly progressive, trans-positive, ~welcoming~ cis people see the 'man' part of me and see a reason to treat me like shit, and the 'trans' part as a reason they can get away with it.

cis men tend not to get physical with me. Presumably, they don't think they could get away with taking it that far. they'll make the joke about it, but none of them follow through. Cis men tend to think it's pc bullshit, but apparently, they're not allowed to hit people anymore, and they'd definitely get in trouble for "hitting a woman, even if she thinks she's a guy".

Whereas cis women, they'll do anything to me. They don't just try to socially ostracize me like the men do, they hit me, they grope me, they take out every fantasy they have about hurting a man *on me* because they Realize They Can Get Away With It.

and that's the kicker! they do get away with it! because the transness and the manhood interact such that EVERYONE thinks im deserving of punishment! conservatives because im trans, liberals because im a man, and at the end, no matter who's in charge, no cis woman is getting in trouble socially or legally for hurting me! some people decide based on the man part and some people decide based on trans part but EVERYONE thinks it's justified!

[transmasc-fudanshi]

Remade it for people to start using the lavender diversity stripe + use the correct hex colors for the intersex flag! IIRC, was the last stripe Gilbert Baker added before he died.

I know it's colorful and messy but it makes me happy to see, yanno? So I made a clean version on my phone real quick if anyone wanted it lol

[transmasc-fudanshi]

I love you transmascs

I love you transmascs who are hyperfemmine

I love you transmascs who are hypermasculine

I love you transmascs who are androgynous

I love you transmascs who are nonbinary

I love you transmascs who are multigender

I love you transmascs who are binary

I love you transmascs who are lesbians

I love you transmasc who are gay

I love you transmascs who are straight

I love you transmasc who are m-spec

I love you transmascs who are aro

I love you transmascs who are ace

I love you transmascs who without dysphoria

I love you transmascs with dysphoria

I love you transmasc who are closeted

I love you transmascs who are stealth

I love you transmascs who are out and proud

I love you transmascs who pack

I love you transmascs who don’t

I love you transmascs who bind

I love you transmascs who don’t

I love you transmascs who pass

I love you transmascs who are clocky

You’re all valid and amazing, I love you

[transmasc-fudanshi]

the videos on tiktok that are like "the trans man/ afab transmasc/nby person that starts dating a (usually het) cis man and then changes their pronouns to she/her / gets off t / detransitions" always have rubbed me the wrong way. its never made in a concerning way, its always to mock the person or the situation. and its ALWAYS specifically afab trans people. making fun of people who detransition because of a toxic/unhealthy/abusive relationship is incredibly shitty. do better.

[transmasc-fudanshi]

im starting to think some people who hate trans men don't actually think man is an acceptable gender to be. or even an actual gender at all

[transmasc-fudanshi]

im starting to think some people who hate trans men don't actually think man is an acceptable gender to be. or even an actual gender at all