trace9091

[trace9091]

ITS TIME.

[trace9091]

to love is to look back. when eurydice was behind, orpheus looked back. when kim dokja remained on that train, han sooyoung and yoo joonghyuk looked back. yoohankim is love at its most tragic but also love at its most beautiful, bc no matter what, even when kim dokja thinks he’s not deserving of such devotion, han sooyoung and yoo joonghyuk will always look back. from the 0th regression all the way to han sooyoung in the 1863rd regression. it’s a story that’ll loop forever bc love isn’t linear or rational or easily explained away. they love each other in a way so complete and circular that it can be felt over and over again.

[trace9091]

Chrobin Week - Vessels of Fate

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[trace9091]

making shitposts until i get struck with motivation from the gods

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girl who’s constantly doing calculations and optimization in my head to save 0.2 seconds off my commute

[trace9091]

I'm at a :.|:; for words.

[trace9091]

we need a cuteness aggression equivalent term for when you see art of your favorite character you like so much that you sincerely cannot think of anything to put in the tags that isnt "im going to start biting off my own fingers"

[trace9091]

Orpheus looked back out of nothing but love. The worst crime he ever committed was loving too strongly, having a heart too full, longing too deep. He could carry the weight of the world, but chose to carry the weight of his love instead, and he made it. What is there to even complain about? Would Eurydice complain that she was loved? That Orpheus was brimming with unbearable excitement thinking he had her back? That her presence was so illuminating and revered and wanted that he couldn't bear another second without seeing her? Orpheus is a man of love and lived by that love to the very end. You call me Orpheus, call me a man who looked back even when told not to and to you I say, I would look back a thousand times for them, in every life time. Because how could I ever ignore my love?

(P.S. I'm smashing the absolute shit out of that poll button)

It's "See how well you can follow instructions" time ya lil fuckers!!

Here's a poll, you can't press any of the options, that's the only rule, no voting. Reblogs, likes, and comments are totally allowed, you just can't vote

You all have one week, let's see how this goes

@maryland-no-rabies Tagging cause I need people to see this

Have fun !!

[trace9091]

Spoiler free tip-of-the-iceberg version

- He's the most normal guy of all time and is extremely relatable, while also being extraordinary at the same time. He likes reading, he takes public transit, he's horrible with directions and gets lost day one at his job. He's surprisingly meek and shy, but thinks about other people a lot. He cares so much about people that he compares them to stories and notices little nuances about them, but is very shy about himself and tries to downplay himself in front of others. He doesn't really like drinking, but he still goes along with it when others are around. He cares about kids and goes out of his way to make sure they're safe and cared for, even though he feels perpetually guilty towards them. He's such a fanboy about his favorite story he got banned from online forums for info dumping too hard and defending his favorite story

- He's also the super cool protagonist who always knows what's gonna happen next and knows exactly what needs to be done to overcome every challenge. He has a magic glowing sword that he got from a gacha machine and he fights with loopholes and bs cheats and exploits he learned from years of reading. He can get stabbed without flinching or even being scratched, and he can fight the super op protagonist one on one through a home-alone level of planning and setup, playing seven steps ahead at all times so he can come out on top in the face of impossible odds

One level down, spoiler warning from here on

- He's got perpetual guilt towards everyone ever that he tries so hard to make up for, he loves his friends so deeply that he will go to the ends of the earth and do sensibly impossible things for their sake even without being asked because he wants the absolute best for them, and wants to see them happy so badly. He loves every part of the world so much that he looked at the worst disaster the world had ever seen at that point, a catastrophe so devastating it could single handedly wipe out Seoul as a whole, and all he cared about was the scared, lonely girl at the heart of it and decided he would write her a better story. He wouldn't let even that one child with countless lives worth of pain and suffering and violence be unhappy and die in vain. The story is carried by his heart that loves too much to let go of the things that are important to him, and the things that are important to those he loves

- At the same time, Kim Dokja is also so cheeky and shameless and brazen. He loves scheming and ploting and being silly, he slaps his companion when he's knocked about because he'd get his ass beat if the guy was awake. He's constantly bickering with his other companion, calling her ugly because she said the same about him. YJH can't fucking stand the two of them together because he knows KDJ and HSY are being little conniving rats. He has such a "bratty best friends or siblings that can't stop fighting" relationship with who was for a good while The Big Bad Antagonist who wanted to rule the world with her knowledge of the future. He steals her sword the second he meets her, and also steals her flag for good measure so he wins the life or death game of capture the flag. He loves scamming people who are too full of themselves, but also is Too Full Of Himself as well which makes it so fun when both he gets away with conning someone else, and also when he gets conned too

