totoroko

[totoroko]

[totoroko]

death mountain in zelda 1-2 and lttp: you WILL die here, ganon himself live here, die, kill you

death mountain in every subsequent game: yeah it’s called death mountain and all that but check these dudes out

[totoroko]

this really happened

[totoroko]

the last time i went to pride a few years ago i brought one of these things and filled it to the brim with vodka and i was too busy sharing hits off the secret vodka bag with every stranger who wanted to partake to care about anything else. it became a whole bartering system where people gave me pins or lei's or other trinkets to gain a spot in line for the secret vodka camel bag. didn't matter what they looked like or how much clothes they wore, drag queens and leather kings and all the other ruffians got a hit from the camel bag if they had something to share, even if all they had was themselves. it was fucking disgusting. nobody had to bend down or anything because the straw was several feet long. moral of the story is at the end of the day... coexist.

[totoroko]

“My dog stole my boyfriend and then sassed me”

(Source)

[totoroko]

Oh yeah man get it nice mo- JACK BLACK?!?!

[totoroko]

[totoroko]

octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.

[totoroko]

Round man. Round man. Rotund. Circular.

[totoroko]

nah. fuck you *throws awful ingredients into your stock and ruins your soup beyond repair*

[totoroko]

People on tumblr: omg you are beautiful!!

people in real life: