transguyjack-blog

[transguyjack-blog]

Donal’s daughter is still missing.

***PLEASE REBLOG***

Contact NYPD if you have any information.

[transguyjack-blog]

Cant sleep

My neighbor smokes in the apartment below me. Suddenly I’ll awaken being strangled by second hand smoke. It’s so fucked up…. if it was pot I wouldn’t care because it’s not carbon monoxide poisoning seeping into my window and filling up my room to to point I literally have to filter the air through my tshirt so I can fucking breathe!!!! Everytime I walk by his door I want to kick it in. And I walk by every day and every night. I may have to ask him to keep his windows closed if he’s going to smoke because he’s killing me with his second hand smoke… he must have finished his cigarette because the air blowing in my window from the fan is fresh and cool again and I can feel my body open up to it, breathing it all in. Breathing in LIFE! I’m awake again at almost 3am I suppose I have a lot on my mind. Like, I need to build this loft over the weekend… I have been to Home Depot twice and just stand in the lumber isle completely overwhelmed. It’s like spring cleaning after 5 years, that paralyzation you get when you go through those old shoe boxes of papers and files and you see pictures from your old life, your old loves and you start remembering things you thought you’d never think of. And somehow you have two dogs you never thought you’d have and some art on the walls then you hear a toilet flush and remember you don’t live alone at the moment and you haven’t talked to your Dad in a long time and you haven’t spoken to anyone in your family except your Mom in awhile because since you came out transgender it’s weird and who cares anyway. People take it personally and later find ways to use it against you… so strange when people do that. There’s a dark river under the streets where I live and it’s a dark energy that most of the people around here are oblivious to…. it’s like the energy you hold in your hair and when you cut it off it feels so great, but this river is never free… if you sat back and watched the security cameras around here while everyone is asleep you would know how creepy crawly it is out there… where you walk everyday… in your oblivion with your coffee and your bubble tea, your cell phone and your cigarettes… he’s smoking again… always this same time every night …. I’m having top surgery in a little over two weeks. I have to build this loft and find someone who’s not afraid to walk my dogs.

[transguyjack-blog]

More Than Ten Years on Testosterone - Is It Safe??

Have you ever worried about the possible long-term effects of being on Testosterone?

Well, you can relax because science has your back.

Italian researchers concluded in 2014 that “Testosterone administration in FtM subjects has a good safety profile” after finding “no significant serious adverse effects and no clinically relevant changes” in 45 FTM patients treated for at least 10 years with T.

Also notable: “Liver and kidney function tests did not show any significant changes.”

The aim of the study was to assess the effects and safety of Testosterone administration on body weight, lipid profile, hematological and bone parameters in trans men.

Source: Safety of More Than Ten Years Testosterone Administration in FTM Subjects. Cristina Meriggiola, MD, PhD, Antonietta Costantino, PhD, Carla Pelusi, MD, Martina Lambertini, MD, Alberto Bazzocchi, MD. Book of Abstracts, WPATH 2014 Biennial International Symposium.

Related Studies:

Largest Study to Date: Transgender Hormone Treatment Safe (2014)

Long-term cross-sex hormone treatment is safe in transsexual subjects. Cristina Meriggiola M, Berra M. Asian Journal of Andrology. 2012;14(6):813-814. doi:10.1038/aja.2012.89.

Also see: Myths and Misconceptions about Testosterone - FTM Guide

[transguyjack-blog]

This is so heartbreaking!!!! 💔😭😭😭😭😭 #neverforgetleelahalcorn RIP baby girl, I'm so sorry you were so alone! 😔

Suicide Note

If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.

Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.

When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.

When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

I formed a sort of a “fuck you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.

So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.

At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a shit about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.

After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.

Goodbye,

(Leelah) Josh Alcorn

[transguyjack-blog]

Coming soon: MyTransHealth, an app connecting trans people to knowledgeable, reliable and affordable healthcare providers. 

19% of trans people have been refused healthcare because of their gender identity. 50% of trans people have had to teach their doctors about trans-related medical care. 28% of trans people have been harassed in medical settings. This app is desperately needed. Follow them at mytranshealth. 

[transguyjack-blog]

My body

When I complain about my #fat I'm freaking out over the parts of me that are female. It's fucked up. I hate it. I'm starting to work out. It's hard to look in the mirror without a shirt on. I don't care if you think I'm skinny or small or whatever! When I say "omg I'm so fat" I'm having body dysphoria! It's always been that way. No. I'm not bulimic, never have been. No. I'm not anorexic, never have been. I'm transgender. It's a real thing. So please, I know I'm late to the awakening, but please don't act like I am hating on FAT Jesus Christ!

[transguyjack-blog]

#transguyjack #ftm #transgender #nyc #transguyproblems #transguy #transman #selfmade

[transguyjack-blog]

Hi 👋 I’m Jack

lol

[transguyjack-blog]

Family

My mom doesn't talk to me anymore. My brother and I haven't spoken in over 3 years he's a right wing republican Marine. My Dad is a right wing Christian who left a long time ago. My other brother is strung out on drugs and has his own demons. My immediate family is gone. I need to accept that and it's really difficult to swallow. I don't understand why they can't speak to me. Why they don't understand the meaning of transgender.... how they can't possibly believe I am transgender! I don't understand why this is so difficult for the masses to understand. Why don't they WANT to understand? Why don't they WANT to know me anymore? I've never been happier in my life! Sometimes it hurts, most of the time I just shrug it off, pretend I don't care and a lot of the time I convince myself it's their loss but then nights like tonight happen and I'm having a CT Scan in the morning and I want to have familial support but then I remember "oh yeh, I don't have their support anymore because I'm trans and it makes them uncomfortable" 😣 My girlfriend has a girlfriend and I'm fine with that today but am I? Ugh! Ok goodnight

[transguyjack-blog]

Coming out Trans at 47

I am taking to the interweb because I am finding it very difficult to deal with this transition amongst the people that have known me for years as a female, as a butch, as a girl, as a “tomboy” … I think my generation, well, I personally never thought I would see the day gay marriage happened and lo and behold it’s here and it’s awesome.  I personally have been marching in the Dyke March for the last 30 years! Damn since the mid 80′s!  Given that, I was taught at a young age to respect the ones that marched before me to make my life a little easier than theirs was, and believe me, it wasn’t easy, so I know they all must have gone through hell either being violently abused, cast out of their families, treated like freaks, homeless, or the agony of living in the closet and the fear of being found out and possibly having to denounce who you are to just spare yourself some pain whatever form you could think of.  I hung out in the gay scene when I was a teenager, that’s when I was brave enough to admit to being into girls.  It was always difficult to muster the word #lesbian for me or even #dyke for that matter. It was a disgrace actually and I never felt 100% proud.  I drank and did a shit ton of drugs to deal with the shame and the horror of what was happening to me….