And one layer even below that

- Kim Dokja is also deeply cynical, assuming the worst of himself and believing its his Role in life after the apocalypse happens is to help make sure his companions are happy and can survive on their own. He sees himself as nothing more than a tool for their survival and happiness, and constantly tries to be a realist, knowing something has to be sacrificed to get what you want. He refuses to let his loved ones suffer because of that rule though so he decides to take all of the sacrifice onto himself in their stead. He's afraid of getting close to anybody because he's terrified they'll see "the real him" and be disgusted by it, but at the same tome still he goes out of his way to build an unbreakable trust with them, being there for them even in and especially in their darkest hours. He's terrified of being perceived yet craves helping others so badly.

Another step deeper

- Kim Dokja is someone who believes he has to do everything on his own. He thinks he has to be the one to fix everything and carry the weight of every struggle himself, fix every problem with his own hands, build a better future brick by brick all alone. He believes that nobody will be there for him because he's had to live so long surviving on his own. The beauty of the story though is because of this belief he has, it makes all of his mistakes shine so brightly because even when Kim Dokja makes a mistake, even when he misses a detail, when he slips and stumbles, his companions are there for him. They choose to be there and help him too just like how he helps them time and time again. There are aspects to Dokja that are ugly and frustrating and aloof, but those are the things that are so important at making the world even brighter. He thinks he's alone, he says that time and time again, and the story shows you that he isn't. There will always be people there for him even if he thinks he doesn't deserve it, and he'll always be loved for being in other people's lives because that's how people work.

And the final layer

- Kim Dokja is the most human character of all time. All of the contradictions people have, all their nuances and desires and fears and feelings and disagreements, all of the things that don't necessarily make sense or don't get talked about, everything that makes up a person and their life in this world, Kim Dokja has all of that. He's the most normal guy of all time, sharing the same problems we as the reader share, while also fighting a spectacle that can't be replicated in real life. He wants to be loved, he's terrified of people loving him. He tries to act so serious, he's a silly little guy who can't help laughing and smiling when his companions do something stupid. He's so objective and sure of himself, while also being SO unreliable as a narrator. He's a grown, mature adult, he's also a kid who loves stories and always roots for the protagonist. He knows everything there is to know, he's constantly learning from other people, feeding on their stories and knowledge and wisdom. He's the teacher and the student, the helper and the helped, the main character and the one reading the story, the father and the son, the social and the reserved, the incredibly strong and the completely talentless, he's everything. I both hate Kim Dokja for all of his stupid bullshit and dumb ideas, his stubbornness and denial, but I also love him with all of my heart, every time he cares for his friends and does something badass and saves people, I can't help but love him. If you wanted the most plain, short, simple explanation possible for him, it'd be Kim Dokja is human, or Kim Dokja is a contradiction. There's so many reasons you could like him or dislike him, you just have to look for the aspect that appeals to you. And with how many aspects there are to him, I'm sure anybody could find something to like.

Humans and nonhumans of the internet who are kdj fans/stans/kinnies. Pls info dump or list everything abt kdj. Need specific questions bc u dk what to say? (I do that too) maybe start with: What is his personality like? And go from there?

Pls i need a way to like the guy. He parallels a lot with how my high/secondary school teachers talk abt and try and fail to portray jesus as (bible studies and chapel were compulsory in addition to that) and i am so annoyed by him i literally dropped the whole story. Everytime i see him i associate him with sitting on the floor in a too crowded hall for several hours. This is horrible. I AM TRYING MY BEST TO LIKE THE GUY AND OBJECTIVELY HES KINDA ALRIGHT BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME LIKE HIM BC HE REMINDS ME OF HIGH/SECONDARY SCHOOL!!

[trace9091]

Spoiler Warning I guess for ORV

YJH is Stupid™, very Stupid™ in fact, probably helped write the trademark for it, that mf does not have a single thought in his mind and I love it for him. That man is huge of heart, Dumb Of Ass with all the capitals he could possibly ask for. I can't remember the exact point (I think it was around the Catastrophe Of Floods? Maybe??) But at some point early on Dokja explicitly calls out that Junghyeok took so many regressions in TWSA to only barely be able to make it to the end because he's just. So stupid. He's naive and stubborn and brash and reckless and impatient, that mf has his tenacity and plot talent and that's IT! Junghyeok is super talented, but he is so unabashedly Dumb sometimes. His Regression stigma is a blessing and the only reason he made it to the end, but it also functions as a pretty heavy curse too. Haven't read to the end so this is mainly based on webtoon stuff but a lot of the things Dokja had to jump in and save Junghyeok from are Junghyeok's own Stupid decisions! The entire like, first 30% of the book really drives home Dokja's "you can't regress, what would happen to me/this world?" Because keeping that Sunfish Bastard alive is a grueling task. The Cinema Dungeon, talking to Seolhwa/Antinus and later suggesting killing Seolhwa after getting poisoned, the ENTIRE Catastrophe Of Floods scenario (my man can not keep his mouth shut at all), and his regressors depression during the Church Of Salvation arc too. There's even littler things too like the way he uses Giant Body Transformation too early or runs off into secret scenarios unprepared. Where Dokja thinks everything over obsessively, running every tiny detail and possibility, Junghyeok does things by slamming his head into a wall over and over until something gives, because he has as many tries as he needs and has never really been one for thinking too hard. It's like the most fucked up experiment cuz Dokja studies everything that happens, learns everything he knows through Junghyeok's fuck ups, but the guy he's studying is a monkey throwing himself chin-first into a typewriter. Thinking is Dokja's thing, Junghyeok has to live by feeling and trial because thats who he is. That's what makes him so special too, his refusal to give up even when faced with the impossible, and trying again and again and again until eventually he finds some way.

Also one other thing to keep in mind is how completely rigged and secretive the scenarios are. The Dokkaebi are borderline predatory with the way they talk and play with the incarnations, hiding details to ensure as much chaos and drama as possible. Dokja's big cool secrets were all loop holes from experience like killing bugs, avoiding the "death" fail state in the bridge scenario right after that, breaking all the green rooms in the subway, and then yeah the Absolute Throne, the thing the entire 4th scenario was about. Select a king, follow that king and fight for/with them, and when they reach a throne that gives them the power they've been lacking for so long, who would even think to destroy something so helpful? The tie to the demon king was a completely hidden secret too, so who knows how hard it would've been to figure out how detrimental it really was, if he even made it that far in every regression to begin with. Remember, that fucker almost died in the Scenario Three Cinema Dungeon right off the bat, he probably didn't make it to the Seoul Destruction part very often. (Also brief aside, the final kings qualification battle even uses misdirection and loopholes with the whole coins thing),

TL;DR: Junghyeok has always been Pure Of Heart, Dumb Of Ass, and the scenarios are designed to intentionally fuck you over. He's doing his best 🥰

something that always bothered me about yjh is how the hell did he never realize that he shouldnt be sitting on the absolute throne if he wants to avoid the destruction of seoul? until the 41st round??? (and ik the novel says 14th but thats a mistake singshong corrected later on) but anw dude?? are you Stupid™

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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

[trace9091]

My father was, altogether, mainly the absence of a person. The illusion of a second parent, someone who took up a seat, without there really being anyone there. When we were left at home with dad, it didn't mean that dad would be keeping an eye on us, it meant that us kids were alone in the house while he was there, or then that we'd have to be keeping an eye on him. My mother was one of those women who had a whole wholesome nuclear family in theory, but not in practice. She was a single mother with a man in the house. And she didn't get dick for the privilege of keeping him around. They slept in separate beds.

He never did anything, most of the time I realise in hindsight that a normal father would have done something in a situation where he was there and did nothing. It wasn't traumatic or anything, all he ever did was just physically be there, his biggest influence was ensuring that nobody else could be in his place. We didn't really have a father but couldn't dream of having a stepfather who'd actually care about being there. Mom was a married single mother raising two kids alone. He was just there. Making promises to do something and then not doing it, until nobody expected anything of him anymore.

My father died when I was 17. I wasn't particularly shocked or upset. Mainly I felt mildly surprised to how indifferent I felt about it. The man-shaped empty space in my life was just suddenly not shaped like a person anymore.

[trace9091]

Easily one of the top ten best adaptation choices in all of Monogatari is that they show Gaen Izuko literally has the series timeline on her phone and has to refer to it despite being omniscient

like yeah bitch me too

[trace9091]

Fire Emblem Engage Outfit Swap! Yay

[trace9091]

- Blue Period -

(Just some self-indulgent vent rambling to myself, to put these thoughts down)

I used to not understand Yuka. What they meant by "my wants are the only thing that protect me". It felt like something I could never grasp or properly understand. Desire was always bad, when has wanting something ever been good? You want something, and either you get it and get called greedy, or you don't get it and instead are left with disappointment. Or worst of all, you get it just to lose it soon after. What good is there from that? It wasn't until now that I finally realize the only thing worse than wanting something is having so little that you don't even have wants. Having nothing, being pushed out and into the abyss, is worse. People will always hate desires that aren't theirs, that brush up against theirs or pose even the slightest pushback. People are extremely territorial of their desires regardless of how little territory there is for people to live on. These desires will be hated for as long as they exist. And the only thing keeping that hatred from snuffing them out, is these desires in the first place. These wants, wishes, dreams, the only reason they're still here is because they're stronger than the fear of being hated. If they'll always be hated anyways, if I'll always have to carry that weight regardless of what I do besides disappearing completely, then why should I care at this point? Why should I try to hide it? Even the slightest action that shows wanting something will be punished anyways, so why not cover myself in these dreams completely? They'll find out anyways, they'll hate me anyways. It doesn't matter if it's characters or friends or media or food or anything, it'll all be hated the same. It's just something I have to accept this point, and carry it in the most comfortable way possible regardless of how well hidden that way is.

I get what Maki's saying too though. It would be more enjoyable if things were different. If they weren't hated, if the circumstances of this scorn never existed in the first place, I could enjoy this life so much more freely. I'll still wish for it even if it'll never happen. Maybe it's like what Tobias and August talked about though. "You can't stop the pain, Tobias! It doesn't stop, it doesn't just go away! Even if you rid yourself of one, it'll only replace itself with another no matter what... You would only find new suffering and feel equally burdened by it. But it isn't hopeless. How do you combat this? Face it. Conquer it. Be brave." Maybe there would always be someone new. Maybe that's just how it is.

Hm. Maybe not everyone at least. At least not now. There will always be one, there has always been at least one, but if it can withstand that one then maybe it'll be ok. There's an entire universe of a difference between 0% and 0.1%

And there's even more than that too. Others won't be hated in this exact way, but there are things that can be learned from it too. You can always learn something by reading the stories of others. That they're hated too, that you aren't alone. It's never a mirror, but at a glance would you be able to tell the difference between a reflection and a mannequin?

It's bound to happen. I can live with it though. I mean, I've seen others do it before me. Do it with me, beside me, to me, I've seen it all. But there's a way to survive it. To survive in a ruined world. "You wish for wings or horns or fangs" but you've also seen someone else take that hatred and keep going. You've watched her go through it all. You've seen it twice actually

"Remember that they have a voice, but so do you."//"How long are you going to keep quiet? If you don't say anything, the whole world will misunderstand you."

"There's always hope. If you don't like the ending you can always go find another one."

If she could handle it for 1864 life times, then I can handle it for this one. At least just this one

It really is incredible how someone else's story can say the words you were looking for. How looking at them can say it to you. That's why I wrote all this after all, because I knew there was some way that they held what I was trying to say.

"A storyteller was supposed to remain neutral. The thing was, though, all judges secretly rooted for a team they liked."//"Some people aren't liars, they're storytellers."

"I liked you, hated you, resented you, and cheered for you. I was with you throughout your three thousand episode journey."//"You're alone? Do you know what we went through to get here? And you say you're alone?! How are you alone?"

"This life, although miserable, is made slightly more tolerable with each time I hear your voice."//"You knew deep inside that you had to take the dive cause it was the only way you knew to feel alive."

"I like it when it snows. Because for a moment, when the entire village is blanketed with the pure white snow, it's original disgusting appearance seems to disappear. And the whole world looks pure and beautiful. So I like it when it snows."

"Surprisingly, I don't really care anymore because in this universe, on this vast planet, I was able to know you."//"Never in any dimension, or any timeline, or any anything, have I ever found someone that doesn't matter."

I do have desires. I have passions, and likes, and feelings, and wants. Even if I hated them too, I still have them. I do like them. I do. And I guess there's nothing left to think about